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Tuesday Night Throwdown; July 25, 2006
Topic Started: Jul 26 2006, 03:27 AM (159 Views)
Lita Maivia
Member Avatar
Legend
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
[align=center]Rolling Suicide[/align]

The sound of drum sticks clicking together is heard, and Daron Malakian’s guitar part kicks in as System of a Down’s “Chop Suey!” accompanies the images flashing on the screen, in time with the rhythm. Images of Madison Lee, Kennedy, Swytch, Kailey Lane, Dante Coles, Ragin', and Jim O'Brien all appear on the screen, as the drum beat becomes louder, and the riff escalates!

[align=center]Wake Up![/align]

Madison Lee stares down the camera, raising her chin defiantly.

[align=center]Grab a brush and put a little makeup[/align]

Swytch yanks the steel chair from the referee's hands as Kennedy tries again to reclaim her feet. Tony Clarke moves up on Swytch JUST AS HE BLASTS KENNEDY IN THE FACE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!

[align=center]Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup,

*Whispered* Hide the scars to fade away the…
[/align]

Kailey sprints off the ropes, purposely right where Madison is, SMACKING THE GM WITH A BACK ELBOW!! Madison goes flying off the apron and crashes to the floor at ringside! Kailey runs at Nadia as the Russian is climbing back up! Kailey takes Nadia over with a headscissors-- NO! Kailey spins all the way around and BRINGS NADIA DOWN WITH A DDT!!!

[align=center]Why dya leave the keys upon the table,

Here ya go create another fable!
[/align]

The cage suddenly ignites as Swytch flips away, setting the entire structure ablaze! Swytch completes his split-legged moonsault thanks to the longer fall and COLLIDES with Tier, GRINDING his body into the thumbtacks!!

[align=center]You wanted to!

Grab a brush and put a little makeup
[/align]

Kendra spins her opponent around, hooks her up and THROWS HER OVER HER HEAD WITH A WRIST-CLUTCH EXPLODER!!!

[align=center]You wanted to!

Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
[/align]

Graver moves toward April and plunks her on the top rope in a sitting position before he himself climbs to the second rope, standing her up and grabbing her around the neck. Unfortunately, this “Big BAM!” never happens, as April shoves Graver off and he stumbles to the mat. He turns around, pissed-off, but it doesn’t last as April CAREENS off the top rope and DRIVES HIS FACE INTO THE MAT WITH A BULLDOG!!

[align=center]You wanted to!

Why dya leave the keys upon the table?
[/align]

Swytch runs at Maclay just as he spins around, then jumps onto his shoulders BUT MACLAY DUCKS HIS HEAD DOWN!! MACLAY STANDS UP HANGING SWYTCH DOWN HIS BACK AND HOOKS SWYTCH’S LEGS UP!! Maclay lets out a bestial cry AND STEPS OFF THE WALKWAY… BUT THE CROWD EXPLODES AS SWYTCH GRABS HOLD OF THE WALKWAY AND MACLAY CRASHES DOWN ASS FIRST ON THE CANVAS!!

[align=center]You wanted to![/align]

The music slows down, as a slow-mo image of Kennedy's foot connecting with Dante's head in a JFK is shown.

[align=center]I don’t think you trust, in, my, self righteous suicide…[/align]

Alex spins him around, boots Loon in the midsection and DROPS HIM WITH A SPINNING KI-KRUSHER MANEUVER! Alex pops back up to his feet, raising his arms in the air

[align=center] I, cry, when angels deserve to DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE![/align]

The riff increases in volume again, as John Dolmayan batters the sh*t out of his drumkit!

At the exact same time as Kailey is dodging Natalya, Ragin’ steps between the ropes. Kailey turns quickly almost bumping into Ragin’ and their eyes meet. The steel chair swings, seemingly in slow motion to all who are watching. His eyes never leave Kailey, her face scrunching up to brace for the impact. But it never comes. She opens her eyes as she hears the loud crack and the ‘ohhhhh!’ from the fans. She turns to see Natalya laying flat out moments after the sickening impact.

Even with the mask on, you know Oni's gotta be smiling ear to ear with that manuever. He raises a fist to the air, nodding in self appreciation of his work. He grabs ahold of Shannon and brings him to his feet. He scoops Shannon up INTO AN ARGENTINE BACKBREAKER!

Swytch rears back with the steel chair, aiming at Kennedy's head and CRACKS STEEL AGAINST STEEL AS KENNEDY DUCKS ASIDE! The steel chair clatters to the ringside mats as Swytch's hands throb from the impact! Kennedy leaps up onto the steel steps and jumps onto Swytch's shoulders, DRIVING HIS HEAD INTO THE FLOOR WITH A HURRACANRANA!

[align=center]ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Wake Up!

*Whispered* Wake up
[/align]

Dante climbs up to his feet and pulls Ragin’ up, tucking his head between his legs. Kailey is on the floor, screaming at Dante to get back in the ring. Dante looks down at her and that’s a mistake BECAUSE RAGIN’ RISES UP SENDING DANTE OVER WITH A BACKDROP AND CRASHING BACK DOWN THROUGH THE JAPANESE ANNOUNCE DESK!!

[align=center]Grab a brush and put a little makeup[/align]

Remy runs toward Rick almost from behind AND HE PLANTS HIS LEG AND WHACKS RICK ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE BOURBON STREET BLUES!

Ninja scribbles on his sign on the top rope before holding it up for all to see… "DANGEROUS~~!!!" The crowd go crazy as Melanie turns around just in time for Ninja perform a SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO HER!! Both crash to the canvas, Ninja on top and Melanie on the bottom!

[align=center]Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup[/align]

Dante thinks quickly and drives the point of his elbow between Hype’s shoulder blades!! He rehooks the arm THEN DRAGS HYPE OVER THE LADDER AND DRIVES HIM ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR DRILLING HIS SKULL INTO THE FLOOR!!

[align=center]Why dya leave the keys upon the table[/align]

Jim hits a knee into his opponent's midsection, escaping the chancerie. Jim swiftly gets behind, locking in a double chickenwing AND WITH GREAT STRENGTH and FORCE, JIM LAUNCHES THE OPPONENT WITH A TIGER SUPLEX! THE OPPONENT LANDS HEAD FIRST INTO THE RING STEPS AT A SICK, SICK ANGLE!

[align=center]Here ya go create another fable!

You wanted to!
[/align]

Maclay gets to his feet and pulls Swytch up. He ducks his head down and lifts Swytch up draping him down his back. Maclay’s lips curl into a grin as he hangs onto Swytch’s leg, but Swytch digs down and tries to fight back. He straightens his back and tries to punch Maclay in the back, but that only angers the beast further. Maclay tries to get Swytch back into position but Swytch snaps his torso down FLIPPING MACLAY AROUND AND DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE DESK WITH A FLIPPING PILEDRIVER!!

[align=center]Grab a brush and put a little makeup

You wanted to!
[/align]

Once Graver is at a steady enough vertical base, APRIL LEAPS FROM THE TURNBUCKLE AND CONNECTS WITH A SOMERSAULT SEATED SENTON PN GRAVER!

[align=center]Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup

You wanted to!
[/align]

Dante bounces off the far ropes and rushes back across the ring THEN LEAPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRASHES THROUGH MACLAY AND THE TABLE TO THE FLOOR!!

[align=center]Why dya leave the keys upon the table

You wanted to!
[/align]

Kennedy bounces off the ropes and leaps up and spins around going into a wheel barrow position. She pushes off the canvas and grabs Ragin’ around the head, but he ducks his head out of her grasp and sits out PLANTING KENNEDY FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A SITOUT FACEBUSTER!!

[align=center]I don’t think you trust, in, my, self righteous suicide…[/align]

With Dante standing on shakily, Maclay ducks his head down between Dante’s legs. He starts to rise but gets a forearm shot in his kidneys! Dante raises his arm up AND HAMMERS ANOTHER SHOT TO MACLAY’S KIDNEYS!! The Essex Beast falters a bit and Dante hooks him around the waist then hoists Maclay up AND POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE DESK!!

[align=center] I, cry, when angels deserve to dieeeeeeeeeeeee, in, my self righteous suicide…..[/align]

Kailey runs in and butts the extinguisher into Nadia's stomach, doubling her over! Kailey throws the extinguisher aside before shoving Nadia's head between her legs. Kailey glances out into the crowd before hoisting Nadia up in a Crucifix! Kailey sits out DROPPING NADIA FACE-FIRST INTO THE CANVAS WITH A CRUCIFIX REVERSE FACE DRIVER!!

[align=center]…I cry, when angels deserve to Die.[/align]

The riff perks up again… BAMMM!!!!!!! THE COMMENTATORS GASP FOR AIR AS DANTE LIFTS JIM UP BY HIS OWN ARM AND HIS BRITCHES, CAUSING JIM TO RELIEVE SOME OF THE PAIN AS DANTE SPINS AND DROPS JIM RIGHT DOWN ON HIS HEAD WITH THE SICKEST FUCKING FALL FROM GRACE YOU’VE EVER FUCKING SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snatching Onikage by his leather mask Jim runs his thumb across his throat and shouts out “BURNING! HAMMER!” The fans go into frenzy as Jim lifts Onikage up onto his shoulders and sets him up. The Monster of TNT walks around with Onikage on his shoulders for a few seconds to allow each side of the arena to see it. He then drives Onikage skull first into the canvas with the Burning Hammer!

Maclay pulls Swytch into a side headlock and starts to climb the ladder, dragging Swytch up behind him. Step by step, rung by rung, Maclay pulls Swytch toward the top of the ladder. Maclay reaches the second to top step, carefully sharing half of it with Swytch. Maclay ducks his head down… and tucks his head between Swytch’s legs… Maclay starts to rise up… BUT SWYTCH FLIPS HIS LEGS AROUND AND GRABS MACLAY AROUND THE NECK, DRAGGING HIM OFF THE LADDER AND DRILLING HIS SKULL INTO THE MAT!!

The riff continues, until it stops dead, and the fans can be heard to cheering in the background, as the TNT Logo flashes up on the screen…


[align=center]Posted Image[/align]

…Suddenly, the camera switches to the arena and TNT is underway!!! Chop Suey! Blares all around the arena once more, as the camera switches to the announce team.

