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| ReVolt; 02-28-07 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 1 2007, 01:28 PM (310 Views) | |
| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:28 PM Post #1 |
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[align=center]![]() GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT CONFIDENCE The International champion springs from the corner and scoops down to the mat grabbing up his trusty fork he lost possession of earlier in the match. He quickly drives upward with the handle of the fork and jabs it into the throat of his masked opponent. XK gasps and coughs from the blow to the throat and staggers into a nearby corner where Toan begins to dig the fork into his mask as Kitten swats at his opponents hands in an attempt to remain masked. The Deathmatch Bastard digs in more violently and smiles as he begins to pull up on the mask and Mark Jackson pleads with him to stop! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO SPIT OUT ALL REASON YEAH Prime dashes in and kicks Matt in the gut before setting up for the Authority Bomb with hands around the King's throat ready to lift but he is stopped by Amy Spencer; who is accusing Prime of knocking her over so he could blind Impact. Impact plays along with the claims while he cleans out his eyes. Prime pleads his case quickly but no quickly enough as Impact can see again. Prime gets around Amy only to get a thumb to the eye for the second time, Amy didn't turn around quick enough to see it. Impact knees Prime in the gut twice before walking him to the middle of the ring and striking him with a third knee to the gut. Impact hoists Prime onto his shoulders. Impact throws Prime around and plants him with the Head on Collision! I'm tired of holdin' up the weight, the weight of the motherfuckin' world. All I want is to just get right Kailey stumbles backwards into the ropes, holding to them as she eyes Kennedy. She takes in a deep breath and waits as she notices Kennedy stirring on the canvas. Kailey moves to the turnbuckle, pulling herself to the second rope. Kennedy climbs to her feet, dazed and confused. She moves around the canvas, turning JUST AS KAILEY COMES OFF THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE WITH A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!!! NO!!! Kennedy holds her hands up and breaks the axe handle! She buries her boot into Kailey’s midsection AND PLANTS HER WITH AN IMPLANT DDT!!! HERE RIGHT NOW !!! Prime stands up and stands back in a corner. He is considering his strategy as Hutch shows fight to start getting back up. Hutch turns around into a hard right hand from Prime to knock him back down. Hutch gets right back up and gets hammered one more time. Hutch pulls himself up off the canvas and Prime runs through him with a shoulder block, knocking Hutch through the ropes to the outside. Prime pulls Hutch up, slams a knee deep into his gut before looking out at the rabid crowd. Prime claps his arms around Hutch and flips him over...OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX AND HUTCH IS SENT CRASHING THROUGH THE SLAM! ANNOUNCE TABLE! We struggle and fight just to get in the grave That's overflowing. Clock's ticking on my 15 minutes of fame Come on now He rolls himself to the ropes and uses them to haul his ass up, and turns back to his writhing opponent. Quickly he darts to his corner and snatches up his white board, scrawling something on it before showing it to the crowd. It reads “BUST A MOVE!”, and he proceeds to get down with his bad self as he break dances over to the challenger. Once he’s jiggied his way over to the Loon, he pops up and drops a Senton Leg Drop across his head and covers for the pin! 1 2 3... Nightmare is indeed bleeding profusely, cut open from the staple, Ahriman holds the staple gun high before trying to shoot another staple into Night’s head, he blocks Ahriman’s hand though and after a brief struggle Nightmare picks up Ahriman bearhug style, with a tremendous roar he goes sprinting towards the other entryway railing, driving Ahriman back first into it! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT CONFIDENCE The Fighting Spirit Champion wiggles about as he tries to get out from under Onikage, ending up on his back, and that’s when the Straight Edge Savior applies pressure to his mounted position, keeping the smaller man just as he is as he starts throwing elbow strikes at him, Graver tries to lift up his arms to block them but they are just too strong. At first they start out relatively slow but with each blow the former Ordinary member picks up steam with his shots, steadily making them quicker and quicker as he hammers away on the reigning champ with quite the ruthless aggression, a look in his eyes showing that Onikage seems to have snapped on Graver. Clarke circles around the two of them as Onikage continues to pound the Reject of FIW into grounded meat, Tony’s expression becoming more and more grim as Graver’s body becomes more and more lifeless than it was the previous second, suddenly a few gasps start ringing out through out the arena. A dark crimson liquid starts covering Onikage’s elbow pad and the ends of his black tape, staining them with blood, though it isn’t the only thing that gets coated, soon blood is disturbingly squirting upward from Graver’s face, splashing against Onikage’s mask and upper body, slowly running down it, even a bit splashes onto Tony Clarke! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO SPIT OUT ALL REASON YEAH Graver suddenly starts swinging his arms around and hopping to strike different poses with his legs as if mocking the martial arts background of two of his challengers. A grin spreads across his face as suddenly he turns to Kiyoshi, spraying a mouthful of beer in mist like fashion, blinding the second biggest man in the match! I'm flushing the trust of everyone, stabbing in the back and thinkin' they can break me. Set my sight can't die until I'm done Xtreme Kitten tells Johnson to begin to count Kiyoshi out, but Johnson refuses and he points over to Lance who is charging at Xtreme Kitten, but Xtreme Kitten counters Lance’s clothesline attempt with a flapjack. Lance crashes to the canvas, but he is quickly backed up on his feet and he is whipped to the turnbuckle by Xtreme Kitten. Xtreme Kitten charges at Lance for a turnbuckle clothesline, but Lance takes Xtreme Kitten down to the second turnbuckle face first with a drop toe hold. Xtreme Kitten grabs his face as he lies on his back against the turnbuckle. Lance walks over to Xtreme Kitten and grabs him by the arm and Lance wraps his arm around Xtreme Kitten’s neck and he plants him with a DDT. Xtreme Kitten crashes face first into the mat after the botched move! MIND ENDURANCE!!! Ragin’ grabs Remy by the hair and moves into a standing headscissor. He grabs Remy around the waist and hoists the Ultimate Endurance Champion onto his shoulders. Ragin’ pushes the Cajun up by the britches, but Remy rolls forward and slides down Ragin’s back!! He grabs Ragin’ by the leg, pulling Ragin’ off his feet. Remy quickly tangles Ragin’s legs up and weaves his own into them then falls backward to the mat! Ragin’ screams out in pain, reaching back to try and break the hold, but unable to bend his body enough. He claws at the mat, trying to reach the ropes but they’re too far out of his reach! Never wanted any more than what I deserve, better bring it I'm takin' it all. Fuck an inch 'cause I'm bringin' a mile, It's on now Brighty manages to control his movement drops straight south onto Madrox's chest! MADROX MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! BRIGHTY'S BACKSIDE SLAMS INTO THE CANVAS! Madrox is quickly up to his feet and runs to the ropes as Brighty is getting up. Madrox slides through Brighty's legs and then leaps up on top of Brighty as he turns around...HURRICANRANA! To his credit Brighty is quickly up to his feet but is groggy and vulnerable to Madrox taking him into a corner. Madrox tees off on the former Slam! Superstar of the Year with four hard right hands that go unanswered. Madrox looks for an irish whip across the ring but Brighty holds on to reverse! Madrox is shot into the turnbuckle but he controls himself, he leaps up onto the second rope and SPRINGBOARDS OVER HIS SHOULDER INTO A CROSS BODY BLOCK! 1 2 3... Whimpering Graver tries his best puppy dog eyes face and tries his best to weasel his way out from Kiyoshi’s grasp, though it is to no avail as Kiyoshi slowly shakes his head no with a grim expression on his face, he surprisingly whips Graver away from him, only to hold on and pull him right back into the welcoming from a vicious lariat! Amazingly the lariat doesn’t take Graver off of his feet, rather he gasps and groans as he tries to talk though it is as if from the sheer impact of the move his wind pipe has been caved in, slowly he staggers backwards as Nakahata releases the hold on his wrist, watching him calmly. Though he doesn’t stand there all day as like a lion stalking it’s prey he marches forward after the champion, looking like he might be in the mood to end this match, but suddenly a hand rests on his shoulder and whips him around, before Nightmare can even say what it seems like he was trying to say, Kiyoshi connects with a palm strike. The palm strike was so powerful it sends Nightmare flying right over the top rope and hitting the apron with a thud GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT CONFIDENCE Remy looks shocked down at his victim, expecting a much more beardy, Russiany-type guy under his boot. But he shrugs, not looking a gift horse in the mouth, until he turns around and spies a bear. Ragin’ gets another wicked sneer on his mug before BLASTING REMY IN THE GRILL WITH A HAYMAKER!! Remy’s eyelids flutter, but Ragin’ isn’t done, FORCING his head between his legs, then WRENCHING Remy upward onto his shoulders! Ragin’ tosses Remy’s legs outward, falling into a sit-out position, CRUSHING HIS FACE INTO THE MAT!!! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED YEAH, YEAH GO SPIT OUT ALL REASON YEAH Both competitors get back to their feet and Tomoko is the first to move in hooking up Toan and quickly lifts him off his feet with the Tomoko Driver. She drops to a seated position as she completes the finisher and then quickly draws her body over his legs applying as much weight as she can to his shoulders. That is until out of no where she is victim of a devastating Cat Kick to the face and falls backwards on the mat. XK drops his body over Tomoko and hooks a leg. Mark Jackson is already in position from her pin attempt and begins to count! This fire, is growing, it's burning, deep inside of me. Focused, driven, certain, the way it's got to be FIRE, GROWING, BURNING, DEEP INSIDE OF ME!!! FOCUSED, DRIVEN, CERTAIN, THE WAY IT'S GOT TO BE!!! Toan gets up to his feet and turns around looking at Kailey, he kicks her in the midsection and he hoist her up into the air with a one arm falcon arrow, but as he is goes to drop her down she is able to counter the move and she lands on her feet. Toan is pissed and he grabs the stop sign and slams it over her head and he whips her into the ropes and as she rebounds back Toan goes for another hiptoss, but Kailey counters the move twirling into a headscissor takedown, but she twirls a couple more times before planting Toan down with a DDT onto the chair in the middle of the ring. CROOKED (No Trust) LIAR (Conman) DRUNK WITH (Power) MENTOR (Taught me everything that I know) SO WRONG, WRONG WRONG WRONG Ninja stirs very little on the canvas as the figure steps over him, dropping the chair to their side. A pair of pale hands reaches up and takes a hold of the hood, whipping it back to reveal. Most of the fans jeer her actions, taking out one of the most popular champions on the roster, while a small contingent of NGIW faithful burst into a chorus of cheers for their favourite hardcore Hellcat! A sick smirk twists her ruby red lips as she takes the zip to her top and slowly peels it open to reveal a shiny, silver belt strapped around her waist. The cameras try to zoom in as she reaches round to her back and unhooks the belt, all the while her eyes fixed on the Cruiserweight champion, her studded tongue moistening her ruby reds. As Ninja tries to push himself off the mat Ghost drops down beside him and grabs the back of his mask, RAMMING his face back down into the canvas. She pulls his head back up and shoves the belt under him, making sure he gets a good, hard look at it. 1 2 3!!! GO SO FUCKING DETERMINED The heavy guitars of Mushroomhead's new jam "Save Us" rock over the fans in attendance as bright white light blasts through the entryway, revealing a silhouette. That black figure moves against the light, trekking toward the ring. The guitars die and the lights turn a moody shade of pale blue. Tier walks through the reaching arms of the fans, face blank and emotionless. SO FUCKING DETERMINED GO!!![/align] |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:31 PM Post #2 |
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JH: Ah the opener is a debut for us in FIW, Ash Koopa making his debut in fact. CM: Ash Koopa? Sounds like another wanna-be. CL: Sounds like a deranged Pizza topping if you ask me, mind you, with the likes we have joining lately, nothing shocks me. JH: Well he’s one of the wrestlers, that Maxx Anderson trained, I know one already, James Barrett. CL: Oh damn, that’s right, now I… nope, I don’t care. The PA system kicks into life as the opening chords of "Start Me Up" by The Rolling Stones echoes across the arena. Rising to their feet, the fans turn their attention toward the stage as the house lights turn to a bright shade of red. After a few seconds, 'The KoopaManiac' Ash Koopa steps through the gateway onto the stage playing in tune with the music on his air guitar. Reaching the edge of the stage, Ash pauses for a second and looks around the arena, then quickly makes his way down the steps whilst pointing out at the fans. MA: The opener of the evening and a one fall to the finish contest! First hailing from Reading, England, weighing in at two hundred and sixty three pounds and standing at six feet five inches… ASSSSSHHHHHHHH KKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Singing along with the lyrics of his entrance theme, Ash strolls along the aisle and slaps hands with the fans on either side as he makes his way toward the ringside area. As he reaches the ring, Ash veers left and begins scanning the crowd, before removing his headband and placing it on the head of a child in the front row. Quickly bounding up the steps, Ash makes his way along the apron and ducks down to enter the ring between the top and middle ropes. Facing the main camera, Ash steps up to the ropes and begins posing for the fans, then fires off a thumbs up, before turning and stretching against the ropes as he waits for the match to begin. CM: Well… he looks deranged. JH: He’s just happy, is that so bad? CL: Yes, you know it is too, nobody‘s happy when they have to see fans. As Ash warms up in the ring, the lights cut out in the arena, then back on as out of nowhere on the other side of the ring, to both Ash and J.J.’s surprise is Daisuke with Mr. Blond, Mr. Blond slides out of the ring as Michael Anderson doesn’t even bother to announce Daisuke, J.J. checks Ash for any illegal objects, then he does Daisuke, finding nothing he calls for the bell. both men begin to circle the ring, Ash looking thoroughly excited as Daisuke watches