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| A Very ReVolt'ing Christmas '07; 12-28-07 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 29 2007, 04:21 AM (450 Views) | |
| Kryten Shards | Dec 29 2007, 04:21 AM Post #1 |
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Unregistered
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[align=center]Sleigh bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling Horses, horses, horses, horses Sleigh bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling BANG Santa Claus suck my balls Drunk as hell ringing bells at the malls Dancer, Prancer, Dixon, and Qupid I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh I sat around all night under the chimney Holdin' my sack like "gimme gimme" I know that he's commin', he's commin', he must Lookin up nothin' but rust, dust Turn on my TV the very next day, I see you're gettin paid leadin' the parade, I'm that sniper on the buildin' Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch Another year and I ain't get shit Another year I ain't get shit If I hear him land on my roof Ohh my undertaker I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Yeah, I got somthin' to say about St. Nick Fuck that ho, he never brought jack shit No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal, So I eat it, cuz there ain't nothin' in the cubboards So I'll be quick, quick and brief Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth I got my teeth kicked out my mouth I need a few new ones, could you help me out Should of known I'd get the short end of the stick No kinda gift, I didn't get shit Some say I was bad but that wasn't it It's all because Santa's a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch Another year and I ain't get shit Another year I ain't get shit If I hear him land on my roof Ohh my undertaker I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth "Oh-ho-ho, don't go that way Roudolf that's the ghettoo. Ho-ho, those boys and girls don't deserve anything." Sleighbells ringling jing jing jingle-ling horses, horses, horses, horses Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been? I see you got cookies and milk on your chin I guess you had time to collect your ends You always been down for your rich friend But Roudolf, he don't bring his sleigh my way Nothin' but dirt and coal for little J I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft You need to loose some of that fat ass, eh All the little rich boys, they gettin' paid Countin' the toys and duckets they made Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit I'm a kill that fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch He ate too much McDonald's Another year and I aint get shit Mrs. Claus is a ho If I hear him land on my roof Slice that bitch in the big red coat I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth For the neighborhood Christmas and everything's whack Not a creature stirrin' but a fuckin rat I ain't hearin' jingle bells I ain't hearin' nothin' Ain't smellin' no turky, sure as hell ain't no stuffin' All that I paid, wished and prayed That fat mutha fucka would swing my way Drop off soldiers and rubber balls But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers Just as I knew it shaft again, and again, and again, and again Every year I wake up to the same old shit....house There be no sign of the fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch Another year and I ain't get shit Another year I ain't get shit If I hear him land on my roof Ohh my undertaker I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Santa Claus is a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch Another year and I ain't get shit Another year I ain't get shit If I hear him land on my roof Ohh my undertaker I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth "He's got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile, A bright red hat you can see for a mile, A bag full of goodies and a great big grin, Here comes Santa Claus again." Copyright 2007, Full Intensity Wrestling in associate with Sporkco. Studios[/align] |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 29 2007, 09:26 AM Post #2 |
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[align=center]FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Crackerjack versus Jay Bain The start of the first match of the tournament came with a bang when Bain rushed the masked monster with a flurry of fists and elbows aimed at the chest & head. Most of the blows were shrugged off from the former UIC and he opted to shove the less experienced warrior and sent him tumbling backwards. Jay ended up nearly on the other side of the ring from it and from there Jack started to stomp and punch the crap out of the smaller man. Many of the Japanese fans cringed as the brute took his time with dishing out the pain and finished off the Flycore contender that was at his mercy. After he had his fill of merely pounding on him, Jack snatched Jay by the throat and tossed him into the air and the young man went well over seven feet into it! Gravity took effect and the rookie belly flopped only for the monster to pick him up and continued to toss him around the ring several more times like a rag doll. Gradually the Reject eased out of throws & tosses and more into slams & drops as he abused the spinal region & neck of Jay. Bain writhed about as he was slammed onto his back and spiked onto his head repeatedly by the masked monster as the fans cried out for mercy for the poor boy. Whatever sinister thought crossed Crackerjack’s mind made him cease this course of action and dragged the rookie’s utterly limp body over to the turnbuckle. Roughly he threw him into it and perched him up onto the second buckle only for Jay to come back to life! As fast as he could Bain launched flurries of head butts & punches & elbow strikes that started to rock the big man and showed hope for some kind of come back for the lad. Unfortunately Jack fought through the agony to hoist up Jay & locked him into the High Rise that hastily got him the tap out victory to hissing like jeers from the Japanese crowd. Winner: Crackerjack FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Adam Wilson versus Mystery Entrant The newer members of the FIW roster had things go from bad to worse for them when the Great White Hype had the misfortune of finding out his opponent was…TIER! FIW’s God of Violence stormed the ring and bashed Wilson’s cranium into the turnbuckle repeatedly to signal his return. To top this assault off he took the young man’s head off with a roundhouse kick that looked like it was very close to punting Adam’s head off of his shoulders. Once down, Tier followed him and dropped into a mounted position and proceeded to clobber the Hype with forearm strikes aimed at the nose & eyes of his opponent. Satisfied with his attack, The Immortal Eternal Red got back to his feet and brought Adam along with him only to get an elbow to the midsection. What happened next left the Japanese fans in shock as Adam’s fists flew and each one connected with the masked face of the Deity. Rage created drive and drive created the power behind the shots as he steadily sent the returning icon further and further back with each shot that sent him reeling. This potential matured did the unthinkable when Wilson pushed the Deity back from the center of the ring to his back against the ropes with mere punches alone! FIW’s God of Violence? He was less amused with this and proved it when he caught one of Adam’s fists in the last punch and twisted it into an arm wringer. Then decided to slap, punch and head butt any near by body part of his less experienced opponent he could get close enough to hit. For the next several minutes Tier showed up the rookie by going through hold to hold, all of the basics were shown with a brutality of strikes added to them. Mixing and blending his perfected technical background with the brawling & martial arts strikes he’s picked up over his many years in the business. Desperation was now the thing that attempted to give life to the little engine-that-could that was Adam Wilson though it was clear who was in control. With only his backyard background to help him, the Hype was like putty in the hands of the Immortal Eternal Red as he stretched him. Headlocks, wrist locks, arm bars, leg locks, bear hugs and many others were applied & wore down the rookie’s senses, will to continue and strength to continue. To a large applause & cheer from the Japanese fans, the end came when Tier locked in the Grindhouse and Adam immediately tapped out to the dangerous maneuver. Winner: Tier FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Jim O’Brien versus Roxie Galanoochie In another battle of the old against the new Roxie seemed to be all too ready to suffer a similar fate as the two younger talents that came before her. O’Brien overwhelmed the lass with his strikes from the early going and dominated her with them, leaving her dazed & bewildered. Forearm, elbow, palm strikes were the Hellcat’s diet for this evening and one that slowly bruised her face & left her looking like she had one too many to drink. Salivation arrived in the form of Daisuke Tanaka, Mr. Blond and Shaun Wilson as they strolled down to ringside as casual as could be for three men in business suits. While the referee tended to Galanoochie by mere chance Tanaka had happened to see some thing in the ring and tried to grab it, by accident tripping the Monster of FIW too. To his credit, the aforementioned monster tried his best to ignore it till Roxie managed to land in a good punch on his cheek because of the dirty tactic from Daisuke. Attempting to maintain a match, Jim brought the two of them into the technical aspect of wrestling and this was probably not such a great idea. While the veteran held his own, it was clear that Roxie was no slouch and went hold for hold and counter for counter with him in their exchange. Many of the Osaka fans were impressed when Galanoochie even managed to one up the Man in Black a few times and show her own dominance. Course O’Brien rallied back and showed just because he’s big he isn’t to be taken lightly in this section of combat as he stretched her. Some thing he would’ve continued to do but Blond felt he needed to discuss LOST with the referee immediately & Shaun spotted some thing in the ring. It must’ve been a fly or some thing as he hurried in to hit it and by pure chance nailed Jim in the head instead. Out on his feet, Jim still had the presence of mind to spike the Hellcat right on her head with a saito suplex that left both of them out on their backs. As the seconds ticked by and the First Monster of FIW started to rise Blond just couldn’t hold his inner fanboy in any more & ran in. The referee stopped him from getting his autograph & complained at him to wait when Daisuke must’ve spotted that darn fly again, because he rolled in & whacked Jim over the head with his bukkon. Roxie found her way back up to her feet after both her team mates had left the ring, having done the right thing, and to jeers hit Toprope Dancin’ for the three count! Winner: Roxie Galanoochie[/align] |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 29 2007, 09:30 AM Post #3 |
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[align=center]FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Kennedy versus Liam Mortell Unlike the matches previous, this one did not begin with an exchange of strikes or shots of any kind between the two wrestlers. Rather FIW’s Leading Lady attempted to do just that only for her arm to get caught for its troubles and Mortell show his judo training with a traditional throw. From there the England native worked over the FIW veteran with a series of holds to her arms, wearing them down and getting a polite applause from the fans. However Miss Sommers to her credit managed eventually to get to the ropes or counter out of each hold the more experienced wrestler put her into in his contorting of her body. Steadily Kennedy brought the two of them back up to their feet and now on them, she was able to show she wasn’t a novice when it came to the technical game either. Her holds and stretches getting polite applause as well as both of them got a few “Ooos” and Aaahs” from the crowd. When momentum started to swing more solidly back into Liam’s favor the Hellcat disrupted it with a few quick elbow shots to the head that freed her from the wrist lock. The more common side of her style shined as she raced to the ropes and came off of them back towards Mortell only to be a victim of the SPINEBUSTAAH! Frustration was apparent on Kennedy’s face as the wrestler floated over and locked her into more holds, still targeting her arms & chipping away at them. Jujigatame was the final hold he applied out of this series and it proved to be the trickiest for the Premier Hellcat to escape. Minutes ticked by and with each one her energy & life left her, and the former FSC looked closer & closer to advancing to the next round of the tournament. Finally she made it to the ropes and Liam was forced to break the hold and did so only to get a punch from Kennedy right in his bad shoulder for his troubles! As both pulled themselves back up on their feet Kennedy resumed what she had wanted from the beginning of the match, her strikes. Now all of them were aimed at the bad shoulder of Mortell that brought about a mixed reaction from the crowd over such a tactic being used by her. Some applauded and others jeered the action that capped off with a J.F.K. straight to the bad shoulder that sent Mortell down to a knee as he clutched at it & groaned. In the blink of an eye FIW’s Leading Lady nailed the Shot Heard Round the World & covered the English Gentleman for the three count & advancement. Winner: Kennedy FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Prime versus T-Bird Looking worse for wear from last week, Prime was surprisingly in control during the early part of the match when Tanya rushed at him and tried for a quick takedown. The monster simply batted her away with a back handed slap (“bitch slap” as the kids call it) and then sent her to the mat head first with a shoulder block. With relative ease he scooped her back up and tossed her across the ring, her face meeting top buckle in a nasty collision! As she stumbled out of the corner he sought to demolition her with the Shotgun to applause and a soft cheer from the usually quiet Japanese Fans in attendance. T-Bird was down and it didn’t look like that was changing and so the Evolution of Excellence took the time to lick his wounds as he winced & groaned. Slowly the Hellcat got back up to her feet and bolted towards the monster and delivered a missile dropkick that sent him staggering. In an attempt to take the chance, Tanya rushed forward and threw out a barrage of strikes that the Dual Crown contender shrugged off and shoved her away for! When she rolled right back up to her feet she was met with a nasty surprise in the shape of Prime’s tree trunk like arm when it clobbered her with a lariat & followed by a kiss to it. Blood trickled out of her nose from the devastating maneuver and the big man pulled her up by her hair only to sloppily throw her in a poor man’s judo throw. It became clear that this was a message to a certain Judo Sensei when Bird got back up only to be met by another sloppy judo throw. Tired of playing around with her, FIW’s Adonis hoisted her up and dropped her down with a thud in the form of his signature technique, the Impact Play! Followed up by the full nelson that forced T-Bird to tap out near immediately from the agony of the hold! Winner: Prime FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Ethan Adams versus Lara Toni When the fact that Ethan Adams was her debut opponent came to light for her it was clear on Lara’s face, because it happened when his entrance music hit. Confused and turning to her manager for answers, Toni never saw the leg lariat from her opponent coming till it was too late. She scrambled to get back to her feet yet Adams was there to cut her off and lock up with her, already obviously confident this one was in the bag for him. Further this was shown when the First Wonder of the World started to playfully lock in basic submission holds and slap the Hellcat to embarrass her in front of the fans. Misfortune struck the High Spot Sensation as this newest member of the roster was more than a pretty face & she proved that when she countered out of his hold. In the process she locked in one of her own much to the shock and embarrassment of Ethan as the Japanese fans applauded her. Minutes blew by as Ethan, furious, tried to redeem himself and Lara went hold for hold with the more experienced wrestler in their exhibition of chain wrestling. Several times the two managed to secure close calls on the others where it looked like to the referee and to the fans that it might just be the end of the match. The end of this exchange came when Adams countered out of a leg scissors and decided to play up to the crowd how great he was for being able to do just that. A mistake as Toni returned to her feet and spun him around and started to lay into him with punches & forearm strikes to the cranium. This young Hellcat rocked the former FSC and left him with his head bobbling all over the place from her strikes that were encouraged by Orion at ringside. Ethan looked utterly mystified by this lass’ heart & ability and it showed when she sent him almost out of the ring with a running monkey flip to cap off her strikes. Osaka’s fans applauded and cheered on the Hellcat and it was as clear as crystal that it was getting to the young lady who grinned & played up to it. With her foe down she teased going to the top rope to them and it got a bigger applause from the Japanese fans in attendance. Orion tried to warn her to ignore them but Lara strolled over to the turnbuckle and started to scale up it, playing up to the crowd along the way to keep them excited. Problem was that Ethan kipped up onto his feet in this time and scurried up the turnbuckle too, snatched her, and nailed his Show Stopper before he made the cover & won! Winner: Ethan Adams[/align] |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 29 2007, 09:33 AM Post #4 |
