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ReVolt; 06-29-07
Topic Started: Jun 30 2007, 01:34 AM (478 Views)
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

[align=center]The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal

With the bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal 'cuz

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fuckin' minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

la la la oo~oh la la la oo~oh la la la oo~oh

The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal

With the bass
The rock
The mic
The treble

I like my coffee black just like my metal 'cuz

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fuckin' minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I don't find it funny right now
Right now
I want my m-m-m-money right now
Now
I'm on my way to the party right now
Right now

I don't find it funny right now
Right now
I want my m-m-m-money right now
Now
I'm on my way to the party right now
Right now

Because the break
The break
THE BREAK

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.

I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me
Hit my
BADASS

I can't wait for you to shut me up
SHUT. IT. UP.
[/align]

[align=center]
Posted Image

Copyright 2007, Full Intensity Wrestling in associate with Sporkco. Studios[/align]
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

The camera gradually fades in from the opening package to the dark and gloomy room that is the arena’s boiler room. Only a few small sources of light are in the boiler room in the form of candles sitting on the desk that is the General Manager of FIW’s. Krähe is sitting behind the desk on his throne like seat in all of his mysterious and disturbing glory. The General Manager appears to be focusing on filing through some paper work that resembles legal documents and contracts.

Abruptly he pauses what he is looking through and turns around in his seat, looking over his shoulder at some thing to the side of the throne. The ever hulking frame of the man that is simply known as Lazaro kneels off to the side, his body hooked up to a machine by wires. This monster of a man currently appears to be in a sleep like state while hooked to the device that resembles a life support machine. Eerily the Head of Security raises his head and looks up at his master as if he could sense him looking at him.


Lazaro: kssshhhhhk... What is…kssshhhhhk... it… kssshhhhhk... my master?... kssshhhhhk...

The metallic mask wearing boss looks briefly at the pieces of paper in his hands again and then looks back at Lazaro.

Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Are you… kssshhhhhk... certain he…kssshhhhhk... hasn’t tried…kssshhhhhk... to make contact…kssshhhhhk... with us?... kssshhhhhk...

Rather stiffly the man formerly known as the skull cowboy nods his head to this question.

Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Good… kssshhhhhk... I don’t want…kssshhhhhk... any loose ends…kssshhhhhk... after I’m done…kssshhhhhk... with this... kssshhhhhk...

Disturbingly a robotic sounding cackle seeps out from underneath the helmet style mask Krähe is wearing.

Krähe: kssshhhhhk... One… kssshhhhhk... less demon…kssshhhhhk... to have to…kssshhhhhk... deal with…kssshhhhhk...

Without saying any more than that the General Manager resumes his work and the camera cuts to the ringside area...

CL: There’s a fuck load of people in this next match, Jesus it’s gonna be like watching a children’s bouncy castle.

JH: A lot of excellent high-flyers indeed.

CM: Yes, but you forget something…

CL: We have to put up with him.

As "Lose Control" by Evanesence turns on our normal closed gates at the entrance of our stage is open. Long black mesh looking material is draped around the gates. From the back exits our very own Zesboca Devani with a loose black scarf that almost matches the material on the gates. She twirls the material around her body doing a simple start of a belly dance for the crowd. She slides across the stage grabbing a hold of the material on the gates. As she dances and slides across the floor she pulls the material with her. The last bit of the material is yanked down and left on the floor a long with her scarf. She stands at the end of the stage above the steps staring at the crowd.

[align=center]"Just once in my life,
I think it'd be nice,
Just to lose control, just once,
With all the pretty flowers in the dust."[/align]

MA: The opening match of the evening is a three way falls count anywhere match! First hailing from Cairo, Egypt and weighing in at one hundred and fifty four pounds… ZEEESSSBBOOCAAA DDDEEEVVAAANNNIII!!!

Zesboca shakes her lower half with the rhythm of the song. Not taking the steps she jumps straight down from the stage. She spins dipping her body a little with her. Zesboca smirks and makes her way to the squared circle. She touches a few hands along the way mainly to the men that are rooting for her. Again she doesn't take the steps and slip in-between the last rope and the ring. Rolling up she greets the crowd by hanging on to the ropes and not the turnbuckles.

CL: First entry and the weakest link in this match.

JH: How so, I don’t think her actions recently are good, but she’s trying.

CL: She’s trying to be a crazy, psycho bitch.

CM: Trying? She jumped off a crane, she’s got more balls then most men.

The trumpets blast as "Get It Up" begins on the PA system. Shaun steps from the back and stops in front of the steps and takes a knee. Blue pyro fires from the ReVoltrons to the roof of the arena. He hops up to his feet and heads down the stairs to the ring. He talks trash and taunts the crowd as he bounces to the ring.

MA: …And her opponent! Hailing from Houston, Texas, weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds… SHHAAAUUNNN WWWIILLLLSSSOOOONNNN!!!

He runs up the stairs and climbs through the ropes. He climbs the middle turnbuckle and talks more trash to the crowd, he then raises both arms in the air. He jumps down and snatches off his hoodie tossing it out of the ring as he stretches.

JH: I can’t even describe how I feel about this man.

CL: Oh he lost his cool, don’t get all huffy.

CM: You said huffy? You call me gay?

CL: Fine, don’t get all up your ass.

The arena lights earn an amber glaze and an impossible amount of red sand, fog, and dust come blowing through the entryway. A vibrating arpeggio rips through our ear-holes to flashing stage strobes.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Mad awesome guitars burn into our faces and a few acid-green spotlights begin searching through all the amber, looking for the man who appears in the blowing sands.

MA: And there partner… making his way to the ring... he stands at five-feet, eleven inches and weighs in tonight at TWO hundred TWELVE pounds... he is your FLLYYYYYYCOOOOOORE CHAMPION! ... ... GRRRRRAAYYYYYYYYVEEERRRRRRR!!!

The Reject of Rejects steps from between the swirling red dust onstage into the clear, holding his title over his left shoulder and a water bottle in his right hand.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
He drinks deep, observing the crowd before his trek down the walkway to the ring. Graver finally reaches the end of his journey and takes another look around, dousing his head with some of the water to wash the grainy sand from it.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Graver walks over to the ring apron on the side where the cameras usually point. He finishes his water and tosses it into the crowd, climbing the apron and pausing before raising his arms and SCREEEAAAAAAAAAMING with unholy fury, raising fire from all four turnbuckles with explosive results!

[align=center]Posted Image

Posted Image[/align]
Graver enters the ring and hands his belt off to the ref, climbing a turnbuckle and making a few gestures to the fans before dismounting into his corner and awaiting the start of the match.

CL: A Man you can be proud of right there.

JH: …His past says it all, and my words.

Suddenly the lights cut out entirely, plunging the arena into darkness, and it doesn’t take long for a few very dark blue lights to start shining, drenching the fans and the ring in blue. Fog starts pouring out near the entrance way, shrouding it in mist, before long the entire arena is nearly engulfed in it. The dark blue lights flash green and red, and purple and then back to blue as a voice booms over the speakers.

[align=center]Turn me up!

Now I gotta murder da' murder ta' get away
The eyes gotta peer now the fool's gotta pay
And if they pay then they pay with they life
So watch another man try to hold on to his life

Cause' I keep lookin' and huntin' just like a lion
Let the sucka' know that it's them that be dyin'
I show no remorse to the source of the tales
And if they tell then the hungry better battle[/align]


”Another Body Murdered” starts playing as the curtain is whipped back. Extreme Ninja #2 walks out from behind the curtain, he is wearing his standard in-ring and entrance gear. Ninja looks around as the fans cheer him on before he lifts up his sign dramatically and it reads “Cheap pop comment here~!”

[align=center] Aw I keep it comin' and comin' across the table
And if I miss, I never miss, cuz I’m able
I'm lookin' forward and I'm lookin' over my shoulder
And I'll make a simple sin to make the bonus
But I'll never bless the rest, so never cease
I'll do a motherfucker with this restin' piece
Cause' what they saw they never seen or even heard of
And if they live, it's just another body murdered....
.....another body murdered....

I'm makin' deals for deals that make a kill
And anyone looking gonna' get that ass killed
I'm livin' like a criminal and criminal I be
And I'm respected in the hood like a 'G'
But if they think I'm blasted then they gone
I'm takin' off they're head with a motherfuckin' chrome
I gotta pay the play the pay ta' get crooked
And I ain't 'BOO' til' I dump another fool
I see the fool runnin' and runnin' but where they goin' ?
Had to witness my murder now they knowin'
What they blast so blast so at the pad
I'll have the thing fixed...My life was goin' in a flash....
If I went to say
that'd be my ass
Searching for these fools while stepping cross the squares
Cause they can't hide and hide and that's real
And what you just witnessed with your eyes got ta' kill....
.....another body murdered.....

Bang your head to this....

Turn me up!

Another body murdered! [/align]


MA: And there opponents… hailing from Detroit, Michigan…EEEXTTTRRREEEMMMEEE NNNIINNNJAAAAHHHH NNNUUMMMBBAAAHHHH TTWWWOOOUUHHH!!!

Ninja hurries down and slides into the ring and he wastes no time to march over to the corner. He hops up onto it and lifts his balled up hands up in the air. Majority of the fans cheer for him, including the group of fans in the front row dressed up like him hold up their signs which reads “Respect the Ninja!” and “Now 100% Smarty Free!”, and “Fear the Shining Stomp!” and bow to him. EN #2 hops off of the turnbuckle and the lights go up and Ninja flicks back his robe’s hood, revealing his mask fully, he casually undoes his robe’s tie to get ready for the match ahead.

JH: Ninja’s been on quite the streak since coming back, this is his chance to prove he can still fly with our best.

CL: Why fly? Just bash the hell out of someone with a damn chair.

JH: Some people use there ability, not weapons.

CM: He doesn’t use either, he uses his annoyingly bad looks, why else hide in a Ninja suit?

-The Screen turns blue as an electric tone plays, halfway between the sound of a substation and overflying aircraft, when the screen flashes-
NO WORDS
-the tone oscillating and gaining pitch before-
CAN DESCRIBE
-shattered by a dischordant but rhythmic guitar chord with an overlying drum beat that makes it visceral in it's intensity...-

Phyllis enters, a few wisps of smoke trailing behind him as his overcoat likewise spills outside, revealing the redness within... The sweat is visible on his forehead and black mesh suit...

He allows his fingers to trail the edge of the hands that reach from the crowd, but his eyes never leave the ring... there is something Manic within them, their stare too wide, unblinking, his breath uncommonly quick, a suggestion in both his manner and posture that suggesting frightening intensity... As he gets closer to the ring his agitation increases...

-The Hypnotic guitar riff plays on as an undertone evolves, seething beneath the surface and gaining urgency...-

Phyllis circles the ring, his pace quickening, his aggitation and enthusiam mirroring the change in the music... He suddenly darts for the ring, sliding the ropes and running at the turnbuckle-

MA: And there partner… PHYLLLIIISSSS BBBAAATTHHHOOORRRYYY!!!

-The undertone quickly becomes an overtone, dwarfing the original riff as inhuman howls match it with almost human words...-

Phylis runs up the ropes...

-the screen bursts into flames-

Phyllis tears off the Caple-like overcoat and snarls at the crowd...

-Humanesque shadows writhe in the flames as pitiful alien noises play accross the crackling of the fire... both sound and sight on the screen slowly fading to nothingness...-

After a few moments Phyllis leaps off the ropes and into the middle of the ring, twitching energetically as he waits for his opponent...

CL: Jonathon’s biggest wrestler here.

JH: Hell no, this guy scares me!

The arena’s lights fade to a dim darkness as “Becoming Insane” begins it’s steady techno beat, as it does red and white lights swirl around the arena until a big cheer is heard as from the entrance curtains jumps Justin Insane. He’s bouncing around to the beat as it kicks itself into overdrive and Justin jumps the steps and then runs towards the ring with super speed, sliding in to the ring, he slides to the other side just by the ropes and stands to a big pop from the crowd…

MA: And finally, there partner… Weighing in at one hundred and ninety two pounds… coming from Insaneville… he is the Insane Luchador! JUSTTTIIIIIINNNNNNNN SANNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

…As he hears the announcement he Hulk Hogan like rips the t-shirt from his body, then bounces up and down on the ropes in a fashion of a hyper-active person, really getting pumped as well as the fans before going to his respective corner and sitting down, awaiting the match to commence.

JH: The fan favorite tonight, Justin Sane.

CM: The retard should quit, just coming this far proves he’s a idiot, he’s gonna get his ass kicked.

As both teams stand together, Justin just rocking back and forth, Ninja looking towards Zesboca and Graver, Phyllis looking anywhere, Graver’s team is certainly ready to go as all three just stare at there opposition. As soon as the bell sounds both teams rush at each other, Shaun and Justin, Zesboca and Phyllis and Ninja and Graver, all three couples so to speak begin striking and hitting each other, causing chaos to instantly ensue as Justin and Shaun rumble to the outside after Justin hit’s a Hurricanrana and Graver and Ninja fall out, via a double takeover. This leaves Zesboca and Phyllis in the ring and the two really battle it out, until Zesboca takes him down with a crescent kick, instantly Phyllis drops to his ass.

JH: All out chaos instantly?

CL: It looks that way doesn’t it? Or am I seeing my dreams come true?

CM: Your dreams of three people beating on three people with weapons?

CL: Well no it’s your dieing, but can’t be fussy can we?

Instantly Zesboca keeps with the attack, punching down on the fallen Phyllis, before looking up, she boots down on Phyllis one last time before seeing the Justin Sane vs. Shaun punch up outside the ring, she grins before running to the ropes coming back and leaping the ropes hitting a springboard corkscrew splash raking herself and the mats outside as the fans go nuts for the action already.

JH: CORKSCREW SPLASH!

…But as this all unfolds so does the Graver and Ninja punch up, the pair really going at each other with strikes, before Ninja takes advantage with a stiff kick to the gut, Graver buckles over holding his stomach as Graver the rams his head into the ring apron before his attention turns to the ring and Phyllis steadily getting up, he slide sin the ring but then sees the other three standing, knowing he’ll get quite the pop, he runs at the ropes, comes back then LEAPS! Over the ropes onto the standing threesome with a suicide dive!

CL: SSSUUIIICCCDIIIAAAHHH DDDIIIIVVVEEEHH!!!!!

