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A Promo Of Much Pissed Off; ~ Momoko RP ~
Topic Started: Jul 7 2007, 05:18 PM (44 Views)
xwca
Unregistered

‘ey-ho, let’s go… ‘ey-ho, let’s go… ‘ey-ho, let’s go… ‘ey-ho, let’s go… the scene is opening up now, the walls are nice and sleek… an Asian with a mad streak, take a guess! But, unfortunately I don’t have as much time to sing and think of appropriate descriptive dialogue in according to a Ramones song I haven’t heard in a while so just picture this in your head…

In vintage ECW-esque fashion for interviews, we’re looking at the FIW logo itself presumably somewhere backstage that’s been set-up for such an occasion where, yes, we do have the current title holder for the Full Intensity Wrestling Undisputed International Championship Title and Belt AND a partial holder of the Tag Team Titles in accordance with the “Michael Hayes” rule in effect with her Tanaka Zaibatsu cohorts.

We speak, of course, of the Pink-Haired Demon herself who stands beside the only man in the entire wrestling industry who’s eccentric behaviour could parallel the bizarre choice of hair colour his interviewee chose for herself.

Yes, you guessed it… Herman Cardgage, complete with microphone and half-eaten chocolate bars of the Snickers variety for this evening… and without even saying a simple “hello” he gets the interview underway.

Herman: Excardon me, Mister Wakari… could you tell us of your opiniations of the comriving match next week?

Which subsequently gets an angry Pink-Haired Demon giving a Decapitator behind the head of the Herman Cardgage… sending crumbs and shopping bags flying in every direction, except towards Canada, before the scene as a result skits for a second before returning to the sight of Momoko Wakari with a microphone in her hand.

Momoko: Now what I want to know is who in their goddamn mind would ever, ever think of hiring this motherfuckin’ gooseberry? In fact, even better question… who, is their right mind upstairs sat down at the table with the rest of the cock-sucker committee and thought,

“Hey, for next ReVolt… why don’t we stick that pink-haired Asian girl with the masked dude against that Goomba dude and the Lumberjack dude?”

Then another went,

“YEAASSSS!!! BOOK IT!!”

And suddenly I find myself in a Tag Match with the guy I sliced open the previous week and two bastards who can‘t even think of a decent fucking name for their name!!


Momoko’s frustration level, indicated in our imagination by the anime face fault of pulsating crossed forehead veins, starts to rise as the promo goes on… in an act to further emphasis this flash of anger, mostly for the benefit of our more western audience more encompassed to watch live-action wrasstlin’ or those queer Ninja Turtles she grinds her teeth against each other before, eventually, carrying on with venting her spleen.

Momoko: It’s bad enough the people upstairs couldn’t draw flies to a pile of fuckin’ shit, but that’s not what’s I have to worry about…

It’s bad enough I’m having to watch over my shoulder in case Crackerjack decides to get involved in something he should have had more sense not to get involved in, but that’s not what concerns me…

It’s bad enough I’m going to step into the ring next Friday, look across the other side and have to resist the temptation not to stick a serrated pike up someone’s spinal column… but that’s not what I find aggravating about this thing, you see?

What’s frustrating to me is that, no matter who beats me… IF they beat me. I have the displeasure of having to see their ugly face again sometime in the near future where they get a chance to take huge chunk of silver off my back. Not that I wouldn’t appreciate the gesture of helping me out… OK, that’s just a lie but I digress…

It’s not that I don’t think the Undisputed International Championship Belt is worth my time defending, but in comparison to having to see either that goofy muppet or that square-jawed fuckstain for a second time in recent memory it would be more preferable to sit on a bee’s nest.


Finally, we get a brief pause from the FIW Undisputed International Champion who brushes a few of her vibrant dyed locks behind her ear…

Momoko: Yeah, I know a lot of people aren’t going to like what I’ve had to say but fuck ’em… I don’t give a crap, never have and never will.

If your dick’s long enough, go shove it up your ass ya’ fucking smarmy ingrates… you know I’m coming to Arizona University to raise some hell and make people bleed all over the place… and possibly later after the show not get myself pregnant.

See you on July 13th, boys…


And, with that being said, Momoko drops the microphone altogether and we fade to black
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