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Setting: A Strip Club!; Lobo, Mark, Toby, a hardcore challenge
Topic Started: Mar 19 2005, 11:50 PM (55 Views)
BobPalindrome
Unregistered

[The scene opens in a busy, packed strip club in Louisville, Kentucky. Brightly colored lights flash over girls surprisingly better looking for this part of the country. Overbites are few and silicone is abundant. Barely clothed women serve the male patrons drinks as they observe the dancers stripping away their outfits. As the camera pans over this lively and debauched scene, we settle on El Lobo Loco, who is sipping on a Corona and admiring a Latin dancer who is paying him special attention. The luchador smiles underneath his mask, folding his arms and nodding his head to the beat of the electronic music.

From out of frame stumbles a familiar figure… None other than TNT interviewer Mark Devereaux. Dressed quite nicely, he’s by the far the cleanest and most dapper of any of the clientele. However, his expression is one of extreme discomfort, and he sneers at the stripteases.]


Mark: My God…! Of all the places for an interview! This place is wretched!

[El Lobo doesn’t take his attention away from his dancer as Mark pulls up a seat next to him, doing his best to put distance between himself and the mad gyrations of the entertainer. Lobo takes a quick gulp of beer as Mark taps him on the shoulder.]

Mark: Hey, look, Senor Lobo… It took me awhile to find this place…

Lobo: What, I told you by the highway! Are you stupido or something, amigo? Ah, it is no matter. I have been pleasantly distracted in my wait for you.

Mark: Well, I offered to do this interview in my hotel room…

Lobo: I heard you were funny, muchacho. It is not that El Lobo has anything against guys who are “funny.” It is simply I do not like having long conversations with “funny” men in private in their hotel room. Comprende?

Mark: W-What are you talking about?

Lobo: It is no matter. Just have a beer and at least pretend to enjoy the show, Mark. Your buddy here is.

[Lobo points to someone off-screen. Mark looks, does a double-take and lets his jaw drop a few centimeters. Into frame walks none other than Toby Bostock, holding a glass of something he’s sipping through a straw. On his other arm he has a rather buxom blonde woman with a frilly and very revealing outfit.]

Toby: This place is great, Lobo!

Lobo: Like a duck to water, this little vato. He tried to talk me into going to some kind of sit-in protest to get some show Firefly back on the air… Join some nerd terrorist group led by Joss Whedon… I don’t know…

Toby: This is much better! Here, you can pay girls to make them like you!

Mark: Toby, you little brat, you’re stealing my story!

Lobo: Actually, it’s already stolen. He got to me here first, so he’s got the right to interview the Half-Man, Half-Amazing High-Flying Daredevil, the Most Muy Macho Luchador in FIW… El Lobo Loco!

Mark: That’s quite a mouthful.

Lobo: Speaking of mouthfuls, have you met Theresa? Why don’t you and her take some time off while Toby and I do this interview?

[A rather comely woman walks into frame, with dark black hair and a slinky black dress. He motions to Mark with fingers gloved in black velvet, and Mark simply shrugs and follows her off-screen.]

Lobo: Take his seat, Toby, and let’s get started.

[Toby does so, his companion standing behind him and running her hands through his sandy hair.]

Toby: But Lobo… That woman had an Adam’s apple!

Lobo: El Lobo does not judge what Mark likes or dislikes. It is the 21st century!

Toby: Um, all right. So you have a match this Tuesday with Bradley Johnson, the most pure wrestler in FIW!

Lobo: By “pure,” what does he really mean? He means boring! So he thinks that he is truly gifted with the fundamentals of the sport? Well, what good are fundamentals when wrestling has evolved past all that? This is a new era, and Bradley Johnson is a relic of older times, when technical wrestling was the style. Now, it’s about risking your neck! It’s about putting everything on the line! It’s about daring to amaze while inflicting as much hurt on your opponent!

[Lobo lifts up the baggy white t-shirt he’s wearing and points to the numerous scars on his chest and stomach.]

Lobo: Do you see these? Do you think Bradley Johnson has any of these on his chiseled muscles? On his big, bald ugly head? No! Because he hasn’t paid his dues like I have. Because he hasn’t learned that the new style of wrestling is wanton violence and death-defying acrobatics. He belongs in a museum, so he can sit with the rest of history we want to forget about!

Toby: Bradley is a pretty well-established force in FIW… Do you really think you’re ready for him? Physically and mentally?

Lobo: Of course I am ready for him! I am the most desired and hot wrestler in the FIW right now! I have Kuriyama on the defense, fighting for his belt and his pride! I’ve destroyed Max Corona not once, but twice! Bradley Johnson is just the next rung I’ve got to climb until I’ve shown I’m the most intense wrestler in Full Intensity Wrestling!

Toby: It should be pointed out that Bradley does have the advantage of this being a normal singles match… You can’t help but wonder what would be the outcome if you faced him in a match with hardcore rules…

Lobo: Hey, that’s not a bad idea… I’ll tell you what… Bradley, mi amigo, listen up.

[El Lobo stares at the camera now, putting his focus fully on the camera. The dancer he was watching continues her act, vainly trying to regain his concentration.]

Lobo: I’ll meet you and fight you in a match favoring your style Tuesday. But after this match, why don’t we arrange another match, this time with rules favoring my style? Specifically, a match with no rules?

Toby: Well, Lobo, Slam! is really where FIW fans go to get their hardcore action…

Lobo: Are we not the best brand in FIW? Is not Throwdown the most dominant brand in the wrestling marketplace? Then, cabron, we should be able to have a hardcore match! What do you say, Bradley? Are you up for it? Or is the most “pure” wrestler in FIW a little too afraid to get his hands dirty?

[Toby’s stripper, who has been standing by, leans down and whispers something in Toby’s ear. His face turns ashen, but then he smiles awkwardly and turns to El Lobo.]

Toby: Excuse me, Lobo… Chelsea has something to show me in the Champagne Room…

[As Toby and his “friend” leave, Lobo laughs to himself, drinking his Corona and putting his feet up as he watches his dancer again. As we fade to black, we hear him speak one more time…]

Lobo: Who’s your papi?
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