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ReVolt; 06-08-07
Topic Started: Jun 9 2007, 05:15 AM (214 Views)
Minister Wighty
Member Avatar
Opossum Queen of FIW
Admin
[align=center]The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal

With the bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal 'cuz

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fuckin' minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

la la la oo~oh la la la oo~oh la la la oo~oh

The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal

With the bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal 'cuz

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fuckin' minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I don't find it funny right now
Right now
I want my m-m-m-money right now
Now
I'm on my way to the party right now
Right now

I don't find it funny right now
Right now
I want my m-m-m-money right now
Now
I'm on my way to the party right now
Right now

Because the break
The break
THE BREAK

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.
[/align]

Quote:
 
[align=center]Posted Image[/align]


[align=center]Copyright 2007, Full Intensity Wrestling in associate with Sporkco. Studios[/align]
[align=center]Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image[/align]
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Minister Wighty
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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JH: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to FIW's ReVolt broadcast this week, on our new Friday night slot!

CL: Buried in the depths of Friday Night Hell. We'll be like SmackDown! soon, I reckon. With boogeymen and kings running about.

JH: What the hell are you talking about Conse, have you seen the card for tonight?

CM: You mean like the pointless opener of the evening that's beginning?

JH: We’re about to see two of the best high-flyer up and comers in FIW, that’s not…

CL: All that interesting? Yes we know.

The trumpets blast as "Get It Up" begins on the PA system. Shaun steps from the back and stops in front of the steps and takes a knee. Blue pyro fires from the ReVoltrons to the roof of the arena. He hops up to his feet and heads down the stairs to the ring.

MA: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is the opening match of the evening, first hailing from Houston, Texas and weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds… SSHAUUNNN WWWIIILLLLSSSOOONNNN!!!!

He talks trash and taunts the crowd as he bounces to the ring. He runs up the stairs and climbs through the ropes. He climbs the middle turnbuckle and talks more trash to the crowd, he then raises both arms in the air. He jumps down and snatches off his hoodie tossing it out of the ring as he stretches.

CM: The bad-ass who wasn’t.

CL: Kind of like you, just least this guy performs stuff I find vaguely interesting.

JH: His temper has landed hi in trouble, but there’s no doubting his ability.

CM: Jonathon, Jonathon, I doubt everything you idiot.

The arena’s lights fade to a dim darkness as “Becoming Insane” begins it’s steady techno beat, as it does red and white lights swirl around the arena until a big cheer is heard as from the entrance curtains jumps Justin Insane. He’s bouncing around to the beat as it kicks itself into overdrive and Justin jumps the steps and then runs towards the ring with super speed, sliding in to the ring, he slides to the other side just by the ropes and stands to a big pop from the crowd…

MA: Weighing in at one hundred and ninety two pounds… coming from Insaneville… he is the Insane Luchador! JUSTTTIIIIIINNNNNNNN SANNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

…As he hears the announcement he Hulk Hogan like rips the t-shirt from his body, then bounces up and down on the ropes in a fashion of a hyper-active person, really getting pumped as well as the fans before going to his respective corner and sitting down, awaiting the match to commence.

JH: The exciting debut of Justin Sane.

CL: You’re an idiot, it’s Simon Lynn and you know it.

JH: I haven’t had chance to see the proof and besides either way it’s a fresh new wrestler.

CM: Whole new perspective to “fresh” then.

As the crowd buzzes a bit we see that both Justin and Shaun look set to go before they begin circling the ring as J.J calls for the bell and it sounds. Justin and Shaun begin to circle the ring more before a elbow and collar tie-up is insinuated and both tussle for power, as Shaun gets the advantage with a hammerlock, into a headlock, wrenching away with it as he does Justin tries to lift him up but Shaun squeezes at his head, making him drop him back to his feet. This carries on for a while as both tussle for the power until Justin lifts him up with force and drops him down, but Shaun flips over onto his feet and as Justin turns gets a boot to the gut.

CL: Wow, that‘s unbelievably bland.

JH: Oh come on give them chance.

CM: 3...2...1, chance? Nah still crap, come on end it already.

JH: It’s only been going a minute and a half.

CL: WWE’s matches last less then 4 minutes.

Shaun then grabs the doubled over Justin and lifts him up into a vertical suplex, but Justin shifts coming down and as he does so grabs Shaun’s head in a reverse chancery, dropping with some velocity over his knee also. Justin though doesn’t wait long as he looks towards Shaun, stands back before running to the rope, hand standing then rolling over him with as flip senton, as he rolls up he sticks his tongue out to the crowd that gets a weird but usual cheer. Not leaving that at that Justin then awaits for Shaun to stand, as he does he quickly moves over to him and grabs him in a standing Headscissors, but Shaun uses his strength advantage and lifts him up and turns him inside out in a schwein position, before running and DRIVING! Justin into the canvas, making the cover…

[align=center]ONE…

…TWO…

NO SHOULDER UP!!!!
[/align]

JH: Oh, close call there.

CL: Why kick out? Simon come on man, lose for Elrick, it won’t hurt him.

Shaun looking frustrated seems content now as he calls for the end, picking up Justin, but Justin pushes him off before firing some forearms into his face, finally ending it with a enziguiri to the back of the head, Shaun staggers to the corner where Justin moves to the corner diagonal from him and charges as he’s doing so screaming at a ungodly high pitch as he connects with a lariat taking Shaun down to the canvas, as Shaun drops though Justin jumps, connects his feet’s with the ropes and comes down across him with a split-legged moonsault but unusually doesn’t make the cover instead gets to his feet and signals for the end himself…

CL: That‘s it, end it, good boy..

JH: He‘s not a dog.

CM: That’s a argument for time to tell, not you.

Simon stands, awaiting Shaun to stand as he does Simon spins his hands around as he boots the turned around Shaun in his gut doubling him over before the under hooking his hands, before out of nowhere leaping up, leaning back before flipping forward with a Piledriver, crashing Shaun’s skull right into the canvas with a double underhook sunset driver! Justin then moves over and keeps the move in lock, making a pin cover…

CL: Damn! Ok, maybe he’s improved a little bit.

JH: THAT’S INSANE!

[align=center]ONE…

…TWO…

THREE!!!!
[/align]

The crowd cheer in joy s Justin hops to his feet and grins too, after a winning debut he raises his hands as “Becoming Insane” hit’s the PA system…

MA: Your winner! Via pinfall… The Insane Luchador! JUSTTTIIIIIINNNNNNNN SANNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Justin then makes his leave from the ring high fiving some fans as as he disappears backstage as Shaun sits up, looking quite annoyed by his loss.

CM: Well, at least the next match is sure to please!

JH: Indeed! The debut of a new division in FIW--

CL: And it's a HORRORCORE DIVISION!

CM: I was talking about bosoms. But you guys can be all queer for wrestling, that's fine.

As "Lose Control" by Evanescence turns on our normal closed gates at the entrance of our stage is open. Long black mesh looking material is draped around the gates. From the back exits our very own Zesboca Devani with a loose black scarf that almost matches the material on the gates. She twirls the material around her body doing a simple start of a belly dance for the crowd. She slides across the stage grabbing a hold of the material on the gates. As she dances and slides across the floor she pulls the material with her. The last bit of the material is yanked down and left on the floor a long with her scarf. She stands at the end of the stage above the steps staring at the crowd.

[align=center]"Just once in my life,
I think it'd be nice,
Just to lose control, just once,
With all the pretty flowers in the dust."[/align]

MA: The following Hellcat Contest is scheduled for one fall and will be contested under Horrorcore Rules! Introducing first, hailing from Cario, Egypt… ZESBOCA DEVANI!!!

Zesboca shakes her lower half with the rhythm of the song. Not taking the steps she jumps straight down from the stage. She spins dipping her body a little with her. Zesboca smirks and makes her way to the squared circle. She touches a few hands along the way mainly to the men that are rooting for her. Again she doesn't take the steps and slip in between the last rope and the ring. Rolling up she greets the crowd by hanging on to the ropes and not the turnbuckles.

JH: Time for our Hellcats to lock up for the first time within our new Hellcats division.

CM: Yep. I can tell this division is going to be right up my alley.

CL: I just pray to Cthulhu that they don’t trash the good name of horrorcore with watered-down T and A.

CM: There’s nothing wrong with T and A. Throw in some water and it’s a hot summer night.


[align=center]I’ve got the stuff that you want
I’ve got the things that you need
I’ve got more than enough
To make you drop to your knees
‘Cuz I’m the queen of the night
The queen of the night
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
[/align]
As “Queen of the Night” by Kelly Clarkson pounds through the speakers, Jaime Lee skips out onto the stage to a round of cheers from the crowd. She backpedals slightly, hand on her chest as she gazes out with amazement at the jam-packed arena. She hurries down the stairs, skipping her way towards the ring, letting the crowd capture her attention more than they probably should.

MA: Making her way to the ring from Aurora, Ohio… JAAAYYYYMMMMMEEEE LLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Jaime slides in underneath the bottom rope, using the middle rope to pull herself up to her feet. She bounces across the ring, jumping up to the second turnbuckle and pumping a fist into the air. She leaps down to the canvas and backs into her corner, psyching herself up for the contest.

JH: Jaime making her return to FIW here tonight. I’m excited to see what she has for us.

CL: Is it really a return if you did nothing the first time around?

JH: Technically? Yes.

CM: Oh yeah. Bounce, Jaime. Bounce. I’m liking this match already.

