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Of repetition; and a meatball sandwich
Topic Started: Feb 13 2005, 09:58 PM (56 Views)
Brad
Unregistered

‘“You and me again, fat boy”

Guess what kiddies. That’s right, we’re fading in on Bradley Johnson for a promo. And this week, as opposed to the locker room, he’s sat at a booth in a restaurant. A quick glance over his shoulder shows us that it is in fact Subway where he is. That, and the foot-long meatball sandwich in front of him

Johnson: They say that things get easier through repetition. So, by that logic, it should be easier and easier for me to be stuck against you every week. I believe that this is the third time in four weeks that you and I have met in that ring. But, the first one-on-one.

He pauses to take a big bite out of his sandwich

Johnson: To be honest, it doesn’t get easier to accept that they think you’re in my league. I get more and more incredulous as the weeks go by, if truth be told. You’re not up to my standard. You’re not in my league. Hell, you’re not even in the same sport.

He takes a moment to wipe some of that gorgeous tomato sauce from his chin. Maybe I sound like Wighty here, but I have a craving for a Subway Sandwich right now. I’ll stop, or he’ll accuse me of ripping him off

Johnson: Point is Brighty, you’re some guy who came up from the minors, and couldn’t hack it in the big league. You’re English, just like me, so I’ll take an example close to home.

Another bite from that big sandwich

Johnson: Jonathan Stead. According to some sources, the next Alan Shearer. Scored twenty-three goals in League Two, called Division Three at the time, for Huddersfield, between August and January. Went to Blackburn, a Premiership side. After a good start, he’s shown to us all that he really can’t cut it at the top level. Kid got yanked out of his depth way too early, and it may be damaging to his career as a whole. I feel sorry for the guy.

He chews thoughtfully on a bit of cheddar

Johnson: But it’s an interesting parallel. I mean, take a look at yourself. Two-time World Heavyweight Champion on Slam!, the minor league. You were the next big thing, Slam’s very own Fozzy McQueen. Took the step-up to Tuesday Night Throwdown. After an impressive start, straight into the Dual Crown picture, straight in at the deep end, what have you done? Not a great deal. You’ve petered out, you can’t hack it. Just like Jonathan Stead. You’re not up to it Brighty. Hell, you might even end up going all the way like Stead and get replaced by a little Scotsman, ‘cause I hear Dez is on Rising at the moment.

He laughs, and takes another bite out of the sandwich. It’s about half gone now. He takes big bites

Johnson: Anywaysh…

He pauses mid-sentence to swallow a bit more sandwich that didn’t go down with the rest

Johnson: Sorry about that. These things are good, by the way. You should try them. More filling than KFC, much tastier, and much healthier. Subway Sandwiches are the future.

He smiles

Johnson: Anyways, you and me again this week. One on one for the first time, against each other for the third time in a month. This sound repetitive? Because Johnson vs Brighty is starting to get repetitive. So, big man, let’s wrap it up, huh? I’m sick of having to face your worthless hide. And I’m pretty sure you’re sick of losing, which has happened to you in both of our last two encounters. So this is it, I hope. I put you down one more time, and then we’re through. No hard feelings, it’s entirely down to Madison Lee’s lack of imagination that we keep bumping into each other. This one last match, and then we move on with our lives. I won’t bear any grudges for your disgusting, gluttonous form getting in my way, and I hope that you won’t hold any against me for putting yet another beating on you. So I’ll see you Tuesday. Hopefully for the last time.

With that, Johnson’s full attention turns to his sandwich, and the screen fades to black
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