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| Hallowe'Volt '06; 11-01-06 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 2 2006, 04:32 AM (280 Views) | |
| Minister Wighty | Nov 2 2006, 04:32 AM Post #1 |
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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[align=center]![]() GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT CONFIDENCE The International champion springs from the corner and scoops down to the mat grabbing up his trusty fork he lost possession of earlier in the match. He quickly drives upward with the handle of the fork and jabs it into the throat of his masked opponent. XK gasps and coughs from the blow to the throat and staggers into a nearby corner where Toan begins to dig the fork into his mask as Kitten swats at his opponents hands in an attempt to remain masked. The Deathmatch Bastard digs in more violently and smiles as he begins to pull up on the mask and Mark Jackson pleads with him to stop! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO SPIT OUT ALL REASON YEAH Prime dashes in and kicks Matt in the gut before setting up for the Authority Bomb with hands around the King's throat ready to lift but he is stopped by Amy Spencer; who is accusing Prime of knocking her over so he could blind Impact. Impact plays along with the claims while he cleans out his eyes. Prime pleads his case quickly but no quickly enough as Impact can see again. Prime gets around Amy only to get a thumb to the eye for the second time, Amy didn't turn around quick enough to see it. Impact knees Prime in the gut twice before walking him to the middle of the ring and striking him with a third knee to the gut. Impact hoists Prime onto his shoulders. Impact throws Prime around and plants him with the Head on Collision! I'm tired of holdin' up the weight, the weight of the motherfuckin' world. All I want is to just get right Kailey stumbles backwards into the ropes, holding to them as she eyes Kennedy. She takes in a deep breath and waits as she notices Kennedy stirring on the canvas. Kailey moves to the turnbuckle, pulling herself to the second rope. Kennedy climbs to her feet, dazed and confused. She moves around the canvas, turning JUST AS KAILEY COMES OFF THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE WITH A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!!! NO!!! Kennedy holds her hands up and breaks the axe handle! She buries her boot into Kailey’s midsection AND PLANTS HER WITH AN IMPLANT DDT!!! HERE RIGHT NOW !!! Prime stands up and stands back in a corner. He is considering his strategy as Hutch shows fight to start getting back up. Hutch turns around into a hard right hand from Prime to knock him back down. Hutch gets right back up and gets hammered one more time. Hutch pulls himself up off the canvas and Prime runs through him with a shoulder block, knocking Hutch through the ropes to the outside. Prime pulls Hutch up, slams a knee deep into his gut before looking out at the rabid crowd. Prime claps his arms around Hutch and flips him over...OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX AND HUTCH IS SENT CRASHING THROUGH THE SLAM! ANNOUNCE TABLE! We struggle and fight just to get in the grave That's overflowing. Clock's ticking on my 15 minutes of fame Come on now He rolls himself to the ropes and uses them to haul his ass up, and turns back to his writhing opponent. Quickly he darts to his corner and snatches up his white board, scrawling something on it before showing it to the crowd. It reads “BUST A MOVE!”, and he proceeds to get down with his bad self as he break dances over to the challenger. Once he’s jiggied his way over to the Loon, he pops up and drops a Senton Leg Drop across his head and covers for the pin! 1 2 3... Nightmare is indeed bleeding profusely, cut open from the staple, Ahriman holds the staple gun high before trying to shoot another staple into Night’s head, he blocks Ahriman’s hand though and after a brief struggle Nightmare picks up Ahriman bearhug style, with a tremendous roar he goes sprinting towards the other entryway railing, driving Ahriman back first into it! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT CONFIDENCE The Fighting Spirit Champion wiggles about as he tries to get out from under Onikage, ending up on his back, and that’s when the Straight Edge Savior applies pressure to his mounted position, keeping the smaller man just as he is as he starts throwing elbow strikes at him, Graver tries to lift up his arms to block them but they are just too strong. At first they start out relatively slow but with each blow the former Ordinary member picks up steam with his shots, steadily making them quicker and quicker as he hammers away on the reigning champ with quite the ruthless aggression, a look in his eyes showing that Onikage seems to have snapped on Graver. Clarke circles around the two of them as Onikage continues to pound the Reject of FIW into grounded meat, Tony’s expression becoming more and more grim as Graver’s body becomes more and more lifeless than it was the previous second, suddenly a few gasps start ringing out through out the arena. A dark crimson liquid starts covering Onikage’s elbow pad and the ends of his black tape, staining them with blood, though it isn’t the only thing that gets coated, soon blood is disturbingly squirting upward from Graver’s face, splashing against Onikage’s mask and upper body, slowly running down it, even a bit splashes onto Tony Clarke! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO SPIT OUT ALL REASON YEAH Graver suddenly starts swinging his arms around and hopping to strike different poses with his legs as if mocking the martial arts background of two of his challengers. A grin spreads across his face as suddenly he turns to Kiyoshi, spraying a mouthful of beer in mist like fashion, blinding the second biggest man in the match! I'm flushing the trust of everyone, stabbing in the back and thinkin' they can break me. Set my sight can't die until I'm done Xtreme Kitten tells Johnson to begin to count Kiyoshi out, but Johnson refuses and he points over to Lance who is charging at Xtreme Kitten, but Xtreme Kitten counters Lance’s clothesline attempt with a flapjack. Lance crashes to the canvas, but he is quickly backed up on his feet and he is whipped to the turnbuckle by Xtreme Kitten. Xtreme Kitten charges at Lance for a turnbuckle clothesline, but Lance takes Xtreme Kitten down to the second turnbuckle face first with a drop toe hold. Xtreme Kitten grabs his face as he lies on his back against the turnbuckle. Lance walks over to Xtreme Kitten and grabs him by the arm and Lance wraps his arm around Xtreme Kitten’s neck and he plants him with a DDT. Xtreme Kitten crashes face first into the mat after the botched move! MIND ENDURANCE!!! Ragin’ grabs Remy by the hair and moves into a standing headscissor. He grabs Remy around the waist and hoists the Ultimate Endurance Champion onto his shoulders. Ragin’ pushes the Cajun up by the britches, but Remy rolls forward and slides down Ragin’s back!! He grabs Ragin’ by the leg, pulling Ragin’ off his feet. Remy quickly tangles Ragin’s legs up and weaves his own into them then falls backward to the mat! Ragin’ screams out in pain, reaching back to try and break the hold, but unable to bend his body enough. He claws at the mat, trying to reach the ropes but they’re too far out of his reach! Never wanted any more than what I deserve, better bring it I'm takin' it all. Fuck an inch 'cause I'm bringin' a mile, It's on now Brighty manages to control his movement drops straight south onto Madrox's chest! MADROX MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! BRIGHTY'S BACKSIDE SLAMS INTO THE CANVAS! Madrox is quickly up to his feet and runs to the ropes as Brighty is getting up. Madrox slides through Brighty's legs and then leaps up on top of Brighty as he turns around...HURRICANRANA! To his credit Brighty is quickly up to his feet but is groggy and vulnerable to Madrox taking him into a corner. Madrox tees off on the former Slam! Superstar of the Year with four hard right hands that go unanswered. Madrox looks for an irish whip across the ring but Brighty holds on to reverse! Madrox is shot into the turnbuckle but he controls himself, he leaps up onto the second rope and SPRINGBOARDS OVER HIS SHOULDER INTO A CROSS BODY BLOCK! 