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Fairly Odd; And by odd I mean random and ungood
Topic Started: Feb 3 2005, 04:56 PM (38 Views)
Xtreme Kitten
Extremely Ordinary
[ *  *  * ]
[Xtreme Kitten is shown sitting in lounge chair with only his mask and a pair of tiger print boxers on, the camera pans around to a television showing only a blue screen, on top of the television is a VCR just ejected from the VCR is Onikage Déjà vu Promo 2, sitting atop the VCR are tapes marked BS Déjà vu Promo 1, Onikage Déjà vu Promo 1. The camera turns back to Xtreme Kitten as the television turns off]

XK: Well it seems everyone loves the idea of a cage match.

[Kitten slowly turns his attention from the blank television screen to the camera]

XK: I am not happy about it and not just because Bane Security don’t deserve it, but because I have pretty face under this mask and I don’t want it getting ruined…

[Xtreme Kitten looks very serious]

XK: Cage matches draw blood, wounds heal, scar tissue forms in some cases, I don’t like that sound of that, I don’t like the idea of having scars all over my body. Like Onikage said people have no idea who much work we put into our craft, the only thing that take more priority then keeping on top of my game is keeping my body in shape. A body like this just doesn’t come from no where it takes years of weight work and definition exercises.

[Xtreme Kitten then looks over his body and then at the camera]

XK: And I don’t like the idea of my work being ruined by a cage match, I also don’t like the idea of washing blood from my mask.

[Kitten stops and smiles]

XK: But that just won’t happen will it, I am talking as if there was a threat, I am talking as if I was facing the monster Marc Malicious in a cage match, but I’m not. The Ordinary are only facing Bane Security, now they might have got Onikage with a two on one, they might have tipped the scales in Martyn’s favour when I faced him. But they haven’t hurt the Ordinary, they have only been displaying their Talentless ways, their Hackness, they have been proving their nothing but talentless hacks… no they are less then that, even a pair talentless hacks could have taken Onikage out longer then Bane Security did.

[Xtreme Kitten walks over to a second TV with VCR he turns it on and then presses play on the VCR, Kitten stands in front of the television and smiles]

XK: Now although I mightn’t like the idea of a cage match or high flying moves, that was not always the way, I have been in a cage match, a match pretty much like this one… but it was an all talent, all Aussie affair. Now if I cued the tape up properly when I step aside you will see how the last cage match I was in ended.

[Xtreme Kitten steps aside and there is an image of two men standing atop opposite sides of a cage one of two man has their face blurred and if that wasn’t enough of a tell there is a pop up that points to the man that says “Xtreme Kitten”. It is then revealed that there are two men lying in the middle of the ring, Kitten and the unnamed partner leap from the top of the cage landing two variations of a splash. Xtreme Kitten presses pause looks at the camera]

XK: Ah the younger days… probably took a good year maybe year and a half off my career with stupid stunts like that. Now that was three, maybe getting close to four years ago now and a lot of things have changed, I will no longer do stuff like this

[Xtreme Kitten presses play and the two victim double splash from the top of the cage repeats]

XK: But I will do things like this

[The footage shows Xtreme Kitten throwing Dean Venchenzo shoulder first to the ring post]

XK: And this

[Footage is shown of an indy match were someone gets a big boot against the steel cage]

XK: And maybe even something like this

[The footage speeds up and shows footage of people being tackle, thrown, slammed and kicked out of the cage. Xtreme Kitten turns the television off]

XK: I wont ruin our chances at retaining, but it would be nice to put one of you through the door or the wall of the cage, yep sure would be nice.

[Xtreme Kitten pauses and taps his chin like he is thinking]

XK: But which one of you?… which one of you has been the annoying one… I know it was Bleak. Guess that makes Bleak and I the stress testers, I’ll throw him and he will see if the cage breaks of the door gives away. It is be a glorious time, I hope it is a well made cage cause I feel like throwing Bleak into time and time again, maybe and trying to Cat Kick him out, ah great fun it will be.

[The smile on Kitten’s face fades]

XK: Although my fun might be ruined if anyone in camp Manson tries to interfere and luckily right now there is a little well not so little project in the works that might just be able to make sure the fun flows and no one ruins it. I don’t know what the project is I know Lucy knows and she told me… well pretty much what I just said.

[Xtreme Kitten looks around the room for something then shrugs and looks at the camera]

XK: I was about to take my title and talk about what it means to me but it seems Lucy in her inflated egonocity has taken the title belt with her… Give me a second.

[The screen goes black and then fades back; Xtreme Kitten is now standing in the middle of the room in his mask and boxers with the chain Lucy carries sitting on his shoulder like a title belt with the spiked collar placed where the main plate would be]

XK: When the Ordinary first won the tag titles we were robbed of our chance to prove that we were in fact the top team in F.I.W, when we lost them we were robbed by Bleak, a chair and someone taking the opportunity presented to them. But when we won them back it was our crowning achievement, Bane Security and cohorts might think we stole them back, that we had an unfair advantage but that simply isn’t true there were hints before the match the word Gatito means Kitten, the fact that we were the same size… well ok I gained a pound of water weight before the weigh in, that might have had something to do with drinking water right before I weighed in.

[Kitten shakes his head violently and then stares at the screen]

XK: Back on topic, Onikage he is unmistakable no matter how you dress him up, Lucy well she was just obvious to spot I think… wait maybe that is the unfair playing field I keep hearing about, yeah that has to be it. You guys were dealing with an intellect that was beyond your own, don’t feel bad boys Lucy is smarter then well obviously you two, probably Onikage, way smarter then Jack Manson and there is even speculation that she is even smarter then… me.

[Kitten acts shocked]

XK: I know people it doesn’t sound right but who knows it could be true. Anyway even if that wasn’t the unfair advantage it doesn’t matter, they had beaten us before and fairly might I add that once they even did it fairly since it was a rare happening, they should have been able to deal with it.

[Xtreme Kitten gets close to the camera]

XK: I’ll tell you a secret… they didn’t deal with it well.

[Xtreme Kitten steps back to where he was]

XK: They couldn’t deal with it then and come Sunday they wont be able to deal with it. Because I am not about to take it easy because I am afraid to get a scar, in fact it will be the opposite I am going to do my damnedest… to make sure I don’t get a scar, and I am going to do my best to make the titles stay on the best team in F.I.W. The passion for title is only surpassed by my passion for Lucy, destroying the foul best known as cheese cake and beating acceptance into the heads of close minded fools. Bleak and Dean might think I and mine are weird well there are probably people out there that think being a defensive metal head that thinks nothing of attacking minors weird, I have even met people who think sadism is weird, so that makes Dean and Bleak plain old simple freaks, freaks of which there are many. And although I don’t consider them freaks I will gladly taunt, ridicule and beat them for the fans that think they are freaks or just don’t like them. Ah forget that even if you love Bane Security I am going to taunt, ridicule and beat them for you as well, and I do this because I am a giver, a man of the people, not to mention very attached to my title

[Kitten looks at the chain and then looks at the camera grinning almost nervously]

XK: Well when Lucy doesn’t have it, Lucy is another reason I will beat them not only ‘cause she wants me to but because she is very happy carrying around that title and a happy Lucy makes me happy. And the last reason I am going to do it is because I can… and I just noticed I haven’t really said anything about what being a tag team champion means to me, but since I am holding a chain and not at title I don’t really see why I would talk about it… well I have nothing more to say.

[Footage ends]
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