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ReVolt Against The Champions XXIX Feedback
Topic Started: Aug 23 2016, 10:31 PM (348 Views)
Craig
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Scope
[ *  *  *  * ]
Matches: Craig & Lita
Promos: Craig, Wight, Dai, Lita & Crystal

Crazy week for roleplays! Couple of no-shows, Scott Knight has been taken out of circulation at the request of the handler, Mun's effort was marginally over the deadline and I'm not sure what happened with Josh Woodrum.

I'll be honest and say that at the start of this week I was thinking that I'd made a mistake. Kira vs. Nick last time should have been a contendership for the International Championship and Logan probably would have been good in an FSC match with Richlen, who he has a bit of history with.

So happy to say I couldn't have been more wrong.

The stuff with Johnny, Logan and Jack Jr. was a lot of fun and probably gave Johnny the most to work with and oh boy, Riot and Richlen tore the house down. A fantastic set of roleplays from both chaps and I've now completely changed the plans for Blessed & Forsaken. There has to be a rematch and soon, hence the finish.

I'll say more tomorrow about the other matches, suffice to say it was a really fun show to write thanks to the efforts of the roleplayers. Probably best to get a predictions thread up sooner!

I'm not completely satisfied with the booking. Perhaps I never will be, but if you feel I'm missing a trick with your character or another, please get in touch. There are some real weak areas, originally RATC had around 6 run-ins that got whittled down. If there's an opponent you'd at least like a match or two with, let me know.

Thoughts?
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Minister Wighty
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I really liked this show, and that's weird because there were a lot of non finishes and I'm not usually a fan of that. So it exceeded expectations! I had a lot of fun getting into all the new faces, too. I really like Crystal Blake. Reminds me of a person who used to RP here, but better!
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NickRiot
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I've said it once over, and frankly, I can't stop admitting it. RP'ing against him is a bitch but in a good way :D That finish had me a bit mixed up, and I had to read it again. I definitely loved it though, it's not often for me to be in those kind of situations so i'll take it!

Moving into next week against Kira, I can't wait. I think Otaku's getting better at Roleplaying, so it'll be a nice, refreshing match IMHO.

D'ah, good work everyone! Really considering doing an FIW-based podcast once I'm done RP'ing. Shows like this makes it all worth doing it.
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ratedgdr
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NickRiot,Aug 23 2016
05:52 PM
I've said it once over, and frankly, I can't stop admitting it. RP'ing against him is a bitch but in a good way :D That finish had me a bit mixed up, and I had to read it again. I definitely loved it though, it's not often for me to be in those kind of situations so i'll take it!

Moving into next week against Kira, I can't wait. I think Otaku's getting better at Roleplaying, so it'll be a nice, refreshing match IMHO.

D'ah, good work everyone! Really considering doing an FIW-based podcast once I'm done RP'ing. Shows like this makes it all worth doing it.

Feeling is mutual. And I won't lie, I fully expected to lose. Didn't really find my swing until third promo.

Shaelin losing I expected. I had a difficult time trying to come up with something and the end result was underwhelming by my standards.
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MrOtaku2399
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First i gotta give a huge thanks to those who i went against this week.Thank you guys and gals for the good stuff this week.Im sorry i was late and yukis stuff was crap this week.I honestly over saw setphen and crystals first rps and i would of done more with those if i hadnt.I got allot of matches im really going to try hard in this week too so i hope i can really bring something good up.Also do you guys like the kira zone thing or do you think its something i should steer away from?

To Mr.Riot thanks for the kind words and i hope we can do some good things this week.I got some ideas for this week and im going to try and find more stuff to look at for ideas.

Good job to all the writers and the booking was good imo i think the set ups for matches and stuff were pretty good and awesome job to every one!
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NickRiot
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ratedgdr,Aug 23 2016
11:49 PM
NickRiot,Aug 23 2016
05:52 PM
I've said it once over, and frankly, I can't stop admitting it. RP'ing against him is a bitch but in a good way :D That finish had me a bit mixed up, and I had to read it again. I definitely loved it though, it's not often for me to be in those kind of situations so i'll take it!

Moving into next week against Kira, I can't wait. I think Otaku's getting better at Roleplaying, so it'll be a nice, refreshing match IMHO.

D'ah, good work everyone! Really considering doing an FIW-based podcast once I'm done RP'ing. Shows like this makes it all worth doing it.

