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| Tuesday ReVolt Feedback | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 7 2017, 09:40 PM (365 Views) | |
| Craig | Mar 7 2017, 09:40 PM Post #1 |
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Matches: Jes, Otaku, Rob, Wight, Craig, Lita, Steve Promos: Steve, Lita, Craig, Nate Hopefully I’ve not missed anything or anyone out. There was an additional promo from Steve that I didn’t include because it was very odd placing and didn’t tie in with what was already happening. If he can edit that because I thought it could fit in earlier in the show, please do edit in. Really impressed with Freakshow, Joe Stanton and Rob Garcia especially this week. It’s just a shame that Freakshow was against Joe! As always these are close calls. Congratulations to Otaku on the big tag team win, deserved is all I can say really. More content, more formatting and a really good example of somebody taking feedback and running with it. It’s good to see such a positive attitude rewarded in results. Several PPV matches announced, still some to come next time out and we’ll have a PreVolt broadcast just before the PPV again. For Nensai Senjou the main event was set a couple of months in advance, now this time it’s more a few weeks so it’s interesting to have that change. I’ve tried to let most things grow on their own, such as the Alpha Wolves rehabilitation to the tag titles and it works out nicely that it’s their old rivals NBE waiting for them. Shocking ending to the show, or at least I hope so! Thank you to all the writers, it’s wonderful to have so much help. Not so many promos but the ones in there are all advancing angles. Thoughts? |
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| MrOtaku2399 | Mar 7 2017, 09:50 PM Post #2 |
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FIW's Resident Otaku
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Thank you craig for the kind words.I tried supper hard this week and i'm glad it paid off.ATN i knew were tough so i tried my best.Still probably got some things i need to edit out and stuff but i think i got a nice format to continue to try out.I only read my matches so for but i'll add more stuff later on.I hope my match made sense too.I think i got some ideas i'm gonna try to continue to work towards too and hopefully more stuff can work out. |
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| Rob Storm | Mar 7 2017, 10:06 PM Post #3 |
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Lawful Good
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I could not be any happier for you partner! You have worked so VERY, very hard and taken every bit of criticism constructively and like a gentleman. So proud of you and I know there is no limit to how far you can go! Big grats' to ya'!
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| MrOtaku2399 | Mar 7 2017, 10:16 PM Post #4 |
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FIW's Resident Otaku
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thank you my good sir! |
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| JesTheBarber | Mar 7 2017, 10:24 PM Post #5 |
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Otaku, how'd you like the match? Haha! It was technically my first time writing a match, but I tried to make it exciting. Congrats to you broski on the victory. I thought it was well deserved. Its pretty cool to hear all the praise toward you for working hard at it! So far I have enjoyed the show from what I have read so far. Trying to get the characters of Johnathan and Chip. I kept making them sound like Muaro Ronello and Larry Zabisko in my head. Haha! But I enojoyed writing my match, criticism from any one would be appreciated. If you all need another writer or ever are short staffed on writing, I'll be glad to help. |
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| Minister Wighty | Mar 7 2017, 10:26 PM Post #6 |
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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Congrats to Mr. Otaku on the win. Well-deserved and well-earned. I enjoyed the show! A few of the "twists" I knew well in advance, but I liked how the distraction went down in Freakshow's match and I'm glad I went with the audible I chose for Jericho's contest especially, given that turn of events. Keeping this feud hot even though neither man is really clashing regularly. On one hand, disappointed Brittany didn't get to fight, but on the other it was a good way to handle what needed to be handled; use it to put over someone else. That's just good booking, man, I don't know what else to call it. Props to Lita and Craig for that. Good to see Darian back. Did we find out who's replacing Mister Mizery? Did I miss that? Or do we just not know yet? Who the hell was driving that limo, btw, Rikishi? Loved the opening with Kim, very nice stuff as usual. I like this angle; I honestly think it's the most I've enjoyed Kim Coulter since... ... the last time she was in NGIW, probably. |
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| Steve | Mar 7 2017, 11:04 PM Post #7 |
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Worked it out as an RP. Think that works just as well. Thank you for everyone that helped contribute. I still have to read over most the show but I wanted to say.... That ending segment was so much fun to write and going back through and reading it, it was just as much fun. I really enjoy collaborations like this with Lita. Sucks ATN lost. I'm still really not feeling it with them and I think I'm going to do some serious evaluation on this team. Nice work to Jordan!
