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Confused or at least you will be...; I am after writing it...
Topic Started: Jan 19 2005, 03:55 PM (44 Views)
Xtreme Kitten
Extremely Ordinary
[ *  *  * ]
[Xtreme Kitten is shown sitting in his locker room, he is grey track pants, black joggers, white singlet and his mask]

XK: What the hell is taking? All she has to do is check the card.

[Not long after Xtreme Kitten has finished speaking Lucy bursts into the room. Lucy is wearing a red t-shirt black track pants and black ug-boots]

Lucy: Like I said and just like in footage of Manson said.

XK: Well you can’t trust a word that man says.

[Lucy sits next to Xtreme Kitten]

Lucy: True, but the card says it, Martyn Maivia Verse Xtreme Kitten, in a non title match with Bane Security as special enforcers.

XK: Second time I’ve faced Martyn since becoming apart of F.I.W and it is the second time I’ve been snubbed for a title match against him. Not that it really matters now that I have a championship.

Lucy: Who has a title?

[Xtreme Kitten stares at Lucy]

XK: Not that is matters now that the Ordinary have their championship back.

Lucy: That may be true but aren’t you worried about Bane Security being at ringside? After all look what happened to Onikage?

XK: Um what exactly did happen? Guess I should have been in hind sight.

Lucy: Both of them attacked him when it should have been Dean Verse Onikage one on one.

XK: That explains what you were blabbering about when I was getting ready for my match, well no matter, I took care of Bleak last week, and if needs be I will take them both on this week.

Lucy: And end up like Onikage?

XK: Most likely I’ll deal with that hurdle after I run into in.

Lucy: Good let’s avoid the possibility that you could get jumped by three people.

[Xtreme Kitten looks confused and turns to Lucy]

XK: Three people?

Lucy: Well Martyn Maivia is bound to be around since the match is against him.

XK: It is? It’s non title isn’t it? Two times dammit two times.

Lucy: Um we have already gone over that.

[Xtreme Kitten turns back to the camera]

XK: I know but I just like pointing out the facts.

Lucy: What facts?

XK: Like this is the second time I have been scheduled in a match with Martyn while he holds a singles title and it is the second time it has been non title, I am telling you they are scared. They being Jack Manson and Martyn Maivia.

Lucy: They sure are; their scared that you’ll luck out on them and win the match. But chances of that are slim after all Martyn beat you last time.

XK: Luck, that match could have swayed either way.

Lucy: I don’t think it could have swayed either way, but it could have been knocked either way… you just didn’t know hard enough.

XK: Well this time I am going to knock louder than any opportunity.

[Lucy now looks confused]

Lucy: We weren’t even talking about opportunity.

XK: Well we sort of were, and I couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

Lucy: What about Milkman?

[Xtreme Kitten looks at her]

XK: Let me try it out.

[Kitten turns to the camera]

XK: This time am going to knock louder than any Milkman!

[Xtreme Kitten then shows signs of thinking before turning to Lucy]

XK: I like it.

[Xtreme Kitten turns back to the camera]

XK: This time Martyn, I am going to knock louder then any Milkman, and Martyn I wont be knocking on a door I am going to be knocking on you, so you will be my door and if you don’t answer the door which happens to be you then I will have to kick the door in with the Cat Kick!

Lucy: Is it just me or was that the most confusing way you could have made a generic threat.

XK: Woman! If it is confusing and as long winded of that I think it warrants a title other then the ‘generic’.

Lucy: Fine it was an; original, long winded and confusing threat.

[Xtreme Kitten smiles and almost tackles Lucy off the couch in an attempt to hug her but she slips free and only he gets dumped onto the floor, he lays on the floor staring up at the ceiling]

XK: That describes it perfectly. Now if that it was describing happens even if not perfect I think, no I don’t think

[Lucy cuts him off]

Lucy: stop stating the obvious

[Lucy pauses when Xtreme Kitten sits up and looks at her]

Lucy: you can go on stating the obvious now.