Feeling is mutual. And I won't lie, I fully expected to lose. Didn't really find my swing until third promo.

Shaelin losing I expected. I had a difficult time trying to come up with something and the end result was underwhelming by my standards.

Truthfully, I thought all your promos flowed well and were pretty good alltogether. If anything, it was a change of pace for Gus. It would be off to say that you should try the same promo twice and when I read your stuff, it felt like I was being pitched a curveball in the bottom of the 9th, and it was up to me to either strike out, hit a homer, or go for a base hit.

...Yeah, that baseball analogy got outta' hand but I hope you understand my point :D
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MrOtaku2399
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NickRiot,Aug 24 2016
12:33 AM
ratedgdr,Aug 23 2016
11:49 PM
NickRiot,Aug 23 2016
05:52 PM
I've said it once over, and frankly, I can't stop admitting it. RP'ing against him is a bitch but in a good way :D That finish had me a bit mixed up, and I had to read it again. I definitely loved it though, it's not often for me to be in those kind of situations so i'll take it!

Moving into next week against Kira, I can't wait. I think Otaku's getting better at Roleplaying, so it'll be a nice, refreshing match IMHO.

D'ah, good work everyone! Really considering doing an FIW-based podcast once I'm done RP'ing. Shows like this makes it all worth doing it.

Feeling is mutual. And I won't lie, I fully expected to lose. Didn't really find my swing until third promo.

Shaelin losing I expected. I had a difficult time trying to come up with something and the end result was underwhelming by my standards.

Truthfully, I thought all your promos flowed well and were pretty good alltogether. If anything, it was a change of pace for Gus. It would be off to say that you should try the same promo twice and when I read your stuff, it felt like I was being pitched a curveball in the bottom of the 9th, and it was up to me to either strike out, hit a homer, or go for a base hit.

...Yeah, that baseball analogy got outta' hand but I hope you understand my point :D

thanks man.I think i get enough of it anyway.much appreciated i just hope it doesnt get repetitive or stale or anything.i gotta go look up more urban legends and song lyrics for ideasnow.
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cookingood
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Haven't read through the full show yet, sorry. Still trying to adjust back to normal after the week long vacation.

The one match that I have read (again, sorry... not trying to be "that guy") was my own, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Exciting new development! Also, apologies for only getting one RP up this week. Tried to make it as best as I could though. Aaaand Marc's a beast :P
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Leucippides
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Minister Wighty,Aug 23 2016
06:46 PM
I really liked this show, and that's weird because there were a lot of non finishes and I'm not usually a fan of that. So it exceeded expectations! I had a lot of fun getting into all the new faces, too. I really like Crystal Blake. Reminds me of a person who used to RP here, but better!

Really? Thanks. :) I'll try and keep this train going. :)

For feedback...Bombs Away is such a silly move. lol Has no place anywhere. I did enjoy the match though, a lot of even action between the three keeping each one on their feet. Glad to see her still doing the suplex, might make it a trademark of sorts. lol

Rest of the show looked good. Lots of segments which is nice. Will have to keep contributing. They're fun. :)
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Dai
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Loved Jerry and Bob. Not going to Google whatever Bob was on about though.

Not that it's too much of a problem in practice (I think it only really affects one word in the match,) but Vi should have been out in Sakura's corner. They were discussing what Vi was going to be wearing in Vi's two appearances.

Non finishes are a bit of a drag, but shit needs progressing, I guess.

Liked the rest of it. Good to see some more segments this week. We
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Mad Dawg
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Excellent show this week. Really cool developments but holy shit the Coulter Crew is gaining some power! Almost makes you wonder if there's one more guy waiting in the wings. ;)

Main event was boss, had me wondering if Mad Dawg would hold on. By DQ but to me a win is still a win. :) Had fun working with CG this week, he's always a tough one to go against. Interested in seeing how this affects things heading into Blessed & Forsaken, it's looking like it's leading to one hell of a card.
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Mad Dawg's Accomplishments

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Finisher of the Year 2011 - The Mauler
(Runner-Up) Feud of the Year 2011
(Runner-Up) Heel of the Year 2011
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Match of the Month (Feb. '12, June '12)

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Lita Maivia
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What an incredible show. Great job from Craig on all those matches that he wrote. I wish I could have taken more but Tuesday shows are kinda rough for me. I think I recently re-worked our schedule so that all PPVs land on Friday (or did we go with the Sunday or Saturday plan?) Anyway. Yeah. This is the reason why. Weekdays suck for match writing.

