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| Nacho, Nacho Man...; ...I want to be, a nacho man. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 10 2005, 06:41 PM (70 Views) | |
| Wigumoto | Feb 10 2005, 06:41 PM Post #1 |
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NPC
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The hallowed halls of the Richmond Coliseum open up before us, long, winding and painted that oh so familiar generic white #52. Down one of these corridors strolls Chris Maclay, casually clothed and carrying a small tray filled with nachos and cheesy dip, and quietly singing “Nacho, Nacho man” to himself as he goes on his merry way. On his travels he discovers the writhing body of a man in pain, his hands trying to hold his balls in place. Our hero seems worried for the man’s health at first, but soon realises that he’s a cameraman and is therefore not worth the time and money needed to repair him, when one could simply go down to the storage room and get another one, maybe steels some pens and staples while you’re down there. Still, Maclay can’t stand to see another person in pain, and so attempts to keep on walking, though the cries from the man pause him momentarily. Cameraman: Please…I need medical attention. Maclay: Yes, yes you do. And so he carries on, happily munching on his cheesy nachos as he tries to put that whole, horrible experience of that poor wounded man behind him. Though the horrors of humanity have not finished unveiling themselves to the former, former Dual Crown Champion as he looks down the length of the corridor and spots…Toby Bostock *Gasp!* He bounds gleefully toward Maclay who braces himself for the incoming flux of idiocy and stupid questions, but Toby makes a fatal error, for he fails to spot the cleverly hidden trap laid out before him. The unsuspecting interviewer steps onto a seemingly average pile of leaves and twigs that give way beneath him and he disappears into a man sized, man hole…for men. Maclay shrugs, his brush with stupidity halted by an unknown benefactor. He questions it not and carries on, edging past the Toby trap until he finds solid ground again, though he doesn’t get far before a familiar face lunges out from a nearby janitors closet and shoves a microphone all up in his grill. Katie: INTERVIEW! Maclay pauses in his tracks, taken back by this sudden outburst, cheese dripping from his triangle chip to the tiled floor below. Maclay: Katie, long time no see. Didn’t Swytch eat you or something? Katie: Not exactly. I’ve been back for a long time but people tend to go to Toby for their interviews, or Mark, or Victoria, but not any more, I’ve dealt with them, oh yes I have. The maniacal spark in Katie’s eye causes Maclay to actively not question what “dealt with” means, judging by Toby’s fate he can frankly guess, and so concedes to the interviewing process. Katie: So, you lost last week, that must suck. Does it suck? It sucks doesn’t it? Maclay: I didn’t lose last week, Katie, I think you’ll find that was his Hypeness. He was the one took a pinning, not me. Frankly, I had everything under control. Katie: Why did I know you’d say that? Maclay furrows his brow, indicating his displeasure at Katie’s response and suggesting she should move on to the next question. All that conveyed with the furrowing of a brow, what a man he is. Katie: Well Hype aside, you’ve got yourself another tag team match this week. Teaming with Jim you’ll take on Silent Rage and the one they call Vinj. Macaly: Who’s they? Katie: Them. She points to a small group of people standing off to the side. They wave politely before the camera swings back, Maclay looking on confused but returning the wave nonetheless. Katie: So, thoughts on the match? Maclay turns his attention back from “them” and focuses back on the lovely Katie. Maclay: It’s pointless. Maddy wants me in action this week? Put me up against Kane, let me get some retribution for him adding another loss to my scorecard last week. Or give me Kennedy, or Max. Let me beat them on my own without someone getting in my way. But Silent Rage? Vinj? Who cares about them? Why should I waste my time and energy fighting people who have barely registered on my radar these past few months? Katie: What about Jim? Thoughts on your tag team partner? Maclay dips one of his nachos into the cheesy, cheesy sauce and takes a bite, spewing bits of chip and dip onto Katie’s blouse as he talks. Maclay: Well, Katie, he’s a big boy now, I think he can handle Bill and Ted by himself. Katie: You mean Vinj and Rage? Maclay: Yeah, them. You have cheese on your boobs. He points to the dip that he so unceremoniously spattered over Katie’s dress. She acknowledges it with a disgruntled groan and wipes it off. Katie: So you’re obviously not overly concerned about your opponents? Maclay: I ask myself this; how does this match effect me? Do I get revenge on Hype? No. Do I get another chance at Kenn and Max Colon? No. So whatever. Katie: I see, well… Katie trails off as something behind Maclay catches her eye. The Essex beast follows her line of sight and spots intrepid interviewer Toby Bostock hauling himself out of the man trap. As he turns back he notices Katie backing up, anger broiling up on her face before she turns and legs it in the opposite direction. A confused Maclay turns back round and finds Toby out of the whole and jogging over to him. Toby: Where did she go? I’ll kill the little minx. Maclay points a cheese covered nacho back in the direction from whence Toby came and the little firebrand heads off in search of his prey, only to fall back into the hole he had just escaped from. Macaly smiles, depositing the chip into his beard lined mouth before wondering off. Scene. |
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7:07 PM Jul 11