Now as those four climb to there feet steadily as the crowd are seriously buzzing like nothing ever before, suddenly Phyllis seems like he’s set to do something fancy, as he looks towards the crowd of wrestlers, but unknown to him Graver’s snuck on the apron facing the wrestlers and as Phyllis runs towards the crowd, Graver nails him with a knee to the rope making him drape through the ropes, but seeing this as a spot-fest opportunity, Graver drags Phyllis out onto the apron as he looks towards the standing pile of people…

JH: He wouldn’t!

CL: Ye she would!

CM: Who cares?!

…Graver lifts and as he does turns in mid lift turning towards the pile of people and power bombing Phyllis towards them all as they land on the pile of people all of them drop to the mats as the crowd goes absolutely ape shit. The wresters all slowly stumble around, trying to gain some footing, bat Phyllis who looks totally out as he lays over the mats.

JH: A god damn Powerbomb?

CL: See, he rules so bad makes me want to cry, if I could and my eyes had enough water.

CM: *Yawns* Huh? I need boobs, boobs will wake me up.

As the crowd of people begin to gain there feet, Justin seems first up as he looks over towards Graver, as he does, he sees Shaun Wilson is still on his fours, seeing this he grins and then runs, kips off Shaun’s back and in mid air corkscrew’s taking Graver down with a crazy ass corkscrew splash, all while this is happening Zesboca and Ninja are back in the ring. The pair look towards each other, friends once, but not for long seemingly as Zesboca runs at Ninja and begins firing strikes, but not for long as Justin runs in and from behind takes Zesboca down with a bulldog! As Zesboca land son the floor, she turns laying on her back…

JH: Justin’s gone hyper!

CM: Yeah but look at the shot he’s got of Zesboca’s clev…

JH: Chip!

CL: Cut him a break Jonathon, only tit he’s ever seen is himself after all.

Justin backs to the ropes, looking to come back for another maneuver but is caught by Graver who’s grabbed a chair and SMASHES! It over Justin’s spine making him drop forward onto hiss stomach, Ninja seeing Graver runs and baseball slides towards him, but Graver sees it coming and moves out of the way, as he does Ninja slides to his feet abruptly and as Graver throws the chair to Ninja who catches it, Shaun comes from the apron driving a knee right to the chair taking himself and Ninja down with a brutal Shining Wizard as they crash to the mats!

JH: Shining Wizard!

CL: Ok, even I have to say fuck what a shot.

As all that unfolds, Phyllis is to his feet as he stumbles to the ring apron and then he climbs in the ring as he’s face to face with Graver and Zesboca Devani, Graver having a chair in hand and Zesboca looking so ready to harm him, her intent activated as she boots him in the gut before turning to see Justin standing. She attempts to back flip into him but Justin sees it coming with a dropkick, nailing her in mid air and upside down as Graver then smashes the chair down on Phyllis, before releasing the chair and grabbing Phyllis, by the arm, wrapping it around his face and synching in a cobra clutch, wrenching away like a unmerciful bastard as Ninja and Justin see it, they clamber out of there current situation…

JH: Cobra Clutch, Phyllis looks like he’s gonna tap.

CL: That’s what happens when Graver gets you, your either fucked or choked.

CM: Ask Zesboca I suppose, she’d know.

Justin tries to get to Graver, but Zesboca’s ready for him as she kips up with a funky looking kick right to the jaw, knocking Justin back into the corner as Ninja on the other hand is rolled in the ring, runs straight through Zesboca with a forearm smash and then with a stiff as hell kick, connects with Graver’s skull, making him release the hold as he stumbles off of Phyllis who buckles and drops to his knees. As Ninja begins to hit a flurry of kicks into the cornered Graver, Zesboca runs at the cornered Justin but he ducks and rolls way as she crashes herself into the corner, turning Justin watches Ninja and just shrugs doing the same as both don’t see Shaun sliding in the ring, chair in hand that he slides towards Graver!

JH: Team Phyllis taking advantage!

CL: Not if he has anything to do with it, Mr. Black boy there.

CM: Makes a tear come to my eye, the sheer sliminess of it.

…Shaun wastes no time as he grabs Phyllis up and seeing the chair in front of him, brings him down with a electric chair DRIVER! Right onto the chair! As he then holds him or the cover! Fuzz drops for the cover to beginning the count…

JH: KNOCK THE FUCK OUT!

[align=center]ONE![/align]

…seeing this Justin and Ninja turn, but there stopped as Zesboca boots Justin right in the balls making him buckle over then squirm around as Graver grabs Ninja and quickly picks up the chair as he smashes the chair over his head taking Ninja down!

[align=center]TWO!

THREE!
[/align]

As the fans give off a mixed reaction, more boos to be honest Shaun raises his arm in success, prving his words were honest as he looks towards his team mates with a gin, as Graver and Zesboca look toward each other…

MA: Your winners! Via pinfall! The team of GRAVVVVERRRR!!! ZESSSBBOOOCAAA DEEEVVANNNIII!!! AND!!! SHHAAAUUNNN WWWIILLLLSSSOOOONNNN!!!

…As its called Zesboca and Graver make there exit from the ring, Zesboca following behind Graver, Shaun stays in the ring celebrating before booting Phyllis in the gut and making his leave, Justin and Ninja are pulling themselves to there feet as they watch there opponents leave, Justin checks on Phyllis.

The camera cuts backstage to the parking lot. We are greeted by none other than the goofy grin of Jeff Noon. He stands looking at the camera holding the micophone close to his chest like an ugly lesbian clinging to her vibrator. The look upon his face tells us that he's excited about something. Is it sexual? Is it interesting? Is it about another sneak peak at the live-action Transformers movie? All our questions are about to be answered, as Jeff begins to open his mouth.

Jeff: Jeff Noon here, back in the parking lot where I have an exclusive. Two weeks ago some two posh English people told us in a short video that some guy was arriving to FIW. Well in the next minute or so, Sir Collyberg Tuntuhtuntun will be arriving in this very arena. Although no-one really has a clue who he is, rumours are going around that he'll be a major impact in FIW. Like an elphant stomping into a childrens birthday party, or a pork scratching in a packet of crisps.

...What the fuck did he say? Fucking limey...

Jeff: Sir Corgi Totempole is a knight of the realm, which for the Americans basically means old Queenie made the posh man more high and mighty. But still, anyone that's in the same league and Sir Paul McCartney, and Lord Love Rocket can only be a plus.

Lord Love Rocket? Isn't that a porn star? Christ almighty. Mercifully, a car arrives in the car park behind Jeff Noon. It is a white Rolls Royce with black tinted windows. Even the fucking windscreen is tinted. Who the fuck would do that? Well, most likely this Sir Colbert dude. The car slowly comes to a stop, as Jeff stumbles over to it.

Jeff: Sir Colgate? Sir Colgate?

The driver of the car steps out the vehichle (weirdly, the driver's seat is on the wrong side...). The driver comes around to the side that Jeff is at, so the camera can take a good look at him. He is wearing a red velvet top with golden embroidery, and black trousers with white gloves. He's dressed literally as a beefeater, the guards of Buckingham Palace and so on. He even has a huge furry black hat. But none of that's what the camera's focusing on. It's too busy (along with Jeff) looking at the man's face. The man is, none other than General Kumar Singh, manager of Maj Tahal. He stands looking off into the distance.

Jeff: General...General Kumar Singh?

General: (English accent) Excuse me? I am Lord General Mortimer Igneous.

Jeff: ...what?

General: I am the sworn protector of Sir Colbert Tottington.

Jeff: Wait...if you're who that General dude is...then that means...

While Jeff is slowly coming to a realisation, "Lord General Mortimer" takes a hold of the back door's handle and interupts.

General: Introducing Sir Colbert Tottington!

The door opens, and out steps a man. He's wearing and very nice posh looking suit. And guess who the man is?

Yep, none other than Maj Tahal. He takes in a deep breath and looks to Jeff Noon smiling.


Jeff: Maj?!

Colbert: (English accent) I beg your pardon?

Jeff: Maj Tahal, what are you doing?

Colbert: Oh I get it. You're...common.

Colbert looks to the Lord General.

Colbert: Must be cockney rhyming slang. Let's see...what does Maj Tahal rhyme with...Tahal...darl? Is he refering to me as his "Darl"?

General: Must feel that you are such an amazing saviour to this company, sir, that you're a darling to his heart.

Sir Colbert looks to Jeff, who's still utterly confused by the situation.

Colbert: Oh, then that's very Robin Hood of you.

Jeff: ...what?

Colbert: Robin Hood - Good. I'm speaking your talk.

Jeff: Maj, I'm confused. Why are you dressed up like this and talking like that?

Colbert: ThaT.

Jeff: Huh?

Colbert: ThaT. Pronounce the T at the end. It's not silent, and so you should dictate it like any other letter.

Jeff: Tha....T

Colbert: That's better. Now I am dressed like this because I can afford it, my good man, and I speak like this because I was brought up speaking the Queen's English. I appreciate this company trying to have someone of our own country greet us, but I would've thought that they woud've of gotten someone with a less primitive...aesthetic

Jeff: Now I know what that is! It's that stuff in walls that kills people.

Colbert: ...that's asbestos.

Jeff: Oh...

Colbert: Listen I really don't have much Larger and Lime (time) so I'll go up the Apples and Pears (stairs) and have a Butcher's hook (look) around. I'll sign a few Linen Drapers (papers) and arrange a Hairy Snatch (match) for next week. So if you don't mind, I don't have time to answer 20 questions by a man that looks like a Cousin Kyle.

Sir Colbert then suddenly walks off. Jeff looks even more confused than ever.

Jeff: Cousin Kyle?

General: Paedophile.

Camera cuts out.
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

"Good Time" by Leroy hits the PA system and the team with no name make their way out from the backstage area, each carrying their own kendo stick. They go to opposite sides of the stage and nod to each other, before running to the middle and doing a jumping highfive. A couple of highfives later and the two are walking down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans behind the barrier. the team with no name spring off in opposite directions around the ring, slapping hands with the fans in the first row, making their way all the way around the ring. Meeting back up at where they started they instruct each other to go the opposite way, doing the exact same thing as before except slapping hands with the fans on the other side. After enough handslapping merriment Jacko slides in under the ring and Ash makes his way in by ducking under the top rope. The masked lumberjack makes his way over to the turnbuckle and mounts it, playing to the crowd for cheers in return, while Ash remains by the ropes taunting the crowd with Hogan like mannerisms. After horsing around enough, they hand over their weapons to Michael Anderson who hands them over to a stage hand on the outside.

MA: “The following match is scheduled for one fall, and will be contested in a triple threat environment, wherein the winner will be given the chance to cane the loser with a kendo stick. Currently standing in the ring at this time, Ash Koopa, weighing in at 263 lbs., meanwhile El Lumberjacko weighs in tonight at thirty seven pancakes and a half. They are…THE TEAM WITH NO NAME!

The crowd responded positively to the duo, cheering both Ash and Jacko as the music switches over to “Black Feather Orchestra” by X. As usual, Daisuke has yet to appear, relying solely on ninja tactics to make his entrance. The lights go out, and when they come back on, he appears, but not in a way he’d like. Instead of getting the upper hand, he finds himself in between both Ash Koopa and El Lumberjacko.

Before the bell can even ring, or Michael Anderson can finish his ring introductions, the team begins to clobber one third of the Tanaka Zaibatsu with forearms and punches. They simultaneously whip him into the opposite ropes with an irish whip and on the return take him over with a double hiptoss. Not giving him any time to rest, The Team With No Name lifts Daisuke up from the canvas. Ash slams him back down with a scoop slam, and El Lumberjacko follows it up with a senton splash onto Tanaka. He gets to his feet after the move and looks to pick up Daisuke, but is met with a kick to the head. As Ash moves in to help out his partner, he too is met with a stiff kick to the head. Daisuke springs up from the mat and takes El Lumberjacko down with a second kick. He turns back to Ash who has almost recovered from the previous kick, only to be met with a series of palm strikes that knocks him off his feet. Daisuke quickly goes for the cover and the referee follows pursuit with a count.

[align=center]1!


2!


NO, EL LUMBERJACKO BREAKS UP THE COUNT![/align]


CM: “Damnit. Why can’t they keep that porky little fucker out of the ring?”

JH: “He’s in the match, Chip.”

CL: “Can’t we get some blood or something? Maybe a chair shot?”

You’re not going to win it that quick, and a reassuring leg drop to the back of your neck is enough evidence of that, as El Lumberjacko shows Daisuke. He hits a few forearms to soften him up a little more, before taking him over with a hurracanrana. Ash soon finds his footing again and makes his way over to the two. He ushers El to back away so he can get in his shots, and his partner allows him some space. The Koopamaniac lays into Daisuke with right hands, then knocks him back down with a bionic elbow.

El Lumberjacko climbs to the top of the nearby turnbuckle, shouting out at Ash to set him up. Ash lifts Daisuke into the air with a vertical suplex, and as he does so El jumps off the turnbuckle, connecting with the midsection of Daisuke in mid-flight using a cross body as Ash falls backwards with the suplex. Ash makes it back to his feet first and turns to grab Daisuke once again, except he’s quickly caught in a small package out of nowhere.

[align=center]1!


2!


NO, ASH KICKS OUT!
[/align]

Out of luck, Daisuke gets up from the canvas and goes to head over to the ropes, but a hand reaches out and grabs his foot. That hand being Ash Koopa’s, he lands a solid punch to the gut of Daisuke and gets to his feet. He grabs him by the arm and whips him in the direction of El Lumberjacko who is poised to attack. The face of Daisuke meets nothing but boot, as El Lumberjacko rushes forward and nails him with a hard yakuza kick that sends him spinning around back in the direction of Ash. The Koopamaniac scoops him up and drops him head first with the Koop De Grace, following afterwards with a pin.

[align=center]1!


2!


3!
[/align=center]

MA: “Here is your winner, ASH KOOPA!

CM: “Oh great, another win for that doofus.”

JH: “That doofus just got a win over Daisuke and is looking forward to another tag-team title shot.”

CL: “Stop being a know it all, Jonathan.”