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| Dai | Mar 8 2017, 12:22 AM Post #8 |
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Captain SPARKLE~!!!
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Rob Garden's crack about Alastair declaring war on people who shower was absolutely the line of the week. |
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| Leucippides | Mar 8 2017, 01:52 AM Post #9 |
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Who iz dis Black Mage?
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My apologies for the lack in effort this week, they were well below what I would have liked to give and Wight and Rob deserved more. Though following the busy start came the sleep deprivation and that certainly didn't help anything. I'll try and pick it up in the coming weeks. So yeah, not at all surprised by the losses this week. |
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| MrOtaku2399 | Mar 8 2017, 02:31 AM Post #10 |
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FIW's Resident Otaku
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Thanks for the kind words guys and Rob i liked the match allot.It was pretty cool.It went back and forth and seemed pretty cool.I'll read the rest probably tomorrow though. |
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| BanalityBob | Mar 8 2017, 03:20 AM Post #11 |
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Bubblegum Pop Superhero
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Thanks for the kudos, Craig. I've been a little out of it this week, then getting a new laptop and downloading Marvel Heroes really put a dent in my weekend. This was a great show. The Crew shenanigans were fun, the matches were hype, and the swerve at the end with the Britney match was kinda crazy. Kudos to ratedgr for putting up quite a defense this week as Gustav and Mjolnir for putting up a great defense with Joe Stanton. I definitely deserved those losses. |
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| JesTheBarber | Mar 8 2017, 05:49 AM Post #12 |
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Rob "Garden" some one should call him Rob Gardner! 😂😂😂 I hope that wasn't a typo! Some one could have used that as an insult! LOL! Thanks Dai, glad you liked it. |
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| Willie | Mar 8 2017, 12:14 PM Post #13 |
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-=Badd Breed=-
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Everything played out as far as the Breed went exactly as Craig discussed with me, the Parking Lot fight was fun and the attacker gives me lots of ideas as to what to do for an RP. ROAL is really shaping up. Show was just solid all around otherwise. Good, sensible booking, all the feuds are progressing along nicely, some suprise wins, we are really on a roll right now. |
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| Hayden | Mar 8 2017, 07:51 PM Post #14 |
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Wrestler
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Not gonna lie, I'm stunned Marilyn got the victory. I could've sworn Denis would get the win, but I won't complain. Loved the opening segment. Dream showing up was an inevitability, and I can honestly say that it was a good idea to drag it out another week. Loved Dream's "trash talk" as well, as silly as it is. Especially happy with Dream's match against Nate. We all know that's a challenge, and I was worried the random names Dream was throwing out would detract from what he was saying. Fun fact: One of those is his real name! ROAL is shaping up quite nicely. Curious to see who takes Mizery's place and if Darian gets added to make it 4 vs. 4. Good to have him back, btw. |
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| Lita Maivia | Mar 8 2017, 07:58 PM Post #15 |
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Alright. Some fairly quick feedback this week as I was involved in pretty much all of my own stuff this week as far as moving stories forward and putting other characters over that I felt really deserved it but haven't quite gotten it for one reason or another. The opening segment was a lot of fun to write. I really would have liked to announce Nathaniel as the contender is a bigger way, to be honest, but I was writing so much for this show already that I just didn't have any other ideas on how to get it across. I guess it worked out in the end and I mea it's not like people weren't expecting Nathaniel. Nate really deserves the nod and I have to admit that I am super excited to continue Nathaniel/Johnny. I had a lot of fun writing the Dream's big run-in against the Crew. I really put some thought into a great way to put him over the entire Crew without (1) making him look like Superman and (2) making the Crew look like buffoons. I really hope I was able to accomplish it. This whole FSC/Dream angle has been one of my favorite things that I've worked on in a really long time. Surprised, but happy to see Marilyn win the Four-Way Women's Match. I'll be honest, I sided with Xenia or Jade for that match. I absolutely LOVED Marilyn's RP but wondered if I was being bias