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PPV or SLA Event... guess which I picked?; March 26th, 2007
Topic Started: Mar 27 2007, 03:06 AM (138 Views)
Minister Wighty
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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Pro Wrestling Outsider's South London Allied Wrestling Review

Yeah, you can tell by the heading that I was in Wales until noon today, and I napped straight through tonights SLA event. Sucks to be me, I guess. Fortunately a buddy of mine who managed to go gave me a lowdown, so I'll still try to keep you folks across the pond informed as to what's going on.

Jaime Lee vs. C.W. Davies
I know, I'm thinking the same thing you are. Wasn't this a fatal four-way? Well story goes that apparently Synn was detained after a few folks in the crowd called him a Swytch rip-off and he tried to... I dunno, eat their souls or something. And Marcus Helix just plain didn't show.

Oh well. My buddy said the match was great, but from his review his eyes spent most of their time glued to Jaime Lee's buttocks. Lee and Davies really went toe-to-toe in an even match, Jaime finally getting the upper hand and nailing an arm wrench leg hook DDT. I'm a big Jaime Lee fan, so I hope she manages to either stick around or get pulled up to FIW's main roster.

Liam Mortell vs. Bob Mitchell

Oh, shit. My mate said this one was a SLAUGHTER. Liam just RELENTLESSLY pounded on the big retard like he was his own personal punching bag. I hear he got a little offense in, but Liam Mortell REALLY brought his A-game. I haven't seen (well, heard of) such an impressive victory in such a long time I wouldn't be surprised if we'd be seeing him move to the main roster soon.

Mark Walker and Jack Walker vs. Anime Guy and Graham T. Poindexter

It's good to see less of the freakshow teams are sticking around in this event. My good friend said the Walker boys (or Boyz if you're somehow reading this in the mid-90s) owned the nerds pretty fairly. They seem like really talented guys from what he was telling me. Good tactics and a mindset like they've trained together. I hope they wrestle again next week; I'd love to see them.

Carson Rayne vs. Scorpion

I can't say I really like Carson Rayne. I caught his promo earlier in the week and I wasn't too impressed. But that apparently doesn't matter when you're facing Scorpion. This guy's like Squirrel Girl in reverse; he can't HELP but be defeated. An inverted Russian leg sweep/cobra clutch type thing ended the match and saw Rayne a victory. My pal said he saw Scorpion later signing a few autographs and he looked pretty torn up about his second straight loss in SLA.

Team GATITO vs. Main Event Napalm

I could kill someone purely for the simple fact that I missed Mr. Hardcore's return to professional wrestling! I have GOT to make that show next time! My friend who DID make it said the Gatitos were making quick work of Manny and Fernando, just out-skilling them and keeping on hot tags and such. Then there's a quadruple knockdown, and both members of each team are CRAWLING for their third partners! Mr. Hardcore gets tagged in and busts into the ring like Hulkamania about to RUN WILD all over someone, but for as much as he beats on Negro and Delirante, once they tag the fresher Chupacabra back in it's split city. He clamps on this side headlock and it's like some sort of holy nun ear pinch. Hardcore goes down like a sack of flour. My friend said he actually heard Hardcore SNORING, but I'm not sure how true that is. Gatitos get a victory via knockout. Good for them, they should be in line for a tag trophy shot soon.

CHAMPION VS. CHAMPION MATCH: Tim Topp vs. The Cock

According to my pal, the Cock was SERIOUSLY not on his game here. Compared to the speed and agility he showed off last time, he was really dragging this time around. Must've been... jet lag or something.

*ahem* Anyhow, Tim Topp was up to his usual antics, outwitting and outfighting The Cock to get the pin and affirm why he's the holder of the Medal of Accolades and why The Cock needs a whole tag team to sustain him with his title.

The Final Word: A lot of roster shifts have happened since SLA started a short month ago. I'm looking forward to seeing what they put together for the future, but for now I'll just do my best to try and catch the next event. Wouldn't want to let you guys down. Plus I've GOT to see Mr. Hardcore in action.
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