El Lumberjacko exits the ring relieving the stage hand on the outside of their kendo sticks, then re-enters the ring and hands Ash his. He wraps both hands around the base of his tree trunk like weapon, while Ash goads Daisuke into getting up as he aims directly for his head. The leader of the Tanaka Zaibatsu turns full force into a kendo stick shot from Ash, that sees the end of the stick almost shatter from the impact. He stumbles towards El Lumberjacko who levels him with another shot, and he stumbles back into Ash’s range. Taking careful consideration into this next shot, he reels back and levels Daisuke with a second shot, that leaves him out cold on the mats. Before The Team With No Name can get in any more shots on Daisuke, the rest of the Tanaka Zaibatsu rush to the ring. Mr. Blond and Momoko crash the party, going straight for Ash and El. Mr. Blond is the first to get it, with a kendo stick shot from Ash right to the side of the head. Momoko gets it too, as El Lumberjacko levels her with a shot from his kendo stick to the skull. As these four battle it out, Daisuke manages to slip out of the ring and land on the outside mats, lying there still. Momoko and Mr. Blond after taking several more shots, scurry out of the ring, helping their leader to his feet and up the ramp, as The Team With No Name stare them down with their weapons held still in their hands.

CM: “That should be a disqualification. Attacking the Tanaka Zaibatsu like that!”

CL: “Damn, they really got their asses handed to them. No blood still though.”

JH: “Stop blood lusting, Constance. And Chip, the match is already over, they can’t be disqualified. Plus the stipulations stated that afterwards the loser is caned.

FIW’s ever roaming camera sweeps into a scene right outside the make shift office of Doctor Jim McCoy when the door opens. A familiar figure takes a step into the door way and looks back into the office when a muffled voice rings out, he nods his head and bows to whoever spoke. Ninja closes the door behind him and tilts his neck from left to right to crack it, clutching at it slightly. Casually Extreme Ninja #2 walks away from the medical office and heads towards the locker rooms area of the backstage section of the arena.

The crowd falls to a murmuring buzz in the lull of action. Some look around at one another expecting something to happen in order to fill this now vacant space in the show. A few more seconds lag on before a sudden burst though the PA brings the crowd to their feet in a state of shock. Surely it can’t be that man….can it? He has all but fallen off the face of wrestling. Yet from behind the curtain containing the lost souls of those men and women that don the title of superstar emerges the face of the missing in action superstar. He appears on the stage in street clothes, garbed in nothing spectacular in fact quite the opposite as he stands only sheathed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a simple, clean and very snug white wife beater. Despite being dressed no more elegantly than a man fresh from collecting his latest well-fare check down by the trailer park, the plainness of the outfit seems to only embolden the sheer presence of the man. Fans are torn from their still long held hate for the man and the need to cheer the return of a true in ring warrior. Some cheer while other give him a resounding series of boos that seems to echo throughout the rafters. Still frozen like a marble statue he takes them all in, the jeers and the praise equally as if simply soaking in the simple fact that he is back inside a wrestling arena. The man on the stage provoking such a wide spectrum of reaction from the crowd? Why that man is none other than Drake Love.

[dohtml]<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hr5pPcgW5uc"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hr5pPcgW5uc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600" height="350"></embed></object>[/dohtml]

[align=center]This is what I brought you, this you can keep.
This is what I brought, you may forget me.
I promise to depart just promise one thing.
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
[/align]

Drake stands afixxed on the stage as he simply stares out into the sea of FIW fans.

[align=center]This is what I brought you, this you can keep.
This is what I brought, you may forget me.
I promised you my heart just promise to sing.
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
[/align]

Drake shoots out his left arm sending a spray of pyros rippling down his left side. Drake keeps the left arm extended before shooting out his right arm which also ignites a stream of pyros exploding in a line. Drake then raises both arms high into the air and pyros erupt from both sides, this time all at once instead of the streams as before.

[align=center](Oh-uh, Oh-uh,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
(Oh-uh, Oh-uh)
[/align]

With a smug look of self satisfaction Drake slowly begins to make his way down to the home we know as a wrestling ring.

[align=center]This is what I thought, I thought you’d need me.
This is what I thought, so think me naive
I'd promised you a heart, you'd promise to keep.
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
[/align]

Stepping inside of the ring Drake takes a moment to look around to the crowd as his music continues on a loop over the PA system.

[align=center](Oh-uh, Oh-uh, )
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
(Oh-uh, Oh-uh,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to...sleep.
(Oh-uh, Oh-uh)
[/align]

Finally the music dies down and the crowd noise dies down to a slight buzz. Drake requests a mic which he is promptly provided. A few smacks to the top ensures Drake that the mic is in fact operational and he raises the stick to his mouth region preparing to bless the arena with a few words from the Gospel according to Drake.

Drake: Hello FIW fans. So let’s get right down to it shall we? I won’t bore you with senseless preamble and elusive babble regarding nothing. I will answer the number one question on everyone’s mind right now. Where the hell has Drake Love been at? Now that is a very interesting question and one I plan on answering. You see I have had a lot of wear and tear on my body as of late and in fact required a knee surgery. A bad wheel that needed a new hubcap if you will. I got cut open and had my ligaments all snazzed up and jazzed down as they say in the medical profession, and am just finishing my healing process. Which presents to the second question burning in those bright little hat holders of yours. When is Drake Love coming back to step in to some action. Now some of you want me to come back to see Elrick pound me up or perhaps I still have a few fans that wish to see me take that FSC Title away from Sean Madrox. However I know that whatever your loyalties or preference that each and everyone of you want Drake Love back in the ring.

Drake lowers the mic from his mouth and awaits a huge crowd response either positive or negative. It seems that Drake doesn’t care what reaction he gets from the crowd as long as he gets a loud one. When silence meets him, Drake is clearly agitated from the lack of feedback from the live crowd.

Drake: Ok then. Perhaps not what I was expecting but that’s ok. I know that deep down in your hearts you really want to spend money on the Milehigh Madman. This by the way is a great place to plug the fact that the behind the scenes DVD of my life, “Killing Careers and Climbing Mountains of Madness”, is on sale right now at FIW.Com. An interesting sidebar is that I named the title myself. Anyways, the point is that in less than a month yours truly will be back aweing and amazing you with my spectacular arsenal of moves. I even have a very special submission move I plan on bringing into the FIW when I get back. It will be a very painful maneuver to say the least. And let me go ahead and clear the air right here about my intentions. I want the FSC Title around my waist. I haven’t given up that quest just merely diverted from my goals. I don’t care which chump has that belt when I come back, I just want that fool to know he had better be looking over his shoulder. Now ladies and gentlemen, I said what needed to be said and I hope you all enjoy your evening.

Drake opens his hand wide open to drop the mic down to the canvas. In that same arrogant posture that he arrived with he also uses to exit as well. A cocky smirk seems engraved into his face as he makes his way up the rampway with a stare into the crowd.
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

MA: The following Hellcats Tag Team Contest is scheduled for one fall and it will be an ARMs DIVISION BRA AND PANTIES MATCH!

CM: Whoo-hoo! Time for some bra and panties!

CL: Time for some ARMs Division!

JH: Well, hell. What can I say? Oh! Time for the ladies to show everyone that girls can wrestle!

Pause for the crowd to pop. Some for the bra and panties portion, some Horrorcore fanatics popping for the ARMs Division portion. Then there are just some women’s wrestling fans popping for the Hellcats portion. And I think Drake is popping for the Jaime Lee’s Team portion. ‘Cuz she’s awesome. Hey, who said that?!

[align=center]I’ve got the stuff that you want
I’ve got the things that you need
I’ve got more than enough
To make you drop to your knees
‘Cuz I’m the queen of the night
The queen of the night
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
[/align]
As “Queen of the Night” by Kelly Clarkson pounds through the speakers, Jaime Lee skips out onto the stage and raises her steel chair over her head to a round of cheers from the crowd. She backpedals slightly, holding the chair up for the jam-packed arena to read the word “SEXY” has been imprinted on it . She hurries down the stairs, skipping her way towards the ring, letting the crowd capture her attention more than they probably should.

MA: Making her way to the ring from Aurora, Ohio… JAIME LLLEEEE!!!!!

Jaime slides in underneath the bottom rope, using the middle rope to pull herself up to her feet. She drops her chair in the corner before jumping up to the second turnbuckle and pumping a fist into the air. She leaps down to the canvas and backs into her corner, reclaiming her weapon.

CM: Awww. Pants. Where’s her cute skirts? I officially hate bra and panty matches now.

JH: Don’t fall asleep yet, Chip. They may get ripped off.

CL: Why did you tell him that? Now he’s going to stay awake. And talk.

As the opening sirens to Hadouken’s “That Boy That Girl” hit the speakers the arena is plunged into darkness. Bright yellow strobes begin to randomly search the auditorium but we all know where they’re going to land. As the vocals kick in the strobes group together on the entrance and illuminate the world’s greatest Australian luchadora, La Lesbiana Fantascia!
She appears with one arm thrust into the air, clinging to an awesome chair (or so the writing upon it would indicate), to roaring cheers from the FIW crowd. With the arena still blacked out and only the strobes bringing any light to the proceedings, Lesbiana skips down the steps and bounces her way along the aisle. Upon reaching the ring she climbs up onto the apron and heads for the nearest turnbuckle, which she quickly scales and holds her chair up to yet more cheers. She leaps over the ropes and pelts across the ring to the opposite turnbuckles, climbing them in a split second and repeating the performance.
As she drops back into the ring the lights come back up and the music slowly fades, and the lucahdora extraordinaire begins some last minute strategizing with Jaime Lee.

MA: Her tag team partner, in the ring from somewhere along the Australian/Mexican border, she is LA LESBIANA FANTASTICCCCAAAAA!!!!!

JH: No unusual attire for Lesbiana tonight.

CM: That’s not true. She’s wearing underwear tonight. I’d prefer that she didn’t.

The eerie opening tunes of Vamp’s theme song hits on the PA system… Vamp walks threw the stage curtains with her steel chain and her ghoulish companion, Libussa The Defiled, at her side and looks out apathetically to the people in attendance... She exhales a visibly ice-cold breath and saunters down the aisle with Libussa in tow as her olive drab overcoat sways from her arrogant gait.

MA: And their opponents, first being accompanied to ring by Libussa, about to enter the ring, from Central Romania… VAAAMMMMPPP!!!!

Vamp slides gracefully into the ring, as her ghoul takes her rightful position at ringside, before skipping up to her feet and pirouettes as she stands up straight. The enigmatic Romanian saunters over to the ropes, leaning over them with that same apathetical gaze to the audience as she exhales another visibly ice cold breath from her mouth... Eventually, she decides to walk back over to her corner for the announcements to begin.

CL: Who is this?

JH: Vamp.

CL: She’s still here?

JH: It would appear so.

CL: Oh. Okay.

The house lights begin to go out in succession, one section at a time leading up to the stage, as a low, rhythmic hum accompanied by chanting voices rattles through the speakers. A dim red light flickers to life behind the entrance, lending an erratic pattern to the smoke that begins to swell, clouding the stage with an erie glow.

At that point, a strong guitar riff hits the speakers and a moment later, the drums join in as a bright flash of red and silver pyros light up each side of the stage, showcasing the silhouette of a woman spinning around on a pole. The crowd goes nuts wondering what this new version of Kailey will do this time.


[align=center]Hey you, hey you, devil's little sister
Listening to your twisted transistor
Hold it between your legs
Turn it up, turn it up
Low end is coming through
Can't get enough
[/align]

Kailey holds on to the pole with one hand and dips her hips low, then slowly pulls her body back up hips first. She grips the pole with both hands and power pumps her hips against the pole in time with the last line.

[align=center]A lonely life, where no one understands you
But don't give up, because the music do
Music do, music do, music do, music do, music do, music do
[/align]

Violently, Kailey pushes the pole away from her and it falls hard, sending out loud metal crashes and clanks that reverberate through the arena. Never looking back, she struts to the ring keeping her footfalls timed to the music.

MA: And finally, making her way to the ring from Nashville, Tenneesee… she is KAILEY LLLAAAAANNNNNE!!!!

[align=center]Because the music do and it's reaching
Inside you forever preaching
Fuck you, too, your scream's a whisper
Hang on you twisted transistor
[/align]

She reaches the ring and straddles the bottom rope, sliding her arms along the length of the rope and wrapping her hands around it as she writhes her hips against the taut fibers before pulling her other long leg into the ring. She parades around the ring, lifting up her hands, encouraging the crowd to get louder.

[align=center]Hey you, hey you, finally you get it
The world ain't fair, eat you if you let it
And as your tears fall on
Your breast, your dress
Vibrations coming through
You're in a mess
[/align]

She jumps onto the ropes in her corner and raises her fists high above her head while yelling and backtalking those in the crowd who don't seem to approve of this "new" Kailey. When her music fades, she hops down from the ropes, ready for action.

CM: I never get tired of seeing that entrance. Never ever.

JH: Nothing wrong with the entrance. Or the lady in it. Her attitude could use some realignment, however.

CL: Jonathan, I couldn’t count the number of good girls gone bad if I included every appendage on my body. Why are you always surprised and disappointed when it happens?

JH: I just expected more from Kailey, that’s all. But wait. If I’m not mistaken, Kailey didn’t bring a weapon to this match.

Logan Black keeps the two teams at bay, singling out Miss Kailey Lane and bringing up the obvious question. Kailey puts a hand on his chest, pushing him back and wagging a finger in his face. She places a stilettoed heel on the middle rope, drawing her skirt up just a little to reveal a leather strap wrapped around her leg garter-style. She unwraps it, standing tall and eyeing her opponents as she playfully paddles her other hand.

CM: Seeeeeexyyyyyyy!

JH: Oh geez. I suppose you want her to spank you with that.

CL: Ew. That’s sick, Hitchen. Just stop it.

Logan signals for each team to select a starter competitor, which they all do. Team Sexy Awesome selects Jaime Lee, while Kailey turns her nose up and exits the ring. Whatever, is Vamp’s expression as she shrugs her shoulders and steps forward with her steel chain in both hands. At the sound of the bell, Vamp unleashes the chain, aiming right at Jaime’s head. Luckily Jaime ducks and raises up with a knee to Vamp’s midsection.

JH: Vamp isn’t holding back with that steel chain. She was ready to take Jaime’s head off with it.

CL: Yes, I believe it’s called wanting to win.

