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Hijo and the Man!; Now with 25% Old Material...
Topic Started: Feb 5 2009, 05:18 AM (42 Views)
Skell
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*The channel flashes a few times when that image you've all grown to know and tolerate appears...

Posted Image

before fading into a shot of a television screen which currently shows Toby Bostock standing next to "El Hijo Del Awesome" Max Rowley, in front of an FIW Banner for what is undoubtedly a standard one on one interview*

Toby: Hijo thank you for agreeing to this interview segment. First off, Congratulations on winning the tag team championship with Phoenix last week in the Round Robin.

Hijo: Who the hell are you?

Toby: I'm Toby Bostock.

Hijo: What are you doing here now, Woodstock?

Toby: It's Bostock and I'm here to interview you.

Hijo: Oh no the Hijo's not falling for that again.

*Hijo walks off camera.*

Toby: where are you going?

*Toby looks around confused for roughly two minutes*

Toby: Uh... should we cut I don't know if he's coming back...

*Suddenly from off camera you hear*

Scotty: Let go of me! How many times do I have to tell you I don't work here!

*Hijo pulls in his supposed friend and usual interviewer from another federation Jeremy Scottland.*

Hijo: Stop slacking and get to work.

Scotty: There’s an interviewer here already... one that probably doesn't hate you.

Toby: Actually...

Hijo: Quiet you! Just stand there and hold the mic... Scotty get to asking the questions.

Scotty: I don't have any questions prepared.

Hijo: Jeez Scotty do I have to everything myself.

*Hijo reaches into Toby's pants pocket*

Toby: HEY!

*Hijo pulls out a stack of index cards and hands them to Scotty.*

Scotty: How did you know he carries those there?

Hijo: Who puts what in the where now?

Scotty: What do you... Nevermind...

Hijo: That was a fine album... but totally unrelated to the goings on in Fiw, so make with the relevant questions.

Scotty: Hijo thank you for agreeing to this interview segment. First off, Congratulations on winning the tag team championship with Phoenix last week in the Round Robin.

Hijo: It's a pleasure to be here SCOTTY.

*Hijo glares at Bostock for a second*

Scotty: Is there anyone you would like to Thank for your accomplishment?

Hijo: Well yes, myself of course.

Scotty: why am I not surprised there?

Hijo: Silence I'm not finished yet... I'd also like to thank my awesomeness, as well as Coach Jeff A, The nation of Japan, Godzilla, Mothra, Gamera, but not Ghidorah or Rodan... they know why...

Scotty: Anyone else?

Hijo: Why yes actually, there are two more people who really helped make this momentous occasion for me. Mr. Smarty Smark from Smarty Smark & Smark Managerial Firm and Instant Gratification. Without these two instrumental players I would most assuredly not being standing here before you all as the better half of the FIW World Tag Team Champions of the World.

Scotty: you said world twice.

Hijo: The Hijo is aware.

Scotty: Would you mind explaining that to me...

Hijo: Which part?

Scotty: The part where you're thanking the managers for your opponents, and rivals for winning a match.

Hijo: The Hijo didn't thank him for winning the match... the Hijo didn't need help winning the match.

Toby: What about Phoenix?

Hijo: Quiet you!

Scotty: He makes a valid point.

Hijo: The Hijo is trying to explain himself... would you let me.

*Scotty makes the go right ahead signal by waving his arm in a forward motion*

Hijo: Thank you, as the Hijo was saying had Smarkus not wanted that burst of instant gratification, and did not issue the rematch clause at that particulatory time. Perhaps right now he would have the World Tag Team Championship in his constabulary of dapper gents.

Scotty and Toby: constabulary of dapper gents?

Hijo: But unfortunately for him and the rest of the dapper gents, he DID have the match there.... and he did win them back... making the final match of the Round Robin once again for the tag team championship... and we all know how that turned out for him.

*Hijo Nonchalantly flings his Tag Belt over his shoulder*

Scotty: Tonight you are in a 6-man tag match with Drake Love & Liam Mortell vs. The SS&S Associates consisting of Prime, Sean Madrox, and one half of the Former FIW Tag Team Champions Blake Orange, what are your thoughts on the match.

Hijo: My thoughts are they have someone on their team that lost the same title twice in one night, while on my team there are two current titleholders.

Scotty: That's all you have?

Hijo: Yeah, that and the song magic dance from the Labyrinth stuck in my head.

