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Are We There Yet?
Topic Started: Mar 19 2005, 11:40 AM (37 Views)
Glen
Unregistered

Brighty: How come I’m always bloody travelling with you in taxis?

Bostock: Just lucky I guess…

*Winner of two matches in two weeks and #1 UEC contender Brighty is shown sitting, in a cab, with the only interviewer he knows, Toby Bostock. The cab’s nothing special just your bog-standard type, foreign driver, dirty seats, faint smell of piss etc. Brighty is leaning on the door staring out at the scenery of whatever part of America Kentucky is in, Toby is flicking through his notes ready for an interview. He looks up to finish his statement…*

Bostock: … besides, at least this interview wont be the same as countless others we’ve done recently.

Brighty: Furry muff, fire away.

Bostock: Let’s start with last week shall we?

Brighty:

Bostock: Shall we?

Brighty: Huh? Didn’t we do this joke 2 weeks ago?

Bostock: Last week you beat rising star Bill Kuriyama in a closely fought match, a victory he didn’t seem to take too well…

Brighty: I told ‘im ‘e was playin’ with the big boys now, and I think ‘is ribs could tell ya exactly ‘ow big!

*Brighty laughs to himself, he funny*

Bostock: He took it so badly he nearly physically assaulted Miss Lee in requesting a re-match. Tier may have improved his in-ring attitude but it also seems part of his mentors aggressive backstage moods seems to have rubbed off on Bill too.

Brighty: Yep I saw, nutter innie? Whatever ‘appened to the days when blokes would call out people for re-matches? ‘Tis a lost art in my opinion.

Driver: I think it is more exciting like this sir.

*Brighty draws his attention from the window to face front to the, thus far, silent driver. Oh, yeah, Toby does likewise*

Brighty: You wot mate?

Bostock: If you’re trying to get royalties from appearing in the promo think again, it’s not happening.

*After the short, somewhat pointless, interjection from the driver Brighty turns back to the window, hoping that this boring journey will come to an end before Toby bloody Bostock asks him another inane question. Too late…*

Bostock: Whatever Bill’s technique it worked. Miss Lee booked the re-match but with the added ingredient of Sam Kinloch, a close… err… friend of Bill.

Brighty: Good luck to ‘em, if Bill the half a champ is that good ‘ow come ‘is bird ‘as to ‘elp ‘im? Huh? Answer me that Tobe-y boy.

Bostock: This match is of course billed as a handicap but the only handicap is that there is two of them, the combined weight of them both is 370lbs, a full 10 less than yourself surely that will play into your hands, as it does every match you are in?

Brighty: Well ya know Tobe I try me best. The blokes I’m up against need all the ‘elp they can get, fightin’ a bulk like me takes a special kind of trainin’

Bostock: Wasn’t he once a wrestler on Slam!?

Brighty: ‘oo?

Bostock: The Bulk.

Brighty: I don’t remember ‘im.

Bostock: Neither does anyone on Slam!!

[Two drums and a symbol]

Bostock: Rumour has it that Bill has asked Sam to sit this one out, spend the entire fight on the apron effectively making this a one-on-one.

Brighty: After I kicked ‘is skinny arse last time? Pfft… no chance mate, no chance.

Bostock: What is that supposed to mean? No chance of what? You really need to be more in depth with your answers and would it kill you to pronounce the beginning and ends of some words?

*Somewhat taken aback by this uncharacteristic outburst Brighty turns and looks Toby full on in the face…*

Brighty: Your givin’ me promo tips? Tobe, mate, you couldn’t promo your way outta a paper bag… even if you had the idiots guide to promos, a subliminal promo doin’ technique tape, a script of promos from all of FIW's champions and the best 10 promo writers that ever lived!

*At this moment of obvious high tension the driver interjects by putting in his favourite cassette, the not corny, not one little bit, song ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ blares (Ok more like squeezes) from the tiny speakers in the back. Brighty turns back to his window as does Toby, until he is caught unawares by Brighty’s flabby arms coming across him at the appropriate part of the chorus*

Brighty: Hur! Ha! Hur!

Bostock: What the… Aaah!

*Brighty and the driver burst out laughing as obviously Brighty was messing (or messin’) and the fact that Toby, being Toby, is now crouched up in one corner hiding under his clipboard*

Bostock: (After clearing his throat) Yes very funny guys, ha ha. Oi! you (Toby knocks on the Perspex) no music, you know what he can get like. If I hear another sound from you I’ll… I’ll…

Brighty: Stop the car!

*The taxi screeches to a halt as the driver pulls one of those emergency stop things you only ever do during a driving test. Brighty rolls out the car and moves to a sign by the side of the road. The so far unmentioned camera monkey climbs off the parcel shelf and follows the two time FIW World Heavyweight champion*

Bostock: (Obviously starting to spend too much time with the true Essex Beast) Where the bloody Hell is he going?

*Brighty is shown standing next to the road obscuring a road sign, his nose in the air and a huge cheesy grin across his face*

Bostock: What is it Brighty, what’s the problem.

Brighty: Shh! Can you smell it Tobe?

Bostock: I thought Bill was a rip off of The Rock?

Brighty: (More emphasis on the ‘h’ this time) Shhhhhhhh! Smell.

*Like the idiot that he is Toby smells the air*

Bostock: What am I smelling for Brighty, all I smell is the dirver.

Driver: Hey!

Brighty: Can’t ya smell it Tobe? My second home…

*Brighty moves to the side of the small sign so that it now becomes readable: ‘Welcome To Kentucky’, the Englishman proceeds to rip it from the ground*

Brighty: I’m ‘avin’ me a souvenir!

Bostock: Brighty you can’t…

*Too late, Brighty is already in the cab, with sign, speeding off leaving the bemused Toby and camera monkey by the roadside*

Bostock: Your turn to thumb a lift…

[align=center]#SCENE FADES#[/align]
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