DING-DING

The bell sounds and the Fuzz signals for the girls to go on at it. Both hesitate, however, cautiously approaching one another. Seemingly having the same thought they both rush one another, locking up in a collar and elbow tie-up. Neither woman gives up any ground, pushing and pulling like two bulls locked up. They rip apart, glaring across the ring at one another.

JH: Zesboca said she isn’t going to be Jaime’s friend. It’s looking like she hasn’t changed her mind any.

CL: Graver, like what he did or not, put Zesboca in a good frame of mind. Hopefully she uses it to her advantage.

CM: Zessy’s a former Flycore contender. She isn’t going to need much advantage here against Miss Hee-Haw Champion from What Would Jesus Do Federation.

Their little stare down comes to an end with both circling each other in the ring. They move in for another tie-up but Zesboca ducks under, wringing Jaime’s arm in the process. Before Jaime can come up with a counter, Zesboca whips Jaime into the far corner. Zesboca runs in… to a reverse elbow from Jaime. Refusing to accept that, Zesboca tries once again to rush Jaime, only to find herself caught in a headscissors. Jaime whips herself out of the corner, throwing Zesboca across the ring with a hurracanrana!

JH: Impressive hurracanrana from Jaime, getting herself out of the corner there.

CM: Sexy hurracanrana. I saw up her skirt when she did that.

CL: It was cool for what it was but it wasn’t all that.

Both girls get to their feet, Jaime there a split second sooner to throw a low dropkick at a rising Zesboca. Zessy either senses it or is quick enough on her feet to swap Jaime’s away! Jaime gets up to her hands and knees only for Zesboca to rush in with a straight kick upside Jaime’s face! Jaime spirals along the mat, Zesboca staying on her prey and leaping up into the air, dropping a knee across Jaime’s back!

CM: There the bad kitty is. Chip likes it rough.

JH: Zesboca showing a bit of that mean streak you alluded to Conse.

CL: She said she wants to be at the top of this division. This is the kind of attitude it’s gonna take. She can thank Graver if she gets the victory.

Zesboca drags Jaime up to her feet, lifting the woman up across her shoulders. She steps around the ring with the smaller woman, calling for the end. She throws Jaime over with a fireman’s carry-- no, Jaime wiggles out of the hold, landing behind Zesboca. Zessy spins around, catching a shuffle side kick right between the eyes!

CM: Ouch!

JH: Straight kick to the face from Jaime there. Laid Zesboca out with just that one kick.

CL: A little harder and she might’ve knocked a tooth out. Then I would have cared a little, maybe.

Jaime allows a moment to catch her breath from Zesboca’s assault, but finds the former Flycore contender attempting to reclaim her feet. Jaime thwacks Zesboca in the ribs with a hard side kick, prompting her to get to both feet quicker. Jaime quickly follows it up with a hard kick to Zessy’s other side. Zessy grabs her side and lowers her head, only to receive a soccer kick to the face, snapping her head back! Jaime spins backwards, catching Zessy under the chin with a back roundhouse that levels her opponent!

JH: Another hard kick from Jaime. Impressive footwork there. She’s been training in that style lately. I see it’s paying off.

CM: That spinny backwards kick was cute.

CL: She couldn’t even see Zesboca and still caught her right under the chin. That was either luck or precision.

Jaime hesitates a moment, taking in the crowd’s appreciation of her fancy footwork. She drops down to the canvas, covering Zessy with a lateral press and hooking the leg.


[align=center]One!


Two!!


Kick-out!!!
[/align]


JH: Luck or precision, it scored her a near fall. The first of the contest.

Jaime takes another moment to catch her breath, visibly surprised by Zesboca’s resilience. She climbs to her feet, dragging Zessy up with her. Zessy grabs a hold of Jaime, fighting back with a jawbreaker! She follows it up by grabbing Jaime by the hair and sitting out, driving Jaime face-first into the canvas!

JH: A facebuster puts Jaime down!

CL: Zesboca’s got the advantage over Jaime. She’s been wrestling every week here in FIW. Jaime might be adjusting to getting back into the game.

CM: I wouldn’t mind getting into either of their games.

Zessy wastes no time in throwing Jaime onto her back and making the cover!


[align=center]One!


Two!!


Kick out!!!
[/align]


Zesboca accepts the kick-out with no arguments, grabbing Jaime by the hair and opening up on her with a flurry of straight right hands to the face! She gets to her feet, dragging Jaime up by the hair and gets a reprimand from the Fuzz. Zessy ignores the admonishment and blasts Jaime with a forearm shot to the face! Jaime backpedals a step from the blow, ducks a roundhouse kick and leaps over a sweep that follows it!

JH: Now Zesboca trying her footwork but Jaime appears to be ready for it. Perhaps having studied up on Zessy?

CL: If she’s smart, that’s exactly what she did.

Jaime buries her boot in Zesboca’s midsection and whips her into the far corner! No, Zessy counters and whips Jaime into the corner. Zesboca rushes in but finds herself in the same predicament as earlier, with Jaime’s legs wrapped around her neck. Zesboca plants her feet, refusing to fall for that move twice in the same night. Jaime pulls herself along the ropes and flips backwards!

JH: Another hurracanrana! And Zessy was just dumped from the ring!

Zesboca falls to ringside with a splat and Jaime holds onto the top rope, landing safely on the apron. Zessy reclaims her footing as quickly as she can but Jaime pounces on her with a flying Lou Thesz from the apron!

CL: CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!

CL: Oy! A Lou Thesz is hardly a catfight. I haven’t seen any hair-pulling or eye gouging yet. And that’s a good thing… unless they’re pulling hair out and ripping eyes out of the sockets.

JH: Eww. I think you need therapy.

CL: Says the 30-year-old still living with his mother. I’ll thank you to keep your judgments to yourself.

Jaime pulls Zesboca back up only to get her eyes raked! Zessy grabs Jaime by the back of her shirt and back of her skirt, running her along ringside and throwing her over the barricade! Jamie clatters into the front row, dazed and confuse as Zesboca returns to the ring. She flips the apron up and begins digging around for some goodies to bring into this Horrorcore contest. She digs around until she finds what she was looking for… a light tube.

CL: Oh yeah. Now this horrorcore bitch can get started.

JH: A light tube from Zesboca. One of the weapons used in her match with Graver at Deadlock. I’m sure that’s not a coincidence.

CM: As hot as she is, I don‘t like that look in her eyes.

Zesboca grins with delight, slowing turning to find Jaime crawling over the audience barricade. Jaime’s eyes widen at the sight for the weapon in Zesboca’s hand and slowly backs around the ring, keeping her unscathed flesh from the smashable. Zessy wields it like a baseball bat and gives chase. She swings wildly at Jaime, a dangerous glint in her eyes. Jaime ducks at the last possible second, the light tube shattering on the ring post.

CL: *sigh* What a waste.

Jaime raises up with a knee to Zesboca’s midsection, causing her to release the remnants of the light tube. Jaime grabs Zesboca by the head and slams her face against the apron before tossing her back into the ring. Jaime throws the ring apron up, deciding it’s time she brought weapons into this contest.

CL: Ooh. Perhaps this kitten has claws too.

CM: I like claws. Naughty kitty.

JH: Ugh. I have two grown men nearly getting their rocks off during a match. When did we become the WWE?

After much digging around, she opts for a very simple (yet effective) steel chair. She begins to climb back into the ring but Zesboca is already up and aware of Jaime’s plot. She runs full speed, dropkicking the chair into Jaime’s face with a baseball slide!

CL: BLOOD!

JH: No go. Sorry, Conse. Put it back in your pants.

CL: Then what would you look at during the match?

Zessy slides from the ring, stomping down on Jaime to keep her grounded a couple moments longer. Why? Because Zesboca digs back under the ring for some more treats to throw into this contest. What she finds gets a big response from the crowd.

CM: Hehe. Zessy’s got some wood.

JH: Don’t say anymore. Just shut it.

CL: Another weapon that played a part in Zesboca’s demise at Deadlock. And I only offered his information because I know Hitchen was dying to mark out about it.

She throws the table in under the bottom rope and gives Jaime another boot before lifting her off the ground and throwing her into the ring. Zesboca climbs back into the ring and quickly sets the table up before returning her attention to her downed opponent. She lifts Jaime up and throws her face first into the turnbuckle. Zessy quickly exit’s the ring and walks the apron to the turnbuckle, quickly climbing to the top. She takes a seat, pulling Jaime up to blast her with a right hand but holds her in place by her hair.

JH: What the hell is Zessy doing here?

More reprimanding from the Fuzz goes unheard as Zessy executes her horrorcore plans by dragging Jaime up the turnbuckle. She uses all her remaining strength to flip Jaime up onto her shoulders.

CM: Powerbomb from the top rope! Drill her, Zessy!

CL: You read chicks with dong magazines, don’t you? You disgust me.

Jaime fights back, blasting Zessy with a couple right hands. Jaime drops down onto Zessy’s lap, continuing her strike fest from their perched position on the top turnbuckle. Zessy refuses to go down with a fight, firing back with some right hands of her own. The two teeter back and forth, throwing straight right hands upside the other’s head until their balance is lost-- BOTH GIRLS FALLING FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND CLATTERING DANGEROUSLY TO THE FLOOR BELOW!!!

CL: Holy shit!

JH: GOOD SWEET CHRIST!

CM: Ooh. Look at ‘em writhe. Writhe Jaime. Writhe Zessy. Mmmm.

Slowly but surely both drag themselves up, a little worse for wear from the fall. Jaime makes it into the ring first but Zessy is just seconds behind her. She grabs Jaime by the hair, yanking her back into an inverted facelock. Zessy drops down to one knee, breaking Jaime’s back over her knee!

