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Bad Trip; ...Wanna get high?
Topic Started: Jun 6 2011, 08:30 AM (222 Views)
Troy
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Yeah. I’m not going to Namek. Was gonna, but then I met these guys driving a car aimlessly through the blue desert… They pulled over and asked me if I wanted to party with them. They seemed like cool guys, so I thought what the Hell.

They looked kinda like this:

Posted Image

What could go wrong?

Little did I know I was about to be in the deepest shit EVER!

“Wanna be a guinea pig for us, kid? We got this stuff sent to us, and we’re looking for someone REALLY cool to test it out for us while we monitor your reactions. This stuff is supposed to have medicinal purposes. We’ll compensate you thoroughly for your services, and your experimentation could help us save lives. Heheheheh…” the one in the passenger seat said through his teeth holding the cigarette holder in place.

Really cool? If there was anything I was, it was cool! I was the personification of cool. Look cool up in the dictionary, and you’d find me. So if they need someone who’s cool, than that would be me. Plus, I was going to help people by experimenting with a medicinal drug; who wouldn’t want to help out people with… What was this supposed to treat? He didn’t say… Well, who wouldn’t help out people with the problem this drug treats?

“I’m in, man. What do I do?”

“Just hold your eye open and let a drop of this stuff in there. Just like an eye drop, friend.” the passenger said handing an eye drop container over to me.

Lacy probably wouldn’t trust these guys, but Lacy wasn’t here, so no buzzkill for me. I held open my right eye and let a drop of the drug land on my pupil.

Almost immediately, there was a response. Purple waves created a tunnel around us in the car. We were driving through a tunnel in the prettiest colors I have ever seen. The passenger turned on a tape recorder and began to look at me with a serious look on his face as he took notes. At least he was serious about monitoring this trip.

So far, so good. I’m light as a feather. My mind is freely thinking about everything around me and going on in my life. And my eyes are seeing colors I didn’t know existed. It’s like I was living in a real life Avatar scene. The colors were unreal.

We drove by a gas station and the car pulled over so that the driver could fill her up. This is where things started to go wrong. The colors circled around me and it started to circle faster and faster. It made shapes of demon faces that roared at me. I shot a ki blast into it, but it went right through the face and the demon was unfazed.

“Jesus man! What the hell are you shooting at? If I knew you were going to lose your shit like a pussy, I wouldn’t have let you have the drug. You calm down dammit, or I’m gonna have to let you go.

“The Demon’s gonna get me!”

I had to run. I couldn’t listen to this guy There were worse things to worry about than some mindless babble… I jumped from the backseat and took off into the vast desert!

“What the Hell!? That’s the last time we let a human test our drugs! This was NOT part of the plan, Gonzo!”

Gonzo just shrugged as he leaned against the convertible and lit a cigarette.

My situation was getting worse as time went on. I turned to see if the Demon was following me. He was, in fact, still following me; laughing as he ate imaginary kittens as he chased me.

“No! Poor kittens!!!!”

“This is just the appetizer, Troy! Better keep running, because I’m still hungry.” the demon said between swallowing kittens.

That pretty much solidified my urge to keep running. Faster even. I picked up the pace and stumbled over the dunes in the Esahu Desert. Holy crap, no matter how fast I run, the demon stays the same distance from me. Hmm. I slowed down to a walk and looked back. The demon looked confused, but stayed the same distance from me. Well, that is a relief. I sad down on top of a dune in the desert and dug my hands into the sand. I picked up handfuls and watched the sand slip between my fingers. It was amazing. The texture. The colors. It was amazing.

The demon was chilling as he circled me, but never got any closer. I was no longer scared of him. Even though he kept eating imaginary kittens and screaming about how he was going to eat me and rape my soul or some nonsense. It was kind of cool. Like safe training for facing your fears. A kitten eating demon is pretty damn scary, but after a while, it’s kinda boring. He’s getting old…

The colors began to warm my skin. It felt nice because earlier I was cold as hell. Heh. That’s a weird saying; cold as hell. Hell’s notorious for being hot. That’s how people perceive Hell. But earlier, I was cold as hell…

“I’ve found him Gonzo! Hey, buddy I think we’re one toke over the line…” the passenger from the convertible said as he kneeled down next to me and wiped the sand out of my hands.

“One Toke? You Poor Fool. Wait til you see those goddamn bats!”

Yes. Bats were now flying at me. An upgrade from the demon, because they seemed to break through the demon’s barrier and fly right at my face. Not to mention bats were creepy animals.

This is crazy. A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.

“right… bats. So, let’s get away from these bats and camp out in my hotel room for the night. You’re gonna be a danger to yourself and those around you if you don’t come with me.”

[1025 words]
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Troy
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Ever fought high on Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake? I can now claim to have done so. It was totally awesome. But I don’t want to spoil the story by skipping to the fight, I want to tell you how it lead to this. To recap: I’m testing a drug for these two guys that seem like legit scientists. Unfortunately, it’s turning. I’ve been followed by a demon eating imaginary kittens all day. It’s been an amazing trip. But it’s just getting sour now. I don’t even know what this stuff is called at this point. I finally followed these guys back to the gas station and crawled into the back seat. Gonzo and the passenger climbed into their respective seats.

