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Friday ReVolt Feedback
Topic Started: Mar 18 2017, 12:06 AM (501 Views)
Craig
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Scope
[ *  *  *  * ]
Matches: Jes, Rob, Wight, Craig, Lita
Promos: Dai, Lita, Steve, Nate, Craig

As usual if I've missed anybody out I'm profoundly sorry. I got into a habit of jotting down some feedback notes and I haven't done for this week.

Cards will go up in the morning, as will the news topics (7/8 hours from now). Gives Lita a nice time to put together the fantastic vs. screens for any new matches.

As with the last PPV, there's a PreVolt and the PPV itself. Writers are always welcome, there's a mix of full matches and the usual short results. If you'd like to take a match please do PM or include as part of your feedback. The deadlines are also a day apart. Please do take note of both cards (one character is on both) and the associated deadlines.

Really enjoyed the Colin-Kira-Rob-Alastor roleplays. It was fun to have them intertwined with each other.

Seemed like a bit of a lull for this show but I put it down to big matches on the horizon. Couple of no-shows, Will missed out on Badd Breed's team effort and Tom explained his just before the deadline.

I would like to publically apologise to Jes, he offered to write Badd Breed vs. ATN and did so, only for me to realise that I hadn't mentioned which members of Badd Breed. My apologies.

Big welcome back to a certain member (staying spoiler free for now). That was good fun to write.

Thoughts?
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MrOtaku2399
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good card and happy with all of mymatches. i'm sorry for little rps this week i had allot of ideas running through my mind for a project so to speak. it's allready started with sangs rp and it'll hopefully just get better. i might not be on much over the weekend andill try to add more stuff to this after my trip.
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That Darn Seph
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The High Elevation Sensation!
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Great show, action packed and a fluid pacing that kept it an easy dihestable read. Liked the result of match and look forward to continuing the program with Jess, enjoyed working with Kira and Colin yet again, good stuff.

Gasp! KEITH WILLIAMS IS BACK! Mark out moment for me, good to see him back, as Kyle is a awesome asset to have in the RPs and shows! Good show, damn nice way to end it.
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Rob Storm
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Thank you to everyone who helped make the show another good one this week. Everything is going in a groovy direction.

I hope the matches I wrote this week were better than my previous ones. I tried to incorporate the announcers more because I am trying to improve. I really enjoyed Chip Martin trying to woo Marilyn with Pokeman stuff! I saw in Marilyn's roster page that Chip "thinks he could have a chance with her" or something of that nature. I am hoping that the line "I think I dropped my Jigglypuff" becomes the next hot internet meme :P

Enjoyed all the matches and role-plays. Really enjoying the ongoing Manson family drama.

Don't have much else to say. Thanks again gang.
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Hayden
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I enjoyed Chip's attempts to woo Marilyn. Definitely a high point for the match and added a depth that I enjoyed. Also, super cool to see the entrances mentioned as well. I get why they're not always mentioned, but I'm of the belief that they add a lot that sometimes may be overlooked.

Once again disappointed I couldn't pull out the victory against Stephen. I thought that I had the edge this week, but I suppose not. Any recommendations on improving my promo or tips would be appreciated.

Loved the brawl at the end of the show. I expected NBE:C and the Alpha Solve to get into it, but the big brawl was the perfect end to a go-home show. I'm unfamiliar with Keith Williams, but given the excitement, I'm definitely glad to have him on board.
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Rob Storm
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Hayden,Mar 17 2017
09:28 PM
I enjoyed Chip's attempts to woo Marilyn. Definitely a high point for the match and added a depth that I enjoyed

Thank you sir. I am very glad it was something you enjoyed. That means a lot to me :)
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ratedgdr
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Hayden,Mar 17 2017
08:28 PM
I enjoyed Chip's attempts to woo Marilyn. Definitely a high point for the match and added a depth that I enjoyed. Also, super cool to see the entrances mentioned as well. I get why they're not always mentioned, but I'm of the belief that they add a lot that sometimes may be overlooked.

Once again disappointed I couldn't pull out the victory against Stephen. I thought that I had the edge this week, but I suppose not. Any recommendations on improving my promo or tips would be appreciated.

Loved the brawl at the end of the show. I expected NBE:C and the Alpha Solve to get into it, but the big brawl was the perfect end to a go-home show. I'm unfamiliar with Keith Williams, but given the excitement, I'm definitely glad to have him on board.

I really don't know what to tell you, man. I've promoed against you in so many feds for almost seven years now and you seem, to me at least, to be as on your game as ever. Maybe someone less familiar could be of more help?