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[align=center]FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Elrick versus Steve Patterson Similar to vultures Steve’s Reject comrades in Felix Arroyo & Onikage circled the ringside area as the match got under way between Elrick and him. One half of Hardcore Sex went for a spinning wheel kick only for the England native to side step out of the way of the kick! He hurried and lifted Patterson up & proceeded to toss the smaller and much more emo man around the ring for the next few minutes that transpired in the match. Arroyo tried to root on his fellow tag champion while the Japanese fans applauded Elrick’s efforts as he ended the tossings when he threw Patterson into one of the corners. From there he opened up on the Reject with punches, first left jabs hammered themselves into the midsection of the Emo Kid that rattled him to the bone. So many were connected with that the fans lost count and then he moved onto left handed haymakers that further abused the younger man’s body. Each haymaker that Patterson took made him look closer & closer to the edge and ready to collapse in the corner right there and then as he was beaten on. Fiction turned reality when the Career Killer delivered a vicious right handed uppercut that sent the Reject actually into the air from it & sent sweat flying off of him. Or, so it would seem until Steve flipped all the way through and nailed a dropsault along the way that resulted in Elrick stumbling back out of the corner. With his chance in sight, the tag champion barreled forward and almost took the veteran’s head off with a spinning leg lariat! Now that Elrick was down the Emo Kid fired out a wicked combination of a standing senton splash, a standing moonsault and a standing shooting star legdrop. This combination was rounded out by a caprana off of the middle rope and once he took the cover he got a two count for his troubles. With Kiyoshi nowhere in sight and Onikage not competing, the Japanese fans were strongly behind the Career Killer to make a come back in this bout. Their support channeled his inner fighting spirit and despite kicks from Patterson to attempt to stop it, Elrick powered back. At rapid fire pace he launched an all out assault of punches, forearm strikes & elbow strikes that sent the Reject reeling & made Felix worried for his team mate. Just when it looked like the veteran was ready to put him away, the Emo Kid delivered a picture perfect Broken Heart and rolled him up for the three count! Winner: Steve Patterson FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Nightmare versus Shaun Wilson © for the FIW Flycore Championship The match never made it to the ring as Wilson jumped Nightmare from behind when he was making his entrance into the ringside area of the arena. FIW’s Flycore Champion took the brawl out to the crowd where the Prince of Pain and him traded shots with one another to applause. Insult to injury, Wilson even took a plastic beer cup from one of the fans and smashed it over the skull of his challenger before he whipped him into some chairs. He rushed after the Revolution member only for the bigger man to get to his feet & belly to belly suplex Shaun into another pile of chairs that the fans left when they scattered! Gradually the two made their way outside of the seating arrangement and into the lobby where the Prince of Pain smashed Wilson’s face against the hard wall. In return the champion whipped the larger man into a food cart that from the impact sent him flipping over it! To further add to the chaos Shaun dropkicked the cart and sent it toppling over onto Nightmare, and some of the nacho cheese burnt the cheek of Nightmare! As he screamed out in agony he succeeded in getting out from underneath the cart & chased after the Zaibatsu member. It wasn’t long before he caught up to him & the two started to trade fists with each other again, an extra kick from the African Whoop Ass Machine sent his foe down some stairs! Quick to follow, Wilson leapt into the air and with a modified tope con hilo took out Nightmare and a small huddle of fans that had helped him to his feet after the fall! The Flycore Phenom and the Prince of Pain recovered soon enough and were back to their punches & brawling that led them into the public bathroom! Revolution’s one half slammed Shaun’s head into the steel pipes of one of the urinals and delivered a suplex on the floor! He got a one count for his troubles and yanked the small man back up, and whipped him right towards the stalls only for it to get reversed and send the big man instead! Nightmare crashed against the side of the nearest stall and a domino effect occurred where one after another the bathroom stalls crumbled underneath his sheer mass! Shaun swung one of the fallen doors open to have it whack against the head of his challenger and then positioned it just right. The champion in a flawless moment delivered the K.T.F.O. that sent Nightmare head first…into one of the toilets! As he gave the bigger man a swirlie he covered him & scored the pin fall victory! Winner & Still Champion: Shaun Wilson FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Mr. Blond versus Extreme Ninja #2 © for the FIW Fighting Spirit Championship From one Tanaka Zaibatsu member’s match to another, Blond made a hasty entrance and the champion soon followed after him in suit. Their first ever singles encounter started out with the Cajun giving his Japanese (by way of Michigan) friend a back handed chop to the chest. Not to be an unkind soul, Ninja shared a back handed chop right back to his new Cajun buddy that left an echo effect afterwards in the arena from the blow. And, so minutes ticked by as the two struck each other again & again with chops that got applause from the fans. It ceased when Ninja saw a chance & took it, hoisting up his foe and looked to be going for a brainbuster of some kind till Blondie’s thumb met his throat. As he gagged and tried to breath the Cajun being the sweet hearted man he is reversed their roles & spiked the champion right on his head with a brainbuster! A point ahead, the former tag champion tried his luck and attempted to go for a second brainbuster only to get palm strikes to his beautiful face for his troubles. When he dropped FIW’s O.G. Ninja he hopped into the air and wrapped his legs around Blond’s spike, he brought him over & spiked him on the head with a hurricanrana! Both men rolled to their feet and clutched their necks only for EN #2 to try to take his challenger by surprise and got a suspiciously low punch for his troubles. From there it was child’s play for Blond to lock in the front chancery and throw his body back, and he nailed the DDT to go 2 to 1. When he tried to get back up to his feet it was a different story for the Cajun however as Ninja sweep kicked out his legs from underneath him to applause. There the two rolled around on the mat for several minutes, Ninja attempted to palm strike & forearm strike the Cajun into oblivion as the Cajun tried to cheap shot & lock in submissions. The advantage to the Zaibatsu member when what mysteriously looked a lot like a roll of quarters in his hand aided his miracle knock-out punch. Feeling good about his chances for championship gold as the time ticked down, Mr. Blond drove the dazed Ninja into the mat with a spiked german suplex for 3 to 1! Just like that, some thing sent a switch off in EN #2 and he rose back to his feet in a silent roar to cheers & applause from Osaka’s fans in attendance! “The Fighting Spirit of Love~!” is what his sign read as he ducked under Blond and went behind, he delivered a hat trick of backdrop drivers in the closing seconds to retain & win! Winner & Still Champion: Extreme Ninja #2[/align] |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 29 2007, 09:37 AM Post #5 |
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[align=center]FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Daisuke Tanaka versus Felix Arroyo With the Rejects two for two and the Tanaka Zaibatsu two for three so far, both Daisuke Tanaka and Felix Arroyo obviously felt the pressure as they entered their match. Right out of the gate Tanaka tried to end it early with one of his many flash pins that actually got him a very close two count. So close, Arroyo afterwards double checked he kicked out in time and then moved in to get to work against the leader of the opposing faction. To keep his distance, the Crow fired off some fairly weak kicks and continued to slip backwards in a graceful manner that showed his stealth training. Eventually Felix got his hands on his lover boy and smacked him silly with open hand slaps that made Blondie cringe & comb his quiff harder than normal at ringside. Roxie & Shaun soon joined their comrade at ringside and eyed Onikage & Steve Patterson who was also at ringside. As the tension between the two factions boiled outside, inside Felix & Daisuke traded slaps and kicks while Daisuke tried to create some distance between the two again. When that didn’t work he fell back on yet another flash pin that Felix rolled through to counter into a german suplex, and then mounted Tanaka & started to pound on him! Just when it looked like the Fierce One might be roughing up Tanaka too much, the referee was pulled out of the ring by their feet by none other than Blondie! Who proceeded to wrap his arm around them & point out how lovely the Osaka people had placed the lights in the arena. While this went on the Flycore Champion some how got confused & stumbled into the ring, and must’ve thought Felix was a fan because he kicked him! Likewise, Patterson must’ve thought Shaun was a fan because he bolted into the ring and almost spear tackled him out of his boots & traded shots with him as they rolled out of the ring! Once the referee was paying attention again the Crow was the first to get to his feet and pointed to his head as he watched Felix start to get up to his too. Memory lane smacked Daisuke in the face as he heaved to summon & spew the mist as he watched the dazed Felix stumbling. Suddenly he swallowed back down the mist with an even more miserable than usual scowl & shook his head, knowing what awaited him should he try that. Wasted time for Daisuke is time needed for Felix, who got up & snuck up behind him to set him up for the Fierce Bomb…only for Tanaka to counter it when he rolled them up & held the ropes (without the referee knowing) for the three! Winner: Daisuke Tanaka FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Nick Allen versus Grant Rice © for the FIW Undisputed International Championship In his first defense of the championship, Rice tried to start out the contest with some good ole fashion technical wrestling against the challenger, Nick Allen. The aforementioned challenger had other ideas when he slugged Grant right in the kisser for his attempt & several more rained down! These shots left him dizzy though he managed to regroup and launched a counter attack with a few punches of his very own that rocked Allen just as badly! After he wiped his mouth, Nick nodded in acknowledgement that the champ was pretty good and the two of them started to circle each other with their dukes up. Back and fourth the two went as they shared jabs and haymakers with each other, Grant saved himself from knock out a handful of times by blocking or being evasive. Opposite to that was Allen who simply blocked a few shots but took most of them as he continued to try to plow through them. The fans applauded and even cheered a little as sweat started to form and fly off of the two men as they delivered flurries of punches to each other in tremendous fashion. It was the challenger’s strategy that was the downfall for him as the collective might of all the shots he took started to show their tall tell signs on him & his actions. So apparent was this that even Nick Allen who was normally stubborn sensed the fate that was rapidly approaching him at the hands of Rice. To at least delay it he exploded with a outburst and his fists flew like lightning and drilled into the cranium of the champion with each shot. Reeled and almost out on his feet, Grant kept his balance and rushed forward and ducked right underneath a knock-out uppercut from Nick to hit UZI! The kick crumbled Allen and the Revolution member wasted no time to lock in Straight Mizery, and Nick in fear of his ankle & the pain he was experiencing tapped! Winner & Still Champion: Grant Rice FIW Grand Prix 2007 Tournament Quarter-Finals: Drake Love versus Jaime Lee © for ownership of the FIW Hellcat Division Championship Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night so far was when Drake Love laid down on the mat as soon as the bell rang for the match. Jaime Lee looked around and seemed suspicious of what was going on at first and then shrugged her shoulders over it after a few seconds. She dropped down and made the cover, and hooked the leg & the referee counted the pin fall and got to three to make it the shortest match of all. FIW’s Sweetheart hopped back up to her feet and was presented with her championship as the Osaka fans hissed in jeers at what they just witnessed. Winner & Still Champion: Jaime Lee[/align] |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 07:56 PM Post #6 |
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MA: The following is the first match in the semi-final rounds of the Grand Prix tournament! Introducing first... weighing in at three hundred and nineteen pounds... from the alleys of New York City... he is CCCRRRRAAACCCKKKEERRRRJJAAACCKKK!!! The first second of the song, all lights go out save a white flashing strobelight that comes on with each heavy bass beat. This happens for about ten seconds until the solo distorted guitar kicks in for the arrival of the monster that is Crackerjack. Right behind him is the familiar figure of face paint and a crimson trench coat, the advisor to the masked monster, Onikage. Jack's sheer size seems larger through semi darkness as his appearance even more frightening through the flashing strobelights. He stands there for a moment before moving down through calypso given steel drum beats. Crackerjack slowly makes his way down to the ring making sure each step counts while looking around through different sections of the crowd one booing fan at a time. The entire time the Messiah of the Mind whispers things to Crackerjack from behind him as he follows down to the ringside area. The white strobelights slowly becoming a mixture of navy blue and a normal blue. Soon, the monster is ready to enter the ring. Instead of actually going in though, Crackerjack stands there and overlooks the ring from between the top and middle rope. In a quick instant, Crackerjack seizes the top rope and uses it to keep balance as he pulls his entire form up in one step to the apron. Still outside the ring, Crackerjack walks along the apron for a few steps before turning around and entering the ring over the top rope where the purple light that overshadows the ring awaits him. Now inside, the huge monstrosity of evil takes his time walking around the ring in a slow, yet methodical circle. Onikage circles the ringside area the entire time, eyeing FIW staff and fans with those soulless white eyes and a smile on his painted features. Crackerjack continues to walk around as the normal houselights slowly overtake the purple cover. The lights drop suddenly and all we have are spotlights and strobes out over the audience along with the flashes of cameras. The beat starts in and the lights begin to flash on and off in time with it, illuminating a figure moving through thick fog, cloaked heavily in a hooded coat and gas mask. He strolls darkly down the aisle, not looking at the fans or his opponent; only on his destination. MA: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 236 lbs... he hails from Mission, Texas.... THIS! ... IS! ... TIIIIIIEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!! Tier climbs the steps and walks along the apron. He casts a dramatic backward glance at the audience before entering the ring. Tier removes his coat and hands it to the referee, letting his scarred body glitter in the flashing light as Angelspit's remix of KMFDM's Tohuvabohu dies down. DING-DING The bell sounds and there's no traditional collar and elbow tie-up. That'd just be silly. Instead, Crackerjack comes out of the box with his hand clamped around Tier's throat with shockingly scary speed. Tier doesn't waste any time in booting Crackerjack's knee to get out of the hold. He follows it up by throwing low kicks to the sides of both 'Jack's knees. The monster wobbles from the blows but gets a moment of recovery as Tier backs off the ropes. Whatever he was building momentum for never comes as Crackerjack throws a big-time lariat... that Tier evades by rolling under. Tier pops up to his feet and DROPKICKS CRACKERJACK'S KNEE RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER HIM! JH: This one is off to a fast and furious start. Tier is going to have to hit and run like he's doing to chop this giant down. CL: If anyone can do it, it'll be Tier. He's battled them all. CM: That was like hundred years ago. Tier's the new zombie Flair. He shouldn't even be in this match. His win over Adam Wilson was a FLUKE! Adam's younger, smarter, stronger and simply better! Tier stays on top of things by... getting on top of things! He jumps into a mounted position, laying into Crackerjack with all the strikes he can muster. Haymakers upside the head, some chops across the blood splattered mask... it's all good until Crackerjack manages to throw Tier off to the side! Tier rolls back to his feet, leaping back onto Crackerjack before he can actually get up. A few more shots knock 'Jack loopy but he still refuses to stay down, once again throwing Tier off him. CL: Tier isn't hitting and running like you suggested, Hitchen. JH: You're right. He's getting right in the face of Crackerjack. I can't say I agree with that strategy. CM: If this turns into a slugfest, Crackerjack is advancing. Tier once again shakes off 'Jack's brush-off and leaps back into the fray... only for Crackerjack to once again move with surprising speed TAKING TIER'S HEAD OFF WITH A RAISING CLOTHESLINE! JH: Good God! That near supernatural speed from Crackerjack. CM: Speed and power. Crackerjack is going to put Tier six feet under. CL: He'll just come back more fucking awesome than ever like he always does. Crackerjack grabs Tier by the throat and easily lifts him off the canvas, and effortlessly transitions into a bearhug before THROWING TIER OVERHEAD WITH A BELLY TO BELLY! Tier crashes into the canvas and once again Crackerjack moves swiftly and is in a mounted position, cracking Tier in the gas mask with violent punches that connect with authority! CM: Told ya! Slugfest and now Crackerjack is advancing! JH: Don't count Tier out yet. I've seen him get out of tighter situations than this one. Crackerjack breaks the mounted position to stand at Tier's head, calling the legendary figure to his feet. If we could see Tier's face, he'd probably be out of it right now. But we can't. What we can see is Tier struggling to sit up from the cerebral assault he just received. But he does manage to sit up... which is just what 'Jack wanted! Like a tiger attack his prey, Crackerjack lunges at Tier, locking up both his arms and YANKING Tier up to his feet! 'Jack presses his hands behind Tier's neck and LIFTS HIM UP OFF HIS FEET! CM: HIGH RISE! Crackerjack's got Tier in the High Rise! This one's over! JH: It ain't over til it's over. Tier's got a lot of fight left in him. CL: I don't think Crackerjack is even aware of who he's in the ring with and who Tier is capable of. We haven't seen anything yet. Tier kicks his feet out wildly, trying every which way to shake himself free from Crackerjack's death grip. It's all for naught as 'Jack keeps his hold on tight, even walking around the ring while holding up all of Tier's weight. Mark Jackson has the unfortunate task of following Crackerjack around the ring, asking Tier if he gives up. Several stern NO's seem to piss 'Jack off and he THROWS TIER FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT! CM: He's capable of a nice crash and burn. He's lucky he's got that mask on or he'd be eating some canvas right now. CL: If you think that's going to keep Tier down, you're sadly fucking mistaken. Crackerjack folds Tier's leg up and drops down onto the former Revolutionary with an STF--- oops, no. As Crackerjack tries to lock up Tier's neck, he gets an elbow fired back into his face! Tier rolls onto his back and KICKS Crackerjack as hard as he get in the knee. 