1 2 3... Whimpering Graver tries his best puppy dog eyes face and tries his best to weasel his way out from Kiyoshi’s grasp, though it is to no avail as Kiyoshi slowly shakes his head no with a grim expression on his face, he surprisingly whips Graver away from him, only to hold on and pull him right back into the welcoming from a vicious lariat! Amazingly the lariat doesn’t take Graver off of his feet, rather he gasps and groans as he tries to talk though it is as if from the sheer impact of the move his wind pipe has been caved in, slowly he staggers backwards as Nakahata releases the hold on his wrist, watching him calmly. Though he doesn’t stand there all day as like a lion stalking it’s prey he marches forward after the champion, looking like he might be in the mood to end this match, but suddenly a hand rests on his shoulder and whips him around, before Nightmare can even say what it seems like he was trying to say, Kiyoshi connects with a palm strike. The palm strike was so powerful it sends Nightmare flying right over the top rope and hitting the apron with a thud GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT CONFIDENCE Remy looks shocked down at his victim, expecting a much more beardy, Russiany-type guy under his boot. But he shrugs, not looking a gift horse in the mouth, until he turns around and spies a bear. Ragin’ gets another wicked sneer on his mug before BLASTING REMY IN THE GRILL WITH A HAYMAKER!! Remy’s eyelids flutter, but Ragin’ isn’t done, FORCING his head between his legs, then WRENCHING Remy upward onto his shoulders! Ragin’ tosses Remy’s legs outward, falling into a sit-out position, CRUSHING HIS FACE INTO THE MAT!!! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO SPIT OUT ALL REASON YEAH Both competitors get back to their feet and Tomoko is the first to move in hooking up Toan and quickly lifts him off his feet with the Tomoko Driver. She drops to a seated position as she completes the finisher and then quickly draws her body over his legs applying as much weight as she can to his shoulders. That is until out of no where she is victim of a devastating Cat Kick to the face and falls backwards on the mat. XK drops his body over Tomoko and hooks a leg. Mark Jackson is already in position from her pin attempt and begins to count! This fire, is growing, it's burning, deep inside of me. Focused, driven, certain, the way it's got to be FIRE, GROWING, BURNING, DEEP INSIDE OF ME!!! FOCUSED, DRIVEN, CERTAIN, THE WAY IT'S GOT TO BE!!! Toan gets up to his feet and turns around looking at Kailey, he kicks her in the midsection and he hoist her up into the air with a one arm falcon arrow, but as he is goes to drop her down she is able to counter the move and she lands on her feet. Toan is pissed and he grabs the stop sign and slams it over her head and he whips her into the ropes and as she rebounds back Toan goes for another hiptoss, but Kailey counters the move twirling into a headscissor takedown, but she twirls a couple more times before planting Toan down with a DDT onto the chair in the middle of the ring. CROOKED (No Trust) LIAR (Conman) DRUNK WITH (Power) MENTOR (Taught me everything that I know) SO WRONG, WRONG WRONG WRONG Ninja stirs very little on the canvas as the figure steps over him, dropping the chair to their side. A pair of pale hands reaches up and takes a hold of the hood, whipping it back to reveal. Most of the fans jeer her actions, taking out one of the most popular champions on the roster, while a small contingent of NGIW faithful burst into a chorus of cheers for their favourite hardcore Hellcat! A sick smirk twists her ruby red lips as she takes the zip to her top and slowly peels it open to reveal a shiny, silver belt strapped around her waist. The cameras try to zoom in as she reaches round to her back and unhooks the belt, all the while her eyes fixed on the Cruiserweight champion, her studded tongue moistening her ruby reds. As Ninja tries to push himself off the mat Ghost drops down beside him and grabs the back of his mask, RAMMING his face back down into the canvas. She pulls his head back up and shoves the belt under him, making sure he gets a good, hard look at it. 1 2 3!!! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED The heavy guitars of Mushroomhead's new jam "Save Us" rock over the fans in attendance as bright white light blasts through the entryway, revealing a silhouette. That black figure moves against the light, trekking toward the ring. The guitars die and the lights turn a moody shade of pale blue. Tier walks through the reaching arms of the fans, face blank and emotionless. SO FUCKING DETERMINED GO!!![/align] |
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| Minister Wighty | Nov 2 2006, 05:02 AM Post #2 |
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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Pyros EXPLODE from one side of the arena to the other in shades of red, white, blue, and green! The ReVolt logo swivels on the VolTrons as Mudvayne's "Determined" thunders across the audience! Jonathan Hitchen: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Comcast Spectatcor/Wachovia Complex in Philidelphia, Pennsylvania! I'm Jonathan Hitchen... Chip Martin: I'm Chip Martin! Constance Loire: And I'm Constance Loire! And this! ... is ReVolt! MA: The opening contest LIIIIIVE at FIW Hallowe’eVolt is a TAG TEAM match scheduled for one fall!! [align=center]CALL ME THE AMERICAN NIGHTMARE CALL ME THE AMERICAN DREAM CALL ME YOUR SOUL CORRUPTED CALL ME ANYTHING YOU NEED![/align] CM: We have to start by seeing THIS asswipe? CL: Well…I have to admit, even though a lot of things about Nightmare piss me off, I’m thankful that he wants to help Tier. The lights cut out immediately after Rob Zombie begins screaming the lyrics of "The Great American Nightmare", causing the crowd in attendance to cheer as loud as they possibly can which pretty much deafens anyone within a 5 mile radius. Dark purple strobes and searchlights begin to assault the entire arena now, as the fans' eager attention turns to the stage which has been pretty much engulfed in purple smoke. After a few moments which seem like forever to the rabid fans in the audience, the smoke disperses just enough to allow the fans to focus on the hulking form of Nightmare standing tall and defiant in the entryway, the blazing strobes giving the Prince of Pain a very ghoulish look. MA: On his way to the ring at this time, from Portland, Oregon, he weighs 275 pounds and is a former FIW WOOOOORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, "THE PRINCE OF PAIN", NIGHTMAAAAAAARE!!!! [align=center]YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER! YEAH! WHO DO YOU LOVE? YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER! WHO DO YOU LOVE, YEAH![/align] He lingers for a couple moments, soaking up the tremendous reaction, then he steps through the smoke and down the stairs making his way down the walkway, keeping stoic focus on the ring. Once he reaches the ring he stops for a moment to doff his coat off of his massive shoulders and drop it to the floor, before hauling himself onto the apron. He enters the ring, going to one corner and climbing up onto it to show the cross devil horns for the crowd to shoot flashbulbs at. Nightmare steps down, producing a single white lily from his trouser pocket. He picks off the petals of the flower, crushing each petal in his hand and scattering them all over his corner. Once his ritual is complete Nightmare settles into his corner watching his opponent or the entryway intently, as his music fades away. JH: Nightmare’s partner this week is the same man he teamed up with last week, a man he has apparently put aside his differences with so that they can focus on getting themselves a winning streak. From the arena P.A. system arises Grant Rice’s music. The bass thumps through the arena’s sound system as we await Grant. [align=center]You Can Hate Me You Can Hate Me Hate The Air That I Breathe Air That I Breathe Cause I’m The Next Thing To Be Next Thing To