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| Two Time Contender; El Lumberjacko | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 19 2007, 02:09 AM (38 Views) | |
| Kyle | Jul 19 2007, 02:09 AM Post #1 |
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Carolina Gentleman
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Hmm...what's an interesting location for this week? I've got an idea, how about the aisle of your local Wal-Mart? Yeah, that works for me, because I'm clueless otherwise. So we're in the aisle, just minding our own business before a masked luchadore bounces into the scene. Of course we're in the toys area of the store, because anywhere else would just be weird. El Lumberjacko: "Ah ha! So you've found my secret hiding place. Clever bunch of fellows you are, looking in the very last place you'd ever find me. In the toys department of your local Wal-Mart. As if anyone would dare to venture there to find the best lumberjack ever!" A resounding bellow comes forth from Jacko's mask as he leans back and places his hands around his mouth to make it louder. El Lumberjacko: "Listen to me roar!" And roar he does, like a lion right out of some remote, desert place. El Lumberjacko: "Even Simba himself would be jealous at such a roar that I just let out for all of you to hear. And you wonder why I'm roaring? After last week's match I, FIW's lumberjack luchadore, is now your proud holder of two contenderships. Not only am I a top contender to the FIW Tag-team Championships of the World, but I also have the rights to the contendership of the FIW Undisputed International Championship. In your faces, Momoko and Crackerjack. Thought you could ever manage to beat these?" El Lumberjacko flashes his "guns" or lack of "guns" for that matter to the camera. Flexing and trying to show off every muscle in his arm to seem intimidating. El Lumberjacko: "And like I promised, you'll be receiving those Crackerjack prizes in the mail as a consolation for your loss. To tell you the truth though, I'm not even interested in Momoko's silly belt. No, no, good sirs and ma'ams. I'm interested in the biggest prize of 'em all, well, at least if you're a tag-team in this company. The FIW Tag-team Championships of the World, my friend. Ash, pack your bags buddy, we're headed to Disney Land! Wait, that doesn't really make any sense at all, since I don't have the money to go there at all, let alone take you with me. Um, let's just settle for another shot at the tag-team titles because I'm cashing in my win over Momoko for one." He throws a thumb's up to the camera, then turns his attention to the side where he notices something on the rack. El Lumberjacko: "Eegads! Is this what I think it is?" El removes a package off the rack and investigates it. El Lumberjacko: "Dude, I didn't know they had already made an action-figure of me! This is so freakin' cool." He holds the package up for everyone to see, and sure enough, it's an action-figure likeness of yours truly, El Lumberjacko. Complete with a small chainsaw, as well as a stump. El Lumberjacko: "I'm so totally buying this when I leave here and finish this promo. It's going right up on the wall of success back at my parents' house. And you thought I'd never achieve anything, grandpa! You old fart of a slightly younger fart. What have you done? Besides win the war of the logs back in 1842, then go on to win the nobel peace prize. Yeah...you stupid old person. So old, with your veins all poking out and stuff." Calming down from his rant slightly, he goes back to admiring his action figure, then continues his promo again. El Lumberjacko: "Right, so this week I'm in another six-man tag-team match. But instead of ranting about it being not what I wanted, it's exactly what I wanted. The reunion of the team with no name! Well, the three man team of us at least, not the regular team. Soon enough, like my good friend Koopa, Ash, said, there will be gold around all our waists. We're just one win away from securing the tag-titles. Liam's already got himself a championship too, so after we win some gold we'll be the most successful stable ever! We've got to deal with some dastardly foes this week though." He puts the figure down for a moment, looking to focus on the next bit. El Lumberjacko: "Mr. Blond and Daisuke Tanaka. Daisuke Tanaka and Mr. Blond. Sean Madrox and Mr. Blond. Mr. Blond and Sean Madrox. Daisuke Tanaka and Sean Madrox. Sean Madrox and Daisuke Tanaka. Whew, sorry, had to list out all the combinations of the three. I think I forgot a few though, but that's neither here nor now. In our on-going feud with The Tanaka Zaibatsu we're face to face with the holders of what we hold dear. The titles that should rightfully be around the waist of myself and Ash Koopa. Boys, I'm going to lay a lumberjack style beatdown on you this week. I feel high and mighy after that last win, and I'm looking for another. You better watch out, cuz it's lumberjacking time!" Jacko lets out another roar, getting pumped for his match this week. El Lumberjacko: "Oh yeah, and Sean Madrox, I'm coming for you too. You may be an unlikely factor to this whole thing, but you've got to be taken care of nonetheless. For when the trio with no name reunite, it's going to be fantastico!" He picks the figure back up and looks to run off, but turns to the camera one last time. El Lumberjacko: "If you'll excuse me, I need to go make a purchase up at the counter. Mini-Jacko, are you ready to be bought by your master?" El Lumberjacko leans out of the scene of the camera and a small voice is heard. Mini-El Lumberjacko: "Yes!" His head comes back into the scene again and he looks down at the figure. El Lumberjacko: "By golly, you're going to be bought!" Finally, Jacko sprints out of the view of the camera, leaving the camera man to slowly close in on the aisle. Various toys are seen and what not, before everything fades to black. |
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2:33 PM Jul 11
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2:33 PM Jul 11