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It's going to be a long day
Topic Started: Nov 30 2007, 06:57 PM (45 Views)
Xtreme Kitten
Extremely Ordinary
[ *  *  * ]
[The scene opens with Xtreme Kitten standing in a doorway, rubbing sleep out of his right eye, yawning, in only “Felix the Cat” flannel pyjama pant with his short hair very messy. The Dual Crown champion stares blankly at the camera for a moment then nods a little]

XK: Right, right, what time is it?

[Knowing he'll never find out if he waits for the camera operator to respond he ventures into his hotel room, through the living room area and into the bed room. The champion walks up to the bed side table and picks up the clock to read it he then drops it back on the table and turns to the camera looking a little angry]

XK: Ten thirty! What the fuck?! Have you even slept? Did you come here directly from from mute dance party? Or before going to sleep did you ask yourself the question “How can I ruin someone's day tomorrow”?

[Kitten wanders around the hotel room for a while trying to calm down, he ends up in the kitchenette putting the kettle on. He starts making a coffee, he tosses a heaped tea spoon on of the ground substance into a mug with “BEST FIGHTER IN THE WORLD” on it in the style that resembles finger painting]

XK: Last week was an insult.

[Kitten puts four teaspoons of sugar into the mug]

XK: An insult to me and the people of Mexico.

[Kitten looks up from mug]

XK: First off Jay Bain showed that I was wrong to think he could be of any help. I gave the guy time to shine and what did he do with it? He spent a good portion of it getting beaten up and then he failed to break up the pin fall... at least considered helping him.

[Kitten puts a spoon full of sugar into his mouth and lets it dissolve]

XK: Just to make it clear there is a very good reason I didn't escape the sunset flip and it has nothing to do with the ridiculous accusation that it is my weakness.

[Kitten walks towards the camera and glares at it]

XK: I know very well how to escape the sunset flip, I know to continue going with the motion and rolling to you knees. So the reason I didn't?

[Kitten gives time for people to think about it but before he can answer he is interrupted by the howling whistle of the kettle. Kitten goes back to the kitchenette and pours the boiling water into his mug and stirs it. Kitten grabs the milk from the fridge, he pours the milk then looks at the camera as he sets it down next to the mug]

XK: I didn't roll through because Blond had a roll of coins in hand, I'm not going to risk getting my face broken by currency even if it means losing to hack that needs to see a speech pathologist!

[Kitten takes a swing of the milk then puts it back in the fridge, the swig leave Kitten with milk moustache]

XK: Losing to a hack like that was an insult to Mexico, I'm sorry for that and one day I promise Jay Bain will be sorry for it too, he will also be sorry for failing to be a decent standard of dead weight.

[Kitten picks up his coffee and takes a drink]

XK: Though that was not the last insult of the night, I graciously offered my services to the Rejects to replace their missing dwarf. I could have lead them from a band of refuse to well I didn't think that far ahead but it would have lead to them not validly being called refuse I can tell you that.

[Kitten takes another drink]

XK: And what did my offer get me? Rejected by the Rejects and slapped in the face and eventually lead away by security, two insults, one act that couldn't be left there.

[Another drink]

XK: Some might says I brought on slap. Some people might say I brought on the rejection as well but those people are deluded megalomaniacs!

[Drinks some more does the champion]

XK: But the slap there is real argument for that but I insulted Nakahaha, I always insult Nakahaha, me being champion is an insult to Kiyoshi because I'm not honour's stuck up bitch. The slap was uncalled for; if we were in the ring it would have been fine, in the ring, in competition, we are equals-

[Kitten smiles almost laughing he stops himself by taking a drink]

XK: At least that's how it's supposed to be but when you are the perfect example of what an ordinary person can achieve with hard work very few people are your equal. So in competition the slap would have been fair but backstage Nakahaha overstepped his bounds, he acted without regard for station. See I'm the Dual Crown, that's proof I'm the best thing going, that means I'm at the top. Kiyoshi is a two time failed Dual Crown contender, before that a failed International Championship contender and somewhere in the middle a tag team and Fighting Spirit champion, this puts Kiyoshi somewhere between the middle and the bottom.

