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| You failed/Arrogance; Impact/Nightmare | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 9 2007, 06:48 PM (51 Views) | |
| Xtreme Kitten | Jul 9 2007, 06:48 PM Post #1 |
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Extremely Ordinary
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[The scene opens to a shot of Xtreme Kitten wearing; his mask and a white bath robe that has “Fairmont Princess Resort and Spa” logo on the left breast. Kitten stares at the camera with more contempt for it's presence then usual from a fancy looking couch] XK: Why couldn't you take a day off? [Kitten is obviously asking the camera operator but gets no response. Lucy walks into shot wearing a similar robe to Kitten. Kitten follows Lucy as she walks towards him] Lucy: They couldn't have today off because I asked them to be here. [Lucy sits next to Kitten] XK: I knew that but they could have ignored you, they could have let me have my peace. Lucy: Well the faster we get this done the earlier you can get to you peace. XK: Or they could just go away and comeback tomorrow. [Lucy shakes her head] Lucy: No, tomorrow we are going to that fashion complex. [Kitten rolls his eyes and locks them on the camera] XK: Seriously come back tomorrow, save me from having to carry all those bags. Lucy: You have things to say today, say them now. XK: I having nothing to say today but I get the feeling I'll have plenty to talk about tomorrow. Lucy: You have plenty to talk about now. XK: Like what? Has Jaime Lee been running around with one of my masks and now I have to defend myself again? Because you know those mask are sold at every FIW event and on-line right? [Lucy shakes her head] Lucy: No nothing to do with Jaime Lee. XK: Nothing? It's the first promo of the week and I'm not being accused of cheating on you with Jaime Lee? Excellent you've come to your senses and realised I'm obviously not the one with her. Lucy: No, no that's not it she just hasn't done anything with you or whoever else it is this week or if she has she hasn't been dumb enough to let it get caught on camera. XK: Okay then if I don't have to defend myself against the ridiculous idea that I'd have anything to do with Jaime Less then what do I have to talk about? Lucy: Extreme Ninja Number Two, Matt Impact, Nightmare, the triple threat tag match in general. [Xtreme Kitten slowly nods] XK: Oh right those things, I'm pretty sure I'll have more to say on them tomorrow. [Lucy glares at Kitten] Lucy: You aren't getting out of shopping so you may as well talk now. [Xtreme Kitten hangs his head for a moment] XK: Okay time for the bit, last week, what happened last week? Lucy: Extreme Ninja Number Two won a shot at the Dual Crown and you drew with Matt Impact. XK: Oh right. [Kitten lifts his head and looks at the camera] XK: Well I don't really have much to talk about as far as the second rate referee and third rate martial artist is concerned so that leaves us with Matt Impact. Who for all his talk and preparation failed, it turned out he was wrong. Now he is claiming it was a success despite me still be the champion and him getting nothing done. Lucy: I wouldn't say nothing. [Kitten looks at Lucy] XK: You wouldn't? Well what did he get done? [Lucy is about to respond when Kitten cuts her off] XK: It was a crossword puzzle wasn't it? [Lucy looks confused as Kitten's guess] Lucy: No, well like he claimed in his promo he got in your head, he proved he was back and meant business. XK: He meant business alright if he is getting paid by the hour. He's back, I saw him but he proved he was back as soon as he took his hood off after my match with Ragin' so I don't know why he'd even bother claiming that. As for being in my head? Ah not exactly as he thought. I did walk in last Friday thinking I had an easy night and I did have an easy night. [Lucy stares at Kitten] Lucy: Really? Because I remember having to carry you to the back. XK: You wanted to and you know it. Lucy: Oh yes because I love physically supporting people who are nearly twice my weight. [Lucy is obviously being sarcastic] XK: No, because you love being able to lead me around. Lucy: Yeah on a leash not dangling from my shoulder! XK: Bah you still loved it. Lucy: Look can we get past this? I didn't have an easy night lugging you to the locker room so what do you mean you had an easy night? XK: I didn't have to fight him much. Lucy: You realise you fought him for an hour. XK: No, the match lasted for an hour. Lucy: Right at least you know that. XK: I didn't fight Matt that whole time. [Kitten looks at the camera] XK: For every manoeuvre I had you had a counter? [Xtreme Kitten looks up as if he is trying to remember then looks back at the camera] XK: I don't remember trying an manoeuvres... I really do try anything that you