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Last Minute; Kind-of-not-bad-ness
Topic Started: Nov 8 2007, 04:27 AM (38 Views)
Xtreme Kitten
Extremely Ordinary
[ *  *  * ]
[The scene opens to Xtreme Kitten busily buzzing around a hotel suite that over looks the Caribbean, he is picking up clothes, he looks at the camera]

XK: Just a minute.

[Kitten quickly walks into another room and off shot but he isn't gone long, when he comes back the clothes are no longer in his hand]

XK: Look I'm in a bit of a hurry, didn't realise what day it was and what not, I have a boat to catch soon but since I know you wont leave me alone until I have given you a promo I'll not try and convince you to leave.

[Xtreme Kitten looks out to the Caribbean]

XK: I like this place and this place likes me.

[Xtreme Kitten looks back to the camera]

XK: For people in this small country to come out in their thousands after being ravaged by Noel just to see me really means something to me.

[Kitten smiles a little then stops]

XK: I know what you're thinking, they might have been there to see other people on the roster. Well let me tell you something, the majority of the roster suck, not even their own family would pay to see them and why would they? Two time limit draws in one night is not a show you want to see, it's not exciting or entertaining, the only thing two time limit draws does is prove that at least four people on the FIW roster are too incompetent to get the win within the allotted time unless they were fighting that fucking coward Matt Impact!

[Xtreme Kitten pauses to calm down from his outburst]

XK: But me? I'm worth paying to see, I am not officially the greatest champion to ever grace FIW again, I am now better then any champions that came before me, including myself, I'm better then myself... so much for a clone me being my only challenge.

[Kitten thinks about how he is not better then himself]

XK: Now that I have proven I am a master of self improvement I think it's another instalment of

[Kitten puts on his game show announcer voice]

XK: XTREME KITTEN GIVES KENNEDY ADVICE!

[Kitten straightens himself up and looks directly into the camera]

XK: Okay Kennedy since you obviously do need advice from me or a professional to make the decision whether you admit it or not I am going to say it once more... CHOOSE HUTCH! Last week Hutch proved practically why he is the better choice. Prime being the thumb sucking coward he is decided to interfere in our match with a weapon on your behalf, he failed as he always does when I'm involved and you got hit instead that's both your fault for being an idiot and continuing forward after I got out of the way and his for being the incompetent fuckwit he is... oh and his mum's fault for not dressing up as a dog and having him put down when he was young. Hutch on the other hand was masterful in his vain attempt to help you, he slide in spun me around so he could look me in the face and did what he did> He's still a fucking hack but he's a man about it and competent; except for the fact that it was in vain like I said because as we all know I was always going to win.

[Kitten smiles about the inevitability of his victory]

XK: Now as for this week, the match I'm in, who the fuck booked this match? Whoever it was better not try and pass this piss poor decision off to a dizzy, blind, mentally deficient child throwing darts at a dart board, because I know that kid and his books better matches on his TEW game, which is impressive when you think about it. What's so wrong with the match? Let's see I'm on the wrong fucking team. I should not have to share anything let along a corner with Prime. I get that maybe someone was trying to keep the teams even, with two half decent wrestlers and complete hacks on one side and on the other side FIW's Absolute Zero, the Saline Solution, the man that would make Darwin sceptical of evolution, Prime and the BEST! FIGHTER! IN THE WORLD! However the teams aren't even, they are Hutch and Kiyoshi and I have to team with a man that makes Nightmare look talented. How about this we swap the teams and it can be Hutch and I versus Kitten's Heavy Bags. I mean sure it wouldn't be any more exciting because everyone has seen me carry dead weight to victory for years but at least I'd not have to share with Prime.

[Kitten's eyes light up with an idea but then he shakes his head]

XK: It's a horrible idea but if that doesn't suit management how about this, switch the teams to be Prime and Hutch versus Nakahaha and myself. I'm sure like myself no one in the match would think it's a good idea but it would be in Kennedy's benefit. She'd be about to see Prime and Hutch side by and Hutch would get a benefit much like that of going out to a club with an ugly friend, they make you look more attractive then you really are, I mean next to Prime Hutch might look as good as me

[Kitten shakes his head]

XK: No he wouldn't, I'd be standing next to Nakahaha, the gap would reamin the same and I'd still look better. I'd just like to state though I am all have for sharing a corner with Kiyoshi, it means I don't have to share with Prime and I will get the chance to ask why is he in this match. Hutch and Prime make sense they fought between themselves and failed in stunning fashion to cause me any problems last week just like their beloved Kennedy but Kiyoshi? What'd he do win a raffle to share a ring with me again? Is that why he was at ringside last week to see what his prize looks like?

[End of footage]
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