Hellcats Triple Threat was a fun read. I really like Marilyn and would love to see Hayden really get some steam behind her. Yuki is such an great character type, but her promos are definitely lacking. Not to sound rude, but they come off very lazy. I would just be aware of that when you write her. The presentation is very careless both in style and spelling/grammar. If you could clean those both up, she would be incredible. Crystal Blake is well written and she has a very unique character. Personally, I'm not a fan of odd character quirks like narrating themselves but I can't argue with the talent and effort put in. I tend to favor character traits for wrestlers that translate into actually wrestling and this isn't one of those, that's all. Still, very good effort from the character and incredibly well written. The victory was well earned.

Anxiously awaiting the arrival of Xenia. As a member of the creative team, I am as in the dark about this character as you all are.

Great job from Bleak this week with Eversol. A slightly stronger output last week, but the character remains a mixture of what I remember and feeling refreshed just enough to merit a "return tour" of sorts. Now Kira is a character that has a slightly better effort put in than Yuki a lot of the time. If you could at least match this then I see Yuki raising up the ranks. The only advice I have is this, if you're going to have a lot of non-Kira dialogue you should consider giving these characters color codes to at least make those long stretches of text not look like a wall of white text. It would help break it up and make it all around easier on the eyes.

I had fun writing Brittany vs. Helena. This rivalry is one of my all-time favorite things I've been a part of in FIW and I am so glad that it is back on. Adam is absolutely incredible to work with and is always so passionate with ideas and willing to do just about anything. Honestly, I was shocked when Craig told me that Brittany was going over. It makes sense booking wise with Yuki trying to become a thorn in Helena's side (bad idea Yuki, bad idea) but I really thought Adam knocked it out of the park with Helena in terms of roleplays. I really like that Helena is still questionably unstable but a bit more focused this go around with wanting the title. Really good stuff.

What is there to say about Gus and Nick that Craig didn't already cover? That match was near-impossible to call. The turn out for that FSC match is probably one of the greatest in that title's history and I was a part of the wars with Gus during the Johnny/Gus era. Nick Riot cuts a solid promo. The presentation is grand and the handler knows this wrestler. Richlen has improved by leaps and bounds after having already improved by leaps and bounds in the past. Presentation can sometimes be an issue but I feel like Sticky has really found this character's voice and does a really good job of balancing his explosive temper. The character has had a tendency of going off the rails in a terrible way, but Sticky has been solid over the last several months to guard from this. I actually picked a double pin and potentially shared championship run going into a rematch because it was so tough to call this match. Riot is the kind of guy that seems to win a lot, but not when a title is on the line and I just had trouble with awarding Riot another title loss when he's so solid in his promo work. At the same time, I didn't love the idea of ripping the strap from Richlen after all the great work Sticky has been doing. I like the way Craig went with the result. Very great way to build to a rematch and should be another highlight match in the FSC's history.

Not really surprised to retain the Tag Team titles and I say that with the utmost respect to all of the challengers in this match. Poor Mike Harrison. You did a phenomenal job in an uphill battle. If you had a partner that had shown, you very well could have taken the titles. If you had been entered in this match with one of your own characters as your partners, I'm certain you WOULD have taken the titles. You gave me so much to work with and I really appreciate your effort and dedication to the match despite not having any support. Huge props to that. The Dream remains one of my favorite characters of all time and I really wish we had seen more from him going into this match. I absolutely loved Craig's decision to have Dream's team eliminated and then Dream decides to take over for Scott Knight. Should have been the original version of teams for the match but I screwed up and thought Mike could work better with a serious competitor and that Dream would thrive with someone like Woodrum. Dos Gatitos are incredible. I love both characters (though obviously I favor Energio). All I can say is, thank God you came in past the deadline or there would have been real concern with the result. Lol.