Be Well I Ain’t You and You Ain’t Me![/align] MA: His partner, hailing from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing 248 lbs, GRAAAAANT! RIIIIIICE! Grant slowly emerges from the curtains and onto the stage. He is met with a chorus of boo’s from the fans before he even has a chance to do anything to provoke them. Grant just ignores them as he walks forward before stopping to look out into the crowd. He shakes his head before continuing down the steps and proceeds to walk down the aisle toward the ring. Grant nears the ring as he glances off into the crowd but pays them no attention before he climbs up the stairs and into the ring. Grant takes off his shirt and walks over to the ropes where he goes to throw it into the crowd, but he catches himself and tosses it to the mat below which draws some heat from the crowd. Grant waves them off as he walks to the corner and awaits the start of the match. JH: A pretty good-looking team, I think, although some tension is still evident thanks to Grant’s far than friendly comments it’s far less than last week, I think they’re confident now that they have one win under their belts. CM: A little? Grant did nothing BUT talk about the win! The arena plunges into darkness as "O Fortuna" gongs in and rings out all around the arena. All attention, cinemagraphically speaking, is drawn to the ReVoltrons which both present a video that puts Prime in a masterpiece light. In this video package he poses in and out of shadows, flexing in flickers of white light and then the choir culminates into the final chord… [align=center]YEAAAA![/align] CL: Now, honestly, Prime has lost his fucking mind. Saliva's "I Walk Alone" rocks the PA as the afore mentioned darkness now gives way to a spectacular and celestial light show. The ReVoltrons now light up with Primes symbol bouncing and vibrating in and out of focus beneath a sheer static overtone. Prime walks out onto the stage with his head hung... [align=center]I WALK ALOOOONE![/align] MA: Weighing 310 lbs, From San Diego, California, PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIME! Standing before the capacity crowd, Prime reels back and pops off a shouting Triple H pose into the Randy Orton “Legend Killer” pose but modified into more of a flex and grin. A machine gun pyro effect fires all around Prime through the chain link fencing as he holds his pose. The pyro smoke intentionally consumes his body and he soon burst through the smoke all pumped up, shouting, and ready to go. He makes his way confidently to the ring, eyeing his opponent the whole time. With ease, he leaps up onto the apron and all four posts and four matching ceiling sets burst in a sparkling white flare. Prime ducks between the ropes and heads right to the turnbuckle. Once he stands on the middle rope, Prime throws out his "Prime pose" once again and then leaps backward off the turnbuckle and bounces to warm up before his match. JH: These two men knocked the hell out of each other last week on ReVolt, I would venture it’s safe to say that the advantage goes to Grant Rice and Nightmare on the basis of continuity, at least they can get along! [align=center]DING DING DING~!!![/align] As soon as the bell sounds, Grant Rice pairs off with Sean Madrox, locking up with him as Nightmare and Prime retreat to the apron, Grant jockeys with Sean for a few moments before sneaking in a toe kick to the gut, following up by clipping his jaw with a hard right hook! Sean staggers back a little bit but when Grant goes to press the attack by lifting Sean to his feet, Sean counters with a sitout jawbreaker, following up by planting a nice dropkick right into the chest of Grant Rice! Grant crashes to the mat below and Madrox spreads his arms, welcoming the boos from the crowd, then sets up and follows up with a standing moonsault, landing hard on the chest of Grant. CM: Sean’s having his way with Grant Rice here in the early-going! Sean picks Grant up to his feet now, lacing his chest with a harsh knife edge chop, before backing Grant up into the ropes and shooting him off, Sean jumps for a dropkick and connects cleanly, sending Grant down again! Sean this time hooks the leg for a cover, counting off on his fingers with the other hand.. [align=center]1! 2! Easy kickout by Grant.[/align] JH: Sean is so sure of himself in there, that he’s actually willing to waste time trying to piss the crowd off! Sean now picks Grant up again, but does so slowly so that he can continue to jaw to the crowd and especially to Nightmare about how this match is in the bag, but that gives Grant time to take him down with a nice single leg pick that crashes Madrox face-first, Grant scoots around to his side and tries to lock on Straight Mizery but Sean Madrox has it scouted, using his great leg strength to roll over and send Grant facefirst into his corner, but that gives the weary Rice ample time to recover, as Sean is a little slow getting up, once he does though the multi-time World Champion charges Grant Rice only to get a mouthful of Timberlands, Sean staggers back and Grant follows up by locking in a waistlock and taking him down with a side belly-to-belly suplex! Grant looks up after the suplex to see Nightmare yelling at him to cover, he does so.. [align=center]1.. 2.. Kickout by Sean Madrox![/align] JH: Looks like Nightmare’s team is beginning to build some momentum! CL: They had better! I’m getting sick of seeing Grimace this much already! He doesn’t get much chance to recover though as Grant goes for the legs, stretching Madrox into a single leg crab, working on that leg and making it his target. Madrox growls in pain as he fights his way towards the ropes nearest his corner, Prime seems to be reaching out towards Sean and out of sight of the referee, he grabs Madrox’s arm and pulls him towards the ropes so that Sean can grab them! Grant is forced to break the hold, but as well this allows Prime an opportunity to slap Sean on the back, tagging himself in! the referee sees this and calls it a legal tag, Grant has barely enough time to react to Prime coming in before he wipes Grant out with a clothesline! Prime stops to flex for the crowd before he lays in a series of heavy stomps to Grant, Nightmare on the apron is pissed that the ref would allow that, but isn’t arguing as that would be worse off for his team. Prime hoists Grant to his feet now, laying in a couple clubbing shots to the back before whipping Grant into the ropes, picking him up and letting him fall in a flapjack! Grant bounces to his feet, holding his chest in pain, Prime locks him up and throws him with a belly to belly suplex! He pulls Grant back to him and makes the cover.. [align=center]1.. 2.. Save by Nightmare![/align] A boot to the head breaks up the count by the referee, Nightmare now is beckoning Prime to fight, luring him over to the other side of the ring, Prime’s short temper and intensity dictating that he would follow the veteran, Nightmare exits to the apron, letting the referee be a wedge between himself and Prime, this is by the way giving Grant Rice enough time to get to his feet, he seems poised and ready as Prime finally turns around, Grant rushes forward and pops the giant with a Yakuza kick! JH: Uzi! You could hear the smack of that boot from all the way over here! Prime staggers, dazed by the shot but he isn’t going down, Grant fires himself off the ropes and hits ANOTHER Yakuza kick, enough force to knock a normal man down for the count, but of course Prime is no normal man. Grant on urging from Nightmare and the fans charges the ropes looking for one more UZI kick, but Sean Madrox sees his opportunity, clubbing Grant in the back of the neck with an elbow shot! Grant stumbles forward from the sudden jerk in momentum, which stumbles him in turn right into a BIG BOOT from Prime! JH: Damn! Sean Madrox had to involve himself right when it looked like Grant Rice had the momentum going! Prime covers again, hooking the leg.. [align=center]1… 2… Kickout by Grant Rice![/align] CM: Prime’s looking frustrated! I think he might snap again! Prime now picks Grant up roughly again, by the throat this time, and gorilla presses him into the air, aweing the crowd with his amazing strength, Grant does everything