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Kuretort; Like a Kuriyama Retort. Get it?
Topic Started: Mar 12 2005, 09:04 PM (39 Views)
Minister Wighty
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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We see Bill, sitting on the training ring apron next to Victor, who is working on what appears to be his fifth box of McDonald's chicken selects. He's good coating of chipotle BBQ sauce on his fingers from all the dippin', which he sucks off with extra noise.

BK: Things have been difficult lately. And y'know what? Brighty's right.

Did Bill just admit he was wrong? That's... that's not something that happens too often.

BK: All I've been doing is clinging to past glories. I need to forge me some new ones. But y'know, as much as my in-ring skills are shiny and fabulous, I find it hard to cut a promo these days.

I'd have Bill go into detail about how a promo could effect his match in-character, but I have no clue how to go about it. You know how it works out of character. So this is kinda like a neat sorta in-character-out-of-character-both-at-the-same-time thing.

BK: I don't wanna make excuses, but ever since I've gotten in touch with my real self it's been hard to stand in front of the camera and say shit like "Bill Kuriyama's gonna whup this jacknob's ass" when I don't feel it. And unlike Blink 182, I ain't feelin' this.

Bill pushes off the apron, leaving Victor to his chicken and BBQ. He starts to take a short walk about the gym.


BK: So, y'know, Bill Kuriyama can't get into the promo, how's he supposed to get in the match? I know I'm gonna school Brighty's ass like clappin' two chalkboard erasers together, this I'm sure of. But man, I don't have any motivation! Besides putting another notch on the ol' Belt of Victory and giving a certain Englishman a hard-on, what's me pinning Brighty gonna do? What's it prove? That I'm the man? That I'm the best? That's been done before. It's in the past. So here's what Bill Kuriyama's gonna prove. I'm gonna make Brighty... UEC contender, former DC contender... tap out. Bill Kuriyama might not know much about submission maneuvers, but a sleeper hold ain't hard to execute. And I'm gonna execute the tubba lubba lard-ass with that exact move.

Bill crosses a vertical arm across a horizontal one, either giving Brighty the old "up yours" or miming a sleeper hold.

BK: Feelin' drowsy?

Fade.
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