'Jack loses his footing an falls fowards-- FACE-FIRST INTO TIER'S RAISED KNEE (complete with brace)! JH: Tier counters out of the STF and-- OH MY GOD! He just took Crackerjack's knee out and-- CL: Drove his knee right into Crackerjack's face! That knee brace did some facial damage. I wish we could see it. CM: Calm down. You're worse than a Hannah Montana fan! Tier rolls to his feet, shaking the lagging affects out of his arms before stretching out Crackerjack's mask with a jumping face stretch. I'm sure it hurt 'Jack's face some too. 'Jack fights to his feet, holding his face (mask) while backing into the turnbuckle. Maybe he's straightening the mask out from that face stretch. But either way, he isn't prepared as Tier comes rushing in CLOTHESLINING 'Jack into the turnbuckle and running out with a FACEPLANT BULLDOG! JH: The Iron Cross! Tier is taking this thing back into control. CL: Was there any doubt? He's a fuckin' legend for a reason! The crowd is going crazy as Tier nails the Iron Cross but he doesn't waste time celebrating. Anxious to put the monster away before he can mount more offense, Tier rushes the turnbuckle as fast as his braced knees will take him. He ascends to the top rope and SAILS through the air DRIVING A KNEE BRACE INTO CRACKERJACK'S FACE WITH A MOONSAULT! CM: OUCH! JH: GOOD SWEET CHRIST! A moonsault to Crackerjack's face! CL: A moonsault KNEE DROP to Crackerjack's face! JH: He's certainly utilizing that knee brace to gain an advantage over a larger opponent. Tier rolls away from Crackerjack, clutching his knee bad enough that Mark Jackson has to check for an injury. No X thrown up (real or planned) reveals that Tier still wants to (and can) continue. Unfortunately for him, so can Crackerjack WHO SITS UP! CM: Ha! He hurt his knee-- AH! JH: Crackerjack sat right up! And I think you're right. Tier's knee looks to be bothering him after that moonsault. CL: I have to give it to Crackerjack. Anyone who can sit up after getting that knee brace driven into their face like that is a tough son of a bitch. But he's fighting TIER! He'd be better off staying down. Crackerjack climbs to his feet and gets a kick to the stomach from Tier. The Immortal Red locks Crackerjack up in a front facelock... and gets shoved backwards! Tier rebounds off the ropes and gets caught around the throat! Crackerjack lifts Tier up AND SITS OUT WITH A CHOKESLAM! NO! Tier leaps out of the hold, landing behind Crackerjack. As soon as 'Jack spins around, he gets another boot to the stomach and BAM! TIER PLANTS CRACKERJACK WITH A SIT-OUT DDT! CL: WEEEEGGGGEEENNNLLLLEEEEIIIIDDDD!!! [align=center]ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!![/align] MA: Your winner, advancing into the finals... TTTTTIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!! JH: Tier picks up this second victory tonight! CL: Look at that awesome exchange at the end. Crackerjack counters the Wegenleid, Tier counters the Visions of Nell and hits the Wegenleid for the three! "Tohuvabohu" reprises of the speakers as Tier rolls off of Crackerjack's laid out form, getting his arm raised by Mark Jackson. Tier rolls out of the ring, limping just slightly on the knee drive into Crackerjack's face on the moonsault. Tier raises a fist proudly into the air to another round of cheers from the crowd before exiting backstage. |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 07:59 PM Post #7 |
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MA: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a semi-final round in the Grand Prix tournament! [align=center]It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's DARE It's DARE[/align] This quick introduction can only mean one things as Roxie Galanoochie takes to the stage. Forgoing the pleasantries of a dance, Roxie walks down the stairs and starts off towards the ring. Blue and white strobes enshrine her as she ignores all calls from the fans whether they be the verbal cat call or the extended hand for a hand slap. Such an unpleasant actions seems funny to her as she smiles. [align=center] that's what you do it baby Hold it down there Jump with them all and move it Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself work it out [/align] MA: Introducing first from New York, New York, weighing in at one hundred and twenty three pounds…ROXIEEEEEEEEEE…GAAAAAALAAAANOOOOCHIEEEEEEEEEEeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Roxie reaches up grabbing hold of the middle rope and places her left knee up on the apron before pushing up on the right foot to get the other knee up there as well. Up on the apron, Roxie releases the middle rope and slides her head under it as her right knee joins in as well. Roxie remains straddling the bottom rope to take the moment to laugh out at the fans wanting to see her fall once again. Roxie lifts in her left leg and crawls around for a few seconds along the ropes before using the corner turnbuckle to pull herself up first to her knees. Roxie takes another moment to look through the crowd a smile etched on her face until she suddenly spins around, kicks out her legs, and takes a seated position in the corner. [align=center] It's coming up It's coming up It's DARE Never did no harm Never did no harm[/align] Roxie remains seated for a moment bobbing her head along with the beat until finally pulling herself up to her feet using the top rope. It’s a slow movement that gives a mighty fine arch in her favour. So mighty in fact that when she releases the rope and rears forward the momentum buildup is enough to get in a decent cartwheel that Roxie ends by shooting both arms in the air, fists clenched, letting out a refreshing smile of self approving accomplishment. It’s then that the music fades out and lights resume to normal velocity. A low feedback buzzes through the speakers before 'Up Here' crashes into the system, bringing the crowd to their feet as Kennedy steps through the curtain. She moves to the end of the stage, rebounding slightly and raising both arms into the air, gazing out at the fans in attendance. She makes her way towards the ring, stopping halfway to acknowledge the crowd‘s reaction for her. MA: And the opponent, making her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California… KEEEENNNNNEEEDDDYYYY!!!! Reaching the ring, she slides in under the bottom rope and immediately bounds to her feet. She rushes to the furthest turnbuckle, scaling it and raising her arms into the air to thousands of flashing bulbs. She drops back down to the mat, spinning around and rushing across the ring, up the opposite turnbuckle to another round of camera flashes. She eventually drops back down to the mat, turning to awaiting the start of the match. DING-DING! Roxie is the first to make a move. Although it's nothing too endangering to Kennedy. Roxie actually has the gall to step out of her corner, motioning towards herself and asking Kennedy if she actually wants a piece of this. Rather arrogant of Roxie. It becomes obvious why when Daisuke mysteriously passes by the camera at ringside. No sooner than we focus on him, wondering how he appeared so mysteriously, we also see Mr. Blond and Shaun Wilson on the opposite side of the ring. JH: What the hell is this? The entire Zaibatsu is out here. CM: Support, Hitchen! They're supporting their members. JH: This is ridiculous. If they cost Kennedy this match it will be a travesty. Remember when the Rejects did something similar to her during the Time Trials? I certainly do. CM: She eventually got her title match. What's the big deal? The entire Zaibatsu circle the ring like vultures as Roxie once again asks Kennedy if she wants a piece of this. It is decided that Kennedy does as the Premier Hellcat throws a hard forearm right into Roxie's face, knocking the hellcat down to the canvas! JH: Looks like Kennedy isn't one bit initimidated by Roxie! CM: Just wait until she gets a load of the look Daisuke is throwing her way. Roxie tries to scramble back to her feet, getting pushed back into the turnbuckle by Kennedy in the process. Kennedy grabs Roxie by the ears and steps out of the corner SLINGING the hellcat across the ring with authority! Roxie does a full flip and crashes back first into the canvas, immediately forcing herself up to her feet and backing into the opposite turnbuckle while holding a hand out to keep an advancing Kennedy at bay. It doesn't as Kennedy swats her hand aside and once again grabs Roxie by the ears, repeating the process! JH: Kennedy certainly is not intimidated by Roxie or the Zaibatsu. She's showing Roxie who the dominant hellcat is. CL: Kennedy has laid claim to that for a long time now and other than Kailey Lane, she hasn't had much competition. But this current crop of hellcats are certainly putting her on notice. I think that maybe have something to do with this new aggression. CM: Roxie's my favorite hellcat. Because she'll take her clothes off for money. Ha! Kennedy grabs a handful of Roxie's hair, dragging her up to her feet before hooking her up and snapping her over with a suplex that once again slams Roxie's back into the canvas. Kennedy nips up to her feet, shooting a look right back to Daisuke's glare before returning her attention to Roxie. She once again drags Roxie upright, getting a forearm to the midsection for her troubles. Roxie throws a second and a third to back Kennedy off and then sprints off the ropes-- right into a hip toss from Kennedy! CL: Roxie is trying but she can't seem to build any momentum here tonight. JH: I think she got too cocky at the arrival of the Tanaka Zaibatsu. That's what's got her out of her game. CM: I think Kennedy's just bullying Roxie. Kennedy's offensive streak doesn't last long as Daisuke slides in under the bottom rope, only to back pedal when Kennedy makes a move for him. He does, however, provide a long enough distraction for Roxie to get herself back up and DRAG Kennedy onto the back of her head with a hair takedown! CM: Can’t build momentum? What about that brilliant move swinging the match into her favor? JH: Thanks to a timely distraction from Daisuke! Roxie immediately starts stomping down on the Leading Lady, getting a proud smirk from Daisuke on the outside. Roxie drags Kennedy up to her feet, locking her up in a front facelock and DROPPING HER INTO THE CANVAS WITH A DDT! Roxie, despite Daisuke's encouragement to make a quick cover, points to the sky. She quickly ascends to the top rope and sails through the air... CRASHING INTO THE CANVAS AS KENNEDY ROLLS ASIDE! CL: Roxie should really listen to Daisuke. JH: She certainly wouldn’t have been introduced to the canvas in such a way if she had. CM: Roxie has a lot riding on this match! Jaime’s already advanced into the semi-finals. Roxie has to make it to the finals otherwise Jaime has the opportunity to outdo her! JH: Roxie’s obsession with one-upping Jaime is just getting plain ridiculous! Mr. Blond leaps up onto the apron immediately upon Roxie’s impact, drawing Kennedy’s attention in the form of a wild right hand that sends him flying off the apron. In a flash, Kennedy sprints across the ring and knocks Shaun Wilson off the apron next with a baseball slide dropkick as he attempts to do what Mr. Blond was also caught trying. Kennedy gets back to her feet and turns just as Roxie comes running right into a drop toe hold from Kennedy, dropping Roxie’s throat across the ring ropes! JH: Kennedy is one step of the opposition tonight. Showing her experience in there with company like the Zaibatsu at ringside. CL: You’re not going to survive against someone like the Zaibatsu unless you’ve got experience in situations like this. Kennedy grabs Roxie by the hair, dragging her into the center of the ring before aggressively applying a standing headscissors. Kennedy’s eyes are dead-set on Daisuke as she flips Roxie up onto her shoulders and DRILLS HER INTO THE CANVAS WITH A POWERBOMB! Kennedy continues to stare at Daisuke with a determined expression as she steps over Roxie and climbs up to the top rope. Everything in Daisuke shows him itching to do something but RK’s ready and has a watchful eye on the sneaky competitor. Kennedy only takes her eyes off him long enough to snap off the turnbuckle, CRASHING INTO ROXIE WITH A MOONSAULT! JH: That is how to do a moonsault, folks! CL: And Kennedy has the cover! [align=center]ONE! TWO!! ROXIE KICKS OUT![/align] To everyone’s surprise (and Daisuke’s relief) Roxie manages to flip her shoulder off the canvas at the last possible second. Kennedy gets up to her knees, glaring down at Roxie before going over into a mounted position, laying into Roxie with right hands. She pulls Roxie up to her feet, aggressively pulling her into a front facelock. Kennedy shoots Daisuke another glare before kicking her leg and DROPPING ROXIE VERTICALLY WITH A DDT! JH: Murder of One! Kennedy just drilled Roxie with a spine-tingling DDT! CM: And notice how she’s baiting Daisuke to-- do just that! CL: Daisuke is on the apron again! CM: Kennedy’s instigating this! RK is now arguing with Daisuke to get off the apron while Daisuke apparently has something very important that needs pointed out. What, I’m not sure. Kennedy has been very legal thus far in the match. Kennedy realizes that the cover is not being counted and discovers that Daisuke has once again stuck his nose into the contest. Once he realizes that Kennedy is on her feet and no longer pinning Roxie, he drops back to ringside. JH: This is getting ridiculous. No matter what Kennedy does, she can’t compete with all of the Zaibatsu at once. The Zaibatsu seem to meet for a little pow-wow on how to get Roxie back into this contest. Daisuke appears to be delegating responsibilities to both Mr. Blond and Shaun Wilson, all four oblivious to the fact that Kennedy has had enough. She sprints across the ring and DRIVES THROUGH THE ROPES, TAKING OUT ALL THREE MEMBERS OF THE ZAIBATSU! JH: OH MY GOD! CL: A suicide dive on the Zaibatsu from Kennedy! JH: All three members of the Zaibatsu taken out by Kennedy! RK jumps to the outside, rushing to keep the Zaibatsu from putting their hands on Kennedy, despite the fact she’s the one who dove onto them. Kennedy backs away from the trio, rolling back into the ring as RK confronts Daisuke, pointing at all three members before frantically pointing to the back. Daisuke throws a fit at what we can only assume is his trio being ejected from ringside. CM: What?! RK can’t do this! JH: He most certainly can! Ejecting the Zaibatsu not a moment too soon. CL: It looks like he’s threatening to disqualify Roxie if they don’t leave. CM: Kennedy should be the one disqualified! Going crazy on everyone out here! You guys better be careful. The Zaibatsu do start to leave but not without a lengthy argument with RK. Meanwhile, Kennedy turns her attention back to Roxie. She pulls the blonde up to her feet and-- GETS A FACEFUL OF PINK MIST TO THE FACE! As Kennedy stumbles backwards, blinded by the mist, Roxie runs through and rolls Kennedy up with a school boy… JUST AS RK RETURNS HIS ATTENTION TO THE MATCH! CL: Mist to the face! JH: Roxie has the cover! [align=center]ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! DING-DING-DING-DING!!!!![/align] CL: No way! JH: You have GOT to be KIDDING ME! CM: She did it! Roxie beat Kennedy! MA: Here is your winner, advancing into the finals of the Grand Prix…. RRRROOOOOXXXXIIIIEEEE!!!!! “Dare” reprises over the speakers as Roxie immediately rolls from the ring where the Zaibatsu have rushed back to ringside to greet her in celebration. RK checks on Kennedy, who works feverishly on wiping the mist from her eyes. Once she succeeds, the Premier Hellcat glares out at the foursome living up Roxie’s advancement in the Grand Prix tournament. JH: Kennedy has been screwed out of the Grand Prix tournament but the Tanaka Zaibatsu. Daisuke, Mr. Blond, Shaun Wilson AND Roxie Galanoochie. This was all a set up to make sure that Roxie made it to the finals. CL: Makes you wonder what they have planned for Jaime’s semi-final match, doesn’t it? JH: She better bring Ninja and any other back-up she can find. CM: Like Adam Wilson? JH: Let’s not even get into whatever is going on there! |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:02 PM Post #8 |
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Unregistered
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MA: “Our following match is scheduled for one fall and is a semi-final match in FIW’s 2007 Grand Prix tournament.” The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song. Man: “Ladies and gentlemen please…Would you bring your attention to me?” As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song. Man: “For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.” At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance. Man: “Like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Watch closely as I open this door. Your jaws will be on the floor. After this you’ll be begging for more.” The man then pulls both doors open and the lights behind the glass dim down as two large spot lights focus in on the entrance and he quickly exits the stage as Ethan Adams clad in his entrance robe is revealed. The superstar steps out onto the concrete stage holding his arms out to his side as the song kicks in. [align=center] Welcome to the show Please come inside Ladies and gentlemen[/align] Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps as he tears his robe off and throws it into the crowd with a thunderous approval from the crowd. One lucky fan sitting isle side grabs the robe as Ethan makes his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring. [align=center]Boom Do you want it? Boom Do you need it? Boom Let me hear it Ladies and gentlemen[/align] As Ethan approaches the ring several flash bulbs light up his muscular body as ringside fans snap photos. He then turns to the edge of the ring and leaps up onto the ring apron catching himself with the top ropes. MA: “Now entering the ring from Beverly Hills, California and weighs in at 211 pounds…..’The First Wonder of the World’ Ethan Adams!!!” [align=center]Boom Do you want it? Boom Do you need it?