he can to wiggle out of Prime’s grasp but it’s not to be, so Rice resorts to the one thing rule-breaking assholes always resort to, he grabs Prime’s face and rakes his eyes! Prime drops him, Grant landing on his feet a little awkwardly but he still has enough balance to kick Prime in the midsection and take the big man down with a DDT! JH: That was the counter Grant needed! He HAS to tag Nightmare in now, Prime and Madrox have really worn him down! CM: Prime, bite his ankle, do some damn thing quick before Grimace ruins this match! Grant is still down after the DDT, as Nightmare and Sean Madrox are begging to get into the ring pretty much, but thankfully for Nightmare’s team Grant is the first man moving, rolling over onto his stomach so he can combat crawl to the corner, he’s nearly there as Prime reaches out and tags Sean in, Sean comes in and tries to grab Grant’s boot to pull him away but as a last ditch effort Grant reaches out and tags Nightmare in, to a HUGE response! CM: Awww, damn it! Now this match sucks! It was fine before HE got in! Nightmare comes in full of fire as he lays in a chop across the chest to Sean Madrox, followed up by Nightmare clinching Sean in a bearhug and unleashing several HARD knee strikes to his midsection. Nightmare follows that by hooking him up and FLIPPING him across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex! Nightmare pops up and raises the devil horns to the crowd, every last one of them eating this up happily. JH: That’s how you throw a suplex, Prime! CL: Please, Bitchen. Kicking Sean Madrox’s ass isn’t a HUGE accomplishment, anybody that comes in here off the street could do it. Speaking of Prime, he’s in the ring now staring down Nightmare, anger and intensity taking the Evolution of Excellence over, he charges Nightmare and barrels him into the corner, the fans erupting watching two of the biggest men in FIW go at it! Prime and Nightmare club away at each other, Nightmare finally getting a quick advantage by kicking Prime in the gut so he can get out of the corner but Prime is immediately back on the attack with a club to the back of the neck! Nightmare answers back with a Mongolian chop, slamming his hands down across Prime’s collarbones! Prime knees Nightmare HARD in the stomach, staving off this little strike war for now, Prime then follows up by whipping Nightmare into the ropes—no, Nightmare reverses, and on the rebound PICKS PRIME UP, WHIRLING HIM AND SLAMMING HIM WITH A BLACK HOLE SLAM! JH: Holy SHIT!!! End of Days to a three-hundred-and-ten-pounder! It’s a rarity to see strength displayed like that! The crowd cheers excitedly at Nightmare’s display of strength, as he beats his chest ROARING to the crowd, but he doesn’t see Sean Madrox who sneaks in unnoticed, kicking Night in the gut and planting him with a double arm DDT! He stands over Nightmare after this, taunting his infamous ‘X’ to the now-horrendously booing crowd. JH: That opportunistic rat Madrox just spiked Nightmare with X Marks Tha Spot! CL: This match is turning into a clusterfuck, I can’t even tell who’s legal! I don’t think the crowd gives a shit though! He backs into the corner, seemingly poised and ready to knock Nightmare out cold with the Blackout, Nightmare finally gets to his feet with help from the ropes and as Madrox swoops in to knock him senseless, Grant Rice steps in front of him, grabbing Madrox’s boot and twisting it horrendously in an anklelock! Madrox goes down to his belly and now Grant has the anklelock locked firmly in! CM: OH NO! JH: Straight Mizery! Grant countered a Blackout that would have definetly finished Nightmare into Straight Mizery, that’s gotta be payback for Nightmare saving him from the pin earlier on! Grant seems to be paying no mind to the fact that he’s not the legal man, he is pulling and twisting on Madrox’s ankle, SCREAMING at him to tap, Madrox meanwhile is fighting with every bit of strength that he has to reach the ropes, but Grant Rice has that anklelock on good and tight! CM: Fight it, Sean! You’re the future of this company, man! Fight out! Grant continues to grind away at the anklelock and it looks apparent that Sean Madrox is about to tap, when seemingly out of nowhere Prime slides underneath the bottom rope and barrels toward Grant Rice, ELIMINATING him with a clothesline from hell!!! JH: Aw, GOD! Grant just got laid out! CM: Haha! It’s academic now! Sean limps away using the corner to pull himself up, and now Prime is standing over Grant’s motionless form, listening to Sean yell at him to ‘f*cking cover him’. Prime turns to face Sean, he repeats his message this time accentuated with a shove to the massive chest of Prime, Prime turns back to Grant as Sean is exiting to his apron…Prime turns and grabs Sean, pulling him back to the center of the ring, he scoops him up and PLOWS him into the canvas with an Authority Bomb!! CM: What the hell?! Why! Why the fuck did you do that! JH: Authority Bomb to his own partner, and Prime is walking out of here! Prime indeed is exiting the ring and walking up the walkway with an arrogant smile on his face, disappearing behind the curtain as Nightmare lingers on the apron for a second, then shrugs and enters the ring, dragging Grant Rice on top of Sean as Grant is the legal man! JH: There’s the cover!! [align=center]1! 2! 3! *ding ding*[/align] CM: DAMN! Why do they keep fucking WINNING?! JH: We may be looking at the next Tag Team Champions, gentlemen, as unlikely as they may be they are an awesome pair! MA: Your winners by pinfall, Nightmare and GRANT! RRRRRICE! “You Ain’t Me” reprises over the system now, as Nightmare celebrates his victory, Grant just now coming around, when he gets back to his feet Nightmare and Grant eye each other, their expressions cold…but they nod in silent agreement, Grant now leaving the ring to let Night celebrate the win. CM: So, what’s next? JH: A first for FIW programming I believe and some thing that could be very interesting. CL: More like dull as watching fucking Chip try and fail to get laid. CM: Hey! JH: Don’t be so mean Conse, it’s not that dull of a contest. CM: Hey! What the hell, man?! CL: Ha, ha, Bitchen pwned you. [align=center] Darren Malakian's high-pitched and strained vocals shock the crowd as he and Serj Tankian rock System of a Down's "Cigaro" into our eardrums. Strobe lights flash from the entryway in time with the jamming guitar as smoke begins to pour out. Graver strolls out onstage with a beer in each hand. He puts both bottles to his lips to pour beer into his gullet before smashing them over his head in a shower of dark amber liquid and broken glass. MA: Making his way to the ring, from Detroit, Michigan... he weighs in tonight at ONE-hundred NINETY pounds... GRRRRRRRAAAAAAYYYYVEEEERRRRRRR!!! Graver makes his way down the walkway to the ring, ignoring the fans' assaults before taking a short running start and sliding under the bottom rope. Graver gets to his feet and raises a double deuce to all the fans, getting showered with boos. The Hardcore Fuckamaniac thumbs his nose as he paces to his corner. He hops up onto the turnbuckle and grabs his crotch, flipping a deuce to the fans as he sneers at them. They show him the same respect before he hops down, ready to fight. CL: Graver’s so fucking winning this, he probably didn’t even need that special training. CM: But without it, Graver could never make his eyes go green and his hair blonde! JH: I wouldn’t count out Onikage, we may not have seen him all week, but I’m sure he was doing some serious training. CL: Yeah, being a friggin luchadore from Hell. CM: Huh? JH: Nothing, nothing, pay no attention to what Conse said. A soft yet haunting tune begins to play over the P.A. system as a man’s voice rings out… [align=center]”Journey with me Into the mind of a maniac Doomed to be a killer”[/align] The lights become a soft blue as the soft yet haunting tune slowly becomes distorted and it takes a few moments for it to clear up. Once it does, it sounds like it has seemingly transited from one melody to another as a new man’s voice sings. [align=center]The shadow within me… The sorrow at my feet…[/align] As soon as the last word is uttered the music picks up and the quick paced yet harmonic song “Simple Survival” kicks in. The ReVolTron springs to life with various images of Onikage’s in-ring career as well as various disturbing and distorted images. Jeers shower the arena from the fans packing it as they await the arrival of the man. [align=center]The shadow within me… The sorrow at my feet… The shadow within me… Gonna lead the revival… No Simple Survival for me[/align] Within the sea of humanity a small reaction from people on the bottom level occurs, many of them trying to make it to a center point within the sea. Slowly a figure becomes visible in with all of these FIW fans, a figure that is getting a heated welcome. The enigmatic masked man pushes his way through them, making it to the fencing. He leaps over it and slides into the ring, the Savior of Sorrow soaking in all of this hatred. Onikage sits in the corner as he leans his head back against the middle turnbuckle. JH: He seems quite focused for this contest. CL: Any one finding this all a bit over the fucking top for a bobbing for apples competition? CM: Me. JH: In either case, let’s send it down to Anderson so he can explain the rules. Michael Anderson stands in front of two stools that hold giant tin buckets filled with waters and apples. He looks between the two men and brings the micro phone to his lips. MA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest on Hallowe'Volt is a bobbing for apples contest! Each contestant will be hand cuffed and given four minutes to get as many apples out of their bucket as they can. At the end of their time, their total will be counted up, and the one with the most apples retrieved wins the contest. But first, please allow the contestants to give their last remarks before this begins. Graver, you are first. Michael bows slightly as he hands the micro phone over to Graver who gladly takes it from the announcer. He rears back sharply his hand, as if he is going to strike Anderson with the mic, only to laugh at the ring announcer when he flinches in fear. Graver: Oh, Andy, you're a pussy. Owny-kah-gay, you buttfuck marsupials. And ah... that's all I've gotta say, really. The Hardcore Fuckamaniac drops the micro phone and walks over to his bucket while the fans happily jeer him. Michael quickly scoops up the fallen mic and brings it over to the corner Onikage is sitting in. The Savior of Sorrow snatches the piece of technical equipment out of the FIW staff member’s hand. Onikage: As always Edmond, you choose your words oh so carefully and string them together masterfully in the art of the English language. A subtle round of laughter rumbles through the crowd at the sarcasm soaked comment from the masked man. Which seems to go right over Graver’s head as he nods in furiously and looks quite proud of this “compliment”. Onikage: Though the sole reason I am competing in this mockery of a competitive contest and over all waste of every one’s time is simple. I want to see your expression when I defeat you in this ridiculous hand picked game of yours’. Not only because I have the ideal art piece for your canvas. But because when it comes right down to it, I don’t like a single ounce of your being. The reason being is that you are exactly like every filthy, disgusting and idiotic peon that is sitting in this very arena. Your sheer lack of social skills and manners is shameful of this country, not to mention your hometown. The fact that you think a masterpiece of the musical kind is some one cursing every moment to loud instrumentals is deplorable. Not to mention your urge to discuss your very own genitals every hour is revolting, pardon the pun. Now the jeers return with a vengeance, directing the fury at the masked oddity sitting in the corner. Though, Graver looks even more outraged at what Onikage said, screaming at the top of his lungs “I don’t fucking talk about being gentle ever!” In an attempt to avoid this situation imploding on itself, Michael snatches the micro phone from Onikage. MA: Okay, Onikage, you’re up first. Calmly Onikage pushes his body off of its perch and stands straight up on his feet. He walks towards the center of the ring and turns so Anderson can properly handcuff him. Graver fuming in the background while Onikage walks over to his bucket, bending over to prepare. MA: On your mark…get set…GO! Oni bends forward to retrive some apples through his mask's mouth-hole, but Graver so OBVIOUSLY has other plans as he calmly reaches into his front pocket and pulls a key out. JH: Good god! What is he doing!? CL: Well... and this is just a guess... but I'd say he's unlocking those handcuffs. CM: Graver!? Cheat!? Never! JH: We'll be lucky if cheating is all he does... Graver does indeed free himself of his cuffulation, tossing them aside as Oni turns away and drops an apple into the bucket. He goes to dunk his head back in as Graver grabs him by the hair and FORCES HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE WATER!!! JH: GOOD LORD! Graver's trying to drown him! Onikage overpowers Graver, but being handcuffed there's little he can do as Graver starts beating him about the face with a few well-placed fists. The bell rings as though that were necessary, but Graver just boots Onikage in the butt to send him between the ropes to the outside. JH: I don't know why I expected any less from Graver. CL: 'Cuz you're a bitch. It's why we call you Bitchen. CM: Or Hitch-Bitch. CL: Yeah, Hitch-Bitch, that's my favorite. Graver reaches under the ring and drags out an old friend of his in the form of a barbed wire-wrapped cinderblock! He HEAVES it upward as Oni rises and CRACKS him in the facemask with it, sending them both to the ground! Graver lays on Oni's chest and begins barrelling fists into Oni's face, eventually coming away red as Onikage's mouth seems to be bleeding! JH: This is madness! Someone stop this! Hitchen's headset is apparently a radio to call in some zebras, as our refereeing staff comes down to ringside to pry Graver off of Onikage. The Hardcore Fuckamaniac grins and looks at his bloody fist with satisfaction, Oni rolling over onto his stomach to glare at Graver as officials attempt to de-cuff him. The camera comes in on somewhere backstage, apparantly. We come in on the sight of two men that haven't been seen in this kind of predicament in a while. Maj Tahal and General Kumar Singh come onto our TV Screens, talking! Okay, maybe that was overhyped a bit, but still their only appearances recently have been in failed matches, so just enjoy the fact you get to see them doing something else. Ingrates... The General is in his usual snazzy suit, with matching turban, while Maj wears a stylish dark blue shirt. The camera only lets us see just above their elbows. Maj's face seems to be filled with guilt, as the General begins to talk to Maj in an annoyed tone. General: So then, Maj. Here we are. Remind me again, where is "here" exactly? Maj: The lobby of the 1st Mariner Arena... General: And why are we here and not backstage preparing you for your next match? Maj: Because we're here for my book signing... General: Ah yes! The infamous book signing. For "The Surprising Adventures of Hawhook the Misunderstood Caveman". So, is there a reason you're not on the card this week? Maj: I've been too busy writting my book... General: Is there a reason you haven't been promoing the past three weeks? Maj: I've been too busy writting my book... General: Is there a reason why you haven't been to training in three weeks, costing you, quite possibly, months of work to get you up in FIW?! Maj: I've been too busy writting my book... General: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAJ?! Do you realise what this book might've done to your career. You were going places, you were doing well. You were quite possibly the fastest rising star FIW has ever seen, then you start to write a childrens' book? A childrens' book?! Of all the things that could've slowed you down, it had to be this?! Maj: I'm sorry, General! I mean, to be honest, 3 weeks to write and publish a book is quite impressive... General: There was no need to write it at all Maj! Now I've had to literally get on my hands and knees just to make sure that you're not fired. Maj: Literally? General: I may have been praying to Mecca while