him intently before Ash looks for a collar and elbow tie-up Daisuke backs out of it, causing a boo to come from the crowd. JH: Daisuke can’t be scared of Ash surely? CM: Look at him, I would be, he looks like he’s high. JH: No he doesn’t you lot just make too much of something. CL: Not really, you just are a idiot and we make sure everyone knows it, not too hard though. …Ash doesn’t let it get to him though as he then moves towards Daisuke, but Daisuke quickly snaps a kick into Ash’s gut making Ash reel back, Daisuke then goes for another kick, but Ash catches the foot, smiling towards Daisuke, Daisuke trying to get out of it then goes for a kick again, but Ash ducks still holding the foot, the fans find it funny as Daisuke looks highly irritated by it, but not for long as Ash pulls the foot causing Daisuke to come into his arms, or more importantly a solid forearm shot that rattle Daisuke as he reels backwards, Ash moves in for another shot but Daisuke rolls through and avoids, seemingly trying to gain the upper hand. CL: Daisuke is getting owned by a newbie currently, ah how if that was someone from NGIW Ash’s be dead and bloodied. JH: Where’d that come from? CL: Boredom, I need to actually see a match that grabs my attention, not my suicidal status. CM: NGIW? Please if they we’re in the match, there’d be did lido’s and weird crap. CL: Ah the memories… Daisuke tries to gain some composure but Ash come at him quickly, Daisuke evades one kick, but is ailed by another doubling him over, Ash then lifts him up and with a big slam, scoop slams him into the canvas with authority, Ash then callas to the crowd before moving to the ropes, coming back for a leg drop, but Daisuke quickly rolls out the ring, trying to gain some rest time as Ash looks like his momentum gets killed. JH: Hogan esque leg drop there. CM: …But it missed, I think I hate Ash more right now. CL: Hogan leg drop? Why not rip someone actually talented, like me? Daisuke talks to Mr. Blond, seemingly discussing something as Ash having enough of waiting climbs out of the ring after Daisuke, but Daisuke quickly gets back in, Ash turns and climbs back in running into a mad attack of stomps, Daisuke stomps the hell out of him. CM: That’s why I criticize them, there idiots. Daisuke then keeps stomping down on him harder, before letting him stand up as Daisuke runs to the ropes and as he comes back drives his stronger knee into Ash’s chest taking him down to the canvas quickly. Daisuke then signals to Mr. Blond to do something, Mr. Blond does so as he moves towards the ring bell table and picks out a chair, doing so he slides it in the ring, then calls J.J. and stands on the ring apron, distracting J.J. before Daisuke moves over towards the chair. JH: Hey! Wait a minute! CM: This one’s going to be a quick one. CL: Finally, something good in the match, I was about to actually start listening to Chip talk. …Daisuke picks up the chair and seems to await as Ash stands up, he turns around and gets NAILED in the skull with the chair, but all that happens is Ash drops to a knee, he looks like… yes! He seems to be getting himself “Ashed Up” like Hogan would, Daisuke seeing one shot didn’t take him down, he Smashes1 the chair down on his head again, but to no effect, seemingly getting really, really irritated goes for another, but Ash stands up, pointing towards him and starts shaking his finger in a rejecting manner, Daisuke then goes for another chair shot, but Ash boots him in the gut, causing him to drop the chair, Mr. Blond watches on looking shocked. CM: What the hell is he doing? JH: I believe, Hulkin Up’ CL: Oh please not this, I’ve had to endure some shit on this show, but not a Hogan rip off. As Ash looks towards Daisuke, he then begins attacking Daisuke with some forearm shots, reeling him back into the ropes, with that he Irish whips Daisuke, coming right back in a Axe Bomber from Ash, Daisuke then stirs on the canvas as Ash seems to be gaining the fans support, as Daisuke stands, Ash grabs him in a Full Nelson before lifting and sitting out, driving Daisuke face first into the canvas, he then turns him over and makes the cover… JH: That’s the AK-77. CM: He isn’t going to win is he? CL: Ah well, next match… [align=center]ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING![/align] …J.J. calls for the bell as Ash stands up, smiling and looking extremely proud of himself as J.J. raises his arm into the air. MA: Your winner! ASSSSSHHHHHHHH KKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! …Ash makes his leave from the ring, high-fiving some fans on his way backstage, Mr. Blond enters the ring watching over Daisuke as the camera cuts to the backstage area. The scene begins to light up to give us an obnoxiously blaring visual scene. Bright spotlights all center around a single Hollywood-esque chair. Beyond the chair is a basic scenic backdrop, this one just so happens to depict a sunny day at the beach. The whole set-up gives off a feel of low-budget studio interview in nauseating waves. Into the scene and the luster of the lights walks in one Drake Love. Drake: Come one, come all, to the show that never ends. Now as opposed to my normal doom and gloom that I usually bring to you on a weekly dose of intense articulate vocabulary waves. However here from the pulsing heart of the life center of our fabulous wrestling mecca, I felt a bit more inclined to give you all a better look on what keeps the fans coming watching week in and week out. That of course would be the world’s hero known as Drake Love. And if you missed the memo, that would be me. Feel free to applaud at anytime now. A stagehand come into the scene, bent down like a hunchbacked pig in order to avoid being noticed. However as there is nothing else in the shot, your eyes are instantly drawn to the only movement on the screen. The young man hands Drake a perfectly clear glass, inside a hill of ice is piled up to the top and laid over the frozen pieces of water is a liquid that appears to be lemonade. As the odd stagehand scurries off, still bent over for no possible reason at all, Drake takes a small sip from the glass allowing the fluid to quench the back of his throat. Drake: One must be inquiring right about now, “What could Drake Love be so pleased about? Three Straight Losses after so much bluster and bravado.” Well that is a good question to form, although in truth I doubt many of you are able to procure even that basic thought. The answer is quite simple actually. I am here to stay and I have finally began to take my time here seriously. I won’t lie. I figured that I would waltz into the company, slap a few nobodies around and enforce my will as I have done so many times before. It would appear thought that perhaps FIW is not like where I have rested my weary feet before. It seems I have gone from being the big bad to being just another name on the card. Well the winds of change have begun to shift their course, and a new dawn has risen for me. Or some sort of mythical nonsense that everyone feels necessary to compare our work in a wrestling ring with. Now tonight’s show has already been a thriller to say the least. But the real fun will be coming up very soon. Pausing to take a much needed breath at the end of his delirious rant, Drake sucks in some oxygen with rage still lighting up his eyes. Drake throws his head back and slugs down the last of his lemonade and flings the innocent glass to its gloomy demise as it shatters on the life stealing face of the wall. Drake: Three straight losses and a partridge in a pear tree have been my delight as of late. Yet it is about time I make an impact here in FIW and the time has drawn in such a fashion that I am left with no other recourse but to make one written in blood and misery. That unfortunate disfavor will sadly fall to one poor victim that has the poor luck of being stationed across the ring with myself. Shaun Wilson is a man who also knows what the taste of desperation feels like upon a man’s tongue. The acid burning flavoring of failure after a feeble attempt to secure victory. While the man’s desire to compete may still burn brightly in his ravaged soul, it simply will not be enough to overcome his pre-ordained fate that awaits him in a few short moments. The ring has already been in the sweat of the warriors prior, the bright bulbs are producing tremendous amounts of artifical light and the crowd is more than prepared to witness a barbaric event. We as humanity will never tire of the bloodlust that eats at is internally, and tonight Mr. Wilson, these fans will get to have it sated by the appearance of your cells scurrying around in a frenzy as it mixes with the oxygen in the arena. I will see you on the battlefield shortly my victim of the night. I would suggest your pray to whatever deity you choose to worship and see if perhaps they will provide you with any help with tonight’s affairs. Until then I wish you and these pathetic fools that are too miserable to actually compete a good night. Lifting his arm in a dramatic fashion, Drake holds into the air for a moment. With a final smirk for the camera, Drake suddenly snaps his fingers. A look of outrage takes over Drake’s face as nothing happens. With a loud roar that sounds like some sort of wild mating call perhaps, Drake leaps to his feet in a huff. It is at the moment the beaming spotlights click off as well as the lesser, non-blinding lights. Left in darkness Drake’s form can be seen attempting to find the crew member that messed up his timing for the scene. After some brief pleas for mercy and perhaps a puppy in the distance, we cut back to the announce table. |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:32 PM Post #3 |
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CM: After that awful opener, now we actually have some talent in the ring in Drake Love. JH: He’s got to get past Shaun first though. CL: That really hasn’t been a hard task recently now has it? JH: He’s been close to winning. CL: You’ve been closer to having sex then he has to winning and that’s saying something. The Drake Love entrance video begins to roll on the Global-Tron as AFI's Prelude 12-21 begins to blare over the PA system. [align=center][dohtml]<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hr5pPcgW5uc"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hr5pPcgW5uc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="444" height="350"></embed></object>[/dohtml][/align] [align=center]This is what I brought you, this you can keep. This is what I brought, you may forget me. I promise to depart just promise one thing. Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep. [/align] Drake steps out onto the entranceway wearing his custom cloak. It is jet black and the tail drapes all the way to the top of his boots. It has a simple hood which is pulled up as Drake steps out onto the entraceway. Drake hangs his head down low and stands still on the stage. [align=center]This is what I brought you, this you can keep. This is what I brought, you may forget me. I promised you my heart just promise to sing. Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.[/align] Drake shoots out his left arm sending a spray of pyros rippling down his left side. Drake keeps the left arm extended before shooting out his right arm which also ignites a stream of pyros exploding in a line. Drake then raises both arms high into the air and pyros erupt from both sides, this time all at once instead of the streams as before. MA: The following match is scheduled for one fall! first hailing from Denver, Colorado and weighing in at two hundred and ninety seven pounds, standing at sex foot four inches… DRAAAAKKKKEEEEE LLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE!!!!! [align=center](Oh-uh, Oh-uh, Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep. (Oh-uh, Oh-uh)[/align] Drake flips off the hood and proceeds down the rampway. Drake ignores the fans on his way down but instead stays focused on the ring and his task ahead. [align=center]This is what I thought, I thought you’d need me. This is what I thought, so think me naive I'd promised you a heart, you'd promise to keep. Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.[/align] Drake enters the ring and stands in the center. Drake's face becomes a mask of cold fury as he removes the cloak and prepares to go to war. [align=center](Oh-uh, Oh-uh, ) Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep. (Oh-uh, Oh-uh, Kiss my eyes and lay me to...sleep. (Oh-uh, Oh-uh)[/align] CM: Look at him, he looks ready to destroy Shaun. JH: Shaun isn’t going to be a walk over. CL: True, he’s going to be a bitch and get beat, ah like always. Trumpets and drums blasts as Standing Ovation plays on the PA system. The lights fade into a light blue color as a white spotlight shines on the entranceway. Shaun walks out and the spotlight disappears as he walks to the three stairs. MA: And his opponent! Hailing from Houston, Texas, weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds and standing at five feet eleven inches… SSSSHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAUNNNNNNN WWWWWIIIIIIILLLLLLSSSSSSSSOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!! He stops and turns his back facing the entranceway as white pyro rains from the ReVoltrons. He then runs and slides into the ring, running and climbing onto the turnbuckles. He then backward flips off the ropes into the ring as he stretches and gets ready for his match. JH: Shaun looks ready to go for this match, can he finally get a win, I think he can. CM: That’s why you’re a idiot. As Drake and Shaun stand in there respective corner, Richard Kelly calls for the bell and as he does the match gets underway, Drake and Shaun begin to circle the ring, both then go for a collar and elbow tie-up as they do Drake quickly turns it into a headlock, showing his strength and height advantage as he quickly swings it over with a headlock takeover and wrenches it in, leaning his weight onto Shaun’s body making it hard to even stand up. CM: Takeover and he’s down and that’s going to be where he’ll stay for a long time. JH: Come on now. CL: It’s Chip’s dream, not his fault. Drake still wrenching away at Shaun’s head bring him to his feet before Irish whipping him to the ropes, as he does he connects with a belly-to-belly suplex but Shaun lands on his feet incredibly, Drake stands looking cockily impressed, but turns into a array of forearm strikes, before Shaun then boots Drake hard in the gut and leaps up looking for a hurricanrana, not connecting though because Drake lets him lay over him before dropping down and connecting with a vicious looking Boston Crab, but Shaun not ready to lose just yet quickly grabs the ropes before Drake has time to wrench it in properly. JH: Shaun got to the ropes quickly there. CL: It’s ok, he’ll die next time. Drake looks down at the fallen Shaun, smirking as so far he’s owned Shaun’s ass, before he lifts Shaun to his feet, Drake then lifts him up for a scoop slam, but Shaun out of nowhere reverses it into a momentum charging DDT, the impact sending Drake head first onto the canvas. Shaun seeing the advantage and momentum is his then runs to the ropes, spring boarding off into a knee drop, nailing Drake right over the head, making Drake roll onto his back clutching his skull. CM: Shaun thinks he’s gaining momentum… but really he’s going to get pinned in maybe two-three minutes? JH: No he won’t, stop being discriminating. CL: That was intelligent for you, you feeling proud now? Shaun looks to the ropes, but doesn’t do anything as he moves towards the fallen Drake, he then picks him up to his feet before running to the ropes, coming back, but getting nailed in the gut by Drake, Drake then lifts him up for a suplex, but Shaun reverses again, swinging over into a nice looking backbreaker, Drake clutches his back as Shaun seems fully in advantage. JH: Shaun could do it! CL: Shit smells good? No then he ain’t winning. Shaun looks towards Drake, seeing his opportunity to win finally, so he grabs to the top rope and looks towards Drake as he begins to climb to the top rope, once he got there he looks towards Drake who finally stands. Shaun then leaps off the top rope, but as he comes towards Drake he inverts it into a DDT, driving him head first into the canvas and quickly turns it into a front headlock choke, body scissoring Shaun too as he wrenches away with all he’s got, Richard Kelly asks Shaun does he tap and just as he does, he taps out, but Drake‘s hiding the fact he has his foot on the ropes!! [align=center]DING! DING! DING![/align] CM: Said he’d win didn’t I. JH: But, his foot was on the ropes, that’s not fair surely. CL: Drake didn’t intentionally hide it… I think, who cares. …Drake stands up looking down at Shaun who rubs his throat, Richard raises Drake’s arm in the air to elaborate the victory… MA: Your winner! DDRAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEEE LLOOOOOOVEEE!!!! …As Drake leaves the ring in celebration, Shaun stands up looking highly pissed off, he talks to Richard and begins arguing with him, saying his foot was on the ropes, Richard argues back but not for long as Shaun drives a big right hand, knocking Richard Kelly flat to the canvas. JH: Wait, Shaun… CL: Ha! I like the kid now, for a brief second. Shaun then exit’s the ring looking highly irritated, making his leave towards backstage as the camera cuts to the commentary desk. |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:33 PM Post #4 |