I hope both Steve and Craig are happy with what I wrote in the Triple Threat match. I tried to get everyone's characters some shine in it and the match came out much longer than I had intended. Very grateful to retain the title. I had so much fun writing Johnny this cycle. Outside of the story Nate and I crafted for our characters in the transition of GMs, I feel like this is the first real meat Johnny has had to work with in a very long time. Probably since Richlen. So, thanks to both Craig and Steve for having such great characters and really bringing a lot to the table for this match. Jack Manson Jr. is probably my favorite current competitor on the roster right now. Steve writes him so incredibly well that I'm just in love with him. I love it when someone takes on a heel persona and shows no fear with writing the character. A lot of times people tend to worry that they'll offend someone with their character's words and I totally understand that fear, but Jack Jr. is the uber heel for Steve's willingness to risk that.

Fun stuff in the Hellcats title match. Sakura is unbeatable and let me just explain to people Dai's process. "I don't know what to write." A day later "I don't know what to write." A day later. "I still don't know what to write." A day later and he lays down some solid gold. I'm done hearing that you don't know what to write. Lol. Glad to see Kim show her face because this Shaelin/Kim situation is very fun to be working. Very excited for the Intergender Tag next week.

Just a side-note. Two confused moves in this situation. The Poison Crown is Kim Coulter's DDT, not her Curb Stomp. And the Water Spirit Suplex is shocking a suplex, not a moonsault.

The Jericho Cruz segment was honestly the highlight of an incredibly packed show. Let me acknowledge that I have been badgering Wight to bring in this character for about a month or so. This character type is the Wight that I know and the Wight that I love. Like Steve, Wight has no fear of offending people with a character's words. So, I think this character could turn out to be a highlight every week. A very exciting debut for the character and he didn't even have to blindside anybody with a physical attack.

The main-event was a great continuation of a story that I am enjoying. Darian Gray has to be the greatest rise to main-event status since another sharp dressed man that liked to talk about himself. Matt has transitioned so well into this card positioned and I am honored to be working alongside him in it. Marc remains an unmoveable force at the top of the mountain, but if he's at all concerned about Matt then he's paying attention.

Super thrilled to have Stephen J. Eversol re-aligned with Kim Coulter and I hope we threw people off the scent. It sucked not getting to work directly with Bleak the past two shows (though we found a way to force it on his return) so I'm glad that we finally pulled that curtain back and things can get back to normal with that twosome.
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Leucippides
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Who iz dis Black Mage?
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Crystal Blake is well written and she has a very unique character. Personally, I'm not a fan of odd character quirks like narrating themselves but I can't argue with the talent and effort put in. I tend to favor character traits for wrestlers that translate into actually wrestling and this isn't one of those, that's all. Still, very good effort from the character and incredibly well written. The victory was well earned.

Sorry, it's a "still in development" quirk of hers, just seeing where it goes. I might drop it, but for now it's kinda fun as it gives a different sort of insight to how she feels on situations. Like thus far meeting Sakura. Still, I'll try and integrate her quirks more into her wrestling. Hopefully to good results. :)
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Lita Maivia
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You're making her stand out in promo work and that's not a bad thing. I would just be careful to make her entirely a promo character that ends up being an ordinary wrestler in the ring. It tends to create a bit of a disconnect with readers from interesting character promos to ordinary wrestler in matches. I mean, it's not like she can narrate her matches unless we mic her and then she would be disrupting commentary and we love our commentators. Well, we love Hitchen.
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MrOtaku2399
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I'm sorry if Yuki seems like it's more of a lazy and less caring promo.I'm not trying to make any excuses or anything like that but i should have more time for her in the next week or two(i think) thats when im going on hiatus in another place i play so i can focus on here more.Im sorry the kira zone/story like segments are just white blocks of text.Ill try to make those mor colorful if i can remember when i write it all out.I'm going to really try to think of something and do something better for yuki as well as kira too.I think i'll try to read and find some old stuff i did with a character similar to yuki's and hopefully find some good ideas for her as well as kira.Thanks for the honesty and ill try to improve and tweak things up this week.I'll try to really get my mind on the two characters and hopefully put something better.Im sorry if it seems like my stuff is lazy or whatever too ill try to make it better for sure!
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BleakInfinity
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Just wanted to quickly say how much I enjoyed the show. Great job to Craig and Lita for all of the matches and the show going up on time. I love seeing Johnny Amazing win all the time. Mercedes says hi, Johnny. :wub:

Steve has definitely given me some inspiration to how awful a heel should really be. Amazing stuff right now.

