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Protecting the investment; A Jeff Noon interview
Topic Started: Apr 8 2005, 05:32 PM (26 Views)
BleakInfinity
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Bleak
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The scene opens with none other than Jeff Noon strolling along happily, his expression quickly changes however when arrives outside of Bleak's door. He walks up to the door and takes a big gulp as if anticipating some sort of explosion. Jeff Knocks on the door and no one answers, a sound can't be heard either. Jeff begins to walk away when suddenly the door cracks open and Bleak looks around and sees Jeff standing there. Bleak smiles and Jeff's eyes widen in surprise.


Bleak: Was that you just now who knocked on the door?

Jeff hesitates but then answers.

Jeff: Um...yes.

Bleak: Ah, just as I thought.

Jeff swallows for a moment and then continues.

Jeff: Am I in trouble?

Bleak: No, not at all. I was hoping it would be you anyhow.

Jeff's eyes widen in surprise once more.

Jeff: Really?

Bleak: Yeah.

Jeff: Oh ok, I get it. Is Dean in here as well? Are you guys going to pumble me or something? You know, just for laughs.

Bleak looks down at Jeff, confused.

Bleak: No, why?

Jeff: Or are you guys going to give me a swirly or something?

Bleak: No.

Jeff: Well then, what? Cause whatever it is, just do it and get it over with.

Bleak sighs and then pretends to hit Jeff, a la The Rock. Jeff cowers and Bleak laughs hysterically.

Bleak: Would you like to get hit? I mean, were you secretly hoping that I kicked your ass?

Jeff: No I...

Bleak: Are you some sort of sick freak who enjoys pain? Do you like to get off on pain?

Jeff: N...

Bleak: Because I mean if you have a hard on thinking about pain then I might have to really kick your ass.

Jeff: No I don't...

Bleak pretends to hit Jeff again and he cowers in fear. Bleak begins to crack up once more.

Bleak: You are completely pathetic. Look, when I want to kick your ass you don't want me to and then when I have no intention of kicking your ass, you want your ass kicked. Look, I wasn't happy to see you because I like you. What I do know is you're a little piss ant who likes to interview people all of the time and I thought that maybe since you like to bug me so much I could have you be the one to send a message to Hutch and Martyn.

Jeff: Oh, ok.

Bleak: Can you do that?

Jeff: Yes.

Bleak: Are you sure you capable of such a task?

Jeff: Yes.

Bleak: Are you sure?

Jeff: Yes.

Bleak: Very well, then. Now ask me some questions or something.

Jeff takes a deep breath and then composes himself as Bleak looks on with nothing but pity for the little man. Jeff finally collects himself and begins to ask some questions./i]

Jeff: Ok now Bleak. Hutch has been a thorn in the side of Jack Manson for a long while now, initially Martyn was the one who was selected to get rid of Jack Manson's problems, so to speak. Do you believe that Martyn has dropped the ball, in that respect?

Bleak: Martyn has not only dropped the ball but the ball has rolled into the street and been run over by an 18 wheeler. Yes, Martyn had the task originally, but as I said before he couldn't cut the mustard. But Jack Manson saw me kick Hutch's ass a couple weeks ago and then be the one to get the win for his team a week later and he sent me in to clean up Martyn's mess. You see, Martyn is much like Hutch, selfish. Like I said, Hutch thinks only of gaining his precious grand slam title and therefore cares nothing about anything else. Martyn does the same with his actions, he mouths off to Jack Manson, he leaves team mates hanging when they need him and he even left poor Tom in the ring to be slaughtered a couple of weeks ago. Martyn seems to think this is team Martyn, when this is a team of elite stars who were selected by Jack Manson to watch his back and Jack throws us a bone in return. I don't think Martyn understands the process and therefore, I will take his title from him this Sunday to protect Jack Manson's investment.

Jeff: Martyn said that you would hand him his title if you should win the match, is that true?

Bleak looks over at Jeff, wondering how he could ask such a question.

Bleak: What do you think?

Jeff: I'm not sure.

Bleak: Well, I'll tell you the answer...bullshit! The whole notion of me laying down for anyone is complete bullshit! I've never laid down for anyone since entering FIW and I do not intend to start now for Martyn. If Martyn wants to keep his title he's going to need to fight off not only Hutch but me as well, I will not be there to watch his back! I am simply there to make sure that the title leaves with the right person to protect Jack Manson's investment, and that person is me. Now, if Martyn shows he's on the team then I might cut him some slack but as it stands, he is not playing with the team. It's time for someone new to step up and take what's theirs, that person is me.

Jeff: Well then Bleak, thank you very much for speaking with me today.

Bleak smiles and then answers.

Bleak: The pleasure is all yours, Jeff.

Bleak smiles once more, cockily and then shuts the door.
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