in that love for it. Still, what Xenia and Jade put out was really good for their characters. Definitely a tough match to call. I really like the paranoia that's overcoming Jericho Cruz in this angle with Freakshow. It's really breathed a lot of life into the Cruz character, and I didn't even think he NEEDED any life breathed into him. Now, I just need to get my head on straight and get Wight to start working that more into our RPs with the characters. I think we could have a lot of fun with it. It was good RPing against Seph again this week. He and I haven't really crossed paths since he came back and I was glad that Caleb got a chance to go up against Alastor. This story I've got Caleb on has been a lot of fun to work and I'm glad he's getting some great characters to work up against as he struggles to find his footing as a singles star. The segment between him and Nathaniel was a lot of fun to write. I liked that it was brief and still got its point across. There's not enough of those in efedding, it seems. Just small things that nudge a story. I am in love with Rob Garcia. ![]() I am also in love Darian Gray so I am so glad to see Matt back with him! I've missed Matt around here terribly and when I saw that Darian would be coming back, I got super excited! I cannot wait to continue working with him and seeing how things between Darian and Kim progress now that the landscape of FIW has changed so much in Matt's time off. It's definitely boosted the Crew big time getting him back. I gotta echo the praise for Jordan with Tokyo Mass Suicide. I spoke with him recently about pushing himself just a bit and I'm really glad to see him doing just that and really glad that I didn't offend him with my constructive criticism. I really like your attitude towards this game and you're great to have around the board. Huge improvement in the characters and a deserved win this week. Disappointed it came at the expense of ATN, who I am a fan of. They're not very deep characters but that's WHY I like them. Too many characters are obsessed with having layers and shades of gray. It's nice to see characters that are what you see is what you get. Frank Manson is the character, ATN are the instruments of destruction. It doesn't HAVE to be complicated. Dream vs. Nathaniel was the toughest call on the show for me. I feel like these two characters are at the top of the leaderboard when it comes to hitting all the marks. They both know exactly who their characters are, they both put out consistent quality with their characters, and they are both handled by guys with great attitudes that genuinely want to tell good stories with their characters and not just be fed wins for the sake of bragging rights. It's really made these characters shine for me and losses never really seem to affect their standings in my eyes because they bounce back from them so well. Still, a great victory for Dream. He's really been looking incredible lately and deservedly so. Triple Threat Match was a lot of fun to write. I really enjoyed getting to further so many storylines in this. The Crew/Manson, Crew/Johnny, and Johnny/Manson angles are all very interestingly entwined that it was great getting everything into one spot on the show without it feeling too forced or even overcrowded. I liked that Joe/Jack even got to be covered in this. I'm really enjoying the subtly of that angle, to be honest. It's building incredibly well. I liked the Crew/Manson portion because I felt even though Manson took a beatdown from the Crew that he came out of it looking like a beast. It's interesting doing this angle as nobody is a face in it. So weird, but something different. Nathaniel/Johnny was my personal favorite portion, though. I really like the dynamic these two have with each other. I love how Nate is all about Nathaniel getting punked out and blowing his lid. I feel like Nathaniel's temper is something we don't quite focus on enough, but it's so important to his character that he portrays this composed businessman but he gets so red-faced and violent with a flip of the switch. It's a lot of fun to play against. Main-event was... bittersweet. Getting rid of Brittany was something that has felt necessary for a very long time, but now more than ever. I'm glad I was able to help push a lot of stories with her departure by making Jack Jr. even more irredeemable, giving Eversol the slightest pinch of a face moment, as well as further the Amazing/Manson feud that I feel like will always be lingering around whether it's on a simmer or a boil. Sucks to get rid of her, though, as I enjoyed roleplaying her. Just a reminder to people, just because you like your character and like playing them that doesn't mean they are going to win anything. As long as we remain a competitive RPG, that's the price you pay. The judges rule and we all drool. ![]() Looking forward to Rise of a Legend. Card is shaping up fantastically! I'm super stoked to have Nathaniel/Johnny main-event. Out of everything these characters have done together, they've yet to get that main-event spotlight so I'm very excited to get it this time. EDIT: My definition of "fairly quick" is impressively long. EDIT #2: Omg. Jes' feedback is so awkward.