“So what’s this stuff called, anyway? What’s it for?”

“It’s called Alabama Liquid Snake. It’s medical purposes are for… uh, Gonzo, what’s a legitimate sounding medical condition?” the passenger said with a pause.

Gonzo, the driver shrugged without even looking over. Not saying he was looking at the road, but he wasn’t looking at us. This was very reassuring. I’m now thoroughly convinced I’ve made a mistake. I looked out the side of the convertible and saw that the kitten eating demon had now moved on to puppies. He looked over at me and shrugged.

“What? Don’t judge me, kid! I’m just a figment of YOUR imagination. You are to blame for the (imaginary) lives of the innocents.” He was saying this while marinating a beagle puppy with Sweet Baby Ray’s Original Hot Barbeque Sauce.

Well, this was an interesting predicament I was in. What made it worse was what happened after I was just thinking ‘This can’t get any worse’. My communicator started to go off.

Holy SHIT! Lacy was calling me. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t calling me over to become her booty call. I’m pretty sure this might have something to do with missing our appointment with a planet called Namek. If I didn’t answer she’d probably worry too much, but if I did answer, and told her ‘Hey, sorry I couldn’t make our date to Namek, I hopped in a convertible with two strange men and tested a drug and now a demon that was eating kittens is now eating puppies.’ I don’t think she was gonna understand that. I’m not answering this call.

Oh look my communicators ringing.

“Hello?”

CRAP!!!

“Where the FUCK are you, asshole!? You’re 28 hours late!!!!”

“I’m sorry I missed our date baby, but you’re the one I love. I’m just becoming a hero for medical experimentation. I’m gonna save lives, Lacy!” I said with slurred speech. To me it sounded perfect, but looking back on it, I’m sure it was almost inaudible.

“What the fuck are you talking about!? Are we going to Namek or not!?”

“My mind is telling me no, but my Aura is telling me… Hell no”

Lacy was pissed. I could tell by the way she was screaming at me through the communicator. I couldn’t remember what she was saying, but it was probably along the lines of: ‘You have one day left to stay out of trouble, and you get into these shenanigans. You are the worst, I’m definitely telling Captain Vint on you. Even if I do think you’re super sexy, and I want to get up on it, I can’t believe you did this without sharing it with me!’

“…okay!?”

“Uh yeah.”

“So we’re agreed, then?”

“Definitely… What did we just agree on, exactly”

Lacy let out a frustrated sigh before she explained it again; “I’m going on ahead to Namek, and you’re going to sober up and follow me here when it’s all over with.”

“Right. Sounds like a plan, but don’t do anything too dangerous. By yourself, it could get ugly fast. The Kitten eating Demon might be able to get past your barrier and eat you.”

“…I’m not even going to ask, and I’m certainly not going to take advice from you, Cheech.”

“Oh, please; if I’m anybody, I’m Chong. But seriously, be careful.”

“Same to you…”

Then the communicator cut off. I put it back in my bag and looked up. Gonzo was asleep at the wheel, and we were now in the middle of the desert and the street was no where in sight.

“Hey, Gonzo… GONZO!!!!”

CRASH!

Hours later we were standing on the highest dune in the desert. The convertible strapped to my back. I was intentionally giving Gonzo the stink eye, but he didn’t seem to notice. That, or he didn’t seem to care. We walked further down the dune and headed west. Manifest Destiny and all that. It’s as simple of that.

“I spy with my little eye, something blue”

“Jesus Man! It’s sand! It was sand last time, and it’s gonna be sand next time!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!” the passenger screamed through his teet as he always did when he talked.

“No, it was sand! Okay… I spy with my little eye, something… blue”

The passenger in the had and with the cigarette holder clenched in his teeth just sighed.

Gonzo let out a chuckle. He seemed to be amused at my super strength combined with my ability to trip balls on Alabama Liquid Snake. I was lethal. When the hell were we going to get the hotel? I was starving. Room service sounded really good.

Finally, we found the road. Why didn’t I fly? Same reason, you don’t. When there’s a kitten and puppy eating demon following you, you don’t need to make him airborne. I placed the convertible on the road and hopped in the back, dukes of Hazard style and looked back at the ‘observers’. They were tired, and ready to get some sleep at the hotel.

“Hey guys let’s get to that hotel and order some pizza or something!”

Pizza was the magic word. Their eyes lit up and they raced to their respective seats and turned on the car. Next thing I knew we were flying down the highway toward Papra Hamlet.

[1006 words]
Edited by Troy, Jun 6 2011, 05:54 PM.
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When I came to, the general back-alley ambience of the suite was so rotten, so incredibly foul. How long had I been lying there? All these signs of violence. What had happened? There was evidence in this room of excessive consumption of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 AD. What kind of addict would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds? Would the presence of junkies account for all these uneaten french fries? These puddles of glazed ketchup on the bureau? Maybe so. But then why all this booze? And these crude pornographic photos smeared with mustard that had dried to a hard yellow crust? These were not the hoofprints of your average God-fearing junky. It was too savage. Too aggressive.