would call a manoeuvre, maybe I did but I don't remember it. [Kitten looks at Lucy] Lucy: I don't know, I kinda got bored there for a while and wondered off into my imagination where I can wrestle and don't need you but keep you around as eye candy. XK: Masked eye candy right? Lucy: Of course, can't risk people trying to get at my candy, my: oversized, over protective, over paid candy. [Xtreme Kitten then turns back to the camera] XK: For every strike I had you had a way to evade? [Kitten looks up again remembering then back to the camera] XK: Oh right you diving out of the ring after I hit you a few times, yeah I guess you might call the evading. Some might call it smart, you knew you couldn't match up to me face to face so you backed off to come up with a plan and maintain consciousness. However I am not you I don't call it evading, I call it what it is and it's cowardice. You kept running away like a sook, I'd give you a couple of hits you didn't like so you'd run off. Running off isn't evading. Bobbing and weaving that's evasion. Side stepping or stepping just out of range that's evasion. Getting out of the ring because your getting hit? That's being; a wuss, a sook, a pansy, a nancy boy, a wimp, chicken, a gutless wonder- [Lucy cuts in] Lucy: Can you stop there? Otherwise you'll never get your peace. [Kitten looks at Lucy] XK: Good point [Kitten looks at the camera] XK: Point is Matt your soft. I'm not sure if you've always been soft or the fact you've had a few months off has left you that way but I do know last Friday you were. So I know what I am gonna do, if you manage to beat Prime; likely the only person in FIW who is more of a coward then you are, I will fly your mother out to Las Vegas for Summer of Sin, I will sit her right in the front row so that when I hit on the night, you can run away like you did Friday, run over to mummy, get her to kiss the booboo away and complain to her about how the bad man hurt you. That will leave me to fight Kiyoshi Nakahata, oh sure I issued the open challenge because I don't consider him much competition but at least in all of our battles he never ran from me. For every time I had in in a position comparable to the one I had you in at Anarchy in the U.K. you showed me just how prepared and ready you were? [Again with the eyes looking up as he remembers, he then looks at the camera] XK: Prepared to have the official order me away, ready to cling to the ropes and the corner for as long as it took to back me up. [Kitten looks at Lucy] XK: See he's in my head alright but not as the man that took me to a limit. [Kitten looks at the camera] XK: The Matt Impact up here [Kitten taps the side of his head with a fist as if knocking on it] XK: Is a man who wasted a complete hour of time for; himself, the referee, the announce team, the camera crew, the ring crew, the production team, the crowd, the people watching on TV, Lucy and myself. The Matt Impact in my head is a coward who can't take a hit. The Matt Impact in my head doesn't stand up for himself when an official tells him he can't compete. The Matt Impact in my head can't handle the impact. You think bringing angry and fury over me drains me Matt? If that were the case I wouldn't be able to compete because I'd be asleep, much like Steven Colbert my natural state is rage. I'm an angry guy if you haven't noticed. Fortunately I don't have a problem controlling it. [Lucy shakes her head cutting in] Lucy: Unless? XK: Unless something happens to Lucy then control flies out the window. [Xtreme Kitten looks up trying to remember something then looks at the camera with a smile] XK: One extra minute? Is that what I heard from you? One extra minute and you think you would have been the Dual Crown champion? This is a lot like that theory you had about attacking Ragin' Matt, no one knows what would have happened then just like no one knows what would have happened if you had that extra minute. You like to think you would have won, I'll admit it's possible, it's also possible I would have kicked out, it's also possible your tired arse wouldn't have been able to get me in the ring in time. One extra minute is what you wish for and you could have had it if you weren't a chicken shit who spent more time wondering around the ring then he did trying to actually beat me but hey hindsight is twenty twenty and as blind as you are you probably can tell you fucked up. I know you don't want me to answer these questions just yet Matt but I'm going to do them now because I might just forget them later. How does it feel knowing the Dual Crown aren't safe? Well I'm pretty confident they are safe for the moment. I have thought about it since after actually wanting them and I'll tell you what the idea that they aren't safe that, they could be taken from me is exciting. It means there is someone out