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What She Lacks In Size, She Makes Up In Madness; ~ Momoko RP ~
Topic Started: Jul 15 2007, 07:28 PM (48 Views)
xwca
Unregistered

To say that the scene opens up in any creatively interesting or visually appealing fashion without myself being forced to describe it in any such manner that would subsequently break the quote, unquote “kayfabe” of efedding and make some vague reference to American cartoons, television programs or films of which I care little about and have nothing to do with wrestling at all wouldn’t be too much of a requirement for your feeble little imaginations, would it?

No? Never mind then… picture the scene, if you will, of one particular young lady within the Full Intensity Wrestling roster that, aside from cacophony of the peers amongst us, is amongst the most violent and evil women to walk the face of the Internet. Yes, there it is… kayfabe-breakage yonder ho!

But I digress…

I speak, in no unrestricted terms, of the Pink-Haired Demon herself that stands alongside nerd-meister 5000 himself… OK, that name sucks but whatever… Toby Bostock who, armed with both a microphone and his geeky charm… and his sense of journalistic integrity, which would make it three things, I know.

Good Lord, I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition…

Momoko: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

Toby, evidently not “in” on the joke played, passed a bemused expression to both our respective audience and the psychotic sickle-wielding Asian woman before him

Toby: …excuse me?

Momoko: Shut up, Toby… get on with your fucking job!

Still confused, Mister Bostock shrugs it off like Low Ki taking chops before poising the first question to his interviewee like good lad

Toby: Uh, OK… as I’m sure you’re aware, Momoko, you’re scheduled to have a match… a Horrorcore Tag-

Momoko: A HARDCORE Tag Team Match, Toby. I killed whatever “Horrorcore” was suppose to be in wrestling six months ago, remember?

Toby: Um… ’kay… a Hardcore Tag Match with you and Jamie Lee against La Lesbiana Fantastica and Kailey Lane so I guess the first question would be what your thoughts are going into this match?

Momoko just gives Toby a pitying look… the same type of look I give those poor know-it-all saps on the Internet who think they know anything about wrestling outside of watching tapes and youTube.

Momoko: Not only is that the first question you’re asking me but it’s the most obvious question you could ask me, or anyone else for that matter… but, for once, it’s actually quite an important question.

Reason being, Toby, is that the folk upstairs finally have their heads screwed on for once and didn’t just throw me into meaningless match after match just to fill up the weekly cards. This match, unlike any other I’ve had since I slaughtered Onikage a little over a month ago now, actually has some history to it.


Toby just blankly stares at Momoko, seemingly oblivious to the whole point the Gogo Yubari-like Japanese chick before him is making… and to provide the sustenance for my obsession with paragraph breaks.

Momoko: Yeah, I know Jamie and Fantastica from way back in that Southern Indy promotion that Cuttings-san had last year. And my first matches in FIW were against Kailey Lane herself…

So, you can safely say those three with the added stipulation of anything that’s not already been nailed down to the floor being deemed eligible for use and then me, of all people, thrown into the mix… will result in a slaughter that nobody with a dick in their pants could have ever dreamed of.


Hardcore Pro-Feminist comment aside, Toby adds another question into the mix…

Toby: Dick-less-ness aside, do you have anything to say to your partner and opponents at the moment?

Momoko: Plenty, give me that fucking mike…

Snatching the schtick out of the geeky interviewer’s hands, Momoko swats him away like thrush before continuing on her systematic diatribe…

Momoko: Jamie, I’m not sure if you remember or not… you don’t look like the sharpest knife in the drawer so I’ll just refresh your memory;

Do you remember last year you were in a match with a friend of mine? Emi Nishimura? Also known as “Bad Nurse” Nishimura? Well, I‘d say that I was coming into this match to exact vengeance and mangle your anatomy into the result of car accident or, failing that, a Uwe Boll production… but neither me nor Suzuko, and I‘m pretty sure Mijutso, didn‘t really like her that much and you‘re going to help me bash in Fantastica‘s and Kailey‘s face so everything‘s OK, for now.


What? Another paragraph break?? Imagine that…

Momoko: La Lesbiana Fantastica and Kailey Lane… they both already know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of my Stop Sign. They both already know what it’s like to get laid out with a Spinning Back Fist and be staring at the ring lights because of me…

But the only difference this time will be, girls, is that you’re going to have to be in the ring with me when all the wonderful toys you’ve seen me use are all virtually legal and above the law. So, the only question I have to ask you is… what do you want in your face that night?

Hmm? Will it be Orochi, the spiked chain-sickle? A clawed glove like the one Freddy Kruger used? A Fire Axe? An Electric Drill? What does one wish the most to torture another human being with? In any case, Kailey… Fantastica… I will be coming to San Jose with the intention to do harm.

One final word of advice… don‘t use up all your sick days.


Tossing the mike back to Toby, Momoko takes leave of this promo and, subsequently, leaves us high and dry enough to consider getting a drink of Kool-Aid or some shit…
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