[/align] Adams then sling shots himself over the ropes flipping over and landing on his feet inside the ring as the crowd applauds him and his music dies down and he moves into his corner and stretches while awaiting the match to begin. MA: “Currently in the ring from Beverly Hills, California and he weighs in at 211 pounds….He is The First Wonder of the World…The High Spot Sensation….ETHHHHHHAAAANNNNNN AAAAADDDDDAAAAMMMMSSSSAAAHHHH!!!!” Ethan moves to the center of the ring raising his hands and sporting a cocky grin to the crowd to a mixed response. JH: “Many are predicting Ethan Adams to go all the way in this tournament. But I have to say that Prime will be one tough obstacle he’ll have to overcome!” CL: “Prime still suffering from that heinous attack at the hands of Crackerjack last week. However I don’t think that will play too much of a factor in this match.” CM: “Are you trying to say that Ethan Adams is a lesser opponent and injured or not Prime can take him?” CL: “That’s not what I’m saying at all. Ethan Adams is a very talented individual and I see a bright future in store for him.” MA: “His opponent, comes to us this evening from San Diego, California…..” The arena plunges into darkness as "O Fortuna" gongs in and rings out all around the arena. All attention, cinema graphically speaking, is drawn to the ReVoltrons which both present a video that puts Prime in a masterpiece light. In this video package he poses in and out of shadows, flexing in flickers of white light and then the choir culminates into the final chord… [align=center]YEAAAA![/align] Saliva's "I Walk Alone" rocks the PA as the afore mentioned darkness now gives way to a spectacular and celestial light show. The ReVoltrons now light up with Primes symbol bouncing and vibrating in and out of focus beneath a sheer static overtone. Prime walks out onto the stage with his head hung... MA: “He weighs in at a massive 310 pounds and is the current number one contender to the Dual Crown championship…..PPPPRRRRRIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” [align=center]I WALK ALOOOONE![/align] Standing before the capacity crowd, Prime reels back and pops off a shouting Triple H pose into the Randy Orton “Legend Killer” pose but modified into more of a flex and grin. A machine gun pyro effect fires all around Prime through the chain link fencing as he holds his pose. The pyro smoke intentionally consumes his body and he soon burst through the smoke all pumped up, shouting, and ready to go. He makes his way confidently to the ring, eyeing his opponent the whole time. With ease, he leaps up onto the apron and all four posts and four matching ceiling sets burst in a sparkling white flare. Prime ducks between the ropes and heads right to the turnbuckle. Once he stands on the middle rope, Prime throws out his "Prime pose" once again and then leaps backward off the turnbuckle and bounces to warm up before his match. JH: “Despite the attack last week at the hands of Crackerjack, Prime looks just as determined as ever.” CL: “Even though he is already the number one contender. Winning this tournament definitely cannot hurt his career.” Fuzz checks both men in their respective corners for illegal objects and then calls them to the middle of the ring to explain the rules of the contest. He then questions the men of their understanding to these rules in which he receives a nod of approval. Ethan and Prime step chest to chest and words are exchanged but what they say remains a mystery as the official sends them back to their corners before calling for the bell. [align=center]DING DING[/align] JH: “This semi-final match now underway as the competitors begin to size each other up as they circle the ring.” Just as Hitchen just described both Ethan and Prime circle the ring and contemplate their first course of action in this match up. It is Ethan who moves first bouncing back into the ropes and then lunging off at Prime who holds his ground and pulls out a stiff arm for Ethan to run into. The High Spot Sensation quickly ducks down under the arm and then bounces off the opposing ropes returning to Prime’s turned back with a running drop kick. Prime staggers forward as Ethan regains his vertical stance and moves back toward his much larger opponent. A quick yet stiff low kick finds its place on the outer thigh of Prime that causes him to wince in pain. Ethan does not relent as he trades off feet finding the exact mark on each leg causing Prime’s legs to weaken. The Japanese crowd get into the kicks from Adams and let out a “oooohh” with each kick that is until Prime has had enough and backs off and then lunges forward shoving Ethan off his feet and onto his keister. CL: “Smart move by Ethan attempting to take the monsters legs from him but it may have been a bit too early in the match up.” JH: “Ethan back to his feet and….oh watch out!” Just as Ethan manages back to his feet Prime bolts in nailing him with a huge clothesline that sends him tumbling over the ropes backwards toward the floor. Prime turns away from the ropes rubbing his neck as Fuzz keeps an eye on Ethan who has hung onto the top rope for dear life. CM: “Skinning the cat.” Ethan utilizes his upper body strength and pulls himself back over the top rope and to his feet back on the canvas inside the ring. Prime catches a glimpse of the smaller superstar pulling himself back into the ring and moves back for him. Before anymore damage can be done Ethan charges the ropes and bounds off the middle rope and leaps at his opponent with a roaring elbow connecting with the side of his head. Prime staggers momentarily and Ethan moves back to his feet again and charges the ropes again. As he returns he moves from behind and dives downward clipping Prime’s leg. The big man drops down to the knee of the leg that was just clipped as Ethan moves for the ropes for a third time. Upon return Ethan launches himself into the air and connects with a low cross body. JH: “This can’t be good for Ethan!” CM: “OH SHIT!” As Ethan’s body sailed toward Prime’s the massively built man catches his opponent with ease and then moves up to his feet. Without even a moment to think Prime drops Ethan down over his knee with a backbreaker and then applies pressure to the back by pressing on Ethan’s chin and abdomen. Fuzz moves in to check on Ethan and even questions whether he wants to call it quits. Ethan refuses and then flails his hands at the massive arm of Prime that is pushing on his chin. Prime however does not allow Ethan to fight back and instead stands up to his feet lifting Ethan with him and continues to hold him by the throat in which he slams him backward with a loud thud to the mat. CL: “JEHOVAH! FUCK ME!” Ethan lies on the mat kicking his feet in pain and holds the back of his head in pain. Prime then moves down to his opponents level and rolls him up into a seated position where he quickly clamps his hands on either side of Adams’ head with a rear head vice and squeezes violently. The First Wonder of the World kicks his feet and screams out in agony to the added pressure to his already aching head. Prime hoists him slightly from the seated position and then drives him back down squeezing in even harder as Ethan’s face turns red and he becomes frantic for a way out of the hold. A way out is exactly what he finds as he spots the rope to his left and kicks his foot up over the bottom rope and Fuzz calls quickly for the break from Prime. The bodybuilder does as is asked from him and moves to his feet with hands in the air for the clean break. Ethan slumps over onto his side and kicks one leg slowly as Fuzz checks on him. Prime wants to waste no time as he moves back in toward the downed Ethan but is left grabbing for air as Ethan rolls quickly out of the ring and to his feet with the aid of the ring apron. Ethan then moves slowly toward the ring steps and places his hand upon it taking a moment to rest and regroup his thoughts. JH: “Smart move by Adams taking a breather on the outside of the ring.” CL: “He’s not going to have much time to rest. Prime is on his way after him!” CM: “He’s got time. Prime is moving slower than a clogged toilet tonight.” JH: “Nice analogy. Did you think it up yourself?” Before Fuzz is able to start counting Ethan out, Prime is moving to the outside after his opponent not allowing him much time to rest. The official then begins to count both men out but before Prime even has a chance to connect his feet with the ringside area, Ethan is back in the ring and sizing up his opponent on the outside. Prime turns to see what Ethan is doing but as he sees what is going on it is too late and Ethan is sliding across the mat catching him with a baseball slide to the chest. Prime staggers backward rapidly and connects awkwardly with the ring barrier across the lower back. He staggers back forward with his back arched as Ethan moves to his feet and grabs hold of the top rope. Just when Prime is in the perfect position, Adams grabs hold of the top rope pulling himself off his feet and onto the top rope. The High Spot Sensation springboards himself off the top rope launching himself higher into the air and begins the rotation for a shooting star press. JH: “STAR STRUCK!” CM: “ETHAN ADAMS JUST KILLED HIMSELF AND HIS OPPONENT!!!” CL: “Ethan Adams must be suicidal. But that was a fucking beautiful shooting star press!” The normally quiet crowd bring a low rumble over the arena and those in the front row closest to Ethan and Prime stand to their feet to see if either superstar is moving. Fuzz slides out of the ring quickly and checks on both men and when he gets acknowledgement that they can continue he slides back into the ring and begins to count them out. [align=center]1… 2… 3… 4…[/align] Ethan is the first to make any attempt to get back into the ring as he pulls himself off of Prime and moves to his knees and crawls toward the ring apron where he falls down to hands and knees. [align=center]5… 6…[/align] He pulls himself up yet again grabbing the ring skirt and pulls upward lifting himself to his feet. Prime pushes up to his hands and knees blinking his eyes groggily and begins to pull himself toward the ring. [align=center]7… 8…[/align] Before the count out can be completed Ethan pulls himself back into the ring breaking the count. He then slides back outside the ring as Fuzz begins a new count and goes right after his opponent who is still on his hands and knees. Ethan grabs Prime by the hair and pulls him up slightly and connects with a swift kick to the forehead. Another kick is planted to the back of his head followed by yet another kick to the forehead. This all leads to Ethan using all his might to hoist Prime up to his feet and rolls the big man back into the ring. Ethan then hops up on the ring apron and utilizes the ropes once more as he pulls himself over with a leg drop and connects with the chest of his opponent. He then rotates his body planting himself over Prime’s chest and hooks a leg for the pinfall. Fuzz slides into position to count the fall. [align=center]…1 …1.5 …POWER OUT!!!![/align] Ethan goes flying into the air again but this time not on his own as Prime presses him off. CL: “What a great display of power by Prime!” Ethan lands on the mat inches away and quickly moves up to his feet as Prime too moves to a vertical base. Ethan charges in toward Prime in an attempt to keep the momentum in his favor but that is not how it works out at all as Prime plants a hand in Ethan’s crotch and the other in his throat and lifts him high above his head with the High Spot Sensation shaking his head not wanting what he knows is coming. Prime presses Ethan easily over his head to the crowds delight and then drops the former Fighting Spirit Champion to the mat behind him. JH: “PRIME PRESS!” CM: “The match has shifted yet again with Prime hitting one of his signature moves on Ethan.” Ethan hits the canvas gut first and crumples into the fetal position holding his stomach. He then rolls over into a seated position and continues to attempt to catch his breath. Prime moves in but very groggily and you can tell that he is still suffering the effects of the attack by Crackerjack last week. He hooks his arms in under Ethan’s arms and hoists him into the air before dropping him back down with a full nelson slam and then a cover for a hopeful pin. Fuzz drops on spot and begins to slap his hand down for the count. [align=center]…1 …2 …SHOULDER UP!!![/align] As Fuzz’s hand hit the mat for the two count Ethan bolts his shoulder off the mat breaking the count and Prime picks him up by the head and brings him back to his feet. An Irish whip sends Ethan across the ring into the turnbuckle and is followed by three hundred and ten pounds of avalanching muscle. Ethan manages to dive out of the way at the last moment sending Prime chest first into the turnbuckle. As he staggers back out Ethan jumps into the air with an enzuguri style kick but instead of kicking Prime to the side of head, he kicks him square in the throat causing Prime to stagger about gasping for air and then drops down to one knee. Ethan then sprints to the ropes and climbs through them standing on the ring apron. Now that he has the massive man at a manageable level he grabs hold of the ropes and bounds off toward his opponent. As he approaches he wraps his arm around the neck of Prime and drops him to the mat with a huge DDT. JH: “RATINGSSSSSS SPIIIIIKKKKEEEE!!!!” CL: “If he keeps the momentum rolling he can do this.” CM: “Kick him in the throat again!” Ethan now moves in quickly attempting to wrap his arms around the waist of Prime but has troubles while doing so. JH: “He’s going for the Ego Stroke this could be it!” CL: “He can’t get Prime’s large frame into position for the hold. He’s going to have to go to plan ‘B’.” Ethan continues to attempt his to this point successful submission finisher but fails and gives Prime the time to muscle his way back to his feet. Ethan meets him as he moves back up though we are all sure he wishes he hadn’t as Prime plows forward like a runaway truck and nails him with a clothesline from hell. As Ethan nearly folds in half Prime kisses his bicep and gives a coy smile to the crowd. JH: “Kiss This!” CM: “Scott Stiener packs a nasty clothesline.” JH: “Ummmm…” CM: “Yes I’m aware I said Scott Stiener instead of Prime.” As Ethan lies on his back blinking his eyes at the ceiling of the arena Prime reaches down grabbing him by the throat with both hands and pulls him up to his feet. Out of desperation Ethan jabs out with a thrust to the throat and again Prime is left staggering and gasping for air. Adams uses this opportunity to shake the cob webs clear and kicks Prime in the kidney. Prime seems unaffected and charges back forward grabbing Ethan firmly around the neck with both hands and hoists him up into the air eyes bugging out. JH: “Is he? Could he be?” CL: “This very well could be the Authority Bomb and if it is this match will be over!” A stray leg from Ethan finds its mark on the bridge of Prime’s nose and causes him to hesitate for a moment. This giving Ethan the chance to wriggle himself free and wrap a leg over his opponents shoulder and roll through cinching in a triangle choke and drops to the mat. Already ailing from throat issues Prime holds out momentarily and then begins to tap as Fuzz checks in with him. [align=center]TAP TAP TAP[/align] CL: “And just like that Ethan Adams has done it. Prime could not suffer anymore trauma to his throat.” CM: “Pay day is coming boys! Ethan Adams is going to win this thing.” Fuzz calls for the bell and Ethan releases the submission hold. Michael Anderson then declares him the victor as Fuzz holds his arm up in victory. MA: “Here is your winner by submission……ETTTTHHHHHAAAANNNNN AAAADDDAAAAAMMMMSSSS!!!” JH: “Yet another impressive victory by FIW’s High Spot Sensation. This youngsters star is shining brightly and does not look to be burning out anytime soon!” Ethan perches himself up on the turnbuckles as the Japanese fans applaud him respectfully from their seats. He then jumps down and climbs out of the ring slapping the hands of a few fans. Just then we see figures approaching the ring. JH: “What is this? What are the Rejects doing here?” CM: “What do you think they are doing here?” JH: “Well you notice which one is not here….Crackerjack!” Ethan is confused at the arrival of the Rejects but keeps a watchful eye as to what is going on. Especially since the Dual Crown champion, Kiyoshi Nakahata is present. Onikage remains on the outside as Kiyoshi and Hardcore Sex slide into the ring surrounding Prime who is slowly getting to his feet. Just as Prime gets to his feet he sees Kiyoshi standing in front of him and the champion blasts out with a hard slap across his face and the crowd gasp. CL: “Wow! What a slap! Sure as fuck sending a message to his contender.” Prime even though battered from his battle with Ethan angrily charges forward only to be slowed down by both members of Hardcore Sex who hold him back as Kiyoshi escapes safely from the ring and catches up with the ring general, Onikage. The two begin to head to the back as Hardcore Sex release the angered muscle man and then slide out of the ring joining up with the other members of the faction as Prime glares on specifically at Nakahata and Onikage. Though as the Reject members are back pedaling Ethan steps in their path even more so Kiyoshi’s until the Dual Crown Champion bumps into him and turns around. As soon as they lock eyes Ethan gives the champ a hearty shove. Ethan then begins to yell loud enough so that all within ear shot can hear. Ethan: ”YOU*points to Kiyoshi*NEED TO WORRY LESS ABOUT HIM *points to Prime*AND MORE ABOUT ETHAN ADAMS! I’M GOING TO WIN THIS TOURNAMENT AND THEN I’M COMING FOR YOUR BELT! . *points to belt fastened around Kiyoshi’s waist*” Onikage minimalizing the situation steps in shrugging off Ethan and beckons for the Rejects to move backstage and ignore the rookie. Kiyoshi looks to the ring giving Prime a cold look and then shoots the same look to Ethan as he makes his way toward the backstage curtain keeping his eyes toward the ring and Ethan. All three men stare down as the Rejects retreat backstage. |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:04 PM Post #9 |
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[align=center]Short Results of Shaun Wilson versus Steve Patterson Winner: Steve Patterson via submission[/align] |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:07 PM Post #10 |