JH: Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin LIVE for Tuesday Night Throwdown! I am Jonathan Hitchen, alongside my broadcast partner, Thomas Moore!

TM: And tonight--

[align=center]"MY COCK IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS!"[/align]

TM: And tonight we're starting with Graver! Excellent!

Darren Malakian's high-pitched and strained vocals shock the system as he and Serj Tankian rock System of a Down's "Cigaro" into our eardrums. Strobe lights flash from the entryway in time with the jamming guitar. Graver strolls out onstage with a beer in hand and the title over his shoulder, followed by Smarty Smark, Kenny Freemonte, Paper Bag Man, and Extreme Ninja #2. He takes a deep swig, giving an absent-minded set of horns to the fans. They boo him, and the horns soon turn into a middle finger.

MA: The following non-title match is scheduled for ONE fall, and is NO disqualification!

JH: No disqualification!?

TM: Yeah. Always has been. Jeeze, where have you been?

MA:Making his way to the ring, from Detroit, Michigan... he weighs in tonight at ONE-hundred NINETY pounds... Being accompanied by Smarty Smark, Cruiserweight Champion Extreme Ninja #2, Kenny Freemonte and Paper Bag Man… he is your FIGHTING SPIRIT CHAMPION... ... GRRRRRRRAAAAAAYYYYVEEEERRRRRRR!!!

Graver makes his way down the walkway to the ring, stepping under the top rope and pausing to take a look at all the fans. They boo the piss out of him, and he waves them off. Graver quickly chugs the remaining portion of his beer before removing his belt, hat, and other accessories, handing them to a ring monkey with a stern warning not to "get them all fucked up".

Cult of Personality bursts through the PA and as the drums kick in, Loon makes his way out, with a big smile. He jumps into the air as red pyros go BOOM! and he runs down the wooden catwalk and over the ropes and into the ring. He climbs up on the upper-right turnbuckle and raises his hands as the crowd roars. He goes to the opposite turnbuckle and does the same, to the same cheap pop.

MA: And his opponent… from Milan, Illinois… he is THE LOOOOOOON… TWOOOOOO POOOOOOINT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

He then hops down, loosens his neck, and turns to the stage, taking a mic out of his belt.

Loon: Graver! You jerkass. You think you’re gonna beat me ‘cuz you’ve got a coupla crotch-sniffers and a ninja in your corner? Well what say we even the odds?

Loon drops the mic and raises his arms like “bring it” as some folks move through the audience and hop over the barricade to ringside.

TM: What the hell!?

JH: Look at this, Thomas! It’s Ben Wesmorland, Loon’s trainer! And Bill Pumpernickel, the midget pimp!

TM: Midget pimp!? Is he an NGIW reject or something!?

JH: And it’s Wightraven!

Indeed, the former V general manager steps over the barricade, dusting himself off before moving to stand at Loon’s side. He appears to be holding a small chihuahua-like dog under his arm.

TM: So Graver’s got the awesomeness that is the Cruiserweight champion, his own trainee Kenny, Smarty Smark and Pee Bee Em in his corner, and Loon has a fat, washed-up has-been, the crown prince of horror crap, a midget pimp, and a little dog?

JH: Loon’s friends might not be much, but they sure do have his back!

TM: One’s a freakin’ dog!

The bell finally rings signaling the match is underway. Graver shakes his head, rolls his eyes and laughs at Loon, and that’s the perfect opportunity for him to charge forward and leap into a flipping lariat THAT TAKES GRAVER TO THE OUTSIDE!

JH: Good lord! Loon’s starting this match off right!

TM: It’s not gonna stay that way, dammit! Graver’s far too awesome to go down for Loon!

Loon skins the cat back into the ring, sticks his thumb to his nose and pokes his tongue out, wiggling his fingers in taunt. Graver narrows his eyes at him and dashes back into the ring-- no! He stops short and grabs Loon’s legs, YANKING them out from under him!

JH: That’s a dirty trick!

Graver pulls Loon to the outside, hitting a small clothesline as Loon slides under the ropes. Richard Kelly sees what Graver’s doing there, and initiates his twenty count.

[align=center]ONE![/align]

TM: Of course it’s a dirty trick. When does Graver do ANYTHING else. Did you not SEE his match with Onikage last week?

[align=center]TWO![/align]

Almost immediately, Smarty, PBM, and Kenny walk over to Loon and start laying boots into him. Smarty backs away and just seems to be shouting orders as Ninja looks on. Suddenly, around the bend comes Loon’s backup of Ben, Bill, Wight, and a dog. The Managerial Firm backs off, holding their hands up in innocence.

[align=center]THREE![/align]

[align=center]FOUR![/align]

JH: Why is RK not disqualifying them? This is absurd!

TM: Because it’s a no disqualification match!

[align=center]FIVE![/align]

JH: Everyone keeps saying that! When the hell did Madison say that?

TM: Madison didn’t, Smarty did. Him and Benjamin Franklin, right before the match!

[align=center]SIX![/align]

JH: This is just a perversion of professional wrestling!

TM: You’re just mad ‘cuz your boy’s getting beat down!

[align=center]SEVEN![/align]

JH: He was doing well before this travesty started!

TM: He hit one move!

[align=center]EIGHT![/align]

Graver rolls Loon back into the ring ‘cuz he’s tired of hearing RK count. The slimy FSC engages a lateral press, and RK drops to count.

[align=center]ONE!

NO! Loon kicks out before two![/align]

JH: Well it’s good to see Loon’s not out of this yet, despite insurmountable effort to the contrary…

TM: Hey, Loon’s got his guys out there too. They just happen to be less quick on the draw. Maybe it’s ‘cuz they’re all fatasses.

JH: You’re one to talk there, Mr. five-bags-of-pork-rinds-a-night.

TM: I eat them for medical reasons! … because they’re medically delicious!

Loon fires a palm into Graver’s nose, causing the champion to reel backward, giving Loon room to breathe and stand up. Graver wheels toward the turnbuckle, and Loon takes the opportunity to charge the ropes, springboard off, and NAIL Graver with a missile dropkick!

JH: Beautiful triangle dropkick from Loon!

TM: Flippy floppy crap.

Graver hit’s the canvas, but rises again fairly quickly. Loon’s ready for him, running up and grabbing his head in a loose chancerie, and DRIVING him into the mat with a falling neckbreaker!

JH: Shades of Diamond Dallas Paige there with that neckbreaker!

TM: I think you’ll find DDP used a front-face DDT, not a neckbreaker.

JH: I think you’ll find my sensible leather wing-tip up your ass if you don’t shut it!

Loon skids across the ring but quickly charges to his feet. He runs for the ropes, pounces on, and FLIES off with a corkscrew moonsault… THAT TASTES CANVAS!!!

JH: I can’t believe he missed!

TM: I can’t believe you expected him NOT to.

Graver gets to his feet, slightly worn out from Loon’s high energy bouncing… and his near-permanent drunken state. He shakes his head and exits the ring on his side.

JH: I don’t like where this is going…

TM: You don’t like where anything cool is going.

JH: I was excited to see my foot up your ass.

TM: You’re excited about sucking Hulk Hogan’s sweaty nutsack, too, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen.

Ew. Graver dives under the apron and returns with a steel chair in hand. He raises it proudly before it GETS BASEBALL SLID BACK INTO HIS FACE!!

JH: YES! Go Loon!

Sybil?

TM: That little bastard! Get ‘im, Paper Bag Man!

PBM grabs Loon by the legs (per Smarty’s orders) and starts punching him in the back of the knees. Suddenly we hear a few barks, and a tan flash dives for PBM’s general crotch-region, clamping on hard!

TM: ACK! That little dog is eating Pee Bee Em’s crotch! Somebody stop it!

Smarty doesn’t seem overly concerned, instead ordering Ninja to go attack Loon. Ninja looks toward Smarty with an odd tilt of the head, but there’s no real time for action as Ben Wesmorland CLOCKS SMARTY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!

JH: Yes! Stop this damn interference!

TM: Smarty was innocent! What’d he do!?

Bill the midget isn’t far behind, whacking Kenny in the kneecaps with his cane. Ninja and Wight sot of stand back from the mess, observing. In all the madness, Loon manages to find his feet. He rolls Graver back into the ring, grabs the chair, and climbs to the top rope.

TM: What the hell is that idiot doing?

JH: We’re in the high-rent district!

Loon points to the sky, shouting something unintelligible to his fans, who cheer. He then performs a somersault dive off the top rope, placing the chair under his body as he goes, and CRASHES into Graver’s body!

JH: Faith No More with the steel chair! What a painful move!

Loon rolls Graver up holding on tight. RK slides into place and counts…

[align=center]ONE![/align]


[align=center]TWO![/align]





[align=center]THREE!




NO! Graver gets a shoulder up!









BUT IT‘S TOO LATE! RK CALLS FOR THE BELL![/align]

MA: Your winner, by pinfall… THE LOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!

Everyone sorta stops fighting and looks up at the victorious Loon. Ben and Bill cheer him on while Smarty and co. drag Graver out of the ring and high-tail it to the back to save face and act like they were never there.

JH: Loon picks up an impressive victory against the Fighting Spirit Champion here tonight! And at Dangerous Liaisons he will be challenging for the Cruiserweight Championship! Things just keep getting better and better for Loon!

TM: I hope you're not seguing into what I think you're seguing into!

JH: The commercial!

TM: It's a goat! Not a dog!

JH: Well, either way, Loon's goat Chuckles has scored national success filming a commercial for Covetous Canine dog food. We've got the premiere of the commercial here tonight, folks. Check it out!

[align=center]*Commercial Break*[/align]

We take a break from our precious TNT to find ourselves in a white-collar suburban backyard. We see a goat eating out of a dog food bowl and a child's voiceover, much like the ones on the Mac & Cheese commercials, sounds in over some salsa dance music.

Voice: Hi! I'm Chuckles!

The goat shakes its head and does a typical goat "Ma-aaa-aaa" to signify that he is Chuckles and goes back to eating his dog food.

Chuckles: And there isn't a thing I like to do better then sit in my backyard and eat my Covetous Canine dog food!

The goat shakes its head again and licks its lips.

Chuckles: Even if it isn't my backyard, or my dog food!