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| Digitalwheelin | Mar 8 2017, 08:47 PM Post #16 |
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Nathan
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I love these opening segments with Eversol and the Crew beating up on poor, defenseless fans. Lucky for them, the fans can’t sue FIW. Lol. The whole segment was perfect from beginning to end and it couldn’t have put Dream over any better, I think. That end with Dream coming down and hitting the splash on the entire Crew was awesome. I really liked the finish to the Hellcats fatal four-way. I think it opens up a lot of opportunities for the story for all four involved in that match. The match itself was great, too. Everybody got enough offense in and it was pretty evenly-matched until the very end. The promo that followed between Xenia and Suzanne Schwartz was a good way to push the story forward with Xenia as well. The entrance for Sang-Hyun Lee is awesome. It reminds me so much of Rick Rude and I love that. Lol. And even better for him, he won the match against Deacon Cane in very short order. It’ll be interesting to see how Sang-Hyun can continue that momentum moving forward. Another big win for Richlen against Prince Alejandro. I think Sticky has been on a roll with the Alpha Wolves, so it’s not surprising to see him picking up wins as of late. I’m eager to see how he pushes forward with this win and seeing how the story progresses with the Wolves, especially in the tag division. The Jericho/Hikou match was very brief, but I feel like it made sense that it was given the way everything was almost a knockdown-drag out between them. Things started off with a bang right from the top of the match all the way to the end and it was still fun to read that. The finish showing Jericho overly paranoid was a nice touch as well. And then it was onto yet another very brief match in Alastor vs. Caleb. Lol. I really like the story with Caleb struggling after the split between the Brick Sharks. I think that’s what made the ensuing promo between he and Alexander and Kim that much better. It’s so like the latter to kick someone when they’re down. The match itself pushed that story well, I think. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that I’m a big fan of both Rob Garcia and Colin Stiles, so seeing the match between them was great. Really cool to see Rob Garcia take another win. I really like what Jes has been doing with the Rob Garcia character with his RP’s and seeing how he works in the results of the shows into them. Great job on that! Definitely looking forward to seeing how this match is played into the character’s story moving forward. The promo with Alexander and Kim giving Caleb Claudel crap was a lot of fun to write. It was a short one, but I really liked the way that turned out. A perfect example of how much of a dick Alexander can be when things are looking up for him. Too bad for him that it didn’t stay that way as the night progressed. Lol. I was wondering how long the win streak would continue for Crystal Blake. I really like the way her story is shaping up and it’ll be interesting to see how she bounces back from that loss, the “blemish in her record” so to speak. Really enjoyed the RoAL bumper in the middle of the show. I think it was a great way to put over how important the show will be. Having the Alexander/Johnny match be Champion’s Choice is perfect. I can’t wait until that match happens, but before that I can’t wait until Johnny makes the decision on what kind of match it’ll be. Hopefully everybody will be as hyped as I am for it. Wow, definitely shocking to see Darian Gray make a return, but I’m glad he did. I’ve always been a fan of the character. The parking lot brawl was brutal almost from the start, and it was awesome. I really like the way the whole thing progressed from beginning to end, and having Darian Gray come back to attack Mister Mizery was great. The bit that followed later in the show giving an update on Mister Mizery gave this whole thing a bit more urgency and really put over how serious the attack was. That was a nice touch. It looks like ATN have found their match in Tokyo Mass Suicide. This was another shocker seeing ATN take the loss, and if Frank’s reaction at the end of that match is any indication, he and the ATN won’t take that loss lightly. Definitely looking forward to seeing how both teams come off this match. Alexander cannot catch a break against The Dream! Lol. I love that the match ended with Nathaniel being cocky and having that backfire on him and get beat by Dream. With someone as much of a prick as Alexander