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MA: The following Triple Threat Contest is Scheduled for One Fall to a Fifteen Minute Time-Limit!!! [align=center] [/align]The arena lights begin to faint as smoke fills the entryway the first few rifts of “Attack” engages in recreation on the PA system as a silhouette can be seen behind the thick smoked stage area and red strobe lights begin to flicker on and off. [align=center]I WON'T SUFFER, BE BROKEN GET TIRED, OR WASTED SURRENDER TO NOTHING I'LL GIVE UP WHAT I STARTED AND STOPPED IT FROM END TO BEGINNING A NEW DAY IS COMING AND I AM FINALLY FREE[/align] MA: Introducing first, from Fairfield, Connecticut; weighing tonight at Two Hundred and Forty pounds… Sean… MAAAAAAAADRRRROOOOOOOXXXXXX The roof of the arena rattles as the bass kicks in and Sean Madrox emerges from the smoke and a strobe light radiates his complex body to the crowd’s jeers as he stands on the stage glancing from left to right. He begins to walk down the steel steps admiring his own physique and raises his hand into the air forming the infamous ‘X’ as the jeers ring out loudly and he can’t help but display a devilish smirk across his face as he flips off the crowd. [align=center]RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY I’LL ATTACK RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY GO CHANGE YOURSELF RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY NOW I’LL ATTACK I’LL ATTACK, I’LL AA WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA[/align] Sean reaches the apron and he jumps up on it looking at both sides, then he flips over the top rope into the ring. He climbs the turnbuckles and he once again taunts his infamous ‘X’ as the crowd continues with jeers. He then removes his sleeveless hoodie and waits for his opponent. [align=center]Yeah, I remember her saying "I'm already dead" I'm already dead I'm already dead I'm already dead I'm already dead I'm already dead I'm already dead Well today I want you to get up and hold your hands in some stupid symbols You're gonna get up and scream You're gonna get up and... The rockin' opening guitars to the White Zombie classic "Real Solution #9" overtake our crowd as the lights plunge into blackness. Smoke floods the entryway as a shadowy figure steps onstage. [align=center]Who will survive and what will be left of them? Apocalyptic dreams see the ordinary madness Who will survive and what will be left of them? I never lock the dogs when the wolf is in the darkness Come on - come on the mutherfucker's on fire He cut through the bone, he cut through the wire Come on - come on the mutherfucker's on fire He cut through the bone, he cut through the wire[/align] The guitars roar back in and the lights rise to showcase the Reject of FIW, Graver! He walks forward, observing the gathered fans before spitting disdainfully on the stage, causing a wall of flame to erupt behind him. MA: Making his way to the ring, from Detroit, Michigan... he weighs in tonight at ONE-hundred NINETY pounds... the REJECT of EFF-EYE-DOUBLEYOUUUU... ... GRRRRRRRAAAAAAYYYYVEEEERRRRRRR!!! The fans voraciously boo Graver's placid walk to the ring as he glares at them, sneering at one or two before finally entering the ring. [align=center]I keep a close watch On this Heart of mine I walk a line I walk a line[/align] Graver paces around the ring, firing off a Cactus Jack-style "bang bang" hand motion before mounting the turnbuckle to stare disdainfully at the crowd. He dismounts and awaits the violence's beginning. As "Lose Control" by Evanesence turns on our normal closed gates at the entrance of our stage is open. Long black mesh looking material is draped around the gates. From the back exits our very own Zesboca Devani with a loose black scarf that almost matches the material on the gates. She twirls the material around her body doing a simple start of a belly dance for the crowd. She slides across the stage grabbing a hold of the material on the gates. As she dances and slides across the floor she pulls the material with her. The last bit of the material is yanked down and left on the floor a long with her scarf. She stands at the end of the stage above the steps staring at the crowd. [align=center]"Just once in my life, I think it'd be nice, Just to lose control, just once, With all the pretty flowers in the dust."[/align] Zesboca shakes her lower half with the rhythm of the song. Not taking the steps she jumps straight down from the stage. She spins dipping her body a little with her. Zesboca smirks and makes her way to the squared circle. She touches a few hands along the way mainly to the men that are rooting for her. Again she doesn't take the steps and slip in-between the last rope and the ring. Rolling up she greets the crowd by hanging on to the ropes and not the turnbuckles. [align=center]Ding, Ding![/align] CL: And through the nexus of time and space, here we go! It’s Zessy who takes the first move in the match, hurling herself at Sean Madrox with a veritable barrage of forearms to Mr. Phenomenal’s jaw. The former Heavyweight Champion clubbers her right back down, making his size advantage tell if nothing else. Zessy grasps him by the side of the shorts, trying to pull herself up, being laughed off, before… CL: Fully Fucking Low! If you’re going to smack a guy down there, then at least smack him hard! JH: I know how much you like Graver, Conse, but there’s still no justification for the first thing he does in a match to punch another man between the legs. How would he like it if he took a low blow like that? CM: Better yet, how would you like it? CL: Eh, you’re all a bunch of pansies,. Carpe Diem! Hitchen deplores the use of the SAS’ motto, but we’d better carry on with the match, before this breaks down into commentary banter all the way through. Zessy, who didn’t quite manage to get back to her feet as all of this was happening, and gets Graver’s boot between her eyes. Instead of capitalising on all of this though, Graver stops for a few seconds to scram about how fucking dead she is, and stopping to dig out some kind of foreign object like a knife, or a juicer, or… CM: Oh wow, the epitome of Hradcore: the Hot Sauce Gun! Fully Fucking Spicy!!! CL: … Yeah… Now even I think there’s something a little off with that. As he brandishes this possibly unique weapon in all of Pro Wrestling, the ref isn’t quite happy. A little kafuffle ensues, and it ends with Sean Madrox actually doing something: Rolling up Graver! [align=center]One! Kick Out!![/align] Graver kicks out, and immediately, Zessy rolls over a slightly flustered Sean Madrox with La Magistral! [align=center]One! Graver Kicks Her In The Face!!![/align] And with the pin broken in some emphatic style, Graver goes to work telling Zessy exactly what he thinks of her while jabbing the point of his toe into her ribs, as Madrox looks on, content to let Graver do all the hard work, which, as much as he’d love to, Graver is of the opinion that Madrox should be joining in. CM: It hurts me to see two skilled competitors attacking one woman like that. JH: Really? CM: Hah, had you going there. It’s beautiful to see Madrox actually do something, like a… Running Flip Thing on Zebocsa or whatever she’s called. Madrox goes to follow up his running front flip senton splash, with a standing rolling moonsault. Thankfully for Jon Hitchen’s blood pressure, she moves! JH: Have that, you mysogenist- CL: Hey, no need for such language! For a start, Martin can’t understand it. CM: Miso-what now? Zesboca [I know her name, even if Chip doesn’t always,] starts taking her revenger, soccer kicking Madrox in the back, once! Ole! And twice! Ole! And few more times for good measure! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! The crowd stop the chanting when Graver has a go, kicking Madrox’s chest a few times. Graver just gets booed. In fact, the only thing that can start the chant up again is Zessy bringing the Middle Kicks to Graver. One & Two come quick, the Third has a gathering of chi, or whatever and comes like a Shotgun, right to Graver’s chest, Ka-Blam, sending him flying. This is followed up by a nifty looking springboard rolling moonsault from the second rope, which unlike Madrox’s effort from standing earlier, hits. Desperate to get this ordeal over with, Zessy covers: [align=center]One! Two!! Kick Out!!![/align] A frustrated Zessy springs back to her feet, and calls Graver to stand up… CM: Should such a beautiful girl really be kneeing people in the face when she could be, I dunno, dancing on our announcer table? CL: Now, Chip, she’s a serious and respected competitor here in… *breaks down into sniggers* JH: She is a serious and respected competitor here in FIW. Graver should be learning that before this second Flying Angel hits his face. That’s what he should be doing, but Graver just stands there, with a slightly unhinged chuckle emanating from his lips, all the way to the floor. Zessy, with her nerves and her patience both starting to wear a little thin, winds up a third Flying Angel, just as soon as Graver’s stood up again… CL: Well who knew? Madrox is still alive. The Phenomenal One reminds everyone of his presence just long enough to hold Zessy up. In turn, this is just long enough [as Zessy kicks him off] for Graver to stagger over, bloody nose and all, for a BAM! Stunner! Zessy falls back into the ropes, and stumbles right into the Violent Pornography! JH: If I didn’t know better, I’d say Graver was enjoying that just a little too much, CM: But Bitchen, you don’t know better, he really is enjoying that. JH: *Sighs* I hoped that I might, for one second be able to believe the opposite… The Truth scratches his head at this development. On the one hand, he has his duty as a referee to ask if Zesboca wants to give up. On the other, well, this is the Violent Pornography; if you don’t know why he doesn’t want to ask her, go look it up. Thankfully for him, Sean Madrox is on hand to make the process a little easier by dropkicking Graver in the back of the head, giving Zessy the change to prove that she’s not just a frail little girl, and Back Body Drop Graver over her shoulders, even over [but not quite cleanly,] the top rope to the outside. JH: Is it safe to look again? The crowd, taking Zessy’s lead, start clapping, and the two in the ring, go to join Graver on the outside, with Stereo Topés! CM: And there was me thinking Madrox was losing some brain cells from that kicking he took, earlier. CL: Idiot. He was kicked in the Spine. This is to say that Madrox did, in fact, not hurl himself out of the ring on top of Graver, but instead, stopped in the ring, to tap his head, knowingly. On the apron now, Graver is adopting a similar pose, seeing Zessy crash into the guard rail. Madrox & Graver’s eyes meet, with a look that borders on horror on both of their faces. Mr. Graves reaches for his Other Hot Sauce gun, tucked into the front of his belt line, and, as The Truth gets a dove out his cost and tries to persuade it to go check on Zessy, Madrox Eats Pepper Spray!!! CL: By Vishnu, he was lucky keeping that down there. He might have got pepper spray all over his- CM: So Graver’s a Sharp-shooter now? The Truth finally gets the dove to fly over to Zessy, and turns his attention back to the match, just in time to see the Reject Driver on Sean Madrox! The Pin… [align=center]One! Two!! Three!!! Is Academic!!! Ding Ding Ding!!![/align] MA: Here is your winner, by Pinfall… GRRRRRRAAAAAAYYYYYY-VEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! CL: So where’s the righteous indignation then, Hitchen? JH: Nope, haven’t got any for Sean Madrox, I don’t think. The EMTs come to check Madrox’s eyes, but he brushes them off and staggers into the crowd, as a slightly perked up Graver dances back up the aisle with his theme song. Zessy, looks on at all of this, clutching her neck, not amused in the slightest. |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:34 PM Post #5 |