on the cell phone with FIW management... Maj: General, you're Sikh, you don't pray to Mecca. I do, you don't. General: I don't? Well there's five times a day I'll never get back... Maj: Look General, I appreciate the work you've done for me (eventually), and I'm sorry that I've been distracted. But it's all better now. My book's been realised, and all I need to do is get through this one book signing, then we're back on track. I'll double up my training to make up for lost time, and before you can say "Aidell, Incus, Dankar and Sitra", we'll be the top dogs in FIW. General: Aidell, Inca, Danks and what? Maj: It's from my new book. They're the mountain ranges that Hawhook lives in... The General's face starts to fill up with visible anger. Maj: Okay, I'm sorry, I won't mention it again. All we need now is to get through this, and it's all done. General: Fine. Maj: Good, now get the rest of your costume on, while I address the crowds out there. General: Okay... The General walks off camera, while Maj walks to the left. The camera follows, as he comes across to a door. He takes a deep breath, puts on a false smile, and walks through. He comes into the lobby of the arena, where it's set up like a news conference. There's a table, with a screen behind it showing Maj's new book, and in front of that are rows of chairs. As Maj comes in he begins to speak in a loud voice. Maj: Welcome, fans. I'm here today to... Maj slowly stops speaking, as he comes to the realisation that there is actually only one person there. Sitting in the front row, is a strange looking man, clutching the book to his chest. He has rough dark hair, and has stubble. He wears a white shirt, and tattered blue jeans. Those who know Maj from before will reconise this man as the one and only Crazy Sam (Samuel L. Affleck, as his "real" name is). Maj's face drops in shock. He looks around, but sees no-one else. He gulps, as Sam rises and comes towards Maj. Sam: Hey Maj! I came to your book signing! Maj: Umm yes, Sam, I can see that. Sam: You know why? Maj: Why? Sam: Because I want my book signed! Maj: I see. Where's everyone else? Sam: Oh they're here alright. I can hear them. Can't see though, but they're always there. Telling me to do things...touch things...sniff things...sometimes, they even tell me to do things that are wrong....yet right. Maj: Sam, are you okay? You're acting a little... Sam: Crazy?! They all called me crazy...Crazy Sam they called me...well after you left me to fend for myself, I had to make money some way, so I signed up for one drug testing things. Only to keep up with rent, I had to have like 7 running at once. That's when the voices started talking to me. They're nice, most of the time. Maj: Sam, are you sure you're alright? Sam: Oh yes, I'm fine. What's that? Maj: What's what? I didn't say anything. Sam: Sh sh... Maj looks around, confused, as Sam listens to something. Something that we cannot apparantly hear. Sam: No, he'll see me...shut up! Maj: Sam, I think maybe you should... Suddenly, there's a loud bang and a voice behind Maj. Voice: HEY HEY! Maj jumps, as does Sam. He looks around to see that a person in a costume has burst through the door. Not just any costume, a Hawhook costume. A full size suit that someone's inside, with the head of the same caveman from the front cover of Maj's children's book. The man looks around, and sets his eyes on Sam. He then takes off the head of the costume, to reveal a confused General Kumar Singh. General: Sam? Is that you? Sam: AH! THERE'S A MAN INSIDE THE MAN! Maj: No, Sam, it's just the... Sam: KILL IT! Sam reaches into his pocket and pulls out a familiar weapon. A black handgun, with the initials "CUNT" written down the side in white paint. Sam pulls the trigger, sending a stream of corned beef straight at the General. Kumar Singh falls backwards in shock, screaming, landing hard on the floor. Maj grabs Sam, and pulls the "CUNT" off him. Maj: Sam, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Sam: It's a monster! Maj: It's the General! In a costume! Sam: Voices say you're lying. Maj: Pardon? Sam: They say you need to be compramised. Maj: Huh? Sam suddenly jumps on Maj, sending both of them down. Sam begins to beat Maj on the head with his paperback copy of Maj's book. Maj struggles, and finally pushes Sam off him, to the side. Maj then jumps onto Sam's back, and locks the Crazy one into a sleeper hold. Sam rolls to his side, arms flailing wildly. He makes a strange gurgling noise, as he begins to fade. His wide eyes begin to roll, showing the whites of his eyes, and after making a loud high pitch yelp, he faints. Maj sighs, as he releases the grip. He makes his way to his feet, as the corned beef covered General walks over. The two stand either side of the knocked out Sam, and look down at him. General: Now what do we do with this? Maj: I can't believe that he's come to this. All that Crazy Sam stuff was a gimmick, but this. This is just... General: Crazy? Maj: Try to get serious here. This is an old friend, and he needs ours help. General: What do you think we should do? Maj: Lock him in a room and call the police? General: Sounds good. The two look down at Crazy Sam, and grab an arm each. They then begin to drag his limp body, as the camera cuts back to the arena. |
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| Minister Wighty | Nov 2 2006, 05:12 AM Post #3 |
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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[align=center]FIW FLYCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Falls Count Anywhere and No D.Q. Match Extreme Ninja #2 © vs. Kailey Lane[/align] Kailey and Ninja had an even contest with lots of exciting action from both parties. Kailey looked set to win, but Ninja's strong determination won out and he managed to pick up a pinfall in the parking garage after performing a modified "THE FANS MARK OUT NOW!" off of Kailey's own car. Winner: Extreme Ninja #2 by pinfall. FIW’s programming cuts away from the ringside area to a round and plump stomach jiggling around. As the camera pans outward, that stomach is revealed to belonging to Smarty Smark. Who seems to be in relatively high spirits considering the fact that his plan so far hasn’t been having the greatest of results. Extreme Ninja #2 is neither out of wrestling nor has he crawled back to the billionaire brat. But, none the less, that ever smug smirk in on his chubby lips as he waddles down the hall way. Oddly enough, he heads towards the locker room area of the backstage section of the arena. It is only a few strides into his venture in the wrestlers’ locker room before he abruptly stops. His eyes focus on a door that the camera does, getting quite a few jeers from the fans in attendance at what the door reads. [align=center]Red Cell[/align] He clears his throat and brushes off the few crumbs of junk food that lingered on his “Kiss the pwnzorzer” t-shirt and khaki shorts. With a flick of his wrist he knocks on the locker room’s door and patiently waits for an answer. The answer comes in the form of the door opening and a Japanese man standing in the door way. However, this isn’t a familiar one to the FIW audience like Kiyoshi Nakahata or Daisuke the Crow. Rather he looks, but possibly could be just youthful looks, quite a bit younger than either of those two men. In fact, one could almost argue a certain pretty boy like quality to his appearance. A goofy grin spreads across the face of the man that Horrorcore fans would however be quite familiar with. Mijutso: Ahoy-hoy? The Manager of the Superstars raises an eyebrow at this young man’s presence and the lack of some one’s face he is more familiar with... not to mention his odd choice of greetings. Smarty Smark: Is LOBO Malvado inside? Quickly Momoko’s love object nods his head emphatically and his grin widens even further than before. Mijutso: Hai. Mijutso continues to nod his head as Smarty Smark stands there waiting. After a few moments of waiting for him to do some thing, and Mijutso still just nodding, Smarty starts to get impatient. His nostrils flare and he snorts quite angrily at Mijutso, which makes the grin fade and a clueless look spread across Mijutso’s charming features. Smarty