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| Reach out and touch someone; [La Lesbiana Fantastica] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 24 2007, 10:24 PM (42 Views) | |
| Wigumoto | Jul 24 2007, 10:24 PM Post #1 |
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NPC
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This week we find ourselves in…in…hang on… …What do you mean there’s no arena this week? …It’s outdoors? Well whose idea was that? …But how am I supposes to start a promo without the humorous and fictitious history of the arena? Did you think about me at all when you made that decision? …No, no you bloody didn’t. What? …*sigh* Fine. This week we find ourselves…in the back of a tour bus. But not just any tour bus, oh no. This very bus was once home to Spinal Tap, who drove it to second place in the first annual Cannonball Run. They would have won too if they hadn’t fallen foul of one if Dick Dastardly’s fiendish traps, and lost out to Penelope Pitstop. Turned out she was a big Spinal Tap groupie though, and systematically went about sleeping with the entire band, until her untimely drug overdose. A sad ending to a much beloved cartoon character. Anyway, we’re at the back of the swanky bus which has a wrap around sofa and an LCD television hooked to an X-Box. It’s all very Pimp My Ride. Guess this a good time to bring in our heroine right? Well here she comes, the greatest Australian/Mexican luchadora to ever put her head in a mask, La Lesbiana Fan-TAS-tica! She makes me write it like that. As she walks into the back of the bus we note the cell phone glued to the side of her head and our deductive reasoning tells us she’s making a phone call. She throws herself onto the comfy looking couch and makes herself comfortable, which involves her sprawling out along it’s surface with one foot up and the other dangling down. Lesbiana: Pick up, Pick up, Pick up, Pick up, Pick up…Hi! Whoever’s on the other end she seems ecstatic to hear their voice. As she speaks she pauses every now and then to listen to what her caller has to say. Lesbiana: How’s you doing?…uh-huh…uh-huh…yeah?…uh-huh….listen, shut up a minute. Did you see the card for the pay per view?…I know, check me out and my title match. And it’s like, second to the main event, take that EVERYone else. This is a total big deal. Me and Jay are almost main eveners. Huh? Her cheery smile hardens slightly at whatever the other person has said. Dammit woman, put it on speaker or something. Lesbiana: Yeah I know, it’s gonna be freakin weird fighting my BFF…no I…no I will not stop using that childish term….’cos she totally is…yes she’ll still be my friend once I’ve thrown her off a barbed wire wrapped ladder…’cos…’cos the “F” in BFF stands for “forever”, not “forever excluding title matches”…yeah we will see. Ooh, getting a little huffy now. She pouts and wrinkles her brow as she defends Jaime against the slurs from…well from whoever’s on the other end of that line. Lesbiana: You just don’t like her ‘cos she’s peppy and you’re a miserable cow…so are too…what!? No I don’t bloody fancy her…she’s totally not my type…fuck you she is…nah-uh, she’s a friend, that’s all. Can’t a gal just be friends with another gal without there being anything going on?…What’s that supposed to mean?…I can so be friends with a girl without wanting to get into their knickers…Well, you seduced me, wasn’t a fair fight… Her smile returns as she listens to the caller muttering sweet everythings into her earpiece. Was that a giggle? Oh it totally was! How cute. Lesbiana: So you gonna fly out here and watch me win my first title? And once again her face sours. Lesbiana: You totally have to! This is the Hellcat title. It’s the first ever woman’s only title in FIW history. It’s a big freakin’ deal…I know but…It’s trial by wire, you freakin’ invented that shit! You have to freakin’ be here…no I will not stop saying “freakin’”… Again with the pouting, this time way more pouty then the first time as she sticks that bottom lip right on out there. Lesbiana: If you don’t come out here I’ll never do that thing you like again…yeah that thing…na-huh, not unless you get your arse out here to Vegas… Arww, she’s smiling again. I wonder what “that thing “ is. I bet it’s dirty. Lesbiana: You better…Ok well I’ll see you when you get here, I’ll get ‘em to save you a seat…K…yeah, love you too, baby…bye. She clicks the phone shut and shoves it back into her pocket, a big smile stretching across her face as she anticipates the arrival of her lady love, whoever it may be. Oh come, you know who it is. You don’t? HA! You suck! Anyway, your suckage aside, we’ll leave it there for now. Fade. |
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2:33 PM Jul 11