[Xtreme Kitten would continue but he is interrupted again by a noise, the sound of a phone ringing. Kitten looks at the camera for a moment hoping it will stop but the phone just keeps going. Xtreme Kitten walks across from the kitchenette and into the living room to pick up the phone. The contempt Kitten had for the phone a moment ago suddenly disappears and a smile lights up his face]

XK: ...Yeah I'll take the call.

[Kitten holds the receiver to his chest and looks at the camera]

XK: This is a private call so turn off the camera.

[Stares at the camera, the stare turns to a glare as he realises it's not going to be turned off. Kitten puts the receive back up to his ear]

XK: Hey I'm gonna need a minute I'm in the middle of a promo... Not gonna take long?... Lunch? Yeah I can do lunch. I'll meet you at El Angel... Pick something up on the way... No, I'll get it after all I'm the one that still has a job... Look stop arguing, I'll get lunch... yeah see ya then.

[Kitten keeps hold of the phone for a moment then hangs up]

XK: Where was I?

[Kitten takes a sip from the mug while he thinks]

XK: Oh right, Me great, Kiyoshi not great though not the opposite of great.

[Kitten looks at the camera]

XK: So Kiyoshi slapping me was like a street walker slapping the Emperor of Japan. Even if the Emperor wasn't hurt or insulted by the slap he'd have to make an example of the street walker. The Emperor can't have people thinking that's acceptable behaviour, who knows what will be next, crazy cartoons with girls wearing skimpy uniforms that lead to real girls wearing those types of clothes, it'd be madness and where would it stop?

[Xtreme Kitten taps his thigh just below groin]

XK: About here because to continue would to be obscene.

[Kitten takes another drink from his mug]

XK: See I'm the Emperor and Kiyoshi is nothing but a tramp and although I wasn't hurt by the slap nor was I offended that he had done it because I understand why, I am an offence to Kiyoshi. However I couldn't merely let him get away with it, I had to make an example of Kiyoshi and show everyone there are consequences. Now after the slap I made one more appearance on ReVolt.

[Kitten takes a ship from his mug]

XK: Not exactly the kind of act people usually expect from me but I've had it with the old ways. I've tried playing mister nice guy and giving the garbage a chance to better themselves but do they? No, they just return to the tip and play in the waste. So I decided to put it out there in a language they can all understand. Straighten up and fly right or that's what will happen to you.

[Another drink]

XK: People have questioned my intent what I trying to neuter Kiyoshi? No. Was I hoping to injury his groin to make my inevitable win even easier? No, I want to put on a good show. All I was doing is showing everyone that what Kiyoshi did was not acceptable behaviour.

[Kitten sits down on the couch and the camera moves across the room to keep him in shot]

XK: Saw Kiyoshi's promo and like Ginger Dwarf I too was amused. I'm sure he wasn't amused for the same reason I was though... or he wasn't amused at and those were forced laughs, which I guess they'd have to be if he's realised the group of people he's surrounded himself with.

[Kitten smiles a bit]

XK: The again maybe he chose them deliberately, to make himself look better, they might just be his ugly friends which explains why he chose the lowest of the low; excluding Prime and Bill, they have to be really ugly to make him look good.

[Kitten shakes his head and waves off that train of thought]

XK: I wont go into that any more because we could be here all day if I do and I have a lot to do today.

[Kitten takes a drink]

XK: MMM. In the beginning of the promo Kiyoshi admitted a rather significant weakness. Nakahaha said since joining FIW he tried his hardest to maintain his beliefs and look at him, he failed miserably. Kiyoshi came in with a sense of honour, a sense of right and wrong, pride and if I say so myself some talent. Now he started out in what people have called a bad crowd though it was only a crowd of two himself and the gimp. He dropped the gimp because he realised he clashed with his beliefs. Then he ended up falling in with another bad crowd, Matt Impact and who ever else was involved in whatever that was. Now Kiyoshi is in with a shit crowd. So unless Kiyoshi's beliefs aren't of honour and are actually about constantly teaming up with the wide variety of scum on offer in FIW I'd say he failed miserably to hold on to his beliefs. After all going a gang of seven thugs and attacking someone after they have gone through a match doesn't exactly scream HONOUR! However it does scream IN A GROUP I THINK I'M BRAVE!