is, that’s pretty much a microcosm of what he deserves for all his shenanigans. Lol. Great match and very well-written, too. The Joe Stanton/Freakshow match was awesome. Definitely surprising to see Freakshow take his first major loss, but great to see Joe Stanton pick up the win. After the last show, I had said it’d be interesting to see the reaction to Freakshow interfering in the match between Jericho Cruz and Johnny Amazing. I guess I found that out when Harley interfered in Freakshow’s match. Lol. That was a nice touch and I can’t wait to see how this story develops. The triple threat match started off great with Jack Jr. staying away at first and goading Johnny and Eversol to take each other out so he could take advantage. That’s perfect heel heat for Jack Jr, that was awesome. I loved how things devolved into chaos as well. Jack finally managed to get his hands on Kim and just when he thinks he’s got her, Joe and Eversol to the rescue. Lol. I’m sure Alexander will have something to say about that and the fact that The Crew left him behind in the limo, even if it did give him the opportunity to get at Johnny. But then look how that turned out. Lol! That promo between Johnny and Nathaniel that followed the triple threat was a lot of fun. Hopefully everybody enjoyed that bit. I know I certainly did. It’s always a lot of fun A.) having Alexander be an asshole heel and seeing him get his just desserts for it, and B.) working with Lita with Alexander and Johnny. Those two have so much history with one another, it’s always really easy to pull something together with them. Man, I feel like if this were an actual wrestling show, that ending segment with Jack Jr. attacking Brittany would be uncomfortable to watch. Alexander is a heel, but Jack Jr. beats him by far. Lol. I don’t know that Alexander would willingly do something like that to Brittany, or any other woman on the roster for that matter. Not unless it was a sanctioned match. He did physically threaten Brittany one time when he grabbed her and pinned her hands behind her, but I don't think he'd have gone further beyond that. That whole deal absolutely elevated Jack Jr’s heel heat. |
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| Minister Wighty | Mar 8 2017, 09:48 PM Post #17 |
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Curious by Nate's statements about my matches, I decided to do a little length-checking. Skipping things like entrances and aftermath, of course. Hellcats Fatal-Four-Way: 428 Words Sang-Hyun Lee vs. Deacon Cane: 379 Words Gus Richlen vs. El Principe: 434 Words Jericho Cruz vs. Hikou: 495 Words Caleb Claudel vs. Alastor Saintclaire: 254 Words Rob Garcia vs. Colin Stiles: 435 Words Crystal Blake vs. Rebel: 336 Words Mr. Mizery vs. Clay Krueger: 416 Words Tokyo Mass Suicide vs. Albanian Terror Network: 874 Words Dream vs. Nathaniel Alexander: 650 Words Joe Stanton vs. Freakshow: 793 Words Johnny Amazing vs. Eversol vs. Jack Jr.: 2,611 Words Jericho/Hikou was the longest match of the lower-card results, up to TMS/ATN, though Claudel/Saintclaire was indeed the shortest match on the card. I'll bite the bullet on that one; I really wanted to help Craig out with eleven matches on his plate, despite the fact that I'm really creatively struggling right now both in e-feds and my personal life, and am having a difficult time juggling helping out here and managing Neon Gen at the same time. I also have no clue what the hell Saintclaire's gimmick is, so it's kind of hard to properly put him over since... I'm not sure what I'm doing. But you're right, I probably could've worked harder to make that match longer, and I apologize. When I wrote two matches for the PreVolt before Nensai Senjou, I realized they were kind of on the short side seeing them next to everything else, but when I talked to Craig about it he asked me not to make my matches in the future too much longer, so I try to abide by that. Marilyn vs. Paris vs. Crystal Blake was 274 Words, and Father Pike vs. Black Tom vs. Kira Izumi vs. Alika Gray was 201. If my content is for whatever reason not good enough for the standard of quality FIW desires, then let me know and I'll stop writing matches. |
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| Digitalwheelin | Mar 8 2017, 09:53 PM Post #18 |
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Nathan
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I didn't mean it as a slight when I mentioned those matches were short, man. I apologize if it came off that way. That's not at all what I meant. Trust me, I'm the last person here who would complain or even bad mouth anything. My apologies again if it came off negatively. |