In any event, wasn't happy with my promo. Had an idea, decided to save it for ROAL, hit writer's block, came down with a nasty sinus infection, and crated, well, a thing. Have to be on my best game for next match for sure.
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Steve
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Legend
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Damn, I swore we had one more show before the PPV.....What I've read is good. Really enjoyed the opener and Jack looked brutal out there. I'm very happy where Jack is at the moment in my head creatively and the stories being told weekly really support my vision for him. I'm glad that others see him as I do and put him over that way in matches. I'm even starting to hate the guy. HAHA Really digging it's Jack Manson vs everyone is playing off. Leaves me wondering who's going to set their sights on him next.

More to come......
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Rob Storm
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Hayden,Mar 17 2017
09:28 PM
Once again disappointed I couldn't pull out the victory against Stephen. I thought that I had the edge this week, but I suppose not. Any recommendations on improving my promo or tips would be appreciated.

Sorry that you were asking for feedback and I managed to miss it before. I don't handle judging duties anymore so I can't specifically comment on the match you just had. However, there's really nothing "wrong" I could find on any sort of regular basis studying your work before. I would have thought that a long championship run of some sort would have already been in the cards from way back. So sadly that's about all the commentary I can give other than to say I hope it comes for you soon :)
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Jade Justice
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[align=center]Love the drama within some of the current storylines and look forward to the ppv results on those. I have tried to be slightly less "outgoing" on my terminology but occasionally curse words just fit the situation better for me lol. Jade is like an R-rated version of CM Punk pipe bombs when she speaks. LOL. I'm excited for the ppv. Everyone who rp'd did well I think. Thanks to Dai for being a great rp adversary lol. And if anyone is good at making sigs, message me please, as I request if possible. Great job to the writers, I tried match writing a few times and I am just horrible at it. Like I can call out moves but when it comes to actually putting them to writing...complete flop. Otherwise, I would love to help haha.[/align]
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Digitalwheelin
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This is incomplete feedback, but I wanted to post this now and tomorrow I'll edit this post with what I have left to read of the show.

What a way to open the show with total chaos! Lol. The opening match was great and I loved that Nathaniel pretty much stayed on Joe Stanton the entire time up until the chaos broke out. After the things that Johnny said about Kim wanting Joe more than Nathaniel, it makes perfect sense for Nathaniel to try and stick it to Joe. Lol! Not to mention I think it was a great way to add suspense in a way for the upcoming Nathaniel/Johnny match. In my head, I see it like the fans wanted to get a preview of their match in this opener, and now they have to wait. Lol. Great work there.

The Nathaniel interview bit was a last-minute idea that Lita had pitched to me earlier in the day. The gist of it was meant to be a setup to the promo Johnny cut later in the show. The credit for the promo should really go to her because I literally just had to copy/paste the dialogue she gave me when she pitched the idea with a few minor modifications. I think the end result turned out well for what it was meant to do.

I liked the segment between Johnny and Sakura. You really got a sense of the strained friendship there, not only between Sakura and Johnny, but Sakura and Brittany as well. I like the way that was incorporated into the whole thing, especially at the end of it all.

The promo from Johnny where he announced the 30-minute Iron Man match for RoAL was by far the best part of the show for me. Literally, by the end of it, my exact words out loud were “Jesus Christ, that was fucking awesome.” Absolutely loved that promo and I cannot wait for the Iron Man match now because of it. Lol.

Wow, looks like Mercedes is going out of the frying pan and into the fire going from a ref to a competitor now. I’m honestly excited to see this because I was always a fan of the Mercedes character. I always enjoyed the work Bleak did with her in RP’s and I loved the way she was portrayed in matches and stuff. I’m definitely eager to see Mercedes vs. Xenia.

I always like the segments where the PPV card is summarized along with the logo for whatever upcoming PPV it is. I think it always gives said card a much bigger feel to it, as it should since it’s a PPV. I think we definitely got a good sense of the storylines that we have heading into RoAL and it kind of amped me up for that show even more.

Open the show with chaos and close the show the exact same way. Lol! The Dream/Eversol match was awesome and it made complete sense for it to blow up into complete chaos the way it did specifically because of all the egos that were in or around the ring. Lol. I liked seeing Johnny go straight for Nathaniel and just stick to him like glue. I think that really put over their rivalry and how things have been heating up between them.
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Leucippides
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It's been another bad week for me. Not busy wise, just due in to being a little too stupid I pulled a muscle in my right arm and somehow (jury's still out on that) sprained my left wrist earlier last week. So...writing was essentially out of the question for me. Not to mention I was incredibly lacking in the thinking side of things as well. I was feeling better toward the end of the week so I'm thankful to both Jes and Craig for doing those bits with me so I could actually get on the board.