JH: Reverse DDT backbreaker. But it looks like Zesboca has more planned.

CM: She’s gonna tie up loose ends.

Zessy throws Jaime’s limp body on the table still sat up in the ring. She calls for the end, quickly moving to the turnbuckle. She climbs to the top, raising both arms into the air before LEAPING OFF WITH A SENTON SPLASH… that gets nothing but table!

JH: Nothing but wood for Zesboca!

CM: Heh heh. Zessy gets wood.

CL: Twice Zesboca’s felt what it’s like to crash through one of those tables. She should be getting used to it.

Jaime stumbles to her feet, back into the ropes and hooking her arm over the top cord to remain standing. She shakes her head clear before moving towards Zessy’s writhing form, pulling her up by an arm only to apply an arm wringer. Jaime hooks her leg over Zessy’s arm, grabbing her up in a front facelock and gives a blood curdling scream as she DRILLS ZESSY INTO THE CANVAS WITH A DDT!

JH: BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR! Right into the shattered remains of the table!

CL: I have to admit, that is a sexalicious DDT.

CM: I love hearing her scream. I love making women scream.

Jaime doesn’t hesitate before making a cover this time, hooking Zessy’s far leg and grapevining the near one.


[align=center]ONE!


TWO!!


THREE!!!




DING-DING-DING!!!!
[/align]


MA: Here is your winner… JJJJAAAAAYYYYYYMMMMMEEEEE LLLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Jaime raises to her feet, grinning happily as the Fuzz raises her arm in victory. She rushes the nearest turnbuckle, raising both arms victoriously as Fuzz checks on the down Zesboca.

JH: So Jaime picks up a victory on her return.

CL: And over a former Flycore contender at that. I’ll give her props for that, but next time she runs from a light tube, her ass is grass.

CM: I happen to like watching her run.

JH: We get it, Chip. You’re desperately horny. Let’s move on to a men’s match so you can stop waxing it under the table.
[align=center]Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image[/align]
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Minister Wighty
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CL: More high-flying people, do people nowadays just wrestle?

JH: Why are you so brooding today?

CM: His wife was too busy with me last night to give him any.

CL: Too busy what? Asking what the fuck you are?

-The Screen turns blue as an electric tone plays, halfway between the sound of a substation and overflying aircraft, when the screen flashes-
NO WORDS
-the tone oscillating and gaining pitch before-
CAN DESCRIBE
-shattered by a dischordant but rhythmic guitar chord with an overlying drum beat that makes it visceral in it's intensity...-

Phyllis enters, a few wisps of smoke trailing behind him as his overcoat likewise spills outside, revealing the redness within... The sweat is visible on his forehead and black mesh suit...

He allows his fingers to trail the edge of the hands that reach from the crowd, but his eyes never leave the ring... there is something Manic within them, their stare too wide, unblinking, his breath uncommonly quick, a suggestion in both his manner and posture that suggesting frightening intensity... As he gets closer to the ring his agitation increases...

-The Hypnotic guitar riff plays on as an undertone evolves, seething beneath the surface and gaining urgency...-

Phyllis circles the ring, his pace quickening, his aggitation and enthusiam mirroring the change in the music... He suddenly darts for the ring, sliding the ropes and running at the turnbuckle-

MA: The following match is scheduled for one fall, first hailing from the grave and weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds… PHYLLLIIISSSSSSSS BATTTHHHOORYYYY!!!!

-The undertone quickly becomes an overtone, dwarfing the original riff as inhuman howls match it with almost human words...-

Phylis runs up the ropes...

-the screen bursts into flames-

Phyllis tears off the Caple-like overcoat and snarls at the crowd...

-Humanesque shadows writhe in the flames as pitiful alien noises play accross the crackling of the fire... both sound and sight on the screen slowly fading to nothingness...-

After a few moments Phyllis leaps off the ropes and into the middle of the ring, twitching energetically as he waits for his opponent...

JH: He’s starting to grow on me is this guy.

CM: Really? Would explain why your hiding your crotch.

CL: And why would you be looking down there?

JH: Yeah, and I meant his style and behavior.

The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song.

Man: “Ladies and gentlemen please…Would you bring your attention to me?”

As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song.

Man: “For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.”

At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance.

Man: “Like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Watch closely as I open this door. Your jaws will be on the floor. After this you’ll be begging for more.”

The man then pulls both doors open and the lights behind the glass dim down as two large spot lights focus in on the entrance and he quickly exits the stage as Ethan Adams clad in his entrance robe is revealed. The superstar steps out onto the concrete stage holding his arms out to his side as the song kicks in.

[align=center] Welcome to the show
Please come inside
Ladies and gentlemen
[/align]

Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps as he tears his robe off and throws it into the crowd with a thunderous approval from the crowd. One lucky fan sitting isle side grabs the robe as Ethan makes his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring.

[align=center]Boom
Do you want it?
Boom
Do you need it?
Boom
Let me hear it
Ladies and gentlemen
[/align]

As Ethan approaches the ring several flash bulbs light up his muscular body as ringside fans snap photos. He then turns to the edge of the ring and leaps up onto the ring apron catching himself with the top ropes.

MA: “Now entering the ring from Beverly Hills, California and weighs in at 211 pounds…..’The First Wonder of the World’ Ethan Adams!!!”

[align=center]Boom
Do you want it?
Boom
Do you need it?
[/align]

Adams then sling shots himself over the ropes flipping over and landing on his feet inside the ring as the crowd applauds him and his music dies down and he moves into his corner and stretches while awaiting the match to begin.

CL: Phyllis is strong favorite tonight easily.

JH: Ethan’s eager to prove himself so don’t knock him yet.

CM: Yah, knock him when he’s broke a leg from jumping around like a deranged Monkey.

As Michaela Menendez calls for the bell, the two men begin circling the ring, Ethan looking more ready to go then Phyllis but the bell indeed sounds and that changes on instance as they go at each other, but Phyllis isn’t gonna out wrestle him as he drives a knee into Ethan’s gut, then clubs him over the back before grabbing him in as front facelock and wrenches away at it. Ethan though thinking quick and wisely, moved in and grabbed Phyllis by the waste before snapping him over with a northern lights suplex, bringing Phyllis to a shock…

[align=center]ONE…

SHOULDER UP!!!!
[/align]

JH: That was close, Phyllis was off his game then obviously.

CL: Ethan was cheating, fucker’s been taking drugs anyways.

Phyllis and Ethan both stands and quickly turn, but Phyllis is first top react with a thumb to the eye making Ethan back up, which causes Phyllis to dropkick him backwards into the corner area, he then approaches and begins to strike away with some punches to Ethan’s gut before kneeing him in the mid section, continuing it until Ethan drops into a seated position. Phyllis then backs up as he seems ready to go for his finisher already but as he comes charging, Ethan kips up and then springs forward with a leaping leg lariat, tasking Phyllis down on his back quickly as Ethan ands and grins towards a female within the crowd before standing up and looking towards Phyllis.

CL: Where he come from?

JH: Ethan’s attack needs to be like that, out of nowhere is best.

CM: Kind of like you…

JH: Shut up?

Ethan stomps on him before climbing to the top rope as he awaits Phyllis to stand up, he then awaits Phyllis to stand up before he leaps off, but Phyllis sees it coming and drives a punch to his gut, making him double over as he lands on the canvas, Phyllis then charges to the ropes comes back and NAILS! Ethan right in the face with a boot, making Ethan drop to the canvas on impact, Phyllis then looks to Ethan and boots him in the head before leaping up and coming down with a double stomp cementing the impact of the maneuver.

JH: Phyllis becoming highly dominant.

CM: Well quicker it’s over, quicker we get to a good match, you know.

JH: Why do you do this job? All this is good, your just blind by your ego.

CM: Oh the pain, that hurt Jonathon… idiot.

Phyllis stands back as Ethan begins to climb to his feet holding his jaw, as he turns Phyllis come sin with some punches, really thumping him before Ethan reverse’s and fires some of his own, pushing him to the ropes before Irish whipping him as he does Ethan lifts him up on his return and as he drops connects with a cutter, killing both men’s momentum as the crowd now seem interested in the match more so.

JH: Out of nowhere, damn.

As both men begin to crawl to there feet, Phyllis is to his feet first, as he’s up, Ethan is up to and he charges at Phyllis, but Phyllis sees it coming hitting with s straight punch to his face. Phyllis picks up Ethan from the canvas and throws him to the corner once again, he then runs and lariat’s him making him drop to his ass as Phyllis signals for the end of the match already, moving his knee pad down quickly, he then charges and DRIVES! His knee into Ethan’s chest making Ethan roll from the corner clutching his chest as Phyllis then makes the cover quickly…

CL: Stake to the heart, now it’s over.

JH: Yeah, guess it was good while it lasted.

[align=center]ONE…

…TWO…

THREE!!!!
[/align]

Phyllis stands up quickly knowing he won, he then looks to the crowd as he looks then at Ethan who’s clutching his chest still…

MA: Your winner! Via pinfall! PHYLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIS BBBAAATTHHHOOORRYYY!!!!

…As it’s announced Phyllis then sprints out of the ring watching him is everyone amused by his behavior as Ethan sits dup looking towards Michaela as he clutches his chest.

[align=center]-=COMMERCIAL BREAK=-[/align]

JH: Welcome back, folks; we've got quite the match coming up!

As the opening sirens to Hadouken’s “That Boy That Girl” hit the speakers the arena is plunged into darkness. Bright yellow strobes begin to randomly search the auditorium but we all know where they’re going to land. As the vocals kick in the strobes group together on the entrance and illuminate the world’s greatest Australian luchadora, La Lesbiana Fantascia!

