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ReVolt - Directors Cut; [The Team With No Name]
Topic Started: Jul 9 2007, 11:12 PM (57 Views)
Ash
Capt. Ash Kapow~!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
My angels, they have found me now.
The scene opens up somewhere bland within the Wells Fargo Arena, which is situated at the State of Arizona University. No points for guessing which state the university is in. Regardless of the location, there are two canvas chairs situated in front of the camera, similar to those found on the set of a movie, and behind them is a plain white wall. No logos or paintings; nothing. As two shadows loom across the floor, Ash Koopa and El Lumberjacko walk into the shot and quickly take a seat, before greeting the camera with a nod. Whilst 'Jacko observes a bottle of Diet Maple Syrup in his hands, Ash takes a sip on a can of Popsi and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, then turns his focus to the camera and smiles.

Ash: "It's not too often that I find myself saying this, but I agree with you Momoko. I agree with you one hundred percent. Every week, I sit back and I try to understand what exactly goes through the minds of those who work for the front office. Beyond the matches that highlight the top of the shows, there seems to be very little thought put into the matches involving people the fans actually enjoy seeing. Considering what happened last week, the last thing I expected was to be put across the ring from Momoko Wakari and Crackerjack. Considering what happened.."

As he repeats the last line, Ash's eyes narrow and his left hand begins to squeeze the can of Popsi, sending some the contents dripping over his hand and onto his leg. Just for reference, Ash is wearing denim jeans by Guess? and a self-promoting t-shirt from the FIW shop; El Lumberjacko is wearing something that may have possibly been donated by a tramp.

Ash: "Normally, I respect the decisions of a referee, but not last week. Last week, we won that match. Last week, I pinned Daisuke to the mat for a three count, only to have the decision over-turned because his foot on the rope. That, I can just about stomach. Barely. And then, I manage to pin Blond to the mat for another three count. Lo and behold, the decision is reversed because the time limit expired. The referee made the three count. He counted our victory twice in that match, and yet, where are our Tag Team Championships? Where are they, 'Jacko?"

As Ash glances to his partner, El Lumberjacko quickly surveys himself, then looks underneath the chair, before turning back to 'The KoopaManiac'.

El Lumberjacko: "Not around our waists, that's for sure."

Ash: "They're still tucked safely away in the Tanaka Zaibatsu camp. I hate to throw this word around, but as far as I'm concerned, we were screwed. No offence to you when I say this 'Jacko, but I managed to pin both opponents in that match for a three count, and yet, we get absolutely nothing out of it. Once again, our situation is over-looked and we're put against the dysfunctional pairing of Momoko Wakari and Crackerjack. All the while, Daisuke is rewarded with a shot at the Fighting Spirit Championship, despite already being an unworthy Tag Team Champion. Where the Hell is the justice in that?!"


Out of frustration, Ash throws his can to the floor and scowls into the camera. As El Lumberjacko rests his right hand on his partner's left shoulder, Ash quickly brushes it off and takes a moment to gather his wits, before continuing.

Ash: "Sure, we have an opportunity to get an opportunity at the Undisputed International Championship, but there are two terms to meet. Firstly, one of us has to defeat Momoko, and secondly, one of us has to defeat Momoko. I'm not going to deny that I'd relish a shot at the belt some point in the near future, but at the same time, I'm not going to risk splitting this team in order to do that. I'm sure the same can be said for El Lumberjacko. Had we been randomly put together for this match, I wouldn't be too bothered about sneaking the win, but we're partners and we're focused on the Tag Team Championship. If, by the grace of Hogan, we win and one of us actually manages to get the Momoko, I would much rather we get put in the ring with the Zaibatsu for the Tag belts and not the International strap.."

As 'Jacko slurps on his syrup, Ash glances left and smirks at his partner, then turns back to the camera.

Ash: "No disrespect intended, but I'm not overly fussed about talking to Crackerjack right now, unless he's the latest card-carrying member of the Zaibatsu and neglected to tell anyone. All I have is a little message for Momoko."

