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Magic cake.
Topic Started: Apr 3 2005, 07:26 AM (42 Views)
Tiff
Unregistered

This is one of those times when smell-o-vision would be so very handy. But since that involves handing out little cards with numbered scratchy places and telling you when to scratch what number…I’ll just tell you that what you would be smelling is cake, really good cake.

The scene finally fades in on Sam Kinloch’s smiling face, and it’s not her normal self satisfied ‘I’m going to kick your ass’ smile, it’s an honest happy smile. He hair is tied back in a normal pony tail.

Sam: Hello every one out there!

The camera pans back and we see that she’s standing behind a kitchen counter, apron on over her t-shirt. There are a few bowls and pans sitting in front of her, also a few ingredients, like eggs.

Sam: Today we are going to be making a cake, but a not just any cake, a very special cake.

Sam nods and reaches for the eggs and breaks two into a small glass bowl.

Sam: We are starting with three eggs, always break your eggs in a separate bowl from the one you have your other ingredients in, just in case the eggs are bad. One bad egg means you have to throw away all your batter and start over from scratch.

Sam adds the eggs to a bowl full of white stuff, it looks fluffy it’s probably flour.

Sam: I’m adding the eggs to two cups of flour, one and one half cups sugar, three and a half teaspoons of baking powder, and one teaspoon of salt.

Sam takes a few steps to her right taking the bowl of dry ingredients with her, a line of clear glass cups come into view as she does this. She grabs the first one.

Sam: One cup milk.

She dumps it in her bowl as she says it, then moves for the second glass.

Sam: One and one half teaspoons vanilla extract.

It’s added to the mix and she moves on to the third.

Sam: One fourth cup shortening.

And the last glass.

Sam: One fourth cup butter.

Sam moves back to her left, where we started out. A whisk, a few spoons and a spatula are now where her egg bowl sat.

Sam: Mix all this together, really well. I recommend using a spoon at first, then going in with your hands when it gets little lumps in it.

But before she does this she holds up the whisk.

Sam: This tool really isn’t a good one for cake batter, it’s really freaking…uh…

Sam tosses the whisk over her shoulder and we hear it hit the floor. She then replaces her bright cheery smile.

Sam: Never mind that last part.

She starts to mix the batter, but doesn’t get it all good and mixed together. Instead she puts the bowl under the counter and comes up with one identical and already mixed. You know how these cooking shows are.

Sam: Once it’s all mixed up just place it in a 9” X 13” greased cooking pan.

Sam pours her batter in to a pre-greased cooking pan and puts it in the oven at her left.

Sam: Bake at 350 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes.

She turns on the oven and sets the timer. Then walks away from the kitchen to take a seat at a dinning room table. She takes off her apron and puts it on the back of her chair.

Sam: I like to read while the cake is baking, I think it’s a really wonderful way to pass the time.

Sam picks up a news paper that just happened to be on the table. She opens it up and reads a bit.

Sam: Oh my goodness! The Pope died, how horrible!

Sam pulls the news paper down from in front of her face.

Sam: I read the other day that Mitch Hedberg was found dead in his hotel room, and I heard today that Johnny Cochrin also died. My heart goes out to all of you who are grieving, though I’d like to remind everyone out there that death is just another part of life and a wonderful excuse for a flower arrangement.

Just as Sam moves her newspaper back up to read some more a ding is heard from the kitchen area. She quickly moves the paper down and smiles.

Sam: Oh! I think our cake is finished!

She jumps up and puts her apron on as she makes her way back to the kitchen, she puts on some oven mitts and opens the oven door.

Sam: Goodness, I wonder how this happened.

Sam bends down and pulls out the cake, though oddly it’s not in the pan we last saw it in, it’s sitting on a cookie sheet. The cake is also not square, instead it seems to spell out something. The camera moves up to see Sam’s face, her normal smile is back, her eyes gleaming, a somewhat evil sounding laugh is escaping her lips.

Sam: Samael…

The cameraman moves closer and gets a good look at the cake and sure enough it spells out Samael in curvy black letters.

Sam: Well, there’s only one thing I can think to do about this.

Sam pulls a sorta familiar looking pan out from under the counter and SLAMS it down on top of the cake. Cake bits shoot out from under the pan…they are blood red…eerie looking actually, like Sam just squashed a cat or something.

Sam: There, that’s better.

Sam starts to walk off and the scene starts to fade…but suddenly she appears right in front of the camera, all we can see is the serious look on her face and the scene fades back in.

Sam: You’re no match for me, you wont get my title, and you are going to end up like that cake…squashed.

Fade.
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