MA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a HELLCAT DIVISON match scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, from somewhere along the Australian/Mexican border… Laaaa Lesbianaaaa… FannnnTASSSTICAAAAA!!!

She appears with one arm thrust into the air to roaring cheers from the FIW crowd. With the arena still blacked out and only the strobes bringing any light to the proceedings, Lesbiana skips down the steps and bounces her way along the aisle. Upon reaching the ring she climbs up onto the apron and heads for the nearest turnbuckle, which she quickly scales and throws her arms up to yet more cheers. She leaps over the ropes and pelts across the ring to the opposite turnbuckles, climbing them in a split second and repeating the performance.

CM: I think I just made a fantastica in my pants.

CL: That doesn’t even make sense. I hate you.

JH: Can I hate him too?

CL: No, that might make you cool.

As she drops back into the ring the lights come back up and the music slowly fades, and the lucahdora extraordinaire awaits the beginning of her match. The eerie opening tunes of Vamp’s theme song hits on the PA system…

CL: Wow, check this out. Sure are a lot of paragraph breaks in this entrance.

Vamp walks threw the stage curtains with her ghoulish companion, Libussa The Defiled, at her side and looks out apathetically to the people in attendance...

MA: And her opponent! From Central Romania… VVVVVVAMP~!

She exhales a visibly ice-cold breath and saunters down the aisle with Libussa in tow as her olive drab overcoat sways from her arrogant gait.

CM: I wonder if we’re supposed to talk at each space?

Vamp slides gracefully into the ring, as her ghoul takes her rightful position at ringside, before skipping up to her feet and pirouettes as she stands up straight.

JH: What the hell are you two talking about!?

The enigmatic Romanian saunters over to the ropes, leaning over them with that same apathetical gaze to the audience as she exhales another visibly ice cold breath from her mouth...

CM: I dunno. Conse is like Deadpool or something…

Eventually, she decides to walk back over to her corner for the announcements to begin. Which is dumb, ‘cuz they happened during the intro. Sooooo…

[align=center]DINGDINGDING!!![/align]

La Lesbiana points toward Vamp with a warning look on her face and we can’t help but think of that plucky Sarah Michelle Gellar. Vamp merely rolls her eyes and stalks in for the attack, but La Lesbiana throws off her sensitive catch-as-catch-canning with a bitch-slap and a feint around. She grabs Vamp by the hair but Vamp’s a bit more prepared after the slap and snares her left hand in a wrist lock.

CL: Hey, wristlock. Nice submissions harkening… if you’re in fucking wrestling school.

Lesbiana seems to be having difficulty with it, kicking aimlessly and backward at Vamp. The pale Romanian easily dodges the boots, grinning as she torques the hold and mutates it into a hammerlock.

CL: … that’s not much better.

CM: What’re you talking about? I’m getting a GREAT shot of Lesbiana’s cleavage now!

JH: … put your damn camera phone away, Chip!

Lesbiana seems to be racking her brain for one of her signature flippy-floppy moves to counter this vicious hold. An exclamation point seems to cross her face as her eyes brighten and we can almost hear the Metal Gear Solid noise as she realizes it is her more recent training she must tap into. La Lesbiana DRIVES her elbow backward into Vamp’s midsection and FORCES her over with a snap mare!

JH: Quick thinking by La Lesbiana Fantastica!

She jumps up and down, grinning and proud of herself for a moment.

CM: Oh… oh keep jumping! YES!

CL: *sighs*

La Lesbiana runs to the opposite ropes as Vamp begins to rise… FROM THE DEAD!?

… no, just from the mat. Anyhow, Vamp gets a chance to turn around but only gets spinning headscissored into an grounded armbar.

JH: She calls that the Crazy Inez!

CL: Who’s Inez?

CM: I dunno, but I bet she’s hot!

CL: Kill me. Put me out of my misery, Hitchen. Please.

JH: No.

CL: Please!? I’ll stop calling you Bitchen!

JH: *sighs*

La Lesbiana seems on top of the world as she torques at her hold , but Vamp pulls some catch-as-catch-can magic and swivels the hold while rolling over La Lesbiana to mutate it into a chickenwingy-sort of move with her squatting and Lesbiana having the ouchies.

CM: Aw, poor Lesbiana.

JH: It’s never good to have your signature reversed on you.

CL: Vamp’s got the advantage when it comes to submissions, though.

JH: You can’t deny that.

CM: Can too! Watch. *clears throat* Nuh-uh!

Lesbiana seems to remember she has a free hand and drives it into Vamp’s bridge, causing the blood-sucker to back off long enough for Mz. Fantastica to roll away. Lesbiana pops to her feet, favoring her left arm quite a lot. Vamp stumbles back into a standing position, giving Lesbiana the target she wanted as she charges forward and BLASTS VAMP INTO, AND OVER THE ROPES WITH A--

CL: COCKTOOS LEG LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!

CM: Did you say cock tease? Because it sounded like you said cock tease.

CL: I said Cock-toos. Like the Japanese pronounce Cactus Jack’s name? ‘Cuz a Cactus clothesline is where you take someone over the top rope and-- oh forget it. You’re staring at my chest for some reason and not even paying attention.

CM: I’m pretending you have breasts.

The girls spill into a pile outside and faithful Michaela follows. Lesbiana is the first to shove herself vertical, and she dives under the ring, presumably to locate an axe.

JH: I don’t like vamp’s chances. For some reason it seems like Lesbiana’d probably know her way around a hardcore match.

CM: I get that vibe, too. Wonder why that is?

CL: You guys are morons.

Lesbiana doesn’t find an axe, but she does procure what appears to be a push broom. She raises it high above her head, takes it to swing like a baseball bat, readying… readying as Vamp rises… and SWINGS!!!



CRACKING THE HANDLE AGAINST THE RING POST!!!

CL: … all right, I give. What the fuck is she doing?

Lesbiana takes the broken broom handle and lunges at Vamp, trying to jab her in the chest with the pointy bit.

JH: Oh, I get it! She’s trying to stake Vamp!

Vamp seems rather horrified (that’s a first) and puts her hands around Lesbiana’s neck, trying to choke her out while simultaneously keeping her at bay. Michaela doesn’t like any of this and starts yelling at the both of them to break it up or she’ll double-disqualify them. That gets Lesbiana’s attention and she decides to simply DRIVE HER KNEE BETWEEN VAMP’S LEGS!!

CM: OH NO! Sweet tender pussycat just got a visit from the knee democracy!

Vamp releases her choke on Lesbiana and the sexy luchador backs away, grinning and holding her hands up in innocence, letting the stake drop from her grasp. Michaela, because of her position, didn’t see anything, but moves to rant at Lesbiana nonetheless, suspecting foul play. Lesbiana seems very interested in what Michaela has to say, and is polite enough to warn her when Vamp comes screaming their way. Michaela dodges and Lesbiana scrambles backward into the ring, NARROWLY missing Vamp’s palm.

JH: Lesbiana’s certainly got speed on her side!

CL: Don’t you mean “celerity”?

JH: Er… I guess?

CL: … never mind.

Vamp slides into the ring after Lesbiana, but falls victim to the tried-and-true stomps. She eventually fights her way to her feet, but that doesn’t stop Lesbiana’s boot from making its way in-between Vamp’s chest and waistband. Vamp coughs and leans forward as La Lesbiana turns about-face and DROPS VAMP’S NECK/CHIN ACROSS HER SHOULDER WITH A STUNNER!!

JH: TOTAL PWNAGE!!

CM: I’ve never heard Hitchen sound so geeky.

CL: You’ve never heard Hitchen talk?

Lesbiana slides over her adversary for the pin, and Michaela drops for the count.

[align=center]ONE!


TWO!!


THREE!!!
[/align]

Libussa looks a bit upset on the apron, not able to make it in time to distract Michaela or even stop the pinfall, but she settles for glowering at the referee as Lesbiana’s hand is raised.

MA: Your winner… La Lesbiana… FAAAAANNNNTASSSTIIIICAAAAA!!!

JH: Certainly an excellent debut for this young Hellcat. I can’t wait to see more!

CM: Me either!
[align=center]Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image[/align]
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JH: Right now, the team with no name in action against Tanaka Zaibatsu

CM: This should be a real short match; Tanaka Zaibatsu should be the champions right now not facing these idiots.

CL: If they were the champions they’d still have to fight the team with no name.

CM: Oh yeah, well at least I’d have something to like about that match unlike the match that will likely make me throw up with the Revolution and the team with no name.

JH: That’s a great match for another time Chip, but please let’s focus on the match at hand.

CL: You mean the introductions at hand?

JH: Right.

MA: Introducing from Reading, England and Maple Syrup, Canada; weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy three pounds, Ash Koopa and El Lumberjacko… THE TEAM WITH NO NAME!

"Good Time" by Leroy hits the PA system and the team with no name make their way out from the backstage area. They go to opposite sides of the stage and nod to each other, before running to the middle and doing a jumping highfive. A couple of highfives later and the two are walking down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans behind the barrier. the team with no name spring off in opposite directions around the ring, slapping hands with the fans in the first row, making their way all the way around the ring. Meeting back up at where they started they instruct each other to go the opposite way, doing the exact same thing as before except slapping hands with the fans on the other side. After enough handslapping merriment Jacko slides in under the ring and Ash makes his way in by ducking under the top rope. The masked lumberjack makes his way over to the turnbuckle and mounts it, playing to the crowd for cheers in return, while Ash remains by the ropes taunting the crowd with Hogan like mannerisms. Jacko jumps down, hitting another highfive with his team-mate before they head over to their corner. The two start a competitive game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who will start out first as their entrance music dies down.