We suddenly hear a barking and Chuckles gets up and runs, as a pit bull chases him out of the yard, but is yanked back by his chain and Chuckles manages a safe escape. We zoom in on the dog food bowl and see it says BUTCH and we fade to a black screen with a bag of Covetous Canine dog food and a marquee that says"The dog food that goats well with dogs!"

Heavy metal guitars blast our eardrums as Rob Zombie‘s “American Witch” fucks our frontal lobes. The lights drop as the guitars scream, and a purple glow emanates from the screen at the entrance. The black silhouette of an oversized poppet fills it as lasers above the stage trace a purple circle.

[align=center]Body of a monkey and the feet of the cock
Dragged from her home on the killing rock
Black dog died on a weather vane
The devil‘s in a cat and the baby‘s brain
[/align]
BAMF! Purple fireworks erupt from the stage, and when they die we see Sam Kinloch standing in the circle. She smirks as the lights raise and she walks to flashing purple strobes to the ring.

JH: For the first time in a long time, the FIW Tag Team Titles are about to be defended.

TM: Yeah, but it’s the two biggest guys in the western hemisphere versus Sam and Kailey. Carl and cowboy have eaten bigger steaks then these two.

[align=center]The end, the end of the American…
The end, the end of the American…
The end, the end of the American…
WITCH
[/align]

MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the FIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing first, now residing in Oakdale, Louisiana, SAM, KIIIIIIINLOOOOOOOOOCH!!!

The lights suddenly cut again, Sam center-ring. The music hits an eerie interlude, and as the guitar rocks back in, the lights above spark and pop, returning to life as Sam leans into her corner, waiting the beginning of the match

"Defy You" by Offspring begins to play and Kailey strides toward the ring, waving to the fans and acknowledging those with signs and banners with a thumbs up.

JH: This is going to be an interesting challenge for Kailey, having to fight one of best friends.

TM: More so for Carl I’d say. Kailey will go out there and do what she has to do, Carl on the other hand is a pussy who probably hesitate and end up lose the titles for his team.

When she reaches the ring, she slides in between the middle and top ropes then waves to the crowd before moving to her corner to psyche up.

MA: And her partner, from Nashville, Tennessee, KAILEEEEEEY, LAAAAAAAAANE!!!!

[align=center]"Adelante, amigos!"[/align]

A driving chord from Rammstein's Richard Kruspe-Bernstein begins "Te Quiero Puta". The thundering chords and accompanying Mariachi music don't quite match the lack of light in the arena. Flames suddenly illuminate the form of the skull cowboy onstage. A loud "CAW!" is heard and Nemesio soars down from the rafters to find a perch on the cowboy's left shoulder as the music softens and the flames rise higher, threatening to consume them.

MA: Ladies and gentlemen... making his way to the ring, from Angel Fire, New Mexico... he is the LARGEST MAN in FIW and one half of the FIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOOONS!... he is... the SKUUUUULLLLLLLL... COOOOOOOOWWWWBOOOOOOOOOOOYYYY!!!

JH: Never ceases to amaze me the sheer size of this beast. How the hell anyone steps in the ring with him is beyond me.

The flames EXPLODE from the stage and disappear suddenly, leaving only the dead stare of the skull cowboy. He stalks to the ring, stepping over the top rope. The skull cowboy whisks off his hat and shrugs out of his coat, hanging them both on his turnbuckle. The raven flies off as the coat leaves cowboy's shoulders, doing a lap about the ring until he finds a resting spot atop the hat, and the cowboy awaits the start of the match.

“Hey Now” hits the speakers and the crowd explode for their favourite silent giant. Strobes search the auditorium before returning to the entranceway to pick out his massive silhouette cast against the entrance.

[align=center]I'm a menace to society baby
The police wanna relocate me
They running with gun up but they can't fade me
They wanted to come up but they ain't crazy
I ride one in the chamber, gun on cock
'6-tre Chevrolet rollin without no top
Got them hydraulics that's dumping, making it drop
California to Virginia Timmy making it hot
[/align]

He steps forward onto the walkway, his title belt sparkling under the house lights, his eyes focused completely on the ring. He begins their trek toward the ring remaining as stoic as ever.

JH: This is such a huge team right here, Kailey and Sam are in for an uphill struggle.

[align=center]Taking long rides in the G4 plane
X Man to the stage, got 'em going insane
Yeah! Got the world saying my name
I'm bout to make a little change, I'ma keep it the same, ya dig
X to the Z baby, run up on you hitting corners
Phantom platinum grill
X be the life of the party, c'mon!
Don't be scared girl, reach out and touch somebody
[/align]

MA: And his partner, from New Orleans, Louisiana, weighing in at 338lbs, he is one half of the FIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOOOONS! CAAAAARL, LUUUUUUCAAAAAAAS!!!

As the chorus kicks in the Cajun reach the ring and steps in over the top rope. He removes his strap and hands it to the ref before walking across the ring, grabbing a hold of the top set of cables and tugging at them as if to test their integrity. Seemingly happy they can hold his weight, Carl turns back and smiles almost nervously at his good friend and challenger, Kailey Lane, who returns the expression.

JH: Well here we go, this is going to be such an interesting match to watch unfold. I don’t think anyone can predict how these four are going to interact.

Michaela Menendez is your referee for this contest and she takes the time to explain the rules to all four competitors. They each nod, part listening to her, part glancing across the ring at their opponents, part discussing strategy with each other. Kailey steps forward for the challengers and it looks as though the cowboy will be starting things off…or maybe not as Carl steps forward and puts an arm across the skulled one’s chest, stopping him in his tracks.

TM: See, I would of thought that pussy Carl would want nothing to do with his little girl toy in this match.

JH: I think he’s trying to protect Kailey from the wrath of the cowboy.

Whatever his motive, Carl stares down the cowboy until he backs up and exits onto the apron. So too does Sam and the just good friends are left to face each other.

DING! DING!

Both parties step out of their corners and toward the centre of the ring, eyeing each other cautiously as they begin to slowly circle. It’s Kailey who makes the first move as she darts in and throws a quick kick to Carl’s thigh before darting back out of reach of his flailing arms. She avoids him with ease before darting back in once more with another kick to the same spot, causing the big man to flinch slightly as she backs away. He moves in for a grab but the southern belle ducks and rolls herself behind him, popping up with a Dropkick that takes the giant’s left wheel out form under him and drops him to a knee.

JH: A good start from Kailey, she doesn’t seem to be letting their friendship get in the way of what should be an excellent opportunity for these girls.

TM: Plus Carl’s a pussy.

JH: Stop saying that.

Kailey is quick to her feet and already bouncing off the ropes behind Carl as he starts to push himself back up, but before he can achieve full verticality Kailey comes dashing back in with a beautiful Spinning Wheel Kick to the back of the big feller’s head! He topples forward to the canvas and flips over onto his front, his giant hands shooting up to cradle his skull as Kailey throws herself off the side set of ropes and comes back with a SNAPPING Leg Drop across his throat! Kailey pins!

[align=center]One![/align]

And that’s about as far as Michaela gets as Kailey is THROWN off Carl’s torso. She rolls onto the canvas and up to a knee as Carl mimics the action on the opposite side of the ring. A smile curls his lips, also mirrored by Kailey as she winks in friendly competition.

TM: Oh isn’t it sweet. Take her head off already!

JH: I think this is great, it’s how this sport should be played, with friendly competition and good sportsmanship.

TM: Puss -- ey.

JH: *sigh*

Kailey is the first to her feet as she sprints off the canvas and covers the width of the ring in record time. She spins as she reaches the other side, looking to plant a boot into the big man’s temple but finding only air as he rolls deftly out of the way. Kailey lands on her feet and spins round to find her arm wrist plucked away and herself whipped across the ring! She bounces off the ropes and runs straight into the arms of the waiting Carl who scoops her up and SLAMS her back onto the canvas with a Sidewalk Slam!

TM: That’s more like it.

Carl rolls off and takes to his feet, reaching down and gently guiding Kailey up with him before scooping her up and once more SLAMMING her back first into the canvas with a Scoop Slam!

JH: Such a simple move made devastating when that much power and height is put behind it.

Kailey’s back arches in pain and Carl…hesitates. He looks down on his friend and apparently rethinks whatever he was about to do, instead dropping down into a cover.

[align=center]One!

Two -- Kickout!
[/align]

Kailey throws a shoulder up and Carl pulls himself away, giving her room to get up.

TM: I told you. He hesitated, he should have kept on her, worked that back and then put her away.

JH: It’s not that simple.

TM: It so is.

As Kailey rolls over to her front and begins the trek back to her feet, Carl notices the outstretched palm of his tag team partner begging for a tag. He glances at the hand, then into the cold dead sockets of the cowboy…and ignores his request.

TM: Oh that’s great team work there, nice one.

JH: I don’t think he relishes the idea of setting the hand of god onto his best friend.

Carl turns back to his opponent, only to find her charging toward him! He swings an arm but Kailey ducks it and carries through to the ropes, leaping up onto the second cable as she reaches them and quickly throwing herself off. Carl turns just in time to see her flying towards him with a Leg Lariat that -- No! Carl catches her! He lifts her, looking to SLAM her back into the canvas but Kailey reaches round and hooks his head, locking in a front chancery before swinging her legs round to his side and PLANTING him head first into the canvas with a DDT!

JH: DEE DEE TEE!! Nice counter from Kailey!

She rolls off to the side and looks up to see Sam looking for the tag. She quickly glances over at Carl, who himself has been bounced onto his back from the impact, and makes the tag! Sam comes rushing into the ring and immediately hops over Carl on her way to the ropes. She leaps up, springing off the second cable and performing a beautiful Moonsault that sees her CRASHING down onto the torso of the big man! She hooks his leg!

[align=center]One!

Two!
[/align]

Once again Carl THROWS his opponent off of him! Sam skids across the canvas as Carl sits up, clutching at the ribs he just had rattled by the witch’s Moonsault. He pushes himself, taking a knee and looking up…to see Sam once again barrelling towards him!

JH: SHINING WII -- NO!!

Sam looks for the trademark Wizard but Carl saw it coming just a split second to soon and managed to catch the Oklahoma and FORCE her down into the canvas with a spine rattling SPINEBUSTER!

JH: Well countered by Carl.

The force sees Carl stagger back a few paces closer to his corner and he soon feels a short, sharp slap on his shoulder. He turns and watches as the cowboy steps through the ropes, his soulless sockets staring into the ex-gangster’s steely glare.