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MA: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall to a Fifteen Minute Time Limit; the Fifth Semi Final in the Two Thousand and Seven FIW Grand Prix!!! Suddenly the lights cut out entirely, plunging the arena into darkness, and it doesn’t take long for a few very dark blue lights to start shining, drenching the fans and the ring in blue. Fog starts pouring out near the entrance way, shrouding it in mist, before long the entire arena is nearly engulfed in it. The dark blue lights flash green and red, and purple and then back to blue as a bongo drums pound over the speakers. [align=center]The champ is here The champ is here The champ is here The champ is here The Evil Genius The champ is here Aha The champ is here Yeah D-Block Mother Fuckers The champ is here Kiss what ma niggas The champ is here[/align] MA: Introducing First, from Detroit, Michigan; weighing in tonight at Two Hundred pounds… He is Your FIW Fighting Spirit Champion; EXTREEEEEEEEME NIIIIINJAAAAAAA NUUUUMBAAAAHHHH TWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ”The Champ is Here” starts playing as the curtain is whipped back. Extreme Ninja #2 walks out from behind the curtain, he is wearing his standard in-ring and entrance gear. Ninja looks around as the fans cheer him on before he lifts up his sign dramatically and it reads “Got some bling baby!” Then proceeds to undo his robe to reveal the FIW Fighting Spirit Championship is resting around his waist. [align=center]Fuckin wit the champion You already know J-A-D-A Kiss the game goodbye You fuckin wit the champion You already know Niggas know the champ is in here He took it from crack to rap, now he put out two anthems a year And I just wanna rock for a century And then chase the book wit the documentary If you cant do nothing other than flow Life's a bitch like the mother from blow, lets go Don't make me put your heart on your lap Fuck ridin’ a beat nigga, I parallel park on a track Hop out looking crispy, fresh and new In a six but it's a BM and its Pepsi blue And I don't know you But I know a man becomes a man from all the shit that he go through Y'all ain't fuckin wit Jason After I cash in there's really no justification Of how I'm gone change tha game So don't get outta line cause this little nine will change your frame Mother fucka, aha The champ is here The champ is here The champ is here The champ is here[/align] Ninja hurries down and slides into the ring and he wastes no time to march over to the corner. He hops up onto it and lifts his balled up hands up in the air. Majority of the fans cheer for him, including the group of fans in the front row dressed up like him hold up their signs, which read “Ninja & Jaime? Match of the Year!” “Once again the champ!”, and “Death to the False Ninja!!!” This last one draws a little head scratching. JH: Isn’t that the Ninja Appreciation Society’s spot down there? CM: Maybe they only appreciate real ninja. CL: Like? Like, for example, the ‘fan’ that has attacked EN with his “Death to the False Ninja!” sign and is now proceeding to bounce the love struck Nidaime’s head off the guardrail. Fortunately for us, Mr. Blond – quiff now repaired after the Vertical Limits Match - is on hand with a microphone to clear matters up… Well, insofar as much as someone with an accent as thick as he has can clear anything up. Mr. Blond: An’ His ‘ponent, from Nah-Go-Ya, Ah-Chee; Weighin’ t’naht a’ Nahn’ee Fahve Kilograms… Ta-Naka DAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-SKAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! No fanfare, no pyro, not even a hint of a theme song; just Daisuke ‘The Crow’ Tanaka dressed up as an Extreme Ninja #2 fanboy, and when the real Extreme Ninja #2 has been thrown into the ring, he quickly sheds that garb leaving him in his hakama but without any facial protection. [align=center]Ba-Ding!!![/align] At the sound of the bell, Daisuke hops up onto the apron and slithers over to his corner to tell something to the rest of the Zaibatsu. Mr. Blond, having already lost to EN tonight seems to be protesting for a moment, but eventually relents. However, the villains seem to have forgotten one important thing about their opponent: he wears a plastic mask. Not as dazed as he was appearing, he pads quietly over and dropkicks The Crow off the apron to the outside. Furious, Daisuke brushes off any help, stands up on his own, and stalks the outside. “Not going down that easily!” is the writing on the whiteboard. JH: And it seems that the first round of this Ninja Duel has gone to the Extreme Ninja. CL: As opposed to…? CM: Well duh; the Super Ninja? CL: This isn’t that Space Tornado thing all over again, is it? CM: What? Where? I miss it again? No Space Tornado at all, actually, just Daisuke sliding just inside the ring-post in the corner to break up the count out, winding up on the other side, so he can carry on his all-important glaring as he goes round the ring. As Referee Michaela Menendez’s count reaches five, Daisuke mouths something to EN concerning Jaime. With the mask covering his face, it’s impossible to know if the Technico Ninja blanches at the mention of the lady, but he certainly does charge out to meet the Rudo Ninja, sliding under the ropes to kick the smarmy native in the face. One step ahead of this Daisuke leaps over the bottom rope into the ring, leaving the roles reversed. CM: Struck a nerve there? CL: Eh, Enough of the Psychological Bullshit, When’s the fighting going to start? Now, if the Fighting Spirit Champion has anything to say about proceedings. Leaping onto the apron, and rolling over the top rope, he sprints at his tormentor and aims a Yakuza [heh,] Kick at his smiling face. A smiling face, which is now shooting in towards the leg, that remained on the floor. Daisuke never seems to make contact with that grounded leg, which makes it all the stranger when he pops right back up well within range of EN’s kicking leg. CM: NINJA DOWN!!! JH: How the bloody hell did that happen? He didn’t even touch him!!! [align=center]One! Two!! Three?!?!? NO!!![/align] Daisuke bridges out of the Jack-knife cradle as EN kicks out, and rolls a few of his needles around his fingers as he does so. Ninja tries to kip up, but his left leg is still seized up by the impromptu acupuncture. Brushing the needles away, he makes it on the second try, only to get a kick to his spine for his trouble. Ninja still wants to continue, but the referee does not, having reckoned that something might have been amiss there. Hidden object check time for Daisuke. JH: Oh come on Referee! He’s obviously got something up his sleeve! Uh… Glove! There is nothing that Ref. Menendez can find, as she struggles to restrain EN from the fight. “I told you so, fool.” snaps The Crow, staring straight at EN. As soon as the referee steps back EN steps in to miss Dai-chan with two slaps and a kick. Needles re-drawn, Daisuke’s grin even remains on one knee. He folds his arms across his chest and lets fly at the approaching Ninja. [align=center]Bam![/align] JH: Ha! Two can play that game! CM: Where’d he go? Where’d he go? Where’d he go? The needles miss and clatter onto the ring mats, leaving Daisuke with no clue where in the cloud of smoke EN has gone. Cautiously looking around does him no good, Ninja’s arms appear round his waist and drag him all the back with a German Suplex, complete with bridge. [align=center]One! Two!! Three?!?!? NO!!![/align] An early near-fall each for the two would be ninja, and it looks like the more Extreme of them has got the better of the exchange. After all, he was the one not dropped on his head in the last few seconds. Still, Daisuke isn’t out of the match yet, rolling away and shaking his head. Not that it helps him any; Ninja’s right on his case to drop him once more with a Backdrop! CM: ARGH!!! The Move that Ruined The Quiff!!! CL: No, Martin, three of them ruined that jackass quiff. JH: Well there’s the second… CL: And oh, look: there’s the third. A primeval urge of Self Preservation allows Daisuke to wrap himself around the bottom rope before Ninja can capitalise on this. In fact, despite the referee’s instructions, it’s Mr. Blond who extricates the Boss from said rope, taking him outside to recover for a moment. EN is not happy about this in the slightest, but Michaela holds him off, barely, while she counts the leader of the Tanaka Zaibatsu out. He sneaks away from the ref, and picks out something from under the ring in his corner, and tries once more to escape to break up the count… JH: What the bloody hell is that? CM: Pretty big, whatever it is… CL: Looks like a life-size wooden Ninja. It’s even wearing the mask… And Michaela Menendez doesn’t seem to realise she’s restraining a dummy, as the count reaches 8. With a hail of shuriken from one hand [most of which are blocked by Mr. Blond’s jacket, tearing it and hurting the owner;] Ninja throws up the sign – reading “Love Can Be DAAAAANGEEEERRROUUUUSSSSS!!!!” – And Springboard Shooting Star Presses out of the ring onto the entire gang of heels! [align=center]One! Two!! Three!!![/align] Quite angrily shoving the nisei-Ninja away to one corner, the referee restarts the count at the five, floored fighters. The Flycore Champion is the first to his feet, but since he’s not actually a part of this match, that’s not really relevant; and he doesn’t really make himself relevant, apart from being the gentleman and helping Roxie to her feet. The next to sit up is the now jacket-less Blondie, leaving the two Ninja [one Extreme, one not so much,] down on the floor. [align=center]Four! Five!! Six!!![/align] EN rolls onto his back and tears out some of his own shuriken from his outfit. Blondie, it seems had sacrificed his jacket to block the attack, then Ninja had landed on the shredded garment. As Daisuke hauls himself towards the ring, it becomes clear that from the cuts on his arms, he wasn’t immune to this attack either. [align=center]Seven![/align] JH: Ninja’s back his feet! Daisuke’s worming his way up the Ring Post! [align=center]Eight!![/align] CM: Ha! The Lovebird’s been tripped up on his way back in! [align=center]Nine!!![/align] CL The Other Bird’s just about safe! [align=center]TEN??? NO!!! THE EXTREME NINJA MAKES IT!!![/align] And somewhere, Jaime Lee surely breathes a sigh of relief. The match goes on, with EN sending a parting gift of another handful of throwing stars to the Tanaka Zaibatsu, before going back to work; This, of course, being the Christmas edition of ReVolt. Ninja grabs Daisuke by the ponytail and sends him off the ropes, and with an ear-splitting scream dropkicks out his knees on the rebound, leaving him in perfect position for a certain move… JH: I! STEP! ON YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU- CL What the fuck is that noise??? CM: Sounds like Daisuke. Looks like Ninja running over his kn- Eh? CL Who the fuck turned out the lights? JH: The Emergency Lights are on… And not a moment too soon, we might have missed… GOOD SWEET CHRIST!!! Ninja just… just… CL CAVED DAISUKE’S FUCKING HEAD IN!!! FULLY FUCKING SICK!!! The lights go out again just as Ninja’s foot drives through Daisuke’s skull, although by now there is no scream. At least, not from the ring… [align=center]KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKU…[/align] JH: Oh no… Ninja… BEHIND YOU!!! EN heeds the warning just in time to see a knee flip right over and land on his face. The one who lands on top of him has a cowl covering his face, and a black robe covering his body, although leaving room for the arms to move freely. One of his arms reaches down to the second of the two lifeless bodies at his feet, and gathers up a few shards of porcelain, crushing into dust… CM: Phew… It was just another one of those dolls… So who’s this guy, then? CL Triple Mist Gland; mysterious appearance, no sign of Tanaka anywhere… Nah… Couldn’t be… That’d just be ridiculous… CM: What would be? CL Super Ninja DAISUKE…? As the commentators try to work out exactly who is standing in the ring, he does a few hand-seals with the dust still in his hands and blows it at Michaela Menendez, seemingly hypnotising her, leaving her oblivious to the fact he’s drawing even more needles out from his cloak. Fortunately for the Extreme Ninja, he has himself almost up to his feet by now, enough to stumble forward and leap at SND with as much of a Tornado DDT as he can manage. It isn’t much of one, and although Super Ninja DAISUKE [note the caps on his first name] blocks it – dropping the needles as he does so – and reverses it with Northern Lights Suplex, barking out the word “Count!” to the ref! [align=center]One! Two!! NO!!![/align] Despite the abnormally fast count, E-Ninja [as opposed to S-Ninja] manages to get his shoulder up and escapes the predicament. As the S-Ninja takes his time bridging up to his feet, which looks pretty cool, but doesn’t really serve any real purpose; E-Ninja rushes the zombified referee and has some hand-seals of his own, tapping her on the forehead to break the spell. He doesn’t get the chance the explain what just happened, as DAISUKE’s Left (!) Knee thunders into his ribcage, and JH: Ninja’s Not Out Of It Yet! CM: Which Ninja? The Extreme Ninja lands on his feet out of the German Suplex, and fires off a few Machine-Gun style Middle Kicks. Under the rain of Boot, DAISUKE struggles, but still manages, to stand, and eventually catches a leg, trips out the other one and gets a Knee Cross Hold slapped on. EN reaches out for anything: ropes, the referee, needles; anything. What was that last one again? Needles. EN’s acupuncture training seems to have been neglected in recent times, so the exact points that would freeze up the man trying to break his leg are unknown to him. However, the time for subtlety is long gone. One good stab is all he needs. The S-Ninja releases the hold, and the E-Ninja has the swift counter of a Jack-knife/Jaime (?) Clutch [align=center]One! Two!! Three?!?!? NO!!![/align] Mimicking his opponent as if he had that particular materia equipped; it’s Nidaime’s turn to stand up out of the bridge, in just enough to time to scribble “Not Dead Yet!!!” on his sign. That appeal to the crowd may not have been the best idea for him. SND palm strikes him in the back of the head, and sends him off the ropes, doing a spin to set up the Lightning High Kick. EN once more throws smoke, as the kick comes in… CM: SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!!! NINJA’S HEAD IS PUNTED TO THE THIRD ROW!!! CL That’s not Ninja’s head! At least, not his real head… As the body of the Extreme Ninja Dummy slumps out of the cloud, Constance is proved right, leaving SND to glance around for his quarry. It’s now his turn to spin around just in time to see an attack; this one comes flying off the furthest corner, and just clips his knee out, leaving him in position for… JH: I! ST- CM: MIST!!! JH: P-OOOOONNNNA YOOOOOUUUUUU!!! … Wait a second… NOOOOOOO!!! Kicking one of EN’s knees away, the S-Ninja has him set up for a shining style move of his own. This one isn’t the Wizard, the Triangle or even the much-vaunted Shining Ninja Kick, although it is similar… CM: What the hell is that?!?!? JH: I uh… I believe it’s some… Uh… Omoplata is that one? CL Not quite, but similar, yeah. That one’s right out of the archives; I’ve just been given a note saying that it’s the original Daisuke Special! JH: Oh My… He’s going to break Ninja’s arm with it… [align=center]DINGDINGDING!!![/align] MA: Here is your winner, the Fifth Finalist of the Two Thousand and Seven FIW Grand Prix… TANAKA DAAAAAAIIIIIIIII-SKAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! The lights flicker out one last time, returning to find Daisuke without his Super Ninja outfit, waiting for his hand to be raised in victory, although when it does, his moment of triumph is cut short by a coughing fit… JH: He’s not looking so well after that. CL: You two never watch any anime? CM: Well… One… But it had uh… Tentacles and stuff, and I didn’t actually finish it… CL: Erm, well, The limit breaking transformation is always some kind of double-edged sword. In the end, Daisuke winces in pain as he wipe the blood from around his mouth, but just decides to roll with it; spitting a pool of red EN’s feet as he slowly stands up, favouring his arm. Spitting with rage, Hitchen fumes into the commercial break and Daisuke spits Blood Mist into the air under the stage... |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:09 PM Post #11 |
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[align=center]Short Results of Grant Rice versus Jaime Lee Winner: Jaime Lee via pin fall[/align] Camera fades from our live feed to what can only be described as the least welcome picture since Kathy Burke in that Jack Nicholson film where she got her baps out in a hot tub and they…ah well you know what I’m talking about. Anyway we come into a disturbing close up on a face that has been sorely missed by our television screens. Lord General Kumar looks into our eyes with what appears to be an attempt at puppy dog eyes, but more gives across the uncomfortable feeling of indigestion. There is the undeniable feeling that he is attempting to be serious, but you can’t help pity the fact he’s just not suited to such a lifestyle, and him in such a state is almost painful to witness. He begins to speak, his strong English tones coming as a pleasant relief amongst all of the annoying Americans twangs that have be screeching through the TV sets. General: Hello viewers. Although I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, I’m afraid that there is something drastically missing this year. It is not, as you may think, some selfish present. I’m afraid to announce that as of Wednesday 19th of December, Sir Colbert Tottington has been missing. His scheduled holiday ended as of Wednesday but he did not return on his scheduled flight. After he did not contact anyone by Friday, we have began to look into things. We have discovered that even though he told me and others that he would be staying in a certain hotel in Rome, he never checked in. It is now a mystery where he went after getting onto the plane two weeks ago. This is why I am coming onto TV now. This is an appeal. If anyone out there has seen, or know anyone that has seen Colbert Tottington in the last two weeks, please contact FIW immediately, and Colbert, if you’re watching this, please call me right now. We’re worried. Thank you, good night. Camera fades out from that depressing message. What the fuck was that… |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:27 PM Post #12 |
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JH: Lord! We’ve had a more action jam packed ReVolt than usual and it’s all been leading up to this! CL: Can’t say I can complain, both Daisuke and Tier are in the same match so it’s orgasm time for Constance. CM: And, I’m actually happy about the match too with Ethan Adams in there and two sexy babes like Jaime Lee and Roxie Galanoochie! JH: I think this is one of the first times all of us have actually been satisfied with who is in the match as while I’m not a Zaibatsu or Reject or even Tier fan, Ethan and Jaime are in it. CL: Yeah but you’re a British whore and thus your opinion is void. CM: Ha, ha, British whore…it’s funny because he’s really British. JH: Any ways, one of these six competitors will join a highly elite club after tonight. CL: And, will have a FIW Dual Crown title shot in their back pocket for save keeping till they want to use it some time between now and December two thousand and eight. CM: They don’t get a fancy briefcase to carry it around in though they do get a custom championship! MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following match is the scheduled main event of this edition of a Very ReVolt’ing Christmas and it is under elimination rules! It has been granted a one hour time limit and your official for this bout is senior referee, Tony Clarke! And…it is the finals of the Full Intensity Wrestling Grand Prix Two Thousand and Seven Tournament~! The lights in the arena suddenly give out as wear a beautiful piano piece begin to play on the PA system. Red lights begin to flash rhythmically aligned with the beat. As the piano music rises, other instruments join in until there is an eruption of chugging guitars and hard-hitting drums. Pyro explodes on either side of the entryway as Steve “The Emo Kid” Patterson walks out from behind the curtain, giving a disgruntled and disgusted look toward the fans. [align=center]There's someone down below blowing you a kiss They watch from their windows As all arms fall to their sides And all eyes fix on the death of tomorrow And you found everything you need To make a life complete Completely revolting And they have safety and relief for sale up the street I see you in line everyday…[/align] Steve starts to walk with purpose toward the ring, his eyes straight forward, not once acknowledging any of the fans trying to communicate with him. His facial expression tightens as he draws nearer, his aura of misery seemingly growing stronger the closer he gets to the ring. [align=center]You had time to waste But I'm not sorry Such a basket case Hide the cutlery I had time to kill It's dead and buried You've got guts to spill But no one's trustworthy[/align] Sprinting the last few feet to the ring, Steve slides in under the bottom rope, leaps to his feet and begins to bounce off the ropes, going from side to side. He throws back his head to get the hair out of his eyes and rolls his neck as he continues to psych himself up for the match. Eventually he retires to his corner, the dogged expression remaining chiseled on his features. CL: Oh look, no other Rejects for once. MA: Introducing first from Omaha, Nebraska, he weighs in at two hundred pounds and stands at six feet and one