MA: And their opponents from Nayoga, Japan and Darkest, Louisiana, USA; weighing in at a combined weight of Four Hundred and twenty pounds, Daisuke ‘the Crow’ Tanaka and Mister Blond, the Tanaka Zaibutsu.

Black Feather Orchestra’s X hits and the team with no name look around wary of Daisuke’s sneak attacks. Mister Blond appears at the entrance and quickly makes his way down to the ring. He says explains to the referee the Daisuke is having trouble backstage with his attire and needs a minute. Richard looks suspiciously at Mister Blond as do El Lumberjacko and Ash.

JH: What we’re meant to believe a grown man can’t dress himself now?

CL: Looks like it

CM: You two don’t understand do you? For people as stylish as Daisuke and myself, dressing isn’t as simple as just throwing on the first thing you grab; you have to make sure everything hangs just right.

The music cuts and Richard explains to Blond that he has to start the match now and Blond will have to go it alone until his partner shows up, Blond doesn’t seem to mind. Kelly calls for one of the team with no name to leave, in accordance to the game earlier ‘Jacko steps out onto the apron.

[align=center]DING DING[/align]

Ash calls for a tie up in the middle of the ring, Mister Blond inches in then backs off and quickly hopes through the ropes and stands on the apron, Koopa looks around quickly to see if Tanaka has snuck up on him but still no sign. Blond stomps his foot and gets back into the ring ready to tie up. Ash and Blond tie up, No!

JH: Where the hell’d he come from?

CM: No one knows, he’s a NINJA!

Daisuke without drawing any attention until he struck with a thrust kick to the back of Ash’s right knee. Blond backs out of the ring quickly leaving Daisuke in as the legal man. As Ash gets up Daisuke spins and takes off his coat at the same time, he throws it into the air distracting Ash for a moment, Ash is back on one knee after low roundhouse kick to the right knee. Richard Kelly quickly throws the coat out of the ring. Daisuke grabs the left arm of Ash, knees him in the face and as Ash falls back spins around the arm and applies the Jujigatame.

CL: Well it was a quick match what have we got next?

JH: What are you on about the match isn’t over.

CL: You must be watching the wrong match, Daisuke just applied the cross armbreaker in the middle of the ring and in style.

JH: Yes but Koopa hasn’t tapped out.

CL: A mere formality. Richard should just end the match now.

CM: Yes before it somehow gets less interesting.

Koopa fights the hold refusing to allow his arm to be straightened but his hand keeps getting further and further away, Koopa rolls onto his shoulder and clamps his hands together before rolling back.

JH: Koopa has the hold blocked.

CL: Correction did have it blocked.

Daisuke pushes Ash’s arm away from him breaking the clasp of the hands then pulls it back and fully applying the hold. Koopa screams out in pain.

CL: GENIUS!

CM: Daisuke better end this quickly before I go to sleep.

Daisuke looks about ready to snap the arm when Koopa rolls on his shoulder again and reaches out but not for his hand. Koopa punches Daisuke in the face multiple times to make him let go.

JH: Practical

Koopa scrambles to his feet and tests the range of motion in his arm. Daisuke slowly stalks Ash and as he turns hits him with a palm thrust to the side of the face then and arm drag, flinging him close to the Tanaka Zaibutsu corner. Daisuke applies an arm wringer to Koopa then tags out. Mister Blond steps into the ring and kicks the outstretched arm. Daisuke grabs Richard Kelly and walks him away from the corner explaining why he was late, his skirt was hanging wrong and it took time to fix. While Tanaka explains the complexities of his earlier problem Mister Blond goes to work on Koopa pressing his thumb deep into his eye, apparently trying to remove it.

JH: Oh come on what do we need to stop this? Two referees in every Tanaka Zaibutsu match?

Noticing his partner in trouble and a clear path ‘Jacko steps into the ring, quickly and comically he creeps to the other side of the ring looking like a cartoon burglar. ‘Jacko taps Blond on the right shoulder and ducks left as he turns, then taps him on the left shoulder and dips right. When Blond turn all the way around he finds nothing as ‘Jacko manages to get behind him, he checks on his team mate but is rudely turned around ‘Jacko catches Blond by surprise with a thumb to the eye.

CM: Oh come on ref, blatant cheating… maybe we do need a second referee… what am I saying?!

Daisuke notices El Lumberjacko in the ring and chases after him, ‘Jacko jumps out of the ring and runs off around ringside followed by Daisuke. Ash follows a stumbling Blond into the middle of the ring and hits an inverted atomic drop then heads to the ropes. On the other side of the ring ‘Jacko slides in and continues running with Daisuke close behind. Koopa bounces back from the ropes and throws his arm out for the Ash Bomber but Blond ducks, ‘Jacko has little time to react

JH: ASH BOMBER!

However he does indeed manage to duck as well, Daisuke is flat on his back staring up cursing the fact he had no time to duck. ‘Jacko continues forward and hits a spinning head scissors on Blond.

CL: Well wasn’t that well timed

JH: I’d say it was lucky not timed.

CL: Is my sarcasm lost to you?

El Lumberjacko and Ash Koopa look at each other for a moment before running off is opposite directions to the ropes, ‘Jacko jumps to the middle rope and flips back with grace, while Koopa sprints back and propels himself into the air, he hits a high elevation leg drop on Daisuke at the same time ‘Jacko lands chest to chest with Blond.

JH: LA QUEBRADA and ULTIMATE LEG DROP!

Both men make a cover. Richard Kelly has not lost track of the legal men and tells Koopa he is pinning the wrong person then tells ‘Jacko he needs to get out of the ring. However the second part falls on deaf ears and the two merely switch and pin their legal and illegal counterparts. Richard Kelly shrugs and counts the pin on Blond.

[align=center]1!

2!

STERO KICK OUT!
[/align]Koopa keeps a hold of Blond and lifts him to his feet while Kelly gets both of the illegal men out of the ring. Koopa hits a several hard forearms to the head before stuffing Blond’s head between his legs and jumping up to hit a headscissiors neckbreakers, he then humps up and down two more times before stepping aside and hitting a gut wrench suplex that lands Blond near the corner. Koopa stands on his throat and poses for the crowd. Richard Kelly starts a count.

[align=center]1!

2!

3!

4!
[/align]Koopa removes his foot from the throat and tags to ‘Jacko. ‘Jacko slings over the top rope with a senton onto Blonds chest. ‘Jacko makes a cover.

[align=center]1! [/align]El Lumberjacko starts to flail all of a suddenly. Blond has reached under the mask and applied a fishhook. Blond gets to his feet and uses the illegal technique to drag ‘Jacko to his side of the ring. Just as Blond is about to tag out ‘Jacko gets free and whips Blond across the ring. Blond holds on to the ropes thinking it smart not to return that is however changed when he see ‘Jacko jump up and hit an enzuigiri sending Daisuke to the floor. Mister Blond starts to walk across the ring, ‘Jacko charges Blond and swings a yakuza kick but Blond quickly ducks the two turn quickly

JH: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!

El Lumberjacko was faster on the turn and caught Mister Blond by surprise. ‘Jacko makes the cover.

[align=center]1!

2!

3!

DING DING!
[/align]Ash Koopa comes into the ring and raises his and El Lumberjacko’s hand as the announcement is made, Tanaka Zaibutsu regroup on the floor looking anything but happy.

MA: Your winners by pinfall, Ash Koopa and El Lumberjacko, THE TEAM WITH NO NAME!

CM: Well that was cra--

[align=center]-=COMMERCIAL BREAK=-[/align]

CM: ... THAT COMMERCIAL BREAK CUT ME OFF.

CL: Relax, Martin. I'm sure it didn't mean to. After all, everything you say is SO pertinent.

CM: This is true.

The arena lights earn an amber glaze and an impossible amount of red sand, fog, and dust come blowing through the entryway. A vibrating arpeggio rips through our ear-holes to flashing stage strobes.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Mad awesome guitars burn into our faces and a few acid-green spotlights begin searching through all the amber, looking for the man who appears in the blowing sands.

MA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three-way cage match! Introducing first, making his way to the ring... he stands at five-feet, eleven inches and weighs in tonight at TWO hundred TWELVE pounds... he is your FLLYYYYYYCOOOOOORE CHAMPION! ... ... GRRRRRAAYYYYYYYYVEEERRRRRRR!!!

The Reject of Rejects steps from between the swirling red dust onstage into the clear, holding his title over his left shoulder and a water bottle in his right hand.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
He drinks deep, observing the crowd before his trek down the walkway to the ring. Graver finally reaches the end of his journey and takes another look around, dousing his head with some of the water to wash the grainy sand from it.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Graver walks over to the ring apron on the side where the cameras usually point. He finishes his water and tosses it into the crowd, climbing the apron and pausing before raising his arms and SCREEEAAAAAAAAAMING with unholy fury, raising fire from all four turnbuckles with explosive results!

[align=center]Posted Image

Posted Image[/align]
Graver enters the ring and hands his belt off to the ref, climbing a turnbuckle and making a few gestures to the fans before dismounting into his corner and awaiting the start of the match. The musical jingles familiar to Kill Bill fans of Ironside’s “Quincy Jones” hits on the PA system as red lights around the arena behind to strobe in and out to the creepy air of the music before the ear-splitting tunes of “Dead In Hollywood” by Murderdolls pound out the PA system …

CL: Hey look. Those paragraph breaks are back again!

