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Mysteries Of The Water; wait! . . . . . . what was that?! . . . . . . oh, just a stick . . . . .
Topic Started: Jul 27 2011, 09:59 AM (464 Views)
Reiki
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Now this was the life, a large - possibly peaceful - lake where you could relax without the risk of getting disturbed by anyone. Well, at least not get disturbed by any humans, but then he hadn't seen any other people around since he had arrived here only the water pokemon that he could see frolicking in the shallow water of the shore or further out diving to their hearts content. Not that Kira minded this, it was almost nice to be alone without any form of contact with any other's - even if it did get a little lonely.

But hey, there was no time to think about now - now it was just time to relax . . . . . . . . or maybe not. Since after having sat down for a brief rest it hadn't lasted long for Kira, as within moments of him sitting close to the water's edge out of no where a small wave rose up before enveloping then soaking him slightly. The source? At first glance it seemed to be just a plain - but mischievous - Tentacool, that is . . . . . if it hadn't been for the amused and slightly disturbing cackling that emanated from the water pokemon seconds before it's form changed to the Zorua that it truly was. The small Pokemon soon charging up from the water to it's now drenched owner and jumping onto Kira's lap in triumph.
"you little . . . . .. . . . annoyance. the point of that was? . . . . . oh well, no matter Ryuu." Kira muttered questioningly in an oh - so - irritated way, though a slight smile formed as he gently ruffled the ear's of the small dog in a kind way, receiving a small growl of satisfaction as the pup snuggled up to him.

Though as the pair shared this small moment of companionship - it wasn't to last . . . . . . As after having deceived his companion into thinking all was back to its originally calm atmosphere where there were no obvious disturbances from either any obvious other being – whether it was human or pokemon – the small Zorua had since broke free of its master’s grip before dashing towards a small pool of water that lay a few metre’s from the spot in which Kira relaxed.

Though within a space of a few minutes of the small pokemon entering the water in his usual playful and hyper way, it seemed that the peacefulness was not to last. . . . . . Since upon the small pokemon’s rather abrupt and loud entrance to the water didn’t just cause a small disturbance in which would otherwise have resulted in scaring off any smaller pokemon within the area, it would have seemed that the small fox had landed heavily and accidently upon the head of a Marill which had been relaxing just under the water’s surface. As a result of this caused both a cry of pain and anger to rise up from the small water mouse moments after the small Zorua that had disturbed it jumped free of the water in a rather startled and alarmed way – having not expected there to be any other’s within the water.

Though after having had the small illusion fox both jump into its resting place where it had been minding its own business and having now received a blow to the head – which in turn resulted in a small lump having formed and a possible headache to begin to bother it – this was enough to cause the Maill to become severely annoyed and angry with the pair, causing it in turn to move towards the edge of the small but deep pool to allow itself to easily climb out onto land.

Upon it breaking free of the water and moving further onto the dry land, within a few moments a second rather loud cry echoed from the small pokemon before it began to charge. The result of this? Both Kira and Ryuu becoming startled and jumping in surprise, having not seen - and therefore not having expected - such a loud cry to be heard from so close and from such a small pokemon. Though even despite having heard the cry, the pair had next to no time to react quickly enough to move out of the path that the Marill was taking, as a result it ended badly for Kira - since the small but strangely powerful charge of the Maril caused it run right into the Human teen's back, causing a cry of pain to be heard from him before the small mouse took a slight jump back.

After having heard the cry from his master, Ryuu had since vacated the boy's lap before beginning to growl menacingly at the intruder after having moved to face the Marill - keeping it's narrowed blue eye's upon it's enemy. "Ryuu, you got this buddy? . . . . . . then use Scratch." Kira commanded, teeth gritted against the pain after having risen warily to his feet to watch the two pokemon for the longest time.

