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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 15 2005, 02:49 PM (46 Views) | |
| FozzyMc | Jan 15 2005, 02:49 PM Post #1 |
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The camera opens to Fozzy McQueen, former 2x Dual Crown Champion, walking along the TNT corridors, hands in his pockets. Fozz nods as he passes random workers and other people - How ya goin'...g'day...how ya goin'...hey Chuck...shave off that bumfluff excuse for a beard, mate. Fozz looks to the camera - I didn't even know that guy...but he's not foolin' anyone with that. Fozz has a spring in his step, obviously in a good mood. Well, not a spring, but he's looking happier than he has recently. Stops at a random door and looks in Fozz- How ya goin', Bortha, missus left ya yet?...ah right...she has. Fozzy's face shows that he thinks for a few moments of some wise words to say. Fozz -...Righto. Catch ya then. ...ah well. Turning and continuing on his way, Fozz raises his eyebrows as if to say 'put me foot in me mouth there'. As he walks, Fozz looks to the camera and then up again, so he doesn't walk into anything - You're probably wonderin'...why is Fozz so happy today. Fair enough. You wanna know why? I'll tell ya why? Fozz stops in his tracks and looks right down the camera - Three words. Bar. Room. BRAWL!! On 'brawl' Fozz throws his arms out to the sides, fingers pointing, bit like Jeff Hardy used to but faster. Better. Doing so he bumps a fast walking Toby Bostock right in the face as he passes by. Toby - AHHH!!! Fozz - What? Aw, sorry, mate. Toby turns around very slowly, with arms locked in place - the classical 'you just spilt coffee all over me, look what you've done' pose. Fozz - Sorry, mate, you'll be right. Tough lad... Toby nods, cos Fozzy being nice has made him feel special. Fozz - Isn't that hot as? Hearing this Toby realises what's happened, he's drippin' with caffeine and that his skin is melting - AHHH!! It burns! Tobe runs off and Fozz watches him for a few seconds...cos its funny. Then he remembers what he's doing and looks back to the camera. Fozz - Where was I? Ah yeah, match in a bloody pub. Bonza. Fozz continues to walk as he was. Fozz - Great thing about pub matches is that there's no preperation. I'll be there before the match. The match starts. It ends, and then I don't have to go to the pub cos I'm already there. Absolutely rippin', mate. It's like a pub-marathon...I'll see if I can stay there all day, watch me. Fozz - And not only that, but I got the edge in a pub. Fozz stops walking again. This time its cos he's gotten to the end of a corridor. Funny how that never happens. Anyways, he turns around and starts walking the way he came. Cameraman (sounds like a superhero that takes photos) quickly rushes to get in front of Fozz so he can continue talking again. Fozz - Heh. Last pub match, I was against Raven from NIGW...Wightraven. People always tellin' me I say it wrong. Stuff 'im. Where's he at now? Probably retired, settled down in Texas... A passerby corrects Fozz, catching the last part of Fozz's promo. Fozz - Well, how the hell'm I sposed to know where the little bugger lives? Stuff me, think I stuffin' give a stuff? Bloody oath, lucky I'm doin' a promo or I'd mock ya some more, ya snot-faced bogan. Fozz shakes his head. Bloody...who they think I am? Fozzmeister General, that's who. Anyways. Last bar room brawl, I whoop-a-chang'd the little fella somethin' shockin', it's awesome cos we were throwin' darts round, smashin' tables, I was drinkin' beer, there's bottles...everythin'! Ya can do what ya bloody want, and they love it, cos they's gettin' free publicity. Pub's gettin' pub-licity. Ah? Yeah, he got it. Fozz points to a random passerby who might've been coicendentally smiling while he told that joke. Fozz - But it's always like that in a pub...gotta remember, that's how I got to be so damn good, fightin' in pubs. Jim's gonna be lookin' round for ring ropes, turnbuckles, whatever, and I'm in the natural habitat. That's where it come's in handy havin' no trainin' at all...its real fightin', its instinct. Jim obviously has that, bein' a wrestler, but it's different in a pub. If ya don't believe me, you'll see...and ya can get stuffed, cos since when have I made crap up? Fozz knocks on a random door and picks up the pace a bit...not cos he's scared, cos it be funnier. He so quirky and funny...although the camera pans around and we see it wasn't just a random door, it was that of Madison, not of Avenue origin, but of Lee. Fozz - That Maddy Lee...she's a bit clever. Hints at a Dual Crown match this week, but who knows. Everyone at home'll tune in the old idiot-box to see what happens on TNT now, I won't even bloody know til someone at the pub tells me so. Probably the ref. But Jim's got it comin', my oath, he does. Slippin' away, he's trippin', I tell ya, and everytime I'm gettin' closer to home. That could be taken two ways, people. Fozz tries not to smile too much, being all mysteriousy. Fozz - Jim hasn't never beaten me properly. In my opinion. Some will say that's biased, I'll say to them to rack off cos on the rare occasion Jim's pinned me there's been iffy circumstances...call it whining, call it excuses...whatever. Just watch. Fact of matter is that this week there's no grey areas, no rules, no holds barred - open slather, may the best man win. If I lose, I can't complain... It won't be easy. Nobody ever said it would be, but I think I've done pretty well in FIW. Fozz stops walking..not cos he's reached the other end again, but cos he's just about done. He'll let you know. Just as he's about to speak, Fozz pulls a dollar out of his pocket and gives it to the cameraman. Fozz - Whoever can walk backwards and film for that long without fallin' over deserves their own title, mate. Fozz takes a deep breath and looks into the camera again - So this week, peoples... Dual Crown title or not...win or lose...dead or alive...it'll be me last match on TNT. With that, Fozz bites his bottom lip, nods, and walks off, keeping eye contact with the camera for just a hanging moment until we fade to black. Is Fozz jumping to Slam? Is he taking a break? Was he just messing round? Is Fozz the new General Manager? Is that it? Is he injured? Did he come to conquer Uranus? Is Andre 3000 from Outkast gonna play Jimi Hendrix in that movie? Stay tuned, viewers. |
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7:09 PM Jul 11