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| Drake In Hiding | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 7 2007, 02:13 AM (36 Views) | |
| Drake | Nov 7 2007, 02:13 AM Post #1 |
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Drake Love
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[align=center]VIDEO FOOTAGE FROM THREE DAYS AGO[/align] We can immediately tell that we are witnessing a Drake Love video by the opening shot of an American Flag. However this isn’t quite what one would expect as the camera pulls back. The flag is dirty and a bit frayed at the edges as it waves in the wind. We can then tell that this particular flag is wavering above a trailer park. We see Jeff Noon looking as stylish as ever with his stained jeans and awesome plaid shirt. We switch shots to see Noon dig though his rustic jeans and pull out his keys complete with his Justin Timberlake mini-picture attached. Inside of his professionally designed abode, Noon flicks on the light switch, complete with the Star Wars back plate. Noon shrieks like a girl when the form of Drake Love sitting on the couch pops up. Noon: AHH! What the hell are you doing here? Why are you in my house? Drake: Technically it is a trailer. Noon: Which I live in, thus making it my home. How did you find me? Drake: Your mom told me. Why didn’t you tell me she kicked you out? Noon: That’s not important. Back to my original question that you avoided. What the hell are you doing here? Standing up off the couch, Drake picks up the Hellcat Title and places it over his shoulder. Noon closes his screen door and enters further into his comely home. Drake: I am in hiding, well technically. I hear there are a lot of pissed off people looking for this title. Noon: Then why the jimmedy heck would you take it? Drake: To prove a point. A statement needed to made about the entire Hellcat Division. Noon: This is the place where you give me a sanctimonious speech isn’t it? Drake: Shut up and listen. I am standing for a new, brighter, better, and more family oriented America. Noon: This from the guy that had me stalk Jaime Lee while wearing a Panda suit though the zoo. Drake: The Hellcat Division is evil in two ways. First off it objectifies women as a whole having them pigeon-holed in one division and thrashing about. Noon: I actually like that part. Drake: Well you just let me finish. The second part of the corruption associated with the Hellcat Championship is that it is sexist. Noon: I am afraid to ask, but sexist? Drake: Sexist indeed. No males can challenge for the Hellcat Title? That is not what I would call equal rights. America was based on the principle that all people are created equal. Noon: Wasn’t America founded on slavery and the oppression of women rights? Drake: Stop getting me off track damn it. Don’t make me slap you like your great Aunt Betty. Anyways the entire concept of the Hellcat division is both corrupt and unjust. A message needed to be sent to the entire Hellcat Division and perhaps the entire world. I know that the female portion of the roster is seething with rage but I will deal with them all one by one if needed. Drake moves over to the booth surrounding the square table in what one could be guessed as the kitchen. Noon walks over to join Drake and passes a huge hole in his wall, with has been covered very eloquently with cut up plastic bags. Noon: So, how is this going to effect your relationship with Jaime Lee? Drake: What relationship? I see her as nothing more than a symbol to a reformed America and it all starts with some major changes here in FIW. Noon: Anyways, I have sometime before I have to get ready to fly out to Puerto Rico. I have some interviews set up already. Drake: With who? Noon: Adam Wilson, Ethan Adams and a few others. Anyways, what are your thoughts about this upcoming match? Drake: What is there to say? I have two mortal enemies in Ethan and Extreme Ninja then thrown into the mix is a man I once called friend who I now despise with a passion. Noon: Wait, you hate Ash? Since when? Drake: Since forever I guess. He has always been a pompous jackass and I have finally had my feel of his ego. Noon: Let me guess, this is the part where you tell us all how Ash is a no talent hack right? Leaning over the very small eating device, Drake gets into Noon’s face as of course, the table is quite small. Noon leans back but instead hits his head on that fake wood paneling. Drake: Listen here, Ash has skill there is no doubt. However while he may be good, he is hardly the great legend that he claims to be. He once has some skill and still hangs on to that tiny bit. The truth however is that when you get past the ego and the hype all you are left with is the insecure little man that Ash truly is. He is a crybaby and a coward so good luck to Ethan Adams having to deal with him as a partner. Noon: Speaking of Ethan Adams, you two have quite the storied history. What are you thoughts about facing him again? Drake: What is there to say? He won the FSC on a fluke while I was out of action and then dropped it before I could pry it away from him. Then he cried and whined about how I cost him said title even though it was only due to his lack of anything resembling skill that forced him to finally cough up something he should have never held in the first place. And what happened to his big revenge campign? I slapped him around the ring a bit before I grew bored and moved onto other things. Now I have to deal with him again. He is like a cockroach that just refuses to die. Noon: Sure, cockroach, one of the most athletically gifted members of the roster, same thing. Drake: I am growing weary of your mouth Noon. Shut up and make me some eggs. Grumbling under his breath about something regarding this being his house, Noon gets up and pulls a frying pan out from one of the cupboards. He flicks on the switch that lets the propane flow to the stove and lights the small flame with a match. The tiny little fridge door pops open as Noon rummages around to grab some things to cook breakfast. Speaking into the icebox, Noon’s voice is muffled but distinguishable. Noon: What about Ninja? How the hell are the two of you going to work together? Drake: It is no secret that Ninja won’t be getting a Christmas Card from me this year. Nor do I expect one from him or whatever his crazy Asian ass sends out for the holidays. However when it comes to taking care of business in the ring we actually share a common bond. Noon: You both have perverse fantasies about Jaime Lee, a bottle of whipped cream, a naughty teddy, and a car battery? Drake: A car battery? What the hell do you want to do with a…you know what nevermind. The point is with two chumps like Ash and Ethan, Ninja and I will be able to dispense them easily. Although after the match, well all bets are off. Drake has the odd looking grin on his face as he is more than likely picturing nailing Ninja with his new trophy, the Hellcat Championship. Noon pours milk into a bowl with the eggs and begins to stir them around. Noon: That goes well with your new morally sound America speech. Drake: Damn it Noon, that is it. You aren’t flying with me on my jet anymore! You can take a coach seat to the show. Noon slams down the glass bowl and pouts as he stares at Drake. Drake kicks up his feet and grabs a magazine to read while Noon prepares his meal. |
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7:36 PM Jul 11