So, having since received his first command from his master - the small Zorua soon rushed forward just as the green Marill began to charge once more, in turn using it's own Tackle against Ryuu. After a few seconds and a couple of loud cries later, the Marill had since received a blow to it's head from the Scratch, stunning it slightly while Ryuu was thrown back form the force of the Tackle launched at him - landing neatly and casually on his feet within moments. "now Ryuu . . . . move quickly and use Fury Swipes." Kira commanded quickly, taking only a second to think about the next move before giving a voice to his thoughts, in turn sending Ryuu rushing forward speedily towards the Marill once more.

Upon reaching the target once more, Ryuu began slashing repeatedly at the small Marill for a long time in turn causing the small mouse to stumble back painfully. The end result caused the small mouse to be looking both beaten severely and bruised from the attacks it had received though the small pokemon still attempted to try regain it's footings . . . . . . when it did, the Maril launched a burst of water {water Gun} at the small fox, sending him flying back and hard only to slam painfully against a nearby rock which caused a cry of pain to be heard from the small Zorua before the small darkness pokemon slid to the ground as the water was stopped being shot out at him. Which in turn caused a rather sorry looking Ryuu to unsteadily take a few shaky steps to position itself both in front of his master and opposite the Marill in an equally determined way.

But of course, just because the battling pair of pokemon were tiring now didn’t mean the battle was over quite yet, since the two pokemon just stood a few metre’s apart and studied each other in a rather weary but careful way for the longest time. But although they were watching one another, it didn’t take long for them to make their moves, since the Marill soon began to rush towards Ryuu once more this time using its Tackle and using the force of its sudden burst of speed to put some force behind the attack.”Ryuu, this time use Pursuit . . . .” Kira commanded, quickly sending out his own command to his pokemon before it was too late.

So moving just a little faster than his opponent this time, Ryuu quickly moved towards the water mouse before quickly and aggressively swiping at it despite the Maril’s attempt to counterattack, it didn’t appear to work so well as the mouse had planned.
Though, upon receiving this rather aggressive attack and making an attempt to use its own attack in its already weakened state wasn't quite as good an idea as it may have first seemed. Since with a pitiful and weak cry, the Marill soon fell flat on it's back and fainted upon contact - which in turn allowed the small Zorua by Kira's feet to relax and sit itself down now that the threat had been dealt with.

Of course, this also allowing enough time in which to enable a capture, Which is exactly what Kira had in mind - as after seeing the Water mouse's determination during their brief but brutal battle Kira had somehow managed to become a little impressed with the small pokemon's power. Which was why now Kira had carefully pulled out a pokeball before throwing it a little at the Maril, in turn the capsule tapping the fallen pokemon - opening briefly in order to take the pokemon inside - then finally closing and falling to the ground, twitching a few moments before going still signalling the end of a capture.
Edited by Reiki, Jul 29 2011, 12:39 AM.
Kira - The Lone Wanderer


Suzume - The Blue Sparrow


Aaron - The Quiet One
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So, now the battle was 'officially' over along with {OOC: possibly} having captured of the small - but aggressive - Marill, a small sigh if relief escaped Kira. Sure - the small water pokemon had possibly been protecting it's territory from the 'intruders' when it had struck him, just because it was now contained within the pokeball Kira had since picked up it didn't mean the small water mouse wouldn't still try to at least aim it's anger towards it's new human master. Specially after having beaten it like this and possibly humiliated the small mouse, but then again - it was either that choice or just allowing the water mouse to beat him to a pulp, which it probably would have done if he hadn't had Ryuu with him.

As far as Kira was concerned, he'd had a lucky break in regards to avoid any further more serious damage other than the bruise that had since formed on his back after receiving the rather painful hit to his back. Which was now why Kira had knelt down to stroke the small, tired Zorua that was sitting a few steps from him for the longest time before smiling in a kind and grateful way. "thanks for your help Ryuu . . . . . you did really well." he murmured kindly and softly, in turn receiving a quiet bark from the small foz followed soon after by a rather smug and proud little smile and a little strue resulting in a small chuckle from his human counterpart.

