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| Let Me Die | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 20 2009, 05:40 AM (154 Views) | |
| Inarabitta | Jun 20 2009, 05:40 AM Post #1 |
WOOOOBBUFFET!
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"For as long as I remember, my life has always been one-sided, unfair, meaningless. Every time I woke up I prayed to God to let me die. But over the years I learned God doesn't care about anyone but himself. It's been 1 year now on this day that I decided only I have the power; the day I attempted to kill myself. The start of a new month. I got to have hope that today is the day I'll finally die. The sun was shining on my face as I sat up in my bed. The sky looked so nice. I couldn't help but smirk. Today was the day...." |
 Like some sort of Daft Punk.... | |
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| Inarabitta | Jun 20 2009, 05:40 AM Post #2 |
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WOOOOBBUFFET!
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-Day 1- As usual my little brother was the one to tell me of what day it was. As of now I am 22. He jumped onto my bed and bouncing up and down while singing to me. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear John! Happy birthday to you!" He crashed down on top of me and gave me a hug. I gave him a quick smile and ruffled up his hair with both my hands. I envied my little brother to the point of hatred. He was born with a weak heart, and weak lungs. Even at his age, he was smaller than most boys. It wasn't that bad, so long as he didn't strain himself too much physically. As I tried getting out of bed my little brother clung to my back; this was always a game to him. "So kid, what does dad have planned for today?" I looked at him as he nuzzled my back. "Daddy got you this big chocolate cake! Hey, John? Why does your cake have so many candles? Last year daddy put one more candle on my cake. Now there's 6! Hey, John? I love you the most. You're the much better than daddy and big sister!" As I held up my little brother on my back I hopped a couple times. He laughed as he bounced up and pretended I was some dinosaur or whatever kids imagine these days. As we entered the kitchen I saw the smiling face of my father. My little sister was no where to be found, but I never expected her to show her face around me. In front of my father was a chocolate cake. I gave him a passive smirk, almost like a mutual greeting between men. He opened up his arms and held me. "Happy birthday John. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for putting up with this foolish old man." I pushed him away after a brief feeling of awkwardness. Closing my eyes, I quickly took a breath and rushed myself to blow out the candles. My wish of course was to let me die. It was a nice little moment. My father, my brother, and I took our time eating the cake. Not long after, my little brother began coughing while trying to maintain a laugh. I looked up at my father's face as he tried to mask his tears with a laugh. Saying how wonderful his life is, how much he loves us, how we're going to live together for a long time. He rushed over to my little brother who was still trying to laugh and smile for us as his coughing intensified in frequency. All I did was glare into his tearing eyes. ... "He's dead. It's a sign. I'm going too. If that little f*ck up can die so easily, so can I." My father was clinging to my little brother's body as he helplessly watched me load the gun. I managed to put the barrel deep in my mouth. I always get the barrel in my mouth. Our eyes shifted to the door as my sister walked in. She saw our dead brother lying in our father's arms. She saw the barrel in my mouth again. I looked at her and took my hand off the trigger, holding the entire gun with nothing but my teeth. "C'mon you c*nt. Do it. You know I can never get farther than this." I waved my index finger, taunting her. "You're weak." She walked towards me, hand out to grab the handle. Just as she was about to pull the trigger, that damn old man knocked her over. He screamed at us, letting loose all his pent up emotions from over the years. I was so close to dying. Why did you have to ruin it? And you little brother. I envy you. |
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Like some sort of Daft Punk.... | |
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| Inarabitta | Oct 22 2009, 05:08 AM Post #3 |
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WOOOOBBUFFET!
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-Day 1 Cont., Night- It took forever. I couldn't stand it. Watching that lucky [BOK FACE] being taken away into the back of the ambulance. Seeing that wretched old man crying his life away as the brutes knock him to the ground. And to think, one of them dared to ask me what had happened. "Alright, one last time for the record. The boy died of natural illness and you used the gun in self defense? Seems almost too perfect." The officer glared at me with an eye propped up. "It's the truth. My sister will back me up on this! The man needs therapy for christ's sake!" I looked quickly at my sister with a firm glare, thinking in my mind for her to play along. Even though we have always hated each other there has always been a deep bond between us. I bet it's because I was the one who had to raise her. Luckily she caught on. A bit over exaggerated, but we finally convinced him. With a quick nod he went away, along with our father and the corpse of our little brother. "...So, guess you have all the free time you want to kill yourself." "At least until I gotta bail him out. How pathetic. The man didn't even care he's going to jail all because that little brat is dead." "It's your fault." I slapped the back of her head as she stomped on my foot. We traded curses for a short while before heading back into our house. "Hey...they took the gun away, right? How are you gonna kill yourself?" "No clue." I stood in a deep pause. She stood in a pause too, looking down at the floor uncomfortably. She was thinking something. It was something she's been wanting to tell me for years but refused to. Deep in my mind I too have wanted to hear her say it, those words: Don't kill yourself. When we were younger I used to always joke and play with her, back when our family was actually decent. I didn't even mind having to take care of her. As I reminisced about those days I soon found myself holding her, crying on her pretty little head. This made me wonder, why exactly did I fool myself into hating the only person I genuinely loved? Somehow we ended up asleep together on the couch. All the lights in the house were off. I shook off what little dizziness remained as I heard a small fidgit at the door. She was stirring too, although not fully awake. "Hm...John what's wrong?" "Shssh!" I covered her mouth as I watched the door knob shake even more. I felt her, along with myself tightening in grip. I slowly got up on my feet as I shook her off. She stayed on the couch, curled like a ball. "Get upstairs." Readying my nerves, I approached the door. I couldn't believe who it was though when it opened. Seeing his smug, drunk face paralyzed me as our eyes met. Before I knew it I was down on the floor. It's so cold...what am I lying in? It's so hard to keep my eyes open. Why does my chest feel numb? Sister, is that you screaming? Stay away from her you [BOK FACE]! It's so unfair! I want to die, but I can't now! Get up you stupid body! She needs you! "Stay away from her you god damn [BOK FACE]!" |
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Like some sort of Daft Punk.... | |
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12:17 PM Nov 27
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