Smark: Can you get him for me? Mijutso: Oh! I knew I was forgetting something! He turns his head and whispers some thing to some one in the locker room, which gets a smack from a now visible hand. He sells it quite well as a quite familiar feminine voice scolds Mijutso from within the locker room. Momoko: Bakayaro! Mijutso shuffles out of the door way clutching at the back of his head while LOBO’s frame shuffles its way in. The enigmatic man stands with his long scruffy light brown hair hanging over his shoulders and in his black Punisher T-shirt looking Smarty Smark over with a hint of curiosity on his face. LOBO: Hmmm... interesting... what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit, Mister Smark? A scoff pushes it’s way out of Smarty Smark and he smirks smugly, though this time a bit more darkly. Smarty Smark: I have a business opportunity to discuss with you. LOBO nods his head and strokes his chin’s facial hair a bit. LOBO: Well, I have a little free time to spare... go ahead, I’m listening. Smarty shifts his hands to the right as if to usher LOBO to the right direction of the hall way. Smarty Smark: Then let us take a stroll, some thing tells me we have a lot to discuss about this certain business. Malvado and Smarty, looking like two evil deranged peas in a pod, walk side by side down the hall way, getting out of ear shot of the camera. Suddenly Mijutso’s head pokes out into the hall way and watches the two walk off giving a theatrically curious glance in their direction. Mijutso: Hmmm... I wonder what they are talking about. From inside a heavy sigh is heard before a raspy Irish accent follows... Toan: Momoko, get that dumb bastard back in here so we can try getting him to understand what he's suppose to do again. For the second time now Momoko’s hand appears, grabbing Mijutso by the ear as she yanks him back into the locker room. Mijutso: IE-TIE-TIE-TIE-TIE!!!!* The camera fading on the smaller and smaller by the minute figures of Smarty and LOBO… *The Japanese equivilant of "ouch" [align=center]HARDCORE HANDICAP MATCH Hardcore Rules Match Red Cell (Toan & Matt Impact, Kiyoshi Nakahata, Momoko Wakari) vs. Tier[/align] Tier started out well, keeping the swelling masses of Red Cell at bay with the Legacy of Pain, but their sheer numbers soon overwhelmed the perhaps overzealous God of Violence. It soon turned into a four-on-one clusterfuck beatdown until Extreme Ninja #2 found his way to the ring and attacked Kiyoshi Nakahata. With the odds still only two on four, Red Cell continued their slaughter when a still-bloody-fisted Graver came out a-swinging his cinderblock for Toan's head! He was soon followed by Elrick, who was met with resounding cheer from the crowd as he bludgeoned Matt Impact with a fresh steel chair! The match disintegrated into a four-on-four brawl! With most everyone detained, J.J. ALMOST missed Momoko's stop sign smashing Tier in the back before a rollup and a three-count saw Red Cell as the victors in the match. Despite the ringing of the bell, the brawl between the eight violent wrestlers continued to the back. Winner: Red Cell (Momoko Wakari) by pinfall. The camera once again comes backstage, this time coming onto a locker room door. A generic start, wouldn't you think? But there's something significantly different about this door, as behind him are some very audible bangs. From the sound of it, someone (or something) is inside, smashing up the entire room. Things are being thrown, glass being broken, sheep being deflowered (for what ever reason there is for a sheep to be in a backstage locker room). The camera zooms out to see that our resident Indians are standing either side. Maj Tahal on camera left, and General Kumar Singh on camera right, both look at eachother, grimacing as they listen to the noises coming from inside the room. The General still has the corned beef over him. Suddenly, there is a loud thump heard, like someone running into a wall, followed by the sound of a body collapsing. The two wince as if feeling the pain themselves, followed by them listening intently, but there is no more sound. Maj: Do you think he knocked himself out? General: It's about time. He's been like that for ages. Maj: Ah well, just have to wait for the cops to arrive now, and we're all done. Both of the two sigh, waiting patiently for the cops, looking down at their shoes. Just then, there's a voice from just behind camera. Voice: Gentlemen. Both of them look up smiling. Both: Yes? Their smiles change when they see who the person is though. Confusion covers their face as none other than Herman Cardgage walks next to them, with that same disturbed grin that sent so many men to prison because of entering a nunnery like that, all those years ago. Herman: Hello there. Maj: Umm hi, Herman. Can we help you? Herman: Maybe. Then again, maybe it's you that needs my help... Maj: Highly doubtful. Herman: Conclusions are far too dangerous to jump to. General: Like an open crocodile's mouth? Herman: Exactly. Or a 50 year old bisexual virgin leper. General: Oooh good one. Herman: Yeah. Got to be careful when you jump to them. General: Definately. Maj: I'm sorry to interupt this entralling intellectual conversation but the General and I were here waiting for the police, so unless you have something that... Herman: Well, Maj, if you're so persistant into finding out my reasons here, then I shall tell. I've come here wondering if it's at all possible for me to become one of your protégés? Maj: I'm sorry, what? Herman: Well I saw you took on Toby Bostock and I wondered if you could take me as well. It worked for Jeff Noon's career with Lance Evers... Maj: Umm Herman, I'm sorry but... Herman: Look, I can learn my lines as well as he can! Maj: Lines? Herman: Sure, I saw you and him reading over the script for the promo before hand. Look, I've got a copy. Herman reaches into his bag and pulls out a few sheets of paper stapled together. On the front it says "Friends Made, Prices Paid" in bold. He holds it up triumphantly. Maj's and the General's eyes open in horror, both looking at eachother. They obviously both panic. Maj: Umm well done, Herman. Tell you what, I just need to talk to the General about this a second, do you mind? Herman shakes his head, and turns his back to the two, beginning to read the script silently. The two walk away from Herman, and do a two-man huddle to altercate. Maj: What are we going to do?! General: What can we do? If we don't take him on he'll tell everyone that we script some of our promos so that we're better than everyone else in all aspects. Maj: Unless...we run and get help. Herman looks over his shoulder and shout to Maj and the General. Herman: Man, you wrote Toby far too geeky here... Herman turns back and laughs to himself. The General grimaces. Maj: I knew we did... General: Maj, who can we get help from? Maj: Toby. Get him to convince Herman that that script was typed up after the promo, that way he has no blackmail. But we need a distraction... General: You don't mean... Maj: Yes General. It's time. General: But we haven't rehersed it enough. It might not be distracting enough. Maj: You wanted to test it, and this is the ultimate test. Are you in? General: I'm with you, Maj. Maj: Ready? 