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Fear of cats-Ailurophobia; Jay seekin help
Topic Started: Apr 4 2008, 08:49 PM (44 Views)
100% Jay Bain
Unregistered

Huge pair of doors shut is what we can see. It can’t be made out where this is but the doors could be an old boarding school by the look of this setting. We could see Harry Potter come marching through at any point…but we won’t.

Jain Bain walks upto them, stood outside them dusting himself down to check he looks presentable, quickly he smiles and stares directly into the camera as if we just had arrived but we have been watching for sometime.

Jay: Howdo I am here to bring you an exclusive 100% Jay Bain segment from a secret location.

He steps back and looks in ore of the grand building and looks back at the camera proud like he discovered the place himself.

Jay: Well as you know I have trained with a former MMA Champion, fought 3 men at once, fought Nick, gone drinking with Hutch, Hung out with Roxie and fought one Xtreme Kitten already. Now, I am homing my mentality here today because I need to get in the frame of mind so here I am at an anger management course.

As the camera man walks closer to follow Jay inside as he opens the huge doors Jay suddenly stops and puts his hand up.

Jay: Let me stop you right there, did I say ‘come on’? so how about I tell you what has brought me here. I am not gonna go as far back as childhood but I will fly other some areas. Dad left when I was 3, had a not so nice Stepdad, ok whiz this bit. Had girlfriends come and go and one really messed with me.

Jay pauses as h falls back into painful memories once lived. Snapping out of it he shakes his head an looks back at the camera.

Jay: I am not being EMO here, no not at all. I just am giving you an insite to what has brought me here. SO.. what else has brought me here? Gabriel because he is a Shithead of shitheads. Colbert who is nothing but useless to this planet. I see he is back on winning ways, former Flycore champ who botches and loses it to Shaun Wilson, I still owe you Shaun a hell of a lot of kickings for all those sleepless nigt’s thinking about his promos. Oh yeah attacked me on my debut. Who else is there?

Jay without realising has walked into the building followed by the camera and we find ourselves in huge 18th century style manor. Oil paintings cover the walls of former owners of the house and Latin text is engraved into all the wood supports to the roof.

Jay:The Rejects is the best place to start for everyone’s anger problems, Roxie because well what the hell happened to our friendship? Soon as she joined previously mentioned Shaun Wilson suddenly she doesn’t want to even text me or answer my texts. Don’t get me wrong I always knew you was busy Roxie but you just have gone from my life. Of course we have Kitten and his Bike….erm…Lucy that’s it. Come on Kitten why else would she want two other men around in a close quarters situation…so she can get some action behind your back .Anyway I best go and meet the doc.

Jay walks off and the camera drops to face the floor and ends the segment facing our cameraman’s brown shoes.


***10 Minutes Later****

The camera looks up towards a thick wooden door where Jay walked into to see a shrink or quack. Voice sounds can be heard but nothing can be made out but the volume keeps rising louder and louder until the door flys open and we see a white haired man with a big bushy beard storm out and point towards the exit of the house via the stairs. Jay slowy comes out the room laughing like the doc is over reacting.

Jay: Calm it man. What’s the problem?

Doc: Get out! Don’t ever comeback!

Jay: Hear me out. I actually don’t understand why you are so offended?

Too late as the door slams and Jay is left Puzzled and bemused to what just happened.
He looks at the camera looking more at ease with his anger.

Jay: No idea what I even said? Let me think, I said… I have problems with Rejects, I am friends with an ex Football Hooligan, I loved a lesbian who hangs about with a Black American Whoops Ass Machine…, This week I have to fight a Kitten.

Suddenly Jay pauses half way down the stairs as if t dawns on him what may of just happened.

Jay: He probably thinks I am a nutcase! I hate Rejects, Hang with Hooligans, know some American cyborg is with my ex Lesbian intrest and I am going to fight a Kitten.
But hey I feel quite relaxed and trouble free so all is good in the hood.


Bain quickly rounds the cameraman to open the doors for him and as the camera spins around we find jay searching his jacket for keys.

Jay; Want a lift? If so the camera must go off here as I don’t want the world to see my driving.

Jay laughs and the camera once agin looks down at the brown shoes.

---------Signal lost-----------
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