JH: We’ve talked about the relationship between Kailey and Carl, but what about these two? Sam and the cowboy haven’t exactly been enemies this whole time.

TM: Christ. Half the people in this fed are humping the other half. When did we stop working for FIW and start working for Days of our freakin’ Lives? It’s quite simple, you come to work, you beat the crap outta someone, you go home.

JH: If only it were that simple.

Sam squirms on the canvas as the pain in her spine subsides and she casts her gaze skywards, only to see the skulled one staring back down at her. He stoops, arm out stretched and fingers ready to wrap themselves around her head to pull her up, but she reacts that tad bit quicker and spins her legs round, taking his out from under him! The cowboy crashes back into the canvas and Sam scrambles to her feet, favouring her back a little as she straightens it out. But the cowboy isn’t down and out, a simple leg sweep is no way near enough to keep the big fella down and he soon finds his feet and marches…straight into a boot to the gut from Sam! He staggers, so she fires in another, and another until his torso doubles and his head ducks. She grabs his arm, wrenches it loosely and DRIVES him into the canvas with a DEE DEE TEE!

JH: KHEM RAQS SHARQI!!

TM: Gesundheit.

Sam is quickly back to her feet and darting for the corner. She climbs the ‘buckles until she finds herself at the very top and turns round, sizing up her opponent before SPIRALLING off and dropping a leg across his throat with a Front Flipping Leg Drop!

JH: Beautiful Senton Leg Drop from Sam!

TM: Get up you stupid cowboy!

Sam quickly hooks the leg!

[align=center]One!

Two -- Kickout!
[/align]

Once again Sam finds herself THROWN across the ring by the force of the kick out, and she rolls right back into her corner where she gets tagged by Kailey! The Southern bounds in as cowboy sits himself up and FIRES a dropkick to the back of his skull! He teeters forward and Kailey returns to check on her rising team mate. She seems fine, and the two women seem to discuss something before they BOTH rush across the ring. They hit the ropes in front of the cowboy and both coming springing off, and drive FOUR pairs of feet into the cowboy’s face with a Double Dropkick!

JH: Some nice teamwork from the girls there.

TM: Be nice to see some from Carl and cowboy. Help your partner baldy!

Both girls move in and begin to peel the skulled one off the canvas, despite Michaela’s pleas that Sam remove herself to the apron. They get the big man up and -- he fights back! He pushes Kailey aside and grabs Sam by the wrist, whipping her into a neutral corner with enough force to see her bounce back out of it before flopping back in. He turns to Kailey who spins a heel toward his head, but he ducks and CLAMPS HIS HANDS AROUND HER SKULL!!

JH: The BRAIN SQUEEZE! HELL IS THAT NOISE!!

TM: Say goodnight -- Hey!

As Kailey struggles to pry the cowboy’s finger’s loose, Carl ducks through the ropes!

TM: What’s he doing!? You have this won!

He hesitates, unsure of which course of action to take, but eventually he moves towards where is tag team partner is slowly crushing the skull of his best friend…but it doesn’t look like she needs him as she FIRES a few STIFF boots into the cowboy’s gut. His grip starts to loosen and she manages to wriggle free and send him staggering back across the ring with a desperation dropkick!

JH: Looks like she didn’t need Carl after all.

The Cajun steps back onto the apron as cowboy turns…and Sam comes FLYING off the top rope! She lands on the cowboy and rolls him up into a SUNSET FLIP!

JH: CLOSING THE CIRCLE!!

Sam rolls off, not being the legal woman as she is, and the leaves the cowboy spread out…for Kailey to come CRASHING into him with a MOONSAULT!

TM: NO!

She hooks the leg!

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Th -- NO!
[/align]

Cowboy forces the southern belle off, though with less power then before, and she rolls to the side. Sam has clambered back onto the apron, cowboy is down with his chest pumping like a piston, Kailey is a little better off though still dizzy from that Brain Squeeze and Carl is looking for the tag.

JH: Kailey’s still reeling, and the cowboy is flat out. Whoever can make the tag here to their fresher partner may have the titles in the bag.

TM: Thank you Captain Obvious.

Kailey climbs to her feet and tries to shake away the pain throbbing through her skull. She turns and makes her way back to her own corner, only to met by frantic pointing from her tag team partner. She turns…to see the cowboy standing behind her! She throws a kick but he swats it away and grabs up her wrist, whipping her across the ring and into the ropes! She rebounds and barrels right back into his waiting grasp, and gets hoisted into the air for a Flapjack, but then DRIVEN back into the canvas with a POWERBOMB!!

JH: GHOST RIDER!!!

Cowboy covers!

[align=center]One!

Two!

Thr -- NO!!!
[/align]

JH: SHE KICKED OUT!! That was a devastating move!

Cowboy pulls himself off his prey and glances down at her for a moment, perhaps admiring her resilience, before he drags her back to her feet. He pulls her round and faces his fellow tag team champion, staring him out as she HEAVES Kailey up onto his shoulders!

TM: HA! Get outta this one, I dare ya.

He drops one arm and…KAILEY FIGHTS BACK!

TM: I was kidding! I WAS KIDDING!!

She hammers down on his skull with all her might, staggering him slightly backwards before pushing herself over his head and dropping to the canvas, slapping Sam’s hand on the way down! Kailey slumps against the ropes, Sam pops up onto the top of the turnbuckle and the cowboy spins round to see what the hell is going on, and turns right into a FLYING CROSS BODY!!

JH: SUPER TZAKEMOTH!!

Cowboy is floored and Sam rolls into the pin!

[align=center]One!

Two!

THREE!!!
[/align]

JH: THEY DID IT!!!

A MASSIVE cheer goes up as “American Witch” blares through the speakers and Sam and Kailey come together to celebrate their victory!

MA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners and NEW FIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOOONS, KAILEY LANE AND SAAAM KINLOOOCH!!!

Kailey looks up from the huddle and Carl gives a warming smile and a little congratulatory nod as Michaela hands the title belts over to their new owners.

JH: What a great victory for Sam and Kailey!

TM: Hey, shut up, Hitchen. Tier's got a mic, he wants to talk!

We hear some clapping as the fans start to die down, and then Tier's voice.

Tier: Excellent job. You've really outdone yourself this time. Your acting skills are superb as always, Lazaro.

JH: Wha?

Tier: You may rise, now.

On command, the skull cowboy sits straight up, then stands. Sam looks highly confused, bordering on angry as she puts two and two together.

Tier: You showed me something this week Sam; that while I've been trying to woo you with plenty of temptations... I haven't really given you anything. I do hope you and... Kailey... enjoy your new tag-team titles. You may consider them a gift.

Tier smiles, all for Sam, and at the same time her eyes burn with rage, all for him.

Tier: As for you... Carl... I think Lazaro would like to have a few words with you. He's been meaning to truly deliver unto you his message that hesitation is not appreciated with an act as important as reviving his lord and savior. Isn't that right, Lazaro?

Carl on the apron suddenly turns STRAIGHT into a haymaker from the skull cowboy!

JH: Things are getting live!

Kailey darts in, looking to save Carl, but cowboy just BLASTS her in the mouth with a well-placed punch. We see blood blossom as she rides her pain down to the mat. The thump seems to shake Sam out of her stare-down trance with the smiling Tier, and she helps Kailey up and starts taking her to the back.

TM: Lookit 'em, running away! Some new tag champs!

JH: Disgression is the better part of valor, Thomas. Besides that, Kailey just got busted pretty hard, she might need a stitch or two.

TM: Doubtful. They're just wussy-girls. I give their reign a week.

The cowboy, meanwhile, has dragged Carl's massive body into the ring and is peppering him with unforgiving punches from his kidneys to his spine.

JH: Good lord, the strength! You know that's going to bruise! Carl is going to be black and blue if he doesn't fight out of it soon!

It's like Carl hears Hitchen's words as he delivers a milk dud headbutt to cowboy's skull! Cowboy backs up, but only to build momentum for a headbutt of his own! Carl stumbles backward, but rears back and BLASTS cowboy with a retaliating headbutt!

TM: It's a headbutt fight!

Cowboy stops headbutting and decides to just wrap his massive gloved hands around Carl's head and begin SQUEEZING!

JH: HELL IS THAT NOISE!!! HELL IS THAT NOISE!!! NOO!! WE SAW WHAT THIS DID TO STEFAN!!

Carl drops to his knees, growling in pain. Cowboy moves around behind him, bending his neck at an odd angle as he continues to squeeze!

JH: This is that heartless, hateful side of the skull cowboy we haven't seen in a while! Dammit! Somebody stop him! Where're the officials? WHERE'S REMY!?

Carl convulses as blood begins to pour from his mouth, and the cowboy finally lets him go. He backs away, stalking around Carl before putting his head between his legs for a powerbomb. Carl throws a few weak punches, but his throbbing head is keeping him from having a strong hold on consciousness as cowboy SWINGS him upward!

TM: I can't believe the cowboy can even get Carl UP like that, much less-- YES! He dropped the arm... AND DOWN GOES CARL! BOOOOMBAMUEEERRRTEEEEE!!!

The skull cowboy pops back up, looking down at Carl. He bends over the man's face as his foot twitches a bit, wiping the blood from his chin and smearing it across his chest. Rammstein's Te Quiero Puta hits the loudspeakers as the cowboy makes his way to the back, followed by Tier.

JH: Good lord... call the EMTs, get SOMEONE out here!

[align=center]*Commercial Break*[/align]
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JH: The next match should be a rather interesting one.

TM: Why, is it time for my dream match of Kennedy and April rolling around on the mat in hardly any thing?

JH: Ahem, no, that is later, what I’m talking about is the first time ever meeting in a singles match between two former Slam wrestlers.

TM: Two former Slam wrestlers…okay, you lost me.

JH: Ragin’ and Onikage.

TM: Oooooooooh…right…crap, that means I have to sit through a Ragin’ match.

JH: While his attitude might not be the best, personally, I’m rooting for Onikage.

TM: And yet another sign of the coming doom’s day appears, you and I actually agreeing on some one to cheer on.

MA: The following contest is the scheduled semi-Main Event for this edition of Tuesday Night Throwdown and is set with a thirty minute time limit and is scheduled for one fall to a finish, your official for this contest is Logan Black.