Jaime takes a step back and slams the sexy chair onto Vamp’s back! The creature of the night crumbles to the canvas, arching her back in pain before pushing up to her hands and knees. Jaime stays on her, sending a hard kick into Vamp’s ribs, sending her spiraling along the canvas. Jaime drops her chair and cartwheels the distance between her and Vamp, landing in an elbow drop across Vamp’s chest!

JH: Impressive cartwheel into an elbow drop from Jaime.

CL: I preferred the steel chair action but whatever floats your boat.

CM: Any bras or panties yet?

The spunky brunette gets back to her feet and tags in her masked tag partner. The blonde luchadora climbs into the ring and helps her partner lift their opponent to her feet. Jaime runs off the ropes, Lesbiana holding her awesome chair up for Jaime to DROPKICK INTO VAMP’S FACE!

CL: Teeth! I saw teeth flying!

JH: Did they have fangs on them?

CL: That’s very stereotypical, Jonathan. You should apologize for that remark.

Jaime grabs up her sexy chair and exits the ring willingly at Logan Black’s command. Meanwhile, Lesbiana makes quick work of removing Vamp’s shirt from her possession. Lesbiana swings it around her head as the crowd cheers for Team Sexy Awesome getting a step closer to victory.

CM: Whoo! La Lesbiana Fantastica is my hero! Now make out with her.

JH: For goodness sake, Chip! This is a wrestling match!

CM: What? She’s a lesbian. And Vamp is shirtless. What’s she waiting for?

JH: She’s a lesbian, not you.

She goes for the pants next but before she can get them removed, Kailey barrels into the ring and boots Lesbiana in the back! Lesbiana points and complains about the illegal participant and her spiky heels nearly puncturing a hole in her Australian/Mexican body but Kailey is already out of the ring before Black can tell her to do so.

CM: Kailey! She was gonna let me see what Vamp’s wearing under those too tight pants. Assuming she wears anything under there.

JH: I don’t think Kailey cares what Vamp is wearing or not wearing as the case may be. She’s just keeping her team alive by keeping Vamp clothed.

Lesbiana lifts Vamp back up to her feet and pushes Vamp back-first into the ropes. She rebounds, right into a simple chair shot to the face! Lesbiana grins under her mask, smacking the trusty chair and raising it up for a round of cheers from the crowd. She tosses the chair aside and jumps over Vamp’s body, springing off the middle rope and splashing into Vamp’s midsection with a moonsault! She immediately springs back to her feet, spinning around and nailing Vamp with a standing moonsault!

JH: Amazing series of moonsaults from Lesbiana! I don’t think Vamp’s had any offense since this contest started.

CL: I’m not surprised for some reason. I just can’t put my finger on it.

CM: Is it because she likes to be undressed? What?! It could be.

The masked luchadora takes a moment to enjoy the crowd’s appreciation of her talents before climbing back to her feet. She goes and tags Jaime back into the match, both ladies drawing Vamp back up. They both whip her off the ropes, inadvertently allowing Kailey to tag into the contest. Vamp rebounds and gets double boots in the midsection. But Kailey comes flying into the picture, tackling Lesbiana with a flying lariat.

JH: Flying lariat by Kailey Lane! Lesbiana just saw life in the fast lane there.

Jaime hesitates a moment before grabbing Vamp by her hair and flinging her onto her back with a takedown! She kicks the now illegal participant from the ring and turns her attention on the former champion. Jaime grabs Kailey in a waistlock to prevent anymore attack on Lesbiana, but Kailey reaches back and grabs Jaime by the head, SITTING OUT WITH A JAWBREAKER!

CM: Look at Kailey go! She’s taking on both members of Team Sexy Awesome by herself!

JH: And doing a pretty good job thus far. But can she keep it up?

Kailey is back to her feet in an instant, spotting Lesbiana with the same idea. Kailey spins, kicking Lesbiana upside the head and knocking the luchadora from the ring. Unfortunately for her, it allows Jaime a chance to recover as quick as she can. Kailey turns right into a spinning thrust kick to the stomach-- No! Kailey catches Jaime’s foot and yanks her down into the splits!

CM: Ouch! But sexy!

JH: Certainly has to be an uncomfortable predicament for Jaime.

Kailey follows up the uncomfortable predicament by blasting Jaime upside the head with a stilettoed boot! She grabs Jaime by the shirt and disrobes the woman, exposing her black bra (accented with pink and lined with white lace, in case you were wondering). Despite them not being particularly fond of her attitude lately, Kailey gives the crowd something to cheer for.

CM: Whoo! Kailey, my new hero! Now get those pesky pants off. Let’s see the bottoms!

CL: If I’ve figured out Kailey’s twisted mind, and I think I have, I believe she has something more interesting in mind.

Kailey heads back over to her corner, snatching up her leather strap and pulls it tight before WHACKING Jaime’s exposed back with the leather! The spunky brunette rolls across the ring, trying to avoid every stinging lash Kailey inflicts on her.

JH: Good Sweet Christ! Kailey is lighting up Jaime’s flesh with that leather strap. You can hear it all the way back here.

CM: Dayam! There’s something so erotic about this right now.

CL: Hell yeah there is! Jaime’s gonna have welts when Kailey’s done.

She pulls Jaime back up, using the leather strap to snapmare her back down to the canvas and then drives a knee into Jaime’s spine before pulling her back in a chinlock! Jaime struggles as best she can, obviously favoring her back as she does so.

CM: And I’m asleep now. Oh wait! Look at Jaime’s--

JH: CHEST!

CM: Yeah, yeah. Look at that sticking out. Seeeexy.

CL: An aptly applied chinlock, with the knee in the back for extra punishment. Can’t see anything wrong with it.

Kailey grits her teeth as she wrenches the hold in harder, driving her knee deeper into Jaime’s back. At least, until Lesbiana returns to the ring. She grabs Kailey by her blonde locks and yanking her off of Jaime. She grabs Kailey up in a front facelock but finds her own legs taking out from under her thanks to a double leg takedown from Kailey! Kailey follows it up by pulling Lesbiana’s pants off in one swipe!

CM: AH! Lesbiana’s panties! I can see Lesbiana’s panties! Aw, I love Kailey!

JH: Kailey’s trying to win this thing on her own.

CL: And doing a much better job than Vamp did.

Lesbiana quickly tries to hide her exposure from the live crowd before realizing that she wore some nice panties to the ring tonight. So it’s all cool in the hood, at least for now. Especially since there’s a match that needs finished up. Kailey has already turned her back on the luchadora though, turning right into a spinning back roundhouse from Jaime that catches Kailey under the chin!

CL: Excellent execution! I played that off for luck last time but Jaime’s precision was spot on again.

JH: She almost knocked Kailey’s head off with that kick. Did you see her head snap back?

CM: Yeah! Now strip her!

Kailey tumbles across the canvas, attempting to shake the stars from her eyes as she reclaims her feet. Vamp steps on the bottom rope and reaches over, slapping Kailey on the back! She hops into the ring and rushes Jaime, getting throw in the air with a back body drop!

CL: Annnnd I’m not surprised.

Lesbiana hurries over to Kailey, pushing her through the ropes and causing her to smack the ringside mats. Jaime catches Vamp as she gets back to her feet, wrenching her arm up with an arm wringer and walks her to the turnbuckle. Jaime climbs to the top rope, agilely walks the cord before leaping onto Vamp’s shoulders and throwing her across the ring with a hurracanrana!

JH: That’s So Jaime! A perfect hurracanrana from the top rope!

CM: Come on! Strip someone already! It’s been almost a minute since someone’s been exposed!

Lesbiana is already on the apron, springing herself up onto the top rope just as Vamp tumbles to a stop on the canvas. Facing toward the crowd and not looking back, Lesbiana executes a picture perfect moonsault onto the laid out Vamp!

JH: And now an Askani Moonsault from Lesbiana!

CL: They’re pretty much slaying Vamp here tonight.

Both Jaime and Lesbiana grab onto Vamp’s leather pants, pulling them off to win the match. Or at least that was the plan. But Kailey is already back into the ring. She smacks Jaime across her exposed back with the leather strap and then nails Lesbiana upside the head with a back elbow!

CM: Oh yeah! Strap time again, ladies!

Kailey throws the leather strap away and grabs Jaime in a front facelock, snapping her over with a suplex, driving the girl’s sore back into the canvas once again. She raises up with a stiff elbow that catches Lesbiana before she can fully recover from the back elbow. She grabs Lesbiana with front facelock, setting her up with a suplex that places her destination across Jaime‘s prone body.

JH: Watch out! She’s gonna suplex Lesbiana right onto Jaime!

Lesbiana kicks her feet, slipping out of the suplex and landing on her feet moments after Jaime rolls aside. Kailey spins around to get double booted in the stomach from Jaime and Lesbiana. Team Sexy Awesome grab Kailey by her arms and whip her across the canvas. Kailey rebounds and BOOTS LESBIANA IN THE FACE! She throws an elbow that catches Jaime in the temple before throwing a roundhouse at Lesbiana that takes her down the canvas! Without missing a beat, Kailey grabs Jaime by the back of her hair and THROWS HER ONTO THE BACK OF HER HEAD!

CL: Hell, no one can say Kailey’s not giving a valiant effort tonight.

JH: Valiant effort? She’s basically wrestling a handicap match here tonight and if you ask me, she’s on the winning end at the moment.

CL: But how long can it last, really?

Kailey stands tall amongst the four competitors, taking in deep breath after deep breath. Jaime and Lesbiana are both already forcing themselves back to their feet before Kailey can take one out. Instead, she grabs her nearby (laid-out) partner Vamp. Kailey stands the dazed woman up AND NAILS HER WITH A SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE KICK! Before Vamp even has a chance to suffer from the impact, Kailey is already pushing off her foot moments after it touches the mat and NEARLY KICKING VAMP’S HEAD OFF WITH A CRESCENT KICK!

JH: What in the bloody hell?!

CL: Double-crossed. I can’t say I’m surprised. Kailey’s tank was starting to run dry from wrestling this match on her own.

Both Jaime and Lesbiana (along with the entire live audience) watch in amazement as Kailey slips from the ring and heads up the walkway. She never looks back, heading up the stairs and leaving through the curtain.

CM: She’s not leaving, is she? She hasn’t lost any clothes yet! Come back!

JH: Looks like Kailey’s had enough. She’s telling Vamp “See ya”.

Vamp slowly but surely begins to stir on the canvas. Rolling over to her stomach, she eventually pushes up to her hands and knees, seemingly using every ounce of strength she has. Jaime and Lesbiana share a single glance before simultaneously grabbing up their sexy and awesome (respectively) chairs. One knee Vamp gets to and then she pushes up to both feet with a triumphant grunts.

WHACK!

JH: GOOD SWEET CHRIST!

CL: I love it when girls get sick like that. So hot.

Jaime and Lesbiana squash Vamp’s noggin by whacking their chairs together around
her head! Vamp seems to linger a moment before she falls, almost in slow motion, crashing into the canvas. Jaime and Lesbiana grab Vamp’s pants and yank them off with ease! The bell sounds and the crowd goes crazy as Jaime and Lesbiana have won the match!

MA: Here are you winners… JAIME LEE and LA LESBIANA FANTASTICA!

JH: Team Sexy Awesome remains undefeated!

CM: But but but but! They didn’t beat Kailey! I didn’t see her bra or panties!

JH: Kailey forfeit the contest! She walked out.

Logan Black raises Team Sexy Awesome’s hands in victory and the two ladies share a quick hug with one another. They pull apart, coming to the realization that both have clothes missing. With Lesbiana assuring her it‘s entirely alright, Jaime decides to resume jumping up and down in celebration.

CM: Oh. All is forgiven. Keep jumping, Jaime! Good Lesbian…a.

Jorge is filming a pair of long legs that as he pans the camera upward we find belongs to FIW’s interviewer, Rebecca Hunter. Miss Hunter is striding down a hall way in her high heels with a purpose it would seem by the look on her face. Sharply she turns down the hall way and goes to the right as she sways her hips from to and fro temptingly. Abruptly she stops when she comes upon a door that reads “Boiler Room”, otherwise known as the General Manager’s door. Politely she knocks on the door while the camera fades to black…
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

MA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the Bareknuckle Boxing match! Where the only way to win is to either knock your opponent out or force them to call it quits.

The guitars of “Alive And Kicking” blast over the PA system as the crowd stir and stare toward the stage…

[align=center]I'm Stronger Now Even After Everything That You Did
Still Alive And Kicking
I'm Better Now, I'm Awake
Now I Can See, Everything In Front Of Me (Now)
[/align]
…The crowd roar as Elrick appears on the entrance stage, he raises his arms. Elrick then walks towards the ring wearing his casual gear, he high fives some fans hands as they cheer and some rock out to “Alive And Kicking” stopping half way he points up towards the rafters signaling respect for his father.

MA: Here is your special guest ringside enforcer, ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRICK!

He gets to the ring and climbs up to the apron, turning back to the fans where he shouts some sort of quote, getting the fans buzzing. He then climbs in the ring and awaits the match to get underway.

Cochise by Audioslave begins to play. The lights on the crowd fade lower as the intro continues, but not completely off, leaving the path to the ring lit brightly. The main riff hits and there is a big, quick, explosion of pyro. Just afterwards Liam steps out from the back.

MA: Now the contestants. First, he hails from Cheltenham, England. Weighing in at two hundred and seventeen pounds, LIAM MORTELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

He soaks up the atmosphere for a minute before continuing to walk down to the ring. His smile beams throughout the arena as he makes his way to the ring, and when he gets there jumps over the ropes turning round to look at the all of the crowd before picking a turnbuckle to ascend to thank the fans. The music fades, and Liam jumps back down to the canvas.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
The arena lights begin to faint as smoke fills the entryway the first few rifts of “Attack” engages in recreation on the PA system as a silhouette can be seen behind the thick smoked stage area and red strobe lights begin to flicker on and off.

[align=center]I WON'T SUFFER, BE BROKEN
GET TIRED, OR WASTED
SURRENDER TO NOTHING
I'LL GIVE UP WHAT I STARTED
AND STOPPED IT
FROM END TO BEGINNING
A NEW DAY IS COMING
AND I AM FINALLY FREE
[/align]
The roof of the arena rattles as the base kicks in and Sean Madrox emerges from the smoke and a strobe light radiates his complex body to the crowd’s jeers as he stands on the stage glancing from left to right. He begins to walk down the steel steps admiring his own physique and raises his hand into the air forming the infamous ‘X’ as the jeers ring out loudly and he can’t help but display a devilish smirk across his face as he flips off the crowd.