inch…HE! IS! SSSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEVE PAAAAAAATTERRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSOOOON~!!! CM: Yeah, that’s odd, where one of these freaks is there is usually at least one other. JH: Could be that Steve wanted to go it alone due to how big this match could be for his young career. [align=center]It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's DARE It's DARE[/align] This quick introduction can only mean one things as Roxie Galanoochie takes to the stage. Forgoing the pleasantries of a dance, Roxie walks down the stairs and starts off towards the ring. Blue and white strobes enshrine her as she ignores all calls from the fans whether they be the verbal cat call or the extended hand for a hand slap. Such an unpleasant actions seems funny to her as she smiles. [align=center] that's what you do it baby Hold it down there Jump with them all and move it Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself work it out [/align] MA: From New York, New York, weighing in at one hundred and twenty three pounds…ROXIEEEEEEEEEE…GAAAAAALAAAANOOOOCHIEEEEEEEEEEeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Roxie reaches up grabbing hold of the middle rope and places her left knee up on the apron before pushing up on the right foot to get the other knee up there as well. Up on the apron, Roxie releases the middle rope and slides her head under it as her right knee joins in as well. Roxie remains straddling the bottom rope to take the moment to laugh out at the fans wanting to see her fall once again. Roxie lifts in her left leg and crawls around for a few seconds along the ropes before using the corner turnbuckle to pull herself up first to her knees. Roxie takes another moment to look through the crowd a smile etched on her face until she suddenly spins around, kicks out her legs, and takes a seated position in the corner. [align=center] It's coming up It's coming up It's DARE Never did no harm Never did no harm[/align] Roxie remains seated for a moment bobbing her head along with the beat until finally pulling herself up to her feet using the top rope. It’s a slow movement that gives a mighty fine arch in her favour. So mighty in fact that when she releases the rope and rears forward the momentum buildup is enough to get in a decent cartwheel that Roxie ends by shooting both arms in the air, fists clenched, letting out a refreshing smile of self approving accomplishment. It’s then that the music fades out and lights resume to normal velocity. CM: Hey! Look! Daisuke just cart wheeled out from behind Roxie! MA: And introducing the man that just appeared behind Roxie Galanoochie…He hails from Nagoya, Japan and weighs in at two hundred and five pounds and stands at five feet and nine inches…HE! IS! THE CRRRRRROOOOOOOW~! DAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSUKE TAAAAAAANNNNAAAAAKA~!!! JH: A man normally known as the Crow here, we saw him take on another form earlier in the night to seal his fate for the finals. Though this SUPER Ninja persona he took on doesn’t seem to be without some backlash on his body. CL: Hopefully it doesn’t play a fucking factor, Daisuke could take it all if one other man doesn’t… The lights drop suddenly and all we have are spotlights and strobes out over the audience along with the flashes of cameras. The beat starts in and the lights begin to flash on and off in time with it, illuminating a figure moving through thick fog, cloaked heavily in a hooded coat and gas mask. He strolls darkly down the aisle, not looking at the fans or his opponent; only on his destination. MA: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 236 lbs... he hails from Mission, Texas.... THIS! ... IS! ... TIIIIIIEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!! Tier climbs the steps and walks along the apron. He casts a dramatic backward glance at the audience before entering the ring. Tier removes his coat and hands it to the referee, letting his scarred body glitter in the flashing light as Angelspit's remix of KMFDM's Tohuvabohu dies down. JH: A man that has taken on many appearances and many personalities, this most recent one doesn’t seem like one I’d be fond of either. CL: Fuck you, no one can ruin this high I’m feeling, Tier is back! CM: And, as much as I hate the freak, defeated two fairly notable rookies to make it to the finals. The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song. Man: “Ladies and gentlemen please…Would you bring your attention to me?” As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song. Man: “For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.” At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance. Man: “Like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Watch closely as I open this door. Your jaws will be on the floor. After this you’ll be begging for more.” The man then pulls both doors open and the lights behind the glass dim down as two large spot lights focus in on the entrance and he quickly exits the stage as Ethan Adams clad in his entrance robe is revealed. The superstar steps out onto the concrete stage holding his arms out to his side as the song kicks in. [align=center] Welcome to the show Please come inside Ladies and gentlemen[/align] Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps as he tears his robe off and throws it into the crowd with a thunderous approval from the crowd. One lucky fan sitting isle side grabs the robe as Ethan makes his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring. [align=center]Boom Do you want it? Boom Do you need it? Boom Let me hear it Ladies and gentlemen[/align] As Ethan approaches the ring several flash bulbs light up his muscular body as ringside fans snap photos. He then turns to the edge of the ring and leaps up onto the ring apron catching himself with the top ropes. MA: “Now entering the ring from Beverly Hills, California and weighs in at 211 pounds…..’The First Wonder of the World’ Ethan Adams!!!” [align=center]Boom Do you want it? Boom Do you need it?[/align] Adams then sling shots himself over the ropes flipping over and landing on his feet inside the ring as the crowd applauds him and his music dies down and he moves into his corner and stretches while awaiting the match to begin. CL: Oh yeah, and there’s this guy. CM: This guy?! This guy?!? You do not speak about ETHAN ADAMS like that! JH: This young man has been racking together a series of career changing decisions after a small slump the previous month. Could the Grand Prix be the final piece of the puzzle for Ethan to go along with taking the champion to the limit in thirty minutes & winning against Kennedy? While he’s been a favorite to win, there is one other unlikely choice… The house lights fade into darkness, sending a quiet murmur throughout the arena. Heavy drum beats spark the stage lights to life, the rainbow of strobes following as the vocals of “Burn” by the Luchagors kick into the PA system. Jaime skips out onto the stage shortly after with her Hellcat Division Championship over her shoulder. She playfully flips her hair up before raising the championship with both hands above her head. She trots down the stairs, continuing to skip down towards the ring, grinning and holding the championship up proudly along the way. MA: Making her way to the ring from Ohio, she is your HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPION… JAAAAYYYMMMMEEE LLLLLEEEE!!! Jaime ducks in under the bottom rope, flinging her hair back as she raises her head with a grin from ear to ear. She pops up to her feet and steps into the nearest turnbuckle, blowing a kiss to the fans in the front row and then leaping up to the middle turnbuckle. Once again she flings her hair back as she raises her head and shoots an arm up into the air with the Hellcat Division Championship held in her grasp. Ending the photo op, she jumps back down to the canvas and skips across to the other side of the ring, once again raising the championship up into the air. Her smile fades slightly as she passes her championship off to the referee and backs into her turnbuckle, ready to get serious for the upcoming contest. CM: Mmhmmm, I love her smile… JH: It is good to see her back with that championship, even if that was by far the oddest match out of all of the quarter-finals. CL: Well look who the fuck is coming out, no one has a second in their corner except for now Jaime Lee with Extreme Ninja #2, what the hell is he doing here? Bananas in Pajamas aren’t giving out autographs here or any thing. [align=center]DING DING DING~!!![/align] Every one goes out onto the apron except for the Tanaka Zaibatsu’s main man and the main woman of the Hellcat Division which gets a small cheer from the fans. Roxie immediately wants back in and yells at Tanaka to tag her in though gets a hand brought up to hush her instead from her boss. Those dastardly eyes look over the Hellcat that stands ready before him and wander away from her and over to the man on the outside that is cheering her on. A curt yet mocking smile briefly crosses those lips that are normally in an ever-lasting scowl when Ninja’s and his eyes meet for a second. JH: Looks like Roxie is a bit flustered at being denied what she wanted and that’s another chance to get her hands on Jaime. CL: As much as I love that rich boy, Daisuke better be careful or Lee is going to sneak up on him as he plays eyes with Ninja. CM: Mmhmmm…the mental images that popped up mind after what Hitchen said…mmhmm...pudding…itty bitty dotted string bikinis… Constance’s warning becomes a reality when the Hellcat bolts across the ring and tries to spear tackle the millionaire brat right out of his boots. While not a SUPER Ninja at the moment, Daisuke must still retain some of the abilities as he side steps the maneuver to avoid it with a certain grace. Perhaps not a ninja, Jaime shows her own abilities when she catches herself from going out of the ring by gripping the top rope in mid-run and let’s her stop. Not so easy to predict is the low side kick that Tanaka almost does like a modified sweep kick and takes the champion’s legs out from underneath her. CL: And, she falls onto her ass. CM: Good thing there is so much cus- JH: Don’t even dare to try and finish that sentence Chip unless you want to have some words with the F.C.C. Hastily the Crow dives into closer range of Jaime and starts firing off quick yet stinging kicks to her back & kidneys, and neck to polite applause for his efforts. Only one not applauding him aside from the fellow competitors is the man at ringside that slams his fists onto the apron & tries to root on Lee. The Hellcat attempts to sit up only for Daisuke to hammer an extra hard kick right down her spine that gets her to arch her back & cry out in agony. As gentlemanly and stiff upper lip like as one can, Tanaka pulls Jaime by the hair and leads her into Roxie’s corner & tags out to his member of the Tanaka personal army. CM: Oh god, yes! Yes! Hellcat on Hellcat action! JH: I don’t recall when we changed the rules to this being a tag team match! CL: Shush, Daisuke can do as he fucking likes. Osaka’s fans’ support brings about a small spurt of energy from FIW’s Sweetheart as she snatches Tanaka’s scarf and uses it to pull him straight into a head butt! As he reels she dives at Galanoochie in a sloppier than normal lou thez press and takes the stripper down to the canvas with fists flying! Recovered slightly from the head butt, the Crow unleashes a low roundhouse kick that clocks Lee in the side of the head as Clarke yells at him to get out of the ring. Helping Roxie back up, the Tanaka Zaibatsu members share a few words as they stand over the champion and ignore the senior referee’s pleads to bring back order. JH: Gah! Jaime was so close! She nearly had it! CL: You don’t pull on Daisuke’s scarf. CM: I think I just fell in love with that lou thez press, god bless the Hellcats. Picking her up, the Tanaka Zaibatsu whip Jaime into the ropes and that is exactly what she does, and when she bounces back off of them she runs back at the duo. Who greet her in open arms when they lift her up into the air and drop her face first with a flapjack to a polite & mild applause from the fans. Finally Tanaka obeys the rules and rolls out onto the apron while Galanoochie jumps up and down excited about how she’s out done Lee already. To further show off, the stripper leaps into the air and flips in mid-air looking for a standing moonsault only to get the rude awakening of the champion rolling out of the way! CL: Before you even say it I’ll say the cliché’ line for you Hitchen, no water in the pool on that one! CM: No! Poor Roxie! I might have to rub her down later to get rid of those sore muscles, I might have to do that for Jaime too…and Lara Toni…and…well, no, not for T-Bird. JH: Come on Jaime! Come on! You can do it! There are a few moments of pause when Lee considers if she can rally back or if she should just tag out for now and take a break in what could be a long match. She opts to go for the tag and starts crawling as fast as she can towards one of the many people out on the apron to actual cheers from the fans. Soon her would-be rival realizes this and scrambles up to her feet & hurries after the crawling Hellcat who is nearing Ethan Adams’ corner. That’s stopped when Galanoochie jumps into the air and squashes the champion underneath her with a running senton splash to applause and hisses from the fans! CM: Now that is hot. JH: Can’t you for once ignore the Hellcats’ outer beauty to acknowledge their actual talent?! CL: …You do remember who the fuck you are talking to, right Hitchen? Merely opting to sit on her former idol, Roxie grabs a handful of those brown locks and starts slamming her head first into the canvas without any regard. Several fans cringe in sympathy when the Hellcat takes it a notch higher and drags Jaime’s pressed face against the mat to a warning from Tony. At that very moment Daisuke swings a leg over the middle rope and into the ring as if he may enter & this action gains the attention of the referee. With Clarke now out of the way, the stripper gladly continues the champion’s torture as she pushes her thumbs by the point of their nails right into the closed eye sockets of Lee! JH: Oh come on! That’s not right! CL: Such is the advantages of having a team mate in the same match as you. CM: Hmm…I’m sure I could get over the loss of her eyes enough to do on a date still with Jaime should she ask me. Sinister this method may be, it is shown for what it is to the referee when a sign is held high into the air that reads “Turn around” by the FSC at ringside. Tony ignores Tanaka’s feeble attempts to keep his attention and the scowl he shoots EN #2 to turn around & see what is going on with the Hellcats. Joy leaves Roxie’s face when she hears the start of the count from the senior referee and looks over to him, trying to plead why she should be able to continue. Depressingly for her, Clarke isn’t hearing any of it and she finally pulls her thumbs away at the count of four as Jaime rolls away and rubs her aching eyes. CL: Stupid ninja. CM: Which one? JH: He must be referring to the man that tried to purposely make the referee avoid seeing a illegal technique take part in the middle of that ring. As I can’t imagine he could be referring to the man that helped Tony Clarke enforce the rules of the match. Getting back up to her feet with blurred vision, Lee stumbles around a bit until some one slaps her on the back and draws her focus to them. Tier hops over the top rope and rather rudely snatches the young Hellcat, and sends her flying to the outside to “help” her find her way out. In what could’ve been a messy landing for the champion it and her are saved by the Second Generation Extreme Ninja that dives to catch her in his arms in the nick of time. While that might’ve been the plan, in reality she crashes bottom first onto her BFF’s head and sends him face planting into the ringside floor that comfortably cushions her fall. CM: Mmhmm…What I wouldn’t give to be that masked dork right now… JH: Chip! Behave yourself! And, besides, while I’m glad Jaime is okay I think you should be focusing on what’s happening in the ring. CL: Yeah fucker, Tier’s in there now. Fans in attendance applaud and start a small though poorly spoken “Blood! Sweat! Tier!” chant that the Deity of Violence shrugs off in an indifferent manner. Mean while his opponent looks at him in a mixture of annoyance at interrupting her and worry because of just who it is that interrupted her. She looks over her shoulder to Daisuke for guidance and her boss motions her to continue to do battle and to try to match up against the former Dual Crown Champion. With still some hesitation in her eyes, Galanoochie starts circling the ring with The Immortal Eternal Red that’s mask hides his expression over this interaction. JH: Tier has been dominant over the last few matches and shown very little ring rust but can he go all the way in this tournament? CL: I’d say so. CM: And, I hope that Roxie sends this old fossil back to the stone age where he belongs. It is the veteran that is the first to move a decisive move when he closes in on the Hellcat and fast though not fast enough, Roxie ducks and sends him over in a backdrop! Impressively Scott Draven lands on his feet on the apron and when his foe turns around to get in a forearm strike he blocks it and nails her with one of his own forearms. She staggers back a few steps and Tony checks on her, his back turned to Tier out on the apron that is getting ready to launch. That is till Daisuke scurries across it and leaps up, drilling the masked man in the side of the skull with a flying knee strike that sends him down to the ringside floor. CL: Fuck! That was both beautiful and painful to watch! CM: It was just beautiful for me. JH: The Tanaka Zaibatsu yet again playing the numbers game in this match! To his credit, the veteran falls to the ringside floor on his feet as well and just stumbles a bit as he tries to shake the cobwebs out of his head from that shot. Seeing her chance, Galanoochie shoves the referee out of the way and bolts across the ring to leap through the middle & top ropes. As she flips in mid-air for the tope con hilo the fans applaud when Tier actually ducks slightly and catches the Hellcat in his arms with relative ease! In one fluid movement he simply uses her own momentum and tosses her head first towards the apron in a sloppy powerbomb of sorts that gets more applause from the fans! CM: No! Roxie! JH: My lord! Tier might’ve just killed her! CL: While that was cool, pfft, Hitchen, don’t be a over dramatic whore. Despite being out of the ring Clarke tries to just call the two competitors back into the ring rather than opting to start the out of the ring count. Things go from bad to worse for the referee when Tier ignores his wishes and Steve Patterson enters the ring, and looks around quickly. He darts across the ring and leaps up, landing on the top rope that he asai moonsaults off of to take both Roxie Galanoochie and Tier down to applause from the fans! Clarke throws up his arms in frustration and Daisuke shakes his head disapprovingly, Ninja trying to tend to the recovering Jaime & Ethan scoffs at the maneuver. JH: Good god! Steve Patterson just took out both of the legal competitors in this match! CL: Emo piece of shit. CM: That was awesome for a freak! He dropped into sitting on them to send them all down! Train wreck effect setting