A soft yet tune begins to play over the P.A. system as a man’s voice rings out…

[align=center]”Journey with me
Into the mind of a maniac
Doomed to be a killer”[/align]


The once soft tune is replaced by a guitar playing over the P.A. system as the Ton springs to life with the words that read “Your Straight Edge Savior”. Slowly the lights shift to a soft and light shade of blue, giving the arena almost a heavenly glow.

[align=center] Can't you see I feel your pain?
I've got Jesus running through my veins
In this hopeless life that's turned on you
Give yourself to me, I'll help you through
I feed off your unanswered fear
When visions of life's end appear
Hand over your will and then you'll see
Now get on your knees and worship me[/align]


A few darker blue strobe lights scan across the fans in attendance as clouds of smoke appears seemingly out of nowhere and covers every inch of the arena. Suddenly quite a few fans start to jeer as the strobe lights all at once move towards one single area in the crowd.

[align=center] Worship me
On your knees
Worship me [/align]


Various clips of Onikage’s matches through out his FIW career show on the big screen. Mean while the row of fans near the exit on the right side of the arena facing the ring start to go crazy as security starts to run up to them. The reason why becomes apparent when a figure steps out from the exit, his long dark hair hiding his face from the cameras and fans.

[align=center] In this world when at it's best
Of never ending hate and death
Abandon all and trust in me
Escaping from reality
My world it has no space or time
The crippled walk and the sick feel fine
Hand over your will and then you'll see
Now get on your knees and worship me[/align]


Several figures appear behind this man and look some what younger than him as they sport black TNT t-shirts. Whipping his head back the man’s hair flies out of his face and reveals the leather mask all too familiar to the FIW audience. The self-proclaimed Straight Edge Savior lifts his arms up to above his shoulders and is showered with jeers. Satisfied with the reaction from the crowd Onikage drops his arms and casually walks down the steps of the arena towards the bottom level of the seats, his pupils are right behind him.

[align=center] Worship me
On your knees
Worship me
[/align]

Onikage reaches the bottom level and now the fans are right in the masked man’s face, throwing insults his way. The students try to keep the fans at bay while JJ walks ahead of Onikage, creating a path for him. He pauses when at the barricade for a single moment, looking out at the fans one last time before JJ and he hop over the guard rail. The other students aren’t far behind as they shortly hop the guard rail too.

[align=center] Beyond this wall of life unknown
I'll lead you where you need to go
Void of worry, stress and pain
Left with nothing but your name
We've washed your brain and cleansed your soul
Till' nothing's all you need to know
Hand over your will and then you'll see
Now get on your knees and worship me [/align]


To the delight of none of the fans in the entire arena Onikage walks around ringside as JJ and his students take a seat on the outside. Swiftly Onikage slides into the ring and rolls right up onto his knees while he unzips his wind breaker and throws it off of himself. Allowing his arms to fall limp against the canvas Onikage stares up at the ceiling of the arena and nods his head to the line “Now get on your knees and worship me”. Once the music fades Onikage pushes himself up to his feet and awaits the match to begin as the lights return to normal.


MA: Introducing first…He hails from Parts Unknown and weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifty pounds, and stands at exactly six feet and two inches…He! Is! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE~!!!


With the arena plummeted into darkness a few lines of static flash up onto the TNTtron and Local H’s “That’s What They All Say” starts to play out over the PA system. In the gloom a few shapes can be made out walking onto the stage and starting to move down the ramp. A series of red lights beam down faintly onto the stage, before others join it and illuminate the sides of the elevated ramp where young, beautiful women are aligning themselves on either side and kneeling. They position themselves like the religious worshipper before their God.

The words, ‘Yeah, Uh-Huh, That’s What They All Say”, are the prompt for a flash of light and a series of explosions around the stage and TNTtron and two more figures can be seen advancing through the haze, a bright spotlight on them. As the smoke clears Ragin’ can be seen head bowed with Natalya moving around him, her arms stroking his torso. They walk directly down through the press of females on the elevated ramp, the spotlight following the two Russians with every step.

As they reach the bottom of the walkway and the ring ropes, Ragin’ sits on the lowest one and allows Natalya to slip between them before he steps along the apron toward the turnbuckle. The women aligned on the ramp depart unnoticed and the lights suddenly turn back on. Ragin’ hauls himself up and looks out over at the fans, raising a mocking fist in the air to a chorus of jeers. He points his fingers down at himself briefly before hopping down into the ring and unbuttoning whichever expensive shirt he has worn today and handing it to Natalya. She whispers something in his ear and slides out of the ring.


MA: And introducing the opponent…He hails from Bogorodskoye, Russia and weighing in tonight at two hundred and seventy seven pounds, he stands at a grand total of six feet and three inches and he is the FIW Dual Crown Number One Contender…He! Is! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN’~!!!

Logan walks over to Onikage’s corner and tells him to spread out, Onikage obeys and stretches his arms out to each side of him, allowing the referee to lazily pat his torso and arms down, and lifting one leg at a time for Mister Black to check. After Onikage passes inspection Logan trots over to Ragin’s side of the ring, telling the Master of Rage the same thing, Ragin’ glares down at the smaller man for a moment before he obeys reluctantly; Logan lazily pats Ragin’ down the same way and the Russian turns up clean. Black walks to the center of the ring, waving his hands for both Onikage and Ragin’ to come to it as well, Onikage walks forward and slowly Ragin’ walks forward as well, when they meet face to mask in the center of the ring Logan begins to explain the rules of the match. Once he is all done he looks between the two and then looks over at Ragin’, asking him if he understands the rules, Ragin’ rolls his eyes and nods, Logan looks over at Onikage and asks him the same, Onikage simply nods his head and Logan Black calls for the bell.

[align=center]DING DING DING~![/align]

Once the bell is rung Ragin’ throws his hand out, poking Onikage right in the hand and temporarily blinding his opponent, giving Ragin’ the chance to snatch hold of the Straight Edge Savior’s arm and whip him towards the ropes, Onikage flies across the ring and bounces off of the ropes, coming back to the welcoming arms of Ragin’, who scoops him right up and slams him hard against the canvas with a powerslam. Slowly Ragin’ sits up and smirks, holding his hands up and flicking his fingers a bit as if calling for some applause from the fans, but of course only gets insults thrown at him, he looks back down at Onikage and chuckles to himself, mockingly shoving Onikage’s masked face a few times, suddenly like a snake springing on it’s victim, Onikage’s hand shoots up and connects with a throat thrust to Ragin’. The bigger of the two men clutches at his throat as he gasps and wheezes, his eyes bugging out of his skull in shock as Onikage starts to sit up, anger soon over takes the Russian Messiah and he rears back his arm, jamming his elbow right into Onikage’s face viciously, causing Onikage from the sheer force behind it to be flung back against the mat, Ragin’ snatches hold of Onikage’s mask and starts yanking at it. Logan tells him to stop as Natalya applauds and Onikage kicks his legs and tries to push and smack Ragin’s hands away from his mask, Black starts a count and instantly Ragin’ stops it, lifting his hands up to his sides innocently to show he isn’t doing any thing any more, after he makes sure he is cleared by the referee Ragin’ grabs a handful of Onikage’s long black locks and pulls him up to his feet as he gets up to his own as well. He lets go of Onikage’s head once they are both up to their feet, he mockingly throws a few open hand slaps at Onikage, jarring his opponent a bit, Ragin’ goes for another but suddenly Onikage blocks it and twists Ragin’s arm, going behind him and locking him right into a wrist lock, Ragin’ yelps in pain as Onikage wrenches and twists Ragin’s wrist, pressing his head against the center of Ragin’s back as he sweeps the Russian’s legs out from under him, taking him to the canvas with the wrist lock.

TM: Ha, serves the big dumb ass right for trying to play Mister Macho.

JH: It would seem Ragin’ show boating has cost him for the time being.

TM: Haven’t you learned by now Hitchen? That’s all Ragin’ ever is, talk, but when it comes to put up or shut up time he wusses out.

JH: Ragin’ and I may not be bestest friends forever, but I will say that the man does have a fair bit of skill, he wouldn’t be a three time FIW World Heavyweight Champion and the current dead ringer for Swytch’s FIW Dual Crown Championships if he was all talk. But with that said, it is apparent by their backgrounds that Onikage perhaps the advantage in terms of skill within his techniques over Ragin’, as the former three time FIW World Tag Team Champion knows nearly every style of wrestling there is to a near masterful level.

Ragin’ growls and groans as Onikage further harms his wrist, he curses in his native tongue under his breath as he tries to claw his way towards the ropes, but sadly for Ragin’ if he was in pain with just the wrist lock, he is seriously in agony when Onikage floats over and changes the wrist lock into a side armbar, wrenching back on Ragin’s arm as he interlocks his free hand’s fingers with Ragin’s trapt arm’s fingers, thus allowing him to also twist Ragin’s hand, further harming the wrist as well as the Russian’s arm. Natalya cheers on her comrade to the ropes, slamming her hands against the apron as the fans chant for Ragin’ to tap, Logan Black follows after the two of them, making sure he doesn’t miss the Russian’s tap out if he does decide to do so, though it certainly doesn’t look like it as slowly Ragin’ inches towards the ropes, even with Onikage using all of his weight to hold the two of them back, the Master of Rage grits his teeth as he continues on. A few beads of sweat starts to run down the side of Ragin’s face while he pulls along with one arm his two hundred and seventy seven pounds plus the masked two hundred and fifty pounds laying on him, and who is causing him a great deal of pain, Onikage lifts up his feet and plants his boots against the canvas, stopping the two of them as it allows him to further rear back on the submission. A mixture of pain and grim expression etches itself across Ragin’s face as he realizes he isn’t going to be able to budge not even another inch, with only about a foot away from the ropes, he tries to with his free hand reach out, Natalya even rooting him on to reach, but the Russian just simply can’t, slowly he lowers his arm against the mat as he places his palm against the canvas, he gently lifts it up and as it trembles it looks like he might just tap. Suddenly he slams his palm against the canvas and pushes Onikage and himself, rolling the duo over and rolling Onikage over into a modified roll up, before Logan can even get down to start a count though Onikage releases the submission hold and scrambles up to his feet, Ragin’ hurries up to his as well, the Russian catches Onikage off guard and almost takes his head off with a lariat, he groans and shakes his arm, having just on instinct used his bad arm for the lariat.

