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Dan's Mindless Ramblings; I mean, Vinj's. Mindless Ramblings. Heh.
Topic Started: Feb 19 2005, 03:01 AM (46 Views)
Flannel Dude
Unregistered

????: -questions...hmm.

We cut in on a conversation belonging to that of one Toby Bostock. Toby is sat in what would seem to be a cafeteria; the steam, clutterings and badgering of orders from the kitchen being drowned out by distance in the background. But the camera quikly shifts from Toby towards the loud shouting that seems to be coming from...Vinj, who has put it upon himself to make a rather loud entrance through the two swinging planks of wood; acting as kind of magical passageway allowing for trasnportation from one area of space into another.

Vinj: BEHOLD, villagers of yore! For it is I; The Vinj. Watch me as I walk to yon rectangular space of invisibility adhering to yon buffet.

Somewhere between a second Vinj confuses ‘ye old English’ with ‘the ol’ west’; staggering towards the empty cafeteria buffet line with hands glued to his non-existent buckle, elbows out to kingdom-come and an invisible crate below the space of his groin. Once he’s at the buffet line a scraggily stereotypical cafeteria lady begins to grunt words together to form a sentence

Cafeteria Lady: Wha’eh’wan’?

Vinj: Bring thineself two of every animal, well turned on a pine spit lacquered with the grease from a baboon’s arrrse.

Yeah, I’m lost too. Just bare with me.

Cafeteria Lady: So the-

The lady proceeds to cough her lungs out, as well as a large portion of the mucous surrounding them.

Cafeteria Lady: Sorry, hun. So the house special then?

Vinj: That’ll do too.

The lady then shouts at the top of her ‘empty chest cavity’ the orders for Vinj’s meal.

Cafeteria Lady: That’ll be six-fifty.

Vinj pokes his tongue out a digs his hand into his pocket. Cos you can’t search hard for something unless you have your tongue out. It just doesn’t work. Vinj brings a fist out of his pocket and rattles a bunch of coins and notes onto the table. All in all, we see about seven bucks on the table.

Vinj: That enough?

Cafeteria: It's a little short, but I'm a compassionate gal.

The cafeteria lady proceeds to put the 6.50 into the register and then pockets the fifty cents. Cos fifty cents is a lot of money for a woman who's on minimum wage...I assume.

After a moment or two of dead air, Vinj tries to make some conversation.

Vinj: So while we’re on the subject, think about this: is it possible to be in a line, if the line is empty? Cos, ya know, a line is a line cos there’s a line…there. Making the observation of an empty line is the equivalent of saying something like, ‘Hey. Look at that non-existent gathering of people.’ It’s ridiculous. But, hey, I guess that's just our nature, ay? We're a crazy lot, us humans. Eh? Yeah, see, he got it. *Vinj points to a non-existant person in the background*

The cafeteria lady begins to ponder Vinj’s deep scrutiny of one of man’s many idiosyncrasies for all of but one second and then leaves to get his food from the kitchen peephole. Within the next moment a tray of random assortments of meats drowned with gravy and mashed potatoes is thrust under Vinj’s face. Vinj sniffs the steam up through his nose, making sure he gathers every flavour and scent it excretes.

Vinj: Mm-m-m-m, gravy.

Vinj then takes his tea tray and spots a spare seat next to his bestest buddy-correction, only buddy-Toby Bostock. Vinj drops his plate with a plastic thud, consequently flicking some gravy onto Toby’s face.

Vinj: Hey, Tobes! Whatchya doing?

Toby wipes the spatter of gravy off his face, not exactly pleased that he has to endure Vinj’s long-winded ramblings while he’s working.

Toby: I’m working, actually.

Vinj: Ohhhh. I see.

Toby gives a polite nod, and Vinj, who seems to have gotten the message, shifts a few inches away to give Toby some privacy. But that’s rather boring, isn’t it? So Vinj begins eating his meal for a few seconds until he’s given adequate time to forget what Toby said and he shuffles right back towards Toby.

