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Pretty please?!
Topic Started: Jun 18 2016, 07:55 AM (172 Views)
drewstevenson
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Rookie
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Hey everybody, I know that I don't have a lot going on here right now so my work isn't my best but if you don't mind: could I please get your thoughts on my work so far?

I appreciate whoever takes the time to do this and thank you.
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Dai
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Captain SPARKLE~!!!
Creative Team
I'm not really a fan of the first person narrative for a promo. It could be that it's just something I'm not really used to in an efed, but it seems to me to be the wrong tone to use when the person doing the narration is also doing all of the talking. I can go into detail, if you like, but I don't really want to come across like I'm trying to jump on your head straight off the bat.

Having said that, I think that the first person would be good for your character dealing with his everyday life. It's hard to make any real judgements about the character so far, as you've not really had much to work off from anyone else apart from the one tweet to/from Kim but it seems like a good start.
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drewstevenson
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Ironically, I have been debating on going back to the third person narrative style. Besides the narrative though, how was the promo work itself? That is my bread and butter, the actual talking portions of a role-play.
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MrOtaku2399
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FIW's Resident Otaku
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not meaning ro but in or anything but were you in AWA?
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drewstevenson
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I was, yes, but then had to take time off.
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MrOtaku2399
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FIW's Resident Otaku
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ok, i thought i knew you from somewhere ;)
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Lita Maivia
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Legend
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My interest is certainly piqued in the potential of this character here. Thus far the dialogue as been well written and it's just enough, without going overboard or feeling like anything is being left out.

Like Dai, though, I am not much a fan of the first-person narration. My only real issue with it is that it limits your ability to interact with others in joint promos or RPs. While it's still entirely possibly, if everyone else is writing third-person narration and you chime in on the same piece of work with first-person narration then it will totally make the promos feel disjointed.
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