Momoko appears from behind the curtain with her Stop Sign in one hand and a sickle and staple gun attached to each other by a chain on each of the handles.

MA: And his opponent! From Saitama, Japan… she is your UNDISPUTED IN-TERNATIONAL CHAMPION… MOOOOMOOOOKOOO WAAAKAAAARRIIIIIIIII!!!

Momoko raises the Stop Sign in the air for the admiration of the fans and yelling what we can assume is an insult in her native language to the fans in attendance and saunters down the ramp way towards the ring…

CL: Saying something for the paragraph break.

CM: Make him stop, Hitchen. He’s scaring me!

JH: I don’t even know what he’s talking about.

Momoko upon reaching the ring places her sickle, staple gun and Stop Sign in her corner before climbing into the ring and to the middle rope of her corner’s turnbuckle.

CL: PARAGRAPH BREAAAAAAAK.

CM: This is scarier than a Kurt Royale reference!

She then stares out callously to the masses in attendance and flips the bird to everyone in her immediate area before hopping back down and awaiting the match to start.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
The arena lights begin to faint as smoke fills the entryway the first few rifts of “Attack” engages in recreation on the PA system as a silhouette can be seen behind the thick smoked stage area and red strobe lights begin to flicker on and off.

[align=center]I WON'T SUFFER, BE BROKEN
GET TIRED, OR WASTED
SURRENDER TO NOTHING
I'LL GIVE UP WHAT I STARTED
AND STOPPED IT
FROM END TO BEGINNING
A NEW DAY IS COMING
AND I AM FINALLY FREE
[/align]
The roof of the arena rattles as the base kicks in and Sean Madrox emerges from the smoke and a strobe light radiates his complex body to the crowd’s jeers as he stands on the stage glancing from left to right. He begins to walk down the steel steps admiring his own physique and raises his hand into the air forming the infamous ‘X’ as the jeers ring out loudly and he can’t help but display a devilish smirk across his face as he flips off the crowd.

MA: And their opponent; from Fairfield Connecticut… he is the FIGHTING SPIRIT CHAMPION! SHHHEEEYAAAWWWWNNN… MAAAAAADROOOOOOOXXXX!!!

[align=center]RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
I’LL ATTACK
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
GO CHANGE YOURSELF
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
NOW I’LL ATTACK
I’LL ATTACK, I’LL AA WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[/align]
Sean reaches the apron and he jumps up on it looking at both sides, then he flips over the top rope into the ring. He climbs the turnbuckles and he once again taunts his infamous ‘X’ as the crowd continues with jeers. He then removes his sleeveless hoodie and waits for his opponent.

The lights re-darken and strobes flash above the ring as the cage is lowered. Logan black argues with Momoko before finally kicking all her weapons out from her corner and to the floor before the cage closes down around everyone. Ring monkeys work in the shadows to fasten it to the ring itself, and the lights finally rise with a…

[align=center]DINGDINGDING!!![/align]

Graver charges immediately for Sean Madrox, but JUST as he reaches the FSC he stops and sneers, instead opting to go for Momoko.

CM: What a slam against Sean Madrox! Graver just ignored him like he said he hated being ignored this week!

Madrox doesn’t stand for that shit, no sir. He grabs Graver by the back of the head and drops him with a Sean-o-Matic. Momoko seems content to stand back, watch, and observe as the two men take each other apart.

JH: It can’t be incredibly interesting for the fans, but you can’t blame Momoko for biding her time. She’s got the size disadvantage in this map.

CL: No excuse. Graver’s practically a stick himself, and Madrox isn’t THAT big.

Sean slides Graver away from the ropes and climbs a bit up onto the cage, moonsaulting backward from a little higher up than normal to add EXTRA velocity to his landing. This does him little good, however, as Graver rolls out of the way and pulls himself back to his feet.

JH: Madrox can’t be too cocky in this situation… it’s a dangerous match with dangerous stakes.

CM: Are you kidding? Madrox can NEVER be TOO cocky. He’s far too awesome, y’see. NEEDS to be cocky.

CL: He needs bukkake, you mean.

Graver notices Momoko has distanced herself from the match and grimly makes his way over in her direction as Madrox writhes on the floor, clenching his guts. Momoko gets into a defensive stance, and Graver eyes her, mimicking her stance to the impatient shift of her feet.

JH: I can’t quite tell if Graver’s mocking Momoko or just trying to get into her head.

CL: Probably both. He’s still Graver, after all.

Momoko finally goes to take a chance and strike at Graver, but for Sean crashing into the Flycore Champ with a flying forearm to the back of the head!

CM: Can’t keep a good Madrox down!

Sean sees Momoko, but it’s a split-second too late as she takes her chances with a flying shoulder tackle! Madrox lands back-first into the cage and Momoko jarrs her shoulder just a bit, since Sean absorbed most of the blow with his torso. The pink-haired demon gets back to her feet just in time for Graver to grab ahold of her ankle and DRAG her leg out from under her! The unexpected jerk puts her off-balance and Momoko CRASH-lands face-first into the floor!

CL: It’s always good to see that psycho bitch eat canvas.

JH: Don’t you like Momoko?

CL: Hell I don’t even know anymore.

Graver crawls forward and applies a totally unexpected Achilles lock! Momoko slaps her forearms against the mat to pound out the pain without looking like she’s submitting and says something that probably carries obscenity in Japanese. Graver adjusts his body to get some more leverage, and continues murdering Momoko’s ankle while pinning the other leg down with his knee.

JH: Highly modified position on that Achilles hold.

CL: Yeah, but it’s workin’! You can see the pain on Momoko’s slant-eyed little face!

CM: That’s racist!

CL: How so? Her eyes are slanty, are they not?

CM: … he’s got me there, Hitchen. You do it next time, I’m no good at this champion of justice business.

Madrox finally gets back up, holding his head where it hit the steel cage bars. He looks down at Graver and Momoko and steps forward to attack, but then shrugs and walks to the ropes.

JH: Is he going for an escape?

CM: HA! Madrox wins the match while Graver and Momoko are playing huggsy-wuggsy. Awesome.

Not so awesome, Chippy. Graver torques the Achilles hold again and notices Madrox already halfway up the cage, and he simply lets go and darts shoulder-first into the cage wall. The structure shakes and Sean loses his grip, hanging by one hand for a moment. He reaches up to grip the next bar, but not before Graver grabs him by the calf and drags him down off the wall!

CL: HA! Eat that, Martin. Eat it with a SPOON.

CM: But I wanted a fork!

JH: And it looks like you’ll get it!

Momoko reaches down the front of her cutoffs and pulls out a four-tined metal fork, and raises it high, presumably for driving into the back of Graver’s neck. Logan Black spots it and goes to stop her, shouting things like “HEY!”, but that doesn’t deter Momoko. It takes a full-body grab from the referee that catches her on an off-step and knocks Momoko into Graver, fork DIGGING into the back of his shirt as the two topple.

CM: SPICY FORK ACTION!

Graver slumps against the cage wall, grim-faced, and he reaches back and pulls the fork out of his shirt. There’s a tiny bit of blood on the tines, meaning it probably didn’t get very deep. Graver tosses it disdainfully out of the ring while Logan helps Momoko to her feat, giving her a harsh scolding. Graver becomes the counter-strike to Logan’s help and grabs her by the pigtails, dragging her over to the cage wall before taking hold of her head proper and SMASHING IT INTO THE CAGE!!

CL: AND THE VIOLENCE BEGINS!

Graver pulls back as the fans pop, and smashes Momoko’s head AGAIN into the steel! He pulls back for a third time, but Momoko raises a woozy arm and grabs a fistful of dreadlocks, SHOVING Graver’s face now into the steel!

JH: This has degenerated into a smash-off!

CM: And it looks like the end is near!

Madrox gets up off the mat and sees what his opponents are doing, choosing to enter into this little contest by grabbing both of them by the back of the head and SLAMMING their faces into the steel! The final blow knocks both of them to the mat, and Madrox smirks, standing proud and victorious.

CM: HA! Now THIS is it! Madrox is a shoe-in to win now!

The Fighting Spirit Champ starts leisurely climbing the cage, making his way to the top with a swivel in his shoulders and a light step. He stops JUST at the top, however, when he feels a fist in his kidney.

CL: Now Momoko’s on the cage! She just scampered the fuck right up there!

JH: She’s damn quick! Just goddamn quick!

Madrox kicks at her and puts a boot to her shoulder, telling her to “fuck off”, but you can’t stomp Momoko; she drills a few more fists into Sean’s kidney before rising up and BLASTING MADROX IN THE FACE WITH THE PINK MIST!!!!

JH: PINK MIST!! PINK MIST!!

Madrox claws at his eyes and topples off the cage wall once again, landing with a SIIIIIIIIICK splat on the canvas! Graver looks up at his obscene adversary and Momoko glares back down at the Reject of Rejects before turning and sprightly continuing her climb. Graver goes hand-over-fist to reach Momoko and gets as far as to grab her ankle---NO! Momoko’s foot just slips RIGHT out of Graver’s hands!

CM: Momoko’s gonna make it! Momoko’s gonna win!

Momoko kneels on the very top of the cage and Graver climbs a bit further up. She extends her leg to find the way down and Graver begins SHAKING the cage furiously!

JH: Such a desperation move from a desperate man! He does NOT want Momoko to win!

CL: After the disrespect she dealt him, can you blame him?

Momo is most definitely losing her balance, but determination finds rigidity in her small chin and she eases down the other side of the cage. Graver sees his chance and VAULTS himself upward, reaching over the top of the cage and taking a grip of pink in the process!!