there that can provide a decent challenge, I've failed to find that person so far though, so if you know someone like that Matt maybe you could tell them I'm looking for them put us in touch, hook a champion up. I've got one last thing to say to you Matt, congratulations on making it to Summer of Sin. I'll have the first class ticket out to your mother by the end of the week. Lucy: You're congratulating him before the match has even happened? [Kitten turns to Lucy] XK: Yes. Lucy: Why? XK: Well although they both suck, I'm pretty sure if Matt can over come his fear of actually fighting someone he can beat Prime... though I'd put money on a random child from the audience beating Prime. Lucy: I see. So onto this week. XK: That brings us to the triple threat tag match, which leaves me with only Bill to talk about. Lucy: You know Ethan Adams has something up on the site as well right? [Kitten nods] XK: Yeah but there was nothing specifically about me so I didn't pay attention to it. On the other hand Bill as always when he has anything remotely to do with him has caught my attention. [Xtreme Kitten turns his attention to the camera] XK: First of all it wasn't Bill that caught my attention but Gunnar Leonard or whatever the dude with the moustache is called. Now I don't know who Gunnar has been talking to but these things he's been hearing about Bill getting a shot is he can pin me are all in his head as far as I can tell. I've received no news of this special stipulation that seems to be only for Nightmare, what about Kiyoshi, Ethan and Grant? What if they beat me do they get nothing but a pat on the back and bragging rights? Have you heard anything about this? [Kitten turns to Lucy, she shakes her head] Lucy: No but seeing as you gave the general manager more reason to hate you thanks to the open challenge I wouldn't put it past them to have kept me out of the loop. I have know idea why it would be Nightmare specifically though. I mean if he really wanted you dethroned why wouldn't he have opened it up to people who might stand a chance of taking the Dual Crown? [Kitten turns back to the camera] XK: Lucy makes the next point I was going to bring up people. Why Bill? Surely if any of them should get the chance to earn a shot it would be Grant Rice, the man outlast Bill. So did Kiyoshi and Sean but Kiyoshi has his chance and Sean well Sean's on my team so him beating me in the match would be stupid. Gunnar I want you to pretend you're a real journalist next time, do some research, get proper sources and if unless they are some kind of confidential informant sight them! [Kitten pauses for a moment probably to allow Gunnar to take notes of the tips] XK: Away from poor journalistic skills though and onto poor skills period. Bill you cripple you. You didn't come up at the short end of the stick in the battle royal, you lost, you got your face kicked and dumped over the top rope like a piece of trash, white trash. You're confident you can beat me because you've done it once? That's like me being confident I can get a hole in one on every swing because I've done that once. You should be more confident in the fact that I'll beat you like I have done every time since then, remember I beat you twice at International championship and I outlasted everyone in the International Showdown match and pinned you to the mat to do it. Is there a chance if we face again one on one you can beat me? Yeah there is a chance, there is also a chance that next time we face I'll finally snap, sick of seeing you in the ring and go after that bum knee of yours and leave you so screwed up you'll be like Hugh Laurie's character on House, Doctor Gregory House, walking with a cane popping pills every couple of hours because of the pain except way less cool. I don't know what has you thinking you've got my number Bill, we haven't faced since I was the International Champion for the second time. That is to say you haven't stepped into the ring with me for several months. If you haven't noticed Bill I am officially the best in the company, you haven't been facing the best in the company you've been facing, hacks and clown hacks which is where you probably feel home. You're simply being arrogant if you think you have my number, if you think without something drastic happening that you can beat me. This being a tag match with you buddy Grant Rice watching your back that's not drastic enough. Grant Rice might be a better wrestler then you, he might be able to survive battle royals longer then you, he might have carried your sorry arse to the Tag Team Championship but him being in your corner is not enough for you to justify such a claim Bill. The Revolution being former tag team champions that's not enough for your current level of confidence to be reasonable. Kiyoshi, Ethan, Sean they wont be able to save me when