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Latest SLA Event Review!; April 9th! Happy Easter!
Topic Started: Apr 10 2007, 04:30 AM (138 Views)
Minister Wighty
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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Pro Wrestling Outsider's South London Allied Wrestling Review

Oh how I wish this post could continue with its usual format of lengthy, descriptive results, but I've just recently acquired a new project. Never fear; the last thing I would do is forsake this federation and the reviewing thereof. So I bring to you this week's review.

Candy Man vs. La Lesbiana Fantastica

The show started with this match, which confused me since El Mysterioso versus Marcus Helix was teased on their site. Ah well. Decent, even match. The two worked REALLY well off of one another, to the point where I could SWEAR I've seen La Lesbiana's style somewhere before. Somewhere besides GAWD, that is... anyhow, La Lesbiana finished the match by distracting Candy Man with a swivel of the hips, then flattens him with Total Pwnage! She gets the three, and he gets the treat of having her teats on his chest. Nice.

Fury Championship Match: Jack Walker vs. Jaime Lee vs. Carson Rayne vs. Adam Wilson

Haven't heard too much on Jack Walker's part, but everyone else involved was damned voiciferous this week. Great entertainment, I think the vids are still at the SLA.com archives if you're all interested. Anyway, the match. Jack Walker went after Jaime Lee not long after she and Adam Wilson exchanged a flirty, faraway look. It wasn't too long after that that Carson Rayne tried to capitalize, either. Jaime eventually managed to take Walker over the top rope with a Cactus Clothesline that left the ring to Carson and Adam. Carson's an impressive athelete and actually had Adam Wilson running for his money, or whatever the hell the phrase would sound like in that tense... but then Jaime Lee came in with Jack Walker's surfboard and BRAINED Rayne with it! She gave Wilson the gift of the pin, and after he got the three, the two celerbated with a post-match hug. Awwww!

Here there was a dandy break in the action to show us a live video on the 'tron of some backstage goings-on. Apparently The Scorpion was beseeching Main Event Napalm to allow him to join their group. Main Event Napalm accepted, and the four made an in-your-face promo about how they were going to redefine manliness and bring it to SLA! Sounds good. More Mr. Hardcore is sexy.

Team GATITO vs. The Seven

Can you say squash? Because I can. I start with my teeth clenched together, click my throat muscles, make sort of a kissy-mouth then open it wide, then gnash my teeth together. All while making noise. Should work. Thats' what this match was. Fucking RIDICULOUS. Team GATITO has never been more off their game. Well, I suppose it would help if Mr. Green had let Negro tap out after those two finally got into the ring. Mr. Green hit his finisher and the rest of the Seven held the rest of Team GATITO at bay. A quick finish, I suppose, not a squash. Cerebro would've OWNED if he had gotten much ringtime. Next time, gadget. Next time. For now the Seven retain.

MAIN EVENT: Black Thom vs. Tim Topp

This Black Thom guy is like Brock Lesnar on crack, and we all know that I love Tim Topp. This match was crazy. Tim drank, like, three pints on his way down to the ring. Inisde the ring Thom just MAULED Topp until Topp managed to get a GREAT (if not accidental) drop toehold in on Thom. This let him get some damn nice shots in showing why the champ is the champ. When he's not owned by fear of Thom's... y'know, crushing capabilities... he kicked some ass. Thom managed to turn the tables, though, OBLITERATING Topp with the Black Bomb. Pinfall, winfall. I reckon this means a title shot next event? Hmmmm...

The Final Word: Great show this week, some really fantastic stuff from this week's competitors. Great backstage stuff, great in-ring stuff. I love South London Allied wrestling! Gotta tell ya, I'm totally there next event.
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