Right, so praising over - within moments Kira had begun to inspect the injuries that the small Zorua had received during it's scuffle, pulling out out some medical supplies before gently applying the various remedies to the cuts and bruises. Of course ensuring to bandage the more extreme ones - which, luckily, were very few - the injuries being mainly bruises or small cuts, this taking Kira a few minutes before packing away what remained and giving the small dark fox a final pat to confirm all was finished in turn sending the small pokemon back off to amuse itself, though slower than when they had first come here.
Kira - The Lone Wanderer


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RedHero
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So, In regards to the first post.
Right now, it's simply not good enough. 2 Moves is certainly not enough for any BP, and I don't feel using two moves on a abnormally colored marill who just happens to appear is enough for a capture.
Maybe I'm picky, the Other Real staff can totally approve it if they want, but I think it needs more work.

Add a few moves. Try lengthening the battle by adding more moves or something, even then I wouldn't be totally comfortable having you come across a pale green Marill so easily. Add more description, have more happen as to how he showed up. For me, it's just not quite good enough.

But then I'm only a "Temporary Mod" so if you want, just appeal to some other staff.
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Aaron Sid
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Key2dawn
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Cursed by Writer's Block | Former Admin
((I approve Hero's message.))
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Reiki
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I thought i might have been pushing my luck in regards to the Marill in question to be an abnormal light green in colour. so in regards to that i will actually remove that and change description to a regular blue one.

Though i a glad someone actually mentioned about needing more description in regards to the battle side of things. Truthfuly i wasn't sure about it myself since this is the first time i have been on a site like this that the member's are given a little more freedom in ragards to 'capturing' any pokemon of their wish of course as long as the post is good enough for the pokemon in question.
So i will make sure to add more attacks, make the battle longer and how it turned up or whatever. though may be a little while before i get chance to do so since my computer has decided to die and i am currently using someone else's. But when i am done i will make sure to write a post stating that i am done.
Kira - The Lone Wanderer


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Alright, so i have made some improvements on my orginal (first) post, in turn making it both longer and adding more attacks to it as requested by the staff that both replied and approved the other.
So hopefully it might be long enough to meet all specifications in regards to the battling side of things as well as being enough to enable the capture. if not then i guess depending upon the staff member who does / does not approve it i ill make any extra changes needed.
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RedHero
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Still a bit of a problem. Now I guess you don't technically need to have BP for this encounter, but really you're just a move or so away from it. It's generally about 4 Moves in a battle to earn your pokemon a battle point, If you lengthen it just a bit, add one (Or even two) moves for good measure, I think it'll be alright. I guess if you decide not to do that, it's cool too.

I think you changed the Marill from green to regular? in which case I believe this post would be good enough, though again, I'd like a more in depth battle, just a tad more description and it'd be great if you tack on another move or so.

But yeah, If you make changes, let someone know and you can get Ryuu a Battle Point as well, otherwise, Approved Capture.

Though another mod can totally disagree and reverse my decision I guess.

Damn this Temp-Pseudo-Mod Status
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! *Pounds ground dramatically*
Edited by RedHero, Jul 29 2011, 11:16 PM.
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Aaron Sid
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Reiki
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*sighs* - *nods*
alright, i uderstand. though i have made sure to add a couple more moves and more info / description in regards to the battle side of things. But for next time i will make sure that i actually spend ALOT more time writing out the thread itself specially if there is a battle invoved and make sure that more info is included in it.
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RedHero
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Totally, it's a learning process really. In my opinion, it's better for you to overdo a thread/post when you write it, rather than risk not doing enough. Saves you trouble like this. Be mindful of the length of the battle and the amount of moves and stuff. For examples you can read some other peoples posts (The Staff Especially) and it can give you a bit of something to aspire to in terms of detail. Don't worry about it too much though, and sorry to make you go through all the trouble or be nit-picky or anything
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Aaron Sid
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Don't worry it's alright. Like you said, it's a learning process - both for you and me. you since your needing to learn about all the things you need to do / use while being a member of staff {whether temporary or permanant} so i can totally understand the need for you to be a little picky. And sure i need to learn about what i eed to do more of in regards to writing out stuff like this, specially since i'm still getting used to be on a site like this that, since am more used to other sites where often the staff member decided upon the choice of pokemon for member's.
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