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| Minister Wighty | Mar 8 2017, 09:54 PM Post #19 |
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No big. I'm just going through a lot of creative difficulty right now, and I'd hate for my problems to start affecting FIW as a whole any more than they already have. EDIT: It was honest feedback, and I appreciate that. But if I'm causing a problem I need to know I am before I can fix it, y'know? |
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| Rob Storm | Mar 8 2017, 10:23 PM Post #20 |
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Lawful Good
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I kind of like that some matches are longer and some matches are shorter. Look, take it from me, the ones I write are lucky if they come out longer than two paragraphs. Sadly this is because it's all I am able to to do. I kind of feel bad about that sometimes. Like I am shorting, no pun intended, the hard word of the role-players. Then again I could end up writing an 11-page match and it could be a mess. Like if you put hot fudge that is too warm on your vanilla ice cream. It's all mushy! Mmmm... ice cream. Anyway... Yeah, everyone's work is awesome. Long, short or somewhere in-between
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| JesTheBarber | Mar 8 2017, 10:48 PM Post #21 |
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I think he's like a Heel Hillbilly Jim or like the evil Godwins. "I'll make you squel like a pig, boy!" and he hates city boys! Thats what I think at least. @Lita @Digitalwheelin Thanks man! I really appreciate that |
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| Steve | Mar 8 2017, 11:46 PM Post #22 |
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Legend
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A true wrestling show doesn't have same time limit match consistently. A variety of sized matches definitely makes FIW feel a bit more like RAW or any real episodic style wrestling show. |
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| Jade Justice | Mar 9 2017, 12:16 AM Post #23 |
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[align=center]Another great show. My second rp was very out there as well I typed it up while buzzed lol. Yikes. But I am really liking some of these storylines. Kinda wish Jade could get immersed in one but yeah she's considered newish. Great job to all those involved.[/align] |
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| Dai | Mar 9 2017, 11:42 AM Post #24 |
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Captain SPARKLE~!!!
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At least half of the Blond Outlaws run consisted of me coming home after a few drinks and cribbing old Stray Cats songs on Deadline Night; so I shouldn't worry too much. If you have any ideas for stories, or people you want to work with, most people are open to PMs, or the Drawing Board forum works as a place to work something out. Just be sure to keep Craig et al up to speed on what you want out of management to move it on. The first real piece of business is just to apologise that I haven't been particularly active this week. These are strange and confusing times, although not necessarily bad, so no worries on my account. Hopefully this week things will start to settle down. I remember the days when Ash would craft these epic matches that would never be on time, and leave us with two days to RP for the next card. Give me short, to the point, on time matches any day. I kinda dig a succinct style, anyway. If a picture of an owl works to remind Crystal that Sak's still out there, then a picture of an owl will do just fine. Yeah, I meant Garcia, just got gypped by autocorrect. Bite me. Still a fun as hell line. As I've told a few other people, Garcia and Ninja Blood might make a fun Funk & Cactus type of gang: friends one minute, smashing shit over each other's heads the next. It's pretty much the Ninja Blood thing as it is, but I figure the more the merrier, ya know? This business with the Dream is fun. Hopefully it doesn't eat into Marilyn time, but you don't need to tell me how hard it is to balance two characters sometimes. Sorry I couldn't be much use with Brittany feedback, but I got no idea. Hard for me to say what Britt could have done better in the title matches, ya know? I wouldn't be surprised if someone just flipped a coin on the two PPV matches. At any rate, sad to see her go, hopefully she can be back before too long. |
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[/align]

6:49 PM Jul 11