I know for a fact I didn’t do anymore drugs than the one I’m currently tripping balls off of. These guys were pretty hardcore. I learned immediately, these were not the kind of people I should be involved with. Heh, took me this long?

I found them passed out on the couch in the commons room. They were completely hung over and regretting their party last night. Welp, you reep what you sow. I was ready to get out of here. It was getting tiresome waiting. Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas the Esahu Desert. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco Papra Hamlet in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time in the world. Whatever it meant.

I kicked the foot of the one called Gonzo. He flinched and sat up to see who assaulted him. He looked at me for several moments.

“Who the fuck are you? You got some kind of death wish kicking my foot like that, pal?” he said in what was probably the most words he’s used since I’ve met the guy.

His accent was pretty thick Australian. Surprising, because he didn’t strike me as an Australian guy, he seemed more South American. Possibly Brazillian. But Austrailian? Maybe this drug was the most amazing thing in the world. That’s what I’m gonna hope as this is amazingly the craziest thing I’ve made such a big deal about.

So, I’m still tripping balls, and this is Day 3 now. The two ‘observers’ are finally awake, hung over, and wondering what the next plan is. We eventually decided to hop into the convertible and cruise while I explained what I was seeing. A nice strategy, save for the driver, Gonzo, was a maniac behind the wheel. Didn’t take long for a cop to get on our tail.

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop’s heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling over once you find a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at full speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.

I just about lost last night’s pizza as I grabbed my ‘oh shit’ handle and pulled myself against the centrifugal force. Gonzo may have had a shitty accent, but he was one hell of an escape driver. I think it was also partly because highway patrol cops on Yardrat were shitty at chasing, but I’ll give it to Gonzo. He knows his shit. Couldn’t have done it better myself. Wouldn’t have done it at all, but if I did do it, it would have been as good as Gonzo.

It was a good thing we escaped the cops. These guys had something to put them in danger. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that they needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew they'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. I just didn’t want to be around when they did get into it…

The passenger turned to me and spoke for the first time today. This is what he decided to tell me:

“There's something you should know... Can you hear me? I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?”

“Sounded Australian to me. No I’m not prejudiced, but can you let me off here, I’m ready to vomit now;” I said as I grabbed at my belly and swallowed back a bit of reflux.

“Suit yourself abs. Here’s your reward for hanging out with us all night! That Horse song was a trip.” the passenger said as Gonzo pulled over. He had tossed me a small vial. I didn’t want to know what was in it.

As I got out, the convertible took off.

“Wait! What’s your name!!!?”

“You can call me Hunter!!!!”

[1007 words]
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Quick
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The Space Bandit
Troy
Jun 6 2011, 10:24 AM
Look at my Horse. My horse is amazing. Give it a lick!
Mmm! It tastes just like raisins.
have a stroke of it's mane, it turns into a plane, and then it turns back again when you tug on it's winky!
ew that's dirty!
do you think so? Well I better not show you where the lemonade is made. Sweet Lemonade, Mmm Sweet Lemonade. Sweet Lemonade, Yes Sweet Lemonade.
Get on my horse, I'll take you 'round the universe and all the other places too.
I think you'll find that the universe pretty much covers everything.
Shut up woman get on my horse!

“I’m hungry guys! Somebody order a pizza!”

[1002 Words]
No. Do this day over - or add another day of 1000. I hope you're joking, but if not, c'mon, you should know better than that. Next we'll have Craig spamming Celine Dion lyrics to finish a Quest. You want the Quest reward, you've gotta earn it. Sweet, Sweet Lemonade.
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Troy
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[+270 EXP// +150 Zenni]

Quest Completed
[Mental Stimulant// +90 EXP]

Mental Stimulant [400z]
Inventory Slots: 1
Description: A natural stimulant that opens up the cerebral passageways. On planets where it is illegal, it is often smuggled in by unsavory types.
Effect: USEx1. Use when your defensive roll is lower than your opponent's attack roll. You may re-roll your defensive roll. This cannot be used against RESTRICTED attacks.
Edited by Troy, Jun 6 2011, 06:10 PM.
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Troy
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Quick
Jun 6 2011, 10:55 AM
Troy
Jun 6 2011, 10:24 AM
Look at my Horse. My horse is amazing. Give it a lick!
Mmm! It tastes just like raisins.
have a stroke of it's mane, it turns into a plane, and then it turns back again when you tug on it's winky!
ew that's dirty!
do you think so? Well I better not show you where the lemonade is made. Sweet Lemonade, Mmm Sweet Lemonade. Sweet Lemonade, Yes Sweet Lemonade.
Get on my horse, I'll take you 'round the universe and all the other places too.
I think you'll find that the universe pretty much covers everything.
Shut up woman get on my horse!

“I’m hungry guys! Somebody order a pizza!”

[1002 Words]
No. Do this day over - or add another day of 1000. I hope you're joking, but if not, c'mon, you should know better than that. Next we'll have Craig spamming Celine Dion lyrics to finish a Quest. You want the Quest reward, you've gotta earn it. Sweet, Sweet Lemonade.
Shut up woman get on my horse!
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