MA: Now the defending Fighting Spirit Champion. From Fairfield ,Connecticut, he weighs in at two hundred and forty pounds, SEAN MAAAADROOOOOX!

[align=center]RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
I’LL ATTACK
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
GO CHANGE YOURSELF
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
NOW I’LL ATTACK
I’LL ATTACK, I’LL AA WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[/align]
Sean reaches the apron and he jumps up on it looking at both sides, then he flips over the top rope into the ring. He climbs the turnbuckles and he once again taunts his infamous ‘X’ as the crowd continues with jeers. He then removes his sleeveless hoodie and waits for his opponent.

CL: Is it just me or does it seem like superstars never gain or lose weight? It’s like these guys have been the combined weight of four hundred and fifty seven pounds forever.

J.J. checks both men for any concealed “advantage makers” before calling for the bell. Elrick stays on the outside making sure nothing shady goes on.

JH: Going into this match, Liam should have the momentum. I mean, he does have at least one pinfall victory that still remains fresh in our memory.

CM: That’s right, Jon. Because it happened last week. Are you starting to remember what you ate this morning?

Both men start towards the centre in their own boxing style stance. Madrox going more for the “arm blinders” style having his head ducked, but his arms up. Liam seems more focused on inflicting pain and his stance shows just that. Very straight, though far backed, both fists out though not too far to perform a block to the face or chest. Judging by the clenching of their fists, both men are ready for a war. With a few feet in between them, both men start to slowly circle around looking for an opening.

CM: Let’s hope that fucker J.J. knows what he’s doing this time.

CL: Hey! It’s not his fault he fucked up big time and probably made him the single most hated individual in the back. You know how much scrambling had to be done in the back office there?

JH: I don’t…a lot?

CL: Fuck if I know. I knew there’d be some scrambling, that’s why I didn’t show up.

CM: Yes. Real work. Scary.

A huge left from Liam knocks Madrox back a few steps. Liam starts forward to continue, it seems that he’s making up for lost time on that circling shit. Liam keeps his safe distance though just sending a few right jabs to the face which Madrox attempts to block. Finally Liam is taking the chance of going in there full momentum hoping to put this one away early.

CL: His left! Now right! Jab, jab, jab! Left under hook! Strong left grazing the temple. Blood! Blood! Now another left aimed for that cut! ¡El manda un segundo, el tercero y dejó adelante! Uno dos. ¡Uno dos! ¡Uno dos! !!!!!

CM:

JH:

CL:

CM: …the fuck was that!?

CL: Got a little…hrm…excited there. Blacked out. What happened?

JH:

Madrox rises up at the five and instantly falls back into his corner as J.J. keeps Liam back. Pressing his hand up to above his eye, Sean feels the warmth of the blood. Though it’s not a lot, it’s surely a cut that’ll grow. Instinctively, Madrox looks to the outside to Elrick who hasn’t taken his eyes off the champ. Elrick places all four finger tips on his left eyebrow and makes an exploding motion telling Madrox that it’s only going to get worse from here. Madrox shakes his head and looks back to Mortell who calls him back into the ring with a motion from both fists. Madrox takes another look at the small note of blood on his fist and zooms into the ring. Sean comes in too fast to even be noticed as he aims for Liam’s ribs. Liam’s body goes curvy as Madrox continues the assault on those ribs. Right hook after right hook, Mortell’s ribs feel every amount of pain that is dished. Madrox moves in behind Mortell after his fifth shot and has enough time to administer a couple of kidney shots before Liam turns around. Madrox seems to anticipate the turn around as he delivers a hard left hook knocking the contender down. Madrox hops in the spot a couple of times while raising his left arm up. Looking to the crowd, Madrox hears only a chorus of boos. Sean pays them no mind as he looks towards Elrick who just glares up at him. Madrox sends him a little smirk for his troubles.

[align=center] Four! [/align]

[align=center] Five! [/align]

J.J. stands above the fallen Liam bringing both hands down, fingers up as he counts the number one contender down. Liam starts to rise up at six and finally is able to stand fully up at eight. Madrox, who seems to be really getting into this, ever since he gained the advantage, pounds his fists together and moves in to continue the assault. Another shot to the side sends Liam to the side a few steps but he isn’t ready to give up as he ducks a high flying right hook and moves in for Madrox’s mid section. A few shots to the gut sends Sean taking a few steps back to rethink his strategy. Liam stays put calling Madrox forward, his hair now wet with sweat from both the lights and the actions he’s had to take. Madrox responds by coming in with a one-two combo directed at Mortell’s head. Two straight shots to the face sends Liam to a hunched over position. Madrox continues the assault pushing Mortell into the corner where he starts to work the gut.

CM: Damn it you moron, don’t you know that’s where you aren’t supposed to be?

JH: In these kind of matches, it’s hard to have so many things to think about. You’re practically barred from doing what you’ve spent years training to do only to replace it with something you might watch a Hollywood movie about.

CL: So these guys learned to fight this way from watching the Rocky series?

CM: See, now that’s what everyone always goes for when they talk about boxing in the movies.

CL: Well you name another one.

JH: Play it to the bone is one.

CM: Yea.

CL: And…?

CM:

CL: Well?

CM: Shut your fucking face! That’s another one.

CL: Quite original, but no.

JH: Is that sarcasm?

CM: Who told you that you can speak?

Liam finally makes his way from the corner and comes out hard with a sudden shot to the side of Madrox’s face sending it facing the entrance way. Just in time to catch Ethan Adams coming out to “Ladies and Gentlemen”. Liam just stands there wondering just what in the hell is going on as Ethan hurries his way down to the ring. Not a run, just a face walk. Adams doesn’t take his eyes off both competitors in the ring. As he comes closer, it becomes clear that Ethan is paying more attention to Liam. Elrick goes in to stop him as both Liam and J.J. look on.

JH: What’s he doing here?

CM: Obviously the little baby can’t stand not getting his shot just yet. So he’s coming out here to complain.

Seeing enough of this, Liam turns just in time to dodge a sudden strike from Madrox. Liam counters this with a quick inside left to the jaw knocking Sean down hard on his back. As he goes down, Madrox’s arm grazes past Liam who feels something and looks down to find brass knuckles. Brass knuckles that Sean was ready to use. J.J. turns and notices the downed Madrox and starts out in making the count.

[align=center] One! [/align]

[align=center] Two! [/align]

[align=center] Three! [/align]

[align=center] Four! [/align]

[align=center] Five! [/align]

[align=center] Six! [/align]

[align=center] Seven! [/align]

[align=center] Eight! [/align]

[align=center] Nine! [/align]

[align=center] Ten! [/align]

Not once does Madrox show any sign of life following that hard and sudden shot to the jaw, it’s no surprise. “Cochise” reprises as Liam looks around in disbelief. J.J. is in the midst of taking the Fighting Spirit Championship from the time keeper when Adams slides into the ring and pushes Liam down from behind. Ethan starts to stomp down hard on Mortell as he tries to get back up. When he does, he manages to tackle Adams down in a shortened spear. Once both are on the ground, Mortell begins to pummel away at Ethan who blocks and pushes other shits away while taking a few in the chest. This goes on until Liam is pulled off by Madrox who plants him down in the Lights Out. Madrox now starts to stomp away at the new champ as Ethan rises up and starts to help out the former champ in this double team assault. This attack doesn’t last long as Elrick slides into the ring and breaks up the attack. Before anything can really happen, both Madrox and Adams leave the ring as Elrick helps Mortell to the ring sending some “inviting calls” back towards Madrox. On their way up the ramp, the quick bring together of Sean and Ethan quickly ends in an argument. Inside the ring, Elrick takes the FSC belt from a stunned J.J. and after examining it for a few moments, hands it to Mortell. Mortell tries to take it, but finds that Elrick’s grip is a little too tight. Finally, after a brief moment, Elrick releases the gold, but doesn’t lose eye contact with Liam.

JH: So it seems that Elrick is more interested in the Fighting Spirit Championship right now.

CL: So is his business done now with Sean Madrox because he no longer has it?

CM: Might be so. Elrick is like that hot young blonde with a huge rack and nice ass and wears clothes that shows off both.

CL: You had better be going somewhere with this.

CM: Sorry, got a little dazed there. Anyway, and the entire company is full of old, dying men with that title representing a vast fortune.

JH: So…Elrick goes around and proposes to every single Fighting Spirit Champion hoping one will say “yes” and then kill ‘em off just so he can inherit the championship?

CM:

CL: STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT DAMN BLONDE!

We cut to a black screen, and it remains black for a few seconds, leaving it just long enough for the viewer to wonder what's wrong with their television. We hear a sound, the wind blowing softly.

WHITE FLASH

We hear the wind blowing stronger, gently picking up. We're incredibly high up and look down on thousands of street lights, rushing past as seen from the air. Red and white glowing pinpricks dot the landscape for miles around, and we travel slowly, following the roads before finally we arrive at a tall glass building.

Looking closer, there is a man stood on the top of the building, we circle him several times but never really getting a good look at him, or even what he's wearing.


WHITE FLASH

We crash cut to a black screen. The wind stops, replaced by a muted chuckling, as the following words slowly materialise.

He's Coming............

The chuckle tails off, and again we hear the wind picking up

WHITE FLASH

Static fills the screen for a brief moment before a poor quality film starts airing; it appears to being filmed in the parking lot. The camera peaks over the car the camera man appears to be hiding behind and reveals just why exactly it is out here at this point. Extreme Ninja #2 stands a few feet away in his standard black ninja gi, not having noticed the camera yet. The former Flycore Champion appears to be talking to some one over his cell phone, turning his back to the camera for a moment. Before he notices it the camera fades to black…
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

MA: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the match for Tag Team Champions of the World, One fall to a Thirty Minute Time Limit!

A soft and eerie melody haunts the PA and the darkened arena, picking up guitars & drums on the way, eventually rising to a crescendo of smoke in the cage, and a thudding bass line. One man darts through the curtain, as Itoshisa ha Fuhai ni Tsuki builds up, to herald the coming of the insidious corporation, trying to spread its tentacles through FIW. Mr. Blond leads, mostly because he hates being caught in the dry ice smoke, and stands of the lip of the ramp, sneering and combing his hair up.

[align=left]Odori ga subete no shoujyo wo dakikakae,[/align][align=right]Asa wo matsu.[/align]
[align=left]Shinai naru tomo, te wo furu kimi sae,[/align][align=right]Mou inai kara[/align]


As the measured crooning begins, Momoko steps out through the smoke, scowling, screaming and swinging the sickle on its chain; leading a nonplussed Mr. Blond down the aisle as she does so. Blondie makes no attempt to calm her down, Kyo continues the inexorable rise of the song to the chorus and the explosion of the stage, which accompanies it

[align=center]Arifureta hibi sae ima de ha mou natsukashii
Sora ni hirahira matteru hai no hanabira

Doresu wo kite saa odorou
Taemanaku ataeta ai
Himei wo age naiteiru kara...
Dakara... mou… [/align]


The two continue down on their merry way to the ring, although that is somewhat disingenuous when talking about Momoko Wakari, who is screaming all manner of incomprehensible threats, to everyone who’ll stand still long enough to listen to them. Blondie calmly walks down the aisle, tossing his comb into the crowd, and ascending the steps to hold open the ropes for Miss Wakari to enter, before they pick a corner, and start warming up…

The house lights drop, immediately sending the crowd into a frenzy as they know EXACTLY who's on their way..

[align=center]"As the day is long... as the damage done..."


RISE!
[/align].

As one, the crowd LEAPS to their feet, all of them throwing 'R' signs into the air as the lights all over the arena begin to blaze and strobe maniacally to the thunder known as 'Damage Done' by Mushroomhead. Nightmare steps out onto the stage, coat drifting behind him, and Grant Rice follows him out a moment later, both raising the 'R' handsign to the crowd on opposite sides of the ramp, the theme song barely being heard over the noise.

MA: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ON THEIR WAY TO THE RING, AT A TOTAL COMBINED WEIGHT OF 523 POUNDS, GRANT RICE AND NIGHTMARE, THEY ARE...THE! RRRRRRRRRRREVOLUUUUUUTION!

[align=center]Get the hammers high!
Get in line to get fucked up!
Get the hammers high!
Get fucked up![/align]


They converge at the center of the stage and head down the ramp, Nightmare tagging hands with the fans as Grant just heads straight for the ring, stopping at the apron to wait for Nightmare to reach him and slide underneath the ropes before entering the ring himself. He goes up on the turnbuckle, beckoning the crowd to shower the Revolution with their praise as Nightmare riles up the crowd on the other turnbuckle as only he can, taunting, flexing and such like. As soon as the chorus hits they begin screaming the lyrics with the song and the crowd, both holding up both hands in the 'R' handsign.

[align=center]GONNA WAKE SHIT UP! GONNA BREAK SHIT UP!
GONNA TEAR THIS GONE-DEAD WORLD APART!
GONNA TEAR THIS GONE-DEAD WORLD APART!
GONNA WAKE SHIT UP! GONNA BREAK SHIT UP!
DON'T DOUBT THE HATE THAT'S INSIDE OF MY HEART!
GONNA BREAK HUMANITY JUST IN SPITE OF ME!
GAZE INTO MY EYES AND YOU'LL FIIIIIIIIIIIND!!![/align]


They drop off the buckle and meet in the center of the ring, speaking with each other quietly as the music and lights fade away, leaving the crowd at a fevered pitch and ready for war.

MA: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the T-

He never finishes. Both teams take the matter of starting the match into their own hands, Momoko pushing Oriochi into Ref. Jackson, and throwing herself at Grant Rice, in a furious storm of elbows and kicks to the gut. The bell rings:

[align=center]Ding![/align]

… In a hurry, because already the real Mark Jackson has to count a pinfall, as Nightmare has tried to push Momoko away, and got rolled up by the ever opportunistic Mr. Blond!

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Three???

