Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Full Intensity Wrestling. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
I'm Insane?; El Lumberjacko~!
Topic Started: Apr 10 2008, 09:49 PM (53 Views)
Kyle
Member Avatar
Carolina Gentleman
Banned
We open up and we're in...well, I'm not really sure. The screen is a blur of various colors, distorted because the camera is so focused in on something. As the camera pans out and we get a better picture of what is before us it turns out we're in a locker room and El Lumberjacko is standing right in front of us. He's dressed in his normal attire this time, no laptop to be seen anywhere.

El Lumberjacko: "Welcome, FIWers! Isn't it a wonderful day? Doesn't food just taste so much better? It's almost like the very air I breathe is the first breath of fresh air I've taken every time. You could say that my win last week reinvigorated me completely. There's nothing quite like a good comeback and to start it off right with a victory. I'll admit that it may have been a bit one-sided, but hey, I was on a roll!"

He throws his arm up with his palm outward, looking for a high-five from someone, and it remains open for several seconds, until he puts it back down.

El Lumberjacko: "Now this week I'm faced with two competitors, a completely different situation from the week before. It's not one, but two people who are looking to win. So in total we have three people. Sorry, I know I'm starting to sound like the Count off of Sesame Street, it's just a shame I'm not a cool vampire too. With little fangs and the whole black cape thing going on. You could call me...Count Jackula!"

Jacko spins around a few times, imagining what it would be like to wear a black cape and to be a vampire, if such a thing really existed. In his own little imaginational world he continues to bounce about, before coming back to the camera's gaze.

El Lumberjacko: "One of the brightest up and coming talents FIW has seen in a while, Blake Orange. I'd give him the credit he's due if he weren't so off his rocker. First he wants to call me insane for "believing" to be a wood chopping lumberjack. And then days later he commends me on my ability in the ring. What's up with that? If anyone's crazy it's him, the guy has some strange obsession with Mr. Blond and thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. I can tell you this, Blake Orange, you are NOT and I repeat, NOT, greater than sliced bread! If anything you're not even in the same league as sliced bread. I recognize what success you've had so far, but besides that I couldn't really care more about you. You're the same as every other new guy that lets the success go to his head. Over confident and underestimating of the skills that your opponents have."

He shakes his head and makes a "tsk, tsk" sound, shaking his index finger back and forth in a disappointed manner.

El Lumberjacko: "I'm here to show you just how crazy I am, Blake. When we meet up in that ring on Sunday I'm going to show you just how freakin' crazy an "imaginary" lumberjack can be. You may have this twisted idea that Priest and I are just going to duke it out while you stand back and take it easy. To quote a great man, I don't think so, brother! I'm going straight for you when that bell rings, I'll be flying through the air faster than you can say, "Mr. Blond, you missed a spot!", on the nights he gives you a sponge bath. See, I've been here before, I've earned my stars and stripes, it's just a matter of letting everyone know that I haven't lost my touch. Meanwhile, you're still relatively unknown and still working your way up the ladder. I intend to knock you off that ladder of continuing success and then drown you in a maple syrup shower of lumberjack insanity when you come crashing down!"

El Lumberjacko starts to stomp around, trying to show off just how crazy he can be, until he's face to face with a jar of maple syrup on a nearby table that's against the wall. He picks it up in his hand and looks towards the camera.

El Lumberjacko: "You want to see how crazy I can be, Blake?! I'll show you how crazy I can be!"

The masked luchadore raises the jar above his head, letting it dangle there for a mere second, before releasing his grip on it and letting it crash to the floor in a mess of syrup and glass.

El Lumberjacko: "Only a crazy man would let such a delicate substance such as maple syrup be wasted like that! Especially a lumberjack like me!"

Looking down at his feet he stares at the mess he's made, crumbling to his feet and scooping up what syrup he can, in an attempt to salvage it. Pushing it up towards the screen where his mouth is under the mask, making long and strained sucking attempts to consume the syrup, despite the fact it's got glass in it.

El Lumberjacko: "I'm sorry, baby, I'll never treat you like that ever again. No, I promise, Daddy will be good this time. Who's my little sugar plum? You are!"

He lets out a weird little giggle and gets to his feet.

El Lumberjacko: "As for my other opponent, I can't say I have anything against you, Priest. You enjoy a good challenge like any other person and I can tell you're not going to resort to underhanded tactics in other to beat me. As long as you have my back if Blake decides to do anything funny I'll have yours. I understand you're in this to win it, but so am I. You say you're not going to just let me win, well I don't intend to let you just hand me a win, I intend to take it from you however I can. In a good natured and rule abiding way of course. So come this Sunday, Priest and Blake, you're going to get 100% lumberjack craziness."

That's all, right? Nope, there's just one last thing to be said.

El Lumberjacko: "Stay classy, FIW!"

El Lumberjacko makes a cheesy attempt at pointing at the camera with his hands in the shape of guns, with his thumbs pointed upwards and his index fingers out. With all of that in mind, the scene fades to black.
[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you
« Previous Topic · Oni's ReVolution · Next Topic »
Add Reply

Black Water created by tiptopolive of the Zetaboards Theme Zone