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| ATTENTION VINJ!; A Reject opens to a Reject...Dirty, aye? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 14 2008, 10:10 PM (86 Views) | |
| Mike "Ace" Rimmer | Apr 14 2008, 10:10 PM Post #1 |
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The camera fades in to reveal none other than Colbert Tottington sitting down on a chair. Reading a book. What? Not exciting for you sex-craved freaks?! Well to be honest, the man has do something when he's not being followed from a stalking freak....mind you, the General does bring a certain dynamic to the group...so he can be forgiven. Anyway, Colbert's on a seat in the corridor of one of the many nameless areas backstage in FIW that look so bland and alike eachother, that I sometimes wonder if they're Irish Catholics....OH NO HE DI'ENT! God I'm crap at filling these out with detail...I'm not Veg...ah hell let's get on with the action. Colbert's reading the book "Tracing Your Family Tree" with some intensity, until Lord General Mortimer Igneous runs up into the scene. Colbert looks up out of the book. Colbert: Ah there you are, General. You know it's funny, I'm struggling with this whole family tree thing. I can't find information about my ancestors, no matter how much I try... General: Colbert, has Vinj arrived yet? Colbert: Nope, but I told him to be here. Got that drawing? General: Certainly do. Here you are. The General hands Colbert a drawing. The camera gets a lovely close up to see... ![]() Colbert: Why the hell did you put a love heart? General: I think it's sweet...plus it fills the space. Colbert: Funny that's how you got your job. General: Exactly. So what time is Vinj getting here? Colbert: He should be here soon. I left a trail of Oreos leading to this spot. Look. Colbert points to the ground where a trail of Oreos lead off around the corner. General: Is that safe to do? Colbert: Well, now Herman's gone, and Jeff Noon's busy trying to practice his commentating skills to take Toby's place on that internet show thing, it is. General: Jeff Noon's trying to replace Toby? Colbert: Trust me, this company's not hiring anyone that describes a chairshot as "Oucheroonies". General: Obviously you've never heard Chip Martin commentate. Colbert: Who? General: Why do you act like you don't know him? The man was at your birthday celebration. Colbert: There's nothing like a metro being bullied. General: Again...that's how I got this job. Before this pointless conversation can continue, there's the arrival of a certain individual.... |
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| Dangerous Dan | Apr 15 2008, 01:32 PM Post #2 |
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...right on cue. Crumbs of black and white fall out into the entranceway before any sign of their expected guest can be seen - which, if their Oreo trap is any indication, is either a rodent or a Vinj. But the mystery is soon absolved as Vinj's head plunges cheek first onto the ground to try and save the crumbs hitting the floor... Vinj: NOO!!!! Why...? WHY did it have to be YOU! THEY WERE INNOCENT!!! INNOCENT I TELL YOU!! Vinj raises both hands toward the heavens to defy whatever god's predestined this happening. Vinj: I prayed for a go-go-gadget tongue...and all I got was go-go-gadget hunger. Vinj curls up into a fetal position to hide from the cruel consequences of his inaction...which...umm...seems to be nothing. But who knows; maybe that final crumb was the final piece of his broken heart. I'll tell you who - NO ONE. Not even ME! *coughs* So whilst this series of events unfold Colbert and the General look toward each other for answers and both respond with shrugs. Vinj slowly gets to his feet, stronger for the expierence...and...needlier. What? Yeah. Vinj lifts his green t-shirt up and stabs himself in the lower abdomen with a small needle. Vinj doesn't wince, doesn't even miss a beat and continues business as usual. Vinj: So what's up fellas? I've been around long enough to know that Oreo's don't just leave trails by themselves. At least, not outside my dreams... Vinj's eyes corner toward the ceiling with a long shrugging sigh. Vinj: Haaaaa....some day, Vinj. Some day. Colbert and the General stand a little unnerved at the needle resting inside Vinj's tummy, which Vinj seems to have forgotten during his day dreaming, and query Vinj to settle their own tummies. Colbert: So ahh...what's with the needle there, little buddy? Startled, Vinj shakes his head and squints toward Colbert who eyes downwards towards the hand connected to the needle...*sings* the needle's connect to the, li-ver, the liver's connected to the...*trails off* Anyways, you get it, right? Now notified of his situation, Vinj looks down to find that there is in fact a needle sticking out of his stomach...in his stomach...whatever. Vinj: Oh, yeah, excuse that. Just need it to process sugar in order to live. Ya know, what with the Vinjabetes and all. Colbert and the General nod to each other and simultaneously make the, "oh, of course, I knew THAT", face . YES, it is TOO a type of face. General: COMPLETELY normal. Colbert: I don't know why more people don't. The three share an awkward silence as one looks to the other for conversational direction before... |
