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| Roll On; *hopes that wasn't last weeks title* | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 23 2005, 07:05 AM (81 Views) | |
| FozzyMc | Jan 23 2005, 07:05 AM Post #1 |
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The camera fades in onto Toby standing outside Fozzy's locker room, as he does. There's a slight slight sign of a coffee stain, from Fozzy's last promo. Toby - Ladies and gentlemen, I'm looking for an exclusive right here with Fozzy McQueen, just days after his, quote, "last match", unquote. Is the Fozzmeister General jumping to Slam!, is he retiring...is he dying?...We'll find out. Right. Now. If I'm lucky... Toby turns and just as he's about to knock on the door, the handle turns and the door swings open. Fozz looks between Toby and the camera- Heya...how ya goin'? Toby - Uh, well...I...Fozzy! Can I get an interview? Fozz looks at Tobe for a second - Yeah. I heard ya whiny voice from in me locker room, so...hey, does ya mum and dad know yer balls haven't dropped yet? Toby - Well, I'm...they have! My voice broke when I was, like, 17. So, yeah. Fozz grins and takes a drink from a can of VB we now see that he's been holding. Toby - Anyway...Fozzy, you said last week your match would be the last - you're still here on TNT, and you've been booked in a tag match this week...care to explain? Fozz - Ah. Few things there. First off, I was drunk. A bit. So I think it's pretty good that I got that promo out as rippin' as it was to begin with. Those words were probably mumbled up in me head as it was so speakin' 'em out loud, ya never know what you're gonna get. Some random rubbish. Toby - So you aren't leaving? Fozz takes a swig of VB- Not yet, mate. I'm bloody No.1 contender, Tobe. You'd have to be blotto in the barmy army to do somethin' that gay. Toby - Then you're happy on TNT? I been detecting a bit of...animosity. Fozz - Ani-what? Get stuffed, Tobe. You got your adjectives stuffed up, go back to primary school. Nah, but seriously, it's crap. I'm gettin' fed up, to be honest. Fed up with Jim sucking crap and holding my Dual Crown...and I hear other people sayin' that, Wiggum, whoever, but c'mon. Is there any debatin' who the real champ is? The one that should never've lost 'em to start with, the Fozzmeister General. Toby - You. Fozz - Yep. But I'm a bit harsh on Jim. He does suck monkey balls but last week he did good. Apart from the fact that he WALKED OFF! Halfway through a match, what's the go? Technically the match is still goin', I should go find the stupid bogan and drag the drongo back to the pub for a real go. Toby - It seemed like Jim had you beat. Fozz - He might've, so why didn't he beat me? Where's the pin? Course I wasn't movin' after that powerbomb but that doesn't mean I wouldn't find it in me to kick out - even if he picked me up and chucked me round for another five minutes, I coulda got back into it. Toby - Not likely though. Fozz - Oi... ...that hurts, Tobe. Have you forgotten who the bloody hell I am? Toby - Sorry, it's just that...- Fozz - Just that, it is 'just that', isn't it? Toby - Um.. Fozz - Yeah, thought so. Fact is, I didn't win. Forget whether I lost or not, not important. I'll roll on with me head held high, cos that's what ya do. Ya go down, get back up again. Doesn't happen to me much, but bloody oath, I got a DC match to look forward to. And a tag match with the legendary Silent Rage. He doesn't wanna tag with me, stuff 'im, I betcha he really does. Best of both worlds, right there, Rage and Fozz. Jim will pack his dacks, I'm tellin' ya right now. Toby - Pack his dacks? Fozz - Crap his pants. He's gonna "freak out". He hates Rage, and he was spewin' when I got no.1 contender - fair dinkum, he will not be happy. Cos he knows he's got no chance. Forget whatever he said in his promo, he's dreamin'. Tell 'im e's dreamin'. Toby - I...might. Fozz shakes his can, realising there's nothing left. As he turns to return to his locker room, he stops as if he's just remembered something Fozz - And Bradleygod. Brad. Bazzwald. What's he ever done? FSC. Whoopdy-freakin-doo. Ladi-freakin-dah. Whippet had that once, may as well dig up his pathetic carcass and throw 'im in the match, he's buddies with Jim. But Brad, what's he doin' in this match? This is DC level, not the peewee bloody 'not good enough for DC' level. Toby - So you don't think Brad's up to scratch? Fozz - Mate, it's not even a thought in my mind. Brad couldn't hold a sock up to Rage or me. Or he could, but I just wouldn't notice if he did cos I'd be too busy bein' better. Unless it was one of Jim's socks, cos I been in his locker room and they are rank, they stink somethin' shockin'. But Brad, he just a bloody wannabe toughguy with a foul mouth. Watch, I'll smack him up and rattle his brains into gear this week if I get the chance. Toby - We'll wait and see. Fozz - We bloody will. Fozz turns and drops his empty beer can through the slightly ajar door, just inside his locker room. Fozz wipes his nose and looks at Toby - Right, so you got what you want? Toby - Yes, thankyou for your time. Fozz smiles before snatching the mic from Toby and booting him out of the picture - Catch ya later. Turning to the camera, Fozz pulls the mic out in front of him. Fozz - Listen up, dipsticks, and note, I'm talkin' to you, Jim, and you, Brad, if you're out there, what I know you are. Actually, I'm not talkin' to Brad, you can get stuffed, go to a street corner and mouth off at random passerby's in your un-Christian manner, as ya do. Jim, you know time is runnin' out. Sooner or later I'm gettin' my title shot, and then you'll have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I won't stuff around like I did in the pub, I'll take you right down, mate, down in flames. Until then, do yer best not to look and act like a pussy...it must be hard being 6'7" and 300 scary pounds, but somehow you manage to pull it off with flyin' colours. Fozz takes a step closer to the camera with a Fozzy grin on his face - Fair dinkum...I dunno how much longer I can pay you out Jim, I'm runnin' outta crap to say. But as long as you're a knob-eyed stupid bogan I'll always have somethin' to work with. Until next time, this is Fozzy McQueen, signin' off. I'll see you yobbos later. Fozz throws the mic over his shoulder and gives a big Foley-style double thumbs up as we slowly fade out. Toby - Hey, careful, that mic comes out of my wages! Dang you, Fozzy! |
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7:07 PM Jul 11