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Sun shine lollipops and rainbows everything is wonderful is what I feel when we're together! Brighter than a lucky penny when y*u hear the raindr*ps disap*ear* de*r and I fe*l so *ine just *o k*ow t**t yo* are mine! The slow opening of Blood, milk, and sky signals for the lights to slowly die down until there is nothing but a flashing strobelight facing the entrance. The siren sings a Lonely song of all the Wants and hungers of all the Wants and hungers After moments when the music starts to pick up, Crackerjack moves onto the stage slowly and stands at the stages’ edge right at the stairs. Looking down to the left, Crackerjack suddenly jerks his head to the right to get a full glance in that direction. MA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, from the alleys of New York City… CRRRRRRRRACKERJACCKK!!! Moving forward again slowly, Crackerjack makes his way down the three steps one at a time. Empty Winds scrape on the Soul - but never stop To realize - but never stop To realize In a sort of sideways fashion, Crackerjack walks down to the ring not removing his gaze from it. Of course, it’s hard to tell with the mask, but it’s safe to assume. CL: This guy’s been impressive as hell since his debut on ReVolt. Kailey’s got that classic air to her, but my money’s all going into the Crackerjack victory pile. CM: Me too, money on Crackerjack. JH: I think you’re both forgetting that Kailey’s gone up against some of the biggest and baddest men in FIW history! Ragin’, Tier, Carl Lucas, the skull cowboy! And she’s even held victories over them! Not to mention her championship reigns. She’s a versatile and respectable young athelete, and I don’t think--impressive as he is--I don’t think a Crackerjack victory is as “in the bag” as you think. Just as Crackerjack reaches up for the ropes, the entire arena goes black for maybe three seconds, five tops. When all lights are back on, Crackerjack stands in the middle of the ring staring back at the entranceway as the song has skipped the second verse and gone into the chorus, still standing in a half sideways manner. The house lights begin to go out in succession, one section at a time leading up to the stage, as a low, rhythmic hum rattles through the speakers. A sound like fingers rubbing over the strings of an electric guitar adds to the hum and, by the time all the lights in the arena have gone dark, chanting voices have begun, adding to the cacophony. JH: What the hell is this? CM: Tier’s back. Betcha anything. Interfering on Kailey’s behalf? You saw them bein’ all close before he.. uh… left. Forty nerve-wrenching seconds later, a flash of red and silver pyros light up each corner of the ring. As the chanting voices grow in volume as if the owners' passions were growing with each chant, smaller batches of red and silver pyros alight in time with the strong, underlying beat of the music, and light the path from the ring to the stage, leaving a trail of smoke. CM: See? Red and black, smoke… totally Tier. Am I right, Conse? CL: If it’s the Lord God Tier, I know nothing about it. At the point when everyone wonders who is coming out instead of Kailey Lane, a strong guitar riff hits the speakers, and a moment later the drums join in as a bright flash of red pyros light up each side of the stage, illuminating the obvious silhouette of a woman through the curtain of smoke. The sillouette gyrates to the beat of "Twisted Transistor" by Korn, dipping her body low then jamming her hips forward and back suggestively. [align=center]Hey you, hey you, devil's little sister Listening to your twisted transistor Hold it between your legs Turn it up, turn it up Low end is coming through Can't get enough[/align] Like a stripper, the woman grabs onto a pole at the stage (was that there before?), and takes full advantage, seductively swinging a leg around it, pushing her hips against it, hugging it with her legs until she bends away from the pole, her face upsidedown. CM: Whoever she is, I LIKE HER! [align=center]A lonely life, where no one understands you But don't give up, because the music do Music do, music do, music do, music do, music do, music do[/align] As the smoke begins to clear, the crowd is beginning to make out details of the woman. What is she wearing? Who cares! She is pounding her hips back and forth in time to the music! [align=center]Because the music do and it's reaching Inside you forever preaching Fuck you, too, your scream's a whisper Hang on you twisted transistor[/align] The figure's hips writhe to the beat as she takes the steps away from the stage and slowly lowers herself to the floor. Getting down on all fours, she slinks her way to the ring, her hair blocking any view of her face as she crawls along, stretching her long legs behind her. Smaller pyros pyros go off along side her as if following her to the ring. [align=center]Hey you, hey you, finally you get it The world ain't fair, eat you if you let it And as your tears fall on Your breast, your dress Vibrations coming through You're in a mess A lonely life, where no one understands you But don't give up, because the music do Music do, music do, music do, music do, music do, music do Hey you, hey you, this won't hurt a bit This won't hurt a bit, won't hurt a bit Says who? Says who? Anesthetize this bitch! Anesthetize this bitch, anesthetize! Just let me be Between you and me don't fit [/align] When she stops at the ring, she rises and remains bent over at the waist, both arms covering her right leg and her hair covering any glimpse of her face. With a determined slowness, she runs her hands (compete with long red nails) up her black laced thigh-high boots and on up over her hip. She flings her head back and her hair falls away from her face as the music continues and the people close by collectively take in a breath. [align=center]Because the music do and it's reaching Inside you forever preaching Fuck you, too, your scream's a whisper Hang on you twisted transistor[/align] The camera zooms in and we see why everyone was shocked. It is Kailey Lane. But a darker version. This version has dyed the ends of her hair and her bangs black and red. She is tightly bound in a red corset inset with black lace. Her black leather skirt is short short and her thigh-high boots have stiletto-like heels. She takes her time straddling the middle rope, then puts her finger to her side of her lips as she makes an "o", finally climbing on into the ring. CL: … I’m speechless. CM: I think I just came. JH: This is… certainly unexpected! Crackerjack’s head is even tilted in a curious slant. That is, until Kailey charges him and NAILS him in the back of the skull with an almost shining wizard-like roundhouse kick! Dingdingding! CL: Sweet Jesus! If I weren’t married I’d be in love! CM: Um… seriously, I think I just came. Does anyone have any napkins? We see Crackerjack rise as we hear the sounds of Hitchen and Constance’s chairs wheeling away from Chip Martin, a satisfied smirk on Kailey’s lips as she takes a few steps back and urges Crackerjack to get up. The monster rises and looks to ringside at… well, nothing. But he nods and turns on Kailey with what could only be called… well, a blank look on his masked face. But if we could see behind the mask we’d know it was a renewed determination. He steps in quickly and wraps his arms around Kailey’s body before the Southern Hell’s Belle gets a chance to get a leg up. He then HEAVES her overhead with a ring-shaking belly-to-belly suplex! Kailey SKIDS across the ring before rising to her feet, anger boiling in her suddenly smoldering grey eyes. JH: Never let it be said Crackerjack doesn’t know how to adapt! CL: Adapt? He’s following the philosophy he always follows! Smash! Crush! Kill! Destory! I mean, I like the guy, but strategy? Really? You’re kidding. CM: I’m… I think I’m gonna go change my pants. You guys be OK without me? CL: I think we’ll be better. Get outta here, I think I can smell it… guh… We hear a headset rattle against the table as Kailey and Crackerjack face each other, each determining what action to take next. Crackerjack decides it’s time for a charge, eyeing Kailey for a change in posture so he can evade if need be. But the wise Kailey Lane waits until the VEEEERRRY last second to bend low, putting her shoulders ALMOST under Crackerjack’s ankles as she DESTROYS his center of gravity and sends him up and back with a back body drop that SENDS HIS SPINE CLATTERING UPSIDE-DOWN AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLE!!! CL: An AMAZING display of physics with that move, Kailey vaulted the THREE-HUNDRED-NINETEEN POUND Crackerjack overhead and into the turnbuckles! JH: This is a newborn ferocity we’ve never seen in Kailey! CL: I like it! Hell, I fucking LOVE IT. With Crackerjack tangled in the turnbuckle, Kailey puts the balls of her boots on his masked face and grabs the top rope, bouncing into the air before DRIVING a leg drop across the blood-stained black cowl! JH: Most men would consider themselves lucky to have Kailey’s ample backside so close to their face, but today just doesn’t seem like it’s Crackerjack’s day to enjoy it! CL: At that velocity, I wouldn’t wanna be hit with her BOOB, much less a muscled leg like that! Kailey walks off arrogantly with a swivel to her hips, her back fully on Crackerjack. He breathes for a moment before removing himself from his tangle in the turnbuckle. Full-tilt, Crackerjack CHARGES Kailey, ROARING as he barrels toward her exposed back at full-speed! JH: Kailey’d better turn around if she knows what’s good for her! Once again at the last second, she DOES Turn around, NAILING CRACKERJACK IN THE FACE WITH A FIST!! Crackerjack collides with her knuckles and loses his own feet, falling flat on his back! JH: Talk about the power of the punch! Arrogantly, Kailey grinds her stiletto heel against Crackerjack’s masked face, putting her hands on her hips defiantly. She sneers as Michaela Menendez drops down for a count. CL: If this actually happens, I’m going to shit. [align=center]ONE! TWO!! THREE!!![/align] CL: I don’t believe it! Crackerjack flutters back to consciousness and lifts his head JUST as Michaela’s hand hits the mat for three. Twisted Transistor kicks back in and Kailey removes her boot from Crackerjack’s chest, exiting the ring in much the same fashion she entered; showing off her assets all the way. She stands outside as Crackerjack feels his forehead on the inside, looking generally woozy. JH: I can’t believe Kailey knocked Prime down for the three count with little more than a leg drop and a well-placed punch! CM: Kailey Lane did WHAT!? CL: Welcome back, jizz-stain. You missed the match. CM: I missed the match? How did Crackerjack win? Why is Kailey’s music playing? JH: Kailey just scored a victory over the TITAN Crackerjack! With--oh, aahhh, and it all becomes clear! Kailey unbuttons the top button on her skirt and seductively reaches down inside. She bucks against her own hand in pantomime for a moment, but before the crowd gets TOO titillated, realizes she was simply reaching for something as she pulls out a pair of shiny gold brass knuckles. CL: Hey aren’t… aren’t those Ragin’s brass knucks? CM: Were, y’mean. JH: I can’t believe the sweetheart of FIW, Kailey Lane, would STOOP to such trickery! CL: Hey, she proved her point and knocked Crackerjack for a loop. What more could you ask for, eh? CM: Another dance like her entrance. Oh my GOD. Inside the ring, Crackerjack finally gets to his feet, pounding fists against his own head. He growls and TEARS The turnbuckle pad off the top turnbuckle and throws it into the audience before SHAKING the ropes like an angry gorilla. JH: Well Crackerjack sure doesn’t look happy about the situation. CL: And you would be? He exits the ring and JAMS a foot into a section of the fence barricade, causing a SEVERE boot-shaped dent! He then grabs it and PULLS IT RIGHT OUT OF THE FLOOR, TOSSING IT VIOLENTLY TO THE SIDE. Crackerjack: NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! CL: Aaaand he’s snapped. Security does all they can to hold the throng of fans at bay as Crackerjack storms off to the back. JH: What else unexpectedness can happen tonight!? |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:34 PM Post #6 |
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JH: The next match can only be described in one way, utter war. CL: And features a bunch of people, the majority which I could give two shits about. CM: While he may be leading a bunch of idiots, go Team Maj! JH: Not only do the opposing teams have issues with one another, they also have issues within their very teams. CL: Yes, yes, big fucking drama scene, whoopity doo. CM: Hopefully Elrick, Nightmare and Grant are the first ones eliminated then Maj makes an epic come back and takes out the opposing team. MA: Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the fifth match of this edition of ReVolt. It is elimination rules, where the match continues until one team is completely defeated. This match has been granted a thirty minute time limit and your official for this contest is Logan Black~!!! A soft yet haunting tune begins to play over the P.A. system as a man’s voice rings out… [align=center]”Journey with me Into the mind of a maniac Doomed to be a killer”[/align] The lights become a soft blue as the soft yet haunting tune slowly becomes distorted and it takes a few moments for it to clear up. Once it does, it sounds like it has seemingly transited from one melody to another as a new man’s voice sings. [align=center]The shadow within me… The sorrow at my feet…[/align] As soon as the last word is uttered the music picks up and the quick paced yet harmonic song “Simple Survival” kicks in. The ReVolTron springs to life with various images of Onikage’s in-ring career as well as various disturbing and distorted images. Jeers shower the arena from the fans packing it as they await the arrival of the man. [align=center]The shadow within me… The sorrow at my feet… The shadow within me… Gonna lead the revival… No Simple Survival for me[/align] Surprisingly the curtain is thrown back and a small army of men walk out from behind it. They are in a line and each one after the first is resting their hands on the shoulders of the one in front of them. Each one’s head is covered in a black towel with three crimson colored Xs on top of them. Slowly they trek down from the entrance way and along the walk way. The only truly odd thing about it being the fourth and final one is walking like he’s in a conga line. Quickly the first leads the unit up the steel steps and along the apron, they stop once all four are near the center in a line still. They detach from one another and in unison bend under the top rope and enter the ring. The leader takes off his towel, revealing him to be Onikage; the second one does the same and is revealed as Kiyoshi. To no one’s surprise the third removes his towel and is Steve Patterson, with the still dancing fourth one unveiling itself to be Felix Arroyo. With a nod of the head the Savior of Sorrow leads his troops over to the side of the ring where the hard camera is. Felix and Steve hop up onto the second buckle of the two corners, Steve darkly glaring out at the fans as Felix continues to bust a move. Mean while Onikage climbs up in the center of the ropes on the second one, balancing himself on it. Nakahata stands beside him and the duo lift their championships into the air at the same time. CL: What the fuck is this shit? CM: Oh Kiyoshi, how the mighty have fallen…aligning yourself with these riff raff. JH: It would look like Onikage’s team is showing just how united they stand, coming out together. MA: Introducing team number one…It consists of the “Emo Kid” Steve Patterson and “Fierce” Felix Arroyo, otherwise known as Hardcore SEX…The reigning FIW Fighting Spirit Champion, Kiyoshi Nakahata and…their leader…the reigning FIW Undisputed International Champion, Onikage…THEY! ARE! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAGE~!!! CL: That entrance may have been the gayest shit I’ve ever seen, they looked like they were trying to fuck each other blindfolded. CM: Never know with Felix… JH: Besides me disagreeing with your two’s opinions, I must admit, those Straight Edge towels are quite neat looking. The lights suddenly dim down as the voice of a lady sings over the top. The music is "Spitfire" by Prodigy. [align=center]Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah[/align] Just then, the music picks up, as there is a an explosion style pyro set off by the curtain. The crowd jump in shock, as the lighting turns to red searchlights rotating around the arena. There is smoke left from the explosion, and through it come the shadows of five people. The crowd start to boo. On the tron shows highlights from the career of Maj Tahal. Just then, from behind the curtain walks out the IMD himself, Maj Tahal, followed by his manager General Kumar Singh and his team. Maj is wearing his wrestling gear, while the General is wearing an all white suit, with a white turban. They both grin, as the crowd boo the two Indians. Elrick, Nightmare and Grant are not paying attention to Maj and General, and instead they start to make there way down the ramp. [align=center]If I was in World War Two they'd call me spitfire If I was in World War Two they'd call me spitfire If I was in World War Two they'd call me spitfire If I was in World War Two they'd call me spit. Fire Fire[/align] He comes down to the ring, and slides in, followed by the General who makes his way up the steps and through the ropes. His team mates all slide in under the bottom rope too. As Maj gets in, he heads to the far turnbuckle. He climbs onto the second rope, and looks out to the crowd. Various insults are thrown at him, which are just returned by Tahal back to the firey crowd. Maj continues the swap shop of curses, until he finally gives up on the crowd, and jumps off the turnbuckle. General Kumar gives him a few short pieces of advice, before heading to the outside. When Maj notices some thing, the rest of his team stands in the center of the ring, giving the R sign with their hands to cheer. Tahal quickly marches over and tells them to stop, shooing them over to their team corner. CM: Stupid former Revolution trying to get the fans to cheer them. JH: I think Maj shares your distaste for what they did. CL: Yeah, well Maj can go shove a corn cob up his ass for all I care. MA: And introducing team number two…It consists of Grant Rice, Nightmare and Elrick, otherwise known as the Revolution, and their team leader…the reigning FIW Grand Prix Champion…Maj Tahal…THEY! ARE! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAJ~!!! CM: Right, real fair, Onikage gets another champion and Maj is stuck with the FIW version of the Brady Bunch. JH: A champion whose title belt could be Elrick’s by the time Anarchy in the UK is over. CL: As well as it is just a matter of time before the tag belts are the Revolution’s. [align=center]DING DING DING~!!![/align] Upon the sound of the bell Kiyoshi and Nightmare circle the ring from one another, closing the distance between them slowly. This doesn’t last though as Nightmare bolts towards the champion and out stretches his arm, hitting the Nightmare-line! Amazingly Kiyoshi doesn’t even move a muscle from it and snorts in response to the lariat. He runs back and bounces off of the ropes, coming back and nearly beheading the Prince of Pain with a lariat of his own! JH: LAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIAAAAATOOOOOOO~!!! CL: Fuck sake! Didn’t any one ever tell Nightmare to not get into a lariat’ing contest with a Japanese wrestler?! CM: Such a mixed feeling, on the one hand Nightmare just got killed which makes me feel fuzzy, on the other hand, he’s on Maj’s team which makes me sad. JH: There may be truth to your comment Conse, the land of the Rising Sun is known for their masters of the lariat. CL: I can’t believe I’m saying this…but…hopefully Grimace can rebound. CM: No worries, sadly, nothing can kill the Grimace. One half of the Revolution tumbles across the canvas and rolls over to his corner, quickly tagging in his regular team mate, Grant. Rice shakes his arms a bit and cracks his neck as he circles around the ring with Nakahata, who looks a tad annoyed. When they near one another Grant fires off a stinging back hand chop, but Kiyoshi holds his ground! Desperately he unleashes several more chops and Nakahata holds his ground, kicking him in the mid-section. Forcefully he whips Grant into the ropes, the first time around Rice avoids what he’s going for, but the second time Kiyoshi lifts him up and drops him head first! CL: BAAAAAAAAAAACK DRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOP DRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVV-AAAAAAAAAHHHHH~!!! CM: Jeez you guys, get a room. JH: Last week and tonight Kiyoshi’s been looking like a man with a cause. CL: He’s actually winning me over more with how brutal he’s being, that fucker. CM: He’d really win points with me if he just crippled Grant with that move. JH: It’s called a Back Drop Driver, Chip. The White Haired Warrior sits up and looks out at the fans that are partly silent out of slight hint of yellow running through them all after seeing that. As he gets back up to his feet Rice, dazedly, meets him up there and staggers at him. While slightly sloppy due to seeing stars, Grant nails a left hook on Kiyoshi’s jaw. This sends the slightly heavier man back and even more so when he hits a second hook. CM: Oh no! Grant is going crunk on Kiyoshi! JH: …What in the world is crunk? CL: How the fuck should I know? CM: I heard it in some rap songs, it means to get messed up. JH: Oh…Well then yes, Kiyoshi is getting quite crunk right now! CL: I may not know what the fucking slang means, but I don’t think it means that… With him reeling Rice delivers a few quick left hand jabs, peppering the chubbier man’s body with his fist. Despite Felix’s cries for the referee to do some thing, Logan just watches as Nakahata is on spaghetti legs. The finishing blow comes when Rice nails a left hand hook that causes a wad of spit, and what looks like a tooth in it, to fly out of Kiyoshi’s mouth. This blow leaves him limply staying up via leaning against the top rope, Grant wastes no time in grabbing him and whipping him out of the ropes. JH: After that impressive combo of punches he hits the Jaw Jackin’! CL: Even with Maj Tahal holding them back, Revolution’s gonna win this thing! CM: First off, they are holding Maj back, and second off, it’s not the Revolution any more. JH: Technically Nightmare and Grant are the only members of the Revolution left standing. CL: Just you fuckers wait, with Xanthius back, it’ll start back up. CM: Right, right, sure it will. Springing off of the ropes the Yeti rushes back across the ring and into the waiting arms of his opponent, who kneels down slightly to hit a back drop. At the last possible second Nakahata scales up Grant’s knee and almost twists his head around with a palm strike! The two bodies tumble down to the canvas and Kiyoshi rolls up to a knee, thankfully near his corner to tag out to Steve. Arroyo looks on in shock as Steve enters the ring and whines to the Fighting Spirit Champion as to why he didn’t tag him in instead. CL: That shining palm strike thing Kiyoshi used last week! CM: The shining samurai. JH: …You don’t know it’s called that. CL: Yes, but when has that stopped him before? CM: Yeah, when has that sto-hey! JH: In either case, Steve Patterson is now in the ring. FIW’s Emo Kid dashes towards the ropes and bounces off of them, arriving back by Rice just as he starts to get up and meets him face first with a front dropkick! He kips up to his feet and climbs up his team’s corner with great agility before turning back around. Patterson looks near teary eyed as he hops off of the second buckle, launching his body forward. Viciously he comes down butt and lower back first, knocking the wind out of Rice’s chest with a senton splash! CM: Yay for flippity floppity stuff! Though boo for it happening to a team mate of Maj’s! JH: That was actually one of the less fanciful high flying maneuvers we’ve seen Steve pull off in his short time with FIW, though quite effective. CL: If it wasn’t for his attitude and his utter devotion to being a spot monkey, I might’ve complimented him for that actual nice move. CM: This isn’t looking good for Maj’s team! JH: You actually did compliment him any ways, Conse. CL: Shut your fucking pie hole limey. A grimace is on Patterson’s face as he rubs his now sore tail bone and gets up to his feet, a bit slower than last time. He sprints towards the ropes and leaps into the air, landing on the second rope and spring boards off of it. Flawlessly he connects with a corkscrew moonsault and rolls off of Rice, getting back up. Now on the other side of the ring he tries to hit another spring board maneuver, only to get met with the Nightmare-line when he nears the ropes in mid-air! JH: Nightmare-line! Good god! Nightmare might’ve just saved his partner! CL: Take that you little bastard with your illogical moves and poor selling, and means of telling a story! CM: Yeah! Wha…uh…he said I guess. JH: This could be the chance Grant needs, if he can tag in one of his team mates it could turn this thing around. CL: Elrick or Maj would probably be the best options since they are fresh. CM: Maj! Maj! Maj! Go for Maj! Winners go for Maj! The sheer impact from the blow sends Steve flipping through the air several times and nearly hitting Big Daddy Acid’s infamous finisher before falling to the mat. Slowly Rice and Patterson start crawling and making their way over to their corners. He manages to lift his body up just enough to tag in his partner before he falls against the bottom buckle. Felix stops Grant from getting too far and pulls him back into the center of the ring with a grin. CL: Fuck, the MySpace bitch made it to his corner first! CM: Boo! JH: Grant Rice is now in a world of trouble! CL: Especially with the Amazing Erection in there with him. CM: That would be a horrible Superhero. JH: …You two are so disturbing you go beyond words to actually describe it. To a wiggling of his hips Arroyo brings Rice to his feet and greets him with a European uppercut that almost sends him falling back down. Course, being as nice of a guy as he is Felix makes sure Grant doesn’t fall over and gives him a second European uppercut. Before his brain even registers the second one the Fierce One nails a third European uppercut, sending Grant Rice stumbling back. Oddly Felix lets him and rolls into a ball, rolling forward and suddenly springing upward with a rolling European uppercut! CM: You make Ahmed and Baby Jesus cry, Grant. JH: Just a few moments ago it was Grant hammering away on his foe, now it’s the other way around! CL: That last one was like some Mario Brothers shit or some thing. CM: Yeah, I was surprised how well Felix handled that ball. JH: … CL: Luckily, unlike Bitchen, I don’t have a perverse imagination so I get what you meant Chip. Jovially Arroyo rolls up to his feet and grabs a hold of Rice, with a bit of strain pulling up the Revolution member to his feet too. He scoops him up and flips him around in mid-air before interlocking his hands around Grant’s waist. Swiftly he humps right in Grant Rice’s upside down face before dropping down and hitting it’s Raining Men! That’s not all, much to Black’s chagrin, Steve comes over and they pick up Grant, nailing Just Eat It on him before Felix covers him! JH: It is the second time Grant Rice has now felt Just Eat It! CL: Least this time it wasn’t on cement steps. [align=center]1![/align] CM: Hey! Steve never left the ring, no fair! JH: While I agree, there is nothing we can do about it. [align=center]2![/align] CL: Nightmare better get in there and save his partner! CM: Yes, Grimace, get in there! [align=center]3~!!![/align] MA: Grant Rice has been ELIMINATED~! JH: Darn! Team Maj is now down four to three! CL: Well hopefully Elrick can even out those numbers! Elrick enters the ring and meets Felix at the center of the ring, the two each going for a running forearm smash and send each other down to the mat. They scramble back up to their feet and start firing off back hand chops at each other, one after another. Gracefully Arroyo ducks under one of Elrick’s chops and goes behind him, kneeing him on the side. It stuns him long enough for Felix to grope his naughty bits before hitting the Prostate Exam pump handle suplex! CL: Gah, for a queer, this bastard is pretty tough! CM: He…just…and…with…to…Elrick… JH: Oh come on now, this is wrestling, no need for that nonsense, thought we were rid of it when Graver stopped doing that to the women! CL: Felix being the homosexual equivalent of Graver is a frightening thought. CM: But it’s true, they both act the same. JH: …I wouldn’t say they act exactly the same. Before Arroyo can even think of going for the cover the Prince of Pain rushes into the ring and stomps him right on the head! Logan tries to hold back Nightmare which gives Steve Patterson the perfect chance to sneak up the turnbuckle. With the referee distracted, the slightly dazed Felix and Steve hit the Happy Ending combination on Elrick! Unfortunately, neither manages to grab a hold of him quick enough and he rolls over and tags in Nightmare! CM: Ha! That team work was all for nothing! JH: Nightmare’s back in this match and he’s no doubt looking for revenge! CL: Funny how both Maj and sheep fucker have yet to be in the match yet. CM: Maj is some thing you don’t rush and why have him waste his energy on these peons? JH: Because those peons have eliminated one of his team mates already? CL: Like he gives a shit about the Revolution. Quickly Felix starts to back pedal towards his team’s corner when Nightmare’s tagged in, though he doesn’t get too far. The veteran of FIW barrels towards him and tackles him to the mat and almost breaks him in half with the Unnamed Feeling! Black circles around the two as Nightmare tries to mount Felix and pound away on him. Eventually the King Kong of Gays scurries out from under his larger opponent and tags in his team captain. JH: Nightmare’s in the ring and he hits the Unnamed Feeling! CL: I’m sure Felix could name what he is feeling right about now. CM: And he goes crawling back to his corner to the warm embrace of his man lover! JH: I don’t think Steve and Felix are actually together, Chip. CL: He obviously meant Onikage, Hitchen. CM: Yeah, durr, I meant Onikage. As soon as he enters the ring the Prince of Pain makes a bee line for the masked oddity, looking for a second Unnamed Feeling. Instead the Straight Edge Artist side steps the bigger man and leads him shoulder first into the steel turnbuckle. While he clutches his shoulder Onikage yanks him out and puts him back first against the turnbuckle. Ensuring that Nightmare stays in his team’s corner he drives a few knee strikes into his mid-section. CL: Fucker avoided the Unnamed Feeling! CM: And now he is firing off those annoying knee strikes! JH: Also smart on Onikage’s part is keeping Nightmare in the corner to avoid him from being able to go across the ring and tag out. CL: Course, he has to face the guy who’s shoulder might be fucking shattered now. CM: This match needs more Maj. JH: Oh will you be quiet about Maj Tahal already?! Getting his fill of knee striking Nightmare, he scoops up the larger man and perches him up on top of the turnbuckle. In the blink of an eye he scales up the buckles until he’s up on the top one along side his foe. He tosses one of the Prince of Pain’s arms over the back of his neck and wraps his own around the back of Nightmare’s neck. With a handful of tights he impressively lifts the would be tag champ up into the air and hits a superplex! CM: Yay! No wait, he’s on Maj’s team, gah! JH: Good lord! Both men were put into a world of hurt with that move! CL: Bastard is trying to finish him off as quick as he can. CM: That’s not good, that’d make it two to four! JH: Odds that even the most skilled wrestlers would have trouble with. CL: Then Barney better get his ass over to his corner and tag out. This is easier said than done for the biggest man in the match; he tries to shake the cobwebs out of his head. By the time he does and is ready to head to his corner the Savior of Sorrow is already up and bringing him to his feet. He sets him up and looks to lift him up again, but this time Nightmare is wise to him, hitting a few punches in the kidneys. Instead Onikage opts to start to lift him up, still getting punched, and spring him off the ropes, connecting with a slingshot