NOOO!! KICK OUT AT THE LAST!!!
[/align]

It does now mean that we have our legal men, and under threat of Disqualification, Ref. Jackson tells Momoko Wakari and Grant Rice to calm down and get back to their corners. They oblige, but not before an exchange of harsh words, and harsh slaps. All good things must come to an end, and the two are broken up, as Mr. Blond offers Nightmare the traditional Greco-Roman Knuckle-lock. Nighty has more sense than that, and rushes him with what would, possibly be a collar & elbow tie up, if not for the steel toe-cap that sharply arrives in the side of his right knee, causing it to buckle and Nightmare to fall. Stamping ensues to the inside leg, with the knee being bent at an awkward angle in order to facilitate this.

CM: Note: with this actually being the inside leg, this is all legal. So quit yer whining, you bleeding heart nonces.

CL: Read: Bitchen.

When Nightmare is dragged to the TZ corner, his leg draped over the bottom rope, Momoko tags herself in, sling shotting over the top, dropping a leg over the injured knee. Nightmare is far too manly to be screaming in pain just yet, so merely grimaces. He also ignores Momoko’s attempt at chiropody with her boots and his spine, as he rearranges the knee brace and gets back to work, causing Momoko to back away, hands in the air, almost begging for no trouble. Almost. She promptly jabs Nightmare in the eyeball with her thumb, and leaping up to DDT the monster before her. Nightmare rolls away to his corner, favouring his knee, and rubbing his head so Grant Rice can tag in.

JH: Ahh, now some order can be restored.

CM: Unless Momoko can outwit both members of the Revolution, and it wasn’t too hard to get Nighty out of the way.

JH: That was cheating. All of it.

CM: Even the bits that weren’t cheating?

JH: Yes. Especially those bits.

The constant heelishness of the challengers may well be putting a strain on Jon Hitchen’s sanity. With that in mind, we return to the match, with a fake lock up from Momoko, before tagging straight out herself. Mr. Blond inspects his new opponent with a raised eyebrow, the favour being returned by Grant Rice, the two slowly going round each other, shooting in at each other’s ankles, but not really getting anywhere. It seems clear that the match is going no-where, so Mr. Blond takes a dive onto his back, daring Rice to come after him on the ground. Grant Rice isn’t falling for whatever he’s trying and stomps at him, sending him rolling away, and standing up, right into a left hook! The cover:

[align=center]One!

Grant Breaks Before Momoko Can Save!!
[/align]

And as he does so, goes to drag Blondie up by the hair. This, as it transpires, is a mistake, and he soon gets his fingers bitten. Another Jaw Jackin’ left hook sends Blondie packing and Rice back to his corner to discuss strategy. On the heel side, Momoko tags in and sprints over to belt Nightmare in the face, before he can tag in. the blow doesn’t actually dislodge him, but it confuses him for a bit, and he looks on as Momoko gets German Suplexed, and then sent on her way with an Irish whip. On the way back, she gets a drop toe hold, and the…

JH: STRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA-

CM: Someone evidently didn’t see the tag?

JH: What tag?

CL: That’s a damn good question, actually.

It seems that only two people in the entire building saw the tag: Chip Martin and Mark Jackson. The crowd are too busy popping for the Straight Mizery, and imminent breaking of ankles to notice why the referee is calling for a break, as Blondie steps between the ropes, walks up, unnoticed and rolls Grant up as he argues with the referee.

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Nightmare Saves by Hurling Blondie across the Ring!!!
[/align]

Order breaks down now, Momoko, seeing the referee distracted with an irate Nightmare, reaches into her boot to pull out a fork, to commence stabbination… only to find she has a comb in there. Mr. Blond winks at her, and clamps a Full Nelson on Grant to hold him in place. Meanwhile, Nightmare has finally agreed to go to his corner, just so long as the referee re-organises the Tanaka Zaibatsu, which he does. He turns to face Momoko, with the ‘weapon’ and is rewarded with a look of such sweetness and purity it’s impossible to believe that she would use that comb for anything other than fixing her pigtails.

JH: Oh, come on. At least confiscate it!

CM: Nah, let her keep it. I think her hair needs the help.

Harmony has been restored to the match, now that both illegal competitors have been removed, leaving Rice and Blond jockeying for position. Grantland has managed to shake off the Full Nelson, but finds himself in a headlock. He tries to shake the Blond Outlaw off with an Irish Whip, but toe-capped boots are a bitch to run in, so Blondie slams on the brakes and takes him down. Not for long; he gets lifted up, and the cry goes around the arena:

[align=center]Call Nine One MMMPHH!!![/align]

It is, unfortunately hard to speak when someone’s trying to stretch your mouth to be large enough to fit a train through, with a fish-hook. Mr. Blond comes back down on his feet, and drags Rice around the ring, tapping his head, all the way up and over through the Champion’s Backdrop Suplex. Wasting no time, a Single Leg Crab follows, , along with some gesticulating in Momoko’s direction, telling her in no uncertain terms not to break it up. He also takes a leaf out of his opponent’s book of chicanery to punch at the knee, and grind his forearm across it while Ref Jackson keeps Momoko from interfering any more.

CL: Refreshing innovation from the Tag Champions, eh, Jonathon?

JH: Exactly.

CM: You what? He’s Ch-ch-ch

Cheating? No. Didn’t you hear, it’s ‘Innovation.’ As an aside, I really hate that word, but there’s a match. Anyhow, as I ramble on in my narrative, Mr. Blond makes the ropes, Momoko backs off, and the break follows, with Mr. Blond wrapped around the ropes to discourage Grant Rice from attempting to follow up. In the end, he rolls his eyes, and tags in Nightmare.

JH: Oh, Repent ye Foul Sinners!

CM: You What?

CL: *Whispering:* I think he’s going a little bit crazy…

CM: *Whispering:* So do I…

Well, Hitchen's losing his mind out there, although I'm sure he'll get it back by the main event, and Nightmare sounds the charge, rushing in with Nightmare-Line, which sends Blondie into the next state. This is not good for him, at all, although it could be worse, as Nightmare plays to the crowd, gets his pop, and calls Blondie up for the End of Days, grabbing him around the waist, and... Falling Down? Momoko trips up Nightmare with the chain from Oriochi. Mark Jackson confiscated him/it earlier, but evidently didn't hide him/it too well, since Nightmare is on the floor. predictably Hitchen isn't happy, but then, neither is anyone else, particularly Blondie who still ends up squished on the floor. It was sort of the End of Days, maybe the End of a Day, and it is still a pin, so...

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Blondie gets a Shoulder Up at 2.75!!!
[/align]

And only now does Mark Jackson notice the chain. He untangles Nightmare, and reprimands Momoko. What happens next is, in Mexico, called a Foul; in Japan, a Vital Part Attack, and in the US it's a:

JH: Hideously Disgusting Low Blow! How can he get away with such blata-

CM: Therein lies the problem, old bean; it's not blatant if the referee is facing away from the action.

Mr. Blond stands up, and takes the Champion to the corner, to start ramming his shoulder into the Pink Purple and Black Attacked's gut. Confident that the referee's not looking, Blondie sends in a dubious knee into the lower intestine/groin area, along with a punch or two. Once more, the referee steps in, to pull Blondie away, after a five count, and eats the Un-named Feeling, which takes him all the way to his own corner, Nightmare being more worried about obliterating his opposition than where he does it, goes for the pin:

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Three!!!


But He Didn't Spot the Blind Tag!!![/align]


Once again, the referee is on top of the situation and doesn't count. The crowd drown him out though. Nightmare's arguments are unfortunately cut off by Blondie falling into him with a fist to the face, falling to one knee as he does so, but pushing the self styled Prince of Pain back just enough so the Legal Woman to step up onto the Blond Outlaw's back, and...

CM: Sweet Zombie Jesus! What do you call that?

CL: A Shining Wizard. Actually, I'm amazed it took him down...

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Three???

NO!!! Grant Rice Decapitates Momoko Just In Time!!!
[/align]

The Uzi sends Momoko flying! Unfortunately, it leaves Grant's back to Mr. Blond, and he clamps on a Choke Sleeper! Grant is sat down, ready for the Quiff Kick! It's all for naught: Nightmare and the End of Days; but wait, Momoko takes his knee out, Blondie rolls on top as Momoko gets the School Girl:

[align=center]One!

Two!!

Three!!!

The Referee Tells Blondie to Get Bent!!!
[/align]

Two people pinning the same person isn't on. Mark Jackson forcibly pushes Mr. Blond back to his corner, and does the same for Grant Rice, as both Momoko and Nightmare crawl back to their corners...

JH: Oh, The Humanity! Hey, you can't do that!!!

CM: Tell ya what, you go down and stop him dragging his partner back to his corner, for the tag, yeah? I'll keep your seat warm.

Mr. Blond makes it possible for Miss Wakari to make the tag, by dragging her across as Grant complains. The ref turns around, just in time to signal the tag. Grant finally loses it. Pushing the referee out of his way, he walks up and slugs Blondie in the face. The crowd approve of this action. The Approve of Blondie's reaction: to fall backwards into the ropes. They do not approve of Momoko Wakari wrapping Oriochi's chain around Grant's neck and throwing him over the top rope.

JH: Good Sweet Christ! She's Trying to Kill Him!

CM: Well, duh! You do listen to her promos, right?

JH: But this is... Where's the referee? Checking on the Snake?!?!?

CL: It doesn't hurt to be more specific, it's a Cobra. A Cobra Twist.

Nightmare looks to be making the ropes, until Blondie drives his toe into the back of his knee, grinding the old war wound into the dirt [metaphorically,] and swinging his other leg over: Blondiegatame!!!

JH: What the hell, this can't be... What's she doing?!?!?

Grant Rice has fought free, almost, but as he goes to his partner's aid, gets the sickle drawn across his back, and gets a Uraken which sends him off the apron Blondie leans back in the hold reaching with one arm for... The Other End of the Chain!!!

CM: Now that's Innovation.

JH: ...

One foot in the bad knee, one leg over the neck, all kinds of leverage, Nightmare holds on for dear life, but just can't reach the ropes. With one last effort he steps forward, but is pulled back by the chain!

[align=center]DingDingDing!!![/align]

MA: Here are your winners... And NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions OF THE WORLD!!! ...The TANAKA ZAAAIIIIIIIBAAAAAAATSUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Momoko is Jaw Jacked off the end of the chain, Blondie and Nightmare go flying forward, but the bell has rung, and with Itoshisa ha Fuhai ni Tsuki playing, all Grant Rice can do is look stunned, as Black Tickertape, and Feathers fall from the rafters. A grinning young man in a suit helps the Pink Haired Assassin back into the ring, and hands her her UIC.

JH: What the hell is he doing here???

CM: Don't think he wants to see his own employees moment of Triumph.

JH: Triumph? Were we watching the same match? They just Stole The Tag Team Championship of the Whole World! I don't want to live on a planet that recognises these Villains as the best team on it!

CM: It's ok, Bitchen, me and Conse'll chip in and have you sent to Mars.

JH: I think I'd prefer that to watching This!

This has now degenerated into a ticker tape parade in the ring. Blondie has his own belt around his waist, although Momoko seems to have declined hers, so Blondie slings the second over his shoulder as the three stop for a few pictures, you know, for posterity. The next step in the sea of tape and feathers [but strangely no streamers from the crowd,] is for the new Champions to pose on the turnbuckles for their 'adoring' audience.

CM: Aww man, what are those two dorks doing here?

Ash Koopa and El Lumberjacko, the team with no name, have arrived to see this development for themselves, and look on with disbelief, and not a small amount of contempt. Momoko looks at Blondie, Blondie looks at Daisuke, Daisuke looks at Momoko. They laugh as turn, to pull the Ninja LUV pose at their rivals, spitting up Mist in unison!

JH: Oh Sweet Christ, please... We need to go to commercial or something... Anything... Please...

Yet again the camera finds itself backstage in the bowls of the boiler room that is being used as the General Manager’s office this week. However, this time around the enigmatic masked ruler is looking quite a bit more frustrated and annoyed over some thing. One would imagine it has to do with all the paper work sitting on his desk, and some of which he is currently holding. Most of it resembles contract documents that are requests for FIW Championship Matches, though they are missing the official FIW logo.

Krähe: kssshhhhhk... I…kssshhhhhk... can’t…kssshhhhhk... believe…kssshhhhhk... this…kssshhhhhk...

Lazaro, who is currently walking into the office, notices the apparent frustration consuming his master.

Lazaro: The open challenges again, master?

In a half distracted manner the General Manager nods his head as he fishes through all the paper work.

Krähe: kssshhhhhk... That stupid feline…kssshhhhhk... has caused me a…kssshhhhhk... headache with all…kssshhhhhk... these open challenges coming in…kssshhhhhk...

Gradually he lowers his head, his masked face disappearing from view.

Krähe: kssshhhhhk... Though…kssshhhhhk... I think…kssshhhhhk... I may have…kssshhhhhk... a plan…kssshhhhhk...

On this foreboding note, the camera cuts to else where…

Crackerjack looks through the curtains ready to go out when a hand suddenly lands on his shoulder. Crackerjack quickly turns around to find Stan Stevens standing there out of breath and hunched forward. The only thing that really keeps him on his feet is the hand resting on Crackerjacks shoulder. Crackerjack just looks around a little until he finally asks the big question.

Crackerjack: Who...who are you?

Stan: Stan...*huff*...Stevens. Man, *wheeze* that was...a lot.

Crackerjack: What? You're Stan Stevens? What happened?

Stan: Just...got your...message.

Stan's breathing starts to slow down as Crackerjack gets a little upset.

Crackerjack: Just now? I sent it last week!

Stan: ... ... ...

It's plainly obvious that Stan is in the middle of piecing the puzzle together in his head. Shouldn't be too big, two pieces maybe. Square, blank pieces. But knowing Stan...

Stan: Yea. That's what I meant.

Stan rises from his hunched position and removes his hand from Crackerjacks shoulder.

Stan: That's what I meant.

Crackerjack: It took you a week to get here.

Stan: The roads...man, those roads. You know what I'm saying right?

Crackerjack: No I don't. Listen, I've gotta match to get too and--

Stan: Great...

Still a little out of breath, Stan rests one hand on his hip and the the he lets hang there in between the two of them.

Stan: Watch your suplexes. Mnd your clotheslines and uh...

Stan looks away for a moment and rests his free hand under his chin.

Crackerjack: No, I'm not competing.

Stan: What else was there?

Crackerjack: Whatever. Listen, I gotta go.