in, all three are slow to get to their feet though each are getting up to them at a fairly similar amount of time to each other. It is the Reject that is first to strike when he throws a punch to the Deity of Violence that throws a palm strike back his way in repayment. Not to be left out by the boys, Roxie fires off a forearm strike and soon the three are brawling with each other at ringside, punches, and palm & forearm strikes flying. To the point where none of the trio notices Ethan Adams nearing them till he is soaring through the air and crashing down onto them with his suicide corkscrew tope! CL: Fuck sake! Prime Time! CM: ETHAN ADAMS was showing them how it is done! JH: We have bodies flinging themselves all over the place! …And, oh my god, we aren’t done yet, he’s actually going to do it… Hitchen is referring to the Crow who has entered the ring and stands in the center of it, clapping his hands together to rally the fans behind his flight. The entire arena in Osaka is soon clapping along with Tanaka who stops to charge as fast as he can right towards the ropes with determination. Ethan, Roxie, Steve and Tier notice him just as he jumps into the air and…lands on the second rope, spraying his black mist into the heavens with a pose! Some fans jeer in hisses at him for tricking them while others applaud & go as far as to laugh over the antics of their fellow country native who smirks with his stained teeth. CM: Bravo Daisuke, bravo! JH: I’ll admit, he got me. CL: That’s because Daisuke Tanaka is Jesus Christ if Tier is God, and you are just a British twat. Jumping off of the second rope and back down onto the canvas, Tanaka caws orders at Roxie who snatches Tier in the midst of the mob and throws him back into the ring. She follows in after him and they leave the other duo to find their way back over to their corners as Daisuke goes back to his own. Ethan takes the time to mock Jaime & Ninja on his way back over to his corner when he notices EN #2 trying to check to see if the Hellcat is alright, and getting brushed off by her. While Steve sulks in his corner at being upstaged by the First Wonder of the World, pulling out his cell phone & text’ing some one to vent. JH: Is Steve Patterson actually…calling some one in the middle of a match? CL: Of course not Hitchen, that would be fucking retarded, he’s text’ing some one by the looks of it. CM: Probably more than likely typing up a short angsty entry to post in his MySpace blog in reality. Back in the ring, Tier greets his foe with a head butt to the forehead that leaves her wide open for her to almost take her out of her boots with a snap suplex! Getting a handful of those blonde locks, the Deity is ready to bring the Hellcat back up to her feet when he gets a punch right to the groin from her! Luckily for Roxie her boss just happened to have tapped Tony on the shoulder to ask for the time remaining in the match when she punched Tier. With The Immortal Eternal Red hitting a high note, Galanoochie tosses him into her stable mate’s corner and tags in said stable mate to a mixed reaction from the fans. CL: Oh Zeus…Tier…Daisuke…in the same ring… CM: Eeeeew, get a room already! JH: This certainly should be a…interesting contest. Directing traffic Tanaka gets Roxie side by side with him and the two starts ushering in kicks to meet the tender flesh of the veteran they have in the corner. Clarke tries to get on their case but they ignore him and continue to throw their strikes out that chip away at the Deity who slumps further and further down. The Tanaka Zaibatsu duo yanks Tier out of there and lock in a double front chancery that is followed up when they throw their bodies backwards towards the mat. Eventually Tony gets Galanoochie to leave the ring and go out onto the apron after that double DDT as Daisuke rolls up onto his knee to flaunt the fact. CM: Look at him, like a Gree...erm…Japanese Adonis! JH: I can think of many terms for Daisuke Tanaka, Adonis is not one of them. CL: Gah, it’s so hard to decide who to root for and who to be a cynical ass about, decisions, decisions! Arrogantly flaunting the fact you’ve out smarted a veteran is good in theory though bad when you waste so much time that the aforementioned veteran gets up & is angry. So angry he snatches a handful of the luscious black locks & proceeds to unleash rapid fire kicks to the spinal chord of a certain Crow! Daisuke yelps and curses in Japanese as Tier keeps going and to cheers & applause amazingly and goes faster & faster with the kicks he’s dishing out! Rearing back his leg and holding it there, the Deity’s last kick goes off like a shotgun and sounds like one went off too when it meets the tingling flesh of Tanaka’s back! JH: Tier is not a happy camper! CL: Can you blame him? He’s being shown up by a guy that’s claim to fame is that he uses other people to carry the weight because he’s now crippled. CM: Huh? What? Where’s Nightmare? Wrapping his legs around the Crow’s neck carefully in a rear head scissors, Tier rolls through and drops down onto his knees with the Crow’s face in between them. There is some thing the Deity shouts out that FX decides to bleep out before he starts heaving his hips up and down hastily. That thing he said soon becomes clear what because it virtually looks like The Immortal Eternal Red is humping the back of Tanaka’s skull in the process of these movements. Also in the process of these movements he is smashing Daisuke face first into the canvas repeatedly without the slightest sign of any kind of mercy on his part. CL: The skull fucker? Eh, I can see it. CM: You shouldn’t say that! JH: He’s right, there is a reason why our lovely censors bleeped out Tier saying it. Now feeling a whole lot dirtier for watching it, the Osaka fans reluctantly applaud the unique maneuver when the Deity ceases his onslaught with it. Stepping right up to a knee, Tier pushes off and gets up to his feet only to jog the short distance that divides the Crow and him to leap up into the air. Like a small bomb he drops down in a flipping senton splash that pushes all the air out of Daisuke’s lungs as evident by his massive exhale upon impact. He rolls right through it and soon the veteran is back on his feet as the fans continue to applaud him for his efforts and he blows them off for the most part. CM: F’ Me Deadly! JH: There you go Chip, that’s a goo- CL: Fuck you two, it’s FUCK Me Deadly! Fuck the FCC. Galanoochie looks ready to get back involved when the still recovering Jaime Lee makes her presence felt by running around the apron to hit a front dropkick on her fellow Hellcat! While in the ring Tier races to the ropes and takes to the air with his feet out stretched in front of him and hit the top rope that bounces them right off of them & flips him! Narrowly avoiding the Arabian press attempt, Tanaka rolls up to a knee and even he looks on in shock when the Deity manages to counter his failed maneuver to land on his feet! FIW’s God of Violence charges at him only for Daisuke to slip out a needle that he stabs a puncture point with under the referee’s nose & rolls Tier up in the Daisuke Clutch edition of the small package! JH: Oh no! Daisuke might’ve just paralyzed Tier! CL: That’s both the most awesome and saddest thing I’ve ever heard in FIW. [align=center]1![/align] CM: Sadly, even if he did, it’s probably only temporary. JH: Don’t tell me Daisuke’s going to ruin Tier’s big return tonight! [align=center]2![/align] CL: Ruin? Naw. Deny him the chance to win the finals? Probably. CM: Well, if he wants to still be in this match he better hurry and kick out! [align=center]3~!!![/align] MA: Tier has been ELIMINATED~!!! |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:30 PM Post #13 |
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Unregistered
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Tony tries to help Tier out of the ring as Jaime enters the ring with a fiery look in her eyes and beckons the Crow to get to his feet in hope he’ll do just that. In a predictable moment, Daisuke does do just that and is greeted on his feet by a running forearm strike from the Hellcat Division Champion! He scrambles back up to his feet and is met with a second running forearm strike from FIW’s Sweetheart who is pumped up right now as the fans cheer & applaud. A third time he gets to his feet and this time ducks the forearm when he tucks & rolls towards his team mate’s corner for a tag…only for Steve Patterson to tag himself in! CL: Aaaand…I no longer care. CM: I do! I do! I care because Jaime’s in there! JH: Bloody heck! Jaime looked ready to take Daisuke’s head off! Ninja applauds the Hellcat’s efforts at ringside and gets the fans behind her as Patterson rushes straight at her and dives at her that result in her ducking to avoid him. He flies over her back and tumbles downward, in mid-roll grabbing a hold of her skirt to bring her over into a sunset flip attempt. Luck isn’t on his side though as Lee manages to keep her balance and stays as she stands up and looks down at the Hardcore Sex member holding her skirt. Hopping up and in doing so pulling down her skirt, FIW’s Sweetheart double stomps Steve right on the mug before wiggling her hips as she slips her skirt back up. CM: Oh god…Buddha…Jesus…Zeus…Mario…Starbucks…whoever…I think for the span of fifth teen seconds I saw heaven just now. JH: Good thing she wears those short shorts style tights underneath that skirt. CL: Short short tights? They’re fucking booty shorts, you limey git. Chip Martin isn’t the only man in attendance that enjoyed what they saw from Jaime Lee moments ago thanks to Steve Patterson’s hold on her skirt. Ethan smirking and tilting his head to get a better view & Ninja coughing and trying not to look before she pulled her skirt back up. FIW’s Sweetheart quickly hops up into the air again and delivers a leg drop for good measure onto the Emo Kid before pushing off of the canvas and getting back up to her feet. Rounding out her current assault, she brings up her arm as if to show off the muscle (or, lack there of) on it and brings it down across Steve’s chest with an elbow drop! JH: Jaime going for some old yet tested techniques! CL: Mean while that Reject is being made a bitch of. CM: Mmhmm, there needs to be a rule that either Jaime must jump at least three times or she must have her skirt pulled down at least once during all of her matches. With a little hassle due to the weight Lee pulls Steve back up to his feet and whips him back over to the ropes that he hits and bounces off of. Her lariat attempt is ducked under and Steve hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and charges out of them at full steam. FIW’s Sweetheart is ready for him but surprisingly Patterson doesn’t attack her and instead hits the first set of ropes again and bounces off of them, going faster than before! He meets the opposite side of ropes for the second time and this time is almost a blur he is going so fast and takes the Hellcat’s head off with a basement dropkick to the knees! CL: That was…fucking odd. CM: Steve Patterson, the one of the fastest or THE fastest wrestler ever? JH: I certainly have to say he is one of the fastest after seeing that, Colbert. As if to mimic his opponent, Patterson zips over to the ropes and jumps onto the second rope and springboards off of it into a double stomp right to Jaime’s face! Which is followed up by the Emo Kid leaning back to prepare his body for the flip he performs into a standing leg drop to the Hellcat! Kipping up to his feet to a mild applause and hiss like jeers from the fans, Steve stands over Lee and swings his arms to & fro several times to wind up. Once he’s got enough momentum built up, the Reject goes for the power drive elbow drop only for the fellow champion to roll out of the way & avoid it! CM: Looked like Steve was doing a more exciting version of Jaime’s combo! JH: I’d say a more modern version as I’d argue which is more exciting. CL: Well, if you are a mark for contrived and high spots the answer is clear. Obviously favoring his elbow while he tries to get back up to his feet, it is easy to see why the Hellcat gives a forearm strike right to the tender area of Steve. In the blink of an eye Jaime applies an arm wringer and uses it to pull her body up and wrap her legs around the Emo Kid’s neck. Valiantly Patterson tries to avoid it and even reverse it though in the end Jaime gets the hurricanrana she was looking for to cheers & applause from Osaka! Rolling through the maneuver and onto her knees, the Hellcat Division Champion gets up and pumps her fist into the air to more cheers & applause. JH: That’s So Jaime! CL: I’d imagine so, seeing as it is one of her signatures. CM: Yay for sarcasm! Jogging around in a small circle to create a small added oomph of velocity, FIW’s Sweetheart does her very own basement dropkick to Steve’s aching arm. Desperate, the Reject tries to roll away and shake some feeling back into his arm along the way as he groans & winces over it. Feebly he gets to his feet and when Jaime comes after him he ducks and rams his good arm’s shoulder into her midsection & knocks the wind out of her momentarily. With his good arm he wraps a loose front chancery around her neck and runs towards the near-by ropes with the Hellcat, scaling up them & spinning around into a standing tornado DDT! CL: Looks like even with one bad arm this emo brat won’t die. CM: Emo’s so last year. JH: Steve Patterson might not be the man with the best attitude on the roster but he knows how important this match is. FIW’s Fighting Spirit Champion pounds his palms against the apron to try and rally Jaime back up, and shockingly Roxie is trying to rally her up too. Shock wears off when she reveals she only wants her to keep going so that she can be the one that eliminates her from this match and not Steve. Lee tries to stir and push her upper body off of the mat till Patterson nails the power drive elbow drop he missed earlier square on the back of her head! Running towards the ropes, it would seem the Emo Kid doesn’t see the Hellcat getting to her feet…till he springboards off of the ropes & flips over her right into a lung blower backbreaker! CM: More flippity floppity ultra cool maneuvers! JH: Steve is quite the innovative high-flyer on top of possibly being one of the fastest wrestlers on the planet. CL: Innovative, yeah, right, if you haven’t ever watched lucha. Patterson kips back up to his feet again and actually smirks a little darkly when he sees the Hellcat Division Champion writhing in agony on the canvas. Seconds pass by and slowly Jaime starts to stir and while still aching she attempts to get up to her feet to continue to battle the Reject. As soon as she gets to her feet the world tag team champion barrels forward and in a flash is wrapping his legs around her far arm & his arms around her near arm! Using his extra weight, the Emo Kid tries to send her over and sends FIW’s Sweetheart steeping back a few paces though incredibly she stays on her feet to applause! JH: Steve Patterson’s going for the Broken Heart! The Broken Heart! CL: Thankfully it looks like Jaime is trying to avoid it. CM: Well, so much for that theory. Moments during Chip’s comment see the Reject jerking back suddenly and managing to make his opponent lose her balance and get taken off of her feet! Or, so it would seem, a perception that changes when Jaime simply throws her body back first and sandwiches Patterson against the canvas & her! Free from that potentially lethal situation, the Hellcat Division Champion staggers up to her feet and tries to catch her second (, or third) wind before she continues with the match. She opts to tough it out when she sees the state the tag champion is in and rushes over to him, in mid-step launching into the air…and hitting the shooting star press! CL: Stardust and the cover is made! CM: Mmhmm, I think I need a replay of that. [align=center]1![/align] JH: Even with all of the abuse she’s taken in this match Jaime Lee is still in this! CL: And, might have her first elimination of the match. [align=center]2![/align] CM: Why is so caring and cheerful about this? JH: I think it’s because Steve is emo. [align=center]3~!!![/align] MA: Steve Patterson has been ELIMINATED~!!! CL: Ah, that was lovely to hear…and not entirely the reason Hitchen, there is also the fact that he’s a Reject. CM: So, if my master deduction skills are intact still I do believe we only have…one…two…four wrestlers remaining! “Jaime Lee FTW” is what Extreme Ninja #2’s sign reads as he gets the fans even further behind the young lady with their applause & cheers for the elimination. This reaction soon is amplified and redirected when Ethan Adams hops over the top rope and into the ring with a smirk. After only getting a small taste of him earlier on, it is clear the Osaka fans wanted this and the First Wonder of the World plays that very thing up to them, acting like he might go back out onto the apron. During all of this show boating he doesn’t even notice Jaime scurry over to him and snatch a hold of him, rolling him up into a school boy(/girl)! CM: Another pin?! JH: Ethan Adams just had for the first time officially entered the match & Jaime is going for a cover! [align=center]1![/align] CL: While not unheard of, that’d be a ball buster to finally come in only for a flash pin to take you by surprise. CM: And, as cute as she is, if Jaime Lee starts cleaning house I’m going to get scared for our reality that such a adorable girl could be so powerful too. [align=center]2![/align] JH: While I wouldn’t word it that exact way, I have to agree with you Conse, that would have to play some games with Ethan’s mind. CL: Of course you agree with me, while your biased opinion some times hinders you seeing it, I’m usually always right on the fucking money. [align=center]THR-NO! KICK OUT![/align] CM: Phew, that was close. JH: Ethan was just a second or two away from being eliminated! Every one is worked up over how close that was, the announcers, the fans, Ninja, Jaime, and especially Ethan Adams who gets up to his feet in a dash. He snatches a hold of the referee’s shirt and with a near deranged look in his eyes makes sure that wasn’t three in any shape, way or form. Just as fast as he got to his feet he turns around and runs straight at Jaime as she is getting up to her feet and right when he’s about to pass her…throws up his knee! The knee lift clips the Hellcat on the chin and sends her staggering back and leaving her wide open for a running cross body press from the High Spot Sensation! JH: Ethan Adams looks determined to redeem himself after that almost embarrassing incident! CL: I think it’s more a matter of pride. CM: What? How could his pride be hurt? Jaime Lee touched his inner thigh and pressed up against him, that’s further than even that dorky Ninja or Hype have gotten with her! Pulling her back up to her feet, Ethan gets a rude surprise when FIW’s Sweetheart rams her head into his midsection and knocks the air out of him! The blow sends him stumbling back and clutching his stomach, unfortunately for his opponent right into a tag from the other Hellcat in the match! Roxie points to her face to signify she’s getting her back for the earlier “cheap shot” out on the apron and goes directly at Jaime full tilt looking for a running forearm strike. Lee avoids it though it turns out Galanoochie was faking her out as the stripper takes to the air and almost beheads Lee with a flying yakuza kick! CL: Mafia kick! CM: The irony. JH: Her family isn’t mafia Chip, they’re…in the strip club business obviously. Flat on her back, the Zaibatsu member bends back her legs till her knees are nearly pressed against her chest when Jaime doesn’t go down from the kick. Instead it results in the Hellcat Division Champion being sent into the ropes and she springs off of them and on spaghetti legs walks forward. This is exactly what her opponent wanted and monkey flips her to a mild applause from the fans…that turns into cheers when Lee lands on her feet after the maneuver! The dancer of a Hellcat doesn’t realize this and gets up to her feet, playing up to the crowd & taunting them, and then turns around…into a spinning back roundhouse kick! CM: Turn the Beat Around! JH: Blimey! You actually got one right, Chip! CL: Clearly it is a sign of the impending end of days. Good timing is on Roxie Galanoochie’s side tonight as she falls into a tag from Daisuke who enters the ring quickly and helps his charge find her way back onto the apron. As soon as he is done Jaime bolts right at him and start throwing out elbow strikes & kicks with hints of being martial arts kicks. The Crow leaps back from the first one to evade it and tries to avoid each of the others too, and does just that very thing with a manner of grace to it. Even batting away a few of her elbow strikes when she’s cornered him as he continues to scramble around the ring and she chases after him in a fiery state! JH: I’m not sure how wise it is to try and exchange martial arts strikes with a man like Daisuke Tanaka. CL: Being an actual ninja and having official training in this sort of thing? Yeah, Jaime’s strikes are like child’s play for him and are right up his alley of mastery. CM: Trying to imply some thing with that comparison of an alley, Conse? At such a break neck speed & after every thing she’s been through it is no surprise when after a few minutes of this exchange Jaime needs to pause to catch her breath. Which is when Tanaka decides to stop his evasion around and charges forward and he dishes out a few small side kicks to her knees & thighs & hips! She tries to snatch him though he narrowly avoids it when he hops back again, and gets an annoyed huff from the Hellcat over this annoyance. Feeling good right about now, Daisuke takes the time to rub it in her face with his infamous “Kukuku” laughter …that is silenced by a spear tackle from FIW’s Sweetheart! CL: Oh shit, looks like Daisuke’s in trouble! CM: In trouble? Conse, Jaime…Lee…is…on…top…of…him. Are you even friggin’ straight?! JH: Yes, though like some of us he has developed a thing called self-control, look into it. Sitting on top of the Crow’s chest the Hellcat Division Champion starts swinging punches out and clobbers the aforementioned Crow with them. Daisuke tries to bring up his arms to shield his poor head and to try & block some of the punches that are raining hard down on him every few seconds. What feeble means of defense he starts to form are destroyed when Lee’s plow through them to meet with the flesh & bone of Tanaka’s face and bruise it. As time passes her punches steadily grow slower in coming and have less fire to them, to the point where the ninja peaks out…only to get a head butt for his peaking! CM: I think Jaime’s pissed. JH: Wouldn’t you be if these two have been trying to bend the rules and dominant this entire match? CL: If she’s got a problem with them, take it out on Roxie, don’t take it out on the actual cool one of the two. Rage mixed with pride fuels the Hellcat up to her feet and squats down, calling for Tanaka to get up to his feet for what she’s got for him. Unaware of the present he’s about to receive, the Crow staggers up to his feet and shortly there after gets a arm wrapped around his neck from behind. Jaime leads the two straight towards the ropes and jumps into the air with Daisuke trying to counter but it’s too late as her feet meet the top rope to applause. She springs off of it and brings the two over into a bulldog that gets the usually quiet Japanese fans to cheer her again and Ninja holds up his sign that reads “Aurora Borealis!” JH: Well, yup, Ninja called it! The Aurora Borealis! CL: Ugh, contrived moves. CM: That was pretty to see…and not just because the camera man expertly got a up skirt view of her while she was performing the maneuver. Adrenaline is wearing off and it shows in Jaime as she much more feebly than before gets back up to her feet and stomps Daisuke on the head along the way to ensure he doesn’t. Eventually she gets fully back up to her feet and falls back against the ropes, and looks around at what is going on right now and how things are at the moment. Ethan Adams out on the apron, and looks unhappy and Roxie Galanoochie over opposite to him recovers on the apron still. Ninja is at ringside and with the fans is cheering her on while Daisuke Tanaka lies in fairly the center of the ring with his eyes glazed over from the maneuver. Taking a chance, she hurries over to him at a fast pace and for the second time tonight flips in mid-step to come down onto her opponent with a shooting star press! CL: Oh fuck you Jaime, the fucking Stardust. CM: Ahem, and the cover. [align=center]1![/align] JH: Roxie better do some thing soon or she’s going to lose a rather big advantage in this match! CL: Fucking hell, kick out Daisuke! [align=center]2![/align] CM: Roxie got in the ring! But Ethan cut her off with that spiny leg lariat thingy! The referee could count to a hundred and I still don’t think Daisuke would kick out. Then again… JH: If you say one more perverse comment I swear to God almighty I will kill you, I will kill you and make it look like a accident. [align=center]3~!!![/align] MA: Daisuke Tanaka has been ELIMINATED~!!! Ethan looks ready to go but Galanoochie comes from behind and tosses him out of the ring, leaving the two Hellcats in the center of the ring. The two stare down one another from the few feet that divides them, Jaime with determination & Roxie with anger written out on her features. Latter of the two Hellcats is the first one to make a move when she rushes Lee and goes for a lariat that Lee ducks underneath and spins around in mid-step afterwards. She snatches her foe and spins her around as well so they are face-to-face and starts throwing punches left & right to the stripper turned wrestler to applause from the fans! CM: Man, if one of these gals end up eliminating the other they might be in trouble. JH: Chip…you actually have a point, Ethan Adams is relatively fresh and these two are two of the ones we’ve seen the most out of here tonight. CL: Yeah, this match has almost become a fucking gauntlet for Jaime. Twelfth punch in Roxie manages to duck beneath it and goes behind the Hellcat Division Champion and this time whips her around for them to come face-to-face! Nearly mirroring Jaime to a frightening degree, her foe starts handing out punches to a mixture of hiss like jeers & applause. Further adding to the strangeness of the whole thing, Galanoochie is actually counting along with each punch she hits on FIW’s Sweetheart in succession! When she hits twelve and connects with it she actually stops to jump up & down, pumping her fists into the air and grinning brightly & proudly over what she’s done. JH: This whole trying to out do Jaime thing is getting ridiculous! CL: You just now figured that out? CM: Uh huh, that’s right, that’s right, you’re the best Roxie, work it, work it! Psst, guys, cue music, maybe she’ll be so excited we’ll get a free dance! So caught up in her feat is Roxie she doesn’t seem to notice Lee is no longer reeling and gets an eniziguri for her ignorance on this particular subject! Roxie tries to maintain her balance and stay on her feet though in the end just falls face forward onto the mat with a thud to applause from the fans. As Jaime tries to bend over to pick up her foe she gets a thumb to the eye from the other Hellcat to that sensitive area after the abuse it took earlier on. Gritting her teeth and fighting through the pain the champion rocks Galanoochie with a hard back handed slap before bringing her back up by her golden locks. CL: I do believe Jaime just bitch slapped Roxie. CM: Would that make Jaime a pimp and that her pimp hand? JH: …No…comment… Impressively the Hellcat Division Champion holds Galanoochie up in the air after throwing an arm of each of theirs over the other’s neck & grabbing some tights. All the blood in the Zaibatsu member’s body rushes to her head and continues to do so as Lee keeps her up there for several more seconds! Finally she ends the stalling suplex and slams Roxie down back first against the mat and rolls through with her, bringing her back up for another! This time much quicker, Jaime suplexs the other Hellcat and goes for it a third time only to not be able to get her up and Roxie to reverse it into a suplex of her very own! CM: Suplexs, suplexs and more suplexs! JH: My, I’m having flash backs to early TNT. CL: Well, we are seeing a lot of suplexs and we are in front of a crowd that TNT tried to steal one of their styles from…so…yeah, I can see that. Up Jaime goes for a second and down she goes again in a vertical suplex that makes her arch her back & cry out in agony over the abuse her back is taking. No time to heal yet though as Galanoochie looks to be determined to knock out the hat trick that her opponent wasn’t able to do earlier. Back on their feet, the Zaibatsu member opts rather than another suplex she delivers a vicious brainbuster that drives Lee onto her head to a cringe from EN #2. Partially lifting up the dead weight that is FIW’s Sweetheart, the other Hellcat rolls the two of them into the O’Connor Pin…and grabs the top rope behind the referee’s back! JH: What in the world?! Roxie’s cheating! CL: Well, yeah, that’s kinda what she does. [align=center]1![/align] CM: Hehehe, Roxie’s going to sneak it past the referee and win finally over Jaime! JH: Wait! What’s Ninja doing?! [align=center]2![/align] CL: Idiot is on the apron trying to distract the referee! CM: No, look! He’s pointing at the ropes! …Oh crap… [align=center]TH-TONY CLARKE KICKS ROXIE’S ARM AWAY FROM THE ROPES! JAIME LEE REVERSES THE ROLL-UP INTO A SCHOOL GIRL![/align] JH: Ninja just saved Jaime’s chances in winning this tournament! CL: …Bastard. [align=center]1![/align] CM: The jerk ruined Roxie’s big moment! JH: Big moment…of having to resort to cheating to defeat Jaime? [align=center]2![/align] CL: What the fuck?! Jaime Lee just put her feet on the middle rope! CM: Hey! S-she can’t do that! That’s cheating! [align=center]3~!!![/align] MA: Roxie Galanoochie has been ELIMINATED~!!! |
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| Kryten Shards | Dec 30 2007, 08:33 PM Post #14 |
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JH: While I don’t fully condone those actions, ha! Roxie got a taste of her own medicine! CL: Fucking bullshit! Great minds think alike it would seem as Roxie complains to Tony that she tried to kick out of the roll-up pin maneuver but couldn’t for some reason. This makes Clarke look towards Jaime who gives him the most innocent face possibly ever seen and he melts like butter for her. Galanoochie still tries to protest her case as the senior referee helps her out of the ring and Ethan Adams enters the ring as Jaime Lee gets back up to her feet. Sweat dripping off of her body as her chest heaves up & down hastily to take in air, opposite is Ethan who looks relatively fine. CL: The final two, eh, guess if I have to…Kick her ass, Ethan! CM: I don’t think that would be too hard at this point. JH: Jaime Lee’s story tonight has been one like a Cinderella, can she give it a happy ending and defeat the last obstacle in her path? Starting them off with a leg takedown, Adams hops over the Hellcat’s body and locks in a side headlock, and wrenches back on the maneuver as far as he can. Clarke circles around them and continually checks to make sure that Lee isn’t willing to give in yet and she continues to shake her hand negative. Growing impatient with his lack of results, Adams floats over and applies a front chancery and rears back on the hold as much as he possibly can. He even thrashes Jaime’s body about a bit to try and add just a little bit more of a effective to the poor gal’s already sore neck and back while Tony checks. CM: Aw…yawns-ville. JH: Ethan Adams is trying to take advantage of all the damage Jaime’s suffered through out this match yet she refuses to tap out! CL: Don’t even start with the what heart bullshit. Further adding to the suffering of FIW’s Sweetheart and getting some applause for the innovation, Ethan readjusts the front chancery so he can flip his body over Jaime’s! Now in a bridge and his arms still making a quasi-front chancery of sorts, the First Wonder of the World pulls back on the maneuver. This results in the Hellcat bending backwards and stretching as far as to the point where nearly her entire upper torso is bent upward at an awkward angle. Ninja turns away from the ring, unable to watch as the champion inside the ring screams out at the horror her body is being put through with the submission hold she’s in. JH: Oh my god! Jaime Lee resembles a pretzel more than a human being at this rate! CL: Squeeze and wrench back Ethan, make her tap. CM: Poor Jaime, as much as I like Ethan…that’s no way to treat a lady! FIW’s senior official kneels down and even the usually impartial referee is looking on with sympathy as he asks the Hellcat Division Champion if she wants to give. Again and again Lee waves her hand and shakes her head ever so slightly to show that she still wants to continue on with the match. Annoyance at her refusal to submit, Ethan pushes his feet off of the mat and goes back over to in front of her and releases the hold on the young lady. He gets right up to his feet and stands over her, his arms out and clearly wondering & silently asking her what it is going to take to put her away. CL: Don’t think it was a good idea to let his temper get the best of him right there. CM: I do, I hate submissions, especially submissions on beautiful ladies. JH: Jaime is showing why she was able to become the first ever FIW Hellcat Division Champion! Struggling to get to up on wobble arms and legs, Jaime is greeted by open handed slaps from Adams who is almost taunting her with the strikes. Because of them it makes it all the harder for her to get to her feet and causes her to slip several times when she tries to get back up to her feet. Still she keeps trying to get back up again and again, and each time is met with open handed slaps from the High Spot Sensation that is almost toying with her now. The last slap is a extra hard one when she actually gets to her feet that sends her stumbling…only to spin right around and clobber Ethan in the face with a roaring forearm! CM: Whoa! JH: Jaime is fighting back! Jaime is fighting by god back! CL: Crush this attempt at being resilient and fast! Forearm after forearm after forearm connects with Adams and sends him reeling back towards the ropes and leaves him wide open for a lou thez press! When she lands on top of him she starts firing off the forearm strikes once more, again and again they find their marks and leave Ethan in a panic. He tries to bring his arms up to block some but she simply breaks through the defenses and leaves him to resort to grabbing the near-by bottom rope. Clarke forces the Hellcat off of the First Wonder of the World and allows him to get back up to his feet, looking a tad more worried than he was moments ago. JH: Both of these competitors are so driven to win this tournament! CL: Fucking preppy scum won’t die. CM: You have issues… Ethan barrels towards his foe and in mid-run hooks his arm and is ready to sweep her leg out for the STO…except Jaime elbows him on the side of his cranium! Dazed, the High Spot Sensation is left wide open for FIW’s Sweetheart to intertwine their legs & arms and pauses after setting it up. That pause gets a small applause & cheer from the Osaka fans before she throws her body back, spiking Adams on the top of his skull with a Russian leg sweep DDT! More applause & cheers for the Hellcat Division Champion as she tries to will her body to get back up, the First Wonder of the World looking like he’s on dream street. CL: Damn it! In the fucking Rush! CM: Ooooooooh, what a rush! Ha! Remember those guys? JH: …Yes Chip, I do… Back onto her feet, Jaime stomps on the High Spot Sensation’s head a few times for good measure after his toying with her earlier on. The stomps however seem to stir Ethan and he starts getting up to his feet, and is up to about his knees when the Hellcat Division Champion strikes. She punts his head nearly clean off of his shoulders with a spinning back roundhouse kick that sends him crumbling back down to the mat in a heap of body flesh. Ninja applauding FIW’s Sweetheart and her efforts while his sign reads “L-O-L, pwned!” CM: L-O-L? What’s L-O-L? Is that some kinda warning signal like S-O-S? JH: I believe it stands for lurking once late. CL: …It stands for laughing out loud you fucking morons. Wasting no more time, the Hellcat bolts across the ring and jumps into the air, looking for the third time in this match her standing variation of the shooting star press! Unfortunately for her, Ethan arches his knees perfectly so that Lee lands exposed midsection first onto the points of his knee caps to gasps from the fans in attendance! Kipping up to his feet, Adams tries to get the kinks out of his body before he wraps his arms around FIW’s Sweetheart’s waist and locks in the waistlock boston crab! Ninja tries to rally the fans to help him help Jaime stay in this as she screams out & Tony checks on her to see if she’s ready or not. The First Wonder of the World leans back amazingly far and stretches her midsection & back even more so and puts more weight on her neck…getting her to tap! [align=center]DING DING DING~!!![/align] JH: The Ego Stroke and Jaime Lee taps, she taps! CL: Thank fuck. CM: Noooooo! MA: Here is your winner by submission and the Full Intensity Wrestling Grand Prix Two Thousand and Seven Tournament Champion…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN AAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAMMMMMSSSSS~!!! Saliva reprises over the sound system for the last time tonight and the Osaka crowd gets to there feet to give not only the present wrestlers but all of them a standing ovation. There is even a poor spoken “F-I-W” chant in the crowd while EN #2 slides into the ring and crawls over to Jaime, helping her up to a sitting position on the mat. As she’s being tended to Ethan drops to his knees, his expression a mixture of shock and happiness at winning the tournament. Further happiness some how manages to enter it when he’s presented with the custom silver plated championship with his name engraved on it. CL: While not my favorite to win, I can tolerate Ethan winning. CM: Poor Jaime, left with only some masked freak to comfort her and to help her. JH: Ethan Adams has not only made it past some very large names tonight but he also has earned himself a Dual Crown title shot that may be used at any time! When will he use it?! Will he even need to use it?! CL: For answers to these questions and more tune into us next week, happy holidays every fucking body!
[align=center]Copyright 2007, Full Intensity Wrestling in associate with Sporkco. Studios[/align] |
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2:15 PM Jul 11