Scotty: can I ask why that’s stuck in your head?

Hijo: No.

Scotty: All right... what is the deal with you and that movie you seem to mention it every chance you get.

Hijo: It's just one of the finest pieces of art ever pressed to celluloid! THAT’S WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT!

Scotty: O...k... So... Uh... what is your strategy in the match tonight?

Hijo: What's my strategy? What's the HIJO's strategy? That's what you're really asking?

Toby: It's be awesome isn't it.

Hijo: Of course it is! Because I am THE Hijo of THE Awesome I am THE better half of THE Current Fiw World Tag Team Champions of THE World... and most importantly

*Hijo points at Toby Bostock.

Hijo: I am better then your FACE!

*from off screen*Scotty: What the hell are you doing?

*The camera zooms back and shows Hijo sitting on the steel folding chair in Jefe's gym watching the television.*

Hijo: I think It's pretty obvious I'm watching my pre-match interview from last week... you were there... you should know these things...

Scotty: Yeah... but why the hell did you tape that and not AIR IT.

Hijo: Air something without proper editing... what the hell do I look like some kind of amateur?

Scotty: ...The idea is these things air BEFORE the match happens which is why it's called the PREmatch interview... if you show this now it's not going to make any sense...

Hijo: Everything makes perfect sense still, I just edited out minor mistakes like that grease fire you started.

Scotty: THAT WASN'T ME!

Hijo: Sure it wasn't Scotty... sure it wasn't...

Scotty: What about the part where you basically claimed to win because your side had 2 champions, and then made a snarky remark about their team having Blake Orange who lost his titles twice in one night.

Hijo: What that parts still true.

Scotty: Yeah but you lost your match last week.

Hijo: That's a matter of opinion.

Scotty: No, it isn't Prime Pinned you.

Hijo: Do you have video evidence of this happening?

Scotty: Well no...

Hijo: Then I choose to believe that you're making things up.

Scotty: Look...just because I don't have video evidence doesn't mean it didn't happen!

Hijo: You're just angry because you're opinion is wrong.

Scotty: LOOK! The only reason I'm here is because Jefe said he was too busy to give you the card for the next FIW show...

Hijo: You don't work for him why the hell did you accept this quest, Human Interviewer.

Scotty: Stop talking like that...

Hijo: Never, Now answer the question.

Scotty: Fine... if you must know it's because he scares the crap out of me.

Hijo: Right... you know you haven't actually done what he sent you to do yet.

Scotty: I would if you'd stop... being you for a second.

Hijo: What the hell does that even mean?

Scotty: Be quiet for 10 seconds so I can tell you your match.

Hijo: ...

Scotty: Good. All right at uh... Ne-n...say?

Hijo: Nensai Senjou yes...

Scotty: Yes... that... You and Phoenix are once again taking on the House of Orange for the tag team titles, in a no time limit match.

Hijo: But I'm already the better half of the FIW world tag team champions of the world, how the hell is the match for the titles....

Scotty: Stop saying the world twice...

Hijo: Never... now answer the question.

Scotty: Uh... your defending your titles against them.

Hijo: Dewhatnow?

Scotty: Defending... if you win you keep them if you lose they go back to the House of Orange... pretty much what you've been doing in reverse.

Hijo: What? I can lose my title... why did no one bring this to my attention beforehand!

Scotty: You had to have known that was how this worked...

Hijo: I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING!

*Hijo points at Scotty*

Hijo: and I'll have you know that I am holding you personally accountable for this... your punishment is that I am not going to talk to you again for the next five minutes.

*Hijo stares at his wrist intently... *

Scotty: Uh... your not wearing a watch...

*Hijo looks glares at Scotty and scowls before going back to staring at his wrist*

Scotty: Whatever... I'm getting the hell out of here.

*Scotty leaves the scene and the scene fades to black*
<div style="max-height:64px; width: 100%; overflow:auto;">
El Hijo Del Awesome, Greatest Wrestler in the World

Your Favorite Four-Time Former FIW Fighting Spirit Champion
(02-28-10 - 5-30-10) (04-05-09 - 7-26-09) (06-10-12 - 9-29-12 )

Two Time Former Tag Team Champion
(01-11-09 - 04-19-09) (07-29-12 - 10-28-12)
</div>

Former Fighting Spirit, Tag Team, Undisputed International and Dual Crown Champion.

Winner of the 2011 Lady Luck Tournament


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