[Kitten takes a drink]

XK: So what's the weakness? It's not like he clearly stated it but admitting he tried to stay true to his beliefs and his obvious failure says to me that Kiyoshi lacks conviction and willpower. Now that he has admitted he is lacking in these qualities it makes sense now why a man trained and a champion at thumb wrestling has failed to have any worthwhile success.

[Kitten looks like he just thought of something, he takes a drink]

XK: Did I say thumb wrestling? I meant Judo just like Nakahaha meant Muay Thai not Kick Boxing that or he was just hoping to offend me by comparing what I do to that watered down mix of Karate and Muay Thai or he might just be a fucking idiot and think they are the same thing.

[Kitten smiles]

XK: It's probably the later, being from Japan he might have blinkers on and only recognise fighting styles from home.

[Kitten takes a drink]

XK: It's nice Kiyoshi has a little reminder of me, it's something he can point to and tell the grandchildren about, the story of how a mean man kicked the stitches out of his face. Summer of Sin two thousand six was just the beginning though wasn't it Kiyoshi? I mean the very next year there we were again you and I and again I was the victor. Two thousand six was good though, I especially like the fact that the man you now do the bidding of saying that his student the best of which was JJ was better trained then you, that was golden in retrospect, so was my body in that Garfield robe. I'm not trying to drive a wedge between you two but it is just funny how things have worked out is all. Oh and the respect you showed me when you ripped up my official shirt? That was just a true testament to your character, it really left a lasting impression on me. Though you probably don't remember all that stuff about the night, I'll send you a copy of the show, I managed to track down the archives seems they weren't burnt down by an idiot. I understand what you mean by a reminder though, like I am reminded of Kennedy because of this

[Kitten pulls down his lip in an attempt to show the scar on the inside of the lip however it's just not visible. Kitten let's it go]

XK: Cheap bitch.

[The champion takes another sip]

XK: Have to admit though that night was probably the closest you came to getting the job done, some might say two thousand seven you were closer but those people are idiots because even after the Dojime Sleeper for what to me seemed like a long time I still had the energy to put Matt Impact away in less then a minute okay maybe two minutes.

[Kitten takes another sip]

XK: You want to know what inspires that laughing you here? Unlike what you believe it is you. The laughter might not be coming from you 'Yoshi but that's because I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you. See I find hypocrisy and irony funny; which means a lot of the time I crack myself up. The BEST! FIGHTER! IN! THE! WORLD! Laughs at you because of let's say Summer of Sin two thousand six. Oh and it is best not greatest. I'm the greatest champion FIW has ever known, best fighter in the world. If you going to quote one of my self proclaimed titles get it right. Back to that laughter though why? Why two thousand six? Didn't I just explain it?

[Kitten stares into the camera as if looking directly at Kiyoshi]

XK: You mister honour and respect showed me none of those qualities that night. I didn't expect you too as I've said I am not a man of honour and I respect very little. But surely a man with true honour and real respect would have at least tried on that night. The first night we stood across from one and other as combatants in a one on one contest. Surely the hand would have been extended then for the handshake but as I remember it you didn't offer me a handshake until months later... of course I didn't except it. Your claims of honour and respect that always sound so genuine but never seem to be there in your actions is what amuses me, what keeps the laughter coming.

[Kitten takes a drink]

XK: That and the fact that you keep coming back. As for the beast that stalks me, I know exactly what is is, it's kind of like the beast from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I think I have a picture of it somewhere.

[Kitten looks around]

XK: Where is that scary thing?

[Suddenly a light bulb flicks on Kitten's head and reaches between the cushions of the couch and pulls out a photograph that he dares not look at]

XK: I'd like to apologise to all those watching but this is the beast that stalks me.