JH: The hair! The hair! Graver’s got Momoko by the hair!

CL: YES! Don’t let her win, Minister of Awesomocity!

CM: … uh… GET UP MADROX! WHOOOO! PHENOMENAL!

Graver begins pulling upward, causing Momoko to RIP the most BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM you’ve ever heard! She pounds on his knuckles and scratches at his wrists with her fingernails as the Flycore Champ pulls her upward by her hair!

JH: That’s just hideous! It’s just WRONG!

CL: It’s just awesome. Shut the fuck up.

Graver gets his other hand in on the action and finally hefts Momoko back onto the top of the cage. She makes no hesitation to unleash her full fury, clawing at his eyes and throwing one Japanese insult after another into his face, punctuating with slaps, scratches, and trying to gouge out his eyes.

JH: I can’t help but think Logan Black’d be doing something about this were he not on the ground down there.

Graver’s face is bleeding from a few scratches, but he still manages to fight forward to BLAST MOMOKO IN THE SKULL WITH A FUCK-HEADBUTT!! Momoko backs off and Graver takes the scant opportunity to SHOVE her off his hips and DOWN to the canvas!!

CL: YES!! YES!! YES!!!

Graver rolls over, carefully climbing down the cage and finally landing with both feet on the floor.

[align=center]DINGDINGDING![/align]

MA: Your winner… GRRRRAAAAAAYYYYVEERRRR!!!

CL: Graver just continues to prove his awesomocity, even after going… um… un-crazy.

[align=center]-=COMMERCIAL BREAK=-[/align]
[align=center]Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image[/align]
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The scene opens up to the inside of a public washroom. Slowly, the camera pans around to catch Crackerjack standing with his head slunk downwards in front of a mirror. His hands rest on the topsides of the sink below him which is also home to the only noise in the room. The constant "drip, drip, drip" echoes through the nearly empty bathroom. Resting on the sink next to him is Crackerjack's blood stained mask. Crackerjack remains both motionless and silent, but neither of these last long as he shifts his massive body in order to release a big sigh. Reaching over, Crackerjack grabs his mask; but that's as far as the camera goes as it stays on the now empty sink. Soon, after a few soundless seconds, we are shown Crackerjack wearing his mask now looking into the mirror. Crackerjack releases yet another deep sigh.

Crackerjack: Let's do this.

His tone not that of forceful or even close to intimidating, he speaks more so as if talking to someone. Someone he is at peace with. Soon, Crackerjack turns and walks towards the door. Opening it seems like a volume fix as a loud crowd can be heard the more he opens the door. Soon, Crackerjack walks into the world of noise from his silent sanctuary.

MA: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the Main Event of the Evening!

Sun shine lollipops and rainbows everything is wonderful is what I feel when we're together!
Brighter than a lucky penny
when y*u hear the raindr*ps disap*ear* de*r and I fe*l so *ine just *o k*ow t**t yo* are mine!


The slow opening of Blood, milk, and sky signals for the lights to slowly die down until there is nothing but a flashing strobelight facing the entrance.

The siren sings a
Lonely song of all the
Wants and hungers
of all the
Wants and hungers


MA: Introducing first, from the Alleys of New York City; weighing in tonight at Three Hundred and Nineteen Pounds, CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERR JACK!

After moments when the music starts to pick up, Crackerjack moves onto the stage slowly and stands at the stages’ edge right at the stairs. Looking down to the left, Crackerjack suddenly jerks his head to the right to get a full glance in that direction. He looks up to the rafters and points a finger in the general direction of up, nodding. Moving forward again slowly, Crackerjack makes his way down the three steps one at a time.

Empty
Winds scrape on the
Soul - but never stop
To realize -
but never stop
To realize


In a sort of sideways fashion, Crackerjack walks down to the ring not removing his gaze from it. Of course, it’s hard to tell with the mask, but it’s safe to assume. Just as Crackerjack reaches up for the ropes, the entire arena goes black for maybe three seconds, five tops. When all lights are back on, Crackerjack stands in the middle of the ring staring back at the entranceway as the song has skipped the second verse and gone into the chorus, still standing in a half sideways manner.

The arena plunges into darkness as "O Fortuna" gongs in and rings out all around the arena. All attention, cinemagraphically speaking, is drawn to the ReVoltrons which both present a video that puts Prime in a masterpiece light. In this video package he poses in and out of shadows, flexing in flickers of white light and then the choir culminates into the final chord…

[align=center]YEAAAA![/align]

MA: And his partner, from San Diego, California; weighing in tonight at Three Hundred and Ten pounds; This. Is. PRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Saliva's "I Walk Alone" rocks the PA as the afore mentioned darkness now gives way to a spectacular and celestial light show. The ReVoltrons now light up with Primes symbol bouncing and vibrating in and out of focus beneath a sheer static overtone. Prime walks out onto the stage with his head hung...

[align=center]I WALK ALOOOONE![/align]

Standing before the capacity crowd, Prime reels back and pops off a shouting Triple H pose into the Randy Orton “Legend Killer” pose but modified into more of a flex and grin. A machine gun pyro effect fires all around Prime through the chain link fencing as he holds his pose. The pyro smoke intentionally consumes his body and he soon burst through the smoke all pumped up, shouting, and ready to go. He makes his way confidently to the ring, eyeing his opponent the whole time. With ease, he leaps up onto the apron and all four posts and four matching ceiling sets burst in a sparkling white flare. Prime ducks between the ropes and heads right to the turnbuckle. Once he stands on the middle rope, Prime throws out his "Prime pose" once again and then leaps backward off the turnbuckle and bounces to warm up before his match.

The lights go down as thunder rolls in the distance and smoke fills up the cage. The thunder rolls again and the music picks up; the synthesised riff that signals the start of Rusty Nail and the coming of the Judo Sensei. The guitars arrive and the stage is split with lights and lasers and such like and a familiar voice fills the air, with uncharacteristically melodic singing.

[align=center]Kioku no kakera ni, egaita bara wo mitsumete
Togireta, omoi de kasaneru, kawaranai yume ni...[/align]

[align=center]Oh, Rusty Nail![/align]

MA: And their opponents; first, from Komachi City, Japan; weighing in tonight at Two Hundred and Sixty pounds, Kiyoshi NAAAAAAAKAAAAAAHAATAAAAAAA!!!!!!

The disappears in an explosion of pyro momentarily as the chorus hits, and when the debris finally settles, only a lonely warrior remains: Kiyoshi Nakahata, waving the smoke out of his face and pulling his hood right up over his head as he strides towards the ring, trying to keep the huge positive reaction from the crowd out of his mind as the chorus continues.

[align=center]Doredake, namida wo nagaseba
Anata wo, wasurerareru darou
JUST TELL ME MY LIFE
Doku made, aruite mitemo
Namida de, ashita ga mienai...[/align]


Over the PA, Daisuke holds the note out as long as is humanly possible, and then a little longer as Kiyoshi carries on his lonely way to the ring and ascends the steps to the apron. As he reaches a neutral corner from the outside, he faces the crowd, and takes the flag out from his waist band, screws it up and hurls it onto the crowd, for one lucky fan in the front row. With something that vaguely resembles a smile from a certain angle, Mr. FSC strides along the apron, vaulting up on top of his corner, where he pulls his hood right over his face and waits...

A low hum sound comes from the speakers and soon a guitar begins to play with sound effects in the background, drums and the sound steel being hammered comes in at around thirty seconds. Xtreme Kitten appears from behind the curtain as the drums come in; Lucy is following Kitten as she holds onto her large steel chain which as usual is attached to a collar around Xtreme Kitten’s neck. Xtreme Kitten kicks the chain link fence on the stage in time with the beat of the hammer; he stays on the stage kicking until percussion drops out, Kitten snaps to an attention like pose.

MA: And his partner; from Shoal Bay, Australia, weighing in tonight at Two hundred and Fifty Five Pounds; he is you Dual Crown Champion; XXXXTREEEEEEEME KIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNN!!!

[align=center]I clench my teeth and realize
My world is so near its demise
A dying sun in a poisonous sky
Stinging my eyes
Burning with contempt and conflict
[/align]

The percussion comes back with the vocals but the steel sound is gone. Xtreme Kitten starts to walks to the front of the stage and stops at the stairs as Lucy pulls on the chain, they walk down the stairs together and walk towards the ring. Xtreme Kitten and Lucy stop at ring side.

[align=center]As of now
I am a tool
Of severe impact
[/align]

Xtreme Kitten begins to move as the steel sound comes back, he once again kicks the fencing with the sound. Lucy leads Xtreme Kitten around the ring; they stop near the ring stairs as the music drops out, the bass booms, the music comes back and Xtreme Kitten and Lucy head up the stairs.

[align=center]I clench my fist and visualize
The blood that is spilled is our own
I open wide my bloodshot eyes
Count the dead
A result of dysfunction
[/align]

Lucy undoes the collar around Xtreme Kitten’s neck during the verse, the music is cut, Lucy hopes off the apron, Xtreme Kitten steps into the ring and goes to his corner ready to start the match.

[align=center]Ba-Ding![/align]

Without so much as a look back, XK steps out onto the apron, leaving Kiyoshi to start the match against his fellow #1 Contender for the Dual Crown; Prime. As you do when you’re looking to absorb the atmosphere of an electric crowd in a Main Event, the two men circle each other, although Prime’s idea of circling is more like walking, fully upright, trying to intimidate Kiyoshi into going home just by his mere presence. The White Haired Warrior isn’t precisely scared, but he’s no daft enough to rest on his laurels. For a start, there’s no chair in the ring.