A wicked grin suddenly flashes across Ash's face.

Ash: "Now then, little lady. I want you to realise something. Myself and 'Jacko, we're at odds with the Tanaka Zaibatsu. And because you're one third of the Tag Team Champions, you're guilty by association. Last week, I pinned Daisuke and I pinned Blond in the same match. To put it simply, you're next.."

Apparently done, Ash slowly nods to the camera, then leans back in his seat and turns to El Lumberjacko, before motioning for his partner to continue the segment..
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Kyle
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Carolina Gentleman
Banned
El Lumberjacko: "What I'm wondering Koop, is if I stick my hand far enough down in Crackerjack's stomach if I can find the prize. You know, like those boxes of Crackerjack with the carmel coated popcorn and inside there's a prize. Man, those are awesome."

As Jacko backflashes to days of eating Crackerjack and continues to slurp on his maple syrup, Ash gives him a weird look.

El Lumberjacko: "I guess I should focus on the task at hand though and shoot on our opponents. I'm all for the idea of getting a shot at the Undisputed International Championship, but Ash is right when he says that splitting the team for that goal isn't worth it. And it's not as tempting as a shot at the Tag-team Championships. It seems like since day one here in FIW the odds have been against us and a lot of the time we've been screwed over. Take for example the past two times we've had a shot at the tag gold. First, the Tanaka Zaibatsu interfere and cost us it. Then the second time the two pinfalls you got weren't counted because of Mr. Blond placing his partner's foot on the rope and then the other one because of a time limit draw."

He shakes his head in disappointment, before he finally gets to the bottom of his syrup, having drank it all. El squeezes out the last few drops and deposits it on the floor.

El Lumberjacko: "Not only have we been screwed over, we've been placed all over the card. It's as if they don't even know what to do with us so they stick us where ever is convenient. I'm waiting for the day that direction comes knocking on our door, because being placed in triple threats and quadruple threats and quintuplet threats just aren't my thing. Neither are random tag-team matches like this week's match."

In search of another can of diet maple syrup El Lumberjacko looks around the room, but ends up maple syrup-less. Especially considering the fact that outside of where they're seating there isn't anything else.

El Lumberjacko: "It's sad how few people here actually appreciate a good sense of humor. It seems like whenever our team name or lack of team name is brought up people like to be a smarty pants and say how we can't even come up with a name. Ever heard of humor? I mean, come on, is it that hard to understand that it's supposed to be funny and not just another generic name for two people? Sheesh, get with it."

A disgruntled huff comes out from the masked lumberjack's mask, meanwhile Ash gets more comfortable in his seat shifting himself about.

El Lumberjacko: "Now Momoko, just because you have that strap of gold around your waist doesn't give you the right to run your mouth off like a sailor. It's cool to pretend to be a sailor, but you're taking it to a whole new level with that potty mouth of yours. And while that pink hair is stylish, it hurts the eyes like sitting in a dark room and seeing a lime green font on the computer screen. There's nothing worse than that, I can tell you. Right, Koop?"

Ash turns to Jacko and nods, confirming their distaste in a lime green font.

El Lumberjacko: "I don't know what sort of conflict you have with Crackerjack prize filled or not, but it's to our advantage. And since you're apart of The Tanaka Zaibatsu it only makes it more appropriate for us to lay into you even harder than we normally would. You may find it funny interfering in other people's matches and attacking them with their backs turned, but we don't think it is at all. Come this Friday, girl and prize filled delicious snack, we're going to run wild on you, sister and brother. Koopamania is alive!"

He bursts out of his chair and gets directly in the camera's view, flexing his muscles and doing Hulk Hogan like taunts. In the background you can see Ash looking at his partner with a confused look, then placing his face in his hands in shame. The scene slowly fades to black with Jacko still doing his taunts and Ash trying to get him to stop.
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