brainbuster! JH: Nightmare is getting picked apart here! CL: Gee, I fucking wonder why Onikage would be targeting the general areas of the back, neck and skull. CM: I don’t know either, why Hitchen? JH: I think he was being sarcastic, Chip… CL: Fucking duh, he’s setting up for his retarded submission. CM: Oh yeah, that makes sense. Nightmare clutches the back of his neck and kicks his feet in agony, not even noticing the UIC getting back up behind him. Without warning Onikage snatches his arm and plunges his middle and ring fingers into the Prince of Pain’s mouth. For Whom the Bell Tolls is locked tightly in and Logan kneels down, checking on the bigger man. Elrick and Maj try to enter the ring to aid him but Hardcore Sex cut them off, and without anywhere to go or any one to save him, he submits. CL: Fuck! CM: This situation just got a whole lot worse for Maj! JH: It is now down to two on four! MA: Nightmare has been ELIMINATED~! CL: Fucking hell, if Onikage and his band of rejects win this I’m fucking killing some thing. CM: I might join you. JH: It doesn’t look good for Elrick and Maj. Surprisingly Maj gets quite the cheer when he enters the ring and charges right at the man he faces in one week in a championship match. Though Onikage is smarter than to face off with Tahal right now and rolls towards his corner. He tags in Kiyoshi, who enters the ring quickly and grabs a hold of the Pathera in mid-run. Despite his attempt to judo flip his foe, Maj cart wheels out of it and charges at him again, hitting a leg lariat. CM: Yes! Maj got all of that one! JH: The leg lariat! Not as widely used as it’s counter part but just as deadly. CL: And a lot more flashy. CM: Hey, flashy’s good. JH: In some cases, yes. CL: Now he just needs to cover the dough boy and not get drawn into the trap of poking his stomach to hear him giggle. Luckily, Maj is wise to the folk lore of the Japanese dough boy and doesn’t, rather he goes behind the slightly dazed Nakahata as he gets up. Quickly he hooks him up into a pump handle position and lifts him up, bringing him down to the canvas neck first! The Hua Hai leaves the Yeti out of it and he even more slowly starts getting back up. Getting a bit cocky Maj mocking slaps Kiyoshi’s head a few times, only for the FSC to hook him and hit the STK! JH: Space Tornado Kiyoshi! S-T-K! CL: More commonly known as S-T-O! CM: Wait…where is the space tornado that the name refers to? I don’t see it. JH: …Seriously? …Do Constance or I even need to comment on that? CL: I do, you’re a fucking moron Chip. CM: What?! It’s called Space Tornado, where is the space tornado?! Both men are out on the mat and Logan starts his count to see if either will get up before the count of ten, by five they both start to stir. At seven they get back up fully, just not standing straight, and Nakahata fires off a few quick forearm strikes. Maj goes to return the favor but the White Haired Warrior ducks underneath it and goes behind him. Much to Tahal’s horror, he locks in a sleeper and yanks on it, carrying it over into his infamous move! CL: Blinded by the gold, stumble into a yawning chasm of Infinite Whiteness! CM: What’s that now? JH: We’ve seen him do it before, Chip. CL: Yeah, remember, the tables match? CM: Oh! Is this the rumored and infamous Mister Peepers Driver?! JH: Please excuse Chip, folks. Like he always does, immediately the Fighting Spirit Champion goes to lock in the Dojime Sleeper, which causes the Panthera to panic. Frantically he places his leg up on the bottom rope and gets the referee to make Kiyoshi break the submission. As soon as the referee is out of position Maj rears back, kicking Nakahata in the family jewels as he gets off of him. His eyes water up and he collapses beside Maj as the GP Champ gets back up to his feet. CM: Ha, ha, oh that Maj, such a rascal! JH: I wouldn’t exactly call breaking the rules being a rascal. CL: That’s because you don’t want to be the one to steal his butt virginity like Chip here does. CM: Hey! I do not! …Besides, I heard it’s already been taken from him… JH: That’s an image I’d rather not have in my head right now. CL: By who, Felix? The fans shower Tahal in jeers as he points to his head, showing he has smarts, and scoops up his chubbier foe. He tosses one of Kiyoshi’s arms over the back of his neck and wraps one of his around Nakahata’s before grabbing a handful of tights. Impressively he lifts the other man up into the air and holds him there for several minutes, letting all the blood rush to his head. Then he suddenly brings him down in a hooked side slam, hitting the Bolta! JH: This looks to be potentially the end for Kiyoshi! CL: The mother fucking Bolta! CM: Yeah, show that tub of goo who’s boss! …Sorry Kiyoshi, I like you too but Maj wins out in this case. JH: Can Kiyoshi make a come back?! We’ve seen stranger things happen before! CL: Yeah, we’ve seen Graver actually out wrestle some one. CM: That was a shocker. Maj points to one of the neutral corners and hurries over to it, slowing down his pace when he’s got to climb up it. Unfortunately, this gives Kiyoshi time to start to stir and slowly he gets back up to his feet, using the ropes to help him. Likewise, it is unfortunate for Kiyoshi that Elrick scurries into the ring and gets behind him, locking in a full nelson. The ElrickPlex ’06 is nailed seconds before Maj comes off the top with the Bombay Nights! CL: Yes! Fucking beautiful double team move! CM: Maj’s got the cover! [align=center]1![/align] JH: Could Maj lead Elrick and come back from this disadvantage to win the entire match?! CL: Not very fucking likely, but who knows. [align=center]2![/align] CM: Cooooome on! JH: Lucky for Maj, Elrick is guarding the pin fall to ensure none of Kiyoshi’s team mates can come in and stop it. [align=center]3~!!![/align] MA: Kiyoshi Nakahata has been ELIMINATED~! CL: Yes! Fucking two to three seem like better odds to me! CM: They sure do! As soon as Maj gets to his feet he is met with a spinning headscissors takedown from the Emo Kid half of Hardcore Sex! Felix quickly pulls Elrick out of the ring as Steve claps his hands together and hits a standing moonsault on his fallen foe. In the blink of an eye he is back up and this time hits a standing shooting star press onto the GP Champ! He starts stomping on Maj’s skull but the Panthera rolls away and out of the ring and hops off of the apron. CM: So mixed feeling, pretty moves, yet, done to Maj. JH: Steve Patterson is on fire right now. CL: Yeah, not sure how fucking wise it is to go to the outside when you are facing a spot monkey. CM: Could we get one of those flippities to the outside?! I love those! JH: Possibly, I’m certain Steve knows quite a few of those. CL: But first he needs to help his life mate. Indeed, Logan tries to break up the small scuffle going on the apron between Elrick and Felix Arroyo, which draws Steve’s attention to it. Even though he is a heel and friends with one of them, Patterson is surprisingly being unbiased as he helps the referee. After that issue is resolved he turns around and gets a steel chair shot right to the face! Tahal quickly discards his weapon of choice and goes for the cover, but Logan saw it and calls for Anderson! JH: Maj got caught red handed! CL: Fuck! That doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?! CM: I sure hope not, this match needs more Maj still! MA: Maj Tahal has been ELIMINATED~! JH: It’s now down to Elrick verse the three remaining members of Onikage’s team! CL: Fuck sake! Talk about the fucking odds stacked against you! CM: Ah well, least I can watch them destroy Smellrick now. Elrick enters the ring and quickly tries to save his hide and make things more even by picking up the scraps Maj left him. But Steve’s already recovered enough that he rolls away from the English man and tags out to Felix. Arroyo enters the ring and struts across the side of the ring near his corner as Onikage checks on Patterson. Knowing that the odds are against him, Elrick wastes no time and barrels towards the strutting Felix, knocking his block off with a roaring forearm! CL: Yes! He knocked that fag right onto his ass! CM: Even I can cheer Elrick for that! JH: It’d be quite some thing if Elrick can defy the odds and win this match! CL: You ain’t fucking kidding. CM: As long as he eliminates Felix, I’m happy. JH: Elrick has shown before his high tolerance for pain! Gradually Felix gets back up to his feet at a slow pace and the Career Killer scoops him up onto his shoulders, walking around with him in the fireman’s carry. He tosses him up off of them and delivers the Whiplash to Arroyo! Felix scrambles up to his feet and staggers about before falling face first to the canvas like a certain legend. Using this chance, Elrick gets Felix’s legs onto his shoulders and picks him up before hitting the Career Suicide! CM: Yes! Elrick is pulling out all the stops to finish this queer guy off! JH: The Whiplash and the Career Suicide one after another! CL: Come fucking on Elrick! Fucking do this shit! CM: I don’t want to see more humping in this match damn it, Elrick, take care of this guy! JH: I think we can all agree we don’t want more humping. CL: Except Chip, since though he says he doesn’t like it, secretly he loves it. As the referee checks on Felix suddenly Steve shoos the Savior of Sorrow off of him and enters the ring, he runs right at Elrick from behind. The Career Killer doesn’t even notice until it is too late and Steve drives the point of the steel chair into the back of Elrick’s neck! He discards the steel chair Maj used earlier too and hurries over to Felix. Logan doesn’t smell any thing fishy when he turns around and sees Elrick down as Arroyo gets to his feet. JH: Oh come on! That’s a bloody cheap shot! CL: Fuck this shit! CM: Ye…actually, that was kind of cool, I think I might like this Steve kid. JH: This is deplorable and disgusting actions from Hardcore Sex! CL: Mother fuckers! Elrick had this shit in the fucking bag! CM: Well, their team captain doesn’t look too happy about it either. Hardcore Sex scrambles over to Elrick’s fallen body and scoop it up, hooking various body parts before lifting him into the air. They hit the Just Eat It before Patterson rolls back out onto the apron and Arroyo goes for a rather odd cover. He positions it so the two of them are upside down on each other, with him getting a face full of the Career Killer’s crotch. CL: Fucking hell! Just Eat It which targets the neck too! CM: D’oh! [align=center]1![/align] JH: In an ironic sort of twist, Maj Tahal bringing in the steel chair brought about the downfall of both the remaining members of his team! CL: Calm the fuck down, it’s not fucking over yet! [align=center]2![/align] CM: Come on, it’s over, Elrick’s not kicking out. JH: The chances of him doing so do seem unlikely. [align=center]3~!!! DING DING DING~!!![/align] CL: Fuck! CM: Darn it! MA: Elrick has been eliminated and as such…your winners are…TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAM OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE~!!! As soon as the bell rings Steve reenters the ring with Onikage not too far behind him. Felix runs over and nearly tackles both with a hug, raising their arms in victory as “Simple Survival” starts up to jeers. Onikage pulls his arm free though and glares at Hardcore Sex, complaining to them what they did. Felix gets the puppy dog eyed look while Steve is surprisingly more annoyed looking at being scolded. Eventually the masked oddity gives up trying to talk sense into them and leaves as Hardcore Sex continue to celebrate the victory. |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:36 PM Post #7 |
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The arena plunges into darkness as "O Fortuna" gongs in and rings out all around the arena. All attention, cinemagraphically speaking, is drawn to the ReVoltrons which both present a video that puts Prime in a masterpiece light. In this video package he poses in and out of shadows, flexing in flickers of white light and then the choir culminates into the final chord… [align=center]YEAAAA![/align] Saliva's "I Walk Alone" rocks the PA as the afore mentioned darkness now gives way to a spectacular and celestial light show. The ReVoltrons now light up with Primes symbol bouncing and vibrating in and out of focus beneath a sheer static overtone. Prime walks out onto the stage with his head hung... [align=center]I WALK ALOOOONE![/align] MA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… from San Diego, Californa… the Evolution of Excellence! … PRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!! Standing before the capacity crowd, Prime reels back and pops off a shouting Triple H pose into the Randy Orton “Legend Killer” pose but modified into more of a flex and grin. A machine gun pyro effect fires all around Prime through the chain link fencing as he holds his pose. The pyro smoke intentionally consumes his body and he soon burst through the smoke all pumped up, shouting, and ready to go. He makes his way confidently to the ring. JH: This should be an interesting contest. It’s not too often these days in FIW we have to fellows try and “out-hoss” each other. With ease, he leaps up onto the apron and all four posts and four matching ceiling sets burst in a sparkling white flare. Prime ducks between the ropes and heads right to the turnbuckle. Once he stands on the middle rope, Prime throws out his "Prime pose" once again and then leaps backward off the turnbuckle and bounces to warm up before his match. CL: The only way Xtreme Kitten’s gonna try and “out-hoss” a man 55 pounds his superior is if he’s been dropped on his head recently. We’re going to see a hellacious strike fight from his end. A low hum sound comes from the speakers and soon a guitar begins to play with sound effects in the background, drums and the sound steel being hammered comes in at around thirty seconds. Xtreme Kitten appears from behind the curtain as the drums come in; Lucy is following Kitten as she holds onto her large steel chain which as usual is attached to a collar around Xtreme Kitten’s neck. Xtreme Kitten kicks the chain link fence on the stage in time with the beat of the hammer; he stays on the stage kicking until percussion drops out, Kitten snaps to an attention like pose. [align=center]I clench my teeth and realize My world is so near its demise A dying sun in a poisonous sky Stinging my eyes Burning with contempt and conflict[/align] MA: And his opponent! From Shoal Bay, Australia… XTREEEEEEEEEEEEEME… KITTEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!! The percussion comes back with the vocals but the steel sound is gone. Xtreme Kitten starts to walks to the front of the stage and stops at the stairs as Lucy pulls on the chain, they walk down the stairs together and walk towards the ring. Xtreme Kitten and Lucy stop at ring side. [align=center]As of now I am a tool Of severe impact[/align] Xtreme Kitten begins to move as the steel sound comes back, he once again kicks the fencing with the sound. Lucy leads Xtreme Kitten around the ring; they stop near the ring stairs as the music drops out, the bass booms, the music comes back and Xtreme Kitten and Lucy head up the stairs. CM: Whatever we see, it’s gonna be good. I love BOTH of these guys! [align=center]I clench my fist and visualize The blood that is spilled is our own I open wide my bloodshot eyes Count the dead A result of dysfunction[/align] Lucy undoes the collar around Xtreme Kitten’s neck during the verse, the music is cut, Lucy hopes