Vinj: So the other day right, I was walking down the corridors and I saw this-

Toby: Vinj, please. I’m working.

Vinj: Ah, that’s right. So what are you working on?

Toby: Some questions.

Vinj: Who for? Me? Cos I could help you out with that. You could ask me, like, how it feels to’ve beaten Maclay, AGAIN.

Vinj laughs. He’s a funny bloke.

Vinj: Ahhh. Yeah, that’s good stuff. Or, you could ask me-

Toby: You do realise that you beat the Dual Crown Champion, don’t you?

Vinj: Hm? Oh, yeah, that too. I’m not really fussed about Champions and Championships or what not. I’m just here to wrestle, ya know?

Toby nods, not really concentrating on Vinj, rather on the empty piece of in front of him.

Vinj: So, who’s it for?

Toby: Bill, actually. Just wanna get a jist of this whole Tie-I mean, just to get his thoughts on his match.

Toby stops half way through Tier’s name, well-aware of Vinj’s history with him and what kinda crazies he’d pull out if he knew he was around TNT again.

Vinj: Ah. Well, you could ask him about this weeks match. Like, how he feels going up against-VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINJ! Cos he’s defeated four of FIW’s biggest champs. Brighty, Jim, Maclay and Tier. Impressive, ay?

Toby: Quite.

Vinj: And he’s also got dibs on Bradley Johnson, the current Dual Crown No.1 Contender, and on our Ultimate Endurance Champion. Well, we’re even at the moment, but I could beat him again if I wanted to.

Toby begins scribbling down some words on his piece of paper, whether they’re related to Vinj’s ideas is unknown.

Vinj, with a mouthful: Yah, write those down. They’re good ones.

Toby: Anything else?

Toby continues to write as he speaks, realising it’s more profitable to entertain Vinj than to ignore him.

Vinj: Umm...hmm...I don’t know much about him, really. I don’t really keep up with what everyone’s doing these days. What with my franchise and all. Channel V is booming. I got shares and everythin’ now. You wanna buy some? They’re a dollar each.

Toby: Sure, why not.

Vinj then begins to dig into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled up shareholders certificate.

Vinj: How many should I put ya down for then?

Toby is taken a little off guard; not really having any intention to pay for a share in the business, rather than to quiet Vinj down.

Toby: Uhh...ummm...three.

Vinj: Three? Awesome.

Vinj then scribbles a number ‘3’ along the dotted line of the certificate and then, rather excitedly, waggles the paper in his face.

Vinj: Now you have to give me three dollars.

Toby takes the certificate away from his face and slaps down onto the table. Toby then begins to mine through his pockets, his tongue wriggling as one does, and pulls a fist full of coins. Toby then begins to separate the coins to make up three even dollars. He’s an honest dude.

Toby: There ya go.

Vinj: So that’s three dollars?

Toby nods.

Vinj: Yeah, I’ll take your word for it. I really should try to learn the currency over here, though.

Toby: It’d be handy.

Vinj: Yeah...oh, sorry, you wanted questions.

Toby gives no response and continues to scratch his pen against his pad.

Vinj: You could ask him what’s up with that Sam chick. I reckon she’s got him under some spell or somethin’. She’s not that pretty. And she’s a nut. Who wants to go out with an ugly nut?

Toby begins to hop out of his seat

Toby: Yes. Well, I think I’ve got enough questions. I’m off. Thanks for the help, dude.

Vinj: No probs mate. I’m good at this sorta thing. Got my own show and all for this kinda stuff. Hey, how come you don’t have your own show?

Toby glares at the cafeteria door, the glare being intended for Vinj, and walks out silently with his dignity in tact.

Vinj: Hey, dude, how come? DUDE! HOW COME! HEY! TOBY!

Toby: VINJ! Shut up!

Vinj: See, he obviously can’t here me. SEEYA MATE!

Toby: Ugh.

Fade to black.
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