you come after me, you at least got that right. They wont be able to save me because there will be nothing to save me from. Your dreams and goals don't make you any better of a fighter Bill. You might think you have my number just like any time to face anyone you think you can beat them. You thought you could take the International championship from me and you failed. You thought you could keep the Tag Team championship from Daisuke and company and you failed that. You gave up on that actually, not that I blame you, I applaud you on that it was tap out of suffer an injury and you made the right choice for yourself, you selfish bastard. [Kitten pauses seeming disappointed that Nightmare didn't actually get injured] XK: As far as not being good enough a tag team competitor to lace the Revolution's boots you've got it wrong buddy I'm too good a tag competitor to even touch your boots. We are so far apart as tag team competitors our boots don't even go to the same shined in the same place, mine get a spa treatment, washed, massaged with oil then polished, yours stay at home and rub polish on themselves. Your little hack team has done real nice for themselves what with being former champions. You've finally found a partner who doesn't mind that you're a leech. Though a team you used to leech off was better, you know me and Ashamed-to-show-his-mask, yeah we were great, we were so good a team we had a period of three months where we didn't defend the championship because there was no competition to face us and by us I mean me and the two hundred and fifty pounds of dead weight I carried around. If the dirty brooder were still around and I could stand to be around him for more then five minutes at a time, we would wipe the floor the Revolution and the Zaibatsu for that matter. Sadly when I have my hand raised you wont be able to say you just got beat by the best tag team to ever grace FIW, you'll have to settle for the greatest singles and tag champion and Sean Madrox. Tanya would want you competing at one thousand percent? You and her realise that would mean there were ten of you all trying your hardest right? She probably doesn't and neither would you but I like that number and you should get working on it. You should get to work on a getting ten clones of yourself or maybe you should just keep knocking up the ex-wife while your girlfriend hopefully comes to her senses and wonders what the hell she is doing with you. When you children come of age I will fight them, I'll fight this new leech spawn Tanya's dropping any day and I'll fight Christina when the time comes too, what is she like sixteen or something now? Only a few more years and I'm gonna kick that girl so hard in her face she'll think I'm her father... of course she'd be better off if I was, I mean really I'm great role model for teenagers and kiddies alike, I'm a winner after all, not to mention I'm easily paid more. [Lucy shakes her head] Lucy: Were aren't getting a child. [Kitten looks at Lucy] XK: I like how you said getting, like your against the idea of having one but no we aren't getting a child, we have a crazy cat, the last thing we need is a child to for that cat to play with, it's bad enough that it tried to feed your niece's doll that one time, I can't image what it would try on a real one. [Kitten looks back to the camera] XK: So Bill I want you to find Christina and the one the way brat a coach, not yourself, don't try and teach them yourself find a good one. Because I want to see if someone in your family can actually challenge me consistently... that means I'll have to fight them more then once, so get them fight doctor too, not yourself... don't try being their fight doctor, they'll end up leaving with a bump on the head, a swollen eye or two, broken nose, busted mouth, you'll get to them and bam I wouldn't get to face them again because believe as you might that you are a doctor you'd screw up and hurt them more then I ever could. Lucy: You realise Nightmare probably doesn't believe he is a doctor. [Kitten looks at Lucy] XK: Yes I know but it's the kind of stupid shit he would believe. Though I am sticking to the last part, Bill's gonna screw up and end up hurting both those kinds more then I ever could. [Kitten looks at the camera] XK: That's right Bill, I'm accusing you of being a bad father, not as bad as you are a wrestler or a person but still pretty bad. What are you gonna do about it? Get angry, yell at me, make idle threats that when the time come never get followed through with because I am a better fighter then anyone on the roster and easily capable of defending myself against a poor wrestler, a horrible person and a bad father? [Kitten has a smile as wide as his mask's space for such lip movement] XK: Tar Tar [End of footage] |
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