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Insane Troll Logic
Topic Started: Mar 4 2005, 02:50 PM (42 Views)
Wigumoto
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NPC
[ *  *  *  * ]
Deep in the heart of Mechico City we find the Palacio de los Deportes, all decked out in the blues of Tuesday Night Throwdown as the city prepares it’s self for an FIW invasion. Within the arena we find the number one contender for the Dual Crown Championship, a former holder of that very title, Chris Maclay. He walks confidently through the halls of the Palacio, an air of frustration and anger emanating from him as he bounds along. Given his apparent demeanour, it’s probably not a good time to be interviewing him or bugging him with questions, so here comes Toby. Ever present at exactly the wrong time, Bostock bounds in with his usual mixture of misplaced joy and moronic ineptitude.

Toby: Chris! Interview?

Maclay: I see your grasp of the English language is improving. Where’s Katie? I haven’t seen her in a few weeks.

Toby: She’s…busy.

An evil smile crosses the muzzle of the young interviewer, provoking an inquisitive eyebrow raise from Maclay. He decides not to question what exactly she’s “busy” with and instead presses on with the interview.

Maclay: What did you want?

Toby: I just wanted her to love me is all, but she wou --

Maclay: What did you want to know? Interview wise.

Toby: Oh! Oh of course. Forget that other thing, I was joking. I’m a crazy joker.

He laughs to put across his point, though Maclay is far from convinced. Disturbed a little, but not convinced.

Toby: So, this week you finally get your shot at the DC, but for some reason you seem kinda pissed. What’s up with that?

Maclay: What do you mean “what’s up with that”!? What do you think’s up with that? Have you seen the match I’m in? Chris Maclay versus Jim O’Brien…versus Vinj, versus Hype. What the hell is that? Two weeks ago I won an open contendership match and by doing so I procured myself a shot at the Dual Crown Championship.

Toby: Well that’s what you got.

Maclay stops in his stride, looking a little shocked and appalled at the young interviewer.

Maclay: Oh no. Oh no, no, no. You didn’t just interrupt me did you, Shirley? ’Cos that’s not a good idea given the mood I’m in. So help me god I’ll take away your phone privileges, I will, I’ll do it, and then you won’t be able to stay up all night chatting to your friends about boys. You don’t want that now do you, Shirley?

Toby: Actually I wouldn’t mind a break from listening to Mark go on and on about his latest boyfriend. I swear, he goes through men like their socks. Wears ‘em out and then casts them aside, he’ll never find happiness that way.

Toby sighs forlornly at the state of his friends love life, while Maclay simply looks on bewildered.

Maclay: I can’t believe you’re still talking. Are you quite done with your stroll down estrogen lane?

Toby nods awkwardly and the two take to walking again.

Maclay: Tell me this, Laverne, why in the name of all that is nutty and chewy does Carlos “The Dyke” Kane get himself a shot? Do I have to remind you who I beat in that contendership match? Whose shoulders I pinned to the mat? I beat Kane, I beat his ass good and I pinned him down for the onos, dos, tres, so why is he in my match?

Toby shrugs as he searches his mind for an answer, but then almost leaps out of skin as he figures one out.

Toby: Ah-ha! ‘Cos Vinj is in the match, and Hype beat Vinj, so that means he should get a shot too.

He nods to affirm his little statement, happy with his explanation as Maclay smiles down at him like a proud father, albeit dripping with sarcasm.

Maclay: Well done, Janey, you get a gold star you little over achiever you. I’m so proud of you, come here and give me a hug. Come one, let’s break down some walls.

Toby hesitates, backing away and holding his arms up as Maclay moves in closer, encouraging the young interviewer to come in for a big o’l hug. Eventually Toby gives in, a big smile spreading across his face as he reaches out to wrap his arms around the big man, only for him to pull back and look at him with disgust.

Maclay: Oh please, did you really think…? Listen, Matilda, your little explanation misses out one important fact. Why the frak is Vinj in the match?

Toby: ‘Cos…he pinned Jim?

Maclay: Oh, oh he pinned Jim, well who bloody hasn’t!? What kind of logic is that? Let’s throw in everyone who ever pinned Jim shall we, and then everybody who ever pinned everyone who ever pinned Jim. And then everybody who ever pinned them until the only people left backstage are you and Scruffy the janitor. It’s bullshit. I earned my title shot. I earned it dammit! Hell, I frickin’ beat Hype for it, and yet he still manages to wriggle his way into my match. This should have been me versus Jim, one on one, mano a mano. Well you know what, Trisha? Vinj and Hype? They don’t deserve to be in this match, and when Tuesday rolls around and were facing each other across the ring, I’m gonna show them exactly why they don’t deserve to be in that match.

With that said, Maclay begins to walk backwards off camera, his eyes still set on Bostock as he stands there watching.

Maclay: I’m walking out with the title. I earned it. I freakin’ earned it.

His voice fades a little as he passes out of range of the camera’s microphone and we’re left with the depressing image of Toby Bostock, looking off into the distance as the screen fades to black.
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