XK: If what I said happens, even if not perfect I am sure I would have pushed hard enough to tip the balance and show Martyn what a real champion is… I mean after all what is he the Slam! International Champion.

[Xtreme Kitten stands up and walks off shot, he steps back into shot holding an FIW Tag Team Championship Belt that has grey sticky tape over the name plate, “Lucy” is written on the sticky tape]

XK: I am a

[Lucy stands up looking a little angry]

XK: I am part of the F.I.W. tag team champions!

[Lucy sits back down smiling]

XK: Do you know what that means Martyn? I don’t think you do, I don’t even think Jack Manson himself knows. I am part of a unit that is not only at the pinnacle of success here on Slam! but on Throwdown or whatever that other show is. I am part of a team that has beaten the best… ok we have beaten the worst each show had to offer and really we didn’t beat the Purist, but we could have and given the chance would have. All you are Martyn all that Slam Intercontinental title means is you aren’t good enough to be number one on Slam!, let’s face it really you had your chance, your time, but obviously something has changed because now it isn’t that you couldn’t have become number one well actually I doubt you could have, but you didn’t even have the balls to find out if you could or couldn’t be number one. You settled on being number two, or whatever that championship you carry actually means these days. Oh wait I know what that title means these days, I know what you have brought to the championship, you brought being a lap dog to a second rate World champion to the SIC. What did the Ordinary bring to the F.I.W. tag team championships? we brought normalcy… ok maybe not, I am a guy who doesn’t mind pretending he is a cat and my tag team partner is a man who talks to stuffed bear, answers to someone he has never seen, and lives in the basement of this very building…

[Xtreme Kitten pauses and thinks about what he just said]

XK: Ha when you say that out loud, I come out looking like the sane and normal one, but that is beside the point. What we brought to the championships is not one thing but many things, we are champions that can be looked up to, we are champions the fans can be proud of, and we are champions that can convincingly impersonate an imaginary Mexican Tag Team. La Emboscada! The Ambush! We are a team of misfits and half wits and we brought that to the tag team championships. And right now I just realised that was probably completely irrelevant.

[Xtreme Kitten looks at Lucy and nods, he shrugs and then sits down on the couch and throws the tag title belt on his shoulder but it rest that only for a short time as Lucy snatches it away]

XK: What is relevant Martyn is that this match isn’t going to be the walk in the park you were hoping for, the last match we had I put up a decent fight, and the way you have been talking about it is making for a much better fight this time round. And Bane Security being at ringside that might stop Nightmare, Hutch, Ragin’ or anyone else you have pissed off as of late kicking your ass, but it wont stop me, you think I am worried about those two of course I am, but since there is nothing I can do the worry is quickly turning to angry and in case you haven’t realised I strike a lot harder when I am angry.

Lucy: So Martyn go to Jack ask for Bane Security to be taken out of this match.

[Xtreme Kitten looks at Lucy with a questioning look on his face or what can be seen of it anyway]

Lucy: What? You’re not the one that has to stand at ringside with them there.

[Xtreme Kitten smirks]

XK: Bleak and Dean both know what happens when anyone touches you, Bleak knows better then Dean so keep an eye on him.

Lucy: Bleak or Dean?

XK: What am I a psychic? Which everyone moves towards you.

Lucy: I see you know the enemy that well.

XK: Everything I knew about them was shoved out of my head when you made me watch the tapes of previous matches.

Lucy: Blaming me are you.

XK: Yes, but don’t worry I am sure they wont do anything if they know what is good for them. Taking out Onikage, that was one thing that will probably get them beaten black and blue… if he wants to deal with it that way, they mess with you, I will go get Umbra myself, me and that filth, demon, four legged.

Lucy: Their called dogs and I am telling you Umbra is gone.

XK: And I am telling you, I saw Umbra walking the hallways.