1...2...3! Maj and the General suddenly jump around, and start to shake their hands in the one, the only...JAZZ HAND POSITION! Herman looks around to see the two, standing there, huge cheesy grins, hands shaking jazzily. He turns his whole body, totally forgetting the script, staring unbreakably at the hands... Maj: (whispering) General. Go now... The General suddenly breaks the jazz hands, and runs, trying to go straight past Herman. But Herman isn't distracted enough, and suddenly places a hand with fingers facing fowards, straight into the General's throat as he runs past. General Kumar Singh collapses to the floor, screaming in pain, followed by choking and gurgling. He rolls around on the floor, holding his throat. Maj is frozen in jazz hands, but his smile is in a horrified stare at the injured General. Herman looks down with a half smile. Herman: Shame. Usually makes them vomit. Anyway, Maj, so what do you say. Maj gulps, and places his hands down, standing up straight once more. Maj: Well...umm... Maj looks around him, struggling to find something, when just then, the banging noise starts once again from the room. Maj and Herman both look to the door. A smile starts to appear on Maj's face, as if a plan's just come up in his head. He quickly walks over to Herman, trying hide the smile. Herman: What's in there? Maj: What's in where? I can't hear anything. Herman: I never said I heard someth... Maj: So then, Herman. Do me a favour. I just need to fetch our latest script, you just go on in there, and wait while I make sure they have it. I think it's perfect for you. Herman: Wow really? Maj: You bet, just stay in there. Herman: Ok. Herman walks over to the door. There is still very loud banging from the other side. Herman looks over to Maj once more, expecting something, but Maj just smiles at Herman, obviously hinding something behind it. Herman shrugs and walks in, placing the script back into his plastic bag on the way. He shuts the door behind him. Maj grabs the General by the arm, and picks him up. General: What's happening? Where's Her... Maj: Shh! Maj walks over to the door, and indicates for the General to do so also. The two place there ears against the door and listen. We can hear the muffled voice of Herman inside. Herman: Hey, who are you? What's that? Oooh, nice sheep...YEARGH!!!! There is just then a very loud bang, followed by a series of other painful sounding noises, joyfully accompanied by Herman's tortured screams. Herman: Ah! No! Not that! It's not supposed to bend that way! Maj and the General both show signs that they too feel Herman's pain, with every noise showing a different expression. Herman: Where did that come from?! Haha, I've already had something up that one! Wait, no! Not that way I haven't! OH DEAR GOD! Just then there is one of the highest pitched screams ever filmed on television, including the castrated 10year old boy choir of 1943. It then, as soon as it starts, stopped, and instead replaced by the sound of a body collapsing onto the floor. Maj: I wonder what that was... Suddenly, the door bursts open. Herman collapses through the door frame, landing in between the two Indians. His clothes are ripped, and he has his plastic bag over his head. He's covered in his own melted chocolate, with scraps of script stuck to them. Standing in the room, breathing heavily, is Crazy Sam, with a very disturbing grin. The room is a mess, broken furniture, papers on the floor, and a lot of white wool. Sam: Problem...solved... As Sam says that, the door somehow closes itself. Maj and the General look at each other, slightly worried, but also impressed. They look down at Herman. Maj: How...did he do that? General: Maj, I've just had an idea. Maj: If it involves buying anymore Justin Timberlake merchandise, I swear I will not give you sexy back, but break your back instead. General: No! I mean we might be able to keep Sam. Maj: Why? General: Think about it. You can't risk settling physical problems out of the ring. You need to be 100% 24/7, and it's not like I'm in any condition to take care of things out of the ring that don't involve a debate. Imagine the power you'd have with something like Sam at your bidding. Maj: Yeah... it just might work... Just then, someone else walks in on camera. It's a man in a cops uniform. He has a square like face, with a buzz cut. Cop: Excuse me gentlemen, are you the ones that called about a disturbance with a "crazy guy"? Maj: Uh yeah, about that... The cop looks down at Herman on the floor. Cop: This the fella? You did say you neutralised him. Maj: Huh? Herman? N... General: Yes, that's the one. Make sure he's kept in the cells. Thanks officer, we need to prepare ourselves now, here's my card. Call if you need witness statements. The General hands the officer a business card, and grabs Maj, walking him away. The officer looks down at Herman, as the camera goes with Maj and the General. Maj: What are you doing? General: Well we can't leave Herman there, and what were you going to tell the police? "Sorry, we're keeping the mental guy as a pet now"? Maj: Hmm, good point. General: Now come on. We've got to go sort some things out. Prepare Sam for his new home. Next week, it's his first time on ReVolt as the official Problem Solver of Maj Tahal... Maj and the General grin, as the two walk off camera, and it cuts back into the arena. |
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| Minister Wighty | Nov 2 2006, 05:14 AM Post #4 |
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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Even back and forth for the first half of the match with not many weapons being utilised. Vinj gains momentum and brings the fight outside the ring. Vinj and XK trade spots until the end up in the food court/cafeteria. Vinj is brought down after slight interference from Lucy and Vinj is put through a popcorn machine. Glass splits through his head and XK takes the opportunity to pop Vinj's vaguely conscious body underneath a soft-serve ice cream vendor. XK near-fills Vinj's lungs with the stuff, to the point Vinj has to swallow in order to breathe. XK takes the remainder of the match on his own, taunting Vinj more than fighting him as the effects of the glucose-intolerant Vinj taking effect as he wobbles to fight back. Towards what would be the end of the match, XK brings out the UIC in order to continue the humiliation of Vinj. Face bloodied, XK forces Vinj to look at what he most likely will never have. But as his eyes rest...Vinj transforms into THE HULK!!! BRAWWWHHH!H!! Vinj knocks the belt out of XK's hands and begins to mount his opponent with every part of his limbs. However, the effects are not as effective as Vinj would hope cos of XK's Muay Thai abilities, and Vinj is able to be faught off. Xk and Vinj collide with each other in the ring, neither one bothering to defend themselves as they go blow for blow, knee for knee, elbow for elbow. Vinj end ups getting the upperhand finds a spot in for 'Let is Shine'...........AND CONNECTS!!! LIKE NEVER BEFORE!!! XK's right eye near falls out his head as the spikes from Vinj's wristband pierce through the side of his optical bones...whatever they are. Vinj proceeds to nail the left knee! THEN THE RIGHT!!! BOOOM!!! Fireworks go off, virgins orgasm and the like as Vinj falls for the pin...falls?...FALLS? We'll come back to that after the ref counts the pin!!! ONE!! TWO!!! THREE!!! DING-DING-DING! MA: Your winner in a time of eighteen minutes and thirty seconds....VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINJ!!!!! The crowd goes nuts as Tony Clarke raises Vinj's dead limb in victory...wait, something's wrong. Clark turns Vinj over to find him frothing at the mouth, his body convulsing on top of XK'S!!! No, he's not trying to hump him. JH: WHAT IS GOING ON?!! CL: Gayfest is what's going on. JH: SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS GOING ON?!! WHERE ARE THE PARAMEDICS??!!! CM: I believe the poor chap isn't covered by FIW's health insurance. Remember he couldn't get stitches for the blow Ghost gave him? CL: Hell no. I woulda remembered that shit. Not that I...like watching men...getting...SHUTUP! The camera disregard's the fact Vinj could be dying and slides in for a close-up. Vinj's body is still convulsing, his mouth now filled with a light bubbly foam. JH: FINALLY! Paramedics burst into the arena, obviously given the word to do so, and quickly attend to Vinj's grosse dying-dealie. By this time XK has started to murmur, prompted by Lucy who seems to be trying to pull him out of the ring by the tongue of his boots. After carefully putting Vinj onto a stretcher the para's shuffle him out of the ring and carry him backstage, passing XK as they go. JH: This is some kind of sheer tragedy, folks... CM: Vinj as the UIC? You know it... CL: Who cares? He's dead like his ocker friend Cold Soldier. Hey, who knows? Maybe more Aussies will die next week! Tune in, kids. You wouldn't DARE fucking miss it! [align=center] ![]() Copyright 2006, FIW and Sporkco. Studios[/align] |
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2:16 PM Jul 11
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2:16 PM Jul 11