Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Full Intensity Wrestling. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Interviewer : The Legend of Toby Bostock; Also starring Bill Kuriyama
Topic Started: Feb 4 2005, 10:34 AM (91 Views)
Minister Wighty
Member Avatar
Opossum Queen of FIW
Admin
TB: Hello ladies and gents, TNT fans across the globe! Toby Bostock here with the Sex Machine Gun, Bill Kuriyama. You've heard some pretty strong words from your opponent so far, and he seems to have as much spirit as you do to win this match. Thoughts?

Bill Kuriyama has his thumb and forefinger resting against his chin, face etched in thought. His sunglasses are on, he's wearing track pants and a jersey, and he and Toby are outside in the daytime, standing alone in what appears to be a large, abandoned alleyway.

BK: Well, Toblerone, you're right. El Lobo Loco has said a LOT of compelling things. He's spat out who he is, where he's from, what he can do, what he intends to do... but he's wrong on a few things. See--

????: Well if it isn't Toby Bostock!

The cameraman (along with Toby and Bill) turn to see Slam!'s Jeff Noon with his own cameraman strolling up.

TB: Jeff Noon! What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off in England reporting one of those Slam!mers failures?

JN: Ha ha ha. How's it hangin', brosef?

TB: It's straight up, actually, for NUMBER ONE. Like us in the ratings. Hey, Noon, that reminds me! How's it feel to be number two? A little runny?

Toby grins, then leans toward Bill.

TB: See what I did there, number two is like... poop. So that makes it a bigger insult.

BK: Yeah, I caught that, Tobes. Good one.

Bill gives Toby the "you're weird and kinda scary" look, and the two interviewers go back to their spat.

JN: Hey, asshole, you know those ratings are flawed. They don't count houses that have illegal immigrants, and other things of that nature.

TB: Admit it, Jeff, you're just pissed that you're stuck eternally at... number two.

BK: Don't go overusing that, Tobes. Everything in moderation.

TB: Right, right.

JN: Hey, how 'bout you stop conferring with your wrestling butt-buddy over there and get over here, like a MAN!

Bill has to snicker at Toby being called a "man". Toby walks up to Jeff, and the two do that "HHH/Goldberg let's smash our Jew noses together" thing.

TB: You wanna throw down, Noon?

JN: Only if you're not CHICKEN! B'guck!

TB: Oh, we'll throw down, bitch. I hope you brought your piece.

JN: Oh, I got two pieces.

Jeff backs away and puts up his dukes.

JN: I got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary right here!

TB: Oh yeah? Well I got... THE BOSTOCKINATOR!!!

Toby suddenly pulls what looks like a table leg with scissors jammed into it out of his pant leg and weilds it like a mace. Jeff stuffs his hands into his pockets and removes them again with brass knuckles.

????: Not so fast, jive turkeys!

Our cameraman turns and we see S.J. Westfield with a straight razor in one hand and a mic in the other, a cameraman by his side.

SJW: Now you jus' hold up, muthafuckas. We ain't doin' this dance without Rising representin', y'heard?

JN: Oh, so it's gonna be a biracial bloodletting, eh? Fine by me!

TB: Hell yeah! The more the murderey-er!

Bill shakes his head and rubs the bridge of his nose at that bad joke.

TB: The whole of FIW, Slam!, TNT, and Rising throwin' down right here, right now--

????: You think you're gonna have fisticuffs without us?

The camera does move again, first to the left, then up to get the man-giant interviewer from NGIW, Bean Allens, into frame.

BA: You've been standing on top of the wrestling game for too long, FIW. It's time for NGIW to take charge and pacify the competition.

Beans pulls a fencing foil from his hip.

BA: En garde!

The four men encroach upon each other, and wouldn't you know it? Another voice sounds on the horizon.

????: GRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!

The camera moves again to see what appears to be a yeti.

Yeti: Como estan, bitches? Mexican Sasquatch Wrestling's interviewer is here to partayyyy!

He raises his bent lead pipe high in the air and joins the melee. Toby shouts above the growling and nosie of the cameras.

TB: OK! Let me lay down some groud rules. Rule number one! No hitting the face or hair, and no shots to the balls in case we get a girl for being tough dudes!

Everyone in the crowd nods in agreement, Bill standing on the outside looking damn confused.

TB: Hey Sex Machine Gun! You wanna see the dark, seedy underbelly of the interviewer's world? The one they don't show you on those behind the wrestling shows? Then stay for the party! Rule number two... there is no rule number two! Let's fight!

It's insane as the batch of men... and a sasquatch... jump at each other, swinging their weapons. Dust rises as Toby and Jeff square off, Jeff blocking Toby's scissor table leg shots with his mighty brass knucks. We shift to Bean Allens, who charges behind the yeti with his foil, AND SLICES HIS DAMN ARM OFF!!

Yeti: Caramba! That hurts like a chihuaha peeing in your eye!

We rejoin the main melee where it appears as though a cameraman has found a grenade, and is running around screaming with it in his hand. A man runs by in flame, and soon two yetis on horseback throw a net over Jeff Noon and drag him around for a while. Toby rises above the crowd, a trident in his hand, and SPEARS IT THROUGH A YETI'S CHEST! The yeti falls off his horse and topples to the ground as sirens are heard in the distance.

SJW: Bounce! It's the po-po!

Everyone scatters, along with Bill, and the camera feed turns to static.


We fade in what must be a few hours later. Bill, Toby, and the cameraman are chillin' in the arena, in Bill's locker room to be exact.


BK: Boy, that escalated really quickly, didn't it? That got insane!

Toby and the camera nod in agreement, then pound back their IBC root beers.

BK: But you guys kept your head on a swivel, I'm proud of you. That's what you gotta do in a situation like that.

TB: That was fun! There was a man on fire, and horses!

Camerman: Yeah, Toby, you killed a yeti!

BK: Yeah, I saw that! Did you throw a trident?

Toby nods.

TB: There was a guy who got his arm cut off, and I threw a trident! I killed a freakin' bigfoot!

BK: Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably lay low for a while.

TB: That's a good idea. Well, Sex Machine Gun, any final thoughts before I go underground to escape the authorities?

BK: Yeah, sure, why not.

Bill clears his throat and looks to the camera.

BK: Maybe you live your life playing basketball and beating up kids, but I bear witness to back-alley wars between rival announcers... and yetis. This Sunday, Lobo? Bring it. You'll tangle with the greatest damn wrestler on this good green-ness, and you WON'T come out on top.

The scene fades on Bill and Toby clinking their bottles together, and knockin' 'em back.

(OOC NOTE: Yes, this was a stunt that Bill payed for. Special effects and everything. The guy's got a lot of money. He's the FSC, for chrissake.)
[align=center]Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image[/align]
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · Pre-Volt PPV Roleplays · Next Topic »
Add Reply

Black Water created by tiptopolive of the Zetaboards Theme Zone