[Kitten shows the picture to the camera, it is the picture of Bunny-Kage, Onikage with his mask on in a Playboy Bunny outfit a picture that looks fairly real though could be a good fake]

XK: It's terrifying.

[Kitten puts the picture back between the cushions]

XK: Now that's the only beast I know that stalks me. Though you meant yourself right Nakahaha, you think you're the beast the stalks me, it's be funny if it weren't so sad. You aren't the beast that stalks me, your the tame moggy that hisses and scratches at the Leopard, don't like cats? You're the Chihuahua that barks and growls at the Spanish mastiff. You think you are something to worry about but do I look concerned?

[Kitten looks at the camera]

XK: Do I sound nervous?

[Kitten drinks the rest of the coffee and jumps up from the couch and stands similar to how Kiyoshi stood in his promo and does a Kiyoshi voice impersonation]

XK: I, Kiyoshi Nakahaha like all contenders before me believe that I shall be the one to topple Xtreme Kitten. Even though like Prime I've had multiple chances where I also believed I could and would topple and failed. This time, I know I will be the one to walk away with the gold, I knew that last time, I was wrong I don't know what happened, mercury must have been in retrograde or something. I can do this time, this time is different then all those other times and I know I said that last time but this time I'm sure of it. If I fail I am sure that the next time I get a shot that will be my time, and the time after that and the time after that, they are all my times! Everyone has said it was their time, they were wrong it's my time. My time, my time, my time.

[Suddenly Kiyoshi Kitten looks depressed]

XK: When? When am I going to commit seppuku and stop bring dishonour to everything and everyone I am associated with?

[Kitten smiles and walks off shot, he then runs back on and goes back to his Kiyoshi impression]

XK: I'm schizophrenic, I hear someone laughing who isn't there.

[Kitten smiles and stands normally]

XK: Before I go for a nap, shower, nap, get dresses, nap and go out I have one last thing to say. Kiyoshi the only difference between this match and every defence I've made until now isn't on your side, it's on mine, here I actually want to give the fans a good show.

[Kitten shakes his head]

XK: It's gonna be tough.

[Kitten then walks off shot. End of footage]

SoS 2006
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Xtreme Kitten
Extremely Ordinary
[ *  *  * ]
[The scene opens to a shot of a golden shining angel in one hand the angel holds a laurel crown and in the other a broken chain. The camera pulls back to show the angel stands atop a large column, sitting on the steps in front of the column with a statue of a giant lion being lead by children behind him is Xtreme Kitten. The champion is in a grey duffel coat, black jeans, Cheer Me t-shirt, black boots and net to him is a large paper bag People visiting the monument look at Kitten with excitement but don't approach him with the camera on. One person does walk up to Kitten though, she sits next to him, it's Lucy, she's wearing a stylish black leather jacket, white lady tee, blue jeans, black boots. Kitten looks at the camera]

XK: Did you have to come?

[Kitten doesn't notice Lucy right away so she elbows him in the ribs and he jumps]

Lucy: In fact I did, you'd have looked a real idiot sitting here waiting for me if I didn't.


[Kitten looks at her with a smile then gives her a hug almost tackling her to the ground]

Lucy: Off, get off me.

[Kitten lets Lucy go]

XK: What I can't give you a hug now?

Lucy: No you can give me hug but you can't mount me in public, I draw the line there.

XK: But in private? AWESOME! What the hell are we doing here?!


[Kitten jumps up as he grabs Lucy's had he wants to rush off with her]

Lucy: Not at all.

[Kitten's hope gets dashed away and he plops back down]

XK: If that's not the reason you called then what?

Lucy: Can't two friends who just happens to be in the same city get together for lunch?

XK: I'm sure they can but we were more then just friends.

Lucy: Well we aren't now.

[Kitten picks up the paper bag and drops it in Lucy's lap]

XK: There's lunch, now if you don't mind I have a match to prepare for.

[Lucy was looking through the bag but then almost falls over when Kitten says he has to prepare]

Lucy: You are going to prepare for the match?

