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| The King Has Returned.....; ... Lion King Quotes FTW | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 31 2007, 09:12 PM (54 Views) | |
| Hutch | Jul 31 2007, 09:12 PM Post #1 |
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A tatty pair of blue Converse allstars squeak along a heavily polished hallway, accompanied by cheerful whistling. They round a corner, and perform a little pirouette, spinning on one toe, before moon-walking backwards a few steps, then turning and continuing to walk like a normal person. Hutch (because you've all guessed it's him anyway) jogs up some steel stairs, and pauses at the top, taking a deep breath, his eyes closed, savouring the smell of the air, here in the Gorilla position. Though the mix of old canvas, wrestling apparrel and plastic seating can't add up to much, and the words "smell" and "gorilla" in the same sentence is rarely a pleasurable combination, it brings a smile to his face. Hutch: It's good to be home...... Hutch steps through the curtain. OUTSIDE THE CURTAIN Jeff Noon fumbles nervously with his tie, looking into the camera, rehearsing a few lines. Hutch requested him especially for his first interview back, and he wants to make sure he gets this right. He's so absorbed in faffing on with his tie, he doesn't hear Hutch sneaking up behind him. Hutch pulls his hands up to his chest, and creeps in the style of an old Warner Brothers cartoon villian, a huge slightly maniacal grin plastered on his face, and slaps his hand on Jeff's shoulder. JN: Oooh! Fu..... Hutch! Hi! Hutch grins, and grabs Jeff in a quick hug, which Jeff seems to be very shocked by, but not exactly adverse to. Hutch lets go, having some trouble unclasping Jeff's fingers, but hops back. Hutch: Nice to see you Jeff. JN: N..nice to see you too Hutch! Wow, let me tell you, I feel touched. Hutch's eyes widen. JN: First you request me as your interviewer, then you..... well...... wow. You must have missed me, huh? Hutch laughs, and claps his hand on Jeff's shoulder. Jeff laughs along warmly. Hutch wipes away a mock tear. Hutch: Ahh Jeff......... No. Just so damn much has changed around here, you're about the only person I recognised! And you know, you take what you can get. Hutch grins, and takes a look around the arena, taking in the atmosphere, and completely misses Jeff's lip wobble like a toddlers. Hutch: Now, don't say anything, and just hold the microphone, 'k Jeff? Jeff nods, and lifts up the mic. Hutch looks at it, Jeff's hand, and then Jeff's face, a look of confusion on his face. Hutch:*whispering* Higher. Jeff lifts it higher. Hutch:*whispering* Higher. Jeff lifts it even higher. Hutch:*whispering* Too high. *stops whispering* God, give it here. You'll never make a microphone stand Jeff. Go stand over there. Hutch points off the screen, and Jeff looks at him pleadingly, as Hutch admonishes him in the kind of voice you usually reserve for a puppy that left a surprise on your slippers. Hutch: Over there. Hutch opens his mouth to speak, then flicks his eyes sideways. Hutch: Over there. *pause* Good. Stay. Hutch turns back to the camera, and winks. Hutch: This is Hutch, standing by with an FIW.com excluuuuuuuuuuuuusive with the returning phenom, the former Grand Slam Champion, The Sultan of Slam, the King of Swing....... Hutch! Hutch swings his arms in the air, his breath rushing out between his teeth in a triumphant "Yessssss!" He waves to a few imaginary members of the audience, before scowling off to the right. Hutch: Over there!!! He stares in that direction, anger etched in his face, muttering to himself. Satisfied with Jeff's positioning, he grins back at the camera. Hutch: It feels good to be back in FIW. I said it. There. There's the emotion over with. I'm not going to cry, or express regret at leaving. I did what I had to do, and be damned if I didn't have fun doing it. But it feels good being home. He pauses, letting that sink in. He turns and looks at the set. Hutch: A few things have changed around here. I understand the ruling classes have been replaced, with more people who rule. Although they don't rule as hard, or as efficiently as me. He winks, letting off a trademark grin, and holding it just too long so it looks kind of goofy. He doesn't care, however, as long as he's enjoying himself. Hutch: And the roster has almost entirely switched. My big Russian "buddy" left. Jack Manson vanished. Most heartbreakingly of all, Kennedy left. Hutch shakes his head. Hutch: I'm so gutted, I never got the chance to.... Never got the chance..... to.... what's that word? He looks at the rafters quizically, his fingers drumming on his chin. Hutch:...... Work with her. She was a professional, and a damn good wrestler, and I respect the hell out of her for that.............. I also wanted to bone her, so it's doubly sad she's gone. Hutch looks off the camera at Jeff/ Hutch: What? Don't look at me like that. It's true! And I always tell the truth to my fans. He winks again. How many times is that now? He's starting to feel like a Cabaret singer. Hutch: But I'm thrown right in at the deep end! Whoo! Hutch reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. With his tongue sticking out of his mouth, he carefully unfolds it, taking care not to tear it. It appears to be some kind of napkin, emblazoned with the name of a strip joint. Hutch glances up, and grins, but self-consciously moves the napkin's logo out of shot. He coughs theatrically. Hutch:*reading* "A $100,000 Eight Person Tag Challenge Match!" Wow. I'm impressed! Of course, I'll be walking away with the money, but hey, that's inevitable. Let's see what else.... Oh, wow, look at the competition I'll be facing! Hutch reads, his eyes skimming the napkin. Hutch: Um.. Well.... There's...... Oh, the dude with the cat mask! I remember him. Oh, and Kailey! I remember her! Hmm. Yeah, don't recognise anyone else. He scrumples up the napkin and throws it over his shoulder. Hutch: But you know what, it doesn't matter. It's been TWO FREAKIN' YEARS since I've been in an FIW ring, and I'll be damned if I don't make an impression on all these new kids. See, I'm one of the old guard. People called me "kid" a lot last time I was here, but this time, it's going to be "Sir". He recoils in surprise, a thought suddenly occuring to him. Hutch: And another thing! Team Nakahata!? Team WHAT?! No no no no no no no no! Listen, when Hutch is on a team, the team is Team Hutch. Doesn't that just floooow better? Hutch makes wave motions with his arms. Hutch: Better than a team name that sounds like someone clearing his throat anyhow. But look...... *spreads his arms* I'll let that slide. Because when the night is over, all eyes are going to be on one man. The man all men wish they were, and the man all women wish they were under. Hutch flicks his hair out of his eyes. Hutch: Me. Because when it's all said and done, I'll be the winner, one more mark in the "W" column, and I'll be significantly richer, and all these newbies will recognise what a TRUE Living Legend looks like. How's that..... Hutch stretches his arms, and rolls his neck, before letting a huge smirk slide across his lips. Hutch:........ For a Slice of Fried Gold???? Fade out on Hutch's grinning face. |
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2:32 PM Jul 11