JH: You got to hand it to Ragin’, Onikage might have stopped him from reaching the ropes, but he figured out another way out of the submission hold.

TM: Yup, but then the big lug used that very same arm Onikage was working on to do a lariat to Onikage.

JH: Though I hate to defend Ragin’, I think it was more just a reflex more than any thing for him, that sort of thing seems to happen when you’ve had a wrestling career as long as Ragin’s or Onikage’s.

TM: Bah, he is just a moron who tries to act like he is so smart.

Though his arm is still bugging him, Ragin’ bends over and picks Onikage up with his still good arm and scoops him up on his shoulder and charges towards the turnbuckle, at the last second heaving the masked oddity off of his shoulder and allowing Onikage to crash masked face first into the corner with Eat Buckle, Onikage staggers out of the corner and Ragin’ grabs hold of Onikage’s short tights, pulling him in close and tucking his head under Onikage’s arm as he wraps his own arm around the back of Onikage’s. Carefully he lifts the Straight Edge Savior up into the air, holding him up there for a moment before he drops him back first onto the point of his knee, driving him down with the Suplex Backbreaker, he looks down at Onikage’s limp form that is resting on top of his knee, lazily Ragin’ pushes him off of his knee, causing him to tumble down onto the canvas, not wasting a moment’s worth of time, Ragin’ surprisingly races towards the opposite side of the ring. Like a lightning bolt he zips into the ropes, and quickly sling shots off of them and barrels back towards Onikage’s fallen frame, he in mid-run leaps into the air and throws his arms to the side as he tries to aim, but the former World Champ’s jumping head butt gets nothing but hard canvas as Onikage rolls out of the way, resulting in Ragin’ hitting the mat with such force he actually bounces slightly, slowly he climbs up to his knees, clutching his face. Rolling right up to his feet, Onikage much like Ragin’ a moment ago races towards his foe, he scales up Ragin’ knee and shoulder and looking like he is going to go for a shining wizard, but instead in mid-air Onikage drives his leg down like an axe kick, driving it down right onto Ragin’s hurting arm, sending both men back down to the canvas in a heap and Ragin’ howling in pain after that shining axe kick, both men start to get back up to their feet, trying to beat the other to it, Onikage is up to them first by only maybe a few seconds, kicking Ragin’ on the mid-section and causing the Russian to double over. Quickly he wraps his hand around Ragin’s arm and locks it into a wrist lock, and kicks Ragin’s nearest leg, sending both of them against the canvas, back first for Onikage, and skull first for Ragin’ with the sweeping DDT, once again Ragin’ clutches at his arm with his good hand as he kicks the canvas in pain, Onikage panting a bit but sitting up, not wanting to waste this momentum, he snatches Ragin’s hurt arm, the bigger man tries to stop him from doing whatever he is trying to do, but it is all for nothing as Onikage throws Ragin’s arm roughly against the canvas, causing his foe quite a bit of pain, but to further add to his unpleasant experience, he holds the arm as he kicks up his lower half, driving his knees into the elbow joint of Ragin’.

TM: This is great! Onikage might just break that idiotic Russian’s arm and save Swytch the time of having to dispose of him once and for all!

JH: I think it was perhaps Ragin’s over confidence coming into this match that might have been his downfall, but then again, the match isn’t over quite yet.

TM: No, it was his downfall, it is only a matter of a few seconds before the bastard loses.

JH: I seriously have doubts that Ragin’ couldn’t possibly bounce back from this, after every thing we’ve seen in that ring, any thing is possible when it comes to FIW wrestlers.

FIW’s Straight Edge Savior kicks his lower body up into the air once more, and for the second time drives his knees into the joint of Ragin’s arm, causing the Russian to wiggle about in pain as he claws at the canvas, perhaps thinking it is time to end it, Onikage locks Ragin’ into a fujiwara armbar, wrenching back on it as he once interlocks his fingers with Ragin’s fingers, twisting his wrist within the fujiwara armbar, resulting in even more pain for the bigger man as he kicks his feet against the canvas and tries to claw and pull at Onikage’s body, trying to free himself. Without warning Natalya suddenly jumps up onto the apron and starts yelling at Logan, who gets up from his kneeling position and walks over to the ropes, turning his back on the two wrestlers as he argues with the Russian Bitch, trying to get her off of the apron as she yells and screams at him, telling him just how much of a stupid American he truly is, it doesn’t take long for Onikage to notice the two of them are lacking a referee, he looks over and sees what is going on, quickly he releases the fujiwara armbar and gets to his feet. Like a bat out of Hell he storms over to the ropes beside Logan, but before he is even within arm’s reach Natalya drops from the apron, smiling smugly at the masked oddity while Ragin’ gasps and groans in the center of the ring, clutching his weakened arm as he slowly pushes himself up to his knees, heavily panting and breathing as the fans jeer at him, he merely snarls at them as he starts to get up to his feet, at this same exact time Onikage turns back around and notices Ragin’ is getting to his feet, he charges back over but Ragin’ dives forward a bit, head butting Onikage’s mid-section. After getting up to his feet Ragin’ strolls over behind Onikage, locking up his arms and lifting him up with a pump handle before dropping him thunderously against the canvas with a pump handle slam, he arrogantly plants his hand on top of Onikage’s chest but of course doesn’t even get a one count out of it, he calmly picks Onikage up as he brings the two of them up to their feet, he grabs Onikage’s wrist and goes to whip him towards the ropes, but the Straight Edge Savior stops himself, throwing a elbow into Ragin’s face, he throws a few more elbow strikes into Ragin’s face, dazing the Russian foe a bit before he whips Ragin’ into the ropes instead. Ragin’ rushes across the ring and into the ropes, hitting them and quickly bounces off of them and starts running back towards Onikage, who seems to be setting up for some thing, once the Russian Messiah gets within arm’s reach Onikage goes to snatch a hold of him, presumably his bad arm to be exact, but Ragin’ ducks it and goes behind Onikage, kneeing him in his spine, causing Onikage to let his guard down long enough to get Ragin’s good massive arm tightly wrapped around his neck from behind, the Master of Rage smirks evilly as he connects with a picture perfect inverted evenflow DDT and quickly goes for the cover as Logan drops down to count.

JH: Was that…

TM: It was! It was! That was the Mind Fuck!

[align=center]1![/align]

JH: Ragin’ just used Swytch’s very own finisher, the Mind Fuck, could that very well have been the ex-Slammer sending a message to our Dual Crown Champion?

TM: So what you’re saying is Ragin’ was trying to…fuck with Swytch’s mind? Oh yes, oh yes, thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week, try the veal ladies and gentlemen!

[align=center]2![/align]

JH: You’re about as unfunny as Ragin’ is.

TM: Oh come on, I may not like Ragin’ but the guy is HILIRIOUS, trying to act like he is straight by saying he banged Kailey and hangs around Natalya, no straight man takes that much time on how his hair looks.

[align=center]3~!!!

DING DING DING~!!!
[/align]

JH: And he did it, Ragin’ won the match.

TM: Damn it Onikage, you failed us all.

MA: Here is your winner via pin fall…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN’~!!!

”That’s What They All Say” blasts over the sound system as the fans greet Ragin’ with some more jeers while he sits up, Logan Black lifting his arm up in victory as he smirks smugly. Slowly he gets up to his feet, holding his hurt arm for a moment until he uses his good arm to make a movement around his waist for a championship belt. As he sends Swytch a calling card Natalya races around ringside, yelling some thing at Anderson to say as Ragin’s music stops.

MA: Erm…Sorry ladies and gentlemen, I made a mistake, here is your winner via pin fall…and soon to be NEW FIW Dual Crown Champion…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN’~!!!

His smirk turns into a full blown grin as his music starts up again, the fans jeering him even more so than before as Natalya and he make their way to the walk way and then to the back while Logan checks on Onikage.

Backstage we find Madison Lee heading down the corridor. She opens the door to her office and enters before flipping on the light. Or rather, she flips the switch by no light fills the room. She flips the switch a few more times, looking up at the lights failing to respond. She sighs and walks into the darkened room, grumbling under her breath.

Madison: Can’t even get a damn arena with working lights…

She moves to her desk, flipping it on… to the same result as the overhead lights.

Madison: What the hell?

She glances around the room, her attention drawn to the top of her desk that seems to be glowing slightly. She moves to it, picking up an envelope with a glowing question mark on the front.

Madison: Well, it is about time.

Madison opens up the envelope, anxious to read the message from what she believes is her secret admirer. Her eyes scan the letter, her face baring a look of confusion. It’s interrupted when the overhead lights flip on, startling her. She glances to the open door, finding Dante there with his hands on the light switch.

Dante: What the hell are you sitting the dark for?

Madison opens her mouth to explain about the lights but she’s far too confused and annoyed by the situation to form any words.

Dante: Nevermind. We need to talk.

Dante moves further into the room, standing across from Madison and glaring at her over the desk. He rests his hands on the desktop, leaning forward towards her.

Dante: I know you’ve got this big trust issue going on after Tier got inside your head and fucked you up good but I couldn’t honestly care less anymore. What I do care about, however, is me. And the fact that you’ve got me wrestling Ragin’ and his little slutbomb next week. And on top of that, I’m teamed with his booty call.

Dante pushes himself off the desk, standing tall before Madison, who continues to remain speechless. Her expression, however, has changed to a more serious tone.

Dante: Let me just say, that isn’t going to happen. That girl has screwed me out of one too many matches with her little Russian sex toy. No way am I trusting her as my tag team partner against him. So I’m here to tell you, find her or me another partner or you’re going to be watching a handicap match next week.

Madison lets out a breath, surprisingly not as pissed off as you’d think. Dante just crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for Madison to come to her decision. She glances down at the letter in her hand before her eyes move back up to Dante.

Madison: Done. Next week you won’t be teaming with Kailey Lane.

Dante slowly nods his head at first before backing up and lowering his arms.

Dante: Alright. You better not be fucking with me.

Dante turns and leaves the office, leaving Madison alone in her plethora of light. Madison gives the letter one more look before dropping it down on the desktop, leaving us in the dark.