XK: Yeah gotta work of pulling my strikes to at least make it look like Kiyoshi has half a chance.

[Lucy rolls her eyes]

Lucy: How you've held on to the Dual Crown without me I'll never know, oh wait, the incompetent ref helped on one, Prime helped one the another and the other guy had a one track mind.

XK: So?

Lucy: So I don't think that without another helping factor you're gonna get past Kiyoshi this time.

XK: I've gotten past him without a helping factor before.

Lucy: When?

XK: The first time.

Lucy: That was ages ago.

XK: The time after that.

Lucy: Lance Evers. Lance Evers again after that. Matt Impact. He beat you after that though all as part of a plan of mine.

XK: That one doesn't count.

Lucy: Why not?

XK: Besides the fact that like you said that was your plan?

Lucy: Of course.

XK: It wasn't a title match.

Lucy: Fine, then there was the match where Graver hit you in the back of the head with a balloon weapon.

XK: Okay so other people seem to like getting involved when Kiyoshi and I match sometimes because that are also in the match but that wont happen this time.

Lucy: Why not?

XK: Something about firing people that do.

Lucy: What about Ronald's emo cousin?

XK: What about him?

Lucy: He'll be at ringside.

XK: Hmmm well my plan should take care of him.

Lucy: What plan is that.

XK: The one where I work real hard to make Kiyoshi look good, he'll think Nakahaha has a chance, he wouldn't try anything the jeopardise that.

Lucy: But he might try something to put Kiyoshi over the top.

XK: I'll deal with that if it happens.

Lucy: How?

XK: I'll kick him in the face, sure I'll end up with a white patch on my pants but it'll knock any idea of getting involved out of his head.

[Lucy just shakes her head]

Lucy: Look besides the problem at ringside you'll still have the problem in the ring.

XK: I don't follow.

Lucy: You aren't the same man that has defeated Kiyoshi in the past and he's not the same either.

XK: No you are the one that's not the same, I'm the same as I every was, victorious and not ashamed of it and Kiyoshi's still the same the slightly talented guy that thinks he is about honour and respect hanging out with people who can't even spell honour and respect.

Lucy: Kiyoshi has a corner man now.

XK: He had one before.

Lucy: This one knows you.

XK: This one wouldn't know his arsehole from his elbow and is an anchor around Kiyoshi's neck like he was around mine.

Lucy: He's smarter then you think.

XK: It's be impossible for him to be dumber.

Lucy: Look all I'm saying is you're going to need someone there with you.

XK: I'll have the Gatitos, all except that shiny traitor.

Lucy: Still haven't forgiven Oro?

XK: He hasn't apologised so no.

Lucy: All the Gatitos will be behind the barrier, I can be at ringside for you.

[Kitten looks shocked]

XK: You want to be there for me?

Lucy: Yes.

XK: I guess that's a start.

Lucy: It's only this once Kitten.

XK: You say that now.

Lucy: And I'll say it when it's over as well.

XK: We'll see.

Lucy: My help comes with one condition.

XK: I'm not sodomising him for you Lucy.

Lucy: Hey! I just wanted to know if you could do that, I've never asked you to. The condition is I want you to wear the mask.

XK: Why? Everyone already knows what I look like.

Lucy: Because I like the mask.

[Kitten smiles]

XK: Then I'll wear the mask.

Lucy: Good then we should beginning talking strategy after lunch.

XK: Excellent, you can help me come up with a way to make Kiyoshi look credible and if we have time maybe well figure out a way to make him look impressive.

[Lucy rolls her eyes and hand Kitten a wrap from the bag]

Lucy: This is going to be tricky.

XK: No kidding, he's not an easy one to make look good.

[Lucy just glares at Kitten]

XK: So would now be a good time to say I have to go to Pátzcuaro later to give them their tickets and get their opinions?

Lucy: How you getting there?

XK: Helicopter.

Lucy: Sweet.

[The champion nods and in simultaneously Lucy and Kitten bit into their wraps. End of footage]
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