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Morning Coffee; Ritual Sacrifices and Inelegant Beasts
Topic Started: Mar 21 2008, 11:31 AM (46 Views)
Dai
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Captain SPARKLE~!!!
Creative Team
Spring has sprung, the grass is ris; and Daisuke 'The Crow' Tanaka is out tending to baby lambs. Ok, so that last bit is a lie; since Daisuke 'The Crow' Tanaka is not out tending lambs, nor is it likely that he will ever be out tending lambs. At this precise moment, he is outside, enjoying the near cloudless sky, and the shining sun; but no, he's not near any fields. He is, as is his wont, up on the roof of the tallest building he can find, dangling his legs over the edge and holding a steaming cup of coffee under his nose. Whether the steam he breathes out is directly from the cup or his breath misting up in the cool, morning air is not known, but the latter is more probable; but as he sips his first few drops of black liquid, it seems he has something to say to the camera at his side.

Mr. the Crow: Oh dear, Ladies and Gentlemen; it seems that a certain Mr. Brody* underestimates the level of respect that the Tag Team Championship of the World affords a person. After all, what other possible excuse could I have to rub shoulders with the great and good in the ranks of Dual Crown Contenders?

With a shrug, he pauses to enjoy a little more of the aroma of his coffee.

Mr. the Crow: The Fighting Spirit Championship - which if you happen to watch this, Mr. Draven - is currently clutched in my talon, affords a certain degree of respect and honour and whatnot, but unfortunately, also attracts some rather unsavoury characters, who would find themselves having no business with any kind of World Championship. A Mr. James O'Brien, to name but on-

He's cut off, by the crash of someone shoulder-charging through a locked door, and the stamping of toe-caps on concrete; sounds doubtless caused by Mr. Blond, at last having tracked down the boss and made his way to see him. Upon realising that he's on camera, Blondie stops a moment to check his hair; which has shifted in a most unsightly way by a matter of a few microns and must now be extensively re-combed. Daisuke swings his legs over the wall and stand up to call across to his "Man of Hench."

Mr. the Crow: Mr. Blond; I do believe that I left you with a perfectly reasonable task to complete this week, by bringing down Mr. O'Brien; but also an equally perfectly reasonable suggestion of a manner in which to complete it...

Mr. Blond chuckles slightly nervously as the two meet.

Mr. Blond: Hur hur hur... Yeah, y'all did. Aw how we laff'd ya know? Sat'nists an' Pagans an' shit, wi' blood sac'fahces an' demon summonin' an' shit...

Mr. the Crow: Yes, I left the precise details in your capable hands.

Mr. Blond: Yea, well... Ah's jus' wonderin' if y'all had any serious ways ta beat him, ya know?

The Boss sighs, while the underling carries on his combing.

Mr. the Crow: Mr. Blond, I do believe that I advised you, for your upcoming Falls Count Anywhere match to find a suitable room, a boiler room or dressing room, or something of that ilk; and to daub the walls with blood in Satanic symbols and then to fill it with a number of Devil Worshippers or Would-be Druids or something of that ilk and instruct them to perform some ungodly ritual of summoning a being of unimagineable power to tear Mr. O'Brien limb from limb. Is that correct?

Remembering what the exasperated and repeated use of his name means, Mr. Blond only nods.

Mr. the Crow: While a blood-thirsty being from another realm would be most useful - I dare say more useful than you, Mr. Blond - I do not expect you to be the least bit successful in that endeavour. The intention of that plan would be to either cowe him into a shocked state, or perhaps spark immense rage at his beliefs being defiled in such a manner; and then, in the candle lit gloom, you Mr. Blond, would take advantage of his shock or his rage, or whatever other emotion he would be feeling, and then you would beat him.

Mr. Blond: Oh... Raght....

That's really all Blond has to say on the matter, and with a bemused look on his face, turns to leave. With his coffee having cooled over the course of his tirade, Daisuke turns back to the camera after taking a deep draught from his cup.

Mr. the Crow: Well now. No sense wasting any more time on that. On to the important business of the day: Mr. Brody and Ms. Sommers; the Tag Tem Champions of the World. Reluctant partners and Reluctant Champions, it seems; but of course, both have much better things to do than to 'play' with me.

An eyebrow is cocked for the benefit of the camera, along with a half a smile.

Mr. the Crow: Yes, our chemically enhanced friend clearly has much better things to do, such as submit to one Nicholas Allen or smash cute little girls. There is such a thing as the Dignity of a Champion, and in that regard, Mr. Brody clearly has none; but really, what did I expect from such an inelegant beast? Ms. Sommers however, is far more promising...

An ominous trail off into nothing is dragged out just a bit more coffee.

Mr. the Crow: The spunky, never-quit, half-the-size-but-makes-up-for-it-with-speed attitude of the lady does us all credit, especially those of us below about six feet and four inches and about two hundred and eighty pounds; and apart from her choice of 'partners' I really do not have a lot to say about her. Indeed, I admire the heartless way she has wrapped Mr. Brody around her little finger; which in terms of the manipulation of the situation I can fully appreciate, and in addition to that, when push comes to shove, she is not afraid to wade into a fight.

He lets out a low caw, and slowly walks back to his original spot on the edge of the building and takes a seat

Mr. the Crow: Watching her, it is hard not to think what I could do, given that I have not only her drive, but also the superior resources in the form of my Tanaka Zaibatsu and the wit and intellect to bring it all together. If she can win a Dual Crown, why cannot I do the same? Indeed, Ladies and Gentlemen, you should all be watching me this Sunday, as I do exactly that...

Fade...

[size0]* For those wondering, it was Kiyoshi who picked up the habit of calling people "Mr. Suchandsuch" from Daisuke; who had expensive tutors to teach him the joys of all languages in his formative years, and found that no matter what language he speaks, a formal, condescending tone comes naturally to him. Kiyoshi on the other hand got most of his practice actually speaking English talking to Daisuke in his early FIW career, and picked up some of that tone.
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