As for the matches, no real complaints in how Colin and Crystal were portrayed. Colin seemed more disinterested in teaming with Rob, although now I don't know what his future is. :P Crystal still came off as the student, which is good. The only thing I would say was that it was a little difficult reading through her match with the big block of text. I'm not saying it needed more commentary to break it up, but smaller blocks would have been easier to follow along with. That's all. Other than that it was a good match. :)

Also wanted to note, for anyone who noticed, the other week when I posted up that blank promotional material picture...that was Mr. Snibbles. I figured since one of Crystal's old directors got in along with Harley, he needed a spot too. :)
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Craig
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Scope
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New cards are up, little later than planned. I think I had the date wrong in the touring schedule so Lita has used that in the PPV poster, I'm sure she will be along at some point to fix it!

Just a reminder, PreVolt has a deadline a day earlier than for the PPV.

The promo Lita wrote for Johnny was just perfect, absolutely brilliant and will be recorded in my annual awards file.

Writers are muchly welcome and encouraged. There's been a bit of dearth of creativity coming through in recent times so I really want to put out a plea to all. Other than myself, Lita and Wight I've had hardly anything for any OTHER character than somebody's own. If you have ideas for matches, send them through, storylines, angles, anything is worth passing on.

EDIT: After writing this and particularly that last part I picked up a PM where a handler reported that their character hasn't been written as they had hoped. I do think that a response to that is worth putting in the public forum as some others may have the same thoughts and allow me to clarify my thoughts.
- It is fair to have expectations about how your character is written, you created them after all and roleplay them each week. However, if it is the case that your expectations are not met, I would expect some communication in the aftermath, not wait four weeks to get in touch. I read all feedback and if there's not a hint in there, I'm not taking it. Crys has made a point above about the text being broken up, not a problem, can look at that. Wight requested commentary added to the start of a match, that's been done.
- When there is a 10/11 day window or even longer for PPV's, there is plenty of time to get in touch with me or a writer if listed to explain any spots or themes you'd like including. If you don't and then complain the character isn't being written how you'd like, I have very little sympathy. It sends me the other way completely in that in the past I've not wanted to write certain characters because I know their handlers will just find fault.
- Match length for ReVolt's is what it is. Writers give up their time generously and I, along with us all, are extremely grateful for that. I wish more did but we're not all capable, I myself have gone through stages where I'm not able. The bigger matches and ones that have lots of storyline have a few paragraphs, others lower down the card and with little storyline elements have less. If that's an issue, hard luck basically. It's not changing so perhaps you'd be more comfortable elsewhere. It's not a criticism I am willing to take because I have no interest in burning myself or the regularly contributors out. We have 6 PPV's and plenty of opportunity for writing longer matches there.
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Leucippides
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I'm in the camp where I don't mind short results. Just enough to work off of is all I need. :) I'd like to help out with matches and get back into promo writing, but bad luck seems to be following me around a lot. So I don't wanna take something and then flake out because of some incident. Still, I'll try my best to keep in the clear so I can help out here. :)
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Rob Storm
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Mister Snibbles for mayor of Nutty Acres! :)

Reading the edit that Craig left for us gave me food for thought. I pretty much write every week to try and help out. I would encourage anyone who has issues about how I have written their character to contact me. I won't take it personally and it would make me feel better to know that I assisted someone in making their match more enjoyable. I always give my best effort to never make anyone's character look bad. So, if you feel like you didn't get a fair shake, please tell me. Just please, PLEASE don't let anger build up if I do something that makes you unhappy. We can work together and I will be MORE than happy to assist you :)

*hugs*
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Lita Maivia
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Legend
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It was really tough to started on the opening tag match after offering to take it. I sort of regretted it for almost an entire day. But when I started writing it, the ideas just started flowing without any effort whatsoever. The match was basically Nathaniel Alexander vs. Joe Stanton with Jack Jr. and Johnny in their corners, but I think it went well enough that both Nathaniel and Joe looked great, neither had to lose clean because of it, and there's even more anticipation for an actual Nathaniel vs. Joe match now.

The non-match stuff was super fun to write. I was a bit disappointed when Nir wasn't able to get anything up for Joe, but it was so understandable. He and I had plans for two separate joint RPs that I think would have been really great to work on. Shame. I have really liked getting to write Johnny was a bit more of an edge recently thanks to what happened to Brittany, so that ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made; despite being upset that I don't get to play Brittany anymore. I'm glad Steve was happy with what I did with Jack Jr. during all of this. And I hope Bleak is OK with the appearance of Eversol and what he didn't get to do. Lol.