Stan, still in his frozen state of thinking, waves his hand.

Stan: Yea...see ya. What was that last point? Damn, should've written that stuff down when I thought about it.
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crimson Shards
Unregistered

JH: What a night we’ve had folks! We’ve seen some incredible developments and some new champions crowned!

CL: And it was all a lead up to this, the Dual Crown title match.

CM: Finally the championships are returning to where they rightfully belong.

JH: I don’t know about that, while Ragin’ is certainly a legend, he’s been away from the ring for a few weeks and even a small amount of time away can make a difference.

CL: True, but who’s to say that this wasn’t his plan all along and he had been preparing for this match the entire time?

CM: Yeah! Ragin’ could’ve undergone some super secret training for this!


MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is your scheduled main event for this edition of Friday Night ReVolt. It is set with one fall to a finish and has been granted a one hour time limit by the general manager. Your official for this bout is Tony Clarke…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Dual Crown Championship!


With the arena plummeted into darkness a few lines of static flash up onto the three ReVoltrons and Local H’s “That’s What They All Say” starts to play out over the PA system. In the gloom a few shapes can be made out walking onto the concrete stage. A series of red lights beam down faintly onto the stage, before others join it and illuminate the entirety of the elevated stage where young, beautiful women are aligning themselves on either side and kneeling. They position themselves like a religious worshipper before their God.

[align=center]Yeah, Uh-Huh, That’s What They All Say[/align]

This is the prompt for a flash of light and a series of small explosions around the stage and ReVoltrons before two more figures can be seen advancing through the haze, a bright spotlight appearing on them. As the smoke clears Ragin’ can be seen head bowed with Natalya moving around him, her arms stroking his torso. They walk directly down past the press of females on the concrete stage, the spotlight following the two Russians with every step. The women get to their feet and depart as soon as the Russian start to walk down the steps from the stage.

As they reach the bottom of the walkway and the ring ropes, Ragin’ sits on the lowest one and allows Natalya to slip between them before he steps along the apron toward the turnbuckle. The women aligned on the ramp depart unnoticed and the lights suddenly turn back on. Ragin’ hauls himself up and looks out over at the fans, raising a mocking fist in the air to a chorus of jeers. He points his fingers down at himself briefly before hopping down into the ring and unbuttoning whichever expensive shirt he has worn today and handing it to Natalya. She whispers something in his ear and slides out of the ring.


CL: Natalya and Lucy are going to have company this week, what with the lumberjacks that are down there.

CM: Ooo, Kailey and Natalya are eyeing each other! Maybe we’ll see some H-L-A!

JH: More like we’ll see those two ladies try to beat the tar out of each other.


A low hum sound comes from the speakers and soon a guitar begins to play with sound effects in the background, drums and the sound steel being hammered comes in at around thirty seconds. Xtreme Kitten appears from behind the curtain as the drums come in; Lucy is following Kitten as she holds onto her large steel chain which as usual is attached to a collar around Xtreme Kitten’s neck. Xtreme Kitten kicks the chain link fence on the stage in time with the beat of the hammer; he stays on the stage kicking until percussion drops out, Kitten snaps to an attention like pose.

[align=center]I clench my teeth and realize
My world is so near its demise
A dying sun in a poisonous sky
Stinging my eyes
Burning with contempt and conflict
[/align]

The percussion comes back with the vocals but the steel sound is gone. Xtreme Kitten starts to walks to the front of the stage and stops at the stairs as Lucy pulls on the chain, they walk down the stairs together and walk towards the ring. Xtreme Kitten and Lucy stop at ring side.

[align=center]As of now
I am a tool
Of severe impact
[/align]

Xtreme Kitten begins to move as the steel sound comes back, he once again kicks the fencing with the sound. Lucy leads Xtreme Kitten around the ring; they stop near the ring stairs as the music drops out, the bass booms, the music comes back and Xtreme Kitten and Lucy head up the stairs.

[align=center]I clench my fist and visualize
The blood that is spilled is our own
I open wide my bloodshot eyes
Count the dead
A result of dysfunction
[/align]

Lucy undoes the collar around Xtreme Kitten’s neck during the verse, the music is cut, Lucy hopes off the apron, Xtreme Kitten steps into the ring and goes to his corner ready to start the match.


CM: Ha, look at that worry on his face, he’s like bait in the center of a tank full of sharks.

JH: …How can you even tell what his expression is?

CL: This crowd isn’t exactly the most pro-Kitten one ever assembled though, you have to admit.


Michael Anderson takes center stage with a micro phone in hand again, clearing his throat and flashing a grin.


MA: Introducing first the challenger, he hails from Bogorodskoye, Russia and weighed in this morning at two hundred and sixty eight pounds and stood at six feet and three inches…He is the Russian Jackal…HE! IS! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN’~!!!


The Master of Rage looks around nonchalantly at the sea of jeers that roll in and just crash against his steel plated ego. Grudgingly he let’s Tony pat him down to make sure every thing is kosher and lets him explain the rules of the match to him.


MA: And introducing the champion, he hails from Shoal Bay, NSW, Australia and weighed in this morning at two hundred and fifty five pounds and stood at six feet and three inches…He is your reigning FIW Dual Crown Champion…HE! IS! XXXXXXXXXTRRRRRRRRREEEEMMMMMMMMMMMME KIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN~!!!


Kitten mockingly pats his stomach as he looks over at his foe, perhaps implying Ragin’ has had one too many sweets due to the difference in weight. Much like with the Russian Jackal, Tony pats XK down and when he finds nothing, he takes the championships. Clarke walks to the center of the ring and holds up both championships into the air, turning all the way around for every one in attendance to see them. After doing this he simply scurries over to the ropes and hands the belts over to a stage monkey, and calls for the bell while Anderson leaves the ring.


[align=center]DING DING DING~!!![/align]


Once the match is officially under way both men start out circling each other in a jogging pace, gradually slowing back down to a walk. With every go around the two steadily get rid of the distance between them, and with this Ragin’ becomes more cautious with every go around. It doesn’t take long for the two men to be within arm’s reach of each other, and when that happens the self proclaimed King of FIW tentatively extends his hand out. Never one to lock up, the Feline Fighter opts to instead to just knock the challenger’s block off with a nasty elbow strike that sends him staggering.

JH: Both men are equal in height, however, Kitten is a bit leaner than Ragin’ which may give him the advantage.

CL: Leaner? You make it sound like Ragin’ is a fat ass! That’s all muscle from where I’m sitting.

CM: Yup, that stupid freak can only hope for a minor speed advantage which Ragin’ will neutralize by just crushing him!

JH: Clearly, he’s doing such a good job of that so far by letting that elbow strike connect fully onto his face.

Maybe wanting this over quickly, the champion hurries after Ragin’ and fires off several more elbow strikes to his cranium and sending him reeling. Natalya screams at ringside in Russian at her comrade, though for nothing as the Feline Fighter keeps driving his elbow into the Russian Jackal’s skull. Steadily the challenger keeps moving back with every strike that Kitten throws out at him until the two are in one of the four corners of the ring. Clarke steps in immediately and tells XK to break it up and let Ragin’ out, carefully Xtreme Kitten back tracks out…only to hit Ragin’ with another elbow strike to cheers from Lucy and a shake of the head from Kiyoshi!

CL: Shit, Kitten is just using Ragin’s head like it was his own personal ball of yarn.

CM: Gah…so conflicted, on the one hand, the freak is winning…on the other hand, it’s getting Lucy to jump and…bounce…at ringside…

JH: You really do give a bad name to all males out there, Chip.

CL: Seriously, get laid and get the fuck over it already.

That last shot the challenger managed to half block, causing it to only jar him slightly and send him back against the turnbuckle and grab the ropes for support. With a doubtful eye he waits until Tony gets XK out of arm’s reach and then cautiously exits the safety of his corner. Unfortunately, the senior referee backs the champion up enough that Wakari tries to take a cheap swipe at the masked man after their match the previous week. Crackerjack and Grant Rice, Nightmare all swarm into Momoko’s near by area, getting the Japanese to back off as XK glares her down.

CM: Ha, ha, gotta love that Momoko.

JH: That was deplorable! She just tried to swipe his feet out from underneath him!

CL: Nearly succeeded too, though I think the guys who just lost their tag belts to her and the guy whose the number one contender to her belt have her in check now.

CM: Meh, Momoko could take them.

Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, the Russian Jackal bolts right at the distracted champion and looks for a spear tackle on him. Luckily for the Feline Fighter he turns around a few seconds too soon and side steps the attempted attack narrowly, forcing Ragin’ to put on the brakes. Without even turning around to face his challenger Kitten leaps into the air, connecting with the Pelé Kick to the Master of Rage’s head and catching his ear! At ringside Natalya and Kailey Lane both do their best to hide their grimaces over what they just witnessed as Kiyoshi almost seems to be taking mental notes.

JH: Good lord! If Kitten was off by an inch or so more he might’ve taken Ragin’s ear off!

CL: That would’ve been fantastic, think of all the blood…

CM: Gah! Natalya, do some thing!

JH: I think even that harlot knows better than to do some thing like that with a referee and lumberjacks in this match.

In a dazed like state the FIW Legend starts to stir and get up to all fours and revealing that a small stream of blood is running down from his ear. Not that long after he starts to stir the champion pushes body up to his knees and looks around, spotting his opponent and the bleeding. Like a machine Xtreme Kitten zeros in on that side of the Russian Jackal’s head and thrusts his own skull forward, the two making a thunderous noise when they hit. Roughly the Feline Fighter snatches a hold of Ragin’ to make sure he isn’t going any where, and then unleashes another head butt straight to the side of his head!

CL: Yes! Fucking brilliant! May not be a torn off ear, but it’s blood none the less!

CM: Eek! What is that freak doing to Ragin’?!

JH: Well, it looks like he’s targeting the ear while still working over the head, though he has to be careful as he could hit Ragin’s temple wrong and…

CL: Kill him? Yeah, that just makes it all the greater.

The Dual Crown challenger tries to bat away the champ’s hold on him but XK just holds on tighter and delivers a third disgusting head butt to the side of his skull. Due to all the head butts by this time the challenger’s ear is no longer just bleeding a thin stream, rather showing off a decent sized cut. To make sure that third head butt isn’t lonely Xtreme Kitten gives it a friend, dishing out a fourth and final head butt to the Russian Jackal. Showing a bit of the effects from the strikes himself, Kitten let’s go of Ragin’ to grab his head and the Master of Rage uses that chance to roll out of the ring.

CM: Oh great! Now he’s really busted open, thanks a lot you stupid masked freak!

JH: It’s been all the champion in this match so far, but could the veteran make a come back and pull off a gigantic victory in his career and FIW history?!

CL: Ah…just look at it pour, it really warms my black and bitter heart to see that kind of blood shed in a wrestling ring…

CM: This is so unfair, Ragin’ won’t even be able to catch his breath out there because those stupid lumberjacks will just throw him back in!

Before Chip’s prediction can become a reality Xtreme Kitten hops out of the ring right after the challenger to his titles! Several of the lumberjacks back up to give the two room, aside from Prime who comes up from behind and nails a lariat to the back of XK’s neck! The Evolution of Evil starts hammering away on the champ and it isn’t long before Sean Madrox of all people joins him in laying in the shots! Unfortunately for these two Kiyoshi Nakahata steps in and grabs both by the back of their necks, yanking them off of the masked feline.

JH: And Kiyoshi Nakahata steps in to stop this horrible act!

CL: Least there is some one who actually is following the job description.

CM: Darn him! I was really enjoying that too!

JH: You’re a horrible person, Chip.

Prime and Madrox swat Nakahata’s hands away and both try to start a slug fest with him only for Kitten to step in, clobbering Prime as Sean bashes Kiyoshi. Nakahata ducks a shot and soon XK and Kiyoshi are fighting side by side as they dish out some pain and punishment to the two lumberjacks. Without fail Ethan Adams and Nightmare, and Grant Rice break up the two fights and force Xtreme Kitten back into the ring for the time being. As all this chaos is going on, no one notices Kailey Lane standing over the fallen and bleeding form of the Russian Jackal, who is groping at her legs to try and use them as support.

CL: Aww, lame, that was great and was like some thing out of a fucking buddy movie!

CM: What’s wrong with you? Come on Kailey, help Ragin’ up.

JH: Clearly Prime tried to send a message to the champ and Madrox is sending one for when his business with the Fighting Spirit title wraps up.

CL: Wait, what are you rambling on about you dickwee…oh, yeah, what is she doing?

Blood, that sacred crimson liquid, pours down onto the feet of the Southern Hell Belle and she just stares down at the heap that is Ragin’ with a cryptic expression. Perhaps he doesn’t even realize who it is he is trying to get to help him, or maybe he does and that’s why he’s requesting it. Whatever the reason the sole lumberjack that’s stayed hidden in the wings grows tired of watching it, so the Reject of Rejects strolls over to the two. Graver, with a bit of struggling due to the size difference, picks up the Master of Rage and does his job by tossing him back into the ring alongside Xtreme Kitten, snapping Kailey out of her trance like state.

CM: Well, thank goodness! Least some one had the presence of mind to help Ragin’…even if it was that slug, Graver…

JH: It is kinda eerie how calm and composed Graver has been at ringside. In either case, now we are back on track with both wrestlers back in the ring!

CL: Oh…yay…

CM: Shush you.

Clutching at the ropes, both men get up to their feet and turn to face one another yet again and it is the FIW Legend that strikes first with a punch that XK ducks. Growing frustrated with this entire situation, Ragin’ starts unloading the rights and lefts like there is no tomorrow. Yet each time he does, the Feline Fighter narrowly avoids the punches by ducking and some fancy foot work of his own. A few moments into this and Kitten sees an opening, standing up and twirling only to smack the challenger right in the jaw with the Uraken!

JH: Xtreme Kitten showing just how much of a skill difference there typically is between an untrained brawler and a martial artist.

CL: It also helps that Ragin’ is bleeding from the ear and a bit dazed.

CM: Can’t any thing go Ragin’s way in this match?!

JH: Apparently not.

Reeling from the Uraken the challenger stumbles over to the ropes, grabbing the top rope to hold him up at his vertical base. Tony and Kitten follow after him and Kitten grabs the Master of Rage, only for a kick to go unseen by the referee that is certainly aimed low on Kitten. XK instinctively grasps at his groin region and tries to check to make sure every thing is intact as he back steps and Lucy winces on the outside of the ring. Ragin’ pushes body off of the ropes and turns around, snatching a hold of the Feline Fighter’s one arm and yanking him forward into a lariat!

