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I've Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier
Topic Started: Mar 26 2005, 11:05 AM (38 Views)
Glen
Unregistered

*The scene opens in the dark, dingy, underground car park of the Bradley Centre. It’s the kind of place you would expect to find some kind of hermit or smelly bear… oh look, there’s Brighty. A high pitched whining noise and the appearance of the larger than life Englishman on his trusty KFC red moped tells the people who don’t read descriptions who this promo is by*

Brighty: Knew if I brought me ‘ped this week Tobe wouldn’t be able to ride along wimme.

*Brighty parks up his ‘mean machine’ in the mother and child bay, dismounts and starts to make his way toward the arena entrance*

Brighty: Wonder if there’s a Brighty Centre somewhere?

*The two time FIW World Heavyweight Champions thought train is disturbed by a second, more annoying, high-pitched noise. Round the corner comes none other than Brighty’s second stalker (Nightmare being the first) Toby Bostock on an old yellow moped which would have been outdated during the whole Mods and Rockers thing*

Brighty: (Hand on face in shock/annoyance/despair) Whayut tightuy fhstgrthd?

*Toby parks up next to where Brighty is standing*

Bostock: What was that?

Brighty: (Hand now removed) I said are you stalkin’ me or what Tobe?

*Toby begins to remove the multitude of protective armour around his body, his helmet, knee-pads, elbow pads, wrist pads, gloves, shin pads, box etc., as he gets straight into the interview, ever the professional our Toby*

Bostock: Of course not Brighty. Did you enjoy your victory last week? Not quite the match you expected I bet.

Brighty: Ya' reckon? [/sarcasm] It weren’t all good in the hood ya' know, I was up for a handicap match, not for a one-on-one wiv a bird ‘oos three times smaller than me.

Bostock: But you won though right, that’s all that should matter?

Brighty: Yea, but Tier Jr didn’t need ta' stick ‘is oar in did ‘e?

Bostock: I assume you mean Swytch by that comment.

Brighty: Did ya' see any other nutters wieldin’ chairs at the end of the match?

Bostock: It must be because of your upcoming Ultimate Endurance Championship match.

Brighty: You really are on top form today aint’cha mate? ‘ee’s tryin’ to put the frighteners on me, but it aint ‘appenin’, never will.

Bostock: So you’re confident you can walk away a champion at the PPV then?

Brighty: You what? The pay per view aint this week issit?

*The panicked look on Brighty’s face is apparent to everybody with half a brain cell. (This, of course, rules out half the audience)*

Bostock: Next week Brighty, next week.

Brighty: Don’t scare me like that! …

Bostock: Sorry Brighty I…

Brighty: …Pillock.

*A mixture of sadness and confusion crosses Toby’s face as he doesn’t quite understand whether Brighty just insulted him. (Short answer: Yes)*

Bostock: (Soon cheered up) This week Miss Lee has booked you in a match against Ultimate Endurance Champion Swytch.

Brighty: She ‘as? A one-on-one match a week before the PPV? Is the guv’ off ‘er rocker or wot?

Bostock: (Again, unsure as to the meaning of what was just said to him) I… don’t… know, but I didn’t say anything about a one-on-one, you will be teaming with Kennedy.

*A broad, cheesy grin spreads across the stubbled face of the… err… face*

Brighty: Top banana, Kenn’s a feisty little minx she’ll do a job. Tell me Tobe, tag partners still change and shower together right? (Brighty follows with a wink and a smile to camera)

Bostock: No.

Brighty: Bollocks. Well I’m sure Swytch aint too ‘appy about goin’ two-on-one.

*Toby, obviously annoyed at Brighty’s seeming lack of knowledge of the card, carries on explaining the details of the match*

Bostock: Swytch will have Carlos Kane on his team…

Brighty: ’oo? ‘e that rapper bloke I beat ages ago? No worries Tobey boy me and Kenn’ll take ‘em both on easy.

Bostock: … as well as Chris Maclay.

Brighty: Chrissy M’s in it n’all? What the bloody ‘ell is the guv’ tryin’ ta’ do ta’ me? 4 matches in a row, my second handicap in a row…

Bostock: Last week wasn’t a handicap match in the end…

Brighty: You what?! Wh… actually Tobe you’re right, what am I moanin’ about? I aint got no worries about Swytch, Carly I’ve beat before and as for Chrissy M? The true Essex beast is gonna triumph in that one!

Bostock: So is that you or him?

*Brighty shoots one of those looks as the simpleton interviewer*

Brighty: Am I likely to cut a promo for Chrissy M? ‘ee’s big enough and hairy enough to do it ‘imself, course I was on about me.

Bostock: Well that’s all my questions, how do you want to finish this promo?

Brighty: How 'bout like this?

*Brighty leans over the moped and plants and big, wet kiss on Toby’s surprised face*

Brighty: Did you have burgers for lunch?

[align=center]#SCENE FADE#[/align]
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