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Well, this is it; Triple Threat? What Threat?
Topic Started: Jan 24 2005, 07:22 PM (69 Views)
Hutch
Unregistered

The camera opens in the hall. Jeff Noon is stood outside a locker room with a black plaque, boldly displaying the AnE logo in red and yellow. Jeff looks off camera, and a muted voice can be heard.

Voice: Uhh..... Jeff, we're rolling.

Jeff jumps slightly, but to his credit doesn't miss a beat.

JN: Jeff Noon here with an exclusive scoop, join us after the break when I'll have a no holds barred interview with Hutch, who is in a massive triple threat match for the Number One Contendership to the Slam! International Championship. Exclusive interview, when we get back.

**Commercial Break**

When we come back, as promised, Hutch is stood next to Jeff Noon, jumping from foot to foot, huge grin on his face. He stretches, and stops. He nods to Jeff, signalling for the interview to begin. Jeff takes the cue
.

Jeff: I'm here with.......

Hutch snatches the mic out of Jeff's hand, and pushes him off screen. Jeff lets out a huge "Whoof!" as he crashes into a pile of something off screen. Hutch holds up the mic, and winks to the camera, before beginning to speak.

Hutch: .... He WAS here with Hutch, the greatest athlete ever to compete in the squared circle, the Sultan of Slam, the Crown Prince of Charisma, and Future International Champion!

He pauses for a moment, and closes his eyes, basking in the way that sounds. His eyes spring open, and his trademark grin is immediately in place.

Hutch: This is it. This is my first step on the road to the Grand Slam. It all starts this Thursday, in a triple threat match!

The crowd pops as Hutch mentions the match this Thursday, sure to be a classic contest.

Hutch: The winner will be named the number one contender to the Slam International Championship. I need this. There is no-one on the Slam roster who deserves this title shot more, and I undoubtedly WILL win!

At this point, Jeff Noon staggers back on screen, his hair messed up and his glasses on a slanted angle. Hutch stops, and allows Jeff to straighten his tie and smooth down his hair....... Before pushing him back off screen, complete with the same "Whoof" noise, and the exact same crashing sound. Hutch turns back to the camera and grins.

Hutch: My opponents, a man who incases himself with rubber, and prances around like a cat. Now, I'm not one to judge anyone, but WHAT.... THE HELL...... is THAT about!? I mock, but I've watched nearly every single one of his matches since Xtreme Kitten debut here on Slam. I didn't pay much attention to him, but his manager chick.... *Hutch winks*..... I'd rather it was her in the leather cat suit! And speaking of leather clad leviathans *Hutch holds his hands in front of his chest, miming a substantial pair of breasts*......... This brings me neatly onto Nightmare.

The crowd in the arena pop as the perennial fan favourite is mentioned.

Hutch: Now, Nightmare is no small threat, he's a BIG man, and not one to be messed with. And, it seems, recently he has been in my way every step I make. He makes no secret that he wants the same thing Hutch wants. The thing is.....

Hutch shrugs.

Hutch: I'm just better than him.

The crowd let out an "Ooooo" and a few of them even boo.

Hutch: Just last week, I added two more firsts to my impressive resume, my first leather strap match........ and my first victory in a leather strap match! Hows THAT, for a slice of fried gold??

A few of the crowd cheer as Hutch name-checks his finisher, and coins a new catchphrase. Hutch begins to get worked up, speaking faster and louder.

Hutch: Regardless of who I'm facing, it could be Xtreme Kitten and Nightmare, it could be Onikage and Marc "I'm a shaved gorilla" Malicious, it could be Martyn "I'll soon lose my title" Maivia and World Chump Orion Oldriod, or it could even be Bo and Luke Hazzard, with Daisy Duke at ringside, with interference from the General Lee!

The crowd pop at Hutch's rant.

Hutch: They'll all go down, 1...2......3 and Hutch'll have his hand raised, and announced as....

Hutch adopts a stereotypical "Ring Announcer" voice, a bit similar to Howard Finkel.

Hutch: The NEEEEEEEEWWWWW Number One Contender for the Slam International Championship!!!!!! That's not bravado, that's not boasting....... THAT..... Is........

Hutch stops without completing his catchphrase, grins and walks off screen, dropping the mic. As he leaves the screen, Jeff Noon staggers back on, picking up the mic. He wobbles a bit, steadying himself on his feet. He straightens his tie, smooths down his hair, and holds up the mic. As he opens his mouth to speak, Hutch jumps back onto screen, screaming:

Hutch: BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Jeff tumbles of screen with a girlish scream, and we hear the crashing noise from before. Hutch snatches the mic off Jeff before he stumbles off camera, and looks straight into the camera, completing his catchphrase:

Hutch: THAT.......Is.......THE FUTURE!!

Hutch grins, and the camera turns to black.

FADE OUT
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