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Look To Your Orb For The Warning; [Monster Magnet]
Topic Started: Jul 4 2007, 09:58 PM (43 Views)
Ash
Capt. Ash Kapow~!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Instrumental. No words required.
Cutting backstage at the Triple C Arena in Panguitch, Utah, the scene opens to reveal an apparent joint locker room, occupied by Ash Koopa. Sitting on a stool with an unopened can of Popsi in hand, the KoopaManiac greets the viewers with an indirect weak smile, whilst El Lumberjacko sits in the background and devours a meal of pancakes. Passing the can from hand to hand, Ash follows it intently with his eyes, before looking up to the camera and tilting his head in what can only be described as confusion.

Ash: "What's the point, Daisuke? Why are you wasting our time with your little speeches? Seriously, brother, what benefit is there in suggesting that we stay at home on Friday night? If there was anything worthwhile showing at the cinema, I might be tempted, but considering that I'm not actually a huge fan of Transformers, I can wait a few weeks. Or hours.."

Furrowing his brow, Ash looks upward and ponders his own comments, before shrugging to himself.

Ash: "You know we're coming on Friday, whether you like it or not. No amount of verbal persuasion is going to keep me from hitting that ring Friday night and working my damn backside off to take the tag team belts from you and your running buddies. The 'Freebird Rule' is to your advantage, but I'm quite surprised that you wanted to go another round with the KoopaManiac and his partner, the masked lumberjack. After what happened last week, I half expected the old bait-and-switch to be announced, with claims of vengeance. But you are a sneaky one, aren't you Daisuke, so it could still be coming our way. Possibly just minutes before our match.."

With a smug grin on his face, Ash continues playing the can of Popsi in his hand, spinning it around almost as if it were a Rubix cube. A metaphor for a colourful puzzle, perhaps. Or just boredom.

Ash: "Very little about you surprises me, Daisuke. If you appeared on screen next week wearing a bowler hat and face-paint, talking in Japanese and laughing like a maniac, I wouldn't be all that surprised. You're sneaky.."

Chuckling to himself, Ash throws the can from his right hand to his left hand.

Ash: "I'll be honest and agree with what you have to say, though. Me and 'Jacko, we do make a lot of threats and I'm pretty sure another one will surface within the next five minutes. And from what I can actually comprehend of yours and Blonde's speeches, you haven't actually made a threat against us, for which I commend you. It's nice to see peaceful behaviour. It's just unfortunate that what you have to say has little relevance to our encounters in the ring on a weekly basis. I make threats because it gives the 'Maniacs something to come and see, hoping I make good of my promise to drop you on your head. Or better yet, drop you on your head into a toilet bowl. I say things like that to make you doubt your abilities, even if for just a split-second. On the other hand, you just tend to confuse people and only make them afraid of the advanced English language.."

Setting the can down, Ash focuses back on the camera and grins.

Ash: "I'm English; born and raised in Reading. Elrick is English. Liam Mortell is English. Not a single one of us speaks in such a contrived manner; the only time I've really seen you express emotion was last week when you blew up in Japanese. And that only served to confuse me more."

Shaking his head in dismay, Ash picks up the can, only to set it down again in a different position. The can clearly seems to be a plaything, keeping Ash focused on the task at hand.

Ash: "If you want to confuse me, keep going. Go out on the street and throw pennies at the public whilst declaring judgement day. It'll do the trick, and maybe even get you arrested. But if you want to make me doubt my chances in the tag match or doubt my partner's abilities, you need to start using something more imaginative than throwing around the word 'coward' every time we meet up. I think we made it perfectly clear that the front office put us in that situation last week and told us to use those canes. We're not cowards when we're doing what we're told to do by the people that pay us. Sell-outs, maybe. But definitely not cowards and we'll prove that on Friday night in the ring.."

Picking up the can again, Ash rises to his feet and walks away from the stool, headed into the kitchen. As El Lumberjacko continues eating his stack of pancakes, Ash takes a seat on the table and begins throwing the can between his hands once again. Looking to his partner, Ash smirks as 'Jacko salutes with the fork, then takes a sip from a bottle of maple syrup.

Ash: "You're looking at winners, Daisuke. An English lunatic and a masked Canadian lumberjack. Not the most conventional of pairings, but I'm sure the same has been said about yourself and Blonde in the past. A good ol' country boy and a devious Japanese manipulator. You paved the way for the weird and wonderful this year, and we're walking down that same path. Eventually, we're going catch up and over-take you, snatching your gold along the way. And as my friend said earlier in the week, for us, its second time lucky. We're taking the belts on Friday night, and there's very little you can do about. You can cheat and scrap as much as you like, that's your advantage, but we've got the fans and nothing can beat that. Whether you think they'll recognise us or not, they'll still be cheering in our favour, if only for one night."

Setting the can down on the table in front of El Lumberjacko, Ash gets to his feet and smirks to the camera.

Ash: "Our night."

And with that, Ash waves the camera off and walks out of the shot, leaving El Lumberjacko and the disturbed can of Popsi. With very little of interest happening, the scene begins to fade..

[align=center]:: END? ::[/align]
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Kyle
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Carolina Gentleman
Banned
Wait just a second, there's more to this.

Before the scene completely fades to black we settle back in for another installment of promo time with the team with no name. This time instead of Ash speaking it's El Lumberjacko. Something seems the matter though, because he's tilting his head to the side and smacking the other side with his hand.

El Lumberjacko: "Sorry, it's just that I can't seem to understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. Daisuke and Mr. Blond, you are forever running your mouths without much direction at all. So apparently we're cowards for using the triple-threat dynamic to our advantage and giving you your due for attacking us. I can handle that, albeit it's a pretty cheap excuse on your part."

After several minutes of trying to help himself hear what they're saying correctly, Jacko instead decides to give up and continues with what he was saying.

El Lumberjacko: "Then after that you claim how we make constant threats towards you and you remain cool headed. That is also true, despite the fact if you were constantly attacked and cheated out of matches you'd be a little angry too. But to say that a "real" man doesn't use the ropes? I'm sorry, I didn't know that I shouldn't use the ring to my advantage and use whatever means I have to in order to break a submission. I never got the chance to counter or grab the ropes though, because your dimwitted leader saw it fit to disqualify me for no reason whatsoever. Maybe you're just jealous that you can't stand up to how good of a team Ash and I are."

He shrugs his shoulders and turns to look over at Ash, who has gone back to drinking another Popsi.

El Lumberjacko: "Now, after all that jaw jacking you did I only got that much. And for how much you talk you don't really make many points at all. It's almost like you don't know what to say, so you try to hide behind big words and elaborate speeches that lack substance. Get to the point, fellas. Time is money, and money is time. I don't have all day to sit around and dissect your one hour talk fests to get to the nitty gritty."

El Lumberjacko gets up from his seat, stretching his limbs to get life back in them.

El Lumberjacko: "The good thing about us is that when you pay your hard earned money to see us compete in the ring we give you your money's worth. Meanwhile, all you two can manage to do is talk and talk and talk and talk. So come Friday just let us do what we do best, and afterwards when you're ten pounds lighter you can talk all you want. Sound fair?"

Jacko takes a seat again, leaning back so as to relax.

El Lumberjacko: "Now we're through."

And this time, the scene does indeed fade to black, with Ash and El sitting in the joint locker room sparking up a conversation on when they'll go to the new Transformers movie.
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