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| As hungry as a bear...; And twice as hairy | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 12 2005, 01:34 PM (41 Views) | |
| Glen | Mar 12 2005, 01:34 PM Post #1 |
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*We fade in to show Ultimate Endurance Championship #1 contender and the one true Essex Beast, Brighty, standing next to Toby Bostock in front of one of those cardboard TNT logo things. Once again neither is aware of the fact they are now shooting and are talking about something completely irrelevant…* Brighty: … it was only then we saw it woz ‘angin’ out and even winkin’ at us! I tell ya mate, Best. Funeral. Ever. *Both men laugh uncontrollably, like they used to at the end of every Thundercats episode, (Ahh... *singing* memories, like the corners of my mind) before being [insert monkey noise here] by the camera monkey telling them they are on* Brighty: You wot mate!? Bostock: Err… yes… ok. So Brighty thank you for joining me for another interview, two weeks in a row. You must be doing something right. Brighty: Bloody amazin’ innit? The guv’ must realise here’s where the real ratings are at. *Brighty places both hands on his belly and shakes it violently, sending a ripple effect around his entire upper body. Used to be his in-ring taunt you know, back in the VWF and NWW days, I guess being a FIW World Heavyweight champion changes a man…* Bostock: Quite. After last weeks triumph over Bradley Johnson you became #1 contender for the Ultimate Endurance championship, a title that the awesome Swytch currently wears around his waist, are you looking forward to that particular match? Brighty: ‘ell yeah I am Tobe. That’s wot every bloke here dreams of, title matches, well that and Maddy and Kennedy lezzin’ up. Know wot I’m sayin’ Tobe, huh? Do ya’? *Brighty playfully prods Bostock in the chest whilst saying this, an action that seems to inflict some pain on the incompetent fool* Bostock: Yeah, I err mean no, no! Brighty: Bollocks mate, I seen ya’ pervin’ and ‘angin’ round the girls’ changing rooms. Bostock: … Brighty: Ya’ wanna change the subject mate? (Nod from Bostock) K, what’s next? Bostock: This week you are up against Bill Kuriyama a man who has beaten former Dual Crown championship contenders in the past. He’s a formidable opponent and claims to have no worries about grappling a man of your… stature. Brighty: Pfft… Bill the half a champ? I’m more scared of Eric the half a bee. Seriously Tobe this bloke is all talk, livin’ in the past (In a voice mocking that of his opponent) I’ve beaten this person his was this good, I beat that person by this much, this bloke was this contender and that contender (Back to normal now) Balls. You’d never see a bloke me, a two time FIW World Heavyweight Champion, Slam! Superstar of the Year 2003, MBOTY 2004 Semi-finalist, living on past glories, it just aint the way things are done. Bostock: So you’re confident of your second victory in a row then? Brighty: You knows it Tobe. Billy Curryama may claim to ‘ave lifted weights like mine every day in training but I bet none’a them ‘ave crushed ‘is shaved little girly chest. Bostock: It’s actually pronounced Kuriyama. Brighty: Whatever Tobe, ol’ Curry boy aint got no ‘ope, and that greased chickin’ body comment ‘as just pissed me off even more. (Brighty looks to camera) You wanna play with the big boys Willy? Well you’re goin’ one-on-one wiv the biggest so ya better step it up a notch yea? All that training n’ crap you do? Step it up coz you aint fought no one like me before. Your smacktalkin’? Step it up co I’ve got the gift of the gab, just ask the laydeez and… err… your eating, yeah that’s a good’n, step that up coz… (Brighty pats his ample girth) yeah, I’ve got all that! *Brighty blows a kiss and shoots a wink down camera as it slowly fades out* Brighty: And another thing… [align=center]#SCENE FADE#[/align] |
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7:06 PM Jul 11
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7:06 PM Jul 11