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| Graverous Thoughts; Sometimes the title is the hardest part. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 28 2007, 02:14 AM (54 Views) | |
| Minister Wighty | Jul 28 2007, 02:14 AM Post #1 |
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Opossum Queen of FIW
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Our scene this week opens up in the desert at night, sweeping sands... silent cacti... sweet, delicious tumbleweeds. *ahem* Our focus of the evening is Graver, who is holding of all things a lit candle in a small brass candlestick. The flame flickers and casts orange shadows that melt queerly into the blue of the still Nevada night. Graver: This week is the week of the Pay Per View. Summer of Sin. A pay-per-view you'll find I'm undefeated at. Last year, and during this one, the extra element of heat was added to the mix to increase the suffering a wrestler has to push themselves through to reach the hallowed treasure of victory at the end. Graver walks on for a while, allowing the wind to whip his long, dreadlocked hair behind him. He stays silent for a moment, his boots crunching against the sand before continuing. Graver: This year, the treasure is my Flycore title. And the trial? A Riot match. Anyone and everyone can come down to the ring once to try at my belt. The last person to pin a "champion" standing when the match's time limit expires becomes the new, TRUE, Flycore Champion... and though anyone can enter, FIW has made it mandatory for six individuals aside from myself to participate. Graver shakes his head and stoops down to pick up a scorpion off the sand. He hoists it by the tail and lets it dangle, wriggling ineffectively in his grasp. Staring more at the creature than the camera, he continues. Graver: Shaun Wilson has mostly made it apparent he lacks the mental alacrity to pay attenton to the TV, the card breakdown, any other wrestlers, or any of the conversations going on backstage in that he believes Zesboca Devani is still my student. So I'm going to use that to my advantage and express to everyone here than when he comes down to that ring in search of my strap I'm simply going to waffle his brains into the ring post until he starts talking like Silent Rage after a three-day bender. Of course, because I just said it in my promo, live, on national TV, he'll never see it coming. Graver turns the scorpion over, looking at its joints and carapace plates and intersections and such. It flails a few pincers his way, but as it doesn't have extendo-reach, this is highly ineffective. Graver: As for Devani herself, she hasn't beaten me yet. Every additional time she's attempted to prove herself, she's failed harder than the last. I'm not worried about her... I'll tell you who else I'm not worried about is Priest. Dragon hasn't won a match since the first Bush was in office, so I'm sure the Jesus freak'll make it into my match. But if he thinks the power of his faith and bible are going to save him against the unholy eye-opener he's sorely mistaken. Last I checked Sting's career was on the outs for the same reason. I hope you're a fan of his Priest, 'cuz you're headed down in the gutter with him. Graver finally sets the scorpion in his palm and it quite calmly does not sting or pinch him. They stare each other in the eyes with great intensity as Graver continues. Graver: I was only dimly aware Phyllis was still capable of stringing together multi-word sentences, much less wrestling. That's fine, though. He won't get the drop on me this time... this time he'll find his vampire ass staked through the heart and burning to death in the late afternoon sun. Hell, my only real threats in this match are Colbert Tottington and Extreme Ninja #2. Ninja used to have my title... and there ain't any denying that he's a scrappy little fighter... plus, we all know of Colbert's old exploits... y'know... before he decided he wanted to be James Barrett's gay twin brother. If James Barrett's twin brother is marked by his homosexuality, does that mean he's even gayer than Barrett, or does that perform something like a double negative and negate the gay entirely? No matter, I suppose. Graver: I'm not worried about the rest. Ninja and Colbert I'll keep my eyes peeled on. And that goes for anyone else that dares set foot into that ring. Everybody's got somethin' to prove, but I'm the one with the belt, aren't I? So I'm the living proof. 100% genuine article. Step into the ring, stare me in the eyes... and who knows? Just maybe I might open yours... Graver blows at the scorpion which blasts away from his hand into dust. Despite the obvious film edit, it was pretty cool, and we fade with a satisfied grin on this promo. |
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2:33 PM Jul 11