[align=center]*Commercial Break*[/align]

“Shatter” tears through the speakers and signals the entrance of TNT’s very own Ragin’ Cajun and his beautiful girlfriend.They appear onstage, two silhouettes against the light that emanates from the entrance, Remy’s Ultimate Endurance title glinting around his waist…

[align=center]“Coming around my senses torn
Its no illusion its here everyday I bleed
As long as you see it as long as you know
As long as you fake it nobody knows”
[/align]

Both of them take to stepping and head along the walkway, conversing with each other as they close in on their destination. As they reach the ring, Remy sits on the middle ropes and allows April to duck through, before he swings his legs through and follows. He crosses the canvas and quickly ascends a turnbuckle, throwing his arms out to the sides as he absorbs the crowd’s adulation.

JH: Are you ready for tonight’s main-event, Thomas? We’ve got Intergender Rules.

TM: Yes we do. This is much different than the match Remy and April competed in last week when April cost him a victory over Ragin’.

JH: I beg your pardon. But the rules are very different. In this type of tag team match, the males and females and compete against one another legally. If it happens that way.

TM: Say goodbye to another victory, Remy.

MA: The following intergender tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the team of APRIL LYNN and the Ultimate Endurance Champion… REEEMMMMYYY BAAAARRRRTOOOOHHH!!!!

[align=center]“Breeeeeeak dooooown again, I’m suffering
My heeeeeeads ooooout of sync, and I can’t hide the pain”
[/align]

He drops down from his perch and turns to April, sharing a good luck kiss with her before both move to the side. Remy warms up, stretching his legs, cracking his neck from side to side and checking the tape around his wrists as the twosome wait for the start of the match.

JH: Excuse you. What did you mean by that? “Say goodbye to another victory”?

TM: Well, come on, Jonathan. April couldn’t hang with Natalya. How’s she gonna hang with Swytch or Kennedy?

JH: First of all, April was wiping the ring with Natalya before Ragin’ interfered. Second of all, April’s the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion in this company’s history. She knows how to get it done in that ring.

[align=center]The house lights fade to complete darkness as the sound of a church organ rises up through the sound system. An ominous red glow seems to build over the stage as smoke starts to pour out and the beat of drums and hum of guitars picks up. The crowd murmurs in anticipation as two figures seem to rise up through the smoke to the opening tune of Rob Zombie’s “Return of the Phantom Stranger”. They’re quickly revealed to be Swytch, with his protégé Kennedy holding on closer than a protégé should be.

Shape shifting high and a haunted eye
Falling plastic and paper demons
No trace of time, I'm branded sly
I am your ghost master baby, free me


Once the lift brings the duo fully level with the stage, Swytch takes off towards the ring, wading through the smoke as Kennedy follows close behind. Staring out at the people from behind his blackened eyes, Swytch's murky lips twitch and quiver into a demented grin as he treads down the walkway to the ring, clinging desperately to his Dual Crown belts. He steps along the apron to the corner where he climbs to the second turnbuckle while Kennedy steps over the middle rope to enter the ring. Again he looks out over the crowd as he stands atop the turnbuckle, his eyes constantly moving until they settle on Kennedy in the ring.[/align]

MA: And their opponents, the team of KENNEDY and the Dual Crown Champion SSSSWWWWYYYYYTTTCCCHHHH!!!

TM: Now here’s two people that know how to get it done in the ring. The reigning Dual Crown Champion and first female to ever hold a World Title in this company’s history!

JH: No one’s taking away either of their accomplishment. Their tactics are another matter of debate, however.

TM: It’s all about winning. And you’re looking at two people who will do whatever it takes to do just that.

JH: That’s the nice version. Their lack of respect doesn‘t paint them in any good light, however.

[align=center]All you know, is alone
You see a, Phantom Stranger
Down you go, all alone
You love my, Phantom Stranger


Stepping over the ropes, Swytch drops into the ring and walks right up on Kennedy, staring down into her eyes with unrelenting intensity. Swytch holds his titles out to the side, submitting willfully as Kennedy grabs the end of his chain, sliding her other hand up it’s length, staring back into his forceful gaze. Their lips tease a kiss before they pull apart, the chain now in Kennedy’s possession. Swytch grudgingly relinquishes the title belts to the referee while Kennedy departs to ringside as the haunting rhythm of ‘Phantom Stranger’ fade out.[/align]

The two teams take their corners, conversing amongst one another as they decide who is going to start the contest. Kennedy steps out on the ring, April nodding to Remy before following suit. Swytch steps out of his corner, only for Remy to mirror his action and stare the Dual Crown Champion.

JH: Well, it’s been a crazy night already. We’ve got new Tag Team Champions and now we’ve got this Intergender Tag Team Match up before us. Swytch staring down Remy Barteaux.

TM: The Dual Crown CHAMPION staring down Remy Barteaux.

JH: That is also correct. Remy is our Ultimate Endurance Champion. He won that title from Dante Coles. Technically we’re starting out with a champion versus champion match here in this tag.

The two champions circle one another in the ring before moving in for the standard collar and elbow tie up. No! Swytch ducks around Remy, applying a wristlock to the UEC. Remy quickly wraps his leg around Swytch’s, thwarting whatever move the DC had in mind. Remy manages to break the hold, countering into a hammerlock. No, he releases the hammerlock and spins Swytch around to face him, leaping onto his shoulders AND GETTING SLAMMED INTO THE CANVAS WITH A POWERBOMB!

JH: A powerbomb by Swytch! The first offensive move of the contest. Countering that hurracanrana attempt by Remy.

TM: An early cover!

Swytch is indeed already going for the cover. He drops down onto Remy, not hooking the leg or really bothering to press the blonde man into the canvas at all.


[align=center]One!


Kick-out by Remy!
[/align]

JH: A lazy cover there by Swytch. That was never going to keep Remy down.

Both men move back to their feet, Swytch there first and burying a boot into Remy’s stomach just as he gets vertical. Swytch hooks Remy up before lifting him into the air and DROPPING HIM BACK INTO THE CANVAS WITH A TWISTING VERTICAL SUPLEX! Swytch jumps back up and slams his elbow… into the canvas as Remy rolls aside! He jumps up and Swytch swats away his dropkick attempt! Swytch grabs Remy by the wrist, pulling him up and applying an arm wringer. Remy wastes little time in reversing it into a hammerlock on Swytch and then shoving him forward!

JH: Both men going toe to toe here and… well, that wasn’t a very wise move.

TM: He pushed him! He had Swytch in a hammerlock and he broke it to shove him?

Remy stands his ground, showing no fear as the painted face of the Dual Crown Champion gets in Remy’s. Swytch shoves Remy in the chest, causing him to stumble back a couple steps that Remy doesn’t hesitate to take back. The Cajun immediately chops Swytch right across his painted face! He grabs A handful of Swytch’s hair and runs him face first into the turnbuckle!

JH: Both men showing that they aren’t scare of the other and now Remy’s got control of Swytch in the corner.

Remy spins Swytch around and begins burying kicks into the champ’s midsection. But Swytch isn’t about to sit there and take it. He fires a wild elbow that connects at Remy’s temple! Another one backs the competitors out of the corner before Swytch downs Remy with an uppercut shot to the throat!

TM: Look at that. The dominance of our Dual Crown Champion. He refuses to not be in control.

JH: He has been a very dominant champion. But I believe this is the first time Swytch and Remy have competed against one another. And I know for a fact this is the first time April and Kennedy have been in the ring together.

TM: Too bad it isn’t a bra and panties match.

JH: I don’t want to see Swytch and Remy stripped. Do you?

TM: Stop making everything I say sound gay!

Swytch pulls Remy up, backing him off the ropes (April making a blind tag) and then whipping him across the ring. April climbs in behind Swytch, Remy rebounding off the ropes and leapfrogging over his adversary. Remy and April each grab one of Swytch’s legs, pulling them out from under him! Remy and April both roll forward, dragging Swytch up and THROWING HIM OVER WITH A DOUBLE SUPLEX!

JH: A blind tag by April and now she’s in legally against Swytch!

TM: Look at the double team!

JH: I expect them to work very well as a tag team. Boyfriend and girlfriend.

TM: Let’s just see how well Swytch and Kennedy work. Teacher and student! Plus lovers! That’s like almost a telepathic connection!

Remy exit’s the ring as April makes a cover on Swytch!


[align=center]One!


Two!!


Swytch powers out!
[/align]


JH: April just got a near fall on Swytch!

TM: It may have been a two count but did you see Swytch throw her off of him? He’s a one-woman man, you little hussy.

Swytch bounds to his feet, glaring at a startled April. She certainly isn’t going to stand her ground the way Remy did. She’s got nothing to prove against Swytch. At least, nothing she’s willing to risk her liver for. April shakes her head, pointing in the direction of Kennedy. A grin comes across Swytch’s black lips and he points back at Kennedy, asking April if she wants to wrestle her. April nods her head, getting some of her confidence back.

JH: It looks like April wants to go one on one with the three-time Lady of the Year.

TM: No, no, no! Swytch is legal and it’s intergender rules. You get intergender now!

But that isn’t going to happen. Swytch looks all to thrilled at the thought of watching his protégé take on the former Cruiserweight Champion. He backs over to the ropes, Kennedy standing on the bottom cord and hand extended. Swytch slaps her hand and Kennedy’s now legal! Kennedy runs into a collar and elbow tie up with April, getting snapped down the canvas by an arm drag!

JH: April taking Kennedy over with a basic arm drag and now she’s got a arm lock applied.

April holds in the arm lock but Kennedy rolls backwards to her feet, only to be taken by down by a spinning wristlock by April! Not once but twice! April holds onto Kennedy’s wrist, pulling her up into a front facelock. Kennedy blocks the suplex attempt and rolls April up with a small package!


[align=center]One!


Two!!


Kick-out by April!
[/align]


Both girls get back to their feet. Kennedy is there first and scores with a kick to April’s stomach. She drags her into a front facelock, kicks her leg and… gets taken over with a northern lights suplex! April bridges out into the pin!


[align=center]One!


Two!!


Kick-out by Kennedy!
[/align]


JH: April countering the Murder of One DDT into a Northern Lights Suplex!

TM: But she can’t keep the Lady of the Year down.

JH: April must’ve been watching her friend Kailey Lane’s match last week when Kennedy used that DDT illegally at ringside. April wants no part of Kennedy’s DDT.