[Lucy stands up and goes off shot, she comes back without the title belt but with the chain and spiked collar she puts it on Xtreme Kitten and pulls him from the couch]

Lucy: That’s it! I am taking you down to the basement and showing you Umbra isn’t there…

XK: Of course not, the dog is freely roaming the entire building why would be in the basement

[Xtreme Kitten is dragged off shot and then footage ends there]
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Martyn
Wrestler
[ *  * ]
As the footage of Xtreme Kitten ends, footage of Martyn Maivia cuts in. Martyn, somewhat oddly, is stood in an open corridor watching the end of Xtreme Kitten’s promo. He probably saw him on the screen and stopped to see what he had to say, pointless really. Maivia screws up his face in disdain and folds his arm, frowning at the television screen.

“Hey Marty!”

Maivia’s head whips round and the culprit is revealed; Jeff Noon. Jeff power walks to meet the spot on which Maivia is standing and grins at him gormlessly.

Maivia: What did you just call me?

Noon: Um… Martyn?

Maivia: Try again

Noon: …Marty…

Martyn leaps into an attacking position, grabbing Noon by the scruff of his collar and shoving him against a wall.

Maivia: You are not my friend, Noon. I do not care in the slightest for you. Do not talk to me as if I am one of your lowly friends whom you meet at the pub. Your purpose is to stand next to me and ask me questions to which you already know the answer. Do not waste my precious air by talking to me like an unrefined tramp. Is that clear?

Noon nods emphatically and Maivia drops him. Maivia adjusts the Slam! International Championship, which was sitting around his waist and drapes it over his shoulder. Noon rubs the chest of his shirt, ironing out any creases.

Noon: C-C-Could I get some time to ask you a few questions… Sir…?

Maivia: Yes. But be quick. Being a Champion I have important things to do.

Noon’s timid expression turns to one of enlightened joy and he launches himself into the interview.

Noon: Martyn Maivia, you are the holder of one of the most prestigious titles on Slam! The International Title. Your opponent this week, Xtreme Kitten said that the title you hold is worthless and that you’re holding it because you’re not good enough to be number one. Your thoughts?

Maivia bows his head slightly, a besmirched look on his face. He rolls his shoulders and chuckles before rubbing his chin.

Maivia: That pathetic, narrow-minded, dogmatic, bigoted remark is the exact reason why I am holding this title. I am holding this title to save it from the disgraceful past it has been given as of late. I am holding this title to restore its great legacy, which is the exact reason Xtreme Kitten is not facing me in a title match tonight.

Noon: What do you mean?

Maivia: Xtreme Kitten, Noon. For God’s sake! He thinks he’s a fucking cat! He has no right to even be in the same building as me, let alone in the same ring as me. I am leaps and bounds ahead of Xtreme Kitten in terms of intelligence, athleticism, veracity and general astuteness. When he proves he is on the same level as me then, and only then, will Xtreme Kitten join the pecking list; the bottom of the pecking list for the title who’s honour I am reviving.

Noon: Right. You’ve addressed Kitten’s complaints about the lack of a title stipulation—

Martyn cuts Noon off with a palm raised to his face. Being a complete wuss, Noon flinches and Maivia takes the microphone, holding it to his own lips as he speaks.

Maivia: I have just watched the most depressing piece of footage I have seen since I last saw Nightmare in the ring. Xtreme Kitten is a drunken, rambling and what’s more, clinically insane idiot. He has showed complete fallacy and idiocy in claiming that he will not just challenge me later tonight, but that he will beat me!

Maivia chuckles, the thought of Xtreme Kitten beating him is obviously quite amusing.

Maivia: Xtreme Kitten, you’re not in my league. Hell, you’re not even on my playing field! Tonight, I will continue my perfect record against you. I’m one and zero so far and by the time tonight is through I’ll be two and zero. And before your crazy bitch of a manager even contemplates it, if she involves herself or anyone else in that match I will have Bane Security rip her head off and shit down her neck!

With that, Maivia shoves the microphone into Noon’s chest, who has just stumbled back into the picture, before storming off to his locker room to change, ready for the match.




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