JH: How many times do you actually see a team consisting of Xtreme Kitten and Kiyoshi Nakahata, two genuine heavyweights, being utterly dwarfed?

CM: You just wait. Soon they’ll be even smaller, what with the Pounding and the Smashing and the GLAIVEN!

CL: Chip has been replaced by Professor Frink. Excellent. What’s next; Bitchen as the Bumblebee Man?

Poundin’ and a Smashin’ begins, accompanied by no small amount of Clubberin’; Axe Handles and Forearms and other such devastation is wrought upon Kiyoshi, although much of it is turned away by his guard. The odd shot gets in and staggers him slightly, causing him to give up ground in a sort of anti-clockwise direction. Eventually, Kiyoshi has to fight back and unleashes a storm of palm strikes. Alas, they don’t have too much effect on the giant, but it doesn’t hurt to try, ever.

CM: Give up, go home. Nakaratamahata has no chance of knocking down Prime.

JH: Does an O-Soto-Gari count?

CM: No…

Which is unfortunate for both Chip and the Evolution of Evil, for the latter is swept and thrown to the floor! Prime, it has to be said, is no slouch on the mat, and manages to fend off Kiyoshi, with a combination of with thought out wriggling, and no small amount of fist swinging, but two well placed forearms across the carotid artery put that right. Tony Clarke is a little iffy on whether that is actually legal, on account of the forearms being much too close to the windpipe, and asks for a break. Kiyoshi steps off, and in a completely uncharacteristic [but hardly stupid,] move, Prime rolls him up!

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Kiyoshi Kicks Out, but XK Saves Anyway!!!
[/align]

After pausing to remind Nakahata of his DC winning awesomeness, XK is persuaded to return to his corner, where Kiyoshi soon joins him, tagging out. Prime follows suit, and both partners get their first action of the match; Crackerjack being a little more static as he steps in over the top rope, and XK being a little reluctant to think; preferring to let his kicking instincts guide his feet towards Jack’s knees.

JH: Excellent strategy from the Dual Crown Champion.

CM: How does standing there and getting pummelled amount to good strategy?

CL: It’s because Jack’s a heel, and thus is Bitchen’s sworn enemy.

CM: He’s not a heel, he’s bloody huge!

Lame jokes aside, XK is doing a decent job of evading Jack’s own strikes and incapacitating his knee, but he still gets hammered back once or twice. The third time, there is no hammering, as he slides in and lays a jumping headbutt right where Crackerjack’s nose should be! Such puny considerations are nothing to Jacky, and he hurls Kitten, Front Suplex Style, right over his head! Cover!

[align-center]One!

Next Time, Cover him Properly!
[/align]

XK waits to kip up, sweeping out Crackerjack’s legs, before soccer kicking him in the face!

CL: Nothing quite like a good head kickingto take your mind off the dreariness of the day.

CM: And the best thinkg about Crackerjack, is that you can keep on Kicking him! It’s like the gift that keeps on giving, except, you know. reversed.

Kiyoshi tags in, and takes his go, a running knee strike to the head, which doesn’t come in nearly quick enough; Jack stands up, takes it on the chest, and bounces it off! Kiyoshi ends up having to roll through over the top as Crackerjack stands up! Desperate times and all that, Kiyoshi skips [not quite having enough room to get up a full head of steam,] up, and tries for the STK!

CM: Was that the Space Tornado?

CL: No Chip, that’s a faulty monitor.

CM: But maybe it was caused by-

CL: No. Faulty Monitor, you hear?

Interstellar waves or not, Crackerjack plants his feet, and crashing Kiyoshi’s skull with a few elbows instead of going down for the Space Tornado Kiyoshi! A Choke Slam follows, and any Visions of Nell that might have filled a viewer’s mind are quickly squeezed out by a hanging Sankakujime!

JH: It’s moves like that that have put this man into contention for the Dual Crown!

CM: Bah.

CL: A man who can choke people out with both his arms and his legs would be pretty useful up in here right now.

CM: A man who can, I believe the phrase is ‘Fuck Shit Up’ would be pretty useful right now. Hey, what d’ya know, here comes Prime to break Dough-boy’s neck!

And at the very least, he tries, grabbing Kiyoshi’s shoulders and driving them into the mat in sort of half a double powerbomb type of move, born not so much from a desire to stop Crackerjack getting choked out, but just to remove him from the predicament he found himself in, which might gain Prime himself the loss. The following pinfall is barely worth mentioning, as Crackerjack resets his grip while on the floor and gets on a high angle Crab Hold!

JH: Good Sweet Christ, What Power! Nakahata’s fighting it with all his strength but still he’s being bent into a perfect C shape!

CM: Yeah, yeah; the guy's getting stretched beyond all calamity, but it's not very INTERESTING, now is it? Ahh, here comes to XK. He’ll get beaten up in a more entertaining way.

A more entertaining way like reprising his Jumbo Tsuruta Impression, with the JAMPING KNEE, or Kao Dode, if you know Thai, but Crackerjack start bringing the spirit of a much more recent Takeshi Sugiura, with what would be a Suisa Otoshi, or a Waterwheel Drop if Crackerjack had anything that remotely resembled refinement in his fighting style. As it is, he just hurls XK over his shoulder after catching the knee, but hey, whatever works. Kiyoshi, who in the absence of the genes that would make him that kind of height has at least managed some kind of polish to his wrestling skills, and before Crackerjack can even think about turning back - possibly because he was listening to a fascinating talk on the relative benefits on having a girl with more than the tradition number of breasts - demonstrates a move taught to every self respecting would be puro-star, the German Suplex, complete with perfect bridge:

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Prime Makes the Save by Pulling Out Kiyoshi’s Legs!!!
[/align]

Pulling out his legs, and falling back so as to launch him chest first into the Team Giant Turnbuckles. Crackerjack follows, apparently unscathed from the original German with one of his own. Well, less of the Suplex, more of just grabbing him around the waist and the hurling across to the ring where the champion looks down at his stricken partner with a species of disdain as he tags in to rectify the situation.

CM: You’d have though the Hardcore Pussy would have learnt that the Kao Dude failed.

CL: You mean by finding a new way to Knee Crackerjack in the face like, I dunno, say the Kao Loi?

JH: If I didn’t know better, I’d say that all these blows to the head are at least starting to slow down Crackerjack.

A Uraken adds to his misery, but doesn’t take him down, just yet, but Crackerjack seems a little unwilling to see how much he can actually take of this, and tags in Prime, who charges in, with a Big Boot, which would have decapitated XK, had he actually been there. Xtreme Kitten has already side-stepped it and swung a Roundhouse Kick up to Prime’s head. The ‘Hardcore Pussy’ shows the Evolution of whatever it is this week three fingers, referring to the number of times Prime hasn’t taken the Dual Crown from him, and tags out, thanking Kiyoshi for the reminder, by showing him the same three finger.

JH: Love and respect for your fellow man. Gotta love it.

CM: Bitchen, remember this is Pro-Wrestling we’re talking about. What love? What respect? All there is Lariats and stuff.

Lariats there are, Kiyoshi steps in, rolls his shoulder and tries to Lariat Prime out of his boots. Prime takes it and demands another one! Kissing his bicep, Prime goes to unseat Kiyoshi’s own cranium, but…

CM: How the hell could he absorb that? His layer of pudgy doughy-ness?

Prime looks on as Kiyoshi collides again with a Lariat, although not forgetting to send his leg in as well for a Lariat STK Hybrid. A Scarf Hold follows:

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Three???

NOOO!
[/align]

Prime rolls the hold with sheer brute force, dragging the Judo Sensei to his feet and Backdropping him into Oblivion!

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Prime Breaks The Pin Himself!
[/align]

Not content with merely winning, Prime wants to assert his dominance over his DC Rival. Prime Press ought to do it, making sure to press the 260lb Judo Champion up towards each section of the crowd, before the time comes for at least a 12’ drop…

CM: Straight To Hell! STH, wow, I can name my moves like Kiyoshi.

CL: Two flaws, Chip. One, not your move, secondly, that actually is an STK!

Kiyoshi lands the Prime Press, somehow into an STK, and throws his head back as his hits the deck, mimicking the classic Shotei pose as he steps away, casting a glance towards Crackerjack, who by now is involved in a fascinating discussion with someone about something, but god only knows what. Nakahata snaps off a bow as Prime rises to one knee and gets decked with the Shining Samurai!!!

JH: Prime’s off the ropes be he’s not done just yet, he’s getting up…

CL: Straight Into The URANAGE!!!

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Three!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!
[/align]

MA: Here is your winner, the team of XTREME KITTEN & KIYOSHI NAKAHAATAAAAAA!!!

Rusty Nail picks up in the middle of the solo, as Kiyoshi sits back and slides himself towards his corner, but XK has already left, with Lucy, and the Dual Crown. Crackerjack has also left through the crowd, chatting as merrily as he can to no-one in particular; leaving the two challengers alone; Prime, throwing away medical attention glaring towards Kiyoshi, who stands up in his corner. All this happens without either man taking his eyes off the other…

JH: Kiyoshi Picks Up The Win, but now, with Prime bearing down on him, he still refuses to give even an inch!

CL: That was a huge win, but he can’t let that go to his head!

JH: That’s right, XK still looks on, and he still has the belts!

CM: Where does Prime go from here? He can’t just keep staring at Kiyoshi…

JH: No he can’t, but that’s all he can do until next week…

CL: Ahh, Next Week. You know the where, you know the when. You Wouldn’t Dare Fucking Miss It!!!
[align=center]Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image[/align]
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