Back to their feet they go, only for April to send a chop across the chest of Kennedy! She scores with another way that backs Kennedy into the ropes. And a third one! April whips Kennedy off the ropes, ready for her on the rebound… but Kennedy counters into a figure four leg lock around April’s neck, taking the blonde down to the canvas!

JH: A headscissors takedown by Kennedy!

TM: Did April really think she was gonna side slam Kennedy? I mean, let’s be logical.

JH: She tried.

Again the girls get to their feet, Kennedy up with plenty of time to plan her next move before April recovers from the headscissors. Once the blonde finally reclaims her feet, she’s taking back down the canvas by a clothesline from Kennedy! April springs back to her feet, taken down by another clothesline! Kennedy sprints off the ropes, catching April with a swinging neckbreaker!

JH: Kennedy back in control after that headscissors and now a swinging neckbreaker to ground her opponent.

Kennedy grabs a handful of April’s locks, turning her attention to Remy and mouthing off something to the UEC, causing him to look a bit anxious on the apron as he yells something back to her. Kennedy gets April vertical before… releasing her? Yes, Kennedy releases April and takes a step back before KICKING HER HEAD OFF WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!

TM: Yes! The JFK from Kennedy and April’s pretty little head has been kicked clean off like a Mortal Kombat game!

JH: Kennedy’s roundhouse kick does pack a lot of punch behind it. It’s been known to put a few people down.

TM: Is she… ha! She’s tagging out!

Kennedy does indeed tag out to Swytch, pointing at the downed woman and saying something to him. Swytch grins from ear to ear, almost licking his lips as he makes his move towards the pretty little blonde on the canvas. But Remy ain’t having it! He runs in, swinging wildly with a clothesline that Swytch ducks! Swytch cracks and elbow strike off Remy once, twice, three times! Swytch spins and DOWNS REMY WITH A LARIAT!!

JH: Remy trying to come in and stop Swytch from putting his hands on April, which he can do legally in this contest, but it was not to be!

TM: And now both of them are down. I told you. Goodbye victory!

Swytch drags up the illegal participant, taking him by the wrist and firing him off into the far corner. Swytch glances back at his protégé, giving her a nod and dropping down to his hands and knees. Kennedy sprints across the ring, leaping off Swytch’s back and into the shoulders of Remy! Swytch quickly darts to the side as Kennedy falls back and throws Remy across the ring with a hurracanrana!

JH: And now some double teaming by Swytch and Kennedy!

TM: I told you they’d have some surprises for these two!

Swytch leaps onto the downed man, throwing some mounted elbows into his face (kind of like mounted punches, get it?). Kennedy gets back to her feet… only to find April there as well! She grabs two handfuls of Kennedy’s hair and SLINGS HER ACROSS THE RING BY IT! Kennedy rolls from the ring, checking to make sure she still has hair. April slides out next to her, slamming Kennedy’s face off the apron-- No! Kennedy blocks it and blasts April’s face off the apron!

JH: And now a… was that a hairmare?

TM: That was actually impressive from April. And aggressive!

JH: April and Kennedy are going at it outside the ring now!

TM: But there’s still action INSIDE the ring!

Yes, there is. Swytch has pulled Remy up and throws him across the ring with an Irish whip but Remy reverses it. Swytch rebounds and REMY DROPS HIM WITH A ONE-MAN FLAPJACK! He quickly moves into the cover!


[align=center]One!


Two!!


Kick-out by Swytch!!!
[/align]


TM: He’s got him!

JH: No, Swytch kicks out!

Remy is up first, naturally, and nails a toe kick to Swytch’s midsection. He whips Swytch off into the corner but Swytch reverses this time, sending Remy into the turnbuckle! Swytch runs in… to a raised boot by Remy! Tony Clarke checks on Swytch at the perfect time for Kennedy to pull Remy’s legs out from under him! She grabs his feet and PULLS HIM ALL THE WAY BACK INTO THE POST!

JH: Look at Kennedy from behind!

TM: Kennedy gaining and unfair advantage!

JH: Look at April!

There’s a reason to look at April too. Because she’s perched on the top rope, aiming for an oblivious Swytch. The Dual Crown Champion isn’t stupid (crazy but not stupid) and turns around when he notices the crowd cheering. April flips off the top rope, landing on Swytch’s shoulders and downing him to the canvas with a seated senton!

JH: The April Showers! April and Swytch are the legal participants!


[align=center]ONE!



TWO!!




THREE!!!




NOOOO!!!!
[/align]


Kennedy nails April in the jaw with a running dropkick that breaks up the pinfall! Remy gets back to his feet, grimacing through the pain caused by Kennedy but he’s set out for revenge. He grabs a handful of Kennedy’s hair and runs her across the ring, THROWING HER OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

JH: Kennedy over the top rope! But she manages to hold on.

TM: Oh, thank God!

Remy doesn’t get a chance to worry about that as Swytch comes at him from behind, nailing him with a clubbing blow. He shoves Remy into the turnbuckle and nails him with an elbow strike! Remy comes back with a chop to the face! And Swytch hits another elbow strike! And Remy with a chop to the face! Elbow strike from Swytch! Remy comes out of the corner with a lariat that Swytch ducks! He hooks Remy up in an inverted facelock and lifts him up vertical! But Remy flips out, landing on his feet behind the Dual Crown Champion!

JH: Remy and Swytch exchanging blows in the corner and now an inverted vertical suplex-- no! Remy counters out of it!

Swytch drops down to the canvas just as Kennedy leaps off the top turnbuckle, landing on Remy’s shoulders and DRIVING HIS HEAD INTO THE CANVAS WITH A HURRACANRANA!

JH: Another HurraKennedy to Remy!

TM: Did you see that?! Swytch knew she was coming, Kennedy knew he would duck! Telepathy, I tell you!

April gets back to the apron, ready to charge into the ring when the lights flicker, confusing three standing participants. Oh, Remy’s confused too. He’s just on the canvas trying to catch his breath.

The TNT-tron flickers into life and we’re greeted with some rather amateurish camera work. From it’s position hidden away in what we assume is a gym back due to the sock partially hanging over the lens, the camera captures in glorious low definition one Remy Barteaux, leaning against a wall in a backstage corridor, rubbing his chin scruff and chatting to a certain slimy limy. We join them part way through a conversation.

Riggs: …made it pretty clear, she’s not safe. I mean look at the facts, mate, there were three of you to the two of them but somehow she still managed to take a beating from both of them…at the same time. You couldn’t stop it, neither could Silent Bob.

The words are softly spoken and dripping with what Riggs passes as concern. His eyes glimmer with promise as he sees his relentless logic wearing down the defences of the Cajun.

Remy: Ah still ain’t happy wit’ dhis. April --

Riggs: What she doesn’t know, mate. And she’ll be a lot safer with a discreet entourage flanking her. You won’t have to worry about those ruskies teaming up on her again. Two o’ them, a dozen of you mate, think about it.

Remy’s silence indicates that he’s doing just that, the internal struggle showing on his face as he glances up toward the heavens as if looking for an easy answer.

Riggs: The resources, the man power, all at your disposal. People will know not to touch what’s yours, your title…your girl…

The Cajun huffs, shakes his head and chuckles to himself….as he holds out a hand to Riggs.

Remy: Ah must be crazy.

Riggs: Crazy like a fox, mate.

The slimy little rat bastard takes his new bosses hand and shakes it firmly, his thin lips twisted into a dark grin.

Riggs: Or should I say…Mr. Barteaux.

JH: What the… what was that?

TM: Did Remy just… did…

Yeah, all those questions that can be finished and the ones that can’t are all going through April’s mind. She stares at the TNTtron, which is no longer showing the confusing piece of footage. Remy gets up on his knees, shaking his head and trying to yell something to get April’s attention. She spins around and looks directly at her boyfriend, shaking her head at him.

TM: I don’t think things are all peachy in this relationship.

JH: Well, I… what did we just see? Did Remy just accept Riggs’ offer?

TM: I don’t know if that’s what we saw. Er… no! I think we did just see that! I mean, what else could it have been?

April shakes her head more determined now, saying something to Remy that we can’t hear but from the look on his face, it’s not something he wants to hear. Remy gets to his feet and tries to respond but April turns and walks up the catwalk, continuing to shake her head as she picks up the pace, almost running from the ring now.

TM: Hey, April! There’s a match going on!

JH: It looks like April is calling his match quits now.

Remy makes a move after her but finds himself caught up! Swytch grabs Remy by the hair, dragging the Cajun backwards into an inverted facelock. Swytch snaps backwards, DRIVING REMY’S HEAD INTO THE CANVAS WITH AN INVERTED EVENFLOW DDT!

JH: The Mind Fuck! Swytch nailing the Mind Fuck off the distraction!

Swytch makes the cover, hooking Remy’s leg while Kennedy counts along with Tony Clarke.


[align=center]ONE!


TWO!!


THREE!!!
[/align]


MA: Here are your winners… KENNEDY AND SSSSWWWYYYTTTCCHHH!!!

“Return of the Phantom Stranger” reprises over the speakers as Swytch refuses to get off the pin cover, even with coaxing from the referee. Kennedy hooks a finger in the back of Swytch’s vest, tugging at him until he relinquishes the pin. Swytch gets back to his feet, staring down Kennedy until they share a quick celebratory kiss.

JH: Swytch and Kennedy pick up the victory but what the heck is going on between Remy and April?

TM: It’s obvious! Remy lied to April! He lied to her about taking Riggs’ offer so April left his lying ass behind!

JH: Is that what happened? We’re going to find out but not right now. We’re out of time here tonight.

TM: Next week you’ll see, Jonathan. April is going to reveal everything. That Remy lied to her. That she’s left his lying, cheating ass behind. And that she’s ready to give me a chance! You wouldn’t dare miss it!

JH: Oh for God’s sake!

[align=center]-= © FIW. The Best damn E-Fed. PERIOD =-[/align]
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Legend
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Quick Results:
Loon 2.5 def. Graver via pinfall after Ben Wesmorland thwarted interference from Smarty Smark & Company

FIW Tag Team Championship
Kailey Lane & Sam Kinloch def. Carl Lucas & the skull cowboy to win the championships when Sam pinned cowboy

Ragin' def. Onikage via pinfall

Intergender Tag Team Match
Swytch & Kennedy def. Remy Barteaux & April Lynn when Swytch pinned Remy after April walked out on him
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