CL: Short arm lariat!

CM: Yes! Finally the time has come!

JH: Are both of you blind?! He just low blow’ed Kitten before doing that!

CL: If the referee doesn’t see it, it didn’t happen.

Casually the heavier man moves closer to his fallen foe and flips off a few of the fans that are jeering him; and he delivers an elbow drop to the chest of his opponent. Taking his time, the Russian Jackal gets back up to his feet and pats his elbow before dropping another elbow drop to the chest. XK coughs a bit as he clutches at his aching chest while his challenger gets back up and quickly delivers a third elbow drop straight to the chest. Rolling up to his feet, the Master of Rage actually walks away from the masked feline and heads over to the near by corner. He climbs up on to the first buckle and aims for a moment before he jumps off of it to hit another elbow drop!

CM: Looks like it is Elbow Drop Bargain Bin Sale Day!

JH: …That doesn’t even make any sense.

CL: Whether it does or not is meaningless since Ragin’ is getting the job done.

CM: Like I knew he would!

Idaho’s fans just keep jeering the FIW Legend as Natalya applauds at ringside and Prime watches on with a smirk on his face. Ragin’ gets back up to his feet and heads back over to the ropes, Nightmare and Ethan getting near that area to make sure he doesn’t try to exit the ring. Instead the challenger walks past that area and strides back over to the turnbuckle, grabbing a hold of it and slowly starts to scale up to the very top of it to use it as a perch. All of the lumberjacks start swarming around that area, making sure neither exits the ring while Ragin’s calls for another elbow drop from the top. Sadly, due to all his taunting it allows XK the chance to kip up and rush the corner, scaling up the buckles. Kitten drives his knee right into the bottom of Ragin’s jaw in a leap and both bodies plunge to the outside, taking out all of the lumberjacks in their fall!

JH: DAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNGERRRRRRROOOOOUUUUSSSS~!!! A modified version of the Kao Loi right off of the buckle!

CL: Fully fucking sick! Are any of the lumberjacks still standing?!

CM: Natalya and Lucy look okay and that hobbit Graver is, he’s lurking at the other side of the ringside area.

JH: This is absolutely insane!

Clarke throws up his arms as the fans go nuts at the sight of all these bodies in a pile and slowly but surely, there are signs of life within the bodies. Madrox and Momoko pop out of the pile like some thing out of a horror movie, causing several bodies to tumble else where. One such body, Ragin’, falls down on top of the FIW Hellcat, Kailey Lane, who when she becomes aware of this goes wide eyed for a moment before shoving him off. It isn’t long until Kitten starts to stir and rolls off of Nightmare and Grant Rice, getting up to a knee.

CL: Talk about a fucking car wreck scene.

CM: Hmm, some thing tells he that wasn’t the first top Ragin’ was on top of Kailey…hehe…get it?...

JH: You’re sick Chip.

CL: Oh come on, give him props for that Hitchen, it was actually a rather intelligent joke when it comes to Chip. And least none of them look dead…yet…

Despite what their job is meant to be, Wakari takes this chance to inflict a back rake onto the Dual Crown Champion and Madrox stomps him a few times on the head. Grudgingly they throw him back in the ring afterwards by orders of Tony Clarke and help some of their fellow lumberjacks like Prime up. With what looks like a faint tint of red on her cheeks, Kailey quickly shuffles away from Ragin’ and leaves Ethan Adams and Kiyoshi Nakahata to throw him back into the ring. Both men lay dazed and bruised in the center of the ring, staring up at the lights as Clarke circles around the two of them while the lumberjacks recover.

CM: Hey… is Graver actually sitting on the guard rail like a perch now?

JH: It would appear so, suppose since he’s decided he’s not doing the job he was assigned to do in this match he’d take a seat…

CL: Hey, he did what he’s been assigned to do…once.

CM: Whatever, I’m just hoping Ragin’ can pull through!

Unsurprising the first to start moving is the one who took less of the fall and had his challenger to break some of it for him, Xtreme Kitten. Kitten gets up to one knee and pushes off, staggering over to the Russian Jackal and for good measure delivering a Garvin Stomp! Feeling satisfied, the Feline Fighter bends down and grabs the Master of Rage by his hair and starts pulling him back to up a standing position. Only for when he’s got him up on his knees the FIW Legend digs his thumb right into the eye socket of the champion.

JH: I know I shouldn’t suspect any less from Ragin’, but what a low down move on his part!

CL: Hey, all’s fair in love and war, and this is most certainly war.

CM: You can’t keep a good brilliant bastard down!

JH: I don’t know about brilliant, sneaky and crooked fit him better.

FIW’s senior official sees it and scolds, and even warns the veteran about doing that but Ragin’ just shrugs him off as he gets to his feet. Roughly he snatches a handful of XK’s mask and throws him towards the ropes, with the champ landing neck first against the middle rope. Nonchalantly the Russian Jackal strolls over to the masked feline and leans his knee against the back of his neck as he pulls up on the middle rope, choking him. Clarke tries to warn the Master of Rage again and simply gets a shove for his efforts as the challenger keeps choking the life out of XK!

CL: Simple but effective, I like it.

CM: So do I! Squeeze Ragin’, squeeze!

JH: That’s no way to treat a referee, let alone our senior official!

CL: Eh, being a referee is overrated.

Ensuring an unpleasant sensation, Ragin’ leans even more so and applies more of his weight to the back of Kitten’s neck as he continues to choke him. Just when the Dual Crown Champion’s face beneath the mask looks like it is turning blue a voice rings out, drawing every one’s attention. “Don’t give up! Don’t let that smelly Russian beat you X-Kay!” says a cheerful voice that comes from the walk way. Mostly every one looks at her in confusion while Lucy’s eyes blaze with rage and Kailey groans at the sight of Jaime Lee!

CM: What’s she doing out here?! And more importantly…why does she have her shirt back on?!

JH: I…suppose Jaime Lee, being a fan of Xtreme Kitten, wanted to root him on from ringside.

CL: Looks like Lucy is calling for security or the lumberjacks to handle her.

CM: Why does she have her shirt back on?! Why?!

Come on! You’re totally better than him!” Jaime screeches as she makes her way to ringside, with Kiyoshi and Nightmare having to hold Lucy back from killing her. This display of cheering is baffling the mind of the challenger, who just stares at the woman at ringside like she is some kind of nut job from off the streets. Sadly for Ragin’, this has distracted him long enough for Xtreme Kitten to recover and ram his elbow right into his midsection! “Yay! Yay! Like, get ‘em X-Kay! Get ‘em!” she screams out as she jumps up and down, and claps.

JH: Looks like Jaime served as a good enough distraction for every one for even Ragin’ to forget what he was doing!

CL: Psyyyyychoooooooooo sssstaaaaaaaaalkerrrrrr.

CM: Mmhmmm…Bouncing…

JH: Bloody hell, I think we lost him folks.

XK shakes his head and stumbles back, recovering and driving another elbow back into the gut of his cheating challenger, causing him to double over. With that out of the way Kitten looks down at Jaime and grins, giving her a wink as a gesture of thanks for the help despite not knowing who she is. This gesture initially results in Miss Lee blushing brightly and giggling nervously, until she remembers some thing and gets scared and slaps her forehead. Finally some one answers Lucy’s pleas of removing Jaime, some one that is just as fed up with the ditzy sweetheart, Kailey Lane. One of FIW’s original Hellcats scoops Jaime up and throws her over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, carrying her to the back as Lee protests.

CL: Thank fuck that’s over.

CM: Nooo! Now all the women are gone! And…the…bouncing…

JH: I’m sure you can figure some thing else out to entertain you.

CL: Yes, count how many times Graver blinks as he watches this all, that’s entertainment on par with your level of intelligence.

Utterly puzzled by what just took place, the Feline Fighter shrugs it off and turns around to his gasping opponent who stands back up straight. In a desperate to get a shot in, Ragin’ throws a punch that Kitten avoids but manages to grab the heavier man’s wrist before he pulled it back. With one mighty thrust XK pulls the Master of Rage forward and almost takes his ear bleeding head off with a roundhouse kick! As Kailey Lane returns to ringside Lucy calls for XK to end the bout, but Kitten shakes his head and lifts Ragin’ back up.

CM: Blargh…Hello Kitty Roundhouse Kick…

JH: It might be a mistake on Xtreme Kitten’s part to not try and go for the cover at this point.

CL: Can’t blame him for enjoying inflicting pain on Ragin’.

CM: I will then.

FIW’s Dual Crown Champion throws the challenger into a standing head scissors position, and carefully wraps his arms around the waist of his foe. Only when it comes time to lift him up, XK can’t do it, instead the Russian Jackal swats XK’s hold on him away and stands up. Rather than taking a traditional backdrop, the masked feline proves his heritage by rolling through and landing on his feet behind the Master of Rage. Upon noticing this, the FIW Legend bolts towards the ropes and springs off of them, charging back at XK!

JH: Kitten countered and now Ragin’ is hitting the ropes!

CL: Guess it’s true about what they say about cats always landing on their feet.

CM: Kitten’s in for a world of hurt in a momen-

JH: What the hell are they doing?!

Ragin’ gets a toe kick right to the midsection when he returns, and this time XK is making sure he hits the Kitten’s Meow when he notices some thing. He let’s go of the Master of Rage when he sees Sean Madrox, Prime and Momoko Wakari have all jumped onto the apron, each trying to get in the ring! Tony tries his best to keep all three at bay and XK’s seen enough, walking towards the situation to make it all the more explosive. All three are more than happy to jaw jack with the champ when he comes over and things are looking like they are about to break out into a fist fight.

CL: Real mature, the three of you.

CM: It is! This freak shouldn’t have gotten as far as he has with this title reign!

JH: I’d disagree, but the referee has to do some thing about this now!

CL: Or, they could.

Kiyoshi Nakahata, Ethan Adams and Crackerjack all grab a hold of one of the three troublemakers and yank them down from the apron. It isn’t hard to imagine, but a fight breaks out between the six with Kiyoshi and Prime duking it out as Sean and Ethan do the same and Momoko tries to avoid ‘Jack. The Revolution soon rushes in and overwhelms the Pink Haired Demon alongside Crackerjack, the three of them pounding on her. Kailey Lane looks on with a bit of disgust and Graver for the first time during this entire fiasco actually cracks a smile at the sight of the carnage ensuing. While all of this is going on outside the ring, inside it the Russian Jackal slips some thing out of his tights.

CM: This…this…this is anarchy! And I love it!

JH: Wait, what’s Ragin’ doing?!

CL: Shut up Hitchen, let us enjoy the riot at ringside!

CM: Stupid Revolution! Bunch of sore losers!

Cautiously the Master of Rage stands back up straight and unveils what he is holding in his right hand, it is a steel chain! Swiftly he flicks his hand and the chain spins around in the air, wrapping around his fist tightly and he slinks closer to the champion with a smirk. Suddenly a figure wearing a hoodie hops over the guard rail and slides into the ring, wasting no time to storm right over to the veteran and whips him around! The mystery man swats Ragin’s chain covered hand, knocking it off and scoops him up onto his shoulders. In the blink of an eye the large mystery man throws the two of them back and delivers a vicious cradle backdrop suplex driver to the FIW Legend before rolling out of the ring!

JH: Who is that?! What did he just do?!

CL: He knocked Ragin’ the fuck out is what he did.

CM: That…that…jerk! Whoever he is he is a dead man after that!

JH: He just saved Xtreme Kitten from getting assaulted with a steel chain, he’s alright in my books!

The fans are going absolutely nuts between the riot and the mystery man, Kitten manages to hear the thud over them some how and turns around to find the aftermath. He blinks a few times and strolls over to the Master of Rage, picking him up from where he is laying on the canvas. Not noticing the hoodie wearing figure at ringside, XK shouts out to Tony who turns around in time to see the Cat’s Meow! Xtreme Kitten pushes the Russian Jackal and rolls over his limp form and then covers him, hooking both legs.

CL: Fuck yes! Ragin’ was just spiked on his head again!

CM: Ow-ow-ow-OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUCH~!!!


[align=center]1![/align]


JH: Security is heading down to break up the lumberjacks finally!

CL: Fucking shame, I was enjoying that.


[align=center]2![/align]


CM: Kick out, kick out, kick out, kick out, kick out!

JH: This very well could be all she wrote folks!


[align=center]3~!!!


DING DING DING~!!![/align]


CL:
And thus, the fat lady sings.

CM: Natalya’s not fat damn it!


MA: Your winner by pin fall…AND STILL FIW Dual Crown Champion…XXXXXXXTRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEMMMMMMMEEEEEE KIIIIIIIIIIIITTEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN~!!!


The bell sounding and Michael Anderson’s announcement brings the attention of most of the lumberjacks to the ring. Kitten’s music hits and Lucy slides into the ring to check on her man as Natalya pulls Ragin’s limp and bloody frame out of the ring, shuffling him off to the back. She flashes a glare at Kailey as the two pass the Southern Hell Belle before they disappear. Back in the ring a look of worry starts to set in on Lucy when the mystery man snatches the belts and slides into the ring.

CM: Screw this guy! He messed up Ragin’s chances at winning!

JH: Just who is he?!

CL: Whoever he is, he seems to have taken the belts from the time keeper.

Most of the fans grow silent as Lucy helps XK back up to his feet and he comes face to face with the man that saved him earlier. This hoodie wearing man places the Global title on Kitten’s right shoulder and the World title on his left, patting both of them. Most of the lumberjacks close in on the ring, just in case they have to break any thing up between the two. Slowly the man’s right hand reaches up and grabs his hood, and pulls it back to reveal…

JH: Oh my…oh my lord…

CL: Him?! He’s back?! Well I’ll fucking be!

CM: Matt Impact?! He screwed Ragin’?! Just when I thought he couldn’t sink any lower!

CL: That’s all the time we have tonight folks, for Hitchen and Chip, I’m Constance. We’ll see you next week….you wouldn’t FUCKING DARE miss it! An impact has been made!

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[align=center]Copyright 2007, Full Intensity Wrestling in associate with Sporkco. Studios[/align]
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