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From the beach
Topic Started: Dec 12 2007, 05:42 PM (34 Views)
Xtreme Kitten
Extremely Ordinary
[ *  *  * ]
[The scene start with an extreme close up of a mouth, the lips part in a smile and the viewer is almost blinded by the brilliance. As sight returns we see that Xtreme Kitten is sitting laying on a tiger print beach towel with only black sunglasses and light grey board shorts on. The beach towel is on a beach believe it or not and the day is sunny as the camera lurches over Kitten from the right. In the background groups of people can be heard having fun as the waves crash]

XK: Oh good you found me.

[Surprisingly there is no sarcasm to Kitten's tone]

XK: This week I've got Jay Bain in a match, I'm credited with making it a bare knuckle boxing match, I can't recall that but hey I can't remember most of the three days after Violence Fetish.

[Kitten turns his head of the camera]

XK: I can remember Jay's promo though. I wish I couldn't but I can. He started by insinuating that Tanaka Zaibatsu was more then a team-

[Kitten baulks as he says team]

XK: it kind of makes me sick to call them that. What did Jay call them, bed fellows? No buddies, bed buddies.

[Kitten nods]

XK: Which was a shock to me 'cause I didn't know I was fighting a man of such creativity, it was so original of him to basically call them gay, no wait not original the other one... clichéd I think he's been taken pointers off Bane Security on how to insult people. Is gay even an insult?

[Kitten waits for response he knows isn't coming]

XK: Of course Jay didn't just stick to clichés, oh no he went to the bizarre as well by adding that the next time he gets his hands on Shaun he is going to make his face look like his arsehole. So I guess that means the next time Jay gets close to Shaun he's going to stick a cock in his mouth because he thinks Shaun and the rest of a Zaibatsu are homosexuals. I really hope I have the show with the next Jay versus Shaun match off, it's like I hate homosexuality it's just I'd rather not see it go that far in public especially when it's rape... unless Shaun goes willingly in which case I still don't want to see it though I'm sure that guy with the emo dude wouldn't mind. Then Jay went to the stupid and said that the match he wants is coming to a show near Shaun since it sounded like he was talking to Shaun... Oh course the match is coming to a show near Shaun if it weren't it'd be you versus what? A cardboard cut out?

[Kitten pauses to give Jay time to think but cuts it short]

XK: Moving on to when Jay got to the interesting stuff.

[Kitten points at himself]

XK: Or at least I think he was talking to me, I'm not sure, my names not Kitty Kat, it's Xtreme Kitten. Kitten, Best Fighter in the World, Greatest Champion Ever in FIW, the guy that beat me, Cunt or My Better are also very acceptable. You'd think being the former Dual Crown champion I'd be respected enough by the curtain jerkers to be called by my name... not that I expect respect especially from hacks like Jay.

[There is a small gust of wind. Kitten looks down at his abs and brush sand off of them. The Feline Fighter looks back at the camera]

XK: Jay made his first decent point of the promo when he got to me, said I've gotten complacent. Hmmm.

[Kitten rubs his chin]

XK: Complacency? Me? Maybe I did catch a case of a victory disease, maybe I've still got it but who could blame me? I'm the ultimate example of what an ordinary person can become if they put in the work and that's great, what else is great is that very few people have put in the work no one else on the FIW roster has.

[Kitten smirks]

XK: And just as Jay didn't put in the work to get to the level I'm at he also didn't put in the effort to get a sense of humour. I didn't try to become part of the Rejects my tender wasn't serious, would I have named them as Spice Dwarves if I was serious? Sure like I said that was an insult being rejected but it was always going to happen I knew that, everyone who knows about The Ordinary knew it, I'm sure most people picked up on it but not you Jay? I'm not sure you can afford to be in a match with me if you aren't bright enough to see that what it was. As for later that night Jay I didn't cock up the match, I got pinned but I knew what I was doing, I wasn't going to escape the pin fall just to get whack in the face with a roll of coins. You however screwed up your role at the time in not even putting in a half arsed attempt to break up the count, I mean come on you don't have a face has to be protected as vitally as mine, you could have ran in broke up the attempt but did you? Nope you stood there twiddling you thumbs.

[Kitten pauses]

XK: Loose, loose, loose, loose.

[Kitten says the word a different way each time]

XK: Nope, no matter how I say it loose isn't a verb so I can't possibly done it to the Dual Crowns, I loosened them when I done them up to tight and I lost them to thanks to the time keeper, I had a plan for that match damn it, a plan to make Kiyoshi look good and that time keeper ruined it. It all went roughly according to plan except for FIW employing a guy that can't read time to be the time keeper, see that plan was to have the time run out then I was going to be the big man and demand extra time and in the last minute I'd have pulled off a hugely tricky comeback move that would have blown everyone's mind and pulled off the win but that to a guy who can't read time or had a slow watch everyone was deprived so a truly stunning experience, ah well. When I get the rematch I'll just knock Nakahaha out quick with a knee. Then again it mightn't me Nakahaha that I knock out because according to Jay and whatever sources he has he might be leaving, not a big loss, he should go back to Judo try out of the Olympics.

[Kitten scratches his head]

XK: Can't figure out for the life of me why Jay wanted this match, I can't believe for a second he thinks he can be any competition to me. Last time I faced someone so low on the ladder I left Dragon a blood, unconscious mess. I can't see this match helping either of us, my head is in the game, I'm just really good at the game, so good I hamstring myself to make it entertaining which admitted backfired... fucking time keeper.

[Kitten shakes his head]

XK: No I just got threw explaining that, gotta keep moving forward. Where was I? Not going to help me any, not going to help Jay because being in a fight with a guy who fights for both fun and a living is asking for trouble not help. See Jay unlike you I've done more then a little bit and it is my thing. I might not through punches normally but that's because where I'm from punches aren't part of wrestling and because I don't like the idea of breaking my hand.

[Kitten looks at his hands then kisses, left then right]

XK: As for shenanigans and unsporting games, I'm the one person in FIW that you don't need to worry about pulling anything like that. I have to worry about you pulling the hack shit though, I saw your match at Violence Fetish you revelled in that trash. You're the one more likely to do something illegal and stupid. I'm the guy that hate you and everyone else that does that stuff, I'm the guy that knocks people out with talent and skill not chairs, pipes, trash cans and whatever else you untalented hacks use as weapons these days.

At the end of the match you wont be grateful for the opportunity. Blood pouring from your; eyebrows, nose, mouth and lips is nothing to be grateful for. Not knowing if you're just hurt or the bones are really broken is nothing to grateful for. Being so beaten up you can count to the grade of your concussion is nothing to be grateful for.

[Kitten sits up and the camera lowers to be leave with him as he takes off his sun glasses]

XK: As for the thing you proposed that if the Rejects or the Zaibatsu get involved we band together to get rid of them I'll have to decline. See the Rejects aren't my problem and they've gotten what they want from me and I have nothing the Zaibatsu want... except maybe my services. That means if they get involved they'll more then likely be coming after you and I don't protect hacks not any more, it always leads to trouble. So if anyone shows up I'll be getting out of their way and leaving whether the match is done or not.

[Kitten puts his sunnies back on]

XK: So go Jay, go tell all your friends on Facebook or MySpace to tune in because you have the chance to fight the greatest thing going, but remember to warn them, you're probably going to get you arse kicked.

[Kitten lies back down. End of footage]
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