off the apron, Xtreme Kitten steps into the ring and goes to his corner ready to start the match. [align=center]Dingdingding![/align] Xtreme Kitten starts the match by eyeing Prime and walking a counter-clockwise circle about the ring. Prime follows his path, never taking his eyes from the Kitten. The fighters return to where they started and almost simultaneously lurch forward into a tieup! Prime goes for the traditional collar-and-elbow, but XK is opting for the Muay Thai clinch, which sees him as the aggressor. He pulls Prime’s meaty shoulders down and manages to fire three knees to his face before the Evolution of Excellence pushes away. CM: Nice-ass knees from Xtreme Kitten! JH: Prime checking his nose for blood, there, apparently he agrees! Prime eyes his foe as though trying to figure out how to crack a particularly troublesome nut. XK allows Prime to pick his spot, waiting for the larger man to step in before swinging a low kick at his legs. Prime immediately withdraws his foot, narrowly escaping the sting of Kitten’s new boottip. CL: I certainly wasn’t expecting this much psychological foreplay to the match, but hey. Pleasant surprise. CM: This is boring. Someone SMASH someone! Prime shakes his head and chuckles at the battle-ready Kitten before BARRELLING into the fray! Kitten launches an elbow-strike to intercept, but Prime has it scouted and dives UNDER the elbow, torturing Kitten’s ribs with a football tackle! He throws a clubbing blow to the downed Kitten’s head before rising with a ROAR of superiority! CM: YES! Prime finds a way through! CL: Strategy like that is going to play an important part in this match, that’s for damn sure. Kitten nimbly slides to his feet and takes a few steps back from Prime before getting to his full height. It’s Kitten this time who takes the initiative, flying in with a jumping roundhouse that knocks the spit from Prime’s mouth! Prime turns back as XK pivots on his landing foot and into a back kick that catches Prime in the opposite ribs. Staggered a bit, Prime buckles his knees which gives XK the opportunity to step-up and DRIVE AN UNFORGIVING KNEE INTO PRIME’S JACKED-UP NECK!! CL: Kao Loi! JH: Even the Juggernaut had a weakness in his head, and Xtreme Kitten has just exploited the smug target atop Prime’s shoulders! Kitten takes a second to waffle Prime’s cranium with a pair of soccer kicks before he extends his arm and starts licking it calmly, making it nice and clean before DRIVING an elbow into Prime’s forehead! JH: That has GOT to smart! I’m surprised Prime isn’t bleeding from the forehead after that elbow! Kitten lays across Prime with a lateral press and hooks one massive leg. Mark Jackson and his moustache drop for a count… [align=center]ONE! TWO--NO![/align] Prime wraps both arms around Kitten and rolls over on top of him, laying parallel. Prime keeps his upper body pressed against Kitten, but pulls his knees up to kneel, then finally LIFTS both his own torso and Xtreme Kitten as he finds his feet and CRUSHES XK’s body with both arms! CM: Now THAT is a bear hug! Or would it be a cat hug? HA! I’m so fucking hilarious. JH: Kitten could be in trouble here. He’s strong, but is he strong enough to power out of this tormentors move? CL: I seriously think you’re underestimating XK’s strength here, Hitchen. He might not be as jacked up as Prime, but we’ve seen him do some damn impressive things with his muscles. He’s not being so impressive right now, as his face is turning red with the effort of not turning into paste from Prime’s massive bear hug. Prime wriggles XK in place a bit to jostle his ribs against those bulging arms, causing Kitten to cough in pain. Mark Jackson, like a good referee, is right there, asking Kitten if he wants to give. XK shakes his head and Prime jostles him again, visibly applying more pressure to the hold. CM: He’s a tough bastard for holding out this long. I know half the undercard would be crying and pissing themselves right now! CL: I’m sure that’s just the reaction Prime’s looking for, too. Urine all down his washboard abs.[/sarcasm] Kitten kicks his legs in a bid to drive a knee or toe into something vital enough to make Prime put him down, but Prime hoists him a little higher and resituates himself to make nothing crucial a target. Kitten grits his teeth in frustration, and Mark Jackson asks him again if he wants to quit. Kitten literally spits a “no!” as his whole upper body seems to be turning red. JH: You have GOT to admire the dogged determination of the former Undisputed International Champion! CL: Dogged determination gets you one of two things; crippled and victorious. CM: Let’s hope it’s the latter, I like XK uncrippled. Kitten’s eyes bulge suddenly, though not from the pressure (OK, maybe a little) but from getting an idea. He closes his viewing orbs and starts calmly licking Prime on the forehead in a bathing manner. CL: What in the blue-green Hell!? Kitten continues calmly licking Prime as the aggressor furrows his brow in confusion and finally THROWS Kitten down out of sheer disgust! JH: What a tactic! If Prime gets the victory here it sure as hell won’t be submission! The Evolution of Excellence washes a boot across XK’s face before hooking his leg for a pin. CM: It might be by pinfall, though! Mark Jackson drops for a count… [align=center]ONE! TWO!! THRE---NO!!!! TWO AND THREE POINT NINE QUARTERS, AND KITTEN KICKS OUT!![/align] JH: And the match continues! CL: But for how much longer? Kitten’s visibly strained from that bear hug-- Prime has risen to a knee, staring out at the crowd in disbelief that his pinfall was not successful. He doesn’t stay staring for long, though, as Kitten SHOOTS up a leg that catches Prime RIGHT in the temple and knocks him to the side! CM: Don’t speak so soon! Exkay’s still in this game! Kitten rises to his feet and looks to Lucy outside the ring, shaking his head as she encourages him toward victory. With Prime still on his knees, Kitten drives an easy knee to his facemeats. He follows it with another, and finally a knife-edge chop right across the kisser! NO! Prime catches Kitten’s arm after it connects with his nose and uses it to pull himself to his feet! Prime applies his superior strength and throws Kitten toward the ropes with an Irish whi--NO! Kitten do-si-dos into obtaining control of the whip and pulls Prime RIGHT INTO A SHORT-ARM ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! CM: HELLO KITTY ROUNDHOUSE!! Kitten keeps his hold on the dazed Prime’s arm and uses it to pull the Adonis onto his shoulders for an Argentine backbreaker! JH: Uh oh, this could spell the end for Prime! CL: I seriously can’t believe he can support all that weight for long, much less-- Kitten HEFTS Prime’s mass and spins him around, DRIVING HIM HEADFIRST INTO THE CANVAS!!! CM: CAT’S MEEEEOOOOOWWWWW!!! CL: I stand corrected. Kitten grabs Prime’s leg and rolls backward across his chest for a cover! Mark Jackson drops for a count… [align=center]ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!![/align] MA: Your winner, by pinfall… XTREEEEEEME… KITTTTTTTEEEEEEENNNNNN!!! JH: And the Xtreme Kitten pulls out a victory over Prime! CL: That sure as hell shut Prime up. Xitten gets to his feet and exits the ring into Lucy’s arms, throwing his own fists in the air in victory. He sneers at a few fans and kicks the fencing a bit in time to his music. That music suddenly stops, however, as the excitement in the ring warrants it. Over the barricade and under the ropes hops TOAN, who slides in over the slowly rising Prime and locks in an Asiatic Spike submission! CM: SPIDER IN THE BRAIN!!! SPIDER IN THE BRAIN!!! CL: What the hell is that transitional fucking champion doing in the ring!? Toan wrenches the hold on Prime, who ROARS in pain and claws at every part of Toan he can manage. Kitten gets a scowl on his face and breaks away from Lucy to re-enter the ring and DRIVE A BOOT STRAIGHT INTO TOAN’S FACE!! JH: XTREME KITTEN JUST GOT HIMSELF SOME OF THE CHAMP!! XK hits a few more boots before Toan catches his leg and uses it to pull himself up. Toan fires a few HARSH knife-edge chops, but it doesn’t knock the Kitten down as he comes back with a DAMNING KNEE STRIKE!! JH: STOP THIS!! SOMEONE STOP THIS MADNESS!! CL: Why? I LIKE madness! Some space is put between Toan and Kitten, which seems to be just the perfect place for a woozy Prime to rise and LAMB-BASTE KITTEN WITH A LARIAT FROM HELL!!! Toan pulls in behind Prime with clubbing forearm shots, and Prime gets a MONSTROUS fist to Toan’s head! Kitten gets up to rejoin the fight at about the time security floods past Lucy and into the ring, using their sheer numbers to tear the warring triad apart! JH: Cut to commercial! Cut to something! These men are uncontrollable!! |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:37 PM Post #8 |
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Unregistered
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We return from wherever the hell we just were to see Jinglez, Gog Earthbeard, Frank, Wendigo, Azazel, and the Green Dragon standing in the ring, quite a ways apart, staring at each other. JH: Well, ladies and gentlemen, the FIW: Next! contest continues this week, and today we’ve got a six-man over-the-top-rope battle royale! CM: Unlike previous weeks, the winner of this match will receive the honor of having “immunity” from voting, ensuring that they’ll make it into next week’s contest regardless of whether or not the fans think they suck balls. CL: I’m eager to see Wendigo fuck some people up, let’s get on with it. [align=center]Dingdingding![/align] As predicted, Wendigo IMMEDIATELY decapitates Jinglez with a clothesline. He isn’t quick enough, however, to dodge out of the way of Gog’s welcoming arms, which accept him into a back body drop (though admittedly, not an incredibly high-angled one…) Azazel tears toward Frank with demon speed and leaps into the air with a single-fist blow to the throat! CL: Quite the amazing display of aerial mastery and ruthlessness from Azazel! JH: If only his attitude matched his skill. Frank hits the mat only long enough for Green Dragon to pop in behind Azazel with a simple bulldog, which effectively cements his nose into the canvas. Wendigo has relocated his feet in the meantime, and is squaring off against Gog who still manages to look fierce as hell against the monster. Gog SPEARS Wendigo in the stomach, pinning him against the ropes with his massively strong arms. Wendigo pounds fists against Gog’s back and nails a few knees to the abdomen, but before he can break free Jinglez pops up out of nowhere and runs a line along Gog’s spine, COLLIDING ass-first with Wendigo! The big man breaks free of Gog at JUST that time, unfortunately freeing his legs to tumble with the rest of him over the top rope and to the outside! JH: Great elimination by Jinglez, though he managed to get rid of himself in the process. CL: Not so, Limey! Jinglez has his Jugg-hands on the top rope there, and he’s rolled back in under the bottom rope. CM: Athletic little clown, ain’t he? Gog Earthbeard is waiting there for Jinglez, but doesn’t manage to get any shots in as Frank comes in from behind with a sleeper drop that bangs Gog’s cranium against the mat. Frank stands to leap over Gog’s head and drive his hips into Gog’s abdomen. Jinglez scoots over to where Green Dragon and Azazel are fighting and joins Green Dragon in sending Azazel for a vertical suplex--BUT NO! Azazel TWISTS in mid-air and pivots 180 degrees, pulling both Jinglez and Green Dragon down with a double DDT!!! CL: I can’t decide who’s more athletic, Azazel or Jinglez! CM: Well, they both have “magic powers”, so I guess it’s a question of which is stronger… demons or genies? CL: It sounds so ridiculous when YOU say it. CM: Oh trust me, it sounds ridiculous when THEY say it too. JH: Settle down, guys. These are impressive athletes despite what they believe in or believe themselves to be… Frank and Gog are exchanging strikes, Gog with a headbutt to match each of Frank’s punishing kicks. The headbutts finally take command, stunning Frank for long enough that Gog can get a running start on him, shouldering his weight against Frank’s and KNOCKING him hard into the ropes. Frank has barely a chance to THINK about recovery when Gog hoists him by the ankles and dumps him over the top rope to the floor. CL: I’m honestly surprised Frank didn’t last longer. CM: Against a wrestler like Gog? Who the fuck wrestles like that? Train all you like under the “greatest” wrestlers you like, you’re not gonna be prepared for a guy who just plain uses his own body as a weapon. CL: He’s surprisingly strong for a little guy, too, judging from that torture rack he’s got Jinglez locked in, there. Gog has indeed wrangled the fallen Jinglez into a punishing Canadian backbreaker as Azazel has forced the Green Dragon into the corner. Azazel hits a mouse, then FLIES into a chokehold on the Green Dragon--NO! Green Dragon thumbs Azazel’s burning yellow eye in desperation! JH: Dirty tactics from such a talented wrestler! It’s pitiful… CM: Ah, it’s funny. Lighten up, Bitchen. Azazel clutches his eye as the Green Dragon mounts the turnbuckle, faces the opposite direction, and MOONSAULTS INTO AZAZEL, FLATTENING HIM TO THE MAT!! Jinglez jabs a finger into Gog’s beardy mouth, pulling on his lip and yelling in a bid to escape from the torture rack. This seems to do the trick as Gog releases him and yells loudly before stomping a few times on the downed clown. The Green Dragon hauls Azazel to his feet, pushing him toward the ropes, but Azazel opens his mouth and EXHALES FLAME AT THE GREEN DRAGON!! Dragon backs up and trips over his own feet, falling to the mat, but Jason Eppleigh pops up behind Azazel and grabs him by the hair, dragging him over the top rope out of the ring! JH: More dirty tactics… you know, I thought I liked these guys. I can’t believe they’d act like this in the ring. CM: Take the stick out of your ass, Hitchen. CL: Gog, Green Dragon, and Jinglez are the only men left. Still a pretty varied chance on who’ll come out on top. Gog turns his attentions away from Jinglez to fend off the approaching Green Dragon, who fires a few high kicks at Gog. Realizing that a strike war with the massive-armed dwarf is about retarded, Dragon feints back to charge into a--well, we’ll never really know since Gog kitchen sink’s him in the abs, sending him flipping over his knee. Gog drives a knee into the Green Dragon’s chest before pulling him to his feet. Mr. Earthbeard then takes a few steps back and takes a CHARGING leap into the air before STRIKING down on Dragon’s chest with a double axehandle that DRIVING him backward with such velocity that he topples over the top rope and to the floor below! JH: It’s just Gog and Jinglez now! Gog raises a triumphant fist and hollers to the fans as, from behind him, Jinglez produces a 20 oz bottle of peach Faygo and pours the contents into his gullet. He holds it in place, waiting for Gog to turn around. The dwarf finally does, and WHEN he does, Jinglez evacuates the beverage from his lips, SPRAYING it in Gog’s eyes! CM: Was that a… a… peach Faygo mist!? CL: *laughs* Daisuke the Crow would be proud. Jinglez flips Gog off and NAILS a dropsault that sends the dwarf over the top rope and straight into the recovering Green Dragon and his aiding manager, Jason. The bell rings, signaling the end of the contest, and Jinglez stands in the ring with his arms raised, triumphant! JH: Well, Jinglez has proven himself to be a talented wrestler, even if a lot of his tactics were highly illegal. CL: He won the match, didn’t he? That’s really all that matters. And he’s got immunity in the next voting contest, so it’ll be interesting to see who of the five others will be eliminated. Jinglez follows the rest of the NEXT! roster to the back, slapping hands with approving fans as he goes. |