I'm definitely happy with the little bit with Eversol towards the end. And bravo to Lita for kayfabing everyone for the past few weeks. Feels good that the secret it finally out and I hope everyone enjoyed it. Working with the new Coulter Crew is definitely going to be tons of fun. Can't wait for this week to be able to get Eversol and Kim working together again.
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Leucippides
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I was giving it some thought, and obviously open to opinions on this, but why couldn't she narrate during matches? I don't mean give her a live mic or a mic at all just, very rarely, during calm moments or before or after matches have her talk to herself a little. She's still focused on the match and everything. I dunno, I just really like the narrating aspect but at the same time I don't wanna upset anyone.
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Minister Wighty
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Don't sweat it too much. I've made plenty of hay (including title runs) out of characters that Lita basically despised. Everybody has their own preferences and she was just sharing an opinion, which was sweet of her. Feedback is a treasure.

I like your idea for a spot, something fun for the writers to put in about her lips moving during the match or something. Maybe if she gets close enough to one of the ring mics and they can almost hear her the announcers are trying to figure out what she's saying... and then realize she's calling her own moves as she's doing them. It'd be a fun way to lampshade the out-of-kayfabe act of calling spots and communicating stuff like that while supporting something that character does IN kayfabe. Maybe she can even get a DVD after a while, and feel like she needs to go back and ADR narration into her matches?

Either way, keep doing what you're doing. You're a fun writer and a good fit for this fed.

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Triadred
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Try not to hang too much of your motivation to write on pleasing people. That's most likely the fastest way to burn yourself out. Feedback and criticism are good for improving your writing habits and fleshing out your style. Good characters come from good writers. I mean, you could have an awesome concept for a character, but if you're shit at writing about it the character suffers. On the other hand, you're character could be weak in some areas but having the skill set to flesh them out over time means you're going to capture interest and people will eventually warm to your ideas. As they say, Rome wasn't built in a day.
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Steve
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Sorry for the late feedback. I only really skimmed the show this week. Life has been super busy, have been working the past 21 days straight and I'm exhausted. Hopefully the paycheck will be worth it if Uncle Sam doesn't bend me over too badly.

The triple threat match was a great read and Jack was portrayed perfectly. Didn't really have too high of hopes of winning based on what I stated above and the lack of time to focus on RPing. I appreciate all of the feedback on Jack Jr., I'm glad that I'm conveying exactly what I intend for him well enough for the kind feedback. I think he's probably one of the best heel characters I've written and actually have fun writing.
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Dai
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Lita Maivia,Aug 25 2016
01:31 AM
Sakura is unbeatable and let me just explain to people Dai's process.  "I don't know what to write." A day later "I don't know what to write."  A day later.  "I still don't know what to write."

You missed out the all-important "I've got half an idea, but I think it probably sucks." step in the middle there that gets dismissed.

<3
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Craig
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Lita Maivia,Aug 25 2016
12:31 AM
Just a side-note. Two confused moves in this situation. The Poison Crown is Kim Coulter's DDT, not her Curb Stomp. And the Water Spirit Suplex is shocking a suplex, not a moonsault.

I missed that in proof reading. Originally I had written Sakura to miss the first moonsault, then Kim interferes with the belt, then Sakura hits the second moonsault and Kim comes in to hit her curb stomp. I think you suggested the Pink Frosting, so I changed that and I probably favoured the suplex but must have missed the follow up.

In all honesty I didn't even read the promos, just slotted them straight in so that's on me. It's around this time I would like more people from the UK because they'd understand when I say today was GCSE results day so all this week since Monday and the next few will be crazy as we recruit students.

I wasn't big on the non-finishes but I agree that most advance angles.

There are some characters I admit to finding tough to write, I think I mentioned that Sakura is one (although I was okay with her this week) but Dream just writes himself. Energio Gatito is another one.

Really like Jericho Cruz, Mike Harrison continues to impress and I'm interested to see how he does against Johnny. It was a toss-up really between one of the Sharks and Johnny for his opponent, let's go with the main man.

We've got this upcoming ReVolt, then another, then Blessed & Forsaken so the big shows come thick and fast. It's going to be tough for decisions over the coming weeks, you only need to look at Darian vs. Mad Dawg, Brittany vs. Helena and Richlen vs. Riot from this past show to see that. Just bear in mind that somebody has to lose, at least on occasion. It's part of the game and many a good situation comes out of it.
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