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| Mike "Ace" Rimmer | Apr 15 2008, 06:50 PM Post #3 |
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The two look at eachother, then back at Vinj. Vinj has now taken to poking the needle sticking out of the stomach. Colbert takes a deep breath and begins to speak. Colbert: Say Vinj...we're friends right? Vinj looks up from the needle. Vinj: Want a fiddle? General: That's ALSO how I got my job. Colbert: General, shut up! Hey Vinj, I was thinking that since you're Grant Rice's opponent this week you could perhaps...soften him up a bit? I mean of course I could defeat Grant Rice if he was 200%, just as a team I think we should make sure our comrades should not be in situations that could cause an injury risk. So I was thinking, since we're friends, you wouldn't mind making sure that Grant Rice...faces such risks...too make sure that my match with him for his title is less of a threat. General, pass me the drawing. General: I gave it to you. Colbert: No you didn't. General: Yes I did. Colbert: Well I don't have it. General: Me neither. Colbert: Then where is it? Both of the man pat themselves down looking for it. The General then looks up. After spotting something, he points towards Vinj, getting Colbert's attention. The camera comes back on Vinj admiring the drawing of Colbert's and the General's....somehow getting his hands on it. Colbert: Ah you already have it...thoughts? |
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| Dangerous Dan | Apr 16 2008, 10:05 AM Post #4 |
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Vinj staggers back and thuds against the wall. He looks to Colbert then back to the picture. Then back to Colbert. Then back to the picture. Then back to COLBERT...then back to the picture. This goes on for some time with each repetition followed by Vinj sucking in his lower lip till it becomes glossed by saliva. Vinj: I...- Vinj tries to speak but can't seem to find the words to contain his emotion. Pools of moisture start to beg on the side of his eye lids as he speaks... Vinj: I...I think...I think the needle has snapped off in my belly. Huh. Would you look at that. It has. The plastic vile drops to the floor and Vinj is left with a two inch metal rod sticking in his gut. Vinj: Why...WHY is no one HELPING ME!! Vinj puts a wrist to his forehead to indicate his faint headedness as Colbert cautiously walks over and carefully takes the needle out from Vinj's lower abdomen. Vinj: Is it...is it out yet? Colbert examines the needle for a brief second before flicking it out somewhere in the distance. Vinj's left eyelid slowly opens before his eye peers down to survey the damage. Much to his delight, the needle has been removed. Vinj: No one has ever done that for me before. Vinj's over-enthusiasm manifests in a lunging hug that goes in Colbert's direction. Colbert doesn't so much return the hug as he does become trapped in Vinj's vice like grip. Whilst in mid hug Vinj's squashed lips purse to speak... Vinj: Consider your request granted, mighty man. Vinj puts Colbert onto level ground and pads down his scrunched up suit. Vinj takes another gander at the picture which has now become a little scrunched and creased after all the guy love. Vinj: Hm. The pictures pretty good. However, i do have one...just one, question. Why's there a heart through this arrow? Colbert: Don't you mean an, "arrow through this heart?" And with that Vinj begins to back away...slowly. One step, by one step. And as each foot of distance grows between Vinj and his counterparts a few millimeters of smile grow on his face until his teeth begin to chatter with laughter. Vinj: *chatters with laughter* Yeah. Like that. Till he back steps his way out of the room. General: So how far do you think he'l- Vinj's head suddenly pops into view half way up the left side of the doorway and consequently halts all conversation. Except his, of course. Vinj: Any of you guys got some dettol? This cut's got a bloody menstrual cycle or somethin'. No? Kay. Just thought I'd...check. Thanks. Vinj dissapears as quickly as he came leaving General and Colbert to themselves once again. But then Vinj is back as quickly as he came...and left...again. Vinj: I might just tear a tab off the paper. Vinj raises Colbert's picture and gives a demonstration on how he might go about tearing it. Vinj: Something like that, I reckon. Should do the...trick. Just thought you'd wanna know...that's all. Colbert and General nod in awkward synchronization. Out of courtesy? Confusion? Conformity? One of the 'c' words I'm sure. So unless they actually wanna talk I guess we fade out... |
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