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| Crimson Shards | Mar 1 2007, 01:39 PM Post #9 |
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Unregistered
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JH: Now is time for our main event… one which we’d never thought we’d see. CL: You mean a sanctioned main event? Whoda thunk it? JH: Uh, no… it’s the re-union of Toan and Momoko Wakari, Club Kamikaze going against an unlikely duo of Xanthius and Matt Impact. CM: Ah, great… I guess. CL: This just has “train wreck” written all over it. Michael Anderson takes centre stage and brings the house microphone up to his mouth… MA: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages… this is our main event of the evening! The infamous quote from Christian Bale's role in American Psycho is heard around the arena... [align=center]"The pain is constant and sharp... and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact... I want my pain to be inflicted on others..."[/align] The tunes of “New Age Messiah” by Sentenced sends the crowd into a frenzy of jeers as it pumps out the PA system before the man himself, the Hardcore Jesus walks threw the curtains with the FIW Duel Crown Championship strap on his shoulder and his mouthpiece, LOBO Malvado, alongside him Toan stands on the top of the walkway, looking out at the people in attendance with an apathetic scowl… before raising his arms into his trademark crucifix pose that sets off blazing flames from the stage to erupt! As they then die down the Deathmatch Bastard lowers his arms and walks down the walkway, stopping only to call a random fan a faggot or some other slur or threat as LOBO follows nearby… advising possible lawsuits as a result of Toan make good of his threats aren’t good for company image along the way. LOBO takes his position at ringside as Toan reaches the apron and slides into the ring, ascending to the middle rope of a nearby turnbuckle and performing the crucifix pose once again, flexing to show the abundance of scars around his body to the audience’s displeasure. Toan then hops down, remove his shades and ring jacket and throws them to LOBO on the outside as he places the Duel Crown Championship at his feet and leans in the bottom turnbuckle of his corner for the match to start. CL: Yay… our saviour(!) CM: Glad you agree with me. *boink* CM: OW!!! CL: It’s called sarcasm, you twit. JH: *chuckles* The musical jingles familiar to Kill Bill fans of Ironside’s “Quincy Jones” hits on the PA system as red lights around the arena behind to strobe in and out to the creepy air of the music before the ear-splitting tunes of “Dead In Hollywood” by Murderdolls pound out the PA system … Momoko appears from behind the curtain with her Stop Sign in one hand and a sickle and staple gun attached to each other by a chain on each of the handles. Momoko raises the Stop Sign in the air for the admiration of the fans and yelling what we can assume is an insult in her native language to the fans in attendance and saunters down the ramp way towards the ring… Momoko upon reaching the ring... Momoko places her sickle, staple gun and Stop Sign in her corner before climbing into the ring and to the middle rope of her corner’s turnbuckle. She then stares out callously to the masses in attendance and flips the bird to everyone in her immediate area before hopping back down and awaiting the match to start. JH: Perhaps one of the most ferocious wrestlers to have ever stepped foot in an FIW ring… CL: Please… she’s not 2 Dope. CM: From what I remember, 2 Dope never carried sickles… or electric drills… or one big-ass Stop Sign with his name on it. The opening riffs of ‘Sehnsucht’ pound through the PA system as smoke covers the stage and red spots flash and dance around the arena. [align=center]“Lass mich deine Träne reiten übers Kinn nach Afrika…”[/align] Xanthius steps out onto the stage looking around at the jeering crowd. He focuses on the ring and descends the steps walking without hurry, but not slowly either towards the ring. The flashing red lights stop and the house lights return to normal as Xanthius steps onto the apron to get hit with a dropkick right in the face by the reigning Dual Crown Champion!!! JH: Oh, my! Toan hitting a Pearl Harbour on Xanthius! CM: What?!? He stole Momoko’s finisher? CL: He means he jumped him from behind, you twat. Whilst they commentators argue amongst themselves Xanthius gets back up onto his feet as Toan gets a head of steam off the ropes and dives threw the ropes straight at his opponent with a Suicide Tope!!! Momoko climbs out of the ring as Michael Anderson clears the ring and Tony Clarke climbs in, attempting to quell order among the match that isn’t even officially underway… from our first glance, I mean. Toan gets up, favouring his skull as he walks around the ringside area to LOBO… obviously groggy in some small part this early portion of the match given the high-risk move so far. The champ barks Momoko an order as he passes her before asking if his skull is bleeding from his second… Reluctantly, Momoko puts the boots on Xanthius on the outside as he shakes the cobwebs from the jump-started attack… right as Matt Impact comes running down the aisle! CL: Here comes the cavalry (!) Impact makes a bee-line for his former Red Cell team-mate, Momoko, as Toan returns to action after finding his skull’s level of concussion to be on a satisfactory level… whatever that is suppose to mean. The gargantuan Impact Player of FIW grabs the Pink-Haired Demon and Irish whips her to the guardrail as Xanthius gets back to his feet, just as Toan comes around the corner turnbuckle looking for a fight… Even though Tony Clarke has been shouting at everyone to get in the ring and start the match properly for, like, the past… fifteen seconds or so, he doesn’t seem to get much response by the lot who seem to be more interested in throwing fists around the place than wrestling in the ring. So much so, he starting counting them out… [align=center]1…[/align] Toan and Xanthius start trading blows on the outside… punches, forearms, chops… you name them, they’re throwing them. Except kicks… everyone hates kicks. [align=center]2…[/align] Matt Impact drags the pint-sized psychopath in Momoko by the hair around the ring before throwing her in the ring… thus, by the first sensible decision of the match at around the three page mark, Tony Clarke decides to make Impact and Momoko the legal men… and woman. CM: Absolute calamity! CL: What? CM: Nothing, just felt like saying that… Impact drags Momoko back to her feet as she starts fiddling in her boot as she writhes on the ring canvas in (presumed) agony… Matt picks her up effortlessly, given the god-knows-how-many hundreds of pounds weight advantage he has over her before she suddenly springs to life and pokes him in the face out of Tony’s view with- CL: A Letter Opener! Yes, you read that right… one of those mini-sword thingies that you use to open letters. Hence the name… Anyway, she discreetly disposes of the said foreign object as Matt Impact struggles to gain his footing from getting poked in the face by something that really shouldn’t have been in the match in the first place, legally speaking. On the outside, Toan and Xanthius have started doing what I remember about the WWE’s answer to a chaotic fight on the outside… dragging each other around ringside by the hair before slamming their head on the ring apron. But it just so happens that it’s Toan’s head that gets slam-dunked on the apron by Xanthius who capitalises by throwing the Deathmatch Bastard into the ring. JH: Why isn’t Tony Clarke doing something about this mess? CL: He should be fired on the spot! CM: Wait… you’re agreeing with Hitchen?!? CL: No, I just want my brother Carson to get a job here… that’s all. So, yeah… more punching and general nastiness going on with Momoko and her seeming endless supply of weapons from that secret weapon portal hidden she has down her night combat jeans as well as Xanthius putting the beat-down on Toan… so let’s get some actual wrestling done. Matt Impact kicks Momoko, cutting off her offence before just muscling her into a corner turnbuckle as Xanthius picks up the reigning Dual Crown Champion and positions him in the turnbuckle parallel to his former protégé. He unlikely odd couple of Impact and Xanthius whip both their opponents out into the centre of the ring who are lucky enough not to collide, but perhaps inadvertently hook each other’s arms and spin around like they’re dancing to Cotton-Eye Joe before kicking their opponents back into their respective corners with a pair of Dropkicks!! CM: Ole! Toan and Momoko get up and start pounding away on their opponents as Tony Clarke, once again, is having a whale of a time trying to keep order in this contest… though it proves to be much harder as Toan goes to recklessly whip Xanthius out of the corner, but it’s reversed just as Momoko appropriately turns around to get about fifteen stone of an angry Irishman crashing into her. The self-confessed Crimson King falls backwards, clutching at his nose as Momoko fall forwards impacting her head dead in the family jewels of the Moore clan just as Impact falls forwards… leaving us looking at a rather obscene picture. JH: Oh, Lord… CL: I knew it! THAT’S what they got up to in the days of Red Cell!! Xanthius takes one look at the… group gathering and turns to the enigmatic manager of the Dual Crown Champion in LOBO Malvado, passing a quizzical glance at him before just shaking his head and going to sort this mess out… However just as he does, Tony Clarke has already attempted to shoo the “friendly” get together of the former Red Cell Team mates… with some success. Toan rolls out of the ring favouring his groin as Impact stands up, favouring the same region… right about the time Momoko gets up looking as pissed off as ever. She furiously stamps her way back to her feet, looking around like a woman possessed before storming over to her corner and picking up… an electric drill?!? Yep, a Black & Decker… before posing the presumably obvious question. Momoko: WHO THE FUCK WAS TRYING TO HUMP ME??!? And, in cartoonish fashion, everyone points to… Tony Clarke. Cue that red phase-in and out as Tony Clarke gets the proverbial dear-caught-in-a-headlights look in his eyes before the Pink-Haired Demon charges forwards, the electric drill turned on full towards the unfortunate referee. CL: SHE’S SUBCOMING TO FRENZY!!!!! CM: …what, that time of the month? That happens everyday for her, why should today be any different? JH: *whispers* CM: …Masquerade? Momoko’s a vampire?!?? JH: No. That’s just what Conse is referring to. Fighting through his groin related agony, Impact stops her and whips her around, scooping her up and drops her with the Impact Drop! As Toan writhes in pain on the outside Matt goes for the cover and Tony thankfully counts. [align=center]1! 2! 3!!! Ding, ding ding![/align] JH: Matt did it! He won the match! CM: God damn it! MA: Your winners by pin fall…MAAAAAAAAAAAATT IMMMMMMMPAAAAAAAAACT AND XAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTHIUSSSSSSSS! Suddenly rather than Matt’s or Xanthius’ music starting, the ReVoltrons spring to life with an image of the General Manager. It gets quite the mixed reaction from the fans, some cheering the man still, and others showering him in jeers. He ignores them though as he looks down at Matt who is inside the ring. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Congratulations… kssshhhhhk... Matthew on another hard fought…kssshhhhhk... victory, however, I’ll come back to you in a moment…kssshhhhhk... His head tilts away from the self proclaimed Real and looks towards the former and returned Revolution second in command. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Xxxxxxxanthius… kssshhhhhk... So you wish to have the Dual Crown Championship?…kssshhhhhk... You rip them from the grip of Toan?…kssshhhhhk... The crowd cheers for the most part and Xanthius nods his head as Krähe sits in silence for a moment. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Too bad it’ll never happen… kssshhhhhk... as long as I am General Manager of this company…kssshhhhhk... NONE of the former Revolution will get near those championships again…kssshhhhhk... Now the entire arena jeers the enigmatic boss and Toan manages to chuckle maliciously out on the apron as he gets himself back up. It is like Krähe can hear them as his head zeroes in on the reigning FIW Dual Crown Champion. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Toan… kssshhhhhk... for several weeks you tried to power play my authority and act like you were running this place…kssshhhhhk... Thanks to your sheer stupidity Xanthius has been placed in my lap once again…kssshhhhhk... I want you to listen closely and remember this Jason Moore…kssshhhhhk... I ended Scott Draven, and if you do not get in line, I can end you too…kssshhhhhk... Toan’s expression darkens and he grits his teeth, partly because he’s being threatened and partly because Krähe is claiming, in his mind at least, what is his to claim. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... With that in mind, I have an announcement… kssshhhhhk... I’ve lost, to a degree, faith in Prime being able to take the championship off of you…kssshhhhhk... Amongst other reasons his two most recent losses…kssshhhhhk... This is why at Anarchy in the UK it will not just be Toan and Prime in the ring…kssshhhhhk... Matt Impact will be there too…kssshhhhhk... This is the sort of news the fans like to hear, cheering wildly and a small smirk pops onto Matt’s face from this news too. FIW’s General Manager pauses for a moment, looking like he might be trying to hold back vomit or some thing similar. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... But, that is not all… kssshhhhhk... there is another…kssshhhhhk... this match is now an elimination…kssshhhhhk... fatal four way for the Dual Crown Championship, between it’s champion Toan…kssshhhhhk... His number one contender Prime and the Real Wrestling Experience, Matt Impact and…kssshhhhhk... A man Toan has never beaten in a championship situation…kssshhhhhk... XTREME KITTEN!... kssshhhhhk... Impact frowns lightly upon hearing this news and Toan looks absolutely livid at the fact Xtreme Kitten of all people is in the match. Mean while the small amount of old Slam fans in the audience cheer on this announcement for the feline fighter. Krähe: kssshhhhhk... I wish all of you… kssshhhhhk... the best of luck…kssshhhhhk... in this match…kssshhhhhk... yes, even you, Toan…kssshhhhhk... Good bye gentlemen…kssshhhhhk... That said the ReVoltrons fade to black as the wrestlers stand in the ring, each one reacting in their different way to this announcement. JH: Oh my god! It’ll be a fatal four way elimination match now for the Dual Cro- CM: Xtreme Kitten’s in the Dual Crown match! Xtreme Kitten’s in the Dual Crown match! This is the happiest day of my life! CL: Fucking bullshit what he said about Xanthius though, well folks, we are all out of time, for Hitchen and Chip, I’m Constance, we’ll see you right here next week, you wouldn’t FUCKING DARE miss it!
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2:15 PM Jul 11