I'm glad Nate was able to knock that Nathaniel promo out of the park in a matter of minutes. It was actually an hour or so from show posting time when Craig contacted me about the idea for the Johnny promo. The Nathaniel promo was one I had brainstormed on earlier in the week as a way to announce the Iron Man match, but I didn't want Johnny to announce it in a backstage segment, so I dumped the idea. When Craig mentioned in the in-ring segment, I knew the Nathaniel portion of the original idea could still work as a precursor.

Speaking of Johnny's promo, thanks to Nate and Craig for the kind words on it. Honestly, that is one the easiest things I've ever written. I mean, it took around 30 minutes to write but lately Johnny's writing has come so effortlessly, so I hope it's enjoyable. I just have so much for him to say and nothing seems to feel like a struggle or forced to get from him. Thanks to Craig for helping facilitate such great stories for him to be a part of. Thanks for suggesting this promo as it might be my favorite thing I've ever written from him. This promo here makes him feel big time to me. Up until now, Johnny has sort of felt like a midcarder trying to play the role of the top guy. Personally, I feel like he turned a corner tonight and that wouldn't have happened without you suggesting this promo.

I'm stunned that Jericho Cruz and Harley won the tag match over the champs. I feel like this duo has been a little lost lately, and not lost in each other either. Honestly, I've got SO MUCH going on with Harley but very few people are even aware. I think only Wight knows entirely what's going on behind the scenes with him, and Crys knows a bit because I got some advice on the subject. So I'm having a blast with him... just not here. I'm not having a bad time with him here, either. Don't get that twisted. He has little reason to win matches here and I'm perfectly okay with that. Still, a win over the tag champs is a nice little perk.

It was nice to get to write with Dai again. Shame Brittany never got the chance to say that stuff to Sakura herself, but I have to note that I did try. Dai and I just never got it down to paper. :\

I've really been enjoying the way Caleb has been written lately and this week's match was no exception. Unfortunately, he's probably the hardest character of mine to write at the moment, but I think that's a good thing as he's my character having the hardest time in his career. I hope the writing is at least matching that in a good way. Lol.

YAY! My idea of Rob Garcia holding Alastor on him in the ropes so he gets disqualified went through! I could totally see Robby G doing that. He's such a lovable heel to me. Like Eddie Guerrero. I'm not surprised Beezlebob wants some of him. A certain blonde probably does as well, to be honest.

So so glad to have Darian Gray back. Matt has been one of my favorite people to write with back when Darian Gray originally tried to break up the Brick Sharks by offering Caleb to be his protege. Such a good promo. I need to dig that back up. Anyway, Darian and Kim have a great connection and I feel like they are so easy to write together. I'm glad Matt came back and wanted to continue being a part of the Coulter Crew. Also thrilled to see Matt still in top form and pick up a huge win in Darian's return.

Looks like Rise of a Legend has got some good matches set up. Pretty eager to see a lot of these play out. Also, I really enjoyed making the Vs screens for these. Struggled until a couple weeks ago when the idea finally came to me.

The main-event... *sigh* This is gonna get messy because SO MUCH happened that I want to cover.

- Gutted that Dream lost and everybody knows I love Eversol. I'm gutted that I had to vote against the Dream this week. And to Hayden, I am sorry to tell you that. You know I <3 you and you know how much I love the Dream. He's one of my favorites on the roster and I truly felt this match was his to win. But the single RP was pretty late in the game - I can forgive it since you've been so good at RPing early and often lately. The single RP had a plethora of typos that I can usually overlook on anyone's work, except when it interrupts the promo because I have to try and figure out what the word was supposed to be. That was, unfortunately, the case more than a few times in this particular piece. It's incredibly unfortunate because I wanted Dream to win so bad. I still do because I love him and he deserves it and so do you. Please don't let this hurt as much as I know it's hurting. As someone who literally flopped big time with her Hellcat, I know how you're feeling but listen to Johnny... it's worth it. Thumbs up, chin up, peanut buttercup. I love you, man.

- I can't say that Eversol's was the best I've ever seen from Bleak this week, but you have done phenomenal in really transitioning Eversol so subtly over the course of the last few months. You have really run with all the storylines that have been going on. Eversol's rude and crude demanor remains intact (and I feel Eversol does this gimmick better than anyone right now) but you have balanced it fantastically with "cleaning him up" for the censors without compromising who he is. The turn he's taken from the attack on Brittany has been incredible and so necessary for Eversol, I feel. Still one of the stand-out characters in the fed even if this particular week felt a little light from Eversol.

- The full fed brawl was great. I too loved that Johnny went right after Nathaniel. I love their rivalry and feel like it gets better every single week. Still hard to believe they have been going at it since Nathaniel's original return back in... 2014?

- KEITH WILLIAMS! Important information for anyone who was not here when Keith was... I love Keith Williams. :wub: I am literally ecstatic that Keith is back but SO BUMMED that he comes back literally the show after Brittany gets taken out with an injury. Grrr! But Jesus, I love Keith Williams. :wub: And what a return for him! No 'stache? Team FIW? Whaaaaaaat?!
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Digitalwheelin
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Nathan
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Lita Maivia,Mar 18 2017
07:44 PM
I too loved that Johnny went right after Nathaniel. I love their rivalry and feel like it gets better every single week. Still hard to believe they have been going at it since Nathaniel's original return back in... 2014?

I couldn't agree more with you on that. Actually, Nathaniel came back in 2015 originally. It was at Hardcore Hangover that year when he hosted the HOF ceremony.

Aside from the stuff that Bleak and I have done with Eversol and Alexander, the Nathaniel/Johnny rivalry is my longest running and by far my favorite rivalry. (Sorry, Bleak :P) I've loved every bit of it up to this point and I'm eager to see what happens at RoAL with it.
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Willie
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Honestly, I had no idea that the Breed were booked as a tag. I either did not process it, didn't see it on the card or it wasn't mentioned at any point. FIW's not been at the forefront of my brain with work and birthday/concert plans, so that's probably part of it. I profoundly apologize, had I known I would have RPed.

Looks like I get a chance to redeem myself with PreVolt. :)

I liked the show a lot, my match was a fun little brawl and set up the end of the show nicely. Darian deserved the win with his stuff, even though he kinda deadline bombed his RP was a sight better than mine so I'm okay with taking the L there, the match was still really even. So, no complaints!

The end of show brawl was awesome. definitely wasn't expecting Keith Williams! That should be an interesting RP cycle for sure. :)
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Willie
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Craig, can you have a peek at your PM please? I want to take a match, specifically the six man. I have a lot of free time this cycle including my birthday and the day after, festivities I have planned aren't till late in the day.

All parties involved, if you have special things you want/need in this match, inbox me please.
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Lita Maivia
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Legend
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Willie,Mar 18 2017
09:16 PM
Darian deserved the win with his stuff, even though he kinda deadline bombed

Just wanna say his first RP was 5 and a half hours before the deadline. I understand how some people might consider that a deadline bomb. Still, I want to add that his RP was just under a day after your RP.
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Hayden
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Regarding typos in my promo: I fully blame that on my mobile device. Even typing this has gotten me three typos I had to fix. I swear to you Lita, I can write clearly. And now that I have a laptop, I should be able to write clearly there.

I understand the criticisms though. My big fear is the typos being so excessive they detract, and they did so at the worst possible time. I shudder to lip vac at Marilyn's and see how many are there.
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Willie
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-=Badd Breed=-
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Lita Maivia,Mar 18 2017
06:30 PM
Willie,Mar 18 2017
09:16 PM
Darian deserved the win with his stuff, even though he kinda deadline bombed

Just wanna say his first RP was 5 and a half hours before the deadline. I understand how some people might consider that a deadline bomb. Still, I want to add that his RP was just under a day after your RP.

Precisely why I stress "kinda" :) He got it in close to the end so I don't have a problem at all with it counting. It just turned Daylight Savings Time on my end of the country so my perception of time is a little screwed up :P
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Lita Maivia
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Legend
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Hayden,Mar 18 2017
10:10 PM
I shudder to lip vac at Marilyn's and see how many are there.

:D I love you and your mobile device. All is forgiven!
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Hayden
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Lita Maivia,Mar 18 2017
07:36 PM
Hayden,Mar 18 2017
10:10 PM
I shudder to lip vac at Marilyn's and see how many are there.

:D I love you and your mobile device. All is forgiven!

Well, that is unfortunate.
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JesTheBarber
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Lita Maivia,Mar 19 2017
12:44 AM
YAY! My idea of Rob Garcia holding Alastor on him in the ropes so he gets disqualified went through! I could totally see Robby G doing that. He's such a lovable heel to me. Like Eddie Guerrero. I'm not surprised Beezlebob wants some of him. A certain blonde probably does as well, to be honest.

Lita that ending was hilarious! When the announcer said "Why cant Rob win a match legitimately" I LOL'ed for that!

Defilooking forward to this cycle of promos